alive magazine
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ALIVE Magazine where women empower, inspire and connectTRANSCRIPT
1
Autism
Where entrepreneur women connect, learn, identify and achieve their true purpose.
Volume 4 , Issue 4
Interview with Brenda Russell
Girlfriend Getaways
Your Kids Are Not Stupid!
2 ALIVE April 2011
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An unforgettable experience designed to help you take your
business and your life to the next level!
Discover Your Genius
Goal Setting - A Must for Continued Success
Branding 101
Profit or Non-profit Which is Best for Me?
How to Establish Business Credit
Successfully Marketing Your Business
The Importance of Strategic Planning
Business Plan Development
Investors or Loans — Which is Best For Me?
Take advantage of the opportunity to network, build alliances and lasting
One Life To Live – From Dreams To Reality
Small Business Leadership Conference
2012 National Tour
What you will gain
Completed business plan
Brand/Identity Package
6 hours of coaching
Annual Membership to Imminent Evolutions
Session Themes
So You Want To Start A
Business
Business Structure &
Establishing Your
Professional Services
Identifying Your Niche to Securing Your Funding
For Additional Information:
ALIVE Magazine
(972) 591-1340
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Non-profit and professional organi-zations that desire to host the con-ference contact our offices for more
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Discounts provided for 3 or more registrations from the same organi-
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4 ALIVE April 2011
Advertise with Us!
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INSIDE ALIVE
Letter to the Editor
Ask the Coach
Cover Story: Living Through Au-
tism: The Story of Grant
Entrepreneur of the Month: Bar-
bara Ware
One Life to Live
Without Loyalty the Very Fabric of
Business Unravels by Shiketa
Morgan
10 Strategies for Making a Plan of
Action and Milestones by Ivy N.
Carter, MBA
Girls Rule: All Talk Girl Radio
Inside with Brenda Russell
Spring’s Latest Designer: Thom-
as Lavone
In the Eyes of the Victim: The Sto-
ry of Dawn-Marie Wesley by
Daood Obaid
Your Kids are Not Stupid! by Ro-
drick Walters
Girlfriend Getaway: N.Y.C.
The Birthing Process by Rodrick
Walkers
Vendor Directory
ALIVE Magazine is in its 5th year of circu-
lation. We began as a newsletter shared
with a small network of entrepre-
neurs. The publication has blossomed in-
to a monthly magazine with an internation-
al readership.
ALIVE is for emerging and current entre-
preneurs. With over 25,000 readers,
ALIVE now provides advertising opportuni-
ties on our site! Our media kit details
readership and advertising rates.
5
Greetings to You, We are very busy at ALIVE and are very excited about the things that will take place in 2011. We are remaining focused on our goal – providing a publication – Where entrepreneur women con-nect, learn, identify and achieve their true pur-pose. As I continue to coach women to move into their purpose, teach them to strategically position their businesses for growth and identify and develop products, I am honored that I am able to influence so many women. I am also excited to announce that we have a glob-al partnership with Women Entrepreneurs of Amer-ica Inc. headquartered in Indianapolis, IN as well as Council of Elite Women Entrepreneurs head-quartered in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. Both partnerships allow for their members to receive savings on ad-vertising and subscriptions as well as the business consulting services of our sister organization – The Savane Group. I have been invited to be the keynote Speaker for the Women Entrepreneurs of America Inc.’s 8
th
annual convention. I hope to see you there.
You have spoken and we have heard you – while we were updating the site with articles for the month, there were many that still wanted the maga-zine-style. We encourage feedback and are glad to share that we are now offering the publication as a print on demand publication. We are glad to an-nounce that our publication is now available as a print on demand publication. We are also finalizing the details to become a subscription based publica-tion June 1, 2011. Women-owned businesses had $1.2 Trillion in 2007 – not million but trillion – and that was four years ago. The numbers have no doubt increased. Women – we must realize our position and weight in this economy. It is time to acknowledge that po-sition and take responsibility by not only being business owners but reach one, teach one by building synergies, empowering other women and truly supporting these businesses. If you want to join this initiative, I encourage you to contact me directly via email [email protected]. April is also Autism Awareness month. While our family was blessed with a completely healthy daughter a year ago this month, there are many families that face the challenges of autism. ALIVE wants to bring awareness to autism and provide a voice for families that are affected by it. In an effort to make sure we continue to meet and hopefully exceed your needs, we ask that you take the brief survey to help us meet our mission. Please FRIEND us on Facebook – www.facebook.com/alivemagazine and FOLLOW us on TWITTER at www.twitter.com/alivemag. To a life empowered,
B. Adamson B. Adamson Editor in Chief
6 ALIVE April 2011
Dear Coach, I have read a few articles about ‘coaching’ and have a few friends that have hired a coach. What can you tell me about the purpose and benefit of hiring a coach? - Joseph, Boston, Massachusetts Dear Joseph, To answer your initial question, coaching is one of the leading tools that highly-effective, successful people use to create and sustain a life that is eve-rything they want and need. Through regular, coaching sessions via telephone, a coach sup-ports, challenges, coaches and serves as a sound-ing board for his/her clients to identify priorities, align their values with their actions, develop effec-tive strategies for attracting what they want and make progress towards major life goals at an ac-celerated pace. Even those who are at the top of their game have the potential to get better when they have someone focused on them, pointing out the things they can-not see, encouraging and challenging them to stretch beyond their comfort zone. Individuals work with a coach because they are serious about their personal growth, maximizing their potential, and living the life they were born to live. The differ-ence between working alone and working with a coach is that a coach is trained to listen in a way that generates questions and options that will help you get to the core of your innermost values and desires quickly. Here are some other reasons you may work with a coach:
You want to expand or renew your vision for your career.
You are ready to enrich your personal life or find more of a balance between it and your pro-fessional life.
There is a dream that you have yet to bring to reality.
There is a transition you have been wanting to make.
What are the benefits?
To decrease your stress level without compro-mising your success level
To make deliberate, focused decisions and actions (through our sessions together, your goals and
desires become clear)
To have more positive, productive energy (when working with a coach, you are continual-ly moving forward)
To reach for more in life ... much more (as your coach, I will help you create the space in your life to do so)
To uncover your purpose and better use your natural gifts and talents
To strategize and plan so that you attract what you want most in your life
Dear Coach, I was not very successful last year and I want to be sure that I am successful in 2010. What are some things I can do to be successful before year’s end? - Rebecca, Chicago, IL Dear Rebecca, Thank you for your email. As we are all aware, time waits for no one and it is refreshing to read when individuals are desirous of improving their lives. While you may not have accomplished as much as you desired last year, we encourage you to cele-brate your successes. Realize that you still have time to identify and accomplish goals in 2010. Develop Your Hot List Rather than a TO DO LIST, I encourage my clients to develop a HOT LIST – these are items that MUST be accomplished immediately. These are tasks that can be completed relatively quickly – in 3 to 5 business days. Identify an Accountability Partner or Hire a Coach An accountability partner is someone that, like you, has goals that he/she wants to attain by year’s end. Your accountability partner holds you responsible for attaining the goals you identified while being a support and champion. A coach works in the same way – providing insight, encouragement and ener-gy as you complete your HOT LIST. Remain Focused In the mornings before the telephone begins ring-ing and the blackberry starts blinking, take 30 minutes to an hour at the start of your day to work on your HOT LIST. By remaining focused on your HOT LIST you will get much accomplished rather than multi-tasking throughout the day.
Ask the Coach
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Ask the Coach
Celebrate your successes Celebrating your successes could be as simple as enjoyable as reading your favorite magazine, to scheduling a massage. Celebrate in a way that keeps you motivated to continue. We wish you much continued success! A business and life strategist, Ms. Adamson coach-es entrepreneurs and professionals to identify prior-ities and align their values and actions while devel-oping effective strategies to make progress toward life goals. She also speaks on the topics of empow-erment, diversity and business/life coaching. Ms. Adamson can be contacted at [email protected]. Dear Coach, I will be graduating from college in May. I have interned at the same company for the past 3 summers and have been offered a great posi-tion within the organization. I believe that this is an excellent opportunity with high visibility and growth opportunities. How do I select a mentor? - Monique, Sacramento, California Congratulations on completing your degree. Many new college graduates beginning their career are interested in knowing how to establish and facilitate a successful mentor/mentee relationship. Below are a few characteristics you should seek to identify with potential mentors. Remember this is not a complete list, but definitely characteristics you should take into consideration.
Wants to mentor another employee and is com-
mitted to the employee’s growth and development and cultural integration.
Has the job content knowledge necessary to
effectively teach a new employee significant job knowledge.
Familiar with the organization’s norms and cul-
ture. Can articulate and teach the culture.
Demonstrates honesty, integrity, and both re-
spect for and responsibility for stewardship.
Demonstrates effective communication skills
both verbally and nonverbally.
Willing to help develop another employee
through guidance, feedback, and occasionally, an insistence on a particular level of performance or appropriate direction.
Willing to communicate failures as well as suc-
cesses to the mentored employee.
