tidbits - denver metro area - issue #1074

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PRESIDENTIAL NAMESBy Eric A. Iron

Each U.S. president’s name has been ad-opted for a variety of uses. In 1800, our na-tion’s new capital was named after the first president, George Washington. In 2008, a particular species of round fungus beetle was named for our newest ex-president, George W. Bush. Okay, so not all of the uses are flattering…

Fort Adams, named • in honor of our sec-ond president, John Adams, sits along the coast in New-port, Rhode Island. Crowds gather at the location each year to attend the celebrated Newport Jazz Festival.One of Cincinnati’s most posh areas is Mt. • Adams, named for John Quincy Adams. In the mid-1800s, the hill became the home of the world’s most powerful telescopes.Blues music legend Chester Arthur Burnett • was named for President Chester Alan Arthur. As a performer, Burnett adopted a more colorful name: Howlin’ Wolf.Do you recall which group of TV students • attended James Buchanan High? Was it the hoopsters from The White Shadow, the teenagers in Happy Days, or the Sweathogs from Welcome Back, Kotter? Find the answer at the very end of this article.The northeastern suburbs of Atlanta have • become a huge shopping destination. One of the heaviest-traveled thoroughfares in the area is Jimmy Carter Boulevard, named after the former president from Georgia.Renowned baseball pitcher Pete Alexan-• der was named after our 22nd and 24th presidents. What? You don’t remember a President named Pete or Alexander? Well, Pete was Alexander’s nickname; his moni-ker at birth was Grover Cleveland Alexan-der.

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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area February 09, 2009

fare Island.In a famous cartoon, Theodore Roosevelt • was depicted as being merciful to a bear cub. From then on, plush bear dolls ad-opted his nickname and became “Teddy bears.”Named for then-president Harry Truman, • the Truman Doctrine went into effect in 1947 in an attempt to prevent the spread of Communism into southeast Europe.The first American city named after George • Washington was chartered in 1780, be-fore he became president. The city of Washington, Georgia, was founded nearly a year before General Washington led his troops through the famous winter at Valley Forge.Dozens of universities, colleges, and oth-• er schools are named for presidents. One of the most prestigious is the Woodrow Wilson School of Public & International Af-fairs, part of Princeton University.ANSWER TO QUESTION ON PAGE 1:Barbarino, Horshack and the other Sweat-• hogs attended Brooklyn’s fictional James Buchanan High School on TV’s Welcome Back, Kotter.

PRESIDENTIAL NAMES (continued)

Coolidge Dam, built in the 1920s and • named for Calvin Coolidge, gathers east-ern Arizona’s Gila River into San Carlos Lake.Dwight Eisen-• hower is the only president to date with a four-syl-lable last name. You’ve driven (or ridden) on road-ways named for him, as his name is firmly attached to the Eisen-hower Interstate Highway Sys-tem.During the run of TV’s The Brady Bunch, • the older and middle kids attended Fill-more Junior High, named for mid-19th-century president Millard Fillmore.Each year, the NCAA presents the Gerald • R. Ford Award to a person who has dedi-cated his or her life to college athletics.In a round-about fashion, Garfield the cat • was named for 20th president James Gar-field. Creator Jim Davis took the name from his grandfather, James Garfield Da-vis, who was named for the former presi-dent.Grant’s Tomb is named for Ulysses S. • Grant. And to answer the age-old ques-tion, no one is actually “buried in Grant’s Tomb.” (It’s an above-ground mausole-um.)One of the largest and oldest trees in the • world is a Giant Sequoia named ‘Presi-dent.’ It’s located in California’s Sequoia National Park and was named for Warren Harding.Named after our 23rd president, the SS • Benjamin Harrison served only one year before a torpedo took her out of commis-sion during World War II.To thank Rutherford B. Hayes for his help • in their border dispute with Argentina, Par-aguay named one of its “departments” (the equivalent of a “state”) Presidente Hayes. Its capital? Villa Hayes, of course.“Hoovervilles” sprang up all across Ameri-• ca during the Great Depression. This was the name the press gave to to the shan-tytowns where some were forced to live in the 1930s, when Herbert Hoover was president.On a few episodes of The Andy Griffith •

