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TIDBITS® TAKES YOU TO SEEDOCTORS, REAL &

FICTIONALby Kathy Wolfe

For real-life ailments and for an amusing look at vintage TV and literature, this week, Tidbits takes you to the doctor.

In 1901, a German family named Deter •brought their 51-year-old female relative to see Dr. Alois Alzheimer, a psychiatrist and neuropathologist. Mrs. Deter was experi-encing short-termmemory loss and diffi-culty speaking and understanding speech. Dr. Alzheimer had never before seen such strange symptoms and worked closely withhispatientforthenextfiveyearsuntilher death. Convincing her family to donate her brain to his laboratory, he noted con-siderable shrinkage in the outer layer of her brain, and through the use of staining techniques, he identifieddeadanddyingbrain cells, plaque deposits, and tangles inside the tissue. His research appeared in medical journals in 1907, and the disease was tagged Alzheimer’s Disease in 1910. This debilitating condition is now the sev-enth-leading cause of death, with a new case every 70 seconds.

Fortunately for •many children of the 1950s, Dr. Jo-nas Salk changed his mind about becoming a law-yer, transferring to medical school. Dr. Salk worked for eight years to develop a polio vaccine, testing it first onmonkeys,before revealing it in April of 1955.

Touted as a miracle worker, he refused to obtain a patent on his vaccine, and had nopersonalfinancialgain fromhiswork,believing that the entire world should ben-efitfromit.In1955,whenthevaccinewasintroduced, the average number of polio cases in the U.S. was 45,000. Within sev-en years, that number had dropped to 910. At the time of his death in 1995 at the age of 80, Dr. Salk was hard at work on a vac-cine against AIDS.Although we think of Frankenstein as the •monsterof thehorrorfilmsof the1930s,Dr. Frankenstein was actually the creator of the monster. He was a scientist who ex-perimented with piecing together assorted parts of human corpses...

continued on page 3!

Issue #1115November 30, 2009

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ARIES (March 21 to April 19) There could be an unexpected change in plans for your up-coming holiday travels. But keep in mind that alittleflexibilitygoesalongwayinresolvingany disappointments.TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) A new relation-ship might not be responding quite as quickly as you’d hoped. Could you be expecting too much too soon? Try to ease up and let things happen at their own pace.GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) As we approach the frenetic pace of pre-holiday planning, take time out now to reconnect with the wonderful people who share your life, especially the one who also shares your dreams.CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A misunder-standing should be resolved before you get caughtupintheflurryofholidaypreparations.Set your pride aside and deal with it, regard-lessofwhomighthavehurtwhomfirst.LEO (July 23 to August 22) Being told that a colleague might have been trying to undercut your effectiveness might or might not be true. Get all the facts before you even think about acting on this so-called information.VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) It’s a good idea to start your holiday preparation plans early in order to avoid a time crunch if an unresolved workplace situation causes a problem. That old friend might have some welcome news.LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A fam-ily member’s actions continue to surprise you, but this time with positive results. Could be yourwisecounselfinallygotthrough.It’slikehaving an early holiday gift, isn’t it?SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Your reluctance to act in a current situation could be traced to your inner self advising you to take more time to study its complexities be-fore you attempt to deal with it. Good luck.SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Soothing hurt feelings before they can ig-nite an angry outburst is the wise thing to do. And, of course, when it comes to doing the “wisdom thing,” you do it so well.CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Budget your time so that you can handle both your workplace duties and your personal holi-day planning -- including travel arrangements -- without burning out on either end.AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Youmight find that you still need to firmupone or two of those still-outstanding decisions so thatyoucanfinallymove forwardasyouhad planned. Weigh the facts, then act.PISCES (February 19 to March 20) You usu-ally don’t carry grudges, but you might feel thisisonetimewhenyou’rejustifiedindoingso. But aren’t you spending too much energy holding onto it? Let it go and move on.BORN THIS WEEK: You have a way of us-ing your quiet strength to persuade people to follow their better instincts and do the right thing.