Able to spend an appropriate amount of time
with the mentored employee. Open to spending time with diverse individuals who may not share a common background, values, or goals. Dear Coach, What is branding and why is it important to my business? - Lilly, UK Dear Lilly, Greetings to our UK readers and thank you for question. Your brand is your most valuable asset. Your brand is your reputation, what your organization stands for and the perception of your business from the rest of the world. Branding is a business decision, whether you real-
ize it or not. In a thought, branding is the manage-
ment of perception. How do we manage this per-
ception? This perception is managed by identifiers,
attributes and associations. Successful manage-
ment is a mixture of what we want working in con-
junction with the perception of our customers.
How do you want people to remember you and
your business? We have all heard “She does great
work but…” We don’t want a “BUT” in our brand.
Instead we want individuals to share that she is
very dedicated to her clients AND she always deliv-
ers.
For example, if you are an event consultant and
want potential clients to believe your organization is
elegant, you must demonstrate elegance in all that
you do.
As you develop your brand, remember perception
is not only about what is read, but also what is
heard and seen. Branding includes everything
from your business name, logo and tag line to your
elevator pitch, voice mail message and business
cards. To learn more about developing consisten-
cy in your brand please contact us at
Contact Brandy Adamson at [email protected].
8 ALIVE April 2011
Autism is a general term used to de-
scribe a group of complex develop-
mental brain disorders known as Per-
vasive Developmental Disorders
(PDD).
It is estimated that one in every 110
children is diagnosed with autism,
making it more common than child-
hood cancer, juvenile diabetes and
pediatric AIDS combined. An estimat-
ed 1.5 million individuals in the U.S.
and tens of millions worldwide are af-
fected by autism.
- Autism Speaks, 2011
For Stacey and Signee’ having a family was the icing on
the cake for their love affair. They wanted nothing more than to have the life that millions of other people have, with healthy active children. Their plans for a family came true. They gave birth to their first son, Grant who seemed healthy and had a smile that made heart melts. Unfortunately, when Grant was 10 months he had viral menin-gitis, just two months before he was to receive his 12 months vaccinations. And that is when they noticed that he was chang-ing. Shortly after the contracting of meningitis, an inflammation of the membranes (meninges) surrounding your brain and spi-nal cord, usually due to the spread of an infection, he stopped talking as much and his development started to regress. He had lost some progress and milestones that he had achieved and suddenly started having multiple ear infections within a short timeframe. Grant never had one prior to the meningitis. Stacey and Signee’ noticed that Grant just wasn’t the same child any longer. He didn’t walk until he was about 17 months old. And as a result of the changes the couple saw they decid-ed to, after consulting with his pediatrician, to visit the state’s early childhood intervention program, Sooner Start. “At that time, we didn’t know what was wrong with Grant but we knew we couldn’t sit idly by knowing that he wasn’t responding
Living Through Autism:
The Story of Grant or developing like he once was,” says Stacey. “After we consulted with Grant’s pediatrician and the representatives at Sooner Start, we had a plan, figure out what was wrong with our son.” Stacy and Signee’ began seeking support and intervention for Grant when he was 18 months but didn’t find out that he was autistic until he was four and a half years old. Devastated that their son wouldn’t be able to live a normal life, Stacey and Signee’ became advocates of autism. “My wife and I have become local advocates for children with special needs. We are passionate about it,” says Stacey. “I serve as a president of the board of directors for a state wide Non-profit Advocacy Network for Citizens with Developmental Disabilities and my wife serves on our local school district’s special needs task force and the State of Oklahoma Task Force for Insurance Mandates. She is also the volunteer coordinator for the annual SAS It Up! (Supporting Autism Socially) fashion show.” The SAS It Up! Fashion show benefits autism programs here in the Tulsa community. Signee’ is also actively in-volved in a small local network of African-American moms who have children with autism, of which she helped creat-ed. These moms meet for lunch, when their schedules al-low, and use one another as sounding boards. They dis-cuss the best schools for our children, medical providers and medication and just support one another. Oftentimes the supporting parent of an autistic child is the wife but Stacey is very active in his quest to be informed and supportive of increasing awareness of autism. As a married couple, they attend a parent support group regular-ly where they laugh, cry and share stories with others who are facing the same challenges. “My wife and I wear an autism lapel pin everyday to foster constant conversation and awareness about autism,” says Stacey. “We’ve also traveled to our state capitol to stump for a bill regarding insurance for children with autism.” For this couple the face of autism isn’t much different than most faces. It’s diverse, beautiful, funny, bright, innocent, intriguing, unique, and represents a true learning opportuni-ty. It’s confusing, challenging, and scary, promotes uncon-ditional love, fosters acceptance, encourages a more inti-mate relationship with the loved one that is affected by au-tism and is a life long journey.
9
Autism represents an opportunity for a lifetime of teachable moments for everyone it touches. It teaches people how to live life for today, to cele-brate the small victories and appreciate the gifts that each person possesses. Not everyone on the autism spectrum is the same. “If you meet a person with autism, then you’ve met one person with autism. Autism doesn’t define a person; it’s a disorder that a person lives with,” adds Signee’. Stacey and Signee’ have learned that autism is not a death sentence. For them it has made life more meaning-ful. They call Grant their blessing. Their volunteer work with autism has helped them grow as people. They have made it their responsibility to get in-volved in the fight for children with special needs at the local and state legislative level in matters that help provide a better quality of life for children with autism. Their staff allows them the flexibility to vol-unteer at Grant’s school, take him to therapy or spend time fighting for children’s rights regarding autism. While there are many life changing challenges to
raising a child with autism, Stacey and Signee’ are grateful. The couple agrees that their 20 year mar-riage has been strengthened and has taught them how to truly love unconditionally. For them, their life has become more meaningful and a blessing. They take every day to thank God for their family and their supportive network of friends. Although Grant may never be able to self sufficient, Stacey and Signee’ accept that and are fully prepared to try and meet the challenges life may bring their way.
“We know there will be long days ahead but we remain opti-mistic and we con-tinue to pray for Grant’s recovery,
because he is improv-ing,” adds Stacey. “We’ll do whatever we can to give him the best life possible and we truly believe that God won’t put anymore on us than we can bear.” For Stacey and Signee’, being a parent to Grant is a blessing. They don’t take for granted that raising an autistic child is hard work but their increase in patience, passion and caring ability are attributed to Grant. They know it takes special people to raise and care for people with special needs. In fact, Grant is a straight-A student and plays the cello. ALIVE
Behind L to R: Stacey and Signee’. Front L to R: Grant and Garrett
For Stacey and Signee’, being a parent to Grant is a
blessing.
10 ALIVE April 2011
AUTISM What you can do to support the movement to heighten autism aware-ness:
Learn the common signs asso-ciated with autism. Early Inter-vention is the key in helping children with autism improve their quality of life. As a family member or friend, you may be the difference in recognizing the signs earlier rather than lat-er.
If you have a normal school aged child in the home, sit down and tell them about au-tism. Explain to them how im-portant it is to treat any child with autism like they them-selves would want to be treat-ed. Encourage them to sup-port that child by letting them know they have a friend they can count on. (We’ve educat-ed our other son, Garrett about autism and at age 7, he too is spreading the word to his friends about autism.)
If you’re out in public and see a parent struggling with a child who you believe may have au-tism, ask them if you can help, instead of judging them and walking away.
Stacey and Grant
Grant, 13
Featured Story
11
Autism Awareness
Entrepreneur of the MONTH—Barbara Ware
Reason. Season, Life-time. From our days at Lowell I had much re-spect for Barbara. Al-ways a welcoming smile – even now; as young girls, always getting a check from the teacher for, usually does not re-frain from unnecessary talking, we built a friend-ship that has lasted nearly all of our lives.
One thing I always knew – she was always going to do great things. I had the privilege of sitting down with Barbara to ask her about her business endeavors with Scentsy, a direct selling company that sells wick-less candles and other home decorum needs. Brandy A.: Barbara, we come a long way… from Lowell to Whitman to high school, college and now adulthood. What is it like being a woman that can manage a career, a business and family? Tell me, why and when you started your own business? Barbara W.: I decided to start my Scentsy busi-ness for purely selfish reasons in the beginning. I simply needed to feed my own Scentsy habit! I in-advertently found out about the safety aspects of Scentsy when my toddler broke my personal warm-er, spilling wax everywhere - yet remaining un-harmed in the process! It was then that I discov-ered what I believe is one of Scentsy's most unique characteristics - safety. The Scentsy wax warms just to body temperature and is never hot when properly used with the Scentsy warmer. B. A.: Your business is quite successful. How do you balance the demands of your business and expectations of your family? B.W.: Scentsy has become our family business. Everyone pitches in to help! My kids get so excited when UPS delivers the Scentsy shipments! Scentsy allows you to choose how much or how little you put into your business. I have personally met many women who were able to leave their full time careers behind and pursue their dream of en-trepreneurship with Scentsy. B.A.: What are your business goals for 2011?
B.W.: My personal goal for my Scentsy business in 2011 is to share this opportunity with other women who are looking for ways to earn extra income and to grow my team to at least ten (currently we are a team of four). B.A.: As a candle lover and avid burner, I do like their idea of the wickless candles – especially on those days that I leave, get five minutes down the street and have to turn around because I can’t re-member if I blew out the candle. B.W.: That was always my struggle blowing out the candle! Scentsy is the only product we can use that doesn't cause complications for her breathing or our allergies. B.A.: What is the philosophy of the company? B.W.: To evoke a memory, enliven the senses and inspire the soul. Which I believe sums up my per-sonal philosophy as well. B.A.: We are excited to be hosting an online party for Autism Awareness Month. We are encouraging our readers to purchase the Autism Speaks™ warmer.
B.W.: Abso-lutely! Giving back is very important to Scentsy and the compa-ny’s founda-tion will give a portion of all proceeds of the Piece by Piece warmer to Autism Speaks.
B.A.: Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to interview with us. We also look forward to seeing the results of our online party! To learn more about Scentsy please contact Bar-bara Ware, Independent Scentsy Consultant, at 918.261.5783, via email at [email protected] or online at thescentware-house.scentsy.us. ALIVE
12 ALIVE April 2011
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One Life To Live Living Life by Design, not by Default - Out of Strength and Into Power. I believe that when we have clarity of our purpose and we make the decision to walk in our purpose, at that moment, we are provided with everything and everyone to make it possible. It begins with us having faith and then taking the first step. As we step into our purpose, there is a reinvention, a repositioning that takes place. This occurs in all facets of life - not just in business. During this time, we will have a 'housecleaning.' This housecleaning isn't always comprised of drastic happenings. It’s funny that some of our cleaning takes place without any action on our part - people distance them-selves while others, that may have been in the shadows for years move into the light. A challenge or situation is cleared from our path; the right op-portunities present themselves and are made avail-able to us. While some of this may shock us, may hurt us, re-member that most will put a smile on our face, and provide an inner peace and warmth in our hearts that we have never before experienced. This time will also provide growth and an opportunity for a renewed sense of self as we move into and begin living our purpose. What do we do at this point? I would suggest the following: Write down your purpose You can type it, write it, get it printed, put it on a t-shirt or coffee mug just as long as you KEEP your written purpose at the forefront of your mind. With every decisions and choices you make keep your purpose in mind. Doing this will contribute to your success and your results powerful. Identify your coach A coach is not your mother telling you what to do. A coach provides guidance and insight and is a sounding board for you. It’s important that you and your coach vibe - not possess the same purpose or even see eye to eye on everything – but has a vibe that allows for either of you to have a difference of opinions, which is healthy. Your coach will help maintain objectivity when you stray from your pur-pose.
Develop your strategic plan Work with your coach to develop your strategic plan. Yes, you will have A LOT you want to accom-plish, that is normal, but you can't do everything in the first 60-120 days – it’s impossible to do it all and do it with the excellence you desire. Pace yourself. Prioritize and cluster tasks. Again, your coach will be integral part in developing your plan, as well as keeping you accountable for reaching your deadlines. Set aggressive yet realistic goals When we hear or read the word aggressive, we get anxious, we think being aggressive lacks grace and femininity. I disagree. Many times, we as wom-en wait months, sometimes years to step into our purpose. We avoid moving into our purpose for any number of reasons/excuses but it boils down to making the decision to stay in our comfort zone rather than beginning the journey to purpose. Since we have already wasted time in our comfort zone its time we be steadfast and aggressive with get-ting on task. Again, be realistic in setting those goals but don't be afraid in setting goals - push yourself! Identify your execution team No, we are not women with superpowers so we need a team. That team should include a coach, as well as individuals that are where you want to be - people walking in their purpose. Your core team is aware of your purposes’ blueprint and that team cannot be made up of just cheerleaders. Begin your walk When you begin this walk, remember you are not alone. This will be an exciting time for you. You will have a renewed sense of self, you will learn more about yourself than you thought you knew, you will laugh, you will shake your head, you will ask your-self - what took me so long to get here? During your walk - journal your travels - you don't have to write a three-page entry daily but you will definitely want to record this journey because you may write a book later in your life. Stop making your purpose wait on you. Get out there and make your dreams a reality because in the end it’s all worth it.
One Life to Live
14 ALIVE April 2011
Business
Without Loyalty the Very Fabric of
Business Unravels
by Shiketa Morgan
You may have noticed that many of the post on this
blog are about doing business with character. I de-
cided to change the theme of this blog to "Doing
business with character," because I believe that
many businesses have failed because of a lack of
character.
It is character that will help you to become a great
business person, not the amount of money that you
make in business. Moreover, you will be known
and respected by the quality of your character.
This week's post is about, Loyalty! In the book,
Character Matters, Mark Rutland wrote: "Loyalty is
the willingness, because of relational commitment,
to deflect praise, admiration and success onto an-
other. Moreover, loyalty will edify and bless its ob-
ject."
Wow! That statement has inspired me to ask my-
self, "Am I truly loyal to my customers and employ-
ees? When was the last time I blessed and edified
a customer or employee?"
Mark Rutland has inspired me to show more loyal-
ty, expect loyalty from my employees and look for
loyalty when I hire new employees. Moreover, to
edify and bless my customers every chance that I
get.
When a customer does repeat business with you,
that demonstrates loyalty and we must return loyal-
ty by being committed to our customers. Also, if a
customer refers a friend, that is loyalty at the high-
est level and it must be honored.
Having loyal employees or team members working
with you is a noble experience. When your team
members or employees are loyal, they give so
much of their gifts and talents.
I recently inspired my staff to get creative in their
classrooms and they delivered, BIG TIME! Their
performance demonstrated loyalty to my business
and I was so humbled. In fact, I was so impressed
by their loyalty that, I went shopping over the week-
end and bought them gifts of appreciation.
This has not always been the case for me; I've had
my share of disloyal customers and employees.
Disloyal employees will only do the bare minimal
and if you fail to motivate the employee to demon-
strate loyalty... it will affect other employees.
Disloyal customers, will complain to other custom-
ers and this is why it is vital that you must model
and express loyalty on a regular basis. Tell your
customers that you are commitment to them and
you want to meet their needs. When they know that
you are loyal to them, they will gladly return a favor
to you by sending more customers.
I hope that you have been inspired to do business
with loyalty in mind and remember...Loyalty is the
fabric that holds your business together! ALIVE
15
10 Strategies for Making a Plan of
Action and Setting Milestones
By Ivy N. Carter, MBA
Whether you are making a plan for your life, your career or business you need to make a plan of ac-tion and milestones in order to stay on tract and reach your goal. Unfortunately, making a plan of action and milestones are not done by everyone and in business this can be detrimental to a project, particularly to a project manager. If you are versed in Six Sigma, then you under-stand the principals of DMAIC Framework, also known as, Define, Measure, Analyze, Improve and Control. This framework is perceived as the funda-mentals of Six Sigma Lean and assists the project manager with defining a plan of action and mile-stones. To add to this theory, here is a list of the 10 strategies for making a plan of action and mile-stones: Understand the project. As a project manager you should do due diligence to understand the pro-ject. You should know if competitors have a similar project in place and how your project can be the best. Competitive analysis helps every project manager, business owner and individual under-stand their strengths and improve on their weak-nesses. Define your mission and vision. If you are a pro-ject manager without a mission or a vision, then you are literally wasting time and energy. To be an effective project manager you must clearly define the mission and vision of the project so that you are able to visualize the completed project and create the project according to the mission. Know who you are. Every good project manager understands their strengths, weaknesses, opportu-nities and threats (SWOT Analysis) and to be effec-tive you have to come to grips with what you may or may not be capable of doing. A plan of action will enable you to delegate tasks that you may not be able to complete… just ask yourself who, what, when, where and how. Commit to the project. if you are not fully en-gaged or committed to the project, then you will not be successful. It is like selling a product that you do not believe in. Your sales will be down because you are not exhausting enough effort in selling due
to your lack of commitment. Commit! Create the plan of action and milestones. Now you are ready to create a plan of action. Remem-ber the plan of action and milestones help identify what you can do and what others can do for you as well as keep you in line. Your plan of action and milestone setting should be realistic. Measure your progress. Measuring your progress is important because allows for you to measure where you are from where you need to be and gives you an opportunity to add to the project or take away from it so that you stay on track. Meas-uring also serves as a tool for you to understand and create best practices. Perform an analysis. It is best to perform an anal-ysis on your progress once you establish mile-stones. Analysis should be performed so you can learn if you have been successful with the forward movement of the project. Typically milestones aid as markers for these analysis phases. Improve where needed. Again once your mile-stones have been developed the improvement pro-cess is easier to adjust. At the improvement stage is where you learn what challenges you had that impeded your progress and establish how you plan to correct those issues. Control your project. The control phase is also in the milestone phase of a project. The control phase allows for the project manager to ensure there are no issues that have gone unchecked since the be-ginning of the project. In order to control your pro-ject you must understand where you are in the pro-ject cycle and should have reached a new level or milestone in the project. Evaluate and recognize achievements. Evaluat-ing your project at each milestone and recognizing achievements establishes a sense of success among your team and for you. Evaluating and rec-ognizing, both done in the milestone setting phase, helps with forward progress and maintains the pro-ject’s deadlines. Being a project manager is not difficult if you take
the time to create a plan of action and milestones
because even the best laid plans can crumble. Re-
member these 10 strategies to help you create a
plan of action and set milestones for a successful
project every time.
Business
16 ALIVE April 2011
17
Girls Rule:
ALL GIRL TALK RADIO
All Girl Talk Radio was founded by Angela (The
Rambunctious Angie) and Tamika (The Conserva-
tive Tika), who are sisters, had an idea to start a
talk radio show that brought something different to
the airwaves. The show is actually compromised
of the founders and friend, Mz. Muse. All Girl Talk
Radio is just that, women getting together to talk
about real life issues from three different perspec-
tives.
It was a vision of Angela and Tamika because they
felt there needed be to a platform for women to
come together and discuss issues that women face
on a daily basis. Angela and Tamika would have
"knock down" "throw down" conversations that
would last for hours, and if someone else was
around they told the two vibrant women, "y’all need
a show'. So the dynamic duo sat down one day
and said that’s it... we're going to do a talk radio
show, thus All Girl Talk Radio was born.
“We decided to do this joint venture be-
cause being sisters it is easier to be open
to discuss life honestly with each other,
which gives our listener real truth not shak-
en or stirred,” shares Tamika.
Just like any family relationships, these
two have had to overcome obstacles being
family and business partners. For All Girl
Talk Radio the biggest hurdle was gather-
ing a fan base. By the end of their first year
their listeners was a mere 10,000 but to-
day that has increased to over 70,000 lis-
teners. Now that's what you call overcom-
ing a hurdle!
Soon the team added a new personality to
the team, Mz. Muse, who replaced one of
the original members bringing the four-
some down to three. And yet another ob-
stacle was being able to work with women
who respect each other. But the benefit of
working as a team is the trust they have for
each other’s opinions. Everyone brings a
different element to the show, three women with
three different personalities.
These ladies realize that everything they see and
everything they use started from an idea or a
dream. Therefore, they offer the advice to others in
the industry to follow their dreams. “If you can
dream it and believe it, then you can live it,” says
Tamika. “Be patient - as dreams are realized over
a period of time and pursue it - as preparation
makes you ready for that window of opportunity.”
All Girl Talk Radio currently airs three days a week
(Monday, Wednesday and Saturday). However, in
2011 they are planning to periodically have special
shows on Sundays that currently does not fit into
their "Monday Madness" and "Pillow Talk" seg-
ments. The show will deliver more of the hot and
saucy topics that impact everyday lives. Topics that
impact our men, women and children. It is real talk,
for real people.
Anyone interested in being a guest should on All
Girl Talk Radio can contact us at book-
Business
18 ALIVE April 2011
19
20 ALIVE April 2011
Available Scholarships:
HIGH SCHOOL
· Scholarships in the amount of $1,000 will be
awarded to qualified Dallas/Ft. Worth high
school seniors who will be enrolled in an accred-
ited undergraduate program in the fall of 2011.
UNDERGRADUATE
· Scholarships in the amount of $1,500 will be
awarded to qualified Dallas/Ft. Worth college
students who will be enrolled in an undergradu-
ate business program in the fall of 2011
GRADUATE
· Scholarships in the amount of $2,500 will be
awarded to qualified full-time graduate/
PhD students.
· Scholarships in the amount of $1,000 will be
awarded to qualified part-time graduate/PhD stu-
dents.
Full and part-time graduate / PhD applicants
must be registered or enrolled in a graduate/
PhD business program for the fall of 2011.
All Applicants must be of African-American de-
cent.
The Dallas/Ft. Worth Chapter of the National Black MBA Association is currently accepting applications for the 2011 Excel Scholarship Competition. To apply, you should be:
A) A graduating senior in high school who will be enrolled into an accredited undergraduate university.
OR
B) An undergraduate, graduate or PhD stu-dent majoring in a business program for the fall of 2011.
Applications will be accepted from March 1st through May 14th.
For more information on how to apply, please
visit our website at www.dfwmbas.org.
2011 EXCEL SCHOLARSHIP
APPLICATION
21
Education
Latest MBA Trends
By Ivy N. Carter, MBA
The business world is changing and because of its
rapid changes higher education institutions are de-
veloping new trends for business professionals to
receive a MBA. The latest trends in MBA have
caused universities and colleges to scramble for
ways to develop innovative and effective ways for
these individuals to receive a MBA that will further
their careers.
If you are at a point in your professional career
where you want to increase your knowledge of the
business world then you should know the latest
MBA trends:
Online MBA programs: When I starting looking into
MBA I knew one thing, I did not have time to go to
a physical campus. For my situation, I knew an
online program was the best option for me to re-
main employed while attending school and raising
two sons. The online MBA program allowed me to
attend school whenever and wherever I wanted,
which was usually at work. I have to admit that the
online program was substantially higher than may-
be attending a traditional university. One caution for
online MBA programs, know the school’s credibility
and accreditation so that you do not waste the
thousands of dollars on an unrecognized degree.
Part-time MBA programs: Part-time MBA programs
are becoming a highly sought trend. This new pro-
gram style allows for professionals to attend a tradi-
tional university while maintaining some form of
employment. Part-time MBA programs are de-
signed to take longer than the 18 months to two
years but they also give students the comfort of
attending school without sacrificing work.
Executive MBA programs: The executive MBA pro-
gram is just that, a MBA program for executives.
This MBA trend is a program that is designed to
challenge owners, C-level executives and other
professionals in upper management positions. The
program is rigorous but rewarding because leaders
receive a more tailored learning program.
Specialization MBA programs: A specialized MBA
program is a program that offers students the op-
portunity to not only receive a MBA but to also re-
ceive a certification or specialization in another ar-
ea of study. These specialized MBA programs are
only good for individuals who want to remain in
their current careers but want to apply business
skills.
Accelerated MBA programs: This trend has slowly
decreased in its popularity because of the fast pace
and extremely difficult course offerings. Accelerat-
ed MBA programs allow students to earn a MBA in
a fraction of the time it would take to complete a
regular MBA programs.
Dual degree MBA programs: Dual degree MBA
program trends are longstanding because students
are able to receive two distinct degrees. Many stu-
dents earn a MBA/MPA, MBA/JD, MBA/MHA, the
list is endless. This particular MBA program is
based at traditional institutions and typically takes
more than three years to complete. Also, the stu-
dent has to be admitted into both programs.
Staying up-to-date with the current MBA trends will
assist you make a wiser decision for your profes-
sional career development. Always check with the
business school of choice to determine the most
popular MBA trend and see if it fits your lifestyle.
For those who are busy then part-time or online
MBA programs may offer more flexibility to com-
plete the program. The dual-degree and special-
ized MBA programs allows you to stay in your cur-
rent field while learning business applications. The
executive and accelerated are tailored for those
students who are executive and able to learn at a
fast pace.
(Previously Published on BrightHub.com)
22 ALIVE April 2011
The soul of a woman is not marked by the
number of accomplishes she has made over
her life but rather the number of obstacles she
has had to endure to get the opportunity to do
far than exceed naysayers expectations. Jazz
performer Renee Marie sat down with Daood
Obaid about her life and challenges in following
her passion for her muse, jazz music.
Daood Obaid: From the inception was it the target
goal of "Voice of My Beautiful Country," of the new
album to embody the diverse interpretations from
Jimmy Heusen's “Imagination”, Dave Bru-
beck “Strange Meadow Lark” among a number of
other great covers, including Jefferson Airplane,
“White Rabbit”. What was the target of your latest
project?
Renee Marie: No, that was not the target goal.
What I was aiming for - and I believe we accom-
plished this - was portraying in a musical context a
reflective honesty about who I am, where I come
from, how I got here and why because where I’m
going is anybody’s guess! It’s been said that we
are all children on the inside and so there is some-
thing magical that happens when one embraces
one’s vulnerability and naiveté. I just wanted to sing
songs that made me feel good about growing up in
this diverse melting pot we call, “America.”
D.O.: The Mid-western club owner story of 2003 is
worthy of reiterating for those fans and newcomers
that haven't had the pleasure of reading about it.
R.M.: For my 3rd
project with MaxJazz, I decided I
wanted to put all original works on it and title it Se-
23
Entertainment
rene Renegade. So, I was composing like a mad-
woman! All kinds of stuff - holding nothing back.
Nothing! Well, as any musician knows, if you com-
pose music it has to be played, right? I mean, you
can’t just rehearse a bunch of new tunes and then
go into a studio to record. Well, you can, but…that
isn’t my style. Things have to be hushed out, so to
speak.
So anyway, we’re on tour, me and my touring band,
Experiment in Truth and one of the gigs was at a
prestigious club where, supposedly the owner typi-
cally didn’t like female vo-
calists. Getting a week’s
date there was a real
“coup”, by music business
standards. Ok, that’s cool.
I’m not so enamored by vo-
calists, either, you know? I
mean, listening to them can
be a real drag sometimes. I’m including myself
when I say this. So, I could dig where the guy was
coming from.
Well, we’re in the club on the first night, first set.
Afterwards, folks are standing in line to purchase
some CDs when the owner of the club walks up to
me and says, “You’re an embarrassment to jazz.
And the stuff you’re playing is turning my stomach.
You’re moving all around the stage… you’re singing
your original songs… nobody wants to hear your
originals! Look around on the wall at all the pictures
of these famous singers - do you think they got
where they did by singing their own songs? No!
You need to stand still and sing the standards the
way they’re supposed to be sung!”
Well! My response was very calm. I said to him, “I
don’t have a clause in the contract about being for-
bidden to sing originals. Are you saying my continu-
ing to sing here the rest of the week is predicated
upon that? (He said no). So I tell you what: I under-
stand you want to make money here and that
you’re afraid folks will be turned off by my set list.
Well, I want to make some money too! But I’m go-
ing to continue with my plan and let’s just see how
things shake out at the end of the week. If we don’t
have a good turnout, I’ll take full responsibility for it.
And if we do, then we’ll know that what I’m doing
isn’t such a bad idea after all.”
I sound real calm at this point, don’t I? Well, I was-
n’t. I was shaken to the core. During the break I told
the guys what the club owner had said and I don’t
recall much positive feedback, if any. The next day,
I was at lunch with two friends whose lines of work
keep them in close contact with jazz musicians and
the music business. Still shaken and dumbfounded
by the previous night’s conversation, I told them
about the upcoming CD, the songs and the club
owner’s response. Then I asked them what they
thought about it. The gist of their response was that
I should just do 1 or 2 originals per set. To fill an
entire set with originals or my own arrangements
was risky and not a good idea. My response was,
“How is it that instrumentalists don’t get any flak for
this but let a singer do it and all of a sudden it’s ver-
boten?”
He taught me how to stand up for myself and become
my own advocate for my creativity and how to follow
through in the face of what may feel like
insurmountable resistance.
24 ALIVE April 2011
Entertainment
I went back to the hotel and collapsed in tears, I
was so frustrated and bewildered. It was at the low-
est point I’ve ever been, musically speaking, where
I lacked confidence in so many things that only 24
hours ago. I thought I was unshakable. I wanted to
call my mother just to hear her reassurance. I want-
ed to call my lover and hear that I was wonderful
and creative but I didn’t because I knew that this
wasn’t going to be the last time I would be tested in
this way and that I needed to go through it - alone -
to find whatever reserves I possessed to enable
me to do what needed to be done. But what was I
going to do? I couldn’t make up my mind. I was so
confused and torn.
The whole afternoon passes and still I haven’t ar-
rived at a satisfying solution. I get ready for the gig,
leave the hotel and walk the two blocks to the ven-
ue. Now I’m standing at the corner - right across
the street from the club - waiting for the crosswalk
sign to change to “walk”. It changes and I step off
the curb; a city bus runs the red light and I’m so
lost in thought that I don’t see it until it whooshes
past me - close enough to make me jump back on
the curb. And that’s when the realization hit me:
what if I go to the club and sing mostly standards
tonight, walk out the club and get hit by a bus
crossing the street? Who’s going to sing the songs
I’ve written? Answer: NOBODY! And that’s when I
said to myself, “Uh-uh, I am not going out like that.
If I die tonight, I want the last song out of my mouth
to be one that I wrote.”
Honey, I walked into that club and we ran it down
and I spoke to the audience in advance about
some of the concerns the club owner had (in much
nicer terms, of course). I explained to them why we
were doing originals and then told them I wanted to
hear their opinions about these originals by way of
email and I gave them my email address and said I
wanted to hear it all, the good, the bad and the ug-
ly.
The upshot of this story is threefold:
First, a critic happened to be in the audience that
night and gave us a fantastic review of our new
work and the set. As a result the crowds grew eve-
ry night and by Thursday, the club was filled to ca-
pacity through Sunday.
Second, I learned to appreciate the owner’s honest
response. Most would have expressed their dis-
taste behind my back and never hired me again.
But I am so grateful to him for having expressed
himself so bluntly and forcefully directly to me. He
taught me how to stand up for myself and become
my own advocate for my creativity and how to fol-
low through in the face of what may feel like insur-
mountable resistance. He did me a huge favor and
I am forever in his debt.
And the third is I was inspired to compose a song
about the entire situation and the conclusions I
reached. I sang the song there at the club when he
invited us back. We just recorded it in January of
this year and have plans to release it by the end of
2011.
D.O.: Even though the objective clearly of "Lift Eve-
ry Voice and Sing/Star-Spangled Banner" was to
not enough to evoke controversy by your account,
but nevertheless the rendition included on the al-
bum and the performance (2008 for the Mayor and
the Denver Community) did more than simple raise
eyebrows - you also received death threats, right?
Another musical situation I got myself into by fol-
25
26 ALIVE April 2011
Entertainment
lowing my muse! The song I sang at the Mayor’s
State of the City Address in 2008 was actually and
A-Cappella rendering of the 3rd
movement of a
suite I wrote in 2007 entitled Voice of My Beautiful
Country. The suite consists of four songs I grew up
loving to sing: America the Beautiful, My Country
„Tis of Thee, The Star-Spangled Banner and Lift
Ev‟ry Voice and Sing.
My arrangement of these songs is a straight-up
reflection of specific facets of American music -
jazz, gospel and blues - yet still retains the same
patriotic lyrics that I learned as a child in my segre-
gated hometown of Warrenton, VA - 40 miles from
our nation’s capital. I composed the music for the-
se songs over a period of 2 - 3 years, finally under-
standing out how I wanted to finish the last move-
ment in early 2008.
After the A-Cappella rendering of the third move-
ment of this suite (a blend of the Star Spangled
Banner melody and the lyrics of Lift Every Voice
and Sing) during the Mayor of Denver’s State of
the City Address, I was excoriated in the press and
over the internet. My motives for singing these two
songs this way became suspect - the more jaded
opinion was that it was done for publicity purposes;
the more violent threatening my physical safety for
not having sung the traditional version of the na-
tional anthem. My love for this country and its citi-
zens was called into question, if not out rightly as-
sailed. I was reviled and accused of being racist
and divisive. Dismayed, but undaunted, I continued
singing this suite, although the death threats were
very real to me; at one point - for about a week - I
delved deeply into the possibility of someone walk-
ing into a club and just opening fire. I still believe
that is a possibility; and I had to ask
myself if I am willing to die for basi-
cally expressing a musical idea. The
answer is, YES.
Despite having grown up in an envi-
ronment of Jim Crow laws, racism,
discrimination and fear of recrimina-
tions, if such institutions were criti-
cized or challenged, it gradually be-
came clear that this suite of four songs was not
sufficient to fully express my love for this country,
its citizens and its music. I wanted to say more.
There was an entire American soundtrack that had
accompanied my development from childhood to
the adult I am today. It could reflect a composite
voice - one person’s composite voice - of this
beautiful country.
The title of the suite comes from the words in the
titles of three of those patriotic tunes: Lift Every
Voice and Sing; My Country „Tis of Thee; America
the Beautiful
I do not want to minimize what a challenge it was
to go through this. With more than 1,600 emails
and at least 100 phone calls (and counting), I re-
ceived tremendous support from folks of all walks
of life and backgrounds. And I endured agonizing
accusations - some from my own relatives - regard-
ing my scruples. I do not regret even one note that
There was an entire American soundtrack that
had accompanied my development from
childhood to the adult I am today.
27
Entertainment
I sang. My only regret is the collateral damage
some in the Mayor’s office experienced when they
were accused of “being in cahoots” with me; and a
singer here in Denver whose name is similar to
mine. She was vilified and lost several of her en-
gagements back then because vindictive people
with knee-jerk reactions didn’t bother to check
even the most basic details.
D. O.: From the days of living under the laws of
Jim Crow with your parents and now a Black Presi-
dent, describe the cultural social perspective as it
relates to music?
R. M.: As an artist, I draw inspiration from every-
thing that happens to me and around me. It just
flows up and out, you know? I don’t like to think
about it too much because that clogs up the crea-
tive channel and any attempts made by others to
get me to think about it are not permitted. I follow
an idea or urge or question that I might have about
something and I don’t put pressure on myself to
have an answer. I simply allow my creativity free
reign. No holds barred, no self-censorship or edit-
ing. Forcing the music to be something or say
something is like faking an orgasm: What good
does that do ME? It’s much better to wait on the
music to tell me where to go and then just go there.
D. O.: Compelling aspects of your story - it’s like
looking at a surrealist painting; and after 23 years
of marriage and never having a professional sing-
ing career until 20 plus 20 years, given an ultima-
tum by your husband, please turn back the clock
as to how this all took place?
R. M.: As a young teenager I sang with an R&B
band, some local guys in the neighborhood. I met
my future husband in this band, a talented and
moody keyboardist. We married when I was eight-
een and both became Jehovah’s Witnesses. We
quit playing music in public as a result. It was 23
years before I sang in public again. During all that
time, I still composed songs at home and sang lull-
abies to my sons and for friends and family at
home and at the weddings of friends, so my musi-
cal instincts were alive and well.
I also owned three jazz albums: Cleo
Laine, Ella Fitzgerald and Sarah
Vaughan. I memorized every song on
those albums and played them con-
stantly over the years, singing out
loud around the house, entertaining
my sons when they were fussy babies
and teaching them some of the songs
as they got older.
Fast forward to 1996 - my oldest son,
Michael, came home from college and
went to a restaurant with friends. he
called me from the restaurant saying
28 ALIVE April 2011
a trio and vocalist was playing there. “She's singing
the same songs you do at home, Mom, and she's
terrible! you should come hear this!” he said. So I
did and along with encouragement from the rest of
the family, including my husband, I started singing
again - just part-time - for little or no pay at first in a
smoky bar at the Ramada Inn with a friend who
had his own quintet and let me sit in with him each
week. And that’s how it started.
Within a year’s time, I had my own group. I was
writing my own charts and rehearsing for a CD I
planned to record. As I’d gotten busier with my mu-
sic, my then-husband had begun to offer much re-
sistance, in terms of abusive speech, accusations
of infidelity, etc. We’d been having problems for
years, but nothing as bad as this and at first
glance, the music seemed to be making things
worse. To be sure, the music was a catalyst for
many things, including newly-discovered courage
to speak my mind. Singing in public was changing
me from a meek, easily intimidated housewife into
an outspoken individual. I was damned if I was go-
ing to be cowered into silence any longer.
On December 30, 1997, the day before I was to
record my very first CD, I was at home making sure
all the charts were in order and getting them ready
for the next day when my husband walked into the
room and gave me an ultimatum. He told me, “If
you want to keep living here, you will cancel tomor-
row’s recording session and all the engagements
you have on the books. You will call and cancel
them tonight - once and for all. And you will forget
all about this singing business. If you go to the stu-
dio tomorrow, don’t come back home.” My immedi-
ate response was, “There is a third option - I can
go to the studio and then come back home be-
cause this is my house too and my name is on the
deed.”
His reply, “If you go to the studio tomorrow and
come back home, you’re gonna have hell to pay.”
It was hard to believe that my husband, who sup-
posedly loved and cherished me, this man i had
fallen in love with, whose sons I had borne and
raised, was standing above me issuing an ultima-
tum. With threatening consequences if I made the
“wrong” choice! I knew things were coming to a
head, but I had no idea he would actually threaten
me.
I asked him, “Are you threatening me?”
His reply, “It’s not a threat, baby. It’s a promise!”
I was speechless. But, it took me about 10 seconds
to make up my mind. I calmly set my charts aside,
stood up, walked to the closet, took out a suitcase
and began to pack. I had made my decision to
leave and he was right - I did have hell to pay. And
in the middle of hell, I panicked, I fought back and
screamed at the top of my lungs and ran for every
door that led outside but he was stronger than I
was.
Later, after we were both worn out, I asked him if
he was through. “Yes,” he replied. So I got up,
packed some of my things and ALL of my music
and left. I was so scared he was gonna come after
me again but I played it cool, like I had no fear. Oh,
I was scared alright. Scared as hell! But I left any-
way. I didn’t know where this was gonna lead, but I
knew I was not coming back.
By January of 1999, I had divorced my husband;
left my religion; produced my first CD,
29
"Renaissance", (under my married name, Rene
Croan); quit my job at the bank; and signed onto
the MaxJazz label.
I have supported myself full-time as a musician
ever since. Rather than being upset or angry, I am
grateful to my ex-husband for the way he present-
ed my options to me; it was forceful, yes, but it cer-
tainly
brought into
focus ex-
actly what I
needed to
do. Just
think: if he
hadn’t done
that, perhaps I would never have had the courage
to prioritize my music. Sometimes we jump on our
own and sometimes we get pushed; either way, we
can fly.
D. O.: Can you talk a little about this musical chap-
ter of your life - how it may differ where you see
yourself moving towards, etc?
R. M.: I don’t like to think in terms of chapters or
phases of my life. All of it - past, present and future
- is just me. I try so hard to stay in the moment and
not think about what’s ahead of me or what’s be-
hind me. Staying in the moment allows me to be
open to what’s happening NOW. I try to avoid out-
planning the universe, you know what I mean? To
have a 3- or 5- or 10-year-plan so defined, so
“locked in”, that I don’t allow room for the universe
to tap me on the shoulder and say, “Excuse me,
Rene, but have you considered…?” or “Rene! …
over here! Look at this path…! This looks like a
good one!” and of course, this tap on the shoulder
comes through other people, other opportunities
that pop-up suddenly, other doors that open that I
didn’t even know were there.
If I have so many goals to reach or a list of all these
things to accomplish, that I have to say “no” to the-
se taps on the shoulder, then I am not living in the
now. I’m living in the “Not Now!”
I did that for 23
years when I was
married and be-
longed to a reli-
gious group. Back
then, I thought that
if I had everything
strategically
planned out, I would somehow avoid what I consid-
ered back then to be “failure”. But it was not failure
to recognize that I needed to be on a different path
than the one I was on. That is progress and growth
and wisdom! When I stay in the now, even if it’s
painful or scary or feels like I’m falling off a cliff, I
know that I am alive; deeply creative and meaning-
ful ideas and feelings can arise from a loss of equi-
librium. So instead of trying to stay balanced I’ve
learned how to walk on shaky ground. It affects my
walk, sure, but I know I’m moving forward! ALIVE
I try to avoid out-planning the universe, you
know what I mean? To have a 3- or 5- or 10
-year-plan so defined.
30 ALIVE April 2011
Fashion and Style
Spring’s Latest Designer: Thomas Lavone
Thomas has interned with Richard Tyler in Califor-
nia. After completing his internship and graduating
in 1999, Thom-
as moved back
to the East
Coast to begin
his freelance
consulting ca-
reer. Thomas'
roster of clients
include: Victo-
ria's Secret,
DKNY, Nautica
Children and
Willie Esco. In
2000 he land-
ed his first po-
sition with
Jones New
York, begin-
ning his profes-
sional career
as a Technical Designer.
In 2001, after garnering a vast experience as a
Technical Designer, Thomas transcended his tal-
ents to private label companies such
as Mamieye Children's Wear, His
International and The Golden Touch
Group. During this time, he contin-
ued to freelance for DKNY, Armani
Exchange, Daisy Fuentes and Anne
Klein. While working as a Senior
Technical Designer for Tommy Hil-
figer, licensed under Russell New-
man, Thomas was inspired to create
his signature line and made the deci-
sion to dedicate himself full time to its
creation.
The Thomas Lavone Collection ex-
ploded at Essex County College in
2001, 2002 and 2003. Thomas was
featured as an upcoming designer at
Madison Square Garden's "Film Festival 2001" and
was interviewed by FOX 5 News. His collection
has also appeared at the Black Expo 2002,
WBLS's Circle of Sisters 2002. He was a featured
designer at "Nabru 2003" in Times Square, where
his line premiered among leading design compa-
nies such as Roca Wear, Indigo Red, Carl Banks,
Azzure and Encye. Thomas came close to achiev-
ing reality television fame when, in 2004, he made
it as a semi-finalist for Tommy Hilfiger's designer
show "The Cut".
Thomas premiered as a designer during DC Fash-
ion Week in February 2006 and 2008. In Septem-
ber 2009, The House of Thomas Lavone placed
2nd in McCafe First Friday Fashion Democracy -
Fashionistas Rule. That same year, Roy Campbell
from America's Next Top Model premiered Thom-
as's line in his "Soul Style" 2009 event in downtown
Wilmington, DE. When asked to describe Thomas
as a designer, Roy stated that, "when it comes time
to build that wardrobe that can take you from the
boardroom to the society luncheon to the ballroom,
this dynamic designer is the man to turn to. I call
him fashion's ultimate mix-master because of his
daring use of color and fabric. He creates bold,
ladylike ensembles that can
make any woman a style
dynamo."
The Thomas Lavone Collec-
tion was displayed during
New Jersey Fashion
Week. Where Mrs. New Jer-
sey 2010 wore one of his
gown and his collection was
also displayed at the Jersey
Garden Outlet Mall. Mr. La-
vone's recent appearance at
the Style Network Show, Jer-
seylicious. which was premi-
ered this Jan 23 and Jan 30,
2011.