Show, Sheriff Taylor’s full name is revealed to be Andrew Jackson Taylor. President Andrew Jackson was born in 1767 on the border between North and South Caro-lina.In years past, Texas’ wealthy often headed • elsewhere to retire. Today, many of them opt to find a cozy spot along Lake LBJ, a central Texas spot famous for its great boating. (Lyndon Johnson did own prop-erty on the lake, and visited it regularly during his term.)When John F. Kennedy was assassinated • in 1963, tributes rose all across the coun-try. In New York, Idlewild Airport became JFK Airport. In Florida, Cape Canaveral became Cape Kennedy.Manhattan’s Madison Avenue, Madison • Square, and the famed Madison Square Garden were named for our nation’s fourth president, James Madison.In 1822, the country of Liberia was formed • on the Atlantic coast of Africa to accom-modate freed slaves that wanted to leave America. Liberia stands as the oldest in-dependent African nation. Monrovia, its capital, was named for President James Monroe.Washington State’s Franklin Pierce School • District has it better than most. Not only do they receive assistance from prestigious local organizations like the Gates Founda-tion, but how many school playgrounds of-fer a view as gorgeous as that overlooking Mt. Rainier?National Airport in Washington, D.C. was • renamed Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport in 1998. It handles much of the city’s intercontinental traffic, while nearby Dulles offers more international flights.Political pundits may chuckle after learn-• ing that Franklin D. Roosevelt Island – in the East River between Manhattan and Queens – was previously known as Wel-

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TRIVIA NEWSFRONT™

PRESENTS

NEWSFRONT ANSWERSTRIVIA

NUMBER PUZZLEFill in the grid so that every column, every row,

and every 3 x 3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

NUMBERPUZZLE ANSWER

. . . . . GOES LONG

by Kara Kovalchik & Sandy Wood

ALWAYS FUN

ALWAYS FREE

Can you name the five different politicalparties that were represented in Washington,D.C. by these five former U.S. presidents?

1. Ulysses S. Grant

2. John Adams

3. Zachary Taylor

4. James Monroe

5. Andrew Jackson

1. Republican

2. Federalist

3. Whig

4. Democratic-Republican

5. Democratic

FILLER PAGE 21Q09 - WEEK 07FEB 08 - FEB 14

Most who traverse it assume that Virginia’s Benjamin Harrison Bridge is named for our 23rd president. It

was actually named for a Benjamin Harrison from the prior century who served as the state’s governor.

6 1

8

7 3

9

3 8 2

4 2 1

5 6 8 3

8 6 2 4 5

2 3 5 7 8

3 4 2 7 9 8 5 6 1

6 1 9 4 5 2 8 3 7

8 7 5 1 3 6 4 9 2

9 2 7 3 4 5 6 1 8

1 3 8 9 6 7 2 5 4

5 6 4 8 2 1 3 7 9

4 5 1 6 8 9 7 2 3

7 8 6 2 1 3 9 4 5

2 9 3 5 7 4 1 8 6

On • Feb. 14, 278 A.D., Valentine, a holy priest in Rome, is executed for continuing to perform marriages for young lovers in secret after Emperor Claudius the Cruel banned all marriages and engagements. Legend has it that while in jail, Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer’s daughter and signed it “From Your Valentine.”

On • Feb. 15, 1903, toy-store owner and inventor Morris Michtom places two stuffed bears in his shop window, advertising them as “Teddy” bears. Michtom had earlier received permission from President Theodore Roosevelt to use his nickname. Stuffed bears soon became a national childhood institution.

On • Feb. 11, 1916, Emma Goldman, a crusader for women’s rights and social justice, is arrested in New York City for lecturing and distributing materials about birth control. Goldman, nicknamed “Red Emma,” was later convicted and spent time in jail.

On • Feb. 12, 1924, American composer George Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue” is performed for the first time as part of a concert in New York City. Gershwin’s other works include “An American in Paris,” written in 1928 and used as a ballet for Gene Kelly in the 1951 movie of the same name.

On • Feb. 13, 1958, the first Ford Thunderbird with four seats is introduced. The four-passenger “square bird” converted the top-of-the-line Ford from a sports car to a luxury car. Thirty-eight thousand cars were initially sold, making the T-Bird one of only two American cars to increase sales between 1957 and 1958.

On • Feb. 9, 1971, pitcher Leroy “Satchel” Paige becomes the first Negro League veteran to be nominated for the Baseball Hall of Fame. He earned his nickname as a boy when he earned money carrying passengers’ bags at train stations.

On • Feb. 10, 1996, after three hours, world chess champion Gary Kasparov loses the first game of a six-game match against Deep Blue, an IBM computer capable of evaluating 200 million moves per second. Kasparov was ultimately victorious, however, as he bested Deep Blue in the match with three wins and two ties and took home the $400,000 prize.

(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.

1. TELEVISION: What was the name of the robot in the comedy series “Get Smart”?

2. MEDICINE: Who is credited with discovering a vaccine for measles?

3. LITERATURE: What famous author also wrote under the pseudonym of Tex Burns?

4. HISTORY: Who was the United States’ first chief justice of the Supreme Court?

5. BUSINESS: What is AT&T’s stock ticker symbol?

6. GEOGRAPHY: What African country lies directly west of Sudan?

7. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: How many lines are in a sonnet?

