AlsobyPeterLambrou,Ph.D.,andGeorgePratt,Ph.D.

AClinicalHypnosisPrimer

Hyper-Performance:TheA.I.M.StrategyforReleasingYourBusinessPotential

Self-Hypnosis:TheCompleteManualforHealthandSelf-Change

Authors’website:www.gem-systems.com

Thisbookisdedicatedtoourwonderfulfamilies

InmemoryofPeterP.Lambrou

ToMary,Dottie,Brenden,andLarissaLambrou

AndtoSally,GeorgeSr.,Vonda,andWhitneyPratt

CONTENTSAcknowledgmentsIntroductionPARTI:AllAboutEmotionalSelf-ManagementONECouldThisBeMagic?TWOParadigmandPedigree:TheRoadtoESMTHREEESMontheEnergeticLevelBalancedBreathingExerciseFOUREnergyAlignment:CorrectingPolarityReversalsTapLesson1PolarityReversal(PR)ExercisePARTII:UnderstandingOurEmotionsFIVEESM:TheRemedyforEmotionalGridlockTheRapidRelaxerTapLesson2:TheBack-of-HandTapTheEyeRollTheBridge SIX Getting Ready for Change: Labeling and Rating Your EmotionalDistressSEVENWhat,Exactly,AreYouFeeling?PARTIII:AdministeringESMProtocolsEIGHTHowtoAdministeranESMProtocolTheLastTapLessonNINETheESMProtocolsTENHaywire:CorrectingPolarityDisorganizationTheFive-StepBreathingExercisePARTIV:MaintainingandOptimizingESM’sBenefits

ELEVENPerformanceandProductivity:TheBonusRoundPolarityReversalExercise:Phase2VariationPolarityReversalExercise:Phase3VariationTheOptimizerProtocolTWELVEMaintainingEmotionalFitnessTHIRTEENTeachtheChildrenWell:UsingESMwithKidsFOURTEENTeachtheChildrenWell:UsingESMwithKidsProceduresataGlanceTapSiteReferenceKeySubjectiveUnitsofDistressScaleBalancedBreathingExercisePolarityReversal(PR)ExerciseTheRapidRelaxerBoosterPolarityReversalsTheOptimizerProtocolStressSelf-AssessmentforChildrenTheFive-StepBreathingExerciseGlossaryResourcesBibliography

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Wewant first toacknowledge thepioneers in the fieldofenergypsychology, fromitsrootstoitsmanybranches.ThefoundationalworkofGeorgeGoodheart,JohnDiamond,andRogerCallahanhasbecomethecornerstoneofthisfield.Theyhavepavedthewayforthosewhohavecarriedontoexplore,expand,andevolvethemethodsandtheoriestheyfirstlaiddown.

MargretMcBride,ourliteraryagent,haskeptthefaithandbeliefinthisproject,andhas inspired and guided us through the labyrinthine hurdles along the publicationpathway.Sheandherstaff,DonnaDeGutis,KrisSauer,andothers,havebeenwonderfulinhelpingmovethisbookthroughthevariousstagesofpublishingandbeyond.

At Broadway/Random House we want to thank Bill Shinker, who believed in theproject; Bob Asahina, who carried it forward; Lauren Marino, who shepherded itthrough the publication process; Rebecca Holland, for her attentive assistance withgraphics and production; Ann Campbell and Cate Tynan, who took care of so manydetails; and Robert Allen, Kathy Spinelli,Adrianna della Porta, Eleanor Branch, BobWalter,andmanyotherswhoseeffortsfurtheredthebookonitsjourney.

Many of our family, friends, and colleagues have contributed feedback,encouragement,andideasthatfurtheredthisprojectandhelpedusinavarietyofways.A heartfelt thank you to: Leigh and Tom Adkins; Brian Alman; Marcia and GregAndrews;SandraBagley;SheilaandPaulBanko;CarolandTerryBassett;DickBayer;NancyandChrisBenbow;BeatriceBenjamin;KenBlanchard;CynthiaBolker,SheldonBowles; Scott Buchanan;Gregg Burnett; Stacy andDaniel Canfield;Gaetan Chevalier;Zang-HeeCho;Becky,Dan,Jacob,Mathew,andLukeCinadar;MelindaClements;SteveCobb;LindaComer;DeaneandDorisDana;SteveandMaureenDime;SteveDoyne;BradEli;RichElrod;ScottFinley; SandyFlynn;SusanFrazar;FredGallo; SusanGawlinski;JulieGildred;TerryGopadze;Rebeccaand

David Grudermeyer; Nancy and David Haller; Sue Hannible;John Hinsey; TomHorvath;RobertHowes;KathyandRonJames;KittyandDirkKingma;MargaretKnight;Kathy and Cliff Koerner; Errol Korn; Lacey Kinelowech; Ann andMike Kriozere; PatKyle;TammyandMiltonLambrou;MarilynLauer;BruceLipton;JudyLiu;NancyMaher;Margie Dana-Mattingly; GeraldMcCracken; SusanaMendez; Cheri and ToddMorgan;

MaryMorgan;MaryJoMundahl;MikeNagle;PamNathan;ErikaNovak;BarbaraandK.D. Nyegaard;John Osborne; Audrey Phillips; Karen, David, Grace, and Audrey Pike;StevePinterics;PamPolcyn;Ophelia,Floyd,Sandra,Kenny,Kyle,andWhitneyPrater;Pat,David,Chad,Ginger,andJillPratt;PattiQuint;GregRizzi;ShylaRoberts;AdrienneRogers;StuSchrieber;LizaSiegel;StanSilbert;CindySimunec;GregSmith;BenjaminSpock;KenSquires;KayTalley;ToniThomas;andMarshallWilliams.

Ourwives,DottieLambrouandVondaPratt,deserveaspecialappreciationfortheirpatienceandencouragementand for the lovinghelp theyprovided in takingonextraresponsibilitiesaswefocusedsomuchofourenergiesoncompletingthisbook.

An important acknowledgment to Greg Nicosia, who so generously gave of hisknowledge, experience, and innovative creativity to help us develop and refine ourabilitiesand toexpandourunderstandingand skills inenergypsychotherapy.Greg isnot only a psychologist, he is a true healer of the pain and suffering of others. Hiscommitmentanddedicationtohelpingothersisaninspirationtothosewhoknowhim.We deeply appreciate Greg’s open sharing of his ideas and his feedback on themanuscript.

A very special thanks to our collaborative editor, Laura Torbet, who reshaped ourmanuscript,reorganizedit,fleshedoutthoseareasthatwerebadlyinneedofstructure,smoothedandpolishedthewords,andgaveliterarylifetoourcaseexamples.Asifthatwerenotatremendouscontributioninitself,Lauraalsocontributedherbackgroundingraphicartstodesignanddirectthegraphicelementsofthisbookthataresovaluablein helping to explain the intricacies of our methods. We immensely appreciate herliterary and visual creativity that blended to make this book so readable andunderstandable.Everybitasimportantasherskillsweretothebook’sform,hergoodhumorcombinedwithprofessionalismmadeourworktogetherapleasure.Thankyou,Laura,alsoaffectionatelyknownasLulu.

W

INTRODUCTION

earetraditionallytrainedpsychologists,originallyfromtheMidwest,whotodayfind ourselves at the leading edge of exciting and controversial new therapies

thatmakeextravagantpromises.

Itwasn’talwaysthiswayEarlyinourpractices,webothreliedstronglyonthewell-established cognitive and behavioral approaches to psychotherapy. However,throughoutourprofessionalcareerswehavebeenopentonewideasthatcouldhelpourclientshealtheiremotionalpain,particularlytoolsthatfosterself-relianceandspeedupthetherapeuticprocess.Bothofusweredrawntohypnosislongbeforewemet.

For a quarter century, George has been a clinical psychologist in private practice,specializing in psychotherapy and performance enhancement. Years before hypnosisbecame a common therapeutic tool, he was teaching it to physicians, dentists, andpsychologists.AlongwithhisgastroenterologistcolleagueErrolKorn,M.D.,heauthoredhypnosistextbooksaswellasvideotapesforclinicaltraining.

Peter, who began his career as a professional writer, became fascinated with self-hypnosis when he sought a way of dealing with his own stress. Work pressure hadbroughton the jaw-clickingandpain that can signal theonsetof temporomandibularjointdisorder(popularlyknownasTMJ).Afterenrollinginacourseonself-hypnosisforstress management, a growing friendship with the instructor developed into acollaboration on a book. That writing project in the early 1980s, with hypnosisspecialist BrianAlman, Ph.D. (who also had coauthored a bookwithGeorge), turnedPeterinthedirectionofclinicalpsychology.

Shortly after ourmutual colleague Dr. Alman introduced us, we collaborated on abookthatappliedself-hypnosisandotherskillstoachievingbusinessgoals.Now,fifteenyears later,ourpersonalandprofessional liveshavecrossed inmanyways.Weare inprivate practice together and are on staff at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla,California. We also teach at the University of California at San Diego and otherprofessionalschools.

Asconventionallyschooledpsychologists,wehavecautiouslyexaminedtherapiesthatarenotwellstudiedandvalidatedbymainstreampsychology.Certainlyweacceptthefundamentalconnectionofmindandbodyandhaveapproachedmentalandemotional

healing from thisperspective formost of our careers.Hypnosis is onepotent tool forchange. In the past ten years, we have achieved rapid results with EMDR (EyeMovement Desen-sitization and Reprocessing), a powerful and evolving therapymodalitydevelopedbypsychologistFrancineShapiro,Ph.D.

However,nothingwehaveeverusedasatreatmenttechniqueequalstherapidaction

andsuccessrateoftheapproachwecallEmotionalSelf-ManagementSM,orESM,whichispresentedinInstantEmotionalHealing.ESMisoneofseveraltherapiesthatfallundertheheadingofThoughtFieldTherapy,whichcombinesWesterncognitiveapproacheswithEasternacupressuretechniques.ThoughtFieldTherapyisasynthesisoftheworkofanumberofresearchers,clinicians,andtheorists,aswe’llexplaininChapters2and3.

Ourworkwiththisnewmethodofreleasingnegativeemotionshasshownthata95percentsuccessrateispracticalandachievableinaclinicalsetting.Inmostcaseswearetalking not about temporary relief of symptoms but about ridding clients of theirdistressforever;forexample,incasesinvolvingpastemotionaltraumaorphobias.

Butthetechniquesinthisbookgobeyondeliminatingnegativeemotionsthataffectfunctioning.Thesemethodscanbeusedtomanagethefullspectrumoflife’sstressors,including some types of physiological problems, and to maximize individualperformanceandeffectiveness.ESMcanhelppeople fromallwalksof life, and inallarenasoflife,withissuesfromparentingtopersonalrelationshipsandpublicspeaking.InstantEmotionalHealingisnotjustaself-helpbook;itisafoundationforanewwayofoptimizingyourlifeandyourperformanceinallareas.

FromSkepticstoBelievers

Whenwefirststartedusingthesetherapies,wewereskepticalourselves.Wecouldn’tbelieve that anything so simple and quick could be so effective. With hypnosis andEMDR especially,we had seenwhatwe believed to be rapid resolution of emotionalpain.ButnothingpreparedusfortheimmediateandrewardingresultsweweregettingwithThoughtFieldTherapy.

Wewould begin by asking clients who came in for hypnosis if theywere open totryingsomethingnew.Eventhoughourdescriptionof theprocessmightseemfarout(eventoclientsalreadyexperiencedwithhypnosisorEMDR),theyusuallywereopentoconsider“anythingthatmighthelp.”Tenminuteslaterthey’dbesaying“Idon’tbelieveit,myproblemisgone!”

In those early days, wewere as astounded as our clients, whowere seeing results

immediately, right there in our offices. We were pinching ourselves to be sure weweren’t dreaming or making it up. In the world of psychotherapy, such relief is,unfortunately,rare.Manytimes,thebestpsychologycandoishelppeoplesuffermoreeffectively.Neverbeforeinourcareershadweseensomanygratefulclientswithsuchwonderfulstoriesofsuccess.Youwillbereadingaboutmanyofthesesuccesses.

The response to thesenew techniques, fromouroffice staff, graduate students, andcolleagues on the psychology staff at ScrippsMemorialHospital, has been incredible.Not surprisingly, many of our physician and psychologist colleagues were highlydoubtfulandmadenobonesaboutit.Wegotusedtotheirgood-naturedribbingaboutour“miraclecures.”Untiltheytriedit.Oftenwe’dhavetocajolethem:“C’mon,”we’dsay,“itonlytakestenminutes,thetimeyou’dspendtalkingtoafriend.”Orwe’dbackthemintogivingitashot.“Here’syourchancetoproveuswrong.Whathaveyougottolose?”Onephysiciancolleague,whowasinastewaboutanupcomingcourtappearanceasanexpertwitness,grudginglyagreedto try it.Hewasastonishedwhenhisanxietywascompletelygonefiveminuteslater.“I’llbedamned,”hedeclared.“Ididn’tbelieveanyofthisenergycrap.”He’ssincebeenbacktodealwithotherissues,andwe’veseenhiswifeandhistwosons.Wenowtreat,andtrain,manyonce-skepticalphysiciansandotherclinicians.

Asnewsofthesedramaticsuccessesspreadwithinthetherapeuticcommunity,andasthe speed and effectiveness of these procedures became more widely known, othertherapistsfrequentlysentuschallengingpatientsand“treatmentfailures”(patientswhohavenotrespondedtoconventionaltreatments).

IGROANED INWARDLYWHENSuzannecametoseeme,referredbyanothertherapistwhowasatwits’endabouthowtohelpher.TherewerehardlyanyproblemsthatSuzannedidn’t have. Where to begin? When I asked Suzanne if there was anything that shewouldliketoaddressusingESM,shementionedherfreewaydrivingphobia.“I’dliketobeabletodriveonthehighwayagain,”shesaid.TenyearsearlierSuzannehadbeeninanaccidentinwhichshewasforcedoffthehighwaybyabig-rigtruck.Thebrokenlegand collar bone had healed, but since that day she hadn’t been able to drive on thefreewaywithouthavingapanicattack.Suzannehadprettymuchavoideddriving.Whendrivingwasunavoidable,sheusedsideroads.Itwasaseriouslimitationinherlife.

Without much hope that we would get results, given the depth and number ofcomplicating issues, I administered the treatment protocol for trauma. As we wentthroughtheprocess,Suzanneevaluatedheranxietylevelatseveralstepsalongtheway.Witheachstep, thefearevaporated,andwithinfifteenminutestheanxietywasgone.

Shewasastoundedbutstillcouldn’tbelievethatthefearwouldn’tcomefloodingbackonceshewasontheroad.

Next Iworkedwith Suzanne to install a positive cognition about highway driving,usingavariationof theprocedurewe’dusedtoeliminateherdistress.Thephraseshechosewas“Ienjoydrivingonthefreeway,”whichseemedpreposteroustoher.Onthedrive home Suzanne called on her cell phone to report that she felt great. “I hadforgottenhowwonderful itcanfeeltotravelquicklyandcomfortablyonthefreeway.Thankyou.”

STORIESLIKETHESEandthoseofhundredsofotherpeoplewhohavecalledorwrittentoreporttheirsurpriseandthankshaveinspiredustowritethisbook.

ESMworkswonderswithcommondistressandtheoftendeeplyingrainedemotionalpatterns that do not reach the threshold for professional intervention yet can beunproductive and can interfere with the enjoyment of life. It is a powerful tool fordealingwithhabitsandphobiasandforhelpingchildren.

ESM also works to facilitate other treatment modalities such as hypnosis andcognitivetherapy—eliminatingthedistressthatallowsthepersontoaccessinformation,emotions,thoughts,memories,andtoovercometheavoidancethatpreventscure.Abletothinkclearly,theycanreversedeep-rootedtraumasandunproductivebehaviors.

However, these methods are not meant to be a replacement for seeking qualifiedprofessional help for serious problems such as physical ailments, habitual substanceabuse, eating disorders, and serious pathologies including schizophrenia, majordepression, and bipolar disorders. The psychological component of addictive urges istreatable with ESM techniques, although other treatment approaches and skillsdevelopment may be necessary. While in these situations the procedures need to bereappliedperiodicallytheproblemofcompulsiveurgesseemstoimproveovertime.Thetreatments last longer, and the urges subside; clear thinking is restored. In treatinghabits andaddictiveurges, thepower to self-administer the treatments seems tobeacrucialfactorinsuccessfuloutcomes.

ALittleBackgroundonEmotionalSelf-Management

Thought Field Therapy is the umbrella term for a number of hybrid technologiesbasedonwhatAlbertEinsteinoriginallycalledthe“subtleenergy”systemsofthebody.ThesetherapiesarebasedonanunderstandingoftheEasternmeridiansystemsofthebodyand theway thatcognitive thoughtenergy fields interactwith thebody—where

energy, thought, and emotion overlap. Emotions, in this framework, are believed toresult from the influence of electromagnetic energy created by our thoughts and theelectricalandchemicalchangesthatoccurwithinthebody.

Asclinicians,weareinvolvedindevelopingandusingproceduresandtechniquesthatare safe, and which help people reduce or eliminate their stress. It is typical ofprofessionalsinthehealingartsthatweareinclinedtoapplywhatissafeandeffective,andtolookfortheexplanationlater.Thoughtenergytherapiesareevolvingevenasweusethemandcontinuetoexplorehowtheywork.

Among mental health professionals, Thought Field Therapy is rapidly gainingadvocates and practitioners. Attendance at workshops and public presentations—including those that we offer—is increasing rapidly. In our own practices, we haveadministeredwellover18,000treatments,withrepeat-able,reliableresults.EmotionalSelf-Managementprinciplesfitwithinthenewmodelofmind/bodyenergysystems.IndevelopingthetechniquesofESM,wehaveaddednewelementstothebasicThoughtField Therapy process that amplify its effects.We predict that in the next ten years,many therapies will incorporate the fundamentals of Thought Field Therapy, whichitself isabranchofwhat iscalledEnergyPsychology.Energytherapieswillevolvetobecome a standard approach for health care professionals, for athletes, for businessconsultants, for coaches and teachers—anyone interested in optimum performance.Theywill bewidely available for helping people remove blocks to enjoying happier,healthier,andmoreproductivelives.

AboutInstantEmotionalHealing

We’vedividedthebookintofoursections.PartIpresentsabroadpictureofthemanyapplications of Emotional Self-Management and of the learning process. Chapter 2examinestheparadigm,orframeofreference,onwhichESMisbasedanddiscussestheparadigmblindness thatkeepsus frommakingsense,anduse,of the informationanddiscoveries at our disposal. Chapter 3 explores the fascinating discoveries and energytheoriesbehindESMandpresents some ideasabouthow itworks.Youwill learn theBalanced Breathing exercise, along with the basic techniques for “tapping” at thedesignatedacupressuremeridiansitesusedinmostoftheprocedures.Theexerciseforcorrecting Polarity Reversals, which is the foundation step for addressing specificemotionalissues,ispresentedinChapter4.

EffectivelymanagingouremotionsisattheheartofInstantEmotionalHealing.PartIIdiscusses the role that emotions play in our lives. It looks at the importance ofemotionalhealth,thewaysinwhichemotionsgetstuckandoutofbalance,andhowwe

can attain mastery over our emotions. There are guidelines for correctly identifyingemotions, an importantpreliminary step to self-administering theESMprotocols.Youwill learn toaccuratelymeasure the levelofyourdistress,usingsomethingcalled theSubjectiveUnitsofDistressscale.Thereisinformationonhowtoworkwith“layered”emotionsastheyarise.Eachemotioniscross-referencedtotheappropriateprotocolinChapter9.Andyou’llfindthequick-fixRapidRelaxer,apotentstressreliever.

InPart IIIwe come to theheartof thematter: the emotion-specificESMprotocols.Chapter8takesyouonastep-by-steprun-throughofthebasicprocedureandtellsyoueverythingyouneed toknow toadminister theseproceduresyourself.You’ll learnalltherestofthe“tapping”siteshere.Chapter8alsoexplainshowtodiagnosedifficultiesandmakecorrectionsifyoudonotget immediateresults,andtellsyouwheretofindthehelpyouneed.Thetwenty-eightemotion-specificprotocolsappearinChapter9,onetoapage forquickreference.Chapter10details theFive-StepBreathingexercise, theremedyforpolaritydisorganization,whichcanhamperthesuccessofanytreatment.

Part IV opens with a chapter devoted to the performance and productivityapplicationsforESM.Follow-upandmaintenancearethesubjectsofChapter12,whichoffersasuggestedprogramforusingESMtomaintainoptimalemotionalhealthandtipsfordevelopingfluencyandconfidenceinthetechniques.You’llfindguidelinesonhowto teach, or administer, ESM techniques to others. Chapter 13 covers highly effectivewaystoworkwithchildrenusingESMtechniques.ThebookcloseswithavisionforthefutureofESMandenergytherapies.

Asnewdiscoveriesilluminatetheworkingsofthebrainandbody,novelapplicationsarebeing found for energy therapies. The techniques ofThought FieldTherapy are anaturalforself-administration,yetsofarnobookhastaughtpeopletousethesesimplepractices on their own.Wewrote this book so people everywhere can gain access totheseamazingtools.

Readersofthisbookwillbeattheleadingedgeofknowledgeandinformationaboutsubtle energy systems and Eastern ways of healing. We will not be surprised if thismethodandotherenergytherapieswilldoforpeoplewithemotionalpainwhataspirindidforphysicalpainearlierinthiscentury.

NOTE:Althoughwerefertoourselvesas“we”inthisbook,thepronoun“I”issometimesusedintheanecdotesandcasehistories.

PARTI

AllAboutEmotionalSelfManagement

W

ONE

CouldThisBeMagic?

AVietnamvet,solesurvivorandsolewitnesstothedeathofhisentiresquadduringafiercejunglebattle,tormentedbysurvivor’sguilt.Acollegesenior,distraughtoverthebreakupwithhishighschoolsweetheart,onthevergeofflunkingout.AprominentNFLplayerwantingtoimprovehisgamepeformance.Afour-year-oldgirl,jealousandthreatenedbyhernewadoptedbrother.Ahighlysuccessfulsixty-six-year-oldexecutivewhohaslivedhislifeunderacloudofdepressionandself-recriminationsinceaccidentallyshootinghisbestfriendwhenhewassixteen.Awomandangerouslypostponinganoperationbecausesheistoofrightenedtohavethesurgery.Ayounglawyerwhoseboyfriend’sslovenlyhabitsaredrivingherupthewall.A man with a history of panic attacks, dreading seeing his father at hisupcomingweddingaftermanyyearsofnotspeaking.

hat do these seemingly diverse people have in common? All ofthemexperiencedimmediateandlastingrelieffromtheirtroubles,

manyafteryearsofpainfulsuffering,usingthetechniquesofEmotionalSelf-ManagementSM.