31
Fashion and Style
32 ALIVE April 2011
Relationships
In the Eyes of the Victim: The
Story of Dawn-Marie Wesley by Daood Obaid
Teen suicide is on the rise today because teens are falling victim of peer pressure, abusive relation-ships and family issues. Unfortunately, teen suicide is on the rise because of one of the fastest growing trends in today’s society. Bullying. Thousands of kids are looking to suicide as a way to end their suffering. Families are left devastated by the im-pact from a child choosing suicide over being bul-lied. One family knows this situation all to well. Cassidy McMillan, an aspiring film maker sat down with Daooid Obaid to discuss how her life changed to empower and increase awareness about bullying after she met The Wesley family, who lost their 14 year old daughter to bullying. D.O.: “RATS & BULLIES”, is an award winning documentary. What was the inspiration for the sub-ject matter and the inception of this project? C. M.: The subject matter of the powerful docu-mentary film, “RATS & BULLIES” tells the true sto-ry of 14 year-old Dawn-Marie Wesley, who hung herself in her bedroom with her dog's leash, after being bullied and threatened to death by three girls at her high school, whom she named in her suicide note. The horrifying incident outraged a nation, set-ting off a groundbreaking investigation by Canada's Crown, which led to the revolutionary and prece-dent setting court case, where for the first time in a North American court, teens were arrested, charged and made to stand trial for bullying. Under the context of being charged with uttering threats and criminal harassment, which is the same as adults, would be charged with, if an adult perpetrat-ed this crime on another adult. Before this case, the court system seemed to basi-cally allow teens to make threats to other teens without any repercussions or consequence. “RATS & BULLIES” not only deals with this prece-dent setting incident. The film also tells of other bullying and bullycide incidents and offers solutions on bullying to teens, teachers, parents, school ad-ministrators, etc. And “RATS & BULLIES” helps to show victims of bullying that they're not alone and that help is avail-
able. The inception of “RATS & BULLIES” came from when I tuned in to watch a specific episode of the OPRAH Winfrey Show when that day's show re-aired at 1:00 a.m. I had tuned in as the show was listed as talking about bullying, and the topic interested me. The entire hour of Oprah's show was on the story of Dawn-Marie Wesley and Oprah spoke with Dawn-Marie's mother Cindy Wesley on the set. I was deeply moved by the story, as I was horrified that a girl, only 14 years old, felt so scared by the actions of others, that she would kill herself. Being that I'm an actress and screenwriter who works on and takes an interest in social causes, I felt that this was a story that needed to be told in a feature film. I ordered the transcript from the OPRAH Winfrey Show, researched the incident through various news articles and located the family in British Co-lumbia, Canada. I decided to call the mom (Cindy Wesley) on a Sat-urday, as I figured that would be a more likely time she would be home and have hopefully some time to talk. I wanted to inquire as to if the family's life rights had been purchased by a film studio or net-work, and if not, I wanted to be granted the life rights. So my next step was the phone call to Cindy Wes-ley and that she would see my vision for the film. The documentary was not even part of the idea at that time. D.O.: Upon speaking with Cindy Wesley, how did you get life rights as opposed to a film studio or network? C.M.: When I asked Cindy Wesley if a studio or network had inquired to buy her family's life rights, or had made her a money offer, she informed me that two television networks had and some studios were inquiring. I told Cindy my vision for the feature film screen-play - which would be to depict the story in a real way - to show the horror of a brutal suicide and to show the gritty true raw story of the bullying en-dured and to depict the story without holding back.
33
Relationships
Of course, to show the story in such a raw and real way would mean that the story had to be told in a feature film. It could not be told in a television mov-ie on a standard TV network, as the violence that was involved in some of the girl bullying would not be aired, as a TV network would homogenize the story and content. Cindy believed in my vision for the story of how to tell of the tragic incidents that tore her family's life and a small town apart. We made a verbal agree-ment on the phone for me to obtain her family's life rights and then I would follow-up that week with mailing her a formal, writ-ten legal contract to obtain the life rights. I told Cindy that in writing the screenplay, I'd want to capture their true essence and so would travel to Canada to conduct exten-sive research and to video record interviews with those involved, so to get their mannerisms, etc. on camera, to use when writ-ing the screenplay. I figured I'd need to spend a month up in British Co-lumbia, Canada to do the research. Cindy agreed and said she would tell the people in-volved about me. All in all, Cindy and I spoke for about 90 minutes on that initial phone conversation, and even though prior to that call we had been complete strangers to each other, after the call, I knew somehow that she and I would be lifelong friends. D.O.: According to Cindy Wesley, what type of re-lationship did she have with her daughter Dawn-Marie Wesley? C.M.: Cindy and Dawn-Marie were very close and had a very caring mother and daughter relation-ship. And Dawn-Marie and her younger brother D.J., who was a year younger than her, were very close.
Part of the reason Dawn-Marie killed herself was that one of the bullies made threats against Dawn-Marie's family. So it is sad that Dawn-Marie thought she was protecting her family, but in fact, she left them with tragedy and heartbreak. D.O.: Were these culprits her classmates and what was the rational for Dawn-Marie thinking that she was protecting her family? C.M.: The three bullies were all classmates at her high school. All three were in the 9th grade.
The reason Dawn-Marie felt she had to protect her family was that the main bully who threatened to kill her, also threatened that she (the bully) could potentially cre-ate legal problems for Dawn-Marie's family because one of the bully's father was a prominent police officer with the Royal Canadian Mount-ed Police in the town of Mis-sion, where Dawn-Marie lived. The bully said that she could get her dad to arrest whoever she wanted - whether or not they commit-ted a crime or not. With that said, the RCMP were not the ones to bring charges against the three bullies. The local RCMP said no crime had been committed. It was a determined female prosecutor who worked for
Canada's Crown Counsel, was the one to incorpo-rate charges against the three girls. D. O.: Were you able to talk with the three girls involved with bullying Dawn-Marie? C. M.: I was able to include an exclusive full inter-view, a discussion with the leader of the girl gang - one of the girls arrested and brought to trial for bul-lying. Her open, candid, and at times remorseful and sorrow filled interview, which is thought pro-voking and insightful, is featured in my documen-tary Film, “RATS & BULLIES”.
34 ALIVE April 2011
Relationships
The second bully (the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Officer's daughter), was set to be inter-viewed by me. But when the time came she was all of a sudden sent to the East Coast of Canada, and was "unavailable" for her interview. She did, how-ever, send me a couple of emails months later - in which she told me she was actually never a bully and that the court was wrong, etc. Yet, it was her phone threats to Dawn-Marie that seemed to push Dawn-Marie over the edge. The third bully disappeared from the town of Mis-sion after her trial and was reported to be living in and out of shelters. So no contact was made with her. When she finally showed up on the day the Judge issued her historic court ruling for the first two teen girls, she was placed under arrest and months later, the third bully was tried in a separate trial. D. O.: And the verdict rendered for the girls? C. M.: You'll have to watch “RATS & BULLIES” to learn the verdicts. D.O.: Okay, I’ll be getting my copy next week. Is
there any other goal for “RATS & BULLIES”? C.M.: I'd like to take the film through the film festi-val circuit - with a distribution company promoting and sponsoring it. So my main goal is to get a do-mestic (U.S.) and international distributor - to get it seen by as many teens as possible - to hopefully save lives, make a positive difference and that through Dawn-Marie's story, to let kids who are being bullied know that someone cares. My other goal is to get this powerful and inspira-tional story made into a feature film from my award winning Screenplay, “THE TOUGHEST GIRLS.” The film will truly touch a lot of people, and will have an important message of hope and inspira-tion. http://www.ratsandbullies.com/ www.TheToughestGirls.com
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36 ALIVE April 2011
Parenting
Your Kids Are Not Stupid!
by Rodrick Walters aka The Upbeat Dad
By now, most of us as parents have a good idea
of how our kids are doing in school so far this year. My daughter is in the 7
th grade and is doing quite
well. She's very intelligent, articulate and really a wonderful child. But I recall when she was just set-tling down in elementary school, her grades caused me many a sleepless night. As bright as she is, for quite some time, that was not reflected in her grades. And that caused me a great deal of concern. As far as I was concerned, I had a straight A student but somehow an impostor took over and was produc-ing unac-ceptable grades. At that time I was a single dad raising a 9 year old. I had recently started my own business so time was at a premium. It wasn't the most con-venient of things to begin working with her to im-prove her grades.
But there she was - a young, impressionable, intel-ligent child with her entire life ahead of her. She needed the loving guidance of one who saw the very best in her. She didn't need to hear judgmen-tal words like "What are you? An idiot?" Or "How stupid can you be? You're not gonna amount to anything."
What do you do when your child struggles? Do you throw up your hands and say "Forget it?" Do you say, "Oh, well - some have what it takes and others don't." You know how many kids hear those words from their parents? Those same kids internalize the words and literally become the manifestation of those damaging words.
I thought about how my parents encouraged me when I had my own struggles in school. I was de-termined to be there for her as they were for me. I scheduled conferences with her teachers to find out their perspective. I hired a tutor to get her going in the right direction. And more than anything, I began speaking words of encouragement to her - words like "I don't care what your report card says
now, you're a straight A student", "You're gonna do great things in life" and "You're the best there's ever been. "And would you believe that those words have changed her life? Now her approach in school is so much different. And it's reflected in her good grades. Her self-confidence is so much greater. She now speaks of the career she'd like to pursue, knowing it is possible with hard work. Sometimes as parents we send our kids to school and think that it's the school's job to educate them. On the contrary, the school is just a formal setting where much of the education takes place but it's our job as parents to provide the kind of environ-ment where they can learn.
Our words have more power than we might know. We can build up or tear down our precious children by simply opening our mouths. If your children should struggle to any degree, it's ok to be frustrat-ed. But try not to use negative words like "stupid" or "idiot". Sow seeds of excellence into them. If you don't see the best in them, then who will? Tell them they will accomplish great things - even if you're having a hard time believing it. Sooner, ra-ther than later, you will believe it and so will they. Our children are the future. Let's feed them with words of encouragement as they seek to live their dreams. They'll be the better for it. ALIVE
I thought about how my parents encouraged me when I had my own struggles in school.
37
Living Life by Design, not by Default Master Mind Group™
This group is for entrepreneurs that:
Identify your purpose
Inspire yourself
Step into your purpose
Experience an increase in business
Next group begins May 1, 2011.
Identify
Step
Purpose
Increase
38 ALIVE April 2011
Spring has sprung and we are all getting spring
fever. Many are making plans to enjoy the weather with their girlfriends over a long weekend. Here are some of our travel picks! New York, New York
New York has plenty to offer – rich culture, popular sites, shopping and museums. While in NYC, take time out to be rejuvenated. Upper West Side The Spa at Mandarin Oriental is considered the city's greatest luxury hotel spa though pricey. Lo-cated on the 35th floor of the Time Warner. 80 Co-lumbus Circle at 60th Street, New York, New York 10023. Reservations: 866-801 8880. Upper East Side Exhale Upper East Side is one of three Exhale spas in New York City that combine excellent spa treatments, healing modalities like acupuncture, and exercise classes like Core Fusion, which gives the locker room a sweaty, athletic vibe. 980 Madi-son Avenue between 76th-77th. 212-249-3000 Mid-town The Peninsula Spa by ESPA is a luxury hotel spa
with 12 treatment rooms, a sun-lit movement stu-dio, fitness center and a glass-enclosed pool fea-turing panoramic city views. Go on a video tour of The Peninsula Spa in NYC. Exhale Midtown on Central Park's southern end is a 12,000 foot oasis with 12 treatments rooms and two 1,200 foot studios, and a chic nail bar. I had a
great facial here - 150 Central Park South between 6th and 7th Ave., 212-249-3000. Townhouse Spa is a three-story spa that caters to a corporate clientele, down to the leather banquettes and one all-male floor with a barber station. SpaOceana is a giant hydro-capsule that sprays you with steam and oils - 9 West 56th Street, between 5th and 6th Ave., 212-245-8006. Okeanas is one of the few places in Manhattan where you can get a tradi-tional Russian banya (steam-infused sauna) and plaza, an invigorating brushing with bundled birch leaves fol-lowed by a splash of ice-cold water. And it offers barber services. It's at 211
East 51st Street, between 2nd and 3rd Avenues. 212-223-6773. If you decide to visit New York, you want to be sure to take time to visit some of the popular sites:
Time Square
Empire State Building
Central Park
Statue of Liberty
Grand Central Terminal
Wall Street
Saks Fifth Avenue
FAO Schwartz
Tiffany & Co.
Metropolitan Museum of Art
Museum of Modern Art
So get ready to hop on a plane and enjoy the Big Apple and take a bit out of fun! ALIVE
Girlfriend Getaway: N.Y.C.
39
Asking the Question
by Ra-Keish N. Roland
I was advised to ask the question, Why? So I'm going to try to form the words that compose
a reality I haven't been strong enough to deal with…
Now Father, before I ask, I pray for strength to han-dle the bitter truth about the situation and state of
mind that I'm in,
„Oh Yaweh, please Forgive me of all my sin‟.
This is the first step of my surgical procedure - breaking the outer shell that conceals my heart to a place where pain, deceit, lying, fornication and re-
jection currently reside.
I'm not trying to hide my inner truth any longer. I need something that is stronger than that cocaine
or marijuana type high.
I crave the Ultimate flight plan and there is only One Man that will not only lift my spirits, and not
with beer or wine, but the kind that is peaceful and
surreal.
You know the kind that can heal all the battered and broken wounds.
Don’t be so consumed, because He proved He
could do miracles when He died on the cross and moved the tomb, yet the world was still lost.
With the knowledge of knowing someone so Pow-erful, Awesome and HOLY, I only have one last
thing to say…
“Lord, I BOLDLY ask You, to show me Why it hurts so bad?”
I'm tired of being sad because I believe You are the
Supreme Ruler who will deliver me and totally Reign in me, with Majesty and Precision...
I now wait, listening and watching You with close attention.
G.R.O.W. (Great Revelation of Wisdom)
by Ra-Keish N. Roland
When you can’t see or aren’t ready to see the wrong, it'll never be corrected.
When you are attempting to go on with your heart protected, as if everything is okay,
it’s bound to come to a head one day.
When you live one way and profess to others that you live another that is just a means of trying not to uncover the truth about what has been hidden.
It has been written that whatsoever is done in the dark will come to the light,
So, no matter how hard you fuss, fight or deceive yourself the fact of the matter is this,
At some point in your life whatever has been forbidden in your heart, or unexposed by your composure, the only way to receive closure is to
Face It, Deal with the Outcome and… Let It Go.
So you can GROW.
Great Revelation of Wisdom!!!!!
40 ALIVE April 2011
The Birthing Process Birth of our dreams that is! by Rodrick Walters aka The Upbeat Dad
Have you ever been pregnant? Have you given
birth to a baby? If so, you’ve experienced in a physical way what every great achiever in history has experienced mentally. The birthing process is something that we can all relate to. A woman con-ceives and after about 9 months, a baby comes from her womb and joins the rest of us in the jour-ney we call life. I’d like to challenge you today to think about the birthing process from the standpoint of giving birth to your dreams. A few months ago, I had a conversation with a friend of mine. We were talking about some of the dreams I’ve had for the past several years coming to fruition. His words to me were, “What you’ve experi-enced the last few years is a pregnancy.” I replied, “A pregnancy? But I’m a guy! How’s that?” “Yes,” he said. “You’ve been pregnant and all that’s happening now is that you’re giving birth.” I wrote down some specific things that he shared with me. It wasn’t long before I concurred with him that, in fact, I have been pregnant. He spoke of my wife. Just last August, we welcomed our wonderful baby son into the world. We found out the previous December that we were expecting but little did we know that she conceived in late November. Before long, we knew it. Our doctor knew it. And those we chose to share the news with knew it. But after a few months, she started to show, so it was obvious to anyone who saw her. As time transpired, things she normally did were not so easily done anymore. Getting dressed, standing up, walking – all these things increasingly became a chore. As all this transpired, our little son was growing. First, he was practically the size of a grain of sand, then a pea, then an apple, then big-ger and bigger.
While all of these changes were taking place both with my wife and our unborn son, the inevitable due date was coming up. No matter what hap-pened, he was on his way into the world and all we could do was prepare and make room for him. My friend then made a powerful statement to me that just made my jaw drop in awe. Here’s that statement, “When a woman reaches full-term, her womb is stretched to its capacity. It can no longer contain the baby. Therefore, she begins to feel dis-comfort. Then she experiences increasingly in-tense labor pains. And then the baby moves through the birth canal and is born. In the fullness of time, the world sees with their eyes what 9 months before no one knew was there.” Wow! I could not add any more words to that profound statement. You see, our dreams are conceived inside of us. Sometimes we do not realize that they are there.
But it doesn’t mean that they’re not. Then we realize and acknowledge that they’re deep
within us. We could be living in a
house with loved ones and they’d have no clue that there is something conceived and living on the in-side of us. But that which is conceived is real and it is living. My wife took prenatal vitamins to feed our little ba-by as she carried him. As you nurture your dream, you need to feed it the right nutrients so that it can grow in its own natural process and time. Over time, as it grows, you do begin to experience some discomfort because you’re not used to carrying this extra weight. It becomes a burden – one that you know must be released. You want to release it but it’s not yet “the fullness of time.” So you wait in an-ticipation and at times, with some frustration. Did you know that there’s a certain point before which a fetus cannot survive outside of the womb? In our own lives, sometimes we try to give birth to our dreams but somehow those plans quickly fizzle and fade away. That’s because it wasn’t time to give birth just yet. But the inevitable due date awaits. There is a due date for the dreams con-ceived on the inside of you. That due date is as sure as the rising of the sun – it is inevitable. Your responsibility therefore, is to nurture your dreams
Inspirational
“The darkest part of the night is just before the dawn.”
41
As you nurture this dream, it grows continually. Yes, there are times when it becomes painful to carry. And yes, there comes the time when it ap-pears too much to bear. But hold on –could it be that you’re giving birth to it? My mom always says, “The darkest part of the night is just before the dawn.” Your dreams for your family and for your career are within your grasp. But you can only realize your dreams through the painful but necessary birthing process. Perhaps now is the time for you to give birth! Perhaps your labor pains have been dis-guised as you becoming a victim of the economic downturn and your finances appear to have been cut off. Perhaps your labor pains have been dis-guised as a bad marriage; or as out of control chil-dren. But take heart – as any loving mother will tell you, when that lovely baby is born, you quickly forget about the pain and discomfort as you hold that bun-dle of joy in your arms. It makes the labor and the pain worth it all. My wife has little recollection of the many hours that she spent in labor. She only knows that she has a wonderful, healthy, happy
baby boy and that’s all that matters. Your dreams are in the birth canal, my friend. The head is crowning. In a very short while, you and the world will see with your eyes what you've already seen in your head. And as you give birth, just know that though your baby is conceived within you and begins to grow in your womb, in order for it to grow into all that it can be it must be released through the birthing process. I hope that you embrace this very life transforming message because it’s very real. And I hope that you and your baby will impact the world in a posi-tive way. Enjoy giving birth! ALIVE
Inspirational
42 ALIVE April 2011
Vendor Directory
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PUBLIC RELATIONS Ivy N. Carter, MBA Public Relations/Professional Writer Written By INC 214-986-3759 [email protected] PUBLISHING Dashawn Taylor Next Level Publishing www.nextlevelpublishing.com
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43
The Bearer of this coupon is entitled to a 30
minute branding consultation.
To redeem this coupon, send an email to
[email protected] subject line
BRANDING. In your email message, include
the redemption code SPRING11.
Offer expires May 1, 2011.
Wh
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me
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yo
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gabout your business?
44 ALIVE April 2011