8. GAMES: How many cards are used in pinochle?

9. U.S. STATES: Which state would you hail from if you were called a “Tar Heel”?

10. FAMOUS QUOTES: Who once said, “He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house”?

Answers1. Hymie2. John F. Enders and

Thomas Peebles3. Louis L’Amour4. John Jay5. T6. Chad7. 148. 489. North Carolina10. Zsa Zsa Gabor


Barrel of KnowledgeThe current Oscar statuette is made of • gold-plated britannium, a metal alloy, and stands 13 1/2” tall and weighs 8 1/2 pounds. The base of the statuette is metal. The first Academy Award of Merit was • awarded on May 16, 1929. The only Oscar to win an Oscar was • Oscar Hammerstein II for his song, “The Last Time I Saw Paris,” in the movie Lady Be Good (1941). Midnight Cowboy (1969), the winner of • the Academy Award for Best Picture, is the only X-rated movie to win an Oscar.


PICK OF THE WEEK“The Back to the Future Trilogy” -- One of the biggest blockbusters of the mid-’80s is being re-released this week. Michael J. Fox plays Marty McFly, a high-school student who uses Doc Brown’s (Christopher Lloyd) time-traveling DeLorean to travel back and forth in time -- from the 1980s to the 1880s to 2015. If you don’t already have the trilogy in your collection, this is as good a time as

any to buy, since the discs are being sold individually at a reduced price. Don’t expect any new special features or anything. It’s just a bare-bones repackaging of each of the three films.

DOG OF THE WEEK“W.” -- Regardless of your political bent, Oliver Stone’s biopic of George W. Bush is a ponderous mish-mash of a film. The alleged comedic bits play like a stale SNL skit that’s gone on for too long, and any attempts at gravitas fall flat or are unintentionally funny. That said there are good performances by Elizabeth Banks (as Laura Bush), James Cromwell (as Bush Sr.) and Richard Dreyfus (as Dick Cheney), but they get lost in the constant jumping back-and-forth between vignettes of Bush’s past and the lead-up the invasion of Iraq. Also, “W.” doesn’t have the same depth of character as Stone’s other presidential biopic, “Nixon,” which was an incredible piece of cinema and a balanced, sympathetic insight into one of the most controversial and despised presidents in history. Maybe if Stone had spent more time getting the script in shape, “W.” might have been a better film. I think one of the reasons “W.” fails is because Stone rushed production so he could release it before the November 2008 election. Problem was, he should’ve released it in November of 2004 if he’d wanted to make an impact. I mean, didn’t anyone tell him that Bush wasn’t running? Seriously, what was the point of this ridiculous pop-psychology exercise of a film? The plot in a nutshell: W. has Daddy Issues. Stone should’ve called this turkey “W.: An Oedipus Wreck.”

TV SERIES“Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!” Season 2 “Dragon Ball Z” Season Eight “Naruto” Uncut Box Set, Vol. 12 “Melrose Place” The Fifth Season Vol. 1 “Friday the 13th the Series” The Second Season “Simon and Simon” Season Two


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Free EventsBus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/Museum District - First Friday of every month free, 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.comChildren’s Museum - Free admission first Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.orgColorado Railroad Museum - Check the web site for free days. www.crrm.org 17155 W. 44th Avenue, Golden 303-279-4591CU In Broomfield World Music Series - Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Road, 303-469-3301 x7999 www.broomfield.orgDenver Art Museum - First Sat of every month free to Colo residents, 10am - 5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.orgDenver Botanic Gardens - Free day: First Friday of each month, 9am - 5pm 1005 York Street, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.orgDenver Museum of Nature & Science - 2009 Free days: Wed Mar 18, Sun Apr 19, Sun May 31, Wed Jun 10, Mon Jul 13, Wed Aug 12, Sun Sep 13, Sun Oct 4, Mon Nov 2, Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.orgFirehouse Tales For Tots- Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6Museum of Contemporary Art - First Saturday of every month - Admission: 1 penny 1275 19th St, Denver 303-298-7554 www.mcartdenver.orgU.S. Mint - Free: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave., 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov

SportsColorado Avalanche - NHLBlue Jackets host Avalanche: Tue Feb 10, 5 pmWild host Avalanche: Wed Feb 11, 6:00 pmAvalanche host Canadiens: Fri Feb 13, 7:00 pmRed Wings host Avalanche: Sun Feb 15, 3:00 pmAvalanche host Senators: Tue Feb 17, 7:30 pmCapitals host Avalanche: Fri Feb 20, 5:00 pmHurricans host Avalanche: Sun Feb 22, 1:00 pmThrashers host Avalanche: Tue Feb 24, 5:00 pmDevils host Avalanche: Thu Feb 26, 5:00 pmRangers host Avalanche: Sat Feb 28, 5:00 pmIslanders host Avalanche: Mon Mar 2, 5:00 pmAvalanche hosts Red Wings: Wed Mar 4, 7:00pmBlackhawks host Avalanche: Sun Mar 8, 1:00 pmAvalanche hosts Thrashers: Tue Mar 10, 7:00 pmAvalanche hosts Wild: Thu Mar 12, 7:00 pmOilers host Avalanche: Sat Mar 14, 8:00 pmCanucks host Avalanche: Sun Mar 15, 8:00 pmDenver Nuggets - NBAMiami hosts Nuggets: Tue Feb 10, 5:30 pm Orlando hosts Nuggets: Wed Feb 11, 5:00 pmPhiladelphia hosts Nuggets: Wed Feb 18, 6 pmChicago hosts Nuggets: Fri Feb 20, 6:30 pmMilwaukee hosts Nuggets: Sun Feb 22, 3:00 pmNuggets host Boston: Mon Feb 23, 7:00 pmNuggets host Atlanta: Wed Feb 25, 7:00 pmNuggets host Lakers: Fri Feb 27, 7:00 pmIndiana hosts Nuggets: Sun Mar 1, 5:00 pmDetroit hosts Nuggets: Tue Mar 3, 5:30 pmNuggets host Portland: Thu Mar 5, 8:30 pmUtah hosts Nuggets: Fri Mar 6, 8:30 pmSacramento hosts Nuggets: Sun Mar 8, 7:00 pmNuggets host Houston: Mon Mar 9, 7:00 pmColorado Mammoth - Natl Lacrosse LeagueMammoth host Calgary: Sat Feb 14, 7:00 pmSan Jose hosts Mammoth: Sat Feb 21, 7:30 pmEdmonton hosts Mammoth: Sun Feb 22, 6:00 pmSan Jose hosts Mammoth: Sat Mar 14, 1:30 pmColorado Rockies - Major League Baseball

Spring TrainingRockies host Arizona: Wed Feb 25, 1:10 pmRockies host White Sox: Thu Feb 26, 1:10 pmAngels host Rockies: Fri Feb 27, 1:05 pmRockies host Dodgers: Sat Feb 28, 1:10 pmColorado Rapids - Major League SoccerDenver Outlaws - Major League LacrosseDenver Broncos - National Football League


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NUGGET OFKNOWLEDGE

THISWEEK’SCELEBRITYBIRTHDAYS

A MENTMAZE

QUOTE

Senior Editor:

email:

Kara Kovalchik

[email protected] Director: Sandy Wood

2009.07

NEX

T W

EEK

:

NA

MES

THE

PR

ES

IDENTS

JACKSON, MSJEFFERSON CITY, MO

LINCOLN, NE MADISON, WI

A true story: April 12, 1945. Nearthe end of World War II, VP Harry

Truman was summoned to the WhiteHouse. Once there, officials led himto Eleanor Roosevelt’s private study.

There, Truman soon learned why hehad been asked to drop everythingand rush to the president’s home.

FDR’s wife came right to the point:“Harry, the president is dead.”

After a moment of stunned silence,a contrite Truman inquired, “Is there

anything we can do for you?”

Again, Mrs. Roosevelt made herstance clear. “Is there anything

can do for ?” she replied.“You’re the one in trouble now.”

weyou

Four capitals of U.S.states are named afterformer presidents.

See if you can nameeach of them, alongwith thematching states.

Unscramble this word:

STEELFRAIDThis word means:the political party of GeorgeWashington & John Adams

FEDERALIST

“...There are advantages to beingelected president. The day after Iwas elected, I had my high school

grades classified .”Top Secret

~ Ronald Reagan


Seth Green . . . . . . . . . 2/8/74

Joe Pesci . . . . . . . . . . 2/9/43

Mark Spitz . . . . . . . . . 2/10/50

Sarah Palin . . . . . . . . 2/11/64

Arsenio Hall. . . . . . . . 2/12/55

Carol Lynley . . . . . . . 2/13/42

Meg Tilly. . . . . . . . . . . 2/14/60

Jimmy Carter and GeorgeH.W. Bush are the only two

living ex-presidents whocould run for the office. The

22nd Amendment limitedthe number of terms a U.S.president may serve to no

more than two. BothCarter and the elder

Bush were defeatedfor reelection after

serving a singleterm.

To Place Your Event in this calendar please e-mail [email protected]

EventsMicroChip Your Cat - FREE: September 2008 - September 2009 (as long as supplies last); Various veterinary hospitals and clinics across the metro area. 150,000 cats metro-wide will receive free microchips! Visit www.ChipYourCat.com for details.