TrueTalesofESM

Doestheideathatyoucaninstantlygetoveryourfearsoryoursadness,that you could feel more relaxed and balanced in your everyday life,sound toogood tobe true?Well,wemeanexactlywhat the title says:

instant emotional healing.When youmaster the skills presented in thisbook, you will be able to heal, often in one session, longstanding,troubling issues from your past: grief over a divorce, a phobia aboutfreewaydriving,a long-festeringangeroverabusinessdealgone sour.Youwillhaveasetoftoolstohelpyouimmediatelyhandletheday-to-daystressesofyour life:abumper-to-bumpercommute,acriticalboss,the remodelingofyourkitchen,youranxietyaboutpaying thebillsorthe presentation you have tomake atwork nextweek. Youwillworkmoreproductivelyandperformatahigherlevel.Instant healing? Even from lifelong problems? From fear and anxiety,angerand jealousyandphobias?Theseseemlikeextraordinaryclaims.But all of the people mentioned earlier were treated in our offices,typically in one to three sessions. To give you an idea of how themethodsofESMcanbeusedforawidevarietyofemotionalissues,fromminorirritationstomajortraumas,wearegoingtosharewithyouafewcases drawn fromour experiences. (Names and incidental details havebeenchangedtoprotecttheconfidentialityofourclients.)

Nearlythreeweeksafterheescapedhiskidnappers,Gunthercontinuedtobewithdrawnandfrightened.Whenhearrivedatmyoffice,heseemedlikeabrokenyoungman,hisshoulders hunched into the upturned collar of his leather jacket, his eyes dartingnervously around the room.Nightmares plagued his sleep; hewas unable to leave thehousewithout breaking into a cold sweat. It had been a horrific ordeal for thewholefamily, as they worried about Gunther and negotiated the terms and logistics of thesizableransomforhisreleasewiththenervousandoff-balancekidnappers.BythetimeGunthercametoseeme,Ihadalreadytreatedhismotherandsisterfortheirownstressand sleeplessness. “Howoften do I have to comehere?” he asked. “I don’t knowhowmanytimesIcancomeback.”AtfirstIthoughtGuntherwassodisorientedthathewasworried about the expense that his family would incur. But, I soon learned, he wasterrifiedofbeingtakencaptiveagain.WhenItoldhimthatwhatwasupsettinghimnowwouldbegonebythetimeheleftinthenexthour,hedidn’tbelieveme.Wequicklywentthroughtheprotocolfortrauma,repeatingthesequenceforacoupleofparticularly terrifyingmemories of his time in captivity. He recalled the daywhen hisskittishandalcohol-fueledcaptorsboundandblindfoldedhimandmovedhimfromplacetoplacefourtimesinthetrunkofacar;amorningwhentheythoughttheywerebeingtrickedbyGunther’sfamilyandthreatenedtokillhimrightthenandthere.BytheendofthesessionGunther’swholedemeanorhadchanged.Herelaxedinhischair,wherebefore

hehadbeenstiffandwatchful.Forthefirsttime,hewasabletospeakabouthisordealwithouthisheartpounding.Althoughstillsubdued,hesmiledandthankedme.TheGuntherwhoreturnedtoseemeafewdayslaterseemedlikeadifferentperson.Hewasagaintheconfidentandrenownedfinancier,makingplansforamajornewproject.The nightmares had not returned since the first treatment. He reported that since ourmeeting,aftertheweeksofstoicismsinceheescapedhiscaptors,hefinallyhadbeenabletocry.Hehadspentmanyhoursduringthepastfewdaystalkingwithhisfamily;theylearnedeverydetailofhiscaptivity,andtheytoldhimabouttheirordealandtheirfearforhislifewhenitlookedliketheransomdropoffhadbeenbotched.Therewasmore healingwork ahead forGunther and for his family.We continued toworktogetherforthreemoresessions,asthelayersofguilt,fear,andangersurfaced.ButGunther was himself again. He was no longer being held prisoner by feelings andmemoriesthatwereblockedfromhisawareness.

*

A business friend sent his secretary to us for help. For three years Amanda had beenunabletogetoverherbreakupwithaboyfriendwhohadleftherforanotherwoman.Shethought about him obsessively and found it nearly impossible to concentrate at work.(Hence the recommendation fromherboss.)Shewasn’tdatingand sleptpoorlydue torecurrent dreams about her lost love. In the past year she had become progressivelyreclusiveanddepressed.Inshort,Amandawassufferingfromabrokenheart.

I taught Amanda how to self-administer a simple sequence of tapping on specificmeridian points while she focused on her problem. (That was easy for her to do.) IwatchedasAmanda’sanxietyleveldropped,andherjawrelaxed.Withinafewminutesshesaid,“Ifeellikeaweighthasbeenliftedoffme.Ihaven’tbeenabletostopthinkingabouthimforthreeyears.”

Amandacalledthenextdaytoreportthatshestillfeltasgoodasshehadintheoffice,andshe’dgottenagoodnight’ssleepforthefirsttimeinaverylongwhile.Aweeklatershecalledagaintosay“Icanhardlybelieveit.IfeellikeI’vegottenmylifebackagain.Idon’t knowwhathappened, but I’mnot thinkingabouthim like Iwas. In fact, I can’tunderstandnowwhyIwassoobsessed.Hewasreallyajerk.Thankyouforhelpingmeliveagain.”

*

Marisa’smotherbroughthertoseemebecauseshewasanxiousandafraidofspending

thenightawayfromhome.Everytimeshe’dgoforasleepovertoafriend’shouse,she’dbecomenervousandfrightenedasdarknessdescendedandwouldhavetocallherparentstocomeandgether.Foratwelve-year-old,thiswasembarrassing.Marisawassureherfriendswerelaughingatherbehindherback.

AsItaughtMarisatheprocedureforanxiety,shebegantolaugh,andgavemea“high-five”asweprogressedthroughthetappingsequences.Wemadeprogressquickly,andIshowedMarisa a special tap she could use if any problems came up.When we werefinished,Marisasmiledandsaidtohermother,“I’mnotscaredthinkingabout it.”Shelooked puzzled for a moment, then announced, “And I want to go to Amber’s thisweekend.”

IalsoshowedMarisa’smotherhowtousethesetechniquestohelpherinfantson,who,as theywere leaving theoffice,begancrying inconsolablyThe followingweekMarisa’smother called to say her daughter had had a wonderful sleepover and could hardlybelievetheproblemwasgonesoquickly.

*

Joleenwas terrifiedof flying,oneofhermanyanxieties,butnowshewasplanning tovisitrelativesinEurope.Shearrivedattheofficeinacoldsweat.Sointensewasherfearthatshecouldnotevencarrytheairlineticketsinherpurse.Herhusbandwasoutinourreception area holding them. Joleen asked dozens of questions and demandedexplanations about the treatment before shewould letme proceed. Finally she calmeddownandletmeadministertheprotocolsforfearofflyingandflightturbulence.Asherfearsubsided,herastonishmentshowedonher face.Butshewanted to test theresults.“Can I go out and get the tickets?” she asked. She went out to the reception area toretrievetheticketsfromherhusbandandcamebackbeaming.“Thisisamazing.Lookatme,Ifeelfine.Alittlewhileagotheseticketsmademesoanxious,theywerelikeholdingelectricityinmyhand.”

AfewweekslaterJoleencalledtosaythatherflighttoEuropewascomfortable.Shealsoreportedthatwhileshewasthereshehadlearnedofadeathinthefamilyand,inspiteofthatupsettingnews,herflighthomewasasfreefromfearastheflightover.

*

Ben had a lifelong inability to swallow pills, a major problem for a weight lifter and“health nut.”A thirty-five-year-old engineer, he gaggedand choked on even the tiniesttablets.Eitherhehadtofindvitaminsandmedicationsinliquidform,orhewentthrough

thetime-consumingprocessofgrindingthemintopowder,whichoftentasteddisgusting.

Bencametotheofficepreparedtotestthetherapy,withaliterofwaterandacouplebottles of vitamin pills of varying sizes. After going through the thought-focusing andtappingprocedures,Benstaredatthebottleofvitaminsandsaid,“IthinkIcanswallowonenow.”Heplacedapillinhismouthandtookagulpofwaterfromtheplasticbottle.Foramomentheheldthewater inhismouthandheldhisbreath,preparinghimselftogag,ashe’ddoneinthepast.Heswallowed.Thedeepfurrowsofanticipationsmoothedfromhisbrowandhegrinned.“Itwasallright,”hesaid.“Ididn’tfeellikechoking,andmy throat didn’t close. I can do this.” His confidence improved as he continued toswallowmore“test”pillsintheoffice.TwoweekslaterBencalledtoreportthathewasdoingfineswallowinghisvitamins.

*

Sandy,asuccessfulexecutiveatasoftwarefirm,wasconsumedbyangerandfrustrationover divorce negotiations for custody of her children.Her rage at her ex-husbandwasunderminingherabilitytoarriveatareasonablesolution.Evenherattorneythoughtshewas wasting money and that the intensity of her anger was keeping her from havingrealisticexpectations.ItwasherlawyerwhoconvincedSandytocometoouroffice.

Sandydidn’tknowwhattoexpectbuttoldmeshewaspreparedformetotalkheroutofheranger.Instead,Iaskedherifshewouldbeopentotryinganewtechniquetohelpher feel more composed and comfortable. She rolled her eyes to signify her lowexpectations and resignation. As I corrected for polarity reversals, Sandy was stillskeptical.Everystepoftheway,she’dsay“Howcanthispossiblyhelp?”Iaskedifshefelt any change. She shrugged her shoulders and said she wasn’t sure, but gave mepermission to goahead. I could tellSandywaswatching the clockandanticipatingnochange. I applied the formula for anger, which took about seven minutes. Sandyexperiencedsomemildreliefasherangersubsided.Butthen,tohersurprise,guiltabouttheamountof time shewas spendingatwork cameup, guilt aboutnot spendingmoretime involved with her son’s activities. We continued, applying the protocol for guilt.Whentheguiltlifted,Sandybegantofeelgriefandhurtatherhusband’srejection.Layerby layer during the session, we treated the distressing emotions covered by the initialangerandrage.

Thereferringattorneycalledafewdayslatertosay“Idon’tknowwhatyoudidwithSandy, but when I saw her she was calm and able to stay focused on the process ofcustody arrangements in a way she’d never done before. She did seem sad about thesituation, but thenegotiationsweremoreproductive thanduringanyothermeetings in

thepast.”

TenAmazingFactsAboutESM

We havemanymore stories like these to sharewith you.Meanwhile,here are ten amazing things about the processwe call Emotional Self-Management.

1. ESMworksforvirtuallyanyemotionalissue—and,bytheway,forjetlag,nasalcongestion,hiccups,andpremenstrualsyndrome(PMS).

2. ESMworksforessentiallyanyissueofproductivityorpeformance,fromtakingtests,topublicspeaking,toplayingbetterhockey.

3. ESMisado-it-yourselftherapeutictool.Notherapistrequired.4. Theprocesses takeanywhere from fifteen seconds to fifteenminutes toadminister.Whenyouaredone, inmanycases theproblemwillbegoneforever.

5. ESM is totally portable..You can do it anywhere, without tools orequipment.

6. You don’t ever have to talk about what is bothering you. Privacy isguaranteed.

7. Youdon’thavetounderstandthecause,orsource,oftheproblem.ESMwillwork,evenifyoudonotknowwhyyoufeelthewayyoudo.

8. ESM processes are effective with children, even infants; and you canteachESMtofriendsandcolleagues.

9. ESM is reliable and predictable. If you learn the techniques andpracticethemcorrectly,youwillseeresults.

10. 10.ESMhasnonegativesideeffects.Noonehaseverbeenharmedbythesepractices.

WeourselvesarestillamazedatthepowerofESM.Althoughbetweenuswehavenearlyfortyyearsofclinicalexperience,nothingbeforehasproducedtheimmediateandpowerfulresultsofESM.Attheendofthefirst week after we began using these techniques, our secretary said,“You’vegottostopcuringpeoplesofast.You’reseeingsomanypatientsforonlyoneortwovisits,what’sgoingtohappen?”

It’s true thatESMhas radicallychangedourpractices.Westilluseavariety of tools in our work—cognitive therapy, hypnosis, and othertraditional techniques, plus Eye Movement DesensitizationReprocessingTM as well as the ESM techniques, depending on theparticular problem.We continue toworkwith clientswho are dealingwith serious and complex issues,whomwe see for longerperiods.Butthesedayswehaveaveryhighclientturnoverrate,andweseealargenumberofpeopleforanywherefromonetofourvisits.We still have a clientwaiting list, though.When people hear about

this amazing instant self-help therapy, they want to learn it forthemselves. Some clients come reluctantly, with little hope of solvingproblems they may have had for decades. When they see howmiraculously it works, they want to deal with all their accumulatedproblems, big and small. Soon they’re saying “Hey, can you dosomethingformygolfgame?”(Yes,wecan.SeeChapter11.)Nexttheysend their spouses,and friends,andbring their children.The reality isthatwearedelightedwithourrapidpatientturnover.WecontinuetobeexcitedaboutESM.Itisthrillingwhenourclients

leavetheofficewithouttheproblemsthathave,inmanycases,hauntedthem for years, andwith skills that give them a sense ofmastery andconfidence. It is a great feeling to be able to offer these life-changingskills, toseeourclientsbreak freeofneedlesspainandsuffering,onceandforall.Tobethemselvesagainaftersomanyyears.Tobehappy.

WhyNotBeHappy?

Thepursuitofhappinessisconsideredaninalienableright,butformanypeopleitscaptureremainselusive.Althoughwewanttobehappy,andalthoughwe spend a big chunk of our lives, and our time and energyand money, doing everything we can think of to find happiness, itremainsoutof reach.Oftenweareanxious,angry, frustratedwithourjobs,boredinourrelationships,enviousofothers.Wegettiredoftryingso hard and yet feeling so bad, and are disappointed that things haveturnedoutastheyhave.We’veworkedhard.Wedotherightthingbyourfriendsandfamilies,asbestwecan.Butstillthereareproblemsandconflictsanddisappointments.Thenewcar,thecruisevacation,thenew

facecream,theseasonticketstotheballparkortheoperahaven’tdonethe trick. Most frustrating of all, even the years of therapy and thedozens of self-help books have done little more than help make lifetolerableandperhapsmoreunderstandable.Wewant tobe all thatwe canbe.Butwe’ve lost theway, orneverfound it, and our dreams feel increasingly out of reach. We feelpowerless to change, unable to make our lives work in the way weenvisioned.Soweresignourselvestoasortofhalf-life,apaleshadowofwhatweexpectedandhopedfor.

RestoringEmotionalBalance

Whatwedon’toftenrecognizewhenwearecaught inourproblems isthat,despiteoureffortstoseekhappiness,wearelockedinoldpatterns—old beliefs, oldways of thinking and doing things, oldwounds, oldmemories— that unconsciously undermine our conscious desire to behappyandfreeofsuffering.Weareatthemercyofourpasthistory.Thedeeply entrenched patterns and beliefs of our past are like an anchorsunkinthemudoftheseabottom,slowingoureverymove.Wefeeloffbalance,reactingoutofhabitandfear,rarelyincontrol.Wemaynotbecompletelystuck,butthepowerfulundertowsureslowsusdown.Ouremotionssetusapartfrommostothercreaturesandareasmucha component of our “intelligence” as our intellectual prowess.Psychologist and author Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., uses the term“emotional IQ” to compareour emotional intelligence toour cognitiveIQ.Whenour emotions arenot in balance,weget the same results aswhenourbrainsarenotoperatingwell:Wedostupidandunproductivethings.All organisms seek to maintain health and equilibrium. When thesystem is working efficiently, the organism’s natural tendency is forintenseemotionstoariseandthentodissolve,sothatcalmandbalancearereestablished.Itisanaturalcorrectiveprocedure.Wegetangry,ourtempersflare,thestormpasses,andwecalmdown.Weseeasnake,ouradrenalinesurges.Thenreasonkicksin,werealizeitisharmless,andwebreathe deeply again. Stalled in traffic,we’re irritated becausewe arealreadylateforameeting;butthenwerealizethere’snothingwecando

aboutit,andwecalmdown.Sometimes, though, the stressful emotion persists. Angry with ourdaughter fornot cleaningher roomagain,we stormaround thehousefordays,unabletotalkwithheraboutourfrustration.Wecan’tgoforawalkinthewoodsbecausetheveryideaofasnakemakesourheartbeatwildly and our palms sweat. Try as we might to stay calm, thefrustration of crawling along in stalled traffic leaves us limp andexhaustedattheoffice.Strong,unrelentingemotionsthatdon’tsubsidedepleteus.Theywasteenergy that we could spend having fun and enjoying our lives. Theycolorourrelationshipsandundermineourperformance.Wewanttostopblowingourtop,orbeingjealous,orbeingfrozenwithanxiety,butwedon’tseemabletobreakthehabit,despiteourbestintentions.Likethesong that we can’t get out of our mind, automatic response patternsbecomelockedintoourmindsandbodies.Theyjustkeepgoingaroundin circles, seemingly without an escape route. Always with the samemessage,alwayselicitingthesamereaction,everwaitingtospringoutatus.Likepuppetsonastring,wearetrappedintheseknee-jerkresponses.

THE PREMISE OF thought energy therapies is that these emotional loops areembeddedinthemind/bodyenergysystem.Wheneverthatexperienceisactivated,evenjustatinyaspectofit—viaathought,thesightorsoundof something reminiscent of it—the memory of the whole experiencecomes flooding back, with all the unpleasant and disturbing emotionsandphysiologicalsensationsassociatedwithit.Awomanwhohasbeenrapedcandevelopapanic reaction toanymanwearinga stripedshirtlikeherattackerwore.AVietnambattleveteranhearstheslammingofadoorasabombdroppingbehindhim.Anangryexpressiononourlover’sface calls to mind the full weight of our parents’ disapproval. Whentraumaticemotionalexperiencesareblockedfrombeingdissipated,theycan show up as anxiety and sweaty palms and a pounding heart, asnightmaresorobsessiverumination.

ESMtotheRescue

Energymanagedwellisproductive;energyoutofbalanceisasourceofstress, for ourselves and for those around us. Emotional Self-Management works by unblocking the trapped emotional feedback“loops”sothattheflowofenergyisrestoredandthebodyreturnstoitsnatural state of physical and emotional balance. Based on the premisethatmindandbodyareoneintelligentandfullycommunicatingsystem,ESM procedures involve a combination of tappingwith the fingers onemotion-specificenergymeridians in thebody thatareassociatedwithacupuncture.Theseacupuncturesiteshavebeenfoundtobeassociatedwith particular emotions. Don’t worry; as with acupressure, a similartechnique, there are no needles involved! While doing the tappingsequence, youwill actively think about your distress andwill in somecasesrepeatspecificstatementsofintention.Thetappingaddsenergytothesystemattheproperplaceatthepropertime—whentheproblemisbrought to mind and envisioned—and enables the blockage ordisturbancetobedissolved.TheenergyoftheESMproceduredislodgesthetrappedthoughtsandallowsthenaturalbalanceandflowofenergytoresume,bringingimmediate—instant—relief.Another core principle of thought energy therapies is that the body

hasapolarity,anorthandsouthpole, just likeabatteryoramagnet.Stressandmanyothercircumstancescauseourpolaritiestogetreversedand prevent us from healing, even when we are trying hard to makechanges.Justaswhenanelectronicdeviceispluggedinthewrongway,whenourpolaritiesarereversed,normaloperation isaffected.Polarityreversals can interfere with thought, emotion, and behavior. Beforedealingwiththeemotion-specificissues,anESMexercisecorrectstheseinhibitingpolarityreversals.AcompleteESMtreatmentsequenceisreferredtoasaprotocol.Bythe

timeyougettothefullprotocolsinChapter8,youwillhavelearnedallthe auxiliary exercises andprocedures youwill need to self-administerthem.TheESMprocessdoesnotchangeyourknowledgeoftheproblemand

doesnoteraseappropriatefeelingsassociatedwithit.Iteliminatesonlyirrational thoughts, not natural self-protectiveness. When ESM curesyourfearofheights,youwillnotbetemptedtojumpoffacliff.

Gina’sfearofheightswassointensethatshewasnotabletospendtheweekendswithherboyfriend,adevotedoutdoorsman.ButthedayafterwetreatedGinaforheracrophobia,shehikedseveralmilesupasteepridge.“Itwasagloriousday,”shereported,“andIwasso thrilled tobe standingon topof thatmountain, lookingoutover the lake. Ihaven’tbeenabletogoonhikeslikethatforoverfifteenyears.Wewerestandingataroped-inoutlook spot and Iwas completely comfortable. Butwhen I tried to step foot over therope,Iimmediatelyfeltscared,untilIsteppedbacktoasafeplaceandfeltateaseagain.IguessIstillhaveahealthyfearandIwon’tdoanythingreckless.”

ThespeedwithwhichESMproceduressolveproblemsmystifiesmanyof our clients. ESM brings instant relief because, in removing thelongstanding disturbance, it puts an end to the vicious circle ofemotionalreactivityattachedtothethought.Theendlessloopisbroken.Whethertheproblemhasbeenthereforadayoradecade,itdissolves;thedisturbanceisnotstrongerbecauseit’sbeentherealongtime.The disturbance, or blockage, can be compared to a boulder in a

stream.Waterwillflowaroundit,butthebouldercausesturbulenceandslowsthewaterdown.Removetheboulder,andthewaterflowsfreely.ESMremovesthebouldersimpedingthesmoothflowofyouremotionalenergy.

You’veGottoBeKidding!

By now you may be saying, “Tapping on my meridians? Thoughtenergy?You’vegottobekidding.”Well,wearenotkidding,butwecanunderstandhowbizarreitmaysound.ESMisanontraditionalapproach,very much outside the box of conventional scientific and medicalunderstanding.Whenpeoplehave troublebelieving that this treatmentcan work, they are experiencing what is called a paradigm problem:Their understanding of the way the universe operates has no way ofexplaining the likes of ESM. Often people just filter out that whichdoesn’tfitintotheirworldview.If this iswhat you are experiencing as you read this, recognize that

you’re not alone. Many of our clients had a hard time believing theresults they were getting, even when they’d just experienced ESMthemselves. They too had no frame of reference with which to

understand it. Now they say, “I can’t believe thisworks sowell.Whydidn’t I know about this?” Paradigm blindness also explains why youdon’tseeenergytherapieswrittenuponthefrontpagesofthepaper—yet.But with understanding and exposure, things change. Not so many

yearsago,wewereattheyou’ve-got-to-be-kiddingstageourselves,andsometimeswearestillastoundedattherapidcuresthatESMproduces.