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Stores have to decide far in advance what items they’ll push for the holidays. Given the economy and the belt tightening that shoppers have been doing all year, retail-ers aren’t going to take many chances with the holiday merchandise they’ll offer. They already know that consumer wallets will be closed more than they’re open, so they need to cash in on what buyers ap-pear to want.This year think “traditional” and “comfort.” Expect few fad items to grace the shelves. Decorations will tend to be the classics we grew up with: regular green Christmas trees with decorations in standard colors of gold and red. Look for toys with good play value. Watch for hands-on, do-it-yourself items like crafts, kits and building sets. Look for kitchen items that make it easier to cook (and eat) at home. Keep an eye out for warm comforters (because the thermostat is notched down a bit more this year) and one-person size quilts (so you’ll stay warm watching television because you’re not going out to movies as often).You’llhaveluckfindingelectronicsatgoodprices. Again, consumers are staying home more, and retailers want to cash in on the desire for at-home entertainment. They’re hoping buyers will spring for com-puters that have Windows 7 and maybe even modestly priced big-screen televi-sions. Look for accessories to update an existing wardrobe. (If you buy clothing, look for items that will last through many seasons. The hot color this year is purple. Can you live with that for three years?) Certain brand-name jeans likely will be on sale -- a back-to-basics move.Before you shop, plan your spending. Stick to cash where possible (or at least have a plan to pay off credit cards within three months.) Decide on must-have gifts, but leave yourself some leeway for sur-prise bargains that you discover. Compare pricing between stores and online compa-nies. Many online chains will have cou-pon codes for discounts if you buy online, but most will have quick expiration dates. Shop discount stores where you can, but beware the quality of the merchandise. Look for new items in charity shops.Hint:Afteryourfirstdayofholidayshop-ping, review your purchases and ask your-self if you really need to go out and buy more.David Uffington regrets that he cannot personally answer reader questions, but will incorporate them into his column whenever possible. Write to him in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to [email protected].

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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area Page3November30,2009

rroll came up with the idea of painting lines on roadways to separate lanesof traffic.When highway departments pooh-poohed her idea, she hand-painted a mile-long, four-inch-wide stripe down the center of a Californiaroad,thoughttobethefirstcen-ter stripe in the nation. It wasn’t until 1924 that the California Highway Commission finallyapprovedherconceptandpainted3,500milesoflineswitha$163,000pricetag.Intheworldof1960stelevision,crotchety•old Doc Adams patched up townsfolk and gunslingers alike in Dodge City, Kansas on Gunsmoke, while handsome young Dr. James Kildare dealt with patients at Blair General Hospital for five seasons. Darkand brooding Ben Casey performed sur-gery at County General, mentored by Dr. Zorba, while kindly general practitioner Dr. Marcus Welby ministered to patients in his suburbanhomeoffice,assistedbyhand-some assistant Dr. Kiley.

DOCTORS (continued)The doctor met his end in the Arctic Circle •neartheNorthPole,wherehehadfledinpursuit of the monster with the objective of destroying him. The creation of a 19-year-oldauthor,MaryShelley,thebookwasfirstpublished in 1818. In the novel, Franken-stein was not a doctor, and the monster was never given a name.You might not recognize the name of •noted American archaeologist Dr. Henry Jones, Jr., a professor at Connecticut’s fictionalMarshallCollege.That’sbecausehe is better known as “Indiana” Jones, of Raiders of the Lost Ark fame. Based on a concept of filmmakerGeorge Lucas, thecharacter was designed by comic book artist Jim Steranko, wearing his signature fedora and leather jacket. Although we can’t imagine anyone but Harrison Ford in the role, it was originally offered to Tom Selleck. However, CBS refused to release Selleck from his Magnum, P.I. television series duties, and the part was given to Ford just three weeks before filming be-gan.

Giving medical •attention to a badly broken leg resulted in a prison life sen-tence for 31-yearoldDr. Samuel Mudd. In the wee hours of April 15, 1865, theyoung doctor set the broken leg of John Wilkes Booth, who had assassinated

President Abraham Lincoln just hours before. A debate began over whether Mudd knew Booth and was part of the conspiracy, something Mudd vehemently denied. He later admitted that he had in fact known Booth. Two years into Mudd’s stay at a military prison located on an island in the Gulf of Mexico, a yellow fever epidemic broke out. After the fever claimed the life of the prison doctor, Mudd volunteered to take his place. His labors resulted in a petition to President Andrew Johnson, signed by 300 fellow inmatesheralding the doctor’s bravery. Johnson’s pardonreleasedMuddin1869.Hismedi-cal practice was reestablished and this fa-ther of nine children worked until his death at age 49.Scottish author Robert Louis Stevenson •was portraying the battle between good and evil in a person’s nature when he penned The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll andMr.Hydein1886.WhenDr.HenryJe-kyll ingested a potion he had concocted, he changed into Edward Hyde, the cruel and evil part of Jekyll’s personality. The story has become so well known, it merits adictionaryentry,whichdefinesa“Jekyll

and Hyde” as “a person marked by dual personality, one aspect of which is good and the other bad.” There have been more than120filmversionsmadeofthisliterarywork, with yet another slated for a 2010 release.Several doctors became better known as •authors than for their medical expertise. While pursuing his M.D. at Harvard Medi-cal School, Michael Crichton wrote The Andromeda Strain, but went on to bigger fame with his dinosaur saga Jurassic Park. He was also the creator of television’s popular “E.R.” medical series.... While maintaining a successful London •medical practice, Arthur Conan Doyle was working hard to become a noted author. Af-ter becoming widely recognized for his Ad-ventures of Sherlock Holmes, he resigned his practice. He later volunteered as a doc-tor in Africa during the Boer War. Somerset Maugham, author of Of Human Bondage, was also a medical doctor who served on an ambulance patrol during World War I. Thoracic surgeon Richard Hornberger chronicled his Korean War experiences at a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital in a writ-tenworkthatwentontofilmandtelevisionfame as M*A*S*H, basing main character Hawkeye Pierce on himself.After narrowly escaping injury while driving •her Model T Ford in 1917, Dr. June McCa-

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On • Dec. 4, 1872, the Mary Celeste, an American vessel, is spotted sailing erratically but at full sail near the Azores Islands in the Atlantic Ocean. The ship was seaworthy, its stores and supplies were untouched, but not a soul was onboard. The reason for the abandonment of the Mary Celeste has never been determined.On • Dec. 6, 1907, in West Virginia’s Marion County, an explosion in a network of mines owned by the Fairmont Coal Company kills 361 coal miners. It was theworst mining disaster in American history.Nationwide,atotalof3,242Americans were killed in mine accidents in 1907.On • Dec. 1, 1913, the Ford Motor Company introduces the continuous moving assembly line. Ford’s new assembly line could produce a complete car every two-and-a-half minutes, allowing the company to sell cars for less than any competitor.On • Dec. 3, 1947, Marlon Brando’s famous cry of “STELLA!” firstbooms across a Broadway stage, electrifying the audience during the first-everperformanceofTennesseeWilliams’ play “A Streetcar Named Desire.” When the curtain went down on opening night, the crowd erupted into a round of applause thatlasted30minutes.On • Nov. 30, 1954, thefirstknownmodern instance of a meteorite striking a human being occurs at Sylacauga, Ala., when a meteorite weighing 8.5 pounds crashes through the roof of a house and into a living room, bounces off a radio and strikes a woman on the hip.On • Dec. 5, 1964, the first Medalof Honor awarded to a U.S. serviceman for action in Vietnam is presented to Capt. Roger Donlon of Saugerties, N.Y., for his heroic action earlier in the year. During anattackonJuly6,1964,Donlonwas wounded four times, but kept fighting,refusingmedicalattention.On • Dec. 2, 1975, Ohio State University running back Archie Griffin becomes the first player inhistory to win the Heisman Trophy twoyearsinarow.Inthe1976NFLDraft, hewas the first-round draftchoice of the Cincinnati Bengals.


1. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What would a group of emus be called?2. LANGUAGE: What is a synonym for jejune?3. MYTHOLOGY: In the mythical Greek tale, what was the name of Jason’s ship used in pursuit in the Golden Fleece?4. AD SLOGANS: Which company’s ads claim its services are “So easy, a caveman can do it”?5. FAMOUS QUOTATIONS: Who once said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter”?6. MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY: What is a more common name for the medical condition called cyesis?7. TELEVISION: Who used to sign off his program with the words, “Good night and good luck”?8. LITERATURE: Who was the author of the novel “Zuckerman Unbound”?9. MOVIES:Inwhichfilmis“TheChildren’s Marching Song” performed?10. GEOGRAPHY: What is the largest bay in the world?

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Sticking To A Holiday Budget Without Being A

Grinch(NAPS)—You may already be feeling it—that perennial “urge to splurge” that strikes just as the holiday catalogs hit mailboxes and in-store Santas appear. This year, though, that urge will be sorely tested: On the one hand, 65 percent of consumerssay the economy will affect their holiday plans, according to a recent survey by the National Retail Federation, with 84 percent of them planning to spend less.

On the other hand, who wants to disappoint those on your holiday list? While it’s unrealistic to cut spending completely, the gloomy forecast simply means you need to shop smarter. Here are several ways to approach this holiday season without burning up your bank account:

Think Like a Retailer: Stores are hoping to avoidarepeatoflastyear’sholidayfire-saleprices, and the National Retail Federation anticipates that “many sales may only be offered to a retailer’s most loyal customers.” That means if you haven’t done so already, sign up for e-mails from your favorite stores to be alerted to special discounts. Keep in mind that most retailers have lowered their

inventories by an average of 10 percent from 2008, according to recent Standard & Poor information.

Plan Ahead: Drafting a list of who you’re shopping for will keep you focused and on budget. Using the Internet to research gift ideas and compare costs is a great way to prepare before hitting the stores. And when you head out to shop, have your list handy so you stay on track.

The Mighty Widget: Some of the best deals can be unearthed without waiting for a discount e-mail to arrive in your inbox. By placing one of these store icons on your computer desktop or embedding it on your personalized home page—widgets are downloadable from many retailers’ Web sites—one click gives you access to all the specials.

Consider Gift Cards: Gift cards can be an ideal, stress-free solution to getting that perfect gift that recipients really want, and because you set the value upfront, they also help keep you from going over budget. In fact, 79 percent of shoppers intend to buy gift cards this holiday season, according to a study conducted by the consultingfirmAccenture.Butnotallcardsare created equal. Be sure to choose one like the American Express Gift Card (www.

americanexpress.com/gift), which has no monthly fees, no expiration of funds, and can be used everywhere instead of just onespecificstore.

Season’s Eatings: Unfortunately, it’s impossible to buy gifts for everyone. An easy, inexpensive way to acknowledge others beyond family and close friends is by baking a large batch of cookies and gifting small, wrapped portions to acquaintances, co-workers and neighbors.

That’s a Wrap: At the end of each holiday season, stock up on marked-down wrapping paper, gift bags and greeting cards for next year and put everything in a box with tape and scissors. You’ll be one step—and several dollars—ahead.

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It was Serbian electrical engineer and in-•ventor Nikola Tesla who made the follow-ing sage observation: “One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane.”You may be surprised to learn that in •1980, the mayor of Detroit gave the key to the city to Iraqi dictator Saddam Hus-sein.If you’re planning a trip to Minnesota •anytime soon, you might want to stop in the town of Pipestone to see its claim to roadside-attraction fame: a 30-foot-longpeace pipe.If you think postage rates are getting high •now, consider this: To send mail by Pony Express originally cost $5 per ounce --and that was when a dollar was worth a whole lot more than it is today.The World Health Organization does not •include cockroaches on its list of insects hazardous to human health.Itwas in2006ataChristianyouthcon-•ference in Atlanta that the world’s larg-estrecordedpillowfighttookplace,withsome 10,000 teenagers taking part in the festivities.American author Ken Kesey is best •known for his novel “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” which is set in a veter-ans’ hospital. He got the inspiration for the novel from work he did with patients while working the night shift at Menlo Park Veterans Hospital -- a job from which he waslaterfired.If you’re ever vacationing in Denmark’s •capital city, you might want to keep in mind this unusual statute: It is against the law in Copenhagen for an unmarried couple wearing bathing suits to kiss on the beach.

Thought for the Day: ““I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.”

-- Mitch HedbergrWEEKLY ANSWERS

A preacher, who shall we say was “humor impaired,” attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd’s atten-tion, said, “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn’t my wife!” The crowd was shocked! He fol-lowed up by saying, “And that woman was my mother!” - The crowd burst into laugh-ter and delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well. The next week, the pastor decided he’d give this humor thing a try, and use that joke in his sermon. As he surely approached the pulpit that sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!” The congregation in-haled half the air in the room. After standing there for almost 10 seconds in the stunned silence, trying to recall the second half of thejoke,thepastorfinallyblurtedout,“...and I can’t remember who she was!”Signs Found in Kitchens

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and •this kitchen is delirious. No husband has ever been shot while •doing the dishes. A husband is someone who takes out •the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. A balanced diet is a cookie in each •hand.

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy re-•frigerator. Blessed are they who can laugh at them-•selves for they shall never cease to be amused. Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out. •A clean house is a sign of a misspent •life. Housework done properly can kill you. •Countless number of people have eaten •in this kitchen and gone on to lead nor-mal lives. My next house will have no kitchen — •just vending machines.

“Oh, no!” he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How any-one could have survived he did not know. He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slimhopeoffindingDannykepthimfromturn-ingandfleeingthescene.Hetookadeepbreath and proceeded. Walking was virtu-ally impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly. “Danny! Danny!” he whispered to himself. He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone, or something, move. At least he thought he did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt his gut tighten. He couldn’t understand how this could have happened. In despera-tion, he took another step then cried out, “Danny!”Fromanearbypileofunidentifiedmaterial, he heard his son. “Yes, Dad,” he said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be heard. “It’s time to get up and get ready for school,” the man sighed, “And for heaven’s sake, clean up this room!”A Sunday school teacher was teaching kids about doing good things always and never to do things one will be ashamed of. To make her point she told the kids never to do anything in private that they would not want anyone to see them do in public.“Yippee!” cried little Johnny from the back of the class, “No more bathing!”A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, “Will you buy booze?” The bum said, “No.” The man asked, “Will you gamble it away?” The bum said, “No.” Then the man asked, “Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn’t drink or gamble?”

By Samantha Weaver


WEEKLY FUNNIES

Call (303) 688-1987 or

emailInfo@TidbitsofDenver

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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area November30,2009

EventsCabinet of Curiosities: October 9,2009-March5,2010;IndoorGallery at the Museum of Outdoor Art, 1000 Englewood Pkwy, Ste 2-230,Englewood.Mon-Thu9:00am - 5:00pm Fri 9:00 am - 4:00 pm. A whimsical exhibition showcasing the talents of 12 artists working in a new vintage style to create artistic worlds in furniture, cabinets, rooms, antique luggage, hand blown glass and fashion armoires. The juxtapositions of disparate objects is sure to delight the historian, tinkerer and armchair scientiest. Among the many oddities, you will see Lewis Carroll’s “Imaginary Cabinet Room” by Lonnie Hanzon, Nick Bantock’s “Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man” and Elaine Pellham’s “Fisher King’s Tackle Box”.ADMISSION IS FREE! www.moaonline.orgWorld Kitchen: Chef Cookings Demos: November 14, 2009 - December12,2009.Saturdays10:30am - 12:00 pm - FREE ADMISSION. Denver Public Library, Central Branch, Denver. This cookie party, hosted by Jessica Gaydos, features a selection of cookies from around the world. There’s no better time than fall and winter for a batch of warm cookies, and Chef Gaydos will provide samples and recipes that will gain you entree to any Untied Nation Potluck. www.DenverLiberary.orgTodd Powell Photography Exhibition: December 1 - December 18, 2009, with an artist reception Thursday, December 10 5:00 pm - 7:00pm. City of Greenwood VillageCurtisArts&HumanitiesCenter;2349E.OrchardRoad,Littleton,CO.It’s hard to believe something like a calendar could challenge a commercial photographer’sfineartside.Butthat’sexactly what happened to professional photographer Todd Powell. Powell’s vivid images are featured in Greenwood Village’s 2010 calendar. Powell’s gallery exhibit revolves around the theme of water, an element Greenwood Village wanted to feature as part of its mission of environmental education. K’s Gifts 2 Go: Holiday Bazaar Event, December 12, 2009, Green Valley Ranch Golf Club, 4900 Himalaya St, Denver. FREE ADMISSION!!! 11:00 am - 5:00 pm. A variety of vendors for you to SHOP ‘TIL YOU DROP!! Intimate Apparel, Gano Coffee, Leather Purses, Quilts and Blankets, Bath Products. Look good for the holidays. Shapewear, etc. Don’t You Dare Miss It! Contact K - (303)200-7004.

To Place Your Event in this calendar please e-mail [email protected]

Free EventsBus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/Museum District: First Friday of every month 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816AcomaSt,Denver303-825-7570www.pnfproductions.comChildren’s Museum: First Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm. 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.orgCU In Broomfield World Music Series: Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month,7pmBroomfieldAuditorium,3CommunityParkRd,303-469-3301x7999www.broomfield.orgDenver Art Museum: First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am-5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.orgDenver Botanic Gardens: Free days Check web site for 2010 schedule of freedays.1005YorkSt,720-865-3500www.botanicgardens.orgDenver Museum of Nature & Science: 2009 Free days: No more free days in 2009. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009www.dmns.orgFirehouse Tales For Tots: Denver FirefightersMuseum1356TremontPl,(303)892-1436.FirstWednesdayofeachmonth10:00am-10:30am.Ages2-6Museum of Contemporary Art: First Saturday of every month admission = 1 penny.127519thStinDenver.303-298-7554 www.mcartdenver.orgU.S. Mint:Mon-Fri;8am-3pm;reservationsencouraged320WestColfaxAve.303-405-4761www.usmint.gov

SportsColorado Avalanche - NHLLightninghost:MonNov30,5:00pm•Panthershost:WedDec2,5:30pm•Penguinshost:ThuDec3,5:30pm•Blue Jackets host: Sat Dec 5, 5:00 pm•Blueshost:MonDec7,6:00pm•Wild: Wed Dec 9, 7:00 pm•Lightning: Fri Dec 11, 7:00 pm•

Denver Broncos - NFLAtKansasCity:SunDec6,11:00am•AtIndianapolis:SunDec13,11:00am•

Denver Nuggets - NBAGolden State: Tue Dec 1, 7:00 pm•Miami:ThuDec3,8:30pm•SanAntoniohosts:SatDec5,5:30pm•Philadelphia hosts: Mon, Dec 7, 5:00 pm•Charlotte hosts: Tue Dec 8, 5:00 pm•Detroithosts:ThuDec10,5:30pm•Phoenix: Sat Dec 12, 7:00 pm•

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get from kissing birds?A: Chirpes. It’s one of those canarial

diseases. I hear it’s untweetable.Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?A: Too many cheetahs.Q: What is the difference between a cat

and a comma?A: One has the paws before the claws

and the other has the clause before the pause.

Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?

A: To the retail store.Q: What kind of dog tells time?A: A watch dog.Q: What has four legs and an arm?A: A happy pit bull.Q: Why is a tree like a dog?A: Because they both lose their bark when

they die.Q: Did you hear about the cowboy who got

himself a dachshund?A: Everyone kept telling him to get a long,

little doggie.Q: What is the difference between a

rottweiler and a social worker?A: It is easier to get your kids back from a

rotweiler!Q: Did you hear about the new breed in pet

shops?A:Theycrossedapitbullwithacollie;it

bites your leg off and goes for help.Q: How do you know if there is an elephant

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tidbits - denver metro area - issue #1115

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