FREE Nutrition Classes: Tuesdays January 6, 2009 - March 24, 2009; Brekshires at Lowry 6704-A E. Cedar Ave, Denver 10am - 11am or 6pm - 7pm. Free Personal Coaching, Free Nutritional Information. Learn how to eat and stay healthy with our fast-paced lifestyle. Get to meet new people and have fun. For more information and pre-registration, contact Vivian (303) 355-4770

35th Annual Denver March PowWow: March 20 - March 22, 2009: The Denver Coliseum, Denver. Doors open Friday - Sunday 10:00 am. The Denver March Pow Wow Committee, on behalf of the Denver Indian community, invites all dancers, singers, traders, spectators and powwow fans to their 25th annual powwow. Enjoy dancing, singing, crafts, artisans, frybread and more. $7 per day or $18 for a three day pass. Seniors ages 60+ and children under 6 years of age are FREE! www.DenverMarchPowWow.org

6th Annual Weekend of Jazz: March 26 - March 28, 2009: The Broadmoor, Colorado Springs. Grammy Award winning guitarist, Earl Klugh, annually invites jazz and music enthusiasts to a unique, luxurious getaway at the Five Star, Five Diamond Broadmoor Resort. Patti Austin, Spyro Gyra, Jesse, J, Bob James, R ‘n’ R (Rick Braun and Richard Elliot), and more. Tickets now on sale! www.WeekendOfJazz.com

3rd Annual RootsFest - Formerly Known as the Denver Folk and Roots Music Festival: March 28, 2009; Ellie Caulkins Opera House, 1477 Columbine St, Denver. $55 - $125. Saturday 6:00 pm. Headlining - Bluegrass legends Hot Rize, multi-Grammy winner singer/songwriter Shawn Colvin, and acclaimed guitar virtuoso Leo Kottke. www.SwallowHillMusic.org

Parker Country Festival: June 12, 2009 - June 14, 2009; Town of Parker, Main Street. FREE Admission - Individual activies such as carnival rides will have costs. Carnival, 150 arts and craft/Commercial vendors, kids’ activities, two stages of free entertainment and a parade. Friday 5:00 pm - 11:00 pm. Saturdy 9:00 am - 11:00 pm. Sunday 9:00 am - 10:00 pm. www.ParkerOnLine.org

Jazz Aspen Snowmass Festival: June 18, 2009 - June 28, 2009; Snowmass Village Resort, Snowmass Colorado. Ticket Information to be announced. NEW VENUE! Show Times To Be Announced. Music, Food, Friends and Fun. www.SnowmassVillage.com

Coolest Car Show: July 4, 2009; 10:00 am - 4:00 pm. Downtown Estes Park, between West Elkhorn Ave and Moraine Ave, Estes Park Colorado. Ticket Information - $4 Adult, $2 children and students, FREE under 6 yrs old, OR BRING THE FAMILY FOR JUST $10! Proceeds benefit the Estes Park Museum. The Coolest Car Show will feature over 100 vintage vehicles from the 1920s and beyond. Car show will take place in Bond Park and throughout the Downtown area. Close up inspection of the cars is encouraged! Information and to register your car: www.EstesParkcvb.com

Caroline’s Interior ConsignmentsAll Sofas - $125

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Don’t pay chain prices for

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Small Business Tax Specialist

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Quips & Quotes Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

— George Burns Talk low, talk slow, and don’t talk too much.

— John Wayne Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four.

— Katharine Hepburn

Earn Financial Freedom

Tidbits - Denver Metro Areais seeking motivated individuals

who are self-managing and enjoy meeting new people.Multiple positions available:

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Qualified candidates for both positions must have their own transportation.

No Calls Please - send a request for an application to:

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Prepare Your Taxes For Less – Yet Still Retain

Quality Customer Service

Typically in the tax industry, there are three standard models for tax preparation: Type One - The professional firm (accountants/lawyers), catering to businesses and wealthy clients, and offering a variety of other services, such as payroll and bookkeeping. Tax preparation is usually billed on an hourly basis, which is the most expensive. There are situations where the use of such firms is prudent and necessary. Where needed, they should be used, but the vast majority of people and most small businesses can avoid paying such high fees.Type Two - The cookie-cutter chain operation, open a few months of the year with a significant percentage of their staff trained within the last few months. Tax preparation fees are usually based on the tax forms used. Preparation fees can be inflated by multiple fees associated with some forms as well as software generated worksheet charges. The high fees are slightly offset by a multitude of coupon offers but the savvy customer will realize that a $25 discount on a charge that is inflated by $75 is NOT a deal.Type Three - The one room office or home based tax preparation business. Prices may be lower but training and skills of such preparers vary widely. They typically disappear after tax season and may not be available to help

you if the IRS has questions regarding the preparation of your tax return.Aurora Financial Services (AFS) is a hybrid of all three; offering tax preparation and other financial services on a year-round basis as do the professional firms, but in a familiar chain-type setting at prices often as low as the home-based businesses.Our lower prices are a result of lower overhead and the ability to generate income year-round from the non-tax related products we also offer. AFS doesn’t have to make all of the income needed to keep the doors open from a single product over just 4 months.For individual or small business tax preparation, AFS charges by the form however their form rates are much lower than those charged by the chain stores. These prices are also posted on their website, www.afsnodebt.com, where they can be viewed at any time and compared with their competition. AFS does a great job of keeping their tax preparation fees below 75% of what most chains charge. The average family will save money by using AFS.Anyone can offer low prices but Aurora Financial Services does it without sacrificing value to the customer. When they prepare your tax return, they will do their utmost in maximizing all legal deductions so as to increase your refund or lower your tax bill. Throughout the year, AFS personnel spend dozens of hours in training keeping those skills sharp and up to date. AFS also provides many other products and services and will help you and/or your small

business. Have you maximized d e d u c t i o n s ? Taken advantage of medical expense and retirement plans? Need advice on starting a small business? Unsure of your allocations and/or diversifications in your 401(k) or other investments? Are you taking full advantage of depreciation opportunities in your rental property? Do you know how much you need to retire and have you developed a plan to get you there? Do you owe money to the IRS? Do you need assistance in filing annual or bi-annual FAFSA forms?AFS can help you! A good tax preparer should do more than collect the data and fill in the blanks, they should be able to look down the road and recognize both the traps and the opportunities that lower your tax bill this year and in future years. In these times, we all need a break so this tax season, why don’t you break out of the mold and give Aurora Financial Services the opportunity to save you money? Aurora Financial Services - working with tomorrow’s millionaires today!Visit AFS at their new location: 12203 E. Iliff Ave Unit S, at the NE corner of Iliff and Peoria. Walk-ins are welcome or call today for an appointment at 303-745-3962. Visit their web site – www.AFSNoDebt.com

Email [email protected] Call (303) 688-1987E M P L O Y M E N T

OCEAN CORP. Houston, Texas.

Train for New Career. Underwater Welder, Commercial Diver,

NDT/Weld Inspector. Job placement and

financial aid for those who qualify, 1-800-321-0298.

A D O P T I O N M I S C E L L A N E O U S

A U T O P A R T S

Dear Tidbits Readers: Tidbits - Denver Metro Area can now place your display or classified ad in over 300 papers across the country! Papers such as: American Classifieds; Penny Saver; Thrifty Nickel; and other Tidbit publications throughout the USA. There is no need to contact each paper individually to place an ad.

PRIVATE PARTY ADS - start at $12.00 per week for the first 20 words and 35 cents for each additional word.

B U S I N E S S /COMMERCIAL ADS - start at $18.00 per week for the first 20 words and 35 cents for each additional word.Email us at [email protected] or call us at (303) 688-1987 to place your ad today

MANUFACTURED CABIN

2yrs old, never lived in. In leased site. Can be moved. W of Loveland 970-690-1069Email: laura@

riverviewrv.com

A NEW COMPUTER NOW!!!!

Brand Name laptops & desktops Bad

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BASIC PISTOL Class for Colorado CCW - $125. 1-day class. 10yrs worth

of CCW certificates.. Info: (303) 478-8121

Website theshootingschool.

orgEmail: dennis@

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C O M P U T E R S & E L E C T R O N I C S

FUN TRAVEL JOB

Hiring 18-23 individuals to travel USA. Two weeks

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lodging furnished. Toll free 866-234-3225.

M A N U F A C T U R E DH O U S I N G

ARKO GARAGE DOORS

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E M P L O Y M E N T

Recruiting Coordinator(Englewood, CO) - 0900207

DIRECTV Home Services is currently seeking a Recruiting Coordinator to provide

support to the Talent Acquisition Team and manage workflow associated with a

variety of functions within the department at our Englewood headquarters.

Responsibilities include, but are not limited to:

Working on high-volume, multiple regional openings; prescreen candidates selected by

the recruiter; collect, review & file candidate applications and log all pertinent FCC/EEO information

Candidate must have at least one year of prior HR or recruiting experience and have a H/S diploma. Bachelor’s degree is preferred.

Experience using an applicant tracking system required; Taleo preferred.

Please reference “Newspaper” as your referral source. If you are not able to access

our Web site, DIRECTV.com, please mail your resume and salary requirements to:

DIRECTV Home Services, 6501 E. Belleview Ave, Ste 500, Englewood, CO 80111. Please

also include the reference number for the position in which you are interested. EOE.

E M P L O Y M E N T


Need a new best friend?

Fluffy - a 10-year-old spayed female domestic medium hair mix. ID #A0480675

Cat Of The Week

Dumb Friends League2080 South Quebec St.

Denver, CO 80231 (303) 751-5772

www.ddfl .org

Call to adopt one of these or any of the other wonderful pets available

for $55 - $115.

Dog Of The WeekDeuce - an 8-month-old neutered male collie mix. ID #A0494549

By Samantha WeaverIt was noted American journalist, es-• sayist, satirist and critic of culture H.L. Mencken who made the following sage observation: “Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.”It may seem odd, but the Drug Enforce-• ment Agency supports, in a fashion, a publication that advocates the legaliza-tion of cannabis; the DEA has three sub-scriptions to the magazine High Times.There was a time when cartoon charac-• ter Fred Flintstone appeared in ads for Winston cigarettes.In an anthropological study once con-• ducted in Papua New Guinea, it was found that one in three adult deaths were the result of homicide. And it seems that those murdered were often targeted be-cause they were suspected of practicing sorcery.There seems to be quite a rivalry be-• tween the towns of Rosehill, N.C., and Wilmington, Del. Both locales claim to be the home of the world’s largest fry-ing pan, with a diameter of 10 feet. This begs some questions, of course: How many eggs are being fried at once to re-quire such a large piece of cookware? And what sort of stove is required to heat such a mammoth pan?In today’s troubled economic times, you • might not be surprised to learn that in his famed “Devil’s Dictionary,” Ambrose Bierce defined a corporation as “an inge-nious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.”According to estimates made by United • Nations researchers, approximately 25 languages became extinct in 2008, mean-ing the last native speaker had passed away.


Thought for the Day: “Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.” -- Alan Corenk

TRIVIA NEWSFRONT™

PRESENTS

NEWSFRONT ANSWERSTRIVIA

NUMBER PUZZLEFill in the grid so that every column, every row,

and every 3 x 3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

NUMBERPUZZLE ANSWER

. . . . . GOES LONG


ALWAYS FUN

ALWAYS FREE

Can you name the five different politicalparties that were represented in Washington,D.C. by these five former U.S. presidents?

1. Ulysses S. Grant

2. John Adams

3. Zachary Taylor

4. James Monroe

5. Andrew Jackson

1. Republican

2. Federalist

3. Whig

4. Democratic-Republican

5. Democratic


Most who traverse it assume that Virginia’s Benjamin Harrison Bridge is named for our 23rd president. It

was actually named for a Benjamin Harrison from the prior century who served as the state’s governor.

6 1

8

7 3

9

3 8 2

4 2 1

5 6 8 3

8 6 2 4 5

2 3 5 7 8

3 4 2 7 9 8 5 6 1

6 1 9 4 5 2 8 3 7

8 7 5 1 3 6 4 9 2

9 2 7 3 4 5 6 1 8

1 3 8 9 6 7 2 5 4

5 6 4 8 2 1 3 7 9

4 5 1 6 8 9 7 2 3

7 8 6 2 1 3 9 4 5

2 9 3 5 7 4 1 8 6

WEEKLY ANSWERS

The Tidbits® Paper is a Division of Tidbits Media, Inc. • Montgomery, AL 36106(800) 523-3096 • E-mail: [email protected] • All Rights Reserved ©2005

Information in the Tidbits® Paper is gathered from sources considered to bereliable but the ac cu ra cy of all information cannot be guaranteed.

Can’t Get Enough Tidbits?

Limited EditionBook Set

Limited Edition

T R I L O G Y

Send $24.95 (plus $5.00 S&H) by Check or Money Order to:

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(Alabama residents add appropriate sales tax.)Reprints of Books I, II, & III.

RESERVE NOW!

WANT TO RUN YOUR OWN BUSI NESS?

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Publish a Pa per in Your Area

CHANGE A LIFESeeking adults to provide love,

supervision, patience and attention for children 2 - 17 in your home.

Tax FREE Reimbursement, training and support - Call

Sarah (303) 302-3263Denver Area Youth Services

WEEKLY FUNNIESThe summer band class was just getting un-der way when a large insect flew into the room. The sixth-graders, eager to play their shiny new instruments, tried to ignore the buzzing intruder, but eventually one student, Tommy, could stand it no more. He rolled up his music book and swatted the insect, then he stomped on it to ensure its fate. “Was it a bee?” another student asked. “Nope,” Tommy replied. “Bee flat.” A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter looked at her father and said “Mommy did it.” The father asked, “How do you know?” His daughter replied. “She didn’t say anything.” Two boys were arguing over who’s father was the richest: First boy: My Father is so rich he’s going to buy the Pacific Ocean. Second boy: If you don’t shut up, I’ll tell my Father not to sell it.

Funny Signs Seen in England In a Laundromat: Automatic washing ma-• chines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. In a London Department Store: Bargain • Basement Upstairs In an Office: Would the person who took • the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken. In Another Office: After the tea break, staff • should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. On a Church Door: This is the gate of • Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.) Outside a Second-hand Shop: We ex-• change anything - bicycles, washing ma-chines etc. Why not bring your wife and get a wonderful bargain? Quicksand Warning: Quicksand. Any per-• son passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council. In a Dry Cleaner’s Window: Anyone leav-• ing their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of. In a Health Food Shop Window: Closed • due to illness. In a Safari Park: Elephants Please Stay In • Your Car. Seen During a Conference: For anyone • who has children and doesn’t know it,

there is day care on the first floor. Notice in a Field: The farmer allows walk-• ers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges. Message on a Leaflet: If you cannot read, • this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons. On a Repair Shop Door: We can repair • anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn’t work.) In a Restroom in a London Office Building: • Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

We were standing in line outside a busy res-taurant. The harried hostess was checking to find out how many people were in each group. “Party of two,” the woman behind us said to her, “and could we please have Michelle?” Annoyed looks turned to know-ing smiles when she added, “Michelle is my daughter, and just once in my life I want her to wait on me!” My kindergarten-aged daughter sudden-ly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it. My wife frantically swept through my daughter’s room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with my daughter. That afternoon, my daughter returned and hap-pily showed off hershirt. On one side it said, “Families are Forever.” And on the other, “Be Smart, Don’t Start.” Little Johnny was one of those holy ter-rors. His dad was surprised when his wife suggested that they buy him a bike for his birthday. “Do you really believe that’ll help improve his behavior?” he said. “Well, no,” she admitted, “But it’ll spread it over a wider area.”


Things You’d Like to Say Out Loud at Work...

I don’t know what your problem is, •but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

How about never? Is never good •for you?

I see you’ve set aside this special •time to humiliate yourself in public.

I’m really easy to get along with •once you people learn to see it my way.

I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being •smarter.

I don’t work here. I’m a •consultant.

It sounds like English, but I can’t •understand a darn word you’re saying.

Ahhh...I see the •screw-up fairy has visited us again.

I like you. You •remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

You are validating my inherent •mistrust of strangers.

I have plenty of talent and vision. •

“The World Through A Child’s Eyes”

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Laugh Lines!

John R. Martin - Associate of Brokers Guild - Cherry Creek LTD - 720.366.3532 - [email protected]

Specialist in acquiring corporated owned foreclosures for owner occupants and investors

Convenient Online Easy

No one knows better than YOU the features in a home that match your needs or where you want to raise your family.100’s of bank-owned homes now available at unbelievable • prices. I know where they are and will show you how to find them with the Home Buyers Scouting Report!You want to be sure the price is fair, I know the market and • will advise you at no out of pocket expense to you.You want the best terms you can get. I have the experience • of over 200 transactions to aggressively represent you.New home builders are also making deals and I’m not afraid • to ask for deep discounts for my qualified buyers.You have a home to sell? First explore all the options. There • is more than one approach that could make you some real

money.If you qualify to rent, chances are you qualify to purchase a • home for less than you pay now! Find out in less than thirty minutes.I will always be available to you if you want information or • advice. I’m never more than a “click” or a phone call away from giving you the full service you deserve from an experi-enced real estate agent.First time home buyers can get up to $7500 tax credit - • HURRY! Ends July 1. Email me for the link giving you all the info you need!

“Yes...I can be of assistance on all of these points But...You DON’T need me to shop for a home!”

Looking for a home?Take your search to a whole new level!

I just don’t give a damn.

I’m already visualizing the duct •tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial •misconceptions I had about you.

The fact that no one understands •you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

Any connection between your •reality and mine is purely coincidental.

I’m not being rude. You’re just •insignificant.

And your crybaby, whiny opinion •would be...?

Do I look like a people person? •

Sarcasm is just one more service •we offer.

If I throw a stick, will you leave? •

I’m trying to imagine you with a •personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell •without a door.

Can I trade this job for what’s •behind door #1?

Chaos, panic, and disorder - my •work here is done.

How do I set a laser printer to •stun?

I thought I wanted a career. Turns •out I just wanted a salary.

Oh I get it... like humor... but •different.

tidbits - denver metro area - issue #1074

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