BraveNewWorld

In our fast-moving world, we are used to seeing major changes, newdevelopments,andwholenewtechnologiescomeandgowiththespeedof e-mail. As the world becomes smaller, more easily and quicklyaccessed,EastistrulymeetingWest.Whenseniorcitizensarelooseningup with T’ai Chi, and American Buddhism is the topic of a Timemagazinecover,youknowyou’renotinKansasanymore.Alossoffaithinthemiraclesofconventionalmedicineandskyrocketingcostshaveledmany people to seek alternative or complementary therapies. It’s aninformed—andopen-minded—publicthathaspushedfortheacceptanceof alternative treatments and that spends more money on thesemodalities than on conventional treatments. Todaywe’re seeingwideracceptance of herbs and biofeedback and even massage therapy. (Ofcourse,therearestillpractitionerswhorefusetoacknowledgeeventheefficacy of vitamins in health and wellness.) Chiropractic, anothercomplementary approach to healing and relief, endured its share ofderision before establishing a place in clinical practice, with mostinsurersnowofferingcoverage.We all owe a debt to people like Herbert Benson, M.D., Deepak

Chopra,M.D.,NormanCousins,Ph.D.,AndrewWeil,M.D,CarolynMyss,Ph.D., Ernest Rossi, Ph.D., Larry Dossey M.D, Norman Shealy M.D,Ph.D.,Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., Bernie Siegel, M.D, and many others,whose research and books have introduced millions of people tomind/body approaches to healing and health. In 1997 the NationalInstitutes of Health finally gave the green light to acupuncture as atreatmentforpainandnausea.Nowthismeridianenergysystemtherapycan be used inmainstream clinical settings such as veterans hospitals

and is reimbursable by Medicare and other conventional healthcaredeliverysystems.Theonce-controversialEyeMovementDesensitizationand Reprocessing (EMDR) has demonstrated its effectiveness incontrolled studies and has received significant coverage in themedia,including a feature segment on the television program 20/20. Therecognition of such therapies paves the way for the visibility andcredibilityofthoughtenergytherapies,onwhichESMisbased.ESMisat the leadingedgeofawholenewapproach tohealing that

combines elements of cognitive therapy with the latest thinking ineverything from themind/body connection, to subtle energy theories,electromagnet-ism, polarity, neuropeptide chains, acupuncture, andquantumphysics.ItisnotnecessarythatyoufullyunderstandorbelieveinthetheoreticalfoundationofESM.Thetechniqueswillworkwhetheryoubelieveinthemornot.Youdon’thavetounderstandradiowavestolistentoanFMstation.Butthereareacoupleofgoodreasonstolearnmoreabouthowand

whyESMworks.One, it’s fascinating information; learning about howESM works is a drug-free way to expand your mind. Two, and mostimportant,understandinghowESMworkswillgiveyouconfidenceinitsabilitytoworkforyouandlikelywillincreaseitseffectivenessbecausewetendtomorefrequentlyusethemethodsthatfitwithinourviewoftheworld.Chapters2and3areallaboutthetheoriesbehindESM.

EmotionalPowerTools

Self-management is the key to emotional well-being, and ESM is themost powerful self-management tool we have ever come across. ESMbreakstheemotionalgridlockthatkeepsouremotionsfromrebalancingand that keeps us from using our emotions intelligently andproductively. When you have learned the ESM procedures and triedthem out on a few of the issues you are dealing with, you will feelconfident that you can copewith anything that comesup in your life.You won’t have to suffer needlessly, and you won’t feel exposed andvulnerable.Justfeelingthatyouhavemorecontrolinyourlifebringsitsown sense of comfort and relief. When problems come up or stressesrecur,youcantreatyourselfinminutes.

Youwillfindthatasyouusethesemethods,youwillbuildabaseofconfidenceandemotionalstabilitythatmakesyourliferunsmoother.Byreducingoreliminatingtheemotionaldistresssurroundingtheissuesofeverydaylife,youwillbeabletothinkmoreclearlyandproductivelyA good example of this is a woman who came to us who had just

taken the bar examination for the second time to become an attorneyShecouldn’tconcentrateonherworkandcouldn’tsleep,worryingaboutwhether she’dpassed. Shedidn’t knowhow she’dget through the twomonthsuntiltheresultswereposted.Immediatelyafterwetreatedher,secondsafter,shesaid,“Youknow,Idon’tknowwhyitdidn’toccurtomesooner.I’vegonethroughthisbefore.Icanjustletgo.IntwomonthsI’ll know the results. So like I did last time, I’ll just put it out ofmymind. It’snotdoingmeanygoodtoworry.”Nowwhycouldn’tshedothat ten minutes before? Because an encoded emotional loop waspreventingher fromthinkingclearly.Once thedisturbancewasbrokenup,shehadaccesstoinformationthatwasn’tavailabletoherjustafewminutesearlier.

LearningtoUseESM

Firstofall,wewanttoreassureyouthatESMproceduresareabsolutelysafe.Youcannotdoanyharmbyperformingtheproceduresincorrectly,by doing a procedure for an incorrectly identified issue, by doing anexerciseyoudon’tneed,orbydoingit toofrequently.Canyoueattoomanyvegetables?Thebodyseekscalmandbalance.It’salmostasif,likesomewind-up toys that allow the coil to slip ifwound too tightly,wehave a built-in safety mechanism that self-corrects. If you do theprocedures as directed, youwill get results, virtually instantly. In fact,theproceduresarequiteforgiving;youdon’thavetodothemperfectlyforthemtowork.Buthere’sthecatch:Whiletheproceduresthemselvestakeonlyashort

time to perform, we strongly recommend that you spend some timelearninghowtodothemproperly.Becausetheseskillsaresounfamiliar,there’s a learning curve involved inmastering them. Try to rememberthe last time you tried to learn something new—golf, tennis, sewing,Italian. Even if itwas a simple skill, chances are you felt awkward at

first. And then the time came when it was easy and natural. So bepatientwithyourself,andhavereasonableexpectations.You may have purchased this book because you have a pressingproblem, and you want help right now. We will be showing you aBalanced Breathing exercise and a Rapid Relaxer that you can doquickly,atanytime,ontheirown.Butevenifyouaretemptedtoskiprighttotheexerciseinstruc-tions,wesuggestthatyoufirstreadthroughthebook,tobecomefamiliarwiththetheoreticalfoundationofESMandto learn the skills correctly.Wewant you to get great results on yourfirstattemptatESM,sothatyouwilldevelopconfidenceinitsabilitytohelp you. The learning process itself provides a foundation forcompetence and self-acceptance. The more prepared you are the firsttimeyoutryESM,thegreateryourchancesofimmediatesuccess.Don’tsabotageyourchancesbyjumpingaheadtooquickly.Theextratime—andrestraint—willpayoff.AsyoutrytheESMprocedures,youmayfeelsillydoingthetappingand talking (and on occasion, rolling your eyes and humming!). Butremember,noonehastoseeyou;noonehastoknowwhatyou’reupto.Whenyouseeresults,theprocesswon’tseemsillyatall.Withpracticeyouwillbeabletodotheproceduresquicklyandquietly,soyoucanusethemalmostanywhere.WeourselvesuseESM inavarietyofways, torelieveemotionaltensionandtobeaseffectiveaswecan.Eventoplayandhavefun.Butyouaren’tlikelytoseeustappingonthestreetsofLaJolla.If you are wondering whether you can get the kind of results wediscussinthisbook,outsideofaclinicalsetting,theanswerisyes.Inaclinical settingwe are able to take into account all relevant factors ofourclients’histories,andwehavesomesophisticatedtoolswithwhichtodiagnosetheproblemsthatneedsolving.Also,attimesacombinationofmodalitiesoffersclientsthebestchanceoffullrecovery.Sometimes,forexample,itisimportantthatpeopletalkaboutwhathashappenedtothem. One woman, for example, who had only recently seen herhusband die a violent death, needed to recount her experience fullybeforeshecouldputtheESMtechniquestouse.SometimesweuseESMto better facilitate another treatment approach, such as hypnosis orEMDR.

Butwealsoteachourclientshowtoapplytheseproceduresontheirown, and they report the samehigh level of success.Wehaveworkedoverthetelephonewithpeoplewehavenevermet.Othershavelearnedthese procedures from our audiotapes or from written instructions. Itdoes not seem tomatter how a person learns ESM for themethods towork.ESMtoolsareusefulinallarenasoflife—inwork,play,andlove—andwitheveryone,fromyourspousetoyouraccountant.Youwillfindthat,usingESM,youarelessreactive,andcanhandlewhatevercomesupinyour life. Kids also love this method, they don’t just tolerate it.Normally,childrenarenottoothrilledaboutcomingtoashrink’soffice.ButwhentheytryESM,especiallywhenweshowthem“proof”thatit’sworking with muscle testing (more on this in Chapter 2), they areamazed. Adolescents, especially, find it very cool. The sense of self-controlandindependenceisempowering. It’s fun, it’sdifferent, it’snotjustsittingandtalking;theyaredoingsomethingimportant.We want Instant Emotional Healing to give you the benefit ofeverything we have learned in our years of practice, teaching, andresearch.Considerusyourcoachesasyoulearnthisnewskill.Ourgoalis to provide you with not only the tools and the techniques but theencouragement and intention to achieve emotional well-being. If youapplythetechniquesofESM,wearecertainthatyouwillclearapathtothefreedomandhappinessyouseek.

I

TWO

ParadigmandPedigree

TheRoadtoESM

f in the early 1960s you’d been asked to name the country mostfamous for its watches, you would likely have answered

“Switzerland.”At that timeSwitzerland,makerof three-quartersof theworld’s watches, had been the leading watch producer for over acentury.Then, in the mid-1960s, an engineer for a Swiss watchmaking firm

discoveredthatasmallelectricalcurrentputtoacertaintypeofcrystalwouldcauseittovibrateataconstantfrequencyWhenherealizedthatthe frequency was so steady and reliable that it could be used tocalibratetime,hebroughtittotheattentionofhisemployers.“Does it have gears?” they inquired. “Amainspring? Bearings?” His

discoveryboreno resemblance toany timepiecewithwhich theywerefamiliar.Surethatnoonewouldbeinterestedinsuchadeviantdevice,theydidn’tevenbothertoprotecttheideawithapatent.At a trade show soon thereafter, the engineer set up a table to

demonstrate his invention. Hundreds of people passed by his smalldisplay,but twoattendeesstoppedtotalk:onefromTexas InstrumentsandonefromJapan’sSeikoCorporation.Therest,astheysay,ishistory.Bythemid-1970sSwitzerland’sshareofthewatchmarkethadshrunkto10 percent, and tens of thousands of Swisswatchmakerswere lookingforanewtrade.What happened? There was a paradigm shift—a change in the

framework of understanding of how things work. The Swisswatchmakersweresocaughtintheiroutdatedworldviewthattheyhadnowaytograspthisnewvisionfortheirproduct.

Theinabilitytoseeoutsidetheboxofourprejudices—forultimatelythat’swhattheyare—hasalwaysbeenafactorintheacceptanceofnewideas. When, early in the century the Wright brothers begandemonstrating their flyingmachines, neighbors showedup to laugh astheirstrangecontraptionsskimmedandbumpedacrossthegrassyslopesofKittyHawk.Scientistsatthattimeconcludedthatthemachineswereatbest impractical,perhapsevenahoax.Military leaderswho showedupcouldseenoapplicationfortheseclumsycraft.TheNewYorkHeraldscoffed at the bicycle-mechanic brothers, and the prestigious ScientificAmericanmagazinederided theirclaimthataheavier-than-airmachinecouldflyIt is our good fortune that every era has had bold researchers andthinkerswillingtoexploretheunexplained,eventheirrational,inordertobringrationalunderstandingtowhatwasonceamystery.Manynewinventionsandtechnologies—fromthewheel,tothecombustionengine,to the microchip— have revolutionized our lives. Yet many of thesediscoverieshavebroughtridiculeandostracismfortheirdiscoverersandchampions.

ASubtleEnergyCrisis

Discoveries having to do with subtle energies—barely detectable anddifficult tomeasure, the kind of energy involved in ESM—have had arocky road to legitimacy. In the 1840s the German scientist KarlReichenbach, known for isolating paraffin oil for use as a fuel, wasintroduced to a young woman who appeared to be able to identify amagneticfield,orwhathecalled“vitalforces.”Healsofoundfourotherwomenwithsimilarabilitiestoperceivethesefields.AcontemporaryofReichenbach, the Scottish surgeon James Braid, concluded that thesewomen were experiencing nothing more than the effects of hypnoticsuggestion. Since this explanation was more understandable to theircontemporaries,Reichenbach’sstudieswerediscounted.About fifty years later, English physician Walter Kilner wasexperimentingwith thenewly inventedX-raymachine, using a specialblue filter over photographic film. He detected an unusual radiationaround living people, which he called “the human atmosphere,” as a

wayofdissociatinghimself fromthehoogly-booglyworldof theoccultandthetaintedword“aura.”Somuchforhiscareer.TheBritishMedicalJournalofJanuary1912,inreviewinghisbook,TheHumanAtmosphere, concluded that “Dr.Kilnerhas failed to convince us that his aura is more real than Macbeth’svisionarydagger.”KilnerresignedhispositionatStThomas’s,London’sleadingteachinghospital,andretreatedtoasmall-townprivatepracticewithhisbrother.Physician Wilhelm Reich didn’t fare any better. His exploration of“bio-energy”earnedhimtheraredistinctionofhavinghisbooksbannedtwice,firstinthe1930sbytheNazis,whocondemnedhimasaJew,acommunist, and—big mistake—for talking too much about sex andorgasms.Reich fled Germany for America, where he proposed that what hecalled “orgone” energy existed throughout the universe in all livingthings.Reich soongot in trouble forhavinghispatients spend time inhis “Orgone Accumulator,” a roomlike container he claimed wouldincrease their vital orgone energies. Again, the sexual overtones weretoo much. First the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) banned thedevice in the1950s (theFDAseemed tobeona scientificwitchhunt,concurrentwiththeMcCarthyhearings),sayingithadnoeffect.Thenitbanned his books and all reference to his work, a ban that continueduntil1960.Meanwhile,inRussiainthe1960s,scientistSemyonKirlianinventedacamera that seemed to show energy emitted by living tissue in thepresence of high-voltage, high-frequency electronic cycles. Hisphotographs reveal a fascinating pattern of electron energy radiationthatappears,well,likeanaura,onthephotographicplate.PerhapsthemostincredibleaspectofKirlian’sworkiswhatisknownas the“phantom leaf”effect.Anordinary leaf justplucked froma treeshows a distinct radiation pattern, withwhat seem like flares of lightemanatingfromallaroundtheedgesoftheleafandthestem.Astheleafdies,theflaringdiminishes.Here’stheamazingpart.Whenafreshleafiscutandonlyapartofaleaf is photographed, the resulting photograph also shows the missing

portionoftheleaf.BecauseKirlian’sworkisoffthecharts,therehasbeenlittleinterestinfollowinguponhisresearch.TheonlygoodnewsisthatwhileKirlianhasnotwonanyNobelPrizes,neitherhashebeencasttothesciencesharksorridiculedintoobscurity.Criticsmerelydismisshisfindingsas“notreallyallthatimportant.”Chapter 3 will look at new evidence indicating that these subtle

energiesarereallyquiteimportantandpowerfulafterall.

IsScienceLeadingorFollowing?

The inability of people to grasp a newparadigm, even one that couldexplain formerlymysterious phenomena, has kept them frompursuingirrefutablefindings.Prevailingviewpointsblindmanyscientiststotruthsthat exist outside theirmodel for explaining evenwhat is right beforetheireyes.Theannalsofscienceandtechnologyarelitteredwith“falsepredictions”anddiscreditedresearchers:

In 1893 Berlin physician Carl Schlik was laughed out of theauditorium at a medical conference when he proposed that localanesthesiawaspossible.In1899theheadoftheU.S.PatentOffice,CharlesDowell,urgedina letter to President Grover Cleveland that “everything has beeninventedalready.Letusclosedownthepatentoffice.”Hemusthavebeen pretty well convinced; it’s the rare bureaucrat who willvoluntarilyputhimselfoutofajob.RobertMilliken,whowasawardedthe1923NobelPrizeinphysics,declared that “there’s no likelihood that man can ever split theatom.”And in 1977 Kenneth Olsen, the president and founder of DigitalEquipmentCorporation,wasconvincedthat“thereisnoreasonforanyindividualtohaveacomputerintheirhome.”

Paradoxically, scientists and researchers, who should be at theforefrontinexploringnewdiscoveries,oftenareleastequippedtodoso.The very knowledge and the rigorous investigative methods that theyhaveworked so hard to acquire and pursue can be an impediment to

seeinganythingthatdoesn’tfitin.Thescientificmethodisbasedontheability to make observations, isolate variables, and repeat thoseobservations under the same set of circumstances.Measurement is theHolyGrail.Many scientistspride themselveson their adherence to thescientific method, which they interpret as making everything fit theexistinghypotheses,nomatterhowfastnewdevelopmentsandideasarepushing the envelope of knowledge. There are skeptics who make acareer of their rigidity and refuse to even consider promising newfindings.In his thought-provoking book,The Structure of Scientific Revolutions,ThomasKuhn,Ph.D.,professoremeritusoflinguisticsandphilosophyattheMassachusetts InstituteofTechnologydiscussed theways inwhichscience sometimes ignores, distorts, or totally misunderstandsdiscoveries that fall outside the prevailing paradigm. He uses thediscoveryofoxygenasanexample.Duringthelateeighteenthcentury,before itwas concluded thatoxygenwasagas existingwithin theair,several different theories about oxygen’s function and properties wereaccepted before new ones arose to challenge them. Oxygen was firstthoughttobeairthathadsomethingremovedfromit.Laterthetheoryhadtodowithsomeprincipleof“acidity”relatedtoheat.Beforeoxygencouldbe fullyunderstood, theparadigmhad toexpand tocontainandexplaintheevidence.Thesadtruthisthat,inmanyareas,thebiosciencesareseventyyearsbehind the learning curve. Many scientists are reluctant to study thephenomena of energy and consciousness not only because their beliefsystemdoesn’t encompass these thingsbut because they can’tmeasurethemeffectively.Theydon’twanttoadmitthatthereisanysuchthingas consciousness or self-awareness that exists outside the brain. Nohypothetical bridge enables them to see that observations in quantumphysicsmightexplainsomethingabouthumanbehavior.Not that new discoveries are never put to use before they areunderstood. There are many widely prescribed drug treatments aboutwhichthatbibleofmedications,thePhysician’sDeskReference,notesthat“mechanism of action is unknown.” The analgesic and fever-reducingeffects of aspirin, the wonder drug of the 1950s, were a mystery formany decades. We still don’t fully understand how some current

antidepressants alleviate symptoms. However, medications themselvesfallwithinthescientificparadigm,soitiseasierfortheFDAtoapprovea drug that appears to be effective, even if how it achieves its effectremainsamystery.There’snoquestionthatinvestigatingtheunknownwithtoolsthatdo

notoperatewithintheacceptedframeworkofunderstandingpresentsaconundrum.Nottomentionthatresearchfundsarerarelyavailableforhypothetical research that can’t be quantified. But as physicist turnedsciencefictionwriterJohnCampbell,Jr.,observed:“IfScienceexistsonlywhenthereisengineeringknow-howandlogicalinterrelationships,thena scientist cannot deal with the unknown, with the not-yet-logicallyrelated.LikeLogic,Scienceisnecessarybutnotsufficient.”Keepinmindthatmuchofwhatweoncethoughtofassciencefictionhasnowcometrue.

MakingPsychologyRespectable

New psychological practices and research have always met withskepticism. Psychology, the study of human thought, emotion, andbehavior,isconsideredpartartandpartscience—althoughsomewouldargue there’s very little science involved. Psychology’s struggle forlegitimacy and respect is certainly due in part to the problem ofmeasuring human consciousness. Unlike medicine, which adheres tostandardizedprocedures,andwheretreatmentdosagecanbemeasuredpreciselyandreplicatedeasily,psychologyisdifficulttostudyusingtheusual tools of the scientificmethod. In the arena of human emotions,standardizing treatments often misses the point, the essence, of whatmakesatreatmenttrulyeffective.Theideaofspendingyearsonacouchunearthingthesourceofone’s

psychologicaldistressseemsquainttoday,butattheturnofthecenturyitwasdownrightradical—orcrackpot.SigmundFreud’smethodsmayinsomewaysseemoutmodednow,buthewastrulyapioneer,riskinghisreputation to break societal barriers with regard to human behavior.Fasterandmoreefficientwaysofdealingwithpsychologicalproblems—includingsophisticatedpharmacologicsolutions—haveburgeonedinthelast twenty years. Freudwould be flabbergasted by Prozac and EMDR

and Thought Field Therapy. But he was a bold and broad-mindedthinker. In his later writings, he predicted that the day would comewhen knowledge of the mind and body’s workings would makepsychotherapyobsolete.

WhereDidYouGetThatParadigm?

Each of us views the world through our own unique lens, and thecharacteristics and scope of that lens governswhatwe are able to seeandknowabouttheworld.Thatlensisourpersonalparadigm.Paradigmsarenotborn; theyaremade.Theyarehandeddown first

andforemostbythecultureinwhichwelive,globallyandlocally.TheyrepresentthecollectedattitudesandbeliefsofwhatCarolynMyss,Ph.D.,callsour“tribe.”Whatyoubelieveabouthowtheworldworks isverydifferent fromwhat your greatgrandfather believed, and it is differentfromwhat someone living in the rain forests of Borneo believes. You,your greatgrandfather, and the Borneo tribesman have very differentexplanationsfor,say,anairplane,oracomputer,orafertilityfetish.Akid who grows up in a deeply religious churchgoing family interpretsexperiences differently than do children of the atheists next door.Quakers and Hindus have a different understanding of the world,literallyadifferentperspective.Theway you see theworld around you is profoundly influenced by

whatyourfamilybelievesandhowitacts.Ifyourparentswerealwaysworried aboutwhatmight befall themor you, youmayhave come tobelievethattheworldisunsafeorunpredictable;youmayliveinastateof constant fear and anxiety. If family conflicts were resolved withscreamingandyelling, it’s reasonable tobelieve that anger is theonlytactic that works. You may respond by spending your life avoidingintimaterelationshipsentirelyIf,ontheotherhand,yourchildhoodwassmoothandserene,youarelikelytotrustthattheworldisanOKplace.Of course, not everyone responds in the same way to education,

neighborhood, or the class bully. Your personal paradigm reflects notonly your culture, family, and life experiences but theways that you,becauseofyouruniquetemperament,haveinterpretedandrespondedtoyourenvironment.Ouropenness towhat’snewaffectsourviewof the

world. Research has shown that some people are inherently moreadventurous and less conservative than others, hence more open totryingnewthings.Just keeping upwith our fast-changingworld can be overwhelmingandexhausting.We’veallhadthatfeelingofbreathinghardjusttokeepup.There’ssomuchinformation,somuchnewsfromsomanysources,so many new products and whole new technologies. We don’t knowwheretobegin.Andtherateofchangeiseveraccelerating.The buzzwords of the world in which we live are “faster, newer,better,” andnoone can really take it all in. It’s aworldof specialists,with each person trying to master a fragment of our vast body ofknowledge.Allofusmakeourchoicesaboutwhat tospecialize inandwhatandhowmuchtokeepupwith.Dowetrytoseethelatestmovies?Check out each new restaurant that’s written up? Buy the latest alloytennis racquet that promises to improve our game? Try the latestantiaging potion? Upgrade our computer? Get a faster modem or thelatestdigitalvideoequipment?For somepeople, theeasiest thing todo is to stop trying tokeepupandjustruninplace.Theyhaven’theardanydecentmusicsinceBennyGoodman; they won’t buy or learn to use a computer; they just gotaroundtoacceptingthattalktherapyisOK—forotherpeople.Whenitcomes to psychology, there is an “instant” paradox in our society.Alwaysinahurry,wedemandfastfoodandinstantcoldremedies.Weare offered “one-hour” eyeglasses and ten-minute lube jobs,whichwepayforwithinstantcashfromtheATM.Wereverespeed.Yetsomehowwestillbelievethat,intheareaofhumanemotions,ittakestimetogetover it.Nopain,wethink,nogain.Thevery ideaof instantemotionalhealingissuspect.A hundred years ago running in place was a workable choice. Lifemoved more slowly; people didn’t have to know about many majorchangesormasternewskillsimmediately.Littlewaslikelytohappentoyouoryourneighborsthatwasearthshakingoroutoftheordinary.Butin this day and age, being a Flat Earther is no longer an option. Thewholewideworldisright inourface.Somehoworother,we’vegottokeepup.Thetrickistofigureoutwhat’sworthkeepingupwith.Ifyouwant to liveup to yourhighest personal potential, you’ve got to open

youreyesandseeallthatthereistosee,soyoucanmakegoodchoices.

TunnelVisionCanBeHarmfultoYourHealth

Inourclinicalpractices,wehaveseenhowthenewenergytheoriesofESMchallengeourclients’dearlyheldworldviews.Forexample,aclienthas a very positive outcomeusing the techniques presented here. In atelephone follow-up, or on her next visit to the office, she willacknowledge that her problem is gone—she reports she is no longerangry, or anxious, or jealous. But since we last spoke to her, she hascometobelievethatthereasonfortheimprovementissomethingotherthan the treatment—even when she acknowledges that she felt betterimmediatelyafter. “Idon’t think thatwaswhathelpedme,” shemightsay.Some clients guess that they feel better because they talked abouttheirproblemwithafriend—eventhoughtheyhaddonesomanytimesbefore, with no improvement. Or they conclude that they feel bettersimplybecauseof thepassageof time—even though theyhad sufferedfor years up to that moment. Others have imagined that theirimprovementwas due to a hypnotic suggestion thatwe implanted.OrthattheESMprocessdistractedthemfromtheirfeelingsanditwasthatdistractionwhichproducedtherelief.Somepeoplewhofeltbetterforthefirst time in years could not shake the feeling that it was “justcoincidence.” Most surprising are the people who began with a veryseriouslevelofdistressbutlaterreportthat“itreallywasn’tthatbigaprobleminthefirstplace.”Someoftheexplanationswereprettyinventive.Why?Becauseeachofusisdeterminedtomakesenseofourexperienceswhileholdingontighttoourcomfortableframeofreference.ThisiswhatDr.RogerCallahan,oneof the foundersofThoughtFieldTherapy, calls theapexproblem:There is no apex or connecting juncture between what is known (theusual)andwhatisexperienced.We recognize that the premise behind Emotional Self-Managementstrains credibility.Howcanyour “polarity” be reversed?Does itmakesensethatmerelytappingonyourbodywhilethinkingaboutyourfearofheights can cureyour fear forever?Of coursenot. It justdoesn’t fit

ourpictureofhowtheworldworks.No one completely understands why Emotional Self-Management

works,althoughtheories,hypotheses,andsupportingevidenceabound.Yourbeliefaboutthewaytheworldworksispowerful.Weinviteyou

to readon to learn aboutESMand try out the techniques.As youdo,remembertheparadigmproblemandkeepanopenmind.Ifyoudonotrecognizetheproblem,youmaybelievethatESMisnotresponsibleforthechangethatresults,andyoumaynotuseittohelpyouinthefuture.Thusyourbeliefscanhurtyou.

TheRoadtoEmotionalSelf-Management

The conceptof emotionalhealinghas leapt forward in recentdecades.Traditional talk therapy,whichfocusedonunfoggingyourperceptions,hasgivenwaytoabroadrangeofmind/bodytherapies,fromcognitiveand behavioral approaches, to biofeedback, hypnosis, and EMDR.Acupuncturists,homeopathicpractitioners,psychologists,andagrowingnumber of physicianswhoworkwith the body’s energy systems knowthatphysicalandemotionalsymptomsarerelatedandoftenintertwined.Wearenotgoingtoelaborateonthemind/bodyconnection,sincemanyof thewriters and researchersmentioned inChapter 1 have done thatquiteeloquently. If youhaveanydoubtaboutwhetheryourmindandbodyareconnected,however, thinkabout this:Haveyoueverworriedyourselfsick?Doesthinkingaboutasliceofapplepiemakeyourmouthwater?Haveyoureyesevertearedupatatouchingmoviescene?Caseclosed.Let’slookatthepaththatleadsuptoThoughtFieldTherapyandthenewenergytherapiesthatincludeESM.

CognitiveTherapy

Cognitivetherapyhasevolvedoverthelastthirtyyearsasamainstayofpsychotherapy.Itspremiseisthatourthoughts,eventhoughwemaybeunaware of them, precede our emotional responses, and if we canexercise control over our thoughts, we can change dysfunctionalemotional patterns. Cognitive theory says that our automatic thoughtsstemfromfundamentalattitudes thatweholdat theedgeofconscious

awareness, and they in turn evolved from core beliefs that havedeveloped from our interchanges with our environment, others, andourselves,fromthemomentofbirth.Themostpowerfulofthesebeliefsare thought to become entrenched early in life, as deeply embeddedpatterns of response. Cognitive therapy works to change the negativethoughtsinordertobringaboutchangeinunproductivebehavior.ESMincorporates cognitive therapy’s use of intentional thoughts to bringaboutchange.There’smoreaboutcognitivetherapyinChapter5.

Biofeedback

Biofeedback therapy acknowledges the power of the mind to affectphysiologicalprocesses.Biofeedbackisatoolforteachingpeoplehowtocontrolsymptomsofstressandpain,usingthepowerof their thoughtsandawarenessliterallytochangethebody’sresponses.Theremarkablethingaboutbiofeedback,andprobablywhatenableditsacceptanceintomainstream medicine, is that it actually detects and measures theinteraction of mind and body along certain dimensions. This is aninteraction that yogis and those experienced in meditation practiceshave taken for granted for millennia. Attached to electrodes thatmeasure skin conductivity, subjects can track their physiologicalresponsesonascreenandlearnhowtousetheirthoughtstomoderatethose responses. Themyographmeasurements of the electrical voltageproduced by muscle tension and the electroencephalographmeasurementsofbrainactivityarethemselvesthemeansforpatientstomonitorandtochangephysiologicalresponses.

Hypnosis

Hypnosis, which we have both worked with for decades, is anothermind/ body process rediscovered in the 1800s, that has struggled foracceptance as a legitimate therapeutic technique.Hypnosiswas finallyrecognized by the American Medical Association in the 1950s as alegitimatecourseofstudytobeofferedinmedicalschools.Theprocessinvolves installing a suggestion for behavior in the unconscious mindwhile themindandbodyare ina stateofhighly focusedattention. In

this state a person’s critical judgment of suggestions is reduced andreceptivity is increased. Hypnosis is difficult to study using strictscientific methods, since the most effective approach is to tailor thetreatmenttotheindividual. Instandardizedformats,hypnosis losesthepersonalizednuancesthatmakethetreatmentmosteffective.Westillusehypnosiswhenappropriateinourpractices.Butfolktales

and movies have perpetuated the misconception that hypnosis alwaysworks immediately and that its effectswill last indefinitely.Weblamethe Roadrunner cartoons: For example, as the story opens, Wiley E.Coyote isseenreadingtheAcmeHypnosisBook. Inthenextscenehe issendingspiralingwavelikeraysinthedirectionoftheRoadrunner,whocleverlyholdsupamirrorandbouncesthemrightbackatCoyote,whichcauses him to fall into a stupor and then off a cliff. Hypnosis can beprettyimpressive,but,ofcourse,itdoesn’treallyworkthiswayThe ESM procedures employ some of the visualization and imagery

elements of hypnosis. Interestingly,many peoplewhowere not highlysuccessful with hypnosis in a clinical setting were able to get betterresultsontheirownusingself-hypnosis techniques.Thesameelementsofprivacyandself-controlovertheprocessalsoseemtobefactorsintheappealandsuccessofESM.

EyeMovementDesensitizationandReprocessing

Mostpeoplehavesomeunderstandingofhypnosis.ButonlyrecentlyhasEyeMovementDesensitizationandReprocessingbecomeknownoutsidethepsychotherapeuticcommunity.Itsveryimpressivetechniques,whichwe have been using to great effect in recent years, operate outsidepeople’sexpectationsoftheclinicalexperience.Althoughitsmechanismisstillnotfullyunderstood,EMDRhasdemonstratedphenomenalabilityto resolve emotional issues, in particular posttraumatic stress disorder.Shell-shockedbattleveterans,victimsof rapeandabuse, and survivorsof natural and man-made disasters have experienced quick andpermanent relief with EMDR, often in cases where numerous othertherapies,includinghypnosis,havefailed.EMDRisprovingeffectiveforthereliefofmorecommondisturbancesaswell.WithEMDR,clientsareaskedtofocusonthedisturbingexperience—

images, physical sensations, thoughts.As the therapistmoveshis handfrom side to side in front of the client’s face, the client follows themovementwiththeeyes.Forreasonsnotfullyunderstood,theselateralmovements seem to foster a reprocessing of the distressing events,circumstances,orperceptions.EMDRproceduressometimesincorporateother methods of side-to-side lateralization (tones in alternating ears,tapping on alternate sides of the body) to activate hemisphericinteractions.The second phase of the EMDR procedure seeks to instill a positive

thoughtprocessinplaceofthenegativeonethatwasassociatedwiththedistress.Forexample, thepersonwhohas livedthroughanearthquakemightgofromthinking“Iamvulnerable”torecognizingthatthedangerispastandthat“Iamsecureandcomfortable.”Francine Shapiro, Ph.D., explains the effects as the breaking of a

“neurologicalloop,”installedatthetimeofthetraumatizingevent,thathas not allowed the complete processing of emotional distress. TheEMDR process appears to activate a natural mechanism for itsdissipation,enablingclientstointegratedifficultlifeexperiencesandgetpastthem,sothatthinkingabouttheeventsnolongerdistressesthem.WewereattractedtoEMDR’srapidactionandalsotothefactthatyou

couldseeifyouweregettingimprovementinamatterofweeksratherthanmonths,ascouldbeexpectedwith traditional therapies.Wehaveincorporated into ESM methods the concept of self-evaluating one’sdistressandratingone’sbeliefinapositivethought.EMDRishighlystructured,withauniformityofproceduresthatlends

itselftocomparativestudies.Mostareasinthementalhealthcommunitynow accept it as a workable modality. Of course, in the scientificcommunity, it’s still in the questionable stage. But EMDR is ten yearsahead of where thought energy psychotherapies are with regard toscientificlegitimacy.

TheRoadLessTraveled…SoFar

SonowwecometoThoughtFieldTherapy,whichincorporatesenergiesoutside our current understanding of the mind/body mechanisms,

outsidetheparadigmsofphysiologyandneurology.Themodernapplicationofsubtleenergytherapiesbeganinthemid-

1970s, throughthecombinedeffortsofthreemen:chiropractorGeorgeGoodheart,psychiatristJohnDiamond,andpsychologistRogerCallahan.Dr. Goodheart developed the concepts and practice of Applied

Kinesiology which employs manual muscle testing, a fascinating,seeminglymagicalway to tune into the innerwisdomof the body. InordertounderstandhowthisfitsintoThoughtFieldTherapy,let’slookathowmuscletestingworks.Inmanualmuscle testing, the subject typically standswith one arm

extended straight out to the side, palm down.While the subject holdsher arm in a rigid “locked” position, the clinician applies downwardpressure on the wrist, while the subject resists. The clinician takes a“reading” of the subject’s strength. Then, while the clinician againpressesdownonthewristofthesubject’soutstretchedarm,thesubjectwill touch a part of thebody that the clinician feelsmight be causingproblems, or the subject may hold a substance suspected to beunhealthy.Unlessthereissomethingwrong,mostpeoplecanmeetthatdownwardarmpressurewithsubstantialresistance.However,ifthereissomethingwrong,theirmuscleswillweaken.Whentheclinicianpressesdownward,thearmmusclewillgivewayinthepresenceofadistressingthoughtorasubstancethatistoxictothatperson.AppliedKinesiologyhasbecomea standarddiagnostic tool formany

chiropractors, nutritionists, andhomeopaths.A studybyDanielMonti,M.D., and his colleagues conducted at Jefferson Medical School andpublished ina reputable scientific journaldemonstrated thevalidityofmuscle testing. Their researchwas able to show the effect of true andfalsestatementsonmusclestrength.Thoughtenergytherapiesusethesame“wiring”asacupuncture—the

meridian system—an intricate network of tiny pathways that conductelectrical energy. Dr. Diamondmade an extensive study of the body’sacupuncturesystemtoachieveemotionalbalance.Usingmuscletesting,Dr. Diamond identifiedmany of the acupuncture sites associatedwithspecificemotions,whichhavebecomethe“tapsites”ofthoughtenergytherapyprocedures.

A key discovery in Thought Field Therapy was psychologist RogerCallahan’sfindingthatmuscletestingcanrevealhiddenself-sabotagingthoughtsandbeliefs,whichhecalls“psychologicalreversals.”Forexample,itwouldbeexpectedthatsomeonewhosays“Iwanttobe happy” would be able to show considerable arm strength duringmuscletesting,sincemostallofusprofess,andconsciouslybelieve,thatwe want to be happy. But some people test weak on this statement,whichwouldseemtorevealanincongruitybetweenwhatthemindsaysand the belief the body harbors. Dr. Callahan discovered thatmanualmuscle testing can be used to identify an unconscious block, or whatmightbecalledan“internaldisagreement.”Thenextstepwashisdiscoverythattheself-sabotagingpatterncouldbe corrected. Bringing the thought tomindwhile activating a specificacupuncture site through tapping would reverse the negative effect.Voilá!ThoughtFieldTherapy!Today there are many hybrid technologies based on the meridiansystemsof thebodycombinedwithcognitiveapproaches,among themAcu-Power, Emotional Freedom TechniquesTM, Energy DiagnosticsTM,Thought Energy Synchronization TherapyTM, and now Emotional Self-Management.(SeetheResourcesappendixfordetailsaboutthevariousapproaches.)Dr.Callahan,whoseinitialapplicationofthesediscoveriesfocusedonthe removal of phobias, persisted in the face of tremendous pressurefrom the American Psychological Association and other mainstreamorganizations of which he had been a member. His discovery of theeffectofreversalsofconsciousintentiononpsychologicalprocesseshadno precedent within existing psychological models. But polarityreversals,aswecall them,areacornerstoneofThoughtFieldTherapyChapter 4 presents an exercise for correcting polarity reversals, animportantfoundationstepinclearingemotionalproblems.Wehaveadaptedandaddedtoelementsofthoughtenergytherapiesto arrive at the process we call Emotional Self-Management. We usemuscle testing to test theunderlyingbeliefs—thepolarity reversals—ofour clients, so thatwe can fine-tune their treatment. And it ismuscletesting that has enabled us to verify, through trial and error, the

effectivenessoftheemotion-specific“tapsequences”intheprotocols.Unlike some energy therapies, ESM is self-administered. In a fulltreatment sequence, or protocol, a Balanced Breathing exercise is firstadministered, to align the body’s polarity, followed by a PolarityReversal exercise to address any reversals of our thoughts. Weincorporate imagery and visualization techniques from hypnosis andemploythethought-focusingcomponentofcognitivetherapytoactivatethethoughtfieldduringtheprocess.There’sevensomeright-brain/left-brainhummingandcountingandeyemovements.We’vetakenthebestfrom many methods. Since we believe that all the body’s systemscommunicate, our objective is to engage them all in the process ofhealing.ESMgivesyouthefullMonte.

T

THREE

ESMontheEnergeticLevel

heseareexcitingtimesforscienceandthefieldofhealthcare.Withadvancedtechnologiesexpandingourabilitytoobserve,collect,and

analyzedata,newdiscoveriesarereportedalmostdailyTheexchangeofinformation is global and instantaneous. Asmore andmore is learnedaboutourworld,adetailedpicture isemergingofhowwe functionasbiological beings.Discoveries in diverse areas—neurology, aeronautics,pharmacology,engineering,quantumphysics—addtoourunderstandingoftheuniverse.What we have is a grand and giant jigsaw puzzle, a puzzle of the

whole cosmos, really,with bigger and bigger pieces falling into place.Wedon’thaveallthepieces;manymysteriescontinuetoeludeus.Eventhe mapping of the human genome, a vast, complex, and astonishingaccomplishment, represents but one piece of the larger puzzle. Goinginward to themysteries of genetic chemistry is as complex as lookingoutwardtowarddistantgalaxies.Butenoughpiecesareinplacethatwearegettinganideaofthegrandschemeofthings,fromthesubatomictothecosmic,fromtheglobaltothepersonal.Itisfascinatinghowthepiecesfittogetherandhow,eachtimeanew

factfallsintoplace,itaddstoourunderstandingofboththewholeandthe individual components. Many new observations, or even old onesrevisited,requireashiftinourperceptualfilters.Thisiswhereanopenmind comes in handy. The larger the screen on which you view theworld, the better you can see the overlapping information andconnections.Herewefocusonthepiecesofthepuzzlethathelpusunderstandhow

thoughtenergytherapiesandESMwork.We’vealreadydiscussedsomeof theestablishedcomponentsofESM—themind/bodyconnection, theworkings of the brain, and cognitive psychology. But ESM is

fundamentallyaboutsubtleenergies,thekindthatarehardtodetectandmeasure,thekindthatarestillkeptoutsidethewallsofscience’sinnersanctum. To us, part of the excitement is that there is so much stillunknown,stillsomuchtobediscovered.The fact is that ESM works.We think we know some of the reasonswhy,andthatiswhatwewanttoexplorewithyou.Researchincludingourownanddiscoveries fromdiversedisciplinesseemtooffercluestothe inner workings of ESM. As we look at some of these clues,hypotheses, and speculations, you may feel, as we do, that each oneopens another window of understanding. Each provides an alternativeprismthroughwhichtoexamineanotheraspectofthesameunderlyingphenomenon:energy.

AreYouReadytoChangeYourMind?

Imagine thatwe are living in a sea of energies. Just as a fish doesn’tknowit’sinwater,oftenweareunawareoftheforcessurroundingus—atomicwavesandparticles, thermalandchemical andelectromagneticenergies.Our species is programmed to receive, like a radio certainofthese energies. Other species, with different physiological andbiochemical makeups, are attuned to other frequencies, sensitive tootherenergies.Wehumanstunein,bothconsciouslyandunconsciously,totheenergiesavailableonourbroadcastbandandmakeuseofthem,oftenwithoutrecognizingtheirpresenceoreffect.However,certainenergiesareavailabletousthatwedon’tmakeuseof. Sometimes it’s a matter of ignorance: We don’t know that theinformation is available, or we’ve been conditioned to discount it.Sometimes our refusal to believe keeps us from tapping into powersourcesthatwemightusetoouradvantage.Acommonexampleofthisis the inability, or refusal, to take advantageof our “gut feelings” andhunches or intuition, which can be highly valuable sources ofinformation,whenweknowhowtoaccessandapplythem.Understanding the unity ofmind andbodyhas led to powerful newwaysofhealingphysiologicalandemotionalills,includingbiofeedback,cognitivetherapy,andhypnosis.Growingunderstandingoftheworkingsofsubtleenergiesbringsustoenergytherapies.Thereispowerfulenergy

out there, available to us at anymoment, and we are not taking fulladvantage.For themostpart, it’snota shortcoming inourequipment.We’rejustnottunedin.

TuningIn

ThoughtFieldTherapymayseemfarout,butenergytherapiesareasoldasrecordedhistoryForthousandsofyearstherehavebeencivilizationswhosehealingmodalitieswerecenteredaroundtheunderstandingofthebody’s energy systems and of the importance of working with thoseenergies.Theconceptofenergybalance is the foundationofnearlyallthe world’s healing systems. Western medicine speaks of homeostasis,the state of equilibrium and constancy of the body’s systems. Intraditional Chinese medicine, the physician’s central objective is tobalance the “chi,” or “Qi,” energy. Ayurvedic traditions speak of“prana.”PhysicianandauthorDeepakChopra says “the life energy,orPrana,ischanneledthroughoutourbodiesbya‘wind’knownasVata….When Prana Vata is out of balance, there is general disruptionthroughout thesystem.”Byanyname, theseenergysystemshavebeencentraltoourunderstandingofhealingforaverylongtime.In thepast coupleofdecades, instrumentshavebeendeveloped thatcan explore the innerworkings of the brain.Although themapping ofourmost important organ is far from complete, a convincing case hasbeenmadethatthebrainistheseatofwhoweareasindividualsandisresponsible for generating our sense of reality. Neurosurgeon RichardRestakpointsoutthat“nocreature,includingourselves,caneverknowany other ‘reality’ than the representations made by our brain.”Essentially what he is saying is that we are boxed into knowing onlywhatourinstruments—includingourbrain—canmeasure.Butinourviewoftheworld,thebrainisnotthebe-allandend-allofhumanconsciousness.Aswesee it, informationisnotmerelystoredinthebrain;rather,informationiscontainedinafieldofenergy.Wedonotneedtobeconsciousof thatenergyfield for it toaffectus.Traditionalmedicineandscientificresearchhavelargelyoverlookedtheroleplayedbybarelydetectableelectricalandelectromagneticenergies.Thesubtleenergiesofthoughtexistinarealmbeyondthebiochemical

andbioelectricalonesweareabletomeasure.However,wecanmeasuretheeffectsofthoughtenergy.StudiesbyLarryDosseyM.D.,haveshownthat prayer can be a healing agent, even prayers over very longdistances,directedtopeopleunknowntothosepraying.Somehospitalsnow recognize the value of therapeutic touch in healing, and trainnurses touse it.Parapsychological effects—remoteviewing (theabilityto “see” something at a distance), precognition (the ability to knowsomething before it happens)—have been demonstrated repeatedly(albeit largely ignored by conventional science). In other words,although we cannot yet measure a specific thought energy field orexamine its substance until it reaches the neurological system,we candetecttheeffectsofthoughtenergy.

ElectromagneticInfluences

We understand some types of energy better than others—meaning,usually,thatwecandetectandmeasurethem.Electromagneticenergyisone. Many people are familiar with electroencephalograph (EEG)readings, which measure brain activity. Specialists can identify alpha(relaxed), beta (awake), theta, and delta wave (unconscious)frequencies, and associate eachwith adifferent level of consciousness.Rightnow,readingthisbook(assumingit’skeepingyouawake),youareprobablyinabeta-wavestateofconsciousness.ThesebrainwavescanbecomparedtotheAMradioband.Theentire

AMbandcanberecognized,andwithprecisionequipment(aradio),wecan tune in to specific frequencies along that band. Inmuch the sameway that alphaorbetawaves indicatedifferent kindsof activity, eachfrequency, or what we call a “station,” carries different information—rockorcountryorclassicalmusic,baseballortalkshows.Accordingtoenergytherapies,thoughtsaretangibleaspectsofreality

thatexistandeventuallywillbecataloged,justasmanybrainactivitiesare graphed and plotted today. What we cannot do—yet—with ourinstrumentsisfurtherbreakdownthatbetawavebandandmeasurethespecificelectromagneticfrequenciesofdifferentkindsofthoughts—angerand sadness, happiness and anxiety. But the effectiveness of thoughtenergytherapiesinlinkingmeridiansinthebodywithspecificemotions

indicates that there is indeed an interaction between thought energiesand themeridian system.The interactionof the thought energieswiththemeridianenergysystemisbelievedtobethesourceofemotions,oremotionaldistress.Inotherwords,emotionsarebelievedtobetheresultoftheeffectofthoughtenergyonthebody’smeridiansystem.Eachtypeof thought seems to vibrate at a specific frequency and affect specificmeridiansinthebody.Thoughtfieldscreatedbystrongnegativeemotionsappeartodeliverashocktothesystem,causingblockagesinthemeridians.Theenergyofthatthoughtfieldisbelievedtobecometrapped,creatinganemotionalloop that cannot escape or dissipate. Whenever that thought loop isreactivated, through any reminder even tangentially related to theoriginal experience or emotion, the whole encoded memory isreexperiencedasanunpleasantanddisturbingsensationthroughoutthebodyThought energy therapies balance the energy channels, therebyeliminatingthepowerofourthoughtstoaffectthebody’schemistryandthus to disturb us. To illustrate: If you were thinking about how youwere recently overcharged at an automotive repair shop, you mightdevelop tension in the hands or abdomen, a flushed face, and theclouded judgment that often accompanies anger. When you’re notthinkingaboutthisincident,youfeelfine.Thereissomethingaboutthethoughtitselfthattriggersthephysicalandemotionalsymptoms.Inthenormalcourseofevents,thememoryofthisincidentfades,theemotional energy dissipates, and the body returns to a state ofequilibrium.Memory of the event no longer has the power to disturbyou.Butifyourenergysystemisblockedinitsabilitytodissipateanger,ifyourpersonalhistoryisdottedwithincidentsofunresolvedanger,thisincidentwilljustbeaddedtothepile.Trappedinthesystem,thewoundwill continue to fester, sometimes for years. It is precisely thesedisruptions of the meridian system that are the target of the ESMprocesses.Ithasbeennotedthatcognitivetherapyoperatesonthepremisethatthoughtsaffectouremotions,andthatbycontrollingandchangingourthoughts, we alter our emotions and eventually our behavior as well.Thisapproach,likemedicationsorbehavioraltherapy,canbeeffective,

butESMtakesamoredirectroute.Here’sananalogythatillustratesthedifference. If the drain lines in yourhomewere partially clogged, youcould solve the problem of the water and sewage backing up bydecreasing the intensity of the water flow by, for example, avoidingrunningthedishwasher, takingashower,and flushingthe toiletat thesametime.Butthemoreeffectivesolutionwouldbetoputsomethinginthedrainlinesothatitopenstoitsnormalcapacity.ThatiswhatESMtechniquesaccomplish.Theyclearawayblockages,

opening themeridian system to its normal capacity, allowing trappedemotional energy to flow freely. It is believed that thought energytherapiesworkwith thedisturbedelectromagnetic field,addingenergyinto the emotion-specificmeridian using direct stimulation: tapping orrubbing at specific acupuncture sites. At the same time statements ofintentionaremadethatactivatethoughtenergyfields.Thecombinationof tappingand thesedeliberatelycreated fieldshaveabalancingeffectonthemeridianenergies,andthedisturbingemotionsareunblocked.

AcupunctureandtheMeridianSystem

The idea that the body possesses an unseen energy streamhas been afundamentaltenetoftraditionalChinesemedicineforaverylongtime.Although they work with the presenting physical symptoms,acupuncturists don’t separate the mind/body They assume they aredealing with the emotional component as well. Stimulating specificacupuncture sites has been shown to be effective in blocking painsignals. While needles are the traditional means of stimulatingacupuncture sites, they also can be activated through heat, massage,direct electrical stimulation, and tapping. In this country the focus ofacupuncturegenerallyhasbeenquitenarrow,emphasizingthereliefofphysicalpain.Butwhatevertheunderlyingdiseaseorthenatureofthedisruption,whentheflowofchienergyisrestored,thebodyhealsitself.AsthefamedhumanitarianphysicianAlbertSchweitzerremarked,“Weareatourbestwhenweallowthedoctorthatresideswithintowork.”Acupuncturesiteshavequalitiesthatmakethemunique.Oneofthem

is a difference in electrical conductivity compared with surroundingtissue.Ordinarilythesiteshaveasignificantlylowerelectricalresistance

compared to surrounding skin locations. Ordinary dry skin has aresistanceofbetween200,000and2millionohms(astandardmeasureofelectricalresistance).Atanacupuncturelocationtheskinresistanceissignificantlylower.WithinTCM,thereareover360acupuncturesitesonthe body; some acupuncture models put that number closer to 1,500.However,ESMproceduresuseonlyfifteenofthesesites.Whydoestappingwiththefingersonanacupuncturesitework?One

component of its effectiveness is believed to have to do with the“piezoelectric effect.”When certain crystals are struck sharply, causingthemtovibrate, theybendand thensnapback to theiroriginal shape,generatinganelectricalcharge.Thepiezoelectriceffectignitesamoderngas range—that “clicking” sound you hear is the ignition. Thespeculationisthatcalciuminthebonesprovidesthemineralcrystalsforthispiezoelectriceffectwhentappinganacupuncturesite.

PinningDowntheMeridianSystem

The meridian system cuts across every single one of the traditionalWestern medicine systems—the nervous, circulatory and lymphatic.Until recently the existence of the meridian system was purelyspeculative, an almost met-aphoric subtle energy network. However,there is evidence of its physical existence. It was the Korean scientistKimBongHanwho several decades agodiscovered that themeridiansare a network ofmicrotubules. Examining rabbits and dogs, he foundthatavastnetworkofmicrotubules(about0.5micronsindiameter;forcomparison,ahumanhairisabout1.5microns)passesthroughthewallsofveinsandarteriesaswellasaroundandthroughvariousorgans.HealsodiscoveredcirculatingwithinthemicrotubulesarichconcentrateofDNA, RNA, and a variety of neuropeptides and other chemicalmessengersthatarealsoknowntowashoverthebrain.More physical evidence of the meridian pathways can be found in

photographstakenatUniversityofParisHospitalin1985–86.Physiciansand researchers Jean Claude Darras and Pierre de Vernejoul injectedradioactive isotopes (technetium) intomeridian andnonmeridian sites.At themeridian location, the fluid flow is coherent and can be tracedalongaknownmeridianpathway;at thenonmeridian site itdissipates

locally.Researchersrecentlyhavedevelopedtechniquestomeasuremeridianactivity.TheApparatusforMeridianIdentification(AMI),developedbyHi-roshiMotoyama,Ph.D.,founderoftheCaliforniaInstituteforHumanScience in Encinitas, California, uses a sophisticated detectionmethodthat measures the electrical conductivity of the meridians. The AMIapplies calibrated low-voltage impulses into acupuncture points at thetipofthefingersandtoesandusesthatinformationtoinfertheflowofchi.Whentheenergyflowinthemeridianisnotasexpected,thetheoryis that something has distorted the measurements. One explanation isthat negative emotions affect the free flow of electromagnetic energy.TheAMIisbeingdevelopedasadiagnosticdevice.University of California at Irvine physicist Zang-Hee Cho, Ph.D., iscredited with inventing the prototype of the positron emissiontomograph(PET)scanandwasapioneerofmagneticresonanceimaging(MRI).When his back was injured some years ago, he found reliefthrough acupuncture. Ever the inquiring scientist, he beganusingMRItechnology to explorehowacupunctureworks.He found that theMRIwas able to identify the effects of an acupuncture treatmentadministered at the site of the little toeuponblood flow to the brain,wherenodirectnerve,blood,orotherconnectionexisted.Dr.Cho’sfindingswerepublishedintheSpring1998ProceedingsoftheNationalAcademyofSciences,providingfurtherscientificevidenceoftheexistenceofenergysystemsthathavebeenusedforthousandsofyearsby physicians in other cultures. Dr. Cho is expanding his research tobetterunderstandtheeffectsofacupunctureonbrainfunctioning.

PolarityandtheElectromagneticField

Most people have seen the effect of iron filings in the presence of amagnet,howtheyalignthemselvesaccordingtothefieldpolarityofthemagnet.It’satypicalgrade-schoolscienceexperiment.Well,wehumansaresimilar:We’repolarized.Asearlyasthe1940sYaleUniversitySchoolofMedicineprofessorandresearcherHaroldSaxtonBurrdiscoveredthatall living organisms have a top-to-bottom electrical polarity aswell aslateral polarity, left to right. Other researchers following in Dr. Burr’s

footstepsfoundthatspecificorganshaveanorth/southpolarityandthatthe polarity was reversed in 80 percent of a group of breast cancerpatients.Theimplicationsofthosefindingshaveyettobefullyrealized.AcentraltenetofThoughtFieldTherapyisthatthebody’senergyhasapolarity,apositiveandnegativepole,muchlikeabattery,orthenorthand south poles of a magnet. A reversal of the usual polarity caninterfere with thought, emotion, and behavior. The electrical currentsthat deliver power to the receptacles in your home are polarized.Modernsocketshaveoneslot slightly larger than theother so that theplug can go in only one way—with the positive and negative polesproperly aligned—because today’s sophisticated electronic gadgets areparticularly sensitive to misaligned polarity. Plug them in the wrongway,andthey’llbeoutofphase;you’llgetanominoushummingsound,and theywon’twork properly. Polarity reversals have an effect on allknownenergysystems.Thereversalofmagneticenergyhasaprofoundeffectonwhateverit’soperatingon.Sincewehumansaremoresensitivethanyouraveragestereosystem,itfiguresthatweneedtobeproperlypluggedinaswell.Onanindividuallevel,manyfactorsbesidesthegeneralizedeffectsofelectromagneticfieldscancausepolarityreversals.Ithasnothingtodowithourvolitionoranyconsciousprocessoverwhichwehavecontrol.Causesmightincludeenvironmentalfactorssuchascertainchemicalsorelectromagneticradiationfromatelevisionorcomputerscreen.Certainfoods and stressful situations can be a factor, and other people’sreversals can essentially “rub off” on us. In magnetic or electricalinduction, awire carrying a current close to anotherwire induces thesamecurrentoraresonanceofitinthesecondwire.Wehaveallhadtheexperience of being brought down by another person’s depression,agitated by their anxiety, or feeling that another’s happiness wascontagious.SigmundFreudnotedlongagothatanxiousindividualscanbenefit from being in the presence of a calm therapist.We believe hewasobservingtheeffectsofoneaspectoftheinductivequalityofhumanelectromagneticenergy.What makes us so sensitive to electromagnetic fields? GeobiologistJoseph Krichvink and his colleagues at Caltech Institute may haveanothercluetounderstandingtheeffectsoftheelectromagneticfieldon

humans.Magnetiteisthecrystallizedformofironandthusisresponsivetobothgeomagneticandelectromagneticfields.Itisknownthatanimalswith navigational and homing abilities—homing pigeons, migratingsalmon—show significant concentrations ofmagnetite. In humans it isfoundmostlyinthepinealgland,whichislocatedapproximatelyinthecenterofthebrain.Thefunctionofthemagnetiteisnotunderstood,yetit must have some purpose. Its presence seems to indicate we can beinfluencedbymagneticfields.

PlanetaryPolarityReversals

There isconvincingevidenceofpolarity reversalsonaplanetary level.Although itwasonce taken forgranted that theearth’smagneticpolesare fixed, research indicates that the earth’s magnetic poles havereversedatleastsixtimesinthecourseofhistory.JamesHayes,Ph.D.,held a conference in 1971 to report his findings regarding the earth’spolarity reversalsat theLa-montGeophysicalObservatoryatColumbiaUniversity. Upon examining core samples from the ocean floor, Dr.Hayes found that tiny dust particles that settle on thewater and thensink to the sea bottom tell a fascinating story. Some of these particlescontain magnetite. As they settle to the depths of the ocean, theseparticlesactsomethingliketinycompasses,aligningthemselveswiththeearth’sgeomagneticfield.Theyformlayersontheoceanfloor,leavingarecord of the earth’s magnetic polarity through their alignment withmagneticnorth.Hayesdiscoveredthattheseglobalreversalstakeplaceover spans of about 10,000 years, with millions of years of relativestabilityinbetween.Also, Hayes found that tiny sea animals called radiolarians,

experienced tremendous “die-offs,” as documented by their hardexoskeletons that remain after they die, that coincidewith the earth’spolarityreversals.Oneofthosereversalscoincideswiththeextinctionofthedinosaurs.Additionalevidence suggests thatothermassextinctionscoincidedwithglobalpolarityreversals.Itistheorizedthatpolarityreversalsoccurwhentheearth’smagnetic

fieldisverylow.Whenonlyaweakgeomagneticfieldprotectstheearthfrom solar wind and ionizing radiation, huge numbers of animal and

plant species die. Currently, the comet-impact theory is favored as anexplanationfortheextinctionofthedinosaurs.However,thetheoryofadecreasedmagneticfieldoffersaplausiblealternative.Itispossiblethatbotheventsoccurredataboutthesametime,geologicallyspeaking.Studies indicate that theearth’smagnetic field isnow inaperiodof

decline, which may have a variety of unhealthy effects on livingcreatures, including behavioral changes, negative influences onreproduction,anddefectsinoffspring.Theobservationsofhowelectricalpolarity effects animal cells was explored by Robert Becker, M.D.(developerofbonegrowthstimulatorsused inorthopedic surgery)andothers,whofoundthatifaweaknegativepolaritycanbecreatedatthesiteofdamagedtissueornerves,itwillpromotehealingandgrowth.Thesespeculationsregardingtheeffectsofplanetarypolarityandthe

observations of polarity on physical healing help us understand moreeasily the effects polarity reversals can exert on an individual’selectromagnetic field. The reversal of a person’s energy polarity cansabotage attempts to make cognitive, emotional, and behavioralchanges. Corrections of reversals are immediately detectable usingmanualmuscletesting.Valerie Hunt, Ph.D., professor and researcher at the University of

California at Los Angeles, has demonstrated evidence of humansensitivitytoelectromagnetic(EM)fieldsusingaspectrographicprocess.Dr. Hunt’s UCLA lab contains a specially constructed room in whichambient electromagnetic (EM) andmagnetic energy can be controlled.Whensensitiveindividuals,suchashealers,wereplacedintheroomanddeprived of EM energy, they reported diminishedmental and physicalcapabilities and increased anxiety.When EM energywas raised abovenormal levels, however, the subjects reported feeling well, highlyconscious,withpositiveexcitementandphysicalacuity.When electrical radiation levels in the room remained normalwhile

magnetic fields alone were decreased, the subjects experiencedconsiderablelackofcoordination.Theyhadadifficulttimewithbalanceandevenperformingbasictaskssuchastouchingafingertotheirnose.With a magnetic field increased above normal, high levels of balanceand coordination were reported; subjects were able to lean over atsteeper angleswithout falling. Findings such as these indicate thatwe

arephysicallyandemotionallyaffectedbyambientelectromagneticandmagneticfields,bothpositivelyandnegatively.CertainlythereisagreatdealmoretolearnabouttheeffectsofEMfields.

TheMoleculesofEmotion

GeorgetownUniversityprofessorandresearcherCandacePert,Ph.D.,inidentifying the chemicals andmolecules responsible for activating thebody’s complex responses to emotional arousal, describes anotherpathway for the physiological effect of emotion on the body. Thiselectrochemicalpathway travelsbywayof the limbic system,which isthe brain’s emotional interpreter of incoming information, and downintothebodybywayoftheadrenalglandsandtheautonomicnervoussystem. In this process, specific brain cells are activated to producecomplexformulasofaminoacidandpeptideandneuropeptidechainsofmoleculesthatcommunicatewithvariouspartsofthebody.Thefiringofcertain nerve cells dispatches specific neuropeptide chains, which findbuilt-in receptor sites throughout the body that control physicalprocesses.Theseaminoacidneuropeptidechainsareabletoactivateordeactivatespecificbiologicalprocessesthatareinvolvedinemotionandbehavior.Dr.Pertcallsthese“themoleculesofemotion.”At the cellular level, positive and negatively charged neuropeptides

form the information link among the blood, the lymph system, anddigestion.Polarity shifts thatoccurat thecellular levelare responsiblefortheuptakeofmaterialthroughcellwalls.Hereagainarepolarities,positiveandnegativechargeswithin thenerve impulsesonthesurfaceoftheskin.Another confirmation of the existence of polarity in the human

organism is provided byMEG (magneto-encephalography), a relativelynew technique that measures the tiny magnetic fields produced byelectric activity in the brain. While still an evolving technology, thesophisticated electronics of MEG can identify the polarity of brainactivity at given moments in time. The ability to measureelectromagneticpolaritiesinthebrainmayonedayhelptoexplaintheunderlying mechanism of how thought energy influences polarityreversals.

Neuropeptide chain theories do not contradict thought energytherapies.Butwhat’smissinginthemolecularviewofemotionaleventsisanexplanationofhowthoughtenergyactivatesthenervecellsinthefirstplacetoproducethechemicalmessengersinthebody.Wehavetogobackupthatneuropeptidechain,tolookatwhattriggeredtheneuronto fireandcreate thatpeptide in the firstplace.Dr.Pert talksaboutaveryinterestingphenomenonthatmayofferaclue.Thereceptorsitesona nerve cell vibrate at a certain frequency. However, when theneurotransmitter locks onto a receptor site, the frequency changes.Somethingisgoingonattheenergetic,orvibratory,level.Ourthesisisthattheenergyflowinginthemeridiansactivatescertaincellstotriggerthemanufactureoftheneuropeptides.Weproposethatthoughtenergiesinteractwiththemeridiansystemto

activateanelectrochemicalcascade,whichtriggersparticularnervestofire, in turn generating electrical and chemical signals throughout thebody.Meridian and thought energy inharmonizing frequenciesdonotdisturbtheelectronbalancethatwouldtriggerthecascadeeffectonthenervecells.Thispropositionisbasedonthetheoriesofquantumphysicsandexperimentsconductedwiththoughtenergy.

TheQuantumWorld

Theworldofquantumphysicssuggestsyetanotherwayoflookingattheeffects of thought on subtle energy fields. The rules of the world ofthings,themacroworld,donotalwaysapplyatthequantumlevel.Energy fields are not composed of matter. They do not contain

“material” in the ordinary sense; they contain information. Yet thesefields affect thematerial world, just as iron filings are affected in thepresence of a magnetic field, and just as all objects, animate andinanimate, are affected by gravitational fields. Although unseen, theeffectsofthesefieldsarevisible.According to relativity theory,energyandmatterareequivalentand

interchangeable.Or,asEinsteinputit,E=MC2—energy(E)equalsthemass of an object (M) multiplied by the speed of light (C), squared.Energycanexisteitherinwaveorinparticleform.Awaveisessentially

energy in motion, whereas a particle takes up space. One fascinatingphenomenon of the subatomic world is that the observation of anelectronhastheeffectofchangingit.Thelawsofquantumphysicssaythatwhenweobserveasubatomicparticle—oncewe“see”it—wealterit. Itsmass anddensity are changedby the act of observation, and itsnextorbit locationwillbeunpredictable.Onceweobserveanelectron,weno longer canpredictwhatwillhappen to it.Wherewill it appearnext?Asthingsgetsmaller,theobserverhasagreaterinfluenceontheoutcome. Remember, this is at the quantum level; the chair in yourliving roomwill remainunalterednomatter how long you stare at it.Couldthebasisofcognitivepsychologybethattheveryactofobservingourthoughtsisthekeyelementthatcreateschange?AnexperimentconductedbyStanfordUniversityengineeringprofessor

William Tiller, Ph.D., vividly demonstrates the powerful effect ofintentionalthoughtonmatter.Dr.Tillerconstructedasensitiveelectricalcapacitor thatcouldbedischargedbyaminuteelectrical influence.Hefound that ordinary people, with no special abilities, could cause thecapacitortodischargemerelybyfocusingtheirthoughtsontheintentionto do so. The magnitude of influence on the capacitor from theseintentionalthoughtswasenormous.Intentionaloneapparentlytriggeredthecapacitors’dischargethousandsoftimeswithinafewminutes.Whenthesamesubjectsdirectedtheirthoughtselsewhere,therewasnoeffect;the capacitor did not discharge. Dr. Tiller also found that having hissubjectsholdtheirhandsnearthecapacitorwashelpfulbutbynomeansnecessary.Evenwhenthesubjectswereatgreatdistances,orwhentheycouldnotseethecapacitor,itcouldbemadetodischarge.How information is communicated through “thin air” is another

mystery illuminated by the quantum paradigm. How do our thoughts“travel” from one place to another—from our brain to our emotionalreactions, fromhere inourmind to there inourbody?Do they travelsome sort of path from point A to point B? At the subatomic level,somethingcangofromonepointtoanotherwithouteverhavingtobeanywhereinbetween.Theexampleof“jumping”ofelectronsfromoneorbit around an atom to another, theorized by Nobel Prize–winningphysicist Niels Bohr, is the classic “quantum leap.” According to therulesofquantumphysics,thereisnowayofknowingwhereanobserved

electron will turn up next; there are only probabilities. The notion ofpredictabilityevaporatesatthequantumlevel.In 1997 a remarkable scientific observation followed up on earlierfindings that subatomic-sizephotons could communicate instantlyoverlargedistances.Researchersat theUniversityof Innsbruckputphotonsintoanopticaldevicecalledabeamsplitter.Thebeamsplitterdividedthephotonsofasingleatom,whichthentraveledindifferentdirections.Researchers found that when the spin of one paired photon wasdeliberately reversed, the other photon, a considerable distance away,reversed its direction as well. Information was instantaneouslycommunicatedfromoneplacetoanother.Hereisproofofwhatiscalled“nonlocal”effect: thatwhathappens inoneplacecanhaveaneffect—seeminglyacrosstimeandspace—onwhathappensinanotherplace.Thus it seems clear that thoughts exist independent of physiologicalstimulus or aside from a response to our internal or externalenvironment.Wecangenerateathoughtintentionallythathasnothingto do with survival or merely stimulus and response. Our humancapabilities of abstract thought are not just the by-product ofbiochemical processes, as some scientists would have us believe. It’snever“allinyourhead.”Thethoughtthatyouhaverightnow,whateverit is, is vital to all partsof youandexists all throughyouandaroundyou.Quantumphysicsexplainshowthatcanoccur.

MutatorGenes

No one theory seems adequate to answer all the questions about thehuman organism, not even genetics. The mechanistic model forunderstanding biological behavior based on DNA blueprints is grosslyinadequate.Genetictheorystatesthatthegenesarefixed.AccordingtoDarwiniantheory, genes are mutable only over time, by way of accidentalmutationscausedbyrandomfactorsintheenvironment.Ifthemutationsare survivable or improve the survival level of the species, the newcharacteristicwillpersist.Ifnot,itwilldieout.But in 1988 research by geneticist John Cairns, Ph.D., at Harvard’s

School of PublicHealth, turned up genes in bacteria that can responddeliberately to environmental factors.Thisdiscoveryofmutator genes,genes that canmodify other genes, is revolutionary. It means that anorganism can change its owngenetics in response to the environment.Essentially,whatDr.Cairnsandothershavefoundisthatorganismsdonot need towait for randommutations in order to adapt and survive.They can mutate on their own under stress and cause other genes tochange andbetter respond to the environment. This discovery is quitestartling.Itmeansthatgenesarenotapreordainedblueprint;theycanbealteredthroughanintentiontochange.Notsurprisingly,theparadigmpolice, as science and technology journalist RichardMilton calls somescientists,havebeenunenthusiasticaboutthefindingsofDr.Cairnsandotherswhohavereplicatedhisresearch.ButDr.Cairn’sobservationsaresupported by molecular biologist Alexander Rich and his colleagues,whoin1999publishedevidenceofwhattheytermed“editor”moleculesofRNA,whichmaybethegeneticmaterialthatallowsforself-directedchangetooccur.Dr.Cairns’sdiscoverygivesusanotherinsightintothoughtenergies.Itindicates that there is a consciousness at work, an intentionalintelligencethatrespondstoundetectable informationsources.Mutatorgenesmightexplainhowbacteriaaredevelopingimmunitysoquicklytoantibiotics and how these mutations are occurring, seeminglysimultaneously, in bacteria all over the world. The question becomes:Howisthisinformationtransmitted?

HlorphicFields

Here is a tantalizing theory: Perhaps bacteria are transmittinginformation synchronously throughout theworld via what the EnglishbiologistRupertSheldrakecallsmorphicfields.Theinformationinthesefields may be expressing itself in genetic changes. A CambridgeUniversity researcher and professor, Dr. Sheldrake theorizes that amorphic, or forming, field surrounds every organism and containsinformationaboutitsformandfunction.Itmayprovidethecatalystforsomethoughtactivityandcouldevenbeinvolvedinmemoryandotherinformationstorage.Sheldrakeprovidestheexampleofhowspidersofa

particularspeciesareabletoknowinstinctivelyhowtospincomplicatedwebswithouthavingseenanyothermembersoftheirspeciesdoit.Morphic fields also explain, far better than any other theory, theremarkable behavior of a certain species of cuckoo birds. These birdssmuggletheireggsintotheirnestsofbirdsofotherspecies,whichhatchandraisetheyoungcuckoos.Raisedapartfromothersoftheirkind,theyeventually migrate independently to another continent where theyfinallymeetup,andcongregatewith,othersoftheirkind.Howdotheyknowwheretogo?When a salamander loses a limb, how do DNA molecules knowpreciselywhere the limbhas been lost?Where is the information thatinformsthecellstobeginformingnewbone,nerves,bloodvessels,andskintissue,toregenerateexactlywhatisneededandnothingmore?Thisisatasksignificantlymorecomplexthanclosingawoundorrepairingabroken bone. To say that the genes contain all the information iswoefullyinadequate.Dr.Sheldrakethinksthatwemaybelookingatthebrainbackward.Inhis model, the brain acts as a receptor device and interpreter ofinformationavailableinthemorphicfieldofourspecies.Thebrainisalink in the communication process rather than the generator ofinformation. The brain could be a receptor organ that receives andinterprets information, even information beyond the five senses. Talkabouttuningin.Ifthisishardtograsp,hereisananalogy.Imagineaworldinwhichwehadnoinstrumentstodetectradiowavesthatwerebroadcast fromsomeunknownplace,butwehadradios(thinkofthemasgiftsofnatureorofGod),littleboxesthatproduceddifferentsoundsasyouturnedthedial.Inthatworld,scientistsmightexaminetheradiotodeterminehowitcreatedallthosesounds.Unawareoftheexistenceofunseenandundetectableradiosignals,wemight conclude that the radio produced all the programs. Scientistsexamining the radiomight conclude that electrical energy flowed intoand out of microchips and oscillators and into speakers. Researcherswouldcorrectlyidentifythatanelectricalfrequencywasconveyedfromthe radio to the amplifying system and eventually to speakers that

convert the electrical energy into sound we can interpret as music orspeech.Now suppose that one of the functions of the brain is to receiveinformation from themorphic fieldand interpret that information intoneural and chemical responses. The unseen broadcast station wouldrepresentthemorphicfield,theradiowouldrepresentthebrain.Morphic fields explain a good deal that genetics leaves unanswered.The morphic field is essentially an information field, composed ofunknown forms of energy, which contains information about andavailable to a certain species. There is circumstantial evidence thatmorphicfieldsexist,asindicatedbythesalamander,spider,andcuckoobird.Ona theoretical level, such fieldsexplain significantlymore thanmechanicalorgeneticmodels.Perhapsthemorphicfieldhelpstostoreorrecordtheemotionalloopsthat wreak somuch havoc in our emotional lives.When a thought isgenerated related to a particular emotional loop, it also creates, or“forms,”thedisturbanceinthebody’smeridiansystemandactivatesthewholeemotionalresponse. It’s likeahologram.Onepart re-creates thewholeentity.In his research on the variety of human expressions, Paul Ekman,Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California at SanFrancisco,foundthatwhenpeople“faked”anemotionbymimickingtheassociated facialexpression, suchas sadness, theyexperienced someoftheemotion theywere faking. Itwasas if theexpressioncarried someinformation, some frag- ment of an emotional state, that could berecovered—perhaps from the holographic information stored in themorphic field. University of Iowa neurologist Dr. Antonio Damasioreports the case of an opera singer who said that it took tremendouseffort to remain separate from the extreme emotions of the characterssheplayed.Once,whileplaying inTchaikovsky’sQueenofSpades,shemerged so closelywith her character in an intensely frightening scenethatsheactuallybecameterrifiedherself.The existence of morphic fields also may offer insight into themechanisms of cognitive therapy. Cognitive therapy starts with thepremise that changing our thoughts produces a change in behavior.

Whatitcannotexplainishowthatchangeinthoughtcreatesthechangeinemotion,orhowthethoughtinteractswiththebody.Itmaybethatthe incoming stimulus interacts with the patterns of informationcontainedintheindividual’smorphicfield;Dr.Sheldrakewouldsaythatthatmorphicfieldisinfluencedbythetrendofallotherorganismsofthesame species. In other words, each species has some nativepreprogrammed response or pattern possibilities. The incoming signal,unique to that individual, interactswith those existingpatterns and inthatactionacorebeliefisencoded.Morphic fields bear an uncanny resemblance to what pioneering

psychiatrist Carl Jungwas describingwhen he spoke of the collectiveunconscious, an informational field created by, and accessible to,everyone.Jungwouldhaveunderstoodthisconceptinananosecond.

NoEasyAnswers

Wehavepresentedanumberoftantalizingcluestotheworkingsoftheemotions and of energy therapies. We have looked for links betweenelectromagnetism and acupuncture, neuropeptide chains and morphicfields, quantum theory and cognitive therapy. However loosely tiedtogether,thesedivergenttheoriesandobservationsprovideafoundationfor understanding how thought energy can interact with the body’selectromagneticfrequenciestocauseemotionaldisturbances.No single theory or line of inquiry tells the whole story of how

emotionswork.Althoughnew findings continue to shed lighton thesemysteries, there is as yet no “Theory of Everything” to explain all theobservable effects of ESM and other energy therapies. That thesemethods of resolving emotional distress work is clear, even if themechanismsarenot.Are you running out of energy from all this discussion? Try the

followingBalancedBreathingexercise.Itwillbalanceandenhanceyourbody’senergysystems.

BALANCEDBREATHINGEXERCISE

Properpolarityalignmentofthebodyisakeytoemotionalhealth.TheBalanced Breathing exercise, based on a two-thousand-year-oldmeditation, is a tried and true method for allaying anxiety that alsorebalances the body’s polarity.We have added elements of intentionalthoughtandvisualization inorder toengageall systems in theprocessandamplifyitseffect.Thephysiologicaldesignofthehumanbeingisverticallysymmetrical.

Withtheexceptionofcertainloneorgans,likethestomach,spleen,liver,and pancreas, we have matching left and right sides. The electricalpolarityofthebodyoperatesonbothnorth/southandeast/westaxes—orwhatwemighttermplusandminus,topandbottom,leftandright.ThepostureusedintheBalancedBreathingexercisecorrectsthebody’soverall polarity balance. The Balanced Breathing exercise is thepreliminarystepinall theemotion-specificprotocols. InChapter4youwilllearntocorrectforpolarityreversalsofyourthoughts.BalancedBreathingtakesabouttwominutes.Thephotoswillhelpyou

toget intotherightposture for theexercise.Onceyouare inposition,relax and breathe comfortably. Sitting in a straight-back chair is best,butBalancedBreathingcanbedonewhile lyingdownor inastandingposition.

1.

Crossyourleftankleoveryourrightankle.2. Extendbotharmsstraightoutinfrontofyou.

3.

Crossyourrightarmoveryourleftarmatthewrist.

4.

Rotatethepalmsofyourhandssothattheyarefacingandinterlockyourfingers.

5.

Rotateyourhandsdowntowardyourstomach.

6.

Continuerotatinginwardsothatyoubringyourhandsupclosetoyour chest.At this point youhave crossed the center line of yourbodywithyourhands,arms,andlegs.

Note:Ifitismorecomfortableforyou,youcanreversetheorder—rightankleoverleft,leftwristoverright.Itdoesn’tmakeadifference,aslongastheyareopposite.Onceintheproperposition,inhalethroughyournosewhiletouching

the tipofyour tongue to theroofofyourmouth.Exhale throughyourmouth,restingyourtongueonthefloorofyourmouth.Focusyourthoughtsontheconceptofbalance.Itmightbetheideaof

thebalanceofmindandbody,orjusttheword“balance.”Atthesametimepictureinyourmind,ifyoucan,animagethatrepresentsbalance.Thiscouldbetheimageofascale,oraseesaw,orstandingononefoot.Throughouttheapproximatelytwo-minuteprocess,breathecomfortably.Don’tworry if you are not always able to hold the thought or image;come back to it if you drift away. If you have trouble estimating twominutes with your eyes closed, you might calculate the number ofbreathsyoutakeinfifteenseconds,andrepeatthatcycleeighttimes.

…………………

You may feel surprisingly relaxed and clearheaded after doing theBalancedBreathingexercise.It’sagoodwaytostartthedayandtouseany time you feel out of sorts. We know from the work of Harvardresearcher and physician Herbert Benson and others that slow deepbreathing initiates a relaxation response, but this procedure also

properlypolarizestheelectromagneticenergyofyourbodyDon’tworryif your body is alreadyproperly aligned, youwon’t do anyharmwiththis exercise. At the very least you’ll feelmore relaxed, and you haveensuredthatyourbody’selectromagneticenergyhasproperpolarityandorganization.Nowyou’re ready for thenext levelof thoughtandbodyenergycorrections—polarityreversals.

T

FOUR

EnergyAlignment

CorrectingPolarityReversals

hepurposeofthischapteristogetyoupluggedinproperly,sothatyour intentionsalignwithyourunconsciousthoughts.Accordingto

thoughtenergytheories,blockstoourintentionstochangeandreleasenegativeemotionsareduetounconsciousreversalsinthepolarityofourthoughts.Dr.RogerCallahan’spivotaldiscoverywasthatthesereversalscould be corrected. The Polarity Reversal exercise that you will learnhereaccomplishesthatcorrection.Chapter3introducedBalancedBreathing,anexerciseforaligningthe

body’selectromagneticpolarity.Nowyou’regoingtostraightenoutthepolarityofyour thoughts.ThePolarityReversalexercise,an ingredientofallESMprotocols, isafoundationfordoingtheemotion-specifictapsequences. If thepolarityofourunderlyingbeliefsand thoughts isnotcorrect, the process will not work. In our clinical practice, we havefound that about 40 percent of emotional problems are blocked frombeingreleasedduetopolarityreversals.Whentheyarecorrected,someproblems resolve themselves. We believe that the phenomenon ofpolarityreversalsmayexplainwhytherapiesthatshouldbeeffectivedonotwork,orareonlypartiallyortemporarilyeffective,andmayexplainwhy medications are sometimes ineffective. Underlying polarityreversalsarelikelytoinhibittheeffectivenessofanytreatment.

InternalDisagreements

Polarity reversals exert a powerful pull. Most people have had theexperienceof feeling like theywereundoing theirownbest intentions.Wemightresolve toeat less,exercisemore,orbemoreorganized.Yet

somehowwhenthetimecomestoconverttheintentionintoaction,weget sidetracked. One minute we had decided, definitely, that we weregoing to take a walk every day … and the next thing we know, it’sbedtime andwe’ve onlywalked as far as the kitchen. Somehowwe’vefinished the whole box of doughnuts before we remembered our dietresolutions. At themomentwhen our behavior ought to have been inconcert with our intention, it went in a different direction. There aremanywaysinwhichweexperienceself-sabotage.

Leslieisagoodexampleofthewaythemindcansayonethingwhilethebodyoperateson a different wavelength. Leslie had been in a rocky and sporadically miserablerelationshipforseveralyearsandrecognizedthatherunreliableboyfriendwasnotgoodmarriagematerial. Itwasas ifhermindknewthat therelationshipwouldn’twork,buther emotionskepther from takingaction. Fearof beingalone, fearof beinghurt, andanxietyaboutthefuturekeptherfromleavinghim.Shefeltthateverythingshewasdoingwas theoppositeofwhatwasgoodforher.Every timeshe thoughtabout leavingCarl,herfearoflonelinessrushedin.

As soon as Leslie did the Polarity Reversal exercise, she became calmer and morerelaxed. Clearly something had already changed. We then went through the TapSequencefordisappointment.HerdisappointmentinCarlwasthesourceofconsiderableemotionalpain.ButinjustafewminutestimeitbecameclearthatabigfactorforLesliestayingintherelationshipwasherunwillingnesstoseethatshehadmadeamistakeinchoosingtobewithhim.Usingthesequenceforguilt,wetargetedthosefeelings.Nextshetargetedherfearsaboutthefutureandappliedtheformulasforfearandanxiety.

Itwaslikepeelingbackthelayersofpaintonabuilding,eachadifferentcolor,eachrevealingdifferent emotionalhues of thepast. Inabout twentyminutesLeslie’s distresslevelhaddroppedfromwhatshefeltwasa10ontheSubjectiveUnitsofDistress(0to10) scale,when thinking about living onher own, to a level of about 3.After furtherpolaritycorrectionsandanotherroundoftappingherdistress leveldroppedto0.Leslieknew she still had tomake some importantdecisions.Thedifferencewas that shewasnow able to consider options that she had not been able to see earlier. That clarityempoweredhertomoveforwardinherlifewithnewstrengthandfocus.

Wedonotunderstandwhyandhow these reversalsofour intentionoccur.Wemeantodowhatwesaidweweregoingtodo,butsomehowwegettrippedup.Correctingthereversalsinthoughtandbodypolarityalonemayrelievesomedistressorbringasensationofrelaxation.Some

peopledonotnoticeanydifference,althoughwhenwemuscletestafterthisexercise,wefindthatthemusclethatwasweakisnowstrong.Afterhersession,Lesliesaidthatshewasnowabletothinkclearlyaboutthefuture. Leslie left Carl a few months later and began a new life forherself.Itwasn’teasytomakethebreak,shereported,butshefeltmuchstronger,andincontrolofherlifeandheremotions.

WhatAreYourIntentions?

Leslie’s story tellsus agreatdeal aboutan important elementofESM,intention.Intentionisthefocusingofthought.Itisthewaytoorganizethought energy to serve our goals. But in order to have our consciousthoughtsgettotheirdestinationandhavetheeffectwedesire,weneedto clear away the underlying blocks in their path. This is what thepolarityreversalexerciseaccomplishes.Leslie’s tale also demonstrates that the underlying reversals are notconscious.Wearenotalwaysawareofhiddensaboteurs.Ourconsciousthoughtisthatwewanttobehappyorthatwewillbenefitfromgettingover our distress. But we may be unaware of the hidden reversals,lurkinginourmindsandbodies,thatforetelladifferentoutcome.Thesehiddenmessageskeepusfromgettingwhatwewantordoingwhatwesaywewanttodo.Itispossibleforpolarityreversalstoself-correct.Inthenormalcourseoflife,thisisoftenwhathappens.Ifwethinkaboutourproblems,talkabout themwith friends, even process them in our dreams, deal withthemintherapy,orjustwiththepassingoftimeandwithdistancefromtheoriginalprovocation,theymayresolvethemselves.It’stheonesthatbecome fixed and enduring that we can get rid of with the PolarityReversalexercise.

TheTwelvePolarityThemes

Therearetwelvestandardpolarityreversals.Oneisglobalinscope,oneaddressesthepossibilityofauniquelypersonalreversal,andeachoftheremainingtenfocusesonaparticularthemeormotifThroughtrialand

errorwehave found that these twelve themes cover just about all theunconsciousunderminingmotifsofourlives.Thetwelvepolaritythemesare:

Global— this reversal, which is used by itself in many ESMprocesses,concernseverythinginone’slife,thewholeballofwaxKeeping—referstokeepingtheproblemorreleasingitFuture—addresseswhethertheproblemwillcontinueDeserving—addressesthefundamentalissueofdeservingtobeovertheproblemSafety of Self— refers to the issue of personal safety should theproblemberesolvedSafetyofOthers—considerstheimpactonothersofgettingoverourproblemPermission— concerns whether we feel entitled to get over theproblemAllowing— focuses onwhetherwe allow ourselves to get over theproblemNecessary— pertains to the ability to do what is necessary to getovertheproblemBenefitofSelf—considerswhethergettingovertheproblemwillbeabenefitBenefitofOthers—considerswhethergettingovertheproblemwillbenefitothersUnique— takes into account most uniquely personal blocks orthemes

The bodynaturally seeks balance, equilibrium. If the polarity of theunderlyinglifethemeisreversed,thestimulationofaspecificmeridiansite while simultaneously holding two opposing thoughts (a positivestatementofself-acceptanceandthenegativeverbalizationofthetheme)will effect a correction. If that theme is not reversed, thepolaritywillremainproperlyaligned.Correctingforathemethatisnotreversedwillnot cause a reversal. There is nodownside risk. In its infinitewisdom,

thesystemwon’tcorrectwhatdoesn’tneedfixing.Eventhoughyoumaynothaveunderlyingreversalsconnectedtoalloftheselifethemes,youwillcorrectforalltwelvepossiblereversals,asa precaution. In a clinical setting, we muscle test and use otherdiagnostic tools and information to isolate the specific underminingreversals that a clientmayhave.Here, becausewe cannotmuscle testyou,andbecauseself-testinginvolvesfairlysophisticatedskills,wewillhaveyoucorrectforallpossiblereversals.Thewholeexerciseonlytakesafewminutes.

IntentionStatements

Asyoudo thePolarityReversal exercise, youwill tapor rub specifiedacupuncturesitesonyourbodyasyourepeat, threetimes,astatementhaving to do with each polarity theme. We call these IntentionStatements. These statements are similar towhat are commonly called“affirmations,”positivestatementsaboutdesiredgoalsorself-image.Butthere is a significant difference. Affirmations don’t acknowledge thepersistentunderlyingnegativitythatisthesourceoftheprobleminthefirstplace.Andsotheydon’talwayswork.Sometimespeoplekeeppumpingat their affirmations, feeling that iftheyjustsaythemloudenoughandoftenenough,orwritethemdownenough times, the changewill have to happen.Affirmations alone cantakepeopledownadead-endroad.Onsomelevel,peoplerecognizethisinternal conflict.“I can’t say that I deserve to get overmy guilt,” theyadmit.“Ijustdon’tbelieveit.”Well,theyareright.Wishingwon’tmakeitso,and,infact,inrepeatingaffirmationstheymaybediggingadeepertrenchforthenegativeunderlyingthoughttocyclearoundin.Buttheycansay“Itotallyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIdon’tdeservetoget over my guilty feelings.” There’s a big difference. The “even if”assuages the nagging doubts at the back of the mind. IntentionStatements are a way of stating your intention with self-acceptancewhileacknowledgingthecounterproductivethoughtsthatmayliebelowthesurface.Suchstatementsaremore likelytoresonatewiththe innertruth.Theyarenotlying;theyarenotjarring.Polarity reversals have nothing to dowith our conscious beliefs. To

ourconsciousmind,theymaynotevenmakesense.Wemayfeelthatwedo,infact,deservetogetoverourproblems,orthatitissafetodoso.IntentionStatements compensate for these hidden contradictions and

acknowledgeourunconsciousdifficultyinbelievingthepositivepartofthestatement.Bylinkingthepositivestatementofself-acceptancewiththenegativethemethatmaysabotageit,andbytappingtoreleasetheblockedenergyweallowthereversaltocorrectitselfThe“evenif”isabridge between the positive and the negative aspects, between theconsciousandunconscious,betweenthepolaropposites.Itequalizesthepositiveandnegative.Intention Statements set up an intentional “verbal polarity,” in that

opposing thoughts are includedwithin each statement. Each statementcontains an intentional polarity, a north and south pole. The exerciseproperlyorientsthepolarityofourthoughtsabouteachpolaritytheme.Self-esteemisvitaltohealthandwellness.Itisfromapositionofself-

acceptance thatwearegroundedtomovetowardchange.Theanalogyofweightlessnessinspacehelpstoillustratethepoint.Whenastronautsonthespacestationorshuttleareadriftinthecenterofthecabin,theycanmovetheirarmsandlegsaboutbutgonowhere.Yetwhentheyaregroundedtoastablestructure likeawall, theycanpushoffandeasilyfloat toanewposition.Self-acceptance is thegroundingthatallowsustomovetowardpersonalchange.ActionisimplicitinIntentionStatements.Theyaremissionstatements

aboutwhatwewanttoaccomplish:thecompleteandtotalacceptanceofourselves in spite of, or in the event of, some negative influence orcircumstance.Ultimately,themessageofthepolarityreversalexerciseis:“Iacceptmyself,nomatterwhat!”

“ItstheThoughtThatCounts”

Theelectromagneticenergyofthoughtisbelievedtobethecausalagentofemotionaldisturbance.For themostpart, thedisturbance ispresentonlywhen the negative thought is activated.When the thought is notthere,wefeelOK.That’swhydistractionworks,that’swhywedoallthe

thingswedotoavoiddwellingonourproblems.Eventually,though,ifwe don’t address what’s bothering us, no amount of distraction—noamountofdrinkordrugs,no spending spree,noamountof aggressiveweighttraining—willholdthosefeelingsatbay.Weneedmore.WhenyoudothePolarityReversaloranyESMexercise,youareasked

to focus your thoughts. Focused thoughts resonate throughout yoursystem.Like thestringsonaguitar, resonanceadds textureanddepth.Focusing our thoughts amplifies our intentions, enriching the energyfieldandamplifyingtheeffect. Ifyourthoughtsdrift toofarfromyourproblem,youwillnotgenerateenoughenergytocreateathoughtfield.Itiseasytosaythatitisimportanttokeepourthoughtsalignedwith

our intention. Butwith all the energy and emotion spent dealingwithlife’s daily necessities and intrusions, we do not have much time orstamina to focus on our intentions. The statements you’ll make whiletapping on the acupuncturemeridian sites are away of focusing yourthoughts.Themereactofrepeatingthestatementthreetimeswillcreatethe appropriate thought field. It is not absolutely essential for you tobelievewhatyouaresaying.Evenfakingsomeenthusiasmorbeliefwillamplify the effect of the treatment.Merely going through themotionswillputenergyintothesystem.Moreimportantthanthewordsisyoursincereconvictionthatyouwanttoresolveyourproblems.Yoursinceredesiretogetbetterisapowerfulexpressionofadeeperintentiontowardbalance,healing,andstability.

FollowingtheRules

Asyoulearnthepolarityreversalprocedure,youwilluseaverygeneraltheme in your intention statements. You will refer to “my problems.”Later,whenyouaredoing thePolarityReversalexerciseaspartof theemotion-specificESMprotocols,yourstatementswillfocusonthetargetemotionyouareaddressing.Youwillstatetheissueyouareworkingonmorespecifically:“myanger”or“myfearofheights”or“myjealousyofAnna.”Asyouwill see inChapter9, specific intention statements alsowillbeincorporatedintothetapsequencesofcertainprotocols.Asyoutaporrubthedesignatedspots,youwillrepeateachintention

statementthreetimes.Wehavefoundthatifyouverbalizeastatement

atleastthreetimes,youcannotavoidcreatingathoughtfieldassociatedwiththatstatement.Youhaveactivelyfocusedandgivenenergytothatthought.There is nothing magical in the particular words of the twelveIntention Statements that you will make in the Polarity Reversalexercise. It’s the concepts that are important. Butwe have found thatthis structured set of polarity reversals covers nearly all bases. As youworkwith the ESM system, youmay find that youwant to tailor thestatements so that they soundexactly right toyou. “Deserve”maynotfeellikequitetherightwordforyou.“Safety”maynotfeellikeanissuethatconcernsyou.Butindulgeusandsticktothescript.Fornow,repeatthestatementsjustastheyappear.Wordshavepower,andyouareusingwordstohelporganizeandproducecertainthoughts.Atthisstage,tinkeringtoomuchwiththewordingmayunderminetheeffectivenessoftheexercise.Theeffectofpolarityreversalsissocrucialthatifthere’sevenonereversalleft,itwillsabotagetheentiresequence.WewantyoutosucceedthefirsttimeyoutrytheESMprocedures.Asyoubecomefamiliarwiththeseprocedures,you’llfindthatthereisampleflexibilityintheprocess.Prettysoonyou’llbeanoldproandcancustom tailor intention statements that resonatewith the exact feelingyouwanttoconvey.Chapter8willgiveyousomeguidancewiththis.

ANoteAboutPolarityDisorganization

Wewanttomentionanotherissuewithregardtopolarity.Inourclinicalpractice, in the course of administering thousands of ESM treatments,occasionally we have found people with what we call polarity“disorganization.” They seem to have no detectable polarity, or theirpolarityischaotic,likeajumbleofforksandspoonsturnedeverywhichwayinadrawer.Whileuncommon,suchdisorganizationcankeepyoufromgettingtheresultsyouanticipate.Chapter10providesexplanationsforpolaritydisorganizationandwaystocorrectit.

TAPLESSON1

TappingTips

TappingTips

Now you’re going to learn how to tap on the ESM meridian sites.Becausethis is thefirst timeyouwillbedoingthetappingprocedures,we want to give you a few pointers. Tapping is part of all ESMproceduresexceptBalancedBreathing.First we want to reassure you that there is a broad spectrum ofeffective tapping techniques. Even though we demonstrate tappingtechniques to our clients, andmodel the exercises for them as we gothrough the procedures, they often can find their own unique tappingstyle.Tappingwithtwofingers(usuallytheindexandmiddlefingers)seemsto be comfortable and efficient for most people. And it ensures thatyou’recoveringthetargetsite.Somepeopleusethreefingersortheflatofallfourfingersatcertaintappingsites,inparticularattheunderarmspot, the rib site, and for theBack-of-HandTap. This is the can’t-missstrategy.ThefirsttimeyoutrythePolarityReversalexercise,tapfirmly.Erronthesideoffirmness,thenbackoffasyoudevelopconfidenceinthepredictabilityofthemethod.Itdoesn’tmatterwhichhandyouuse,andfeelfreetochangehandsatanypointintheprocess.Mostlocationsexistinpairs,oneoneachsideofthebody,face,orhands.ThetwosololocationsareUnderNoseandUnderLip.Fourtapspersecondisabouttherightspeedandcomfortableformostpeople.Threetapspersecondisfine.(Butnotless;thereseemstobeathresholdlevelforeffectiveness.)Ifyouexceedsixtapspersecond,youmightconsideracareerasadrummer.The three tap sites shown here are used for the Polarity Reversalexercise.YouwilllearntherestofthetapsitesinChapters5and8.Chest:Wouldn’t youknow it, this is the only site that employs rubbinginsteadoftapping.Thechestspotislocatedabovetheheart,aboutthreeinchesoffthecenterlineofthebody.Itissometimesreferredtoasthe“sorespot,”becauseinmanypeoplethespotistendercomparedtothesurroundingarea.Tolocatethesite,probeinthatvicinityuntilyoufeelatenderspot.Usingthreeorfourfingers,rubinatightcircularmotion,about one revolution per second, outward toward your shoulder anddown toward your heart. It is important to maintain a firm steadypressureasyourub,asifyouweremassagingoildeeplyintothatspot.

UnderNose:Tapwithoneortwofingersdirectlyinthecenterbetweenthenoseandupperlip.

UnderLip:Tapwithoneortwofingersdirectlyinthecenteronthechinjustbelowthelowerlip.

POLARITYREVERSAL(PR)EXERCISE

Begin by doing the Balanced Breathing exercise to align the body’spolarity.Then,sittingcomfortably,taporrubthedesignatedpointwhilesaying each Intention Statement three times. It does not matter howquicklyor slowlyyouspeakeachstatement;dowhatever feels right toyou.

GlobalPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:Intentionstatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenwithallmyproblemsandlimitations.”KeepingPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:Intentionstatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwanttokeepthisproblem.”

FuturePR.Whiletappingunderthenose:Intentionstatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwillcontinuetohavethisproblem.”

DeservingPR.Whiletappingunderthelowerlip:Intentionstatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIdon’tdeservetogetoverthisproblem.”

SafetyofSelfPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:Intentionstatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifitisn’tsafeformetogetoverthisproblem.”SafetyofOthersPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:Intentionstatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifitisn’tsafeforothersformetogetoverthisproblem.”PermissionPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:Intentionstatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifitisn’tpossibleformetogetoverthisproblem.”

AllowingPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:Intentionstatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwillnotallowmyselftogetoverthisproblem.”NecessaryPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:Intentionstatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwillnotdowhatisnecessarytogetoverthisproblem.”BenefitofSelfPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:Intentionstatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifgettingoverthisproblemwillnotbegoodforme.”BenefitofOthersPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:Intentionstatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifgettingoverthisproblemwillnotbegoodforothers.”UniquePR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:Intentionstatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIhaveauniqueblocktogettingovermyproblems.”

PuttingthePolarityReversalExercisetoWork

After doing this exercise, you may feel relaxed, even tired or sleepyPeoplesometimesyawnwhenreadingthestatements—perhapsasmuchfrom the boredom of repetition as relaxation! Perhaps you will notnoticeanyeffectatall.WomenwithPMSmoodswingsoftennoticeanimmediate lifting of spirits, amore positive perspective.Menwho arepronetofeeling“downinthedumps”alsomaybeexperiencingcyclicalswingsinbodychemistrythattemporarilyproducereversals.TheBalancedBreathing andPolarityReversal (PR) exercises are the

preparatory organizing and clearing processes for the main tappingsequenceof eachprotocol.Theyalsohave enduringvalueas everydayskillsformaintainingemotionalbalance.In certain situations you may be asked to do one or more of the

corrections(usuallytheGlobalPolarityReversal)dailyforseveralweeksaspartofatreatmentprogramforparticularproblems.Chapter12willgiveyousuggestions for incorporating thisexercise intoa regularESMmaintenance program. For now, you may find it helpful to do the

BalancedBreathingexercise,thentheGlobalPolarityReversaleachday(all of which takes about four minutes), to maintain a generalizedpolaritybalanceandforitscalmingeffect.At this point youmay be grumbling to yourself, “But I thought this

was supposed to be instant relief.” Staywith the learning process. Theinstructionsmayseemcomplicated,becausewewanttogiveyoualltheguidancethatwegiveourclientsinperson,buttheactualprocessestakeonlya fewminutes.Relief foryour emotionaldistress isdeveloping instages. When the key that unlocks your distress is turned, you willexperiencethereliefyouseek,virtuallyinstantly.

PARTII

UnderstandingOurEmotions

I

FIVE

ESM

TheRemedyforEmotionalGridlock

magineaworldwithoutemotions,aplacewithoutlove,anger,orfear.Inthisstrangeland,noonegetsexcitedaboutbaseballgames.Come

to think of it, no one plays games, because there’s no pleasure inplayfulnessorcompetition.Icecreamisadullaffair.Artdoesnotexist.Andstories?Noonebotherstotellthem;withoutthecomplicationandintrigueofemotions,whocareswhathappens?There’snojoyinsex,nopleasure in work, no desire of any kind, no incentive to create, nodreams,nomeaninginexperience.It’sagoodthingwe’renotthere.Emotionsareaquintessentialelementofourhumanity.Ourlivesare

bathed in emotions, ranging from the relaxed contentment of aconversation with a good friend, to the slow-boiling frustration ofwaiting in a supermarket checkout line behind someone whose creditcard won’t go through. Vir-tually no human thought or experience isunaccompaniedbyemotion,whetherornotweareawareofit.Wehumansexhibitan impressiverangeof feelings.AccordingtoDr.

PaulEkman,therearemorethanonehundreduniquefacialexpressionsreflecting distinctly different emotional states, and they are found inpracticallyeveryculturethroughouttheworld.Richlydiverseemotionsareahallmarkofthehumancondition.Our thoughts, senses, and emotions are the infinitely colorful and

variablefibersofawarenessandmeaningofwhichourlivesarewoven.Our emotions serve us inmanyways. At themost fundamental level,they enable us to survive: Fear alerts us to danger and activates thefight-or-flightresponse.Anger fuels theability topersevere indifficult circumstances.Desire

assuresthecontinuationofthespecies.Beyondsurvival,ouremotionsplayanessentialroleinourcontinuinghealth,safety,andwell-being.Theygiveusvitalcluestoourcharacter,behavior, needs, and the quality of our relationships and experiences.Theyinspireustotakeaction,toevolve,andtolearn.Evenemotionswetendtothinkofas“negative”servenaturalandusefulregulatingrolesinouroverall functioning:Frustration, impatience,disgust,andangercanspurusintoproductiveaction.Anxietyandirritabilityletusknowwhenwe’vebeenpushingtoohardandcanremindustoslowdownandrelax.Loneliness can lead us to a deeper understanding of ourselves. Griefhelpsushealfromloss.Guiltkeepsushonest.Ourownparticularsetofemotionalresponsessetsusapartasindividuals,formingavitalpartofthepatternwecallourpersonality.Withoutouremotions,wewouldnotbeourselves.And yet our culture has tended to view “rational” thought as morevaluableand“enlightened”thanouremotions.Emotionsareoftenseenasmessy; they“get in theway”ofmakinggoodchoices.Aworshipofrationalitywasprobablyanaturalturnofeventsashumansdiscoveredtheir power to exert mastery over the environment and began tounderstand the workings of the world and the mind. Duringmuch ofhumanhistorywehavegrosslyunderestimatedthetremendouspositiverole emotions play in our lives. The Age of Reason wasn’t all it wascrackeduptobe.

EmotionsCount

Today we recognize the complex interplay between emotion andthought,andweunderstandthatbringingouremotionsintoplayinourlives is just as important as engaging our intellect. In the nineteenthcentury,psychologistWilliamJamesrecognizedthiswhenhenotedthat“the union of the mathematician with the poet, fervor with measure,passionwithcorrectness,thissurelyistheideal.”Asthehigh-techtwentiethcenturycomestoanend,DanielGoleman,Ph.D.,againpointsoutthevalueof“thedanceoffeelingandthought.”“The emotional faculty guides our moment-to-moment decisions,” hewrites, “working hand-in-hand with the rational mind, enabling—or

disabling—thoughtitself.”Golemancallstheabilitytomanageanduseouremotions“emotionalintelligence,”acapacitythatallowsustolearnbetter,createsuccessfulcareers, establish more meaningful relationships, and enjoy improvedhealth.AccordingtoGoleman,emotionalintelligenceincludessuchskillsas self-awareness, impulse control, altruism, self-motivation, empathy,and the ability to love.Onlywhenwe learn tomanage our emotions,andbringthemintoplayinallaspectsofourlives,arewemakingfulluseofourfaculties.Golemanmakesa strikingpointabout theabilityofouremotions toenable or disable thought. When our emotions are out of whack, wecan’t think clearly. Ifwewere applying our emotions intelligently,wewouldn’t have many of the problems that we do. We wouldn’t bewoundedandsufferingandwouldn’tbeinflictingpainonothers.Howisit thatouremotionsbecomesoreactiveandunbalancedthat theyhurtusratherthanhelpus?Whenwelookatthewaysinwhichouremotionsundermine our happiness and our best interests, it’s puzzling.Why dowereactinwaysthatclearlyarenotinourbestinterest,orthatclearlydonotmakeusorthosearoundushappy?

NoBadEmotions

Theappropriatenessofourresponsesisakeyindicatorofouremotionalintelligence.Thereisnosuchthingasawrongemotion,onlythewrongamount of the emotion at the wrong time. Aristotle put it this way:“Anyonecanbecomeangry—thatiseasy.Buttobeangrywiththerightperson, to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the rightpurpose,andintherightway—thatisnoteasy.”In love, work, and family relationships, unproductive emotions canleadtopoorcommunicationandaninabilitytoworkthroughandsolveproblems.Relationshipsare improvedwhenweareabletothinkaboutotherpeopleandrespondtothemwithoutbeingwhatDr.Golemancalls“emotionallyhijacked.”Whenouremotionshijackusintooverdrive,wereacttootherswithoutthebenefitofreason.Bymanagingouremotionsmore effectively, we are able to dissolve distressing emotions, whichallowsustothinkmoreclearlyandtouseouremotionalintelligenceto

makebetterdecisions.Whenourbeliefs aboutourselvesorourworldareoutof kilter, our

reactions are bound to be out of proportion to the provocation.Forgetting to pick up a quart of milk, we fume and curse and tellourselvesoverandover,“I’mjustabigidiot.”Twentyyearsagoweliedto a girlfriend about another woman, and in our mind the naggingthoughtisstill,“I’malowly,unforgivableweasel.”Sincethetimeinthefourthgradewhenweweren’tchosenforthesoftballteam,we’vebeenconvincedthatpeople thinkwe’re incompetent.Eversincewe’vetakenjobswellbelowourabilities,sothatweneveragainhavetofeelthatwedon’tmeasure up. Althoughwe have a job and a savings account,weworryaboutendingupasabagladydumpster-divingonthecoldstreetsofPoughkeepsie.

UsingEmotionalInformation

Toonedegreeoranother,weallhaveinnateemotionalintelligence.Inthenormalcourseofourlives,weuseemotionalinformationaspartofourdecisionmakingonsucharoutinebasisthatwe’rehardlyawareofit. However rational we think we are, however practical, there is nodecisionwemakethatdoesn’thaveanemotionalcomponent.Tomakesuccessful decisions, we depend on emotional responses to modify,inform,andbalanceourrationalandlogicalthinking.Ourhunchesand“gut feelings”offer emotional input.Gut feelings,which come literallyfrom the stomach and abdomen, may be, from an evolutionarystandpoint, the first brainwe everhad.The stomach contains someofthe same neurotransmitter receptors as the brain; the most primitiveorganisms experiencemuch of theworld through the stomach. Peoplewith emotional intelligence trust their intuition. They consider it anatural part of the decision-making process. Really smart peoplecultivatetheirintuitiveabilities.Theymakeuseofanyinformationtheycantuneinto,includingtheirphysicalreactions.Antonio Damasio, M.D., professor of neurology at the University of

Iowa College ofMedicine, and his colleagues set up an experiment todemonstrate how important the ability to use emotional informationwhen making decisions is. In the experiment, gambling was used to

represent the risks and rewards inherent in everyday decisionmaking.Half of the subjects in the study had suffered brain damage to theirfrontal lobes (the thinking part of their brain) and were hampered intheirabilitytomakesenseofemotionalinformation.Theotherhalfwerejudgedtohave“normal”emotionalmakeup.All the “players” were given $2,000 in realistic-looking playmoneyand told that their objective was to lose as little as possible whilegaining asmuch as possible. To play, each player selected and turnedoveronecardatatimefromanyoffourdecksofcardsstackedinfrontofhimorher.Eachcardrevealedanamountofmoneywonorapenaltytobepaid.What theplayersdidnotknowwasthatapatternwasbuilt intothesystem of rewards and penalties. Two of the decks were arranged toyield small rewards and small penalties. The other two decks offeredlarge rewards and even larger penalties. The decks that offered smallrewardsandpenaltiesworkfarbettertoachievethestatedgoalsofthegame.WhatDr.Damasioandhisteamfoundwasthatthesubjectswhohadsuffereddamage to the frontal lobeareascouldnot seem to figureoutthe internal system. In trying to isolate what was blurring thesesubjects’judgment, the researchers connected them to biofeedbackinstruments that measure skin conductivity which is associated withemotional arousal. They found that both groups showed emotionalarousalwhenmakinggooddecisionsandwhencostlycardswereturned.However, as the game went on, the non–brain-damaged subjectsbegantoexperienceemotionalarousaljustbeforetheyturnedoveracardfrom the decks that were likely to produce a penalty card. And thatanticipatory arousal increased as the game progressed. They weregettingemotionalinformationastheyplayedandwereabletorecognizeapattern.Tothedegreethattheywereabletointerpretthisemotionalinformation, it benefited theirplay.They learnedwhichdecks toplay,and which to avoid, by a measurable margin. The brain-damagedsubjectswerenotabletoprocesstheemotionalinformationthroughthefrontallobeandthereforecouldn’tbenefitfromitspowerstointegrate,compare,andorganizethatinformation.Thestudyoffersmoreevidencethat there is a biological advantage to having access to emotional

knowledge;itservesavitalpurposeinourgrowth,andsuccess.

CrossedWires

Ourthoughtsandemotionsdonotliveindifferentneighborhoods.Theyshareinformationonwhatisessentiallyatwo-waystreet.Ouremotionsaffect our thinking and our thinking affects our emotions. If you haveanydoubtabout thatnotion,simplycloseyoureyes foramomentandrecallahappymemory—thebestbirthdaypartyyoueverhad,huggingsomeoneyou love, savoringyour favoritedessert.Areyousmiling?Doyoufeelgood?Thenyourthoughtsareinfluencingyouremotions.Whenourthoughtsandemotionsareinsync,thenaturalebbandflow

toourresponsesaffectseveryaspectofourexperienceandeverychoicewemake.Mostofusfindstrategiesformanagingouremotionsthathelpus tounderstandandutilizewhathappens tous, to self-soothe,and toreleasethem.Whensomethingunpleasanthappens,wereflectonit.Wemullitover.Perhapswegetrightonthephoneandhashouteverylittledetailwith friends.Forsomeofus, ithelps tokeepa journal.Wemayturntodrawingormusictoexploreourfeelings.Orwerunfivemiles.Wemight dream aboutwhat happened, perhaps even revisit it in ourimagination, until we arrive at a point when it no longer bothers us.Therearemanywaystocultivateafeelingofmasteryovertheeventsofourlivesandtointegrateourexperiencesinsomeadaptivewayintoourworldview. Ideally, after we cross the bridge from agitation toacceptance,we takewhatever benefitwe can from the experience anddiscardwhat isuseless:unproductivebeliefs,distressingemotionalandphysicalreactions,andinappropriatebehaviors.Ofcourse,thisisnotalwayswhathappens.Sometimesanexperience

is so troubling, perhaps so rooted in old, unprocessed emotionalwounding,thatwecannotshakeit.Thesefeelingsbecometrappedinanemotionalloopthatreplaysitselfwheneverwethinkabouttheeventorwheneverweareinanywayremindedofit.

IfLeehearsasoundduringthenight,heisparalyzedwithfear.Hisautomaticthoughtis“Someoneisinthehouse,”eventhoughthereisnoevidencetosupportthatconclusion.Thedoorsarelocked,helivesinaneighborhoodwherebreakinsareuncommon,andhis

neighbor’sdog,whichbarksattheslightestprovocation,isquiet.

Whatsetsthisdisturbingpatterninmotion?Leegrewupinaviolent,innercityhousingproject.Shootingsandrobberieswereeverydayoccurrences.Walkinghomefromschool,gettingontheelevatortohisapartmentwerefraughtwithdanger.Asoundinthenightwasawarningtotakecover.WhereLeegrewup,fearwasanintelligentresponse.

Nowitisnot.Nevertheless,anystimulus,nomatterhowmildorseeminglyunrelated,thatcallsup the traumaticcircumstancesofhis childhood forceshim toexperience theworldasunpredictableandunsafe.Lee’sexperienceshavelefthimwithacorebeliefthathe isnot safe fromharm.Hehasdevelopedapatternofhypervigilanceand iseveronguard, certain he is in imminent danger. Although Lee is aware that his fear of anintruder is irrational, he cannot seem to break this automatic patternof pervasiveandunproductivethoughtsandreactions.

Atrappedthoughtloopcanbecomesostubbornthatyoucan’tputitoutofyourmind.Sometimesnothing isable todistractyou fromyourpoisonousthoughts—noamountofworkorexercise,food,ordrink.Youhavetroubleeatingand/orsleeping,youaren’tworkingwell,andyou’rebehavingbadly.Sometimescontrollingourthoughtsisnotthateasy.

ItAllComesDowntoStress

Onsomelevel,theendproductofourunproductiveemotionalresponsesis stress.Stress inandof itself isnotbad. It canbeamotivator; ifweweren’t stressed we might sleep late and get little accomplished. It’slargequantitiesofbadlymanagedstressthatcauseproblems.Ourstressisacombinationofculturalandpersonalfactors.Culturally,we’reoftenbowledoverbytheunrelentingpressuresofmodernliving—thespeedatwhichtechnologyadvances,thelongerhoursweneedtoworkinordertokeepup,thepervasivefeelingthatthere’snotenoughtimeinadaytodowhatneedstobedone.It’shardnottofeelthateverythingismovingtoo fast and that we’re being left in the dust. All this, on top of theemotionalburdenswecarryonourbacks.Thecurrentepidemicofanger isaby-productof thecumulativeand

unresolvedstressesofmodernlife.We’vebecomesoinuredtopervasiveimages of violence thatwebarely react to themon the eveningnews.The newspapers are jammed with news stories of drive-by shootings,

road rage, random violence, gang wars, and machine-gun killings inschoolyards.Moviesthriveonviolencechoreographedinslowmotionorwithrivetingspecialeffects.Out-of-controlangerisbeingheldupasthenorm. Dr. Ekman notes that “in prehistoric times, when you had aninstantaneous rageand for a few secondswanted tokill someone, youcouldn’t do it very easily—but now you can” because we have thetechnologytoactonouremotions.Information overload can overwhelm our ability to respond to ourexperiencescorrectlyorwisely,leavingusinsomewayslikethebrain-damaged subjects inDr.Damasio’s study, unable to organize and fullyuse our emotional intelligence. Irrational or impulsive behavior thatdisregards consequences is often the fallout of excessive, poorlymanagedstress.It is instructive to see how people respond differently to stress. Saytwopassengers inanautomobileget intoanaccident. Supposeneitheroneisatfault,andneitherisinjured.Yetonedevelopsanintensefearofdrivingandtheotherdoesnot.It’snotclearwhatcausesthedivergentresponse.Eachseemstohaveprocessedtheincidentdifferently;ineachcase, itmayhaverunthroughthebody’ssystemsviadifferentcircuits.For one person the experience never got past the primitive, fight-or-flight brain. It never made it to the neocortex, where it could bereasoned with. Somehow—by nature or nurture—the person whodeveloped the driving phobia had a lower threshold of tolerance forstressandhadaninsufficientmechanisminplacebywhichtodissipatetheemotionalintensityoftheaccident.

OnJanuary17,1994,anearthquakedevastated the communityofNorthridge,on theoutskirts of Los Angeles, causing extensive damage to roads, buildings, and otherstructures within a twenty-mile radius. At magnitude 6.7, the quake caused fifty-onedeaths, injuredmore than9,000people,and rackedupbillionsofdollars indamages.Thevastmajorityofsurvivorswentonwiththeirlives,rebuildingtheirhomesorperhapsmovingtoanotherarea.Theycantalkabouttheearthquakewithlittleemotionaldistress.Unfortunately,thatisnottrueforeveryone.

TheNorthridgequakelastedonlyfifteenseconds,butforsomepeopleitcontinuedtoreverberate. Jamie was one of those people. Jamie and her husband’s home shook sobadly that parts of it collapsed.Her husband,Allan, sufferedminor cuts.Although he

wassaddenedandfrustratedbytheloss,therewerenolingeringaftereffects.Jamiewasanother story.Although shewas physically uninjured, shewas terrified of returning toevaluate thedamage.Even froma safedistance, shecouldnotviewherhousewithoutbreakingoutinasweatandsufferingfromapoundingheart.WithJamiedisabledbyhertrauma,Allanhadtoreturnalonetosalvagewhathecouldandrebuild.Jamie’sdistresscontinuedtoescalateinthemonthsafterthequake.Shegottothepointwhereshecouldnot travel anywhere in her community where there were signs of the earthquake.Eventuallysheendedupstayingathermother’shome,fiftymilesaway.

Jamiehaddevelopedapsychological conditioncalledpost-traumaticstressdisorder(PTSD),aclusterofsymptomsthatlingerafteratrauma,disrupting work, social, and/or family relationships. PTSD ischaracterized by a certain set of symptoms: sleeplessness, anxiety,memoryloss,thefeelingthatoneisrelivingtheexperience,avoidance,and other disabling effects. Jamiewas still trapped in the earthquake.Traumaof this type respondswell to treatmentwithESM.WhenJamiefinallycametoouroffice,wewereabletobreakitsholdonher.What causes an overwhelming emotional reaction like Jamie’s todevelopandnotabatewiththepassageoftime?Theanswerisnotclear.Learning theory would suggest that a powerful single exposure to aconditionedresponsemightcreatesuchaneffect,particularlyinpeoplewho already are anxiety-prone. While that concept may account forsomeofthedysfunctionalbehavior,suchasavoidance,itcannotexplainthe wide range of distressing symptoms that can occur even in theabsenceofanystimulusorcuesfromtheoriginalevent.Itisasifsomeprocessthatordinarilyallowsforadissipationoftheemotionsbecomesblocked and prevents a resolution of the experience, so that themerethoughtofthetraumabringsonsymptomsofanxiety.FrancineShapiro,who developed Eye Movement Desensitiza-tion and Reprocessing(EMDR),hasatheoryaboutwhypeoplebecomestuck inanemotionalresponsewellpastthepointof itsbeingproductive.LikeDrs.Golemanand Damasio, Shapiro recognizes that powerful negative emotions canserveanadaptiverole,suchasimpressinguponushowtoavoiddanger.Shapiro believes that our information-processing systems provide anatural method for integrating distressing events, allowing us tomaintain mental and physical balance and to function effectively.However,shebelievesthatstrongemotionaleventscanoverwhelmour

natural mechanisms and cause the processing to become stuck in thenervoussystem.WhilePTSDisanextremeexampleofanemotionalloop,itdoesfallat

one end of a continuum of symptoms. The most trivial incident mayprecipitate an emotional loop, so that added experiences build uparound it, the way a pearl forms around a grain of sand. We are allinherently different, and each of us has traveled a different path towherewefindourselvestoday.Whatbothersonepersonisnoproblemforanother.Adaredevilracecardrivermaybeliterallyterrifiedtotellawomanthathelovesher.Amothermaybeassertivewithherchildrenyet is afraid to speak in public. Butwhetherwe are overreacting to acriticismfromacoworkeroravoidingatriptothedentist,wearestuckinanunproductivewayofreactingtolifeevents.

CognitiveTherapy:WhatWasIThinking?

Thefirststepinchangingmaladaptiveresponsesistobecomeawareofwhatwearefeeling.Thatiseasiersaidthandone.Especiallyaschildren,ournaturaltendencyistorepressemotionsthataretoopainfultobearor for which we might be ridiculed or punished. If our feelings wererepeatedlyignoredorinvalidated,weburythem.Eventuallywearenotevenawareof their presence, althoughourbehaviorbetraysour innerfeelings,evenwhentheyaredeeplyburied.It is also necessary to develop a sense of when our emotions are

appropriate and helpful andwhen they are not. Clearly someonewhopunches his boss in a fit of anger is behaving inappropriately; hisemotionsaresoun-managedthattheycontrolhim.Wheneverthetypeorintensity of our emotional response does notmatch the circumstancesthat provoked it, we will respond inappropriately. Some peopleexperienceabuildupofemotionasphysicaldiscomfort—muscletension,racingheart,shortnessofbreath.Othersexperiencehurt,heavyfeelingsanddisturbingthoughts.Theresponsemightshowupastheinabilitytogetoutofbedortheuncontrollableurgetospendmoney.Wemayfeelstuck,rough,raw,congested,out-of-sync,andjangled.Sometimesourthoughtsandouremotionsdon’tseemtobeconnected.

Themind says one thing and the body does another, as if the brain’s

chemical and electrical messengers are scrambled. We know, forexample, that the person we are dating is no good for us, but wecontinuetoseehimorher.Orwedesperatelywanttosavemoneyforanewcarbutareforeversquanderingmoneyonuselessgadgets.Wefeelabused by a critical and neglectful friend, yet we never confront thepersonandcan’tseemtobreakaway.Likemany therapies, cognitive therapy seeks to help usmanage our

emotions by working backward toward out belief system, seeking toalter it so that it is more productive. A basic precept of cognitivetherapy,whichisamainstayofmodernpsychology,isthatourthoughtsprecedeouremotionalresponsesandthat,tothedegreewecancontrolour thoughts, we can control our emotions. Rooted in the work ofpsychologist Albert Ellis, Ph.D., and psychiatrist Aaron Beck, M.D.,cognitivetherapymaintainsthathowwethinkaboutanevent—howweinterpret it—changes howwe experience it emotionally. If we changeourthoughtsaboutit,wechangeouremotionalresponse.Take,forexample,thesituationofawomanwhoisterrifiedofdogs,

tothepointwhereshemakesinconvenientdetourstoavoidthemandiscontinually scouting for escape routes along her way in case she isattacked. In the course of therapy, the woman might reveal beingviciouslyattackedbyadog longago.Acognitive therapistwouldhelpher examine the evidence of her current experiences. Together theymightlookcloselyatherreactiontooneparticulardogthathadscaredher just that day.Was it growling?Not really,justwhimpering.Was itthreatening?No,itwasbehindafence.Wherethen,thetherapistwouldask,istheevidencethatthedogwasathreat?Thetherapistwouldhelpthis woman make rational sense of her experience, prompting her tochangeherthoughtabouttheunlikelythreatpresentedbythedogandmove her toward composure. If she kept reinforcing this new way ofthinkingaboutdogs, then,whensheencounteredanotherbarkingdog,she would be able to evaluate the situation rationally. With newthoughtsthatthisparticulardogisnothreat,shewouldreactcalmly.

WrestlingwithCoreBeliefs

Cognitive therapy ultimately changes our emotional responses by

changing our core beliefs. Our core beliefs are formed by earlyexperienceswithourenvironment.Whenweareyoung,welearnwaysofmanagingouremotionsandrespondingtotheworldthroughall themany avenues by which we are socialized—school and church andcommunity,and,thesedays,themediabarragethatinformsusall.Butour primary influences were close to home, through the example andguidance of our parents, who in turn learned from their parents andtheirownlives.Weinterprettheseexperiencesaccordingtoourage,ourtemperament, and our circumstances. It is not only traumaticexperiences that distort our thinking. All our experiences, from themoment of birth, shape the core beliefs that affect our patterns ofbehavior. Our earliest experiences—when we have little ability tounderstandorinfluencethem—arethoughttomakeapowerfulimprint,even if we have no conscious memory of them. Sometimes in theformation of core beliefs,what really happened is not as important ashowweperceivedwhathappened.Corebeliefsaretheinnerinstructionmanualweunconsciouslyreferto

inordertodetermineourresponses.Theyarethesourceoftheingrainedautomaticthoughtpatternsthatdictateourresponsestodailyeventsandcircumstances.Ourautomaticthoughtstriggerourresponsessoquicklythat we often register only the emotion, and not the thought thatprovokedit.Manyofourautomaticresponsesarehighlyintelligent.Whenweface

newsituationsandchallenges,ourabilitytorecollecthowwefeltaboutcomparable past experiences helps us to make better choices in thepresent. Ifwedidn’thave some system inplace tohelpusprocess theeventsofoureverydaylives,we’dhavetostartatsquareonetorespondto every circumstancewithout thebenefit ofwhatwe’d learned in thepast. I lied tomyparentsand theyareupset; should Ido thatagain?Thatperson ismakingascaryface;whatdoes itmean,whatshouldIdo?Is theperson telling me she likes me telling the truth? How can I tell? Storedresponsepatternscomeinveryhandy.Changing thoughts through cognitive therapy is not for sissies. It is

kindoflikebendingsteel,mechanicallyshaping,throughsheerwillandeffort,thewayapersonthinksaboutaproblem.Cognitivetherapydoeswork. It takes theunproductive thoughtandslowlybutsurelybends it

sothatit’saltered.You’vealteredthedisruptionbecauseyou’vealteredthethoughtprocess;you’veshifted it.Tothedegreeyoucankeepthatbend going, it works. But one problem with cognitive therapy is thatautomatic thoughts and unproductive behaviors have a tendency tospringback.Itisnotsoeasytoreasonwithouremotions.It’sdifficultto“justsayno”toestablishedthoughtloops.Theyhavealifeoftheirown;theydon’tjustgoawaybecauseyoutellthemto.Ifyouthinkaboutit,theveryideaofreasoningwithyouremotionsis

anoxymoron.Witheffort,ofcourse,youcanmakeadent.Ifwemakeaseriousanddedicatedeffort to rootout thewrongheaded thinkingandreplaceitwithamoreproductivethought,eventuallywewillbypassthetriggerfortheemotionalresponse.Butemotionsarepowerful;workingthiswaytakesdiligence.Weleadbusylives.Manyofusdon’thavethestaminaordedicationtodowhatneedstobedone.

Alex,thefifty-three-year-oldmanagerofatravelagency,workedforalmostthreeyearswithacognitivetherapisttotrytomanagehisobsessivefearofillnessandhisdebilitatingbelief thathehadaseriousundiagnosedmedicalcondition.Alex’sproblemisnotplainandsimplehypochondria,becausehedoeshavesomehealthproblems.Hehasaminorheartconditioncalledmitralvalveprolapseandhesuffersfromlowbackstrain.

Alex spendsa lotof timewithdoctors—about eightvisits eachmonth—checkingouthissymptomsandfears.Hisprimarycarephysiciancallshima“highutilizer.”NoonecanfindanythingseriouslywrongwithAlex.What’shappeningisthatthechronicworryhastakenoverhislife,andinthelongrun,it’sliabletomakehimsicker.

The challenge for Alex, and for his therapist, was to learn to be appropriatelyconcernedabouthishealth,tosortoutwhatwasalegitimateconcernforworryandwhataspectsofhisconcernwereself-sabotaging.Aspartofhis therapy,Alexlearnedtopayattention to his automatic response patterns. Assiduously observing and cataloging hisresponses,helearnedtorecognizehiscognitivedistortions.Hecametoseehowhetwistedincominginformationtofithisownperceptualfilter.Ashebecameawareofthewaysinwhich he distorts reality Alex was able to formulate more constructive and realisticinternalstatementsorthoughtstocounterthenegativeones.Helearnedtorefusetogiveintonegativethinkingandtousereasontoexaminethetangibleevidenceofhishealthissues.

Thiswashardwork.Itrequireddailymonitoringofhisthoughts,moods,andbehavior.Alexhadtoremindhimselfconstantlytotuneintohisthinkingprocess,toseewhereit

wasleadinghimastrayandtoreplacethefearfulthoughtswithconstructiveones.Hehadtolearntostopobsessingabouteveryacheandhiccup.BythetimeAlexcametoseeus,he was doing much better, but to him the effort sometimes seemed just a substituteobsession,andsometimeshefeltlikeitwasalosingbattle.

Withthefirstroundofmuscletestinginouroffice,itwasclearthatAlexhadpolaritydisorganization, which would interfere with almost any therapy. The first step was toremedythedisorganizationwiththeFive-StepBreathingprocessandthentocorrect forpolarityreversals.Byperiodicallycorrectingthesereversalsandadministeringtheanxietyprotocol, Alex was able to more easily control and eventually eliminate his nerve-wrackingworry.

ESM:OperatingatFullPower

Whenwelearntotrustourfeelings,whenwehavelearnedthattheyarea reliable source of information,we ratchet our emotional intelligenceupanotch.Butnotallofusareluckyenoughtohavehadgoodmodels,non-traumaticchildhoods,oraresilienttemperament.Wehavetoworktochange, toovercomepasthurtsandexperiences.To thedegree thatwe can do this and install productive patterns in their place, ouremotional savvy increases. We develop a clear lens through which tointerpretourexperiencesthatcanbereliedupontohelpus.Wearelessreactive,nolongeratthemercyofourknee-jerkresponses.Abigstepinthisprocessinvolvesuprootingpatternsthatcauseusto

respondinunproductive,self-defeatingways.Asanyonewhohasspentyearsintherapycanattest,it’shardwork.ButESMisapowerfulallyinthis endeavor. The great advantage of Emotional Self-Management isthat it has the power to instantly break up long-standing emotionalloops.ESMislikeinstantcognitivetherapy.John’sexperienceisagoodexampleofwhatwemean.

Johnandhiswifecametoseemethedayafterreturningfromavisitwithhisfamily.Theminutetheycameinthedoor,Trishaslumpedinthechairlikeadeflatedballoon.Johnwasfittobetied,pacingupanddowntheoffice,rantingabouthisfamilyandpracticallyfoamingat themouth.His facewas redandhis shoulderswerecinchedup.He lookedlikehemighthaveaheartattack.Thevisitwithhisparentsandbrothershadbeentheusual fiasco, one in a long and unending history of unpleasant and frustrating familygatherings.

I wanted to use the ESM techniques on John right away, before he had that heartattackrightthereinmyoffice,buthewasfussingandfumingsomuch,andsosurethatnothingcouldhelphim,thatitwasimpossibletogethimtositstillandlisten.

SoIaskedTrishaifshebyanychancehadanyfearsorphobias.“Claustrophobia,”shereplied immediately. “So bad that I can’t drive with the windows up in the car.” Sheconfessedthatshewasfeelingclaustrophobicrightthereinmyoffice.Sowewentthroughtheclaustrophobiaprotocol,whichtookjustafewminutes.Shefeltimmediaterelief;theboxed-infeelingwasgone.

Johnwasstillventinghisangerandfrustrationtowardhisfamily,buthecouldn’thelpbutnoticethechangeinTrisha.IsaidIthoughtIcouldhelphimwithhisanger,thesamewayIhadhelpedTrishawithherclaustrophobia.

OneofthegreatthingsaboutESMisthatyoudon’thavetodwellontheproblemoreven know exactly where it came from. In John’s case that was a good thing, sincestewing about the problem was already driving him crazy. John consented to thetreatmentthat,again,wasverybrief.Thefumingstopped,andhiscolor,Iwasrelievedtosee,returnedtonormal.

Calmandrelaxednow,hesatdownnexttohiswife.Isaid,“Howareyoufeeling?”Withoutanyotherpromptingfromme,heofferedthemostastonishinginsight.Hesaid,“Youknow, I realize that Ican’tchange them. Icanonlyworkonfeelingbetteraboutmyself.” He experienced this insight and awareness—this clarity of thought aboutsomething that had dogged him for decades—after one ten-minute process. Theeliminationofangercompletelyrestoredandbalancedhisviewoftheworld.Trisha’sjawhaddropped.“Hastherebeenanalienabduction?”Shelaughed.“Healwaysseemstobeinasnitabouthisfamily.I’veneverseenhimthiscalmwhiletalkingaboutthem.”

ESM’s magic is that it makes quick work of rooting out stuck,unproductive patterns and responses. Peoplewhohave experienced anemotional trauma in the past may avoid focusing on that memorybecause of the pain involved. The avoidance prevents them fromexploring andunderstandingwhat they couldhave donedifferently orhowtheycouldavoidthesituationinthefuture.WithESM,theydon’thave togo into thedetailsof thepastexperience.However,afterESMtreatment,itisoftenmucheasierforpeopletofacethatpasteventandprocessit.Andlearnfromit.ThewayESMworks, thenatureor sourceof thedisturbancedoesn’tmuchmatter. It couldbe theoriginalwiring,or inherent sensitivity. It

could be learned sensitivities or personality or upbringing or biosocialfactors. It’s not somuchwhy it happened but howwe intervene thatmakes the difference. We are not working to change the stubbornthoughts themselves. We are clearing the disturbance in the body’senergythatkeepsthemtrappedandproducesthephysicalstimulusthatleads to emotional distress.We are clearing a path bywhich they canexit.ESMprocessesdislodgetheinterferencetothefreeflowofthebody’senergy, or chi. If the disturbance persists,we can’t completely processcertain emotions. ESM instantly dissolves the stuck point and releasesthe negative emotional load, opening the floodgates for the trappedenergies to flow freely and self-correct the imbalance. In breaking theloop,ESMrestoresthebalanceofthinkingandfeeling.PeopleusingESMtechniquesoftenreportthatafterwardtheyareableto think about the situation more clearly and productively. John’ssudden insight that he could not control his family is one example ofthat.Johnalwaysknewthis;it’sbasicwisdom.Butsomehowhecouldn’tgettothatplacewhiletheoldpatternstoodintheway.Whenweareinthegripofemotion,seeminglysimpledecisionscanloomlarge.

Aself-described“nervouswreck,”Evelyncametousinawelteroffearaboutaskingherboss foraraise.Fornearlyayearshe’dbeenconsumedwith this issue, to thepointoflosing sleep thinkingabout it. Shewaswearingdown the patience of her husbandandfriends,constantlyspinningdetailedscenariosaboutwhatshemightsayandwhenwouldbeagoodtimetotalktoherboss.Thentherewerethewhat-ifs—whatifshewerefired,whatifshecouldn’tfindanotherjob,theymightlosetheirhouse,thekidswouldsuffer—anightmareoffantasizedoutcomes.

AfewdaysafterwetreatedEvelynforfearandanticipatoryanxiety,shewroteanotetosay thatshehadaskedherboss foraraise,adding“NowIcansee thatmyrequestwasreasonableandