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I WILL Survive What enables some people to overcome even the toughest challenges? Comfort ZONE Create your own oasis of calm in the midst of everyday chaos Addicted to ANGER Why getting mad can feel so good Take the WISE CHALLENGE Lose weight, win $$$ WELLNESS FILES FOR OUR VALUED EMPLOYEES & FAMILIES BY CREDIT UNION BENEFITS FALL 2010 explore Wellness at Plan-it Health Extreme Makeover Is it possible to change your personality? Stuck in the STONE AGE How you’re hardwired to react the way you do COULDA, WOULDA, SHOULDA Obsessed by ‘What ifs’? DANGEROUS MINDS Free yourself from harmful psychological habits

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Page 1: I WLZOOWNLEAGW - creditunionbchealth.com calm in the midst of everyday chaos. Addicted to . ... So if you check the stove twice ... with a local therapist who uses this approach. Q

I WILL Survive

What enables some people to overcome

even the toughest challenges?

Comfort ZONE

Create your own oasis of calm in the midst of

everyday chaos

Addicted to ANGER

Why getting mad can feel so good

Take the WISE

CHALLENGELose weight, win $$$

THE INNER GAMEWELLNESS FILES FOR OUR VALUED EMPLOYEES & FAMILIES BY CREDIT UNION BENEFITS

FALL 2010exploreWellness at Plan-it Health

ExtremeMakeoverIs it possible to change your personality?

Stuck in the STONE AGE How you’re hardwired to react the way you do

COULDA, WOULDA,SHOULDA Obsessed by ‘What ifs’?

DANGEROUS MINDSFree yourself from harmful psychological habits

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A People who’ve had poor parenting – whether it’s neglectful or authoritar-

ian – or have been raised in dysfunctional homes where abuse or shaming is the norm are at higher risk. They enter adulthood with childhood wounds that make them unable to get into healthy relationships and leave them vulnerable to addiction. This, of course, just compounds their problems. Having a mental illness can also be related to the environment you’re in, such as being in a toxic workplace that’s full of conflict. Science suggests there may be genetic linkages too. Usually, though, it’s a cluster of causes.

Q What causes mental illness?

Q When and why should people seek professional help?

Want to stay healthy in mind as well as in body? Plan-it Health provides user-friendly tools and resources designed to help you understand and take care of your mental and emotional health. Log on to the portal and go to “Mental/Emotional Health” under “Healthy Living.” Or, if you prefer, access the comprehensive index of tools and resources under “Site Directory.”

GET INTERACTIVE

Q&AWITH A MENTAL-HEALTH EXPERT

Want to know what’s really going on inside your head? Hear what a psychologist has to say.

Dr. Eric Kuelker is the founder and president of Mental

Health Pros, an online clearinghouse

for mental health professionals and their patients. He

lives and practices in Abbotsford, B.C.

Q What is the relationship between thoughts and emotions?

A There’s a big movement in psychology called cognitive

behavioral therapy that says people’s emotions are created by their thoughts. Say, for example, your boss leaves a message saying he wants to see you at 10:30 in the morning. You might think, “Oh, this is awful; I bet I screwed up something. I’m going to get fired.” And your emotions spiral into depres-sion. Or you might say to yourself: “Hmm; I wonder what the boss wants to see me for. I recently applied for training in San Francisco; maybe he’s approved it. That would be cool.” And so you feel excited and optimistic. It just goes to show that how you think about something shapes your emo-tions and by learning to control your thoughts, you can change how you feel.

A In abnormal psychology class, stu-dents are taught that it’s a disorder

if it causes significant clinical impairment or significantly interferes with a person’s daily life. So if you check the stove twice to make sure it’s off before you leave the house, it’s probably not a disorder. But it might be a disorder if you’re always delayed getting out because it takes you at least 10 minutes to check the stove. More and more, though, psychologists are realizing that mental health is actu-ally a continuum; at one end, you have emotionally healthy and at the other end, you have emotionally unhealthy, and most people fall in between. A mental illness is not like diabetes, where a test can tell you if you have it or not. It’s not black and white; there are a lot of shades of grey in mental health.

Q How do you know if you have a disor-der or if your behavior is just quirky?

A A trained counselor or therapist can help with a wide variety of things: treatment

of psychological distress, such as depression or anxiety; marriage counseling, since divorce isn’t just traumatic and expensive but also puts you at greater risk for a whole bunch of health problems; sorting through issues from childhood; learning to set boundaries. Even people who appear mentally healthy will benefit from counseling. I work with a lot of clients who see me because they want to increase their self-awareness and personal growth.

A There’s been some exciting research that shows therapists who measure outcomes

and get standardized feedback from clients after each session double their effectiveness. They’re also twice as effective as therapists who don’t request feedback or simply ask for it verbally – which can make it really tough and intimidating for clients to give their honest as-sessment. If you go to www.effectivetherapists.com and e-mail us, we can put you in touch with a local therapist who uses this approach.

Q How do you know if the profession-al help you get will actually work?

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You’re at your high-school reunion when the sight of a familiar face causes you to shudder. Bad memories come flooding back: the mean-spirited teasing; the arrogant boasting; the obnoxious antics and attitude that made this particular student stand out in all the wrong ways. But even as you try to avoid him, he greets you with genuine warmth and an outstretched hand. Is it possible the class jerk has actually become a nice guy?

It’s more than possible, according to new research, which is demolishing the long-held dogma that people don’t really change after their formative child-hood years.

Previously, psychologists could be divided into two camps: those who believed an individual’s temperament was all but set in stone by age 30 (the “hard plaster” theory); and those who believed it was continually shaped and reshaped by internal and external factors (the “soft plaster” theory). “Hard plaster” proponents appeared to have the edge. They pointed to five basic personality traits that seemed imper-vious to change: conscientiousness (being organized and following through on goals and tasks); agreeableness (being empathetic, considerate, and helpful); neuroticism (feeling insecure and anxious); openness to experience (being spontaneous and eager to learn or explore new things); and extroversion (being drawn to others and seeking out social contact).

Then, in 2003, researchers at the Uni-versity of Oregon conducted a ground-breaking study of more than 132,000 adults to see if their lives adhered more closely to the “hard plaster” or “soft plaster” model. The results, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, were incontrovertible: people do change – sometimes sig-nificantly. What’s more, many of these changes are for the better.

Conscientiousness rose among the vast majority of the study’s subjects as they entered their twenties and assumed the adult responsibilities of families and careers. Many also experienced an increase in agreeableness, marked by a willingness to give of themselves to others, over the course of their thirties.

“Students do better in school, feel more confident and more optimistic, and enjoy learning a lot more if they

believe they can change.”

“Temperament is not stable,” develop-mental psychologist Carol Dweck told Psychology Today. “While the vast ma-jority of mindsets are powerful and long lasting, they can indeed be changed. We all have the potential to make those changes and we are wasting that potential if we don’t.”

The catalyst for change, according to Dweck, is self-belief. Her research has demonstrated that students do better in school, feel more confident and more optimistic, and enjoy learning a lot more if they believe they can change. Dweck has even helped students who are struggling to improve their grades simply by teaching them that their brains are constantly developing and that they possess the inherent power to change.

Check out some of the traits (left) that personality-change experts say you too can transform if you’re truly sincere and really believe you can do it.

EXTREME MAKEOVERIS IT POSSIBLE TO CHANGE YOUR PERSONALITY? RESEARCH SAYS YES

SOCIABILITYShy people are so worried that their awkwardness and nervousness will be obvious to others that they routinely avoid social settings. Yet studies reveal that when they push themselves to engage in social activities, they’re generally thought of as highly sociable by the people that they meet. What’s more, the wallflowers-turned-social butterflies typi-cally report experiencing huge satisfaction from interacting with others.

OPTIMISMThe evidence is clear: optimists are both happier and healthier than pessimists. But how do you change your outlook from gloomy to sunny? Suzanne Segerstrom, author of Breaking Murphy’s Law: How Optimists Get What They Want from Life – and Pessimists Can Too, sug-gests writing down three good things that happen to you each day. This will help show you that positive outcomes are actually a daily occurrence.

COURAGEHaving guts – whether it’s mak-ing a bold financial investment, speaking out against wrongdo-ing, or asking someone out on a date – often means the differ-ence between success and fail-ure in life. Behavioral scientists have found that brave people follow a distinct pattern that you too can try when confronted by a challenge: calm down; ensure you’re well prepared; seek to reduce your risk/increase your odds of success; stay focused; and remind yourself of what’s at stake.

HOW YOU CAN

IMPROVE ON SPECIFIC TRAITS

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Maybe it’s no longer stylish to wear the skins of the animal you just slew. And your family has probably traded in its starter cave for something with indoor plumbing and heating by now. But delve deep into the human psyche – past the superficial layers of civilization – and you’ll discover a caveman or -woman still lurking around inside.

Believe it or not, the brain you’re us-ing today is the same model used by your cave-dwelling ancestors. It may have learned to do things they’d nev-er have dreamed of – like discussing the relative merits of Edward versus Jacob with your teenage daughter – but the essential engineering and most of its basic functions remain unchanged. Since the old humdinger was never designed for the more novel needs of modern life, it often recodes these needs to run accord-ing to its primitive programming. This means that how you think, feel, and act is frequently adapted to fit your brain, not the other way around.Case in point: the flight-or-fight response, which is primed to pump you full of stress hormones and divert blood and oxygen to key muscles at a moment’s notice. Its original purpose was to help your ancestors battle and evade predators. But unless your next-door neighbor has a drooling, teeth-baring dog named “Killer,” marauding animals

probably don’t figure much in your daily life. Instead, the hair-trigger flight-or-fight response now gets set off by things like spats with a spouse, pressures at work, and personal pet peeves. Yet your brain still reacts to these often trivial nuisances as though you were face to face with a deadly threat. The ensuing rush of stress hormones can depress your immune system, bulk you up with fat, and tax your heart.Then there are emotion memories. These are somatic markers so power-fully imprinted on your psyche by a traumatic or otherwise memorable event that the mere subconscious recollection of it activates feelings and incites behaviors you’re often not aware of.

Way back when, emotion memories helped your ancestors stay alive in a hostile environment. If they en-countered someone or something that inflicted pain or caused them hardship, their brains automatically encoded that experience so they could preemptively flag similar situa-tions and be on the alert (e.g., “Note to self: don’t approach saber-toothed tiger cubs, no matter how cute they look”).Nowadays, however, emotion memo-ries often create more problems than they avert. Say a bratty redhead

bullied you as a kid. As an adult, you may find yourself feeling antagonistic toward people with red hair, even though your conscious mind says it’s ridiculous and your prejudice leads to embarrassing social blunders.One emotion memory that’s encoded in every human being and dates all the way back to prehistoric times is the need to belong. If you were a caveman or -woman and found your-self left out of the group, you were pretty much doomed. Being part of a tribe of fellow hunter-gatherers meant finding a mate, staying in a cozy cave, sharing food, and generally feeling safe and taken care of. Consequently, the human brain was programmed to make individuals long for social connection at almost any cost. That’s why feeling rejected by other people stings so badly and why everyone from soccer fans to criminal gangs to social cliques demonstrates such fervent loyalty to their group.In fact, science suggests any univer-sal trait that spans cultures and eras probably arose out of real evolution-ary needs. Even characteristics widely regarded as negative – paranoia, fear of change, laziness – make perfect sense when seen from this perspec-tive: after all, the first human beings had to be on constant guard, play it safe, and conserve energy if they wanted to survive. So the next time you feel the urge to call someone a Neanderthal or trog-lodyte, bite your tongue. Remember: you still belong to the same tribe.

STUCKSTONE AGE

IN THE

Humans no longer need to fear the saber-toothed tiger or eke out an existence as hunter-gatherers. But try telling that to your brain.

Read “Managing with the Brain in Mind” to learn how human beings’ primitive impulses for belonging and security influence their on-the-job behavior. Log on to Plan-it Health and go to “Healthy Relationships” under “Healthy Living.” Then, click on “Relationship Tools” on the left-hand menu to access this fascinating article.

“In fact, science suggests any universal trait that spans cultures and eras probably

arose out of real evolutionary needs.”

Curious to know how your hunter-gatherer brain is faring in the ultra-modern setting of today’s workforce?

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ADDICTED TO ANGERWHY DOES GETTING MAD FEEL SO GOOD?

Everybody has their own form of self-medication: drugs, alcohol, Häagen-Dazs. But the preferred pick-me-upper for a lot of people, according to many mental-health experts, doesn’t require either a shady dealer or a refrigerator. It’s getting mad.Anger brews a potent cocktail of chemicals in your brain. It releases norepinephrine, a natural painkiller that acts to quell feelings of hurt and distress. At the same time, it secretes epinephrine, a stress hormone that provides a powerful surge of energy to help counter the sense of powerlessness that often provokes rage.

The first stage of the anger response is feeling hard done by. It’s a self-soothing behaviour that lets you tend

to your emotional wounds by doping you up with morphine-like norepinephrine. In his book Healing the Shame That Binds You, abuse survivor and self-help guru John Bradshaw confesses that he would regu-larly resort to self-righteous anger whenever the pain of his past caused him to suspect his wife or his kids were taking advantage of him. He now de-scribes himself as a recovering “rageaholic.”

Stage Two is the exhilarating rush of power that you get from anger-induced epineph-rine – which is even headier if you know how to use it as fuel. It worked well for baseball great Jackie Robinson, who endured terrible racism as the first African-American in the Major Leagues. His opponents soon came to learn that the star second baseman actually played better when he was mad than when he was in a good mood.

The trouble with anger is that, like any addictive drug, it will

eventually come to control you. While the most extreme ex-ample of its destructive power is violence committed in a fit of rage, there’s plenty of other less fatal but still highly nega-tive consequences to unbridled fury. These include fractured relationships, problems at work, and a stress-weakened immune system. So if you’re addicted to anger, do yourself a favor: work on finding healthier ways to process and deal with your thoughts and emotions.

Think you or someone you love may have an anger problem? Log on to Plan-it Health and go to “Health Assessments” on the main page. Click on “Assess Mental Health” and take the “Self-test: Anger Manage-ment.” Then, go to “Healthy Relationships” under “Healthy Living” and click on “Rela-tionship Conflicts” on the left-hand menu for related tools and resources.

“When we are raging … we no longer feel

inadequate and defective. As long

as we can get away with it, our rage

becomes our mood-alterer of choice. We become rage

addicts.”John Bradshaw

Wish there was a drug you could take that would make you feel good without being bad for you? Try human engagement. Having regular, mean-ingful interaction with others will give you a buzz that beats anything Paris Hilton has in her purse.

Here’s why. Neurological science has now established that addictive per-sonalities are deficient in dopamine, the neurochemical that gives human beings their sense of motivation and reward. Many things can contribute to a dopamine imbalance – genetics, diet, environmental agents – but the biggest factor of all is chronic stress.

When someone’s chronically stressed, their dopamine levels shoot up, caus-ing their brain to automatically lower

its receptivity to the neurochemical. This drives many chronically stressed people to seek out dopamine-inducing substances and activities, such as cocaine, gambling, and sex. But if they aren’t able to effectively manage and reduce their stress, their brains won’t produce serotonin, the neuro-chemical that works in conjunction with dopamine to engender a sense of well-being and calm. So no matter how many drugs they take or how much of a dopamine high they suc-ceed in achieving, they’ll never find the relief that they truly crave.

Compare this to the ultimate drug (or anti-drug): human engagement. Ac-cording to addiction experts, the rea-son why recovering addicts so often

find healing within support groups is because being together in community coaxes the release of serotonin like nothing else can. But healthy relation-ships with others do more than just give you a natural high: they also help to emotionally regulate you, provide you with support and a sense of perspective, and make life a whole lot richer and more fun.

À Eager to engage in meaningful relationships with others? Log on to Plan-it Health and go to “Healthy Relationships” under “Healthy Living.” Then, click on “Relationship Tools” on the left-hand menu for related tools and resources.

GET ENGAGED

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Too bad life wasn’t like Hollywood: there, moviemakers get to preview different cuts of their films in front of test audiences to see which ending they prefer. In the real world, if you wish things had turned out differ-ently, you have to settle for counter-factual thinking: imagining alterna-tive scenarios that could’ve played out but that never actually occurred.

Counterfactual thoughts come in three main types: upward coun-terfactuals, in which you picture a better outcome than what hap-pened; downward counterfactu-als, in which you reflect on how things could’ve been worse; and additive counterfactuals, in which you introduce a whole other set of factors into the equation.

Though they’re all about the hypo-thetical, counterfactual thoughts

have very real consequences for your mental and emotional health. Upward counterfactuals are often a downer (“If only I’d been born into a different family”). Downward counterfactuals usually help to lift your mood (“As childhoods go, I could’ve had it tougher; I could’ve been abused”). And additive coun-terfactuals let your mind wander in unexplored directions that can sometimes turn into an intellectual wild goose chase (“Even though I wish we’d never gotten married, I bet we’d be happier together if we’d had kids”). Yet all three kinds of counterfactual thoughts are equally capable of helping or hindering you depending on how you frame them and what emo-tional and cognitive tools you use.

“‘[Counterfactual thinking] seems to help us get a sense of what’s going on, give meaning to our lives, and

get a better perspective on things.’’– Neil J. Roese, psychologist,

Northwestern University

Many of today’s positive-thinking cheerleaders loathe upward coun-terfactuals (Oprah Winfrey once ex-horted her viewers not to “shoulda” all over themselves). But while psychologists advise clients with de-pression or anxiety not to mull over

past failures, most agree that the right kind of upward counterfactuals can actually help people learn from their mistakes and develop more effective strategies for the future.

Nor are downward counterfactu-als without their own downsides. In fact, people trying to justify unhealthy habits or past trauma can be just as drawn to down-ward counterfactuals as people nurturing healthy self-esteem.

Take procrastinators. According to Fuschia Sirois, a researcher at the University of Windsor: “Rather than be admonished by the consequences of their behavior, procrastinators may focus on how outcomes could have been worse but were not, and are therefore able to preserve a positive sense of self.” This, she concluded, encour-ages a lack of self-insight and decreases motivation to change.

So how do you ask “what if” without making yourself feel terrible or making excuses for dumb deci-sions? First of all, be aware of the emotions behind your counterfactual thoughts and disentangle them from what’s truly constructive. Be kind to yourself as you assess the pros of what you did against the potential cons. At the same time, don’t be afraid to imagine how a different course of action may have produced an even better result – so long as you commit to using your insight to help guide you in the future.

Maybe it’s time North Ameri-cans import something else from Asians besides cars and clothing: their perspective on how things will affect them.

Research shows North Ameri-cans have trouble predicting their own feelings, an ability known as affective forecast-ing. Many expect so-called life-changing events such as marriage, a major promotion, or the purchase of a new home to have greater emotional impact

that they ultimately do. This can lead to disappointment and even guilt for not feeling the way they think they’re sup-posed to. Asian culture, on the other hand, encourages people to look at the big picture and not to dwell on highs and lows.

Recently, a Hong Kong-born researcher at Wilfrid Lau-rier University conducted an experiment with Canadians of European descent to see if they could be taught to think more

like Asians. He asked subjects who were excited about an upcoming vacation or party to list all the other things they had going on at the same time – in-cluding such mundane matters as dentists’ appointments and exams. The exercise made them take a more measured view of how events they were eagerly anticipating would ac-tually make them feel, reducing their risk of disappointment.

“If.” It’s the operative word behind many of the biggest, most nagging questions of human existence. Yet exploring life’s countless “what ifs” can be an iffy proposition.

COULDAWOULDASHOULDA

SUNNY, WITH CLOUDY PERIODSHow good are you at forecasting your future emotional state?

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PROCRASTINATORA.K.A. “Time Bandit”

Identifying marks: ÀSays they’ll “do it later” ÀPuts off long-term goals and tasks they find scary or hard; checks e-mail or surfs the Web when they’re supposed to be working ÀCraves immediate gratification; seeks instant feedback and/or results ÀStruggles with anxiety, specifically fear of failure ÀMay have a rebellious streak and dislike of authority stemming from childhood ÀCould be a thrill-seeker who enjoys the rush of doing things at the last minute

Those found guilty of procrastinating are sentenced to:

À List daily goals and tick them off. Seeing you’re getting things accomplished will provide a real sense of satisfaction. À Estimate how much time it’ll take to do something – and multiply that by two. Work backwards from your schedule to ensure you have enough time to get the task done. ÀBreak the task down into smaller parts. Ask yourself: “Is this so difficult or boring I can’t do it for 15 minutes?” À Force yourself to do the task for just 15 minutes. Once you get started, you’ll get into the groove and it will feel easier. ÀReward yourself with something you enjoy when you finish.

Reward offered: ÀReduced stress and anxiety; a stronger immune system; improved relationships with friends, family, co-workers, and employer

COMPULSIVE DOUBLE-CHECKER Known aliases: “O.C. Dee”

Identifying marks: À Is deeply insecure; struggles with anxiety À Thinks if they check one more time to assure themselves they’ve locked the door or turned off the stove, they’ll relieve their anxiety ÀCauses their memory to blur, making it more difficult for them to remember if they’ve actually done something ÀHas other family members who are also compulsive double-checkers

Those found guilty of compulsive double-checking are sentenced to:

ÀRead Getting Control: Overcoming Your Obsessions and Compulsions by Lee Baer and When Once Is Not Enough: Help for Obsessive-Compulsives by Gail Steketee and Kerrin White. ÀSeek professional help if compulsive double-checking is disrupting your life.

Reward offered: ÀGetting your life back

THESE THREE SUSPECTS ARE WANTED FOR POTENTIALLY HARMFUL PSYCHOLOGICAL BEHAVIOR & DISTURBING THE PEACE – THEIR OWN PEACE, THAT IS. DON’T BE AFRAID TO APPROACH THEM: WHILE THEY MAY BE ARMED WITH EXCUSES, THE ONLY REAL DANGER THEY POSE IS TO THEIR WELL-BEING.

DANGEROUS MINDS

HOARDERA.K.A. “Pack Rat”

Identifying marks: ÀHas difficulty parting with possessions they no longer need (e.g., magazines so old they say “David Hasselhoff: Sexiest Man Alive” on the cover) ÀCould also be a procrastinator who simply postpones going through their things ÀMay have depression and/or anxiety; doesn’t have the emotional stamina to sort or worries they’ll inadvertently junk something useful or precious À Is passionately attached to their possessions; has likely experienced a lack of affection early on and come to rely on “stuff” – rather than themselves or their relationships – for their sense of identity and self-worth ÀHas other family members who are also hoarders

Those found guilty of hoarding are sentenced to:

ÀStop setting aside items to deal with later. Decide right away whether to sell, donate, discard, or keep them. If you’re really unsure, store the item. If you don’t use it within a year’s time, throw it out or give it away.

ÀAsk someone you like and trust but who’s also objective to help you decide what to get rid of and what to keep. ÀHold onto only those items that have the most meaning or value. For instance, instead of saving every newspaper you ever bought, cut out articles you’re interested in. ÀShow and talk about items that have emotional resonance with family members so that their significance doesn’t get lost even when the object itself is gone. ÀSeek professional help if hoarding is disrupting your life.

Reward offered: À Less clutter, inducing a greater sense of calm

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WHAT IS IT THAT ENABLES SOME PEOPLE TO RISE FROM VICTIM TO SURVIVOR?

Have you experienced abuse or neglect at some point in life? Log on to Plan-it Health and go to

“Mental/Emotional Health” under “Healthy Living.” Then, click on “Trauma & Abuse” on the

left-hand menu for related tools and resources.

I WILLSURVIVE

Forget that reality show in which bikini-clad contestants go on treasure hunts and eat creepy-crawlies as their “challenges.” A true survivor – someone who’s stared down real pain and privation – faces far tougher challenges than that.

How tough? A recent study of the brains of people who’d committed suicide uncovered significant alterations to their genetic code, specifically the program-ming of the region that regulates mood. Scientists were able to correlate harmful experiences in the deceased subjects’ lives to the onset of these changes, provid-ing compelling evidence that adversity is powerful enough to transform even DNA.

So it’s all the more impressive, then, when someone who’s been abused, neglected, or victimized in some way rises above their circumstances to lead a fulfilling, self-aware life. And it hap-pens all the time. Indeed, despite the latest research findings, human beings demonstrate an incredible capacity for overcoming adversity. There’s even a whole subset of psychology devoted to this ability, which is known as resiliency.

Being resilient doesn’t come cheap. Resilient people do struggle with what happened to them and wonder “Why me?” but refuse to let that define them. They commit to taking care of themselves and working to heal their wounds – know-ing full well the scars will still remain.

But these real-life survivors must overcome more than just the burden of their past: they also have to overcome what society tells them about their experience. Steven Wolin, a psychia-trist who specializes in resiliency, calls

it the “damage model”: that if you’ve been raised in a dysfunctional house-hold, you’re permanently damaged and therefore doomed to a life of misery and pain – or so conventional wisdom says.

In fact, this just isn’t true. Most people with an alcoholic parent don’t become alcoholics; most children of people who are mentally ill don’t develop a mental illness; and most people who’ve grown up in an abusive environment don’t turn into abusers themselves. Some may be at greater risk for mood disorders and suicide because of epigenetic changes sparked by adversity, but they’re still in the minority: very few people dealing with trauma or other harmful experi-ences ever take their own lives.

“The touchstone of resiliency appears to be self-esteem.”

The touchstone of resiliency appears to be self-esteem. All perpetrators of abuse and neglect try to degrade their victims and make them feel powerless. A resilient person is able to preserve their self-esteem in spite of their would-be victimizer, allowing them to realize they’ve done nothing wrong and never deserved to be abused or maltreated.

Wolin and other researchers investigat-ing resiliency have also found a number of other commonalities shared by true survivors. They know how to be inde-pendent and to set boundaries to protect themselves. But at the same time, they recognize and embrace their inherent need for others. They’re experts at forming rela-tionships with caring, empathetic people – ranging from teachers to friends to, even-

tually, their spouses – who support them and reinforce their sense of self-worth.

In addition, many survivors undergo therapy and learn to use mental and emotional skills to help them increase their resiliency. One technique taught by cognitive behavioral therapy (see page 2) is reframing, a process that seeks to shift the way people think about something from negative and unhelpful to positive and constructive. For example, someone who’s struggling to come to terms with childhood neglect can choose to focus on how brave they were to look after their younger siblings and how they still did well in school rather than dwelling on feeling rejected because their father left them and their mother was always out drinking.

Psychologist Edith Grotberg lists three main pillars that form the basis of the survivor’s strength. If you’ve experienced abuse or neglect yourself or simply want to develop greater resiliency, remind yourself of these and also work to fortify them:

External supports: “I have …”“Strong relationships, structure, rules at home, role models”

Inner strengths: “I am …” “A person who has hope and faith, cares about others, is proud of myself”

Acquired skills: “I can …” “Communicate, solve problems, gauge the temperament of oth-ers, seek good relationships”

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Whole Grain MuesliIngredients: 1/2 cup (125 ml) mixed grains such as millet, buckwheat, oroat grits

1/2 cup (125 ml) cold water

1/2 cup (125 ml) dried fruit such as raisins, figs, or dates or 1 Tbsp (15 ml) honey

1/2 cup (125 ml) milk, yogurt, or kefir

4 medium-sized apples

1/4 cup berries in season

1/2 cup (125 ml) nuts such as hazelnuts, walnuts, almonds, or cashews, coarsely ground or grated

1/4 cup (60 ml) heavy cream

2 Tbsp (30 ml) ground flaxseeds

Soak grains and dried fruit in water overnight. Cover bowl. Next morning, stir in the milk or yogurt or kefir. Thoroughly wash the apples and grate them along with peel and core. Add honey, if desired. Cut fresh berries into pieces and add fruit to muesli. Leave currants and other small berries whole. Cover each portion with ground flaxseed, cream, and ground nuts. Serves four.

Apple Tuna PitaIngredients:1 lb of fresh albacore tuna (or 2 cans of tuna packed in water, drained)

1 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil

2 boiled eggs, cooled to room or fridge temperature

1 large apple, diced, skin on

1 soft avocado, diced

3 Tbsp organic mayonnaise or omega-3 Vegenaise

1 Tbsp of sweet relish, optional

1 lemon

2 pitas, cut in half

If grilling the tuna filet first, coat the tuna with a bit of extra virgin olive oil and then lightly pan grill on medium-high. Once done, shred the tuna into a bowl and let it cool to room temperature. Otherwise, place drained canned tuna in bowl. Chop the boiled eggs and put with diced apple and avocado into the bowl. Add mayonnaise and juice from the lemon until you reach preferred consistency with the apples well mixed in. Scoop mixture into pita pockets and top off with sweet relish. Serves two.

Eating foods high in brain-boosting nutrition will help you be at your best in mind as well as in body. Whole grains stabilize blood sugar levels, giving your brain a steady supply of energy and allowing it to maintain a healthy chemical balance. Nuts, fish, and cold-pressed vegetable oils like olive oil are all bona fide brain foods whose abundance of essential fatty acids has been proven to enhance mental functioning.

foodFOR THOUGHT

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www.cutrust.com 10

TIME toWISE UP

The basic cause of overweight and obesity is easy to explain. A person gains weight when their intake of calories exceeds what they expend through physical activity. So the short answer to losing weight is simple: decrease caloric consumption and increase physical activity.

But as health experts have come to realize, there are no short an-swers to today’s obesity epidemic. Many now acknowledge that the problem actually has more to with human psychology than it does with physiology. Being over-weight or obese erodes people’s self-esteem, making them feel powerless to change. The ensuing guilt and shame traps them in a vicious circle of avoiding others and then turning to food for emotional comfort.

Make health the goalThis vicious circle frequently begins in childhood with cruel name-calling and social ostra-cism. A study published in 2003 revealed that overweight preteens were more likely to suffer from depression and other emotional problems. A similar study con-ducted earlier showed that obese children felt they had a lower quality of life than their peers.

In adulthood, those who are overweight or obese face taunting media images of idealized human bodies, along with unrelenting pressure from society to shape up. People who try to conform to these unrealistic expectations often go on short-term diets or exercise regimens, only to abandon them once they realize that they’re never going to look like the svelte supermodels or

muscle-bound he-men who populate most magazine covers.

“We have to separate goals of improved health from cosmetic goals, which are unattainable for so many,” says Dr. Robert Ross, a physiologist at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario. “We must change people’s expectations. People need to be patient and realize that obesity reduction doesn’t come easy.”

Get with the programThe key is to find the support you need to make the lifestyle changes you already know you must make. That’s where WISE comes in.

This eight-week, telephone-facilitated program differs from traditional approaches to weight loss in that it deliberately shifts the focus from “losing weight” to “increasing well-being.” Many people believe they need to lose weight in order to feel good. WISE takes the view that it’s the other way around: the motivation and strength required to lose weight starts with a sense of feeling good about yourself.

At the heart of WISE is the sup-port you’ll receive from others who share the same challenges and goals as you. Each week, led by an experienced and compas-sionate facilitator, you’ll take part in a teleconference with 12 other people to learn new information, get help if you need it, receive encouragement, and encourage other group members in turn. You’ll also receive online support to help you set and track goals and understand the health ben-efits of the foods you eat.

W.i.S.E.weight-loss in supportive environments

Here’s how the eight-week WISE Chal-lenge works:

ÀSign up for the WISE program (www.cutrust.com) with 11 other co-workers who also want to achieve a healthier weight. There can be multiple teams within a company. À Your team will be competing against other teams from other companies within the Credit Union Benefits Plan. À Each member of the team that loses the most amount of weight in total AND whose individual members lose at least 10 lbs. will receive $200.

Note: Only one winning team will be selected from all the teams competing from companies within the Credit Union Benefits Plan.

PLUS, members of the winning team will each receive an additional $300 if:

À Each team member keeps 10 lbs. off for six months AND their team sustains its total amount of weight loss over the same period of time.

That’s $500 in total that the victorious team’s members can earn.

Winners of the first WISE Challenge will be an-nounced in the next edition of Wellness Files.

Want to learn more about the WISE Chal-lenge or to sign up for the WISE program? Log on to Plan-it Health (www.cutrust.com) and click on “W.I.S.E. (weight loss pro-gram)” under “Workplace Wellness.”

If you weigh more than you know is healthy, you’re not alone. More than 15 million other Canadians also struggle with overweight and obesity. Yet chances are you still feel isolated and even stigmatized by your weight.

LOSE WEIGHT, WIN $$$

Use the power of human connection to help you take control of your weight

AND WIN

To provide you with even more incentive to take control of your weight, Credit Union Benefits Plan is inviting you and your co-workers to take part in its exciting WISE Challenge.

explore

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1. If you’re at work or operating on a tight schedule, set the alarm on your clock. Place the clock where you can easily see it from your seated position.

2. Reduce or turn off any sources of noise over which you have control.

3. Find a comfortable yet solid place to sit (an office chair will do but not a soft couch). Place your feet flat on the floor and don’t cross your legs.

4. Sit up straight and near the edge of your seat so that you remain attentive to the signals coming from your body.

5. Breathe naturally through your nose. Ensure you’re relaxed yet alert.

6. Hold your head up so that your chin is roughly parallel to the ground or floor. Shut your eyes or, if you’re in a setting where that’s not possible, rest your gaze on the ground or floor a few feet in front of you without moving your head.

7. Focus on what’s happening in your body. Begin with your feet and gradually move up, body part by body part, to your head. Stop at each body part and take stock of what you physically feel. Note any tension, sensations, and/or movement.

8. Next, focus on your breathing. Draw your attention for a minute or two to your chest and abdomen as you breathe in and out. Note what’s happening in these regions.

9. Finally, if you have to keep an eye on the time anyway, turn it into a concentration-based exercise. Allow your gaze to shift to the clock and determine how many more minutes you have until time’s up. Silently repeat the number of minutes remaining to yourself: for example, if you have 10 minutes, repeat “10, 10, 10 …” until the time changes; then repeat “9, 9, 9 …” and so on. Coordinate your mantra with your breathing, so that you repeat the number as you inhale and exhale. Or, if you prefer, choose a calming word to be your mantra instead.

10. As you end your meditation, take a moment to stop and reflect on how you feel. Use your increased mindfulness to plan and act with real purpose for the rest of your day.

COMFORT

ZONECreate your own oasis of calm in the midst of everyday chaos

Stuck in a rut or beset by stress and anxiety? You can free your mind by practicing meditation. This ancient technique helps you get in touch with yourself and achieve a powerful state of heightened awareness and clarity known as “mindfulness.”Here’s a simple meditation exercise that you can do virtually anywhere you are so long as you have 10-30 minutes of uninterrupted time to yourself.

Are you stressed out and in need of a breather? Log on to Plan-it Health and click on “Immediate Reduce Stress Exercise” on the left-hand menu of the main page for a guided deep-breathing exercise that can help to instantly alleviate your stress.

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LOSE WEIGHT & WIN $500 CASHEMPOWER YOURSELF FOR SUCCESSFUL WEIGHT LOSS

weight-loss in supportive environments

W.i.S.E.

A TEAM APPROACH TO BECOMING SMOKE FREE

Q.W.I.T.quit within interactive teams

Produced and designed by Wellness Factors. Publisher: Vic LeBouthillier; Writer/Editor: Sabitri Ghosh; Art Director: Karen Halun

Contributing Editors: Dr. Eric Kuelker, Ph.D. and Darcy Kuhl, MSW, RSW

Register now for the October session by visiting WISE and QWIT located on the homepage of Plan-it Health (www.cutrust.com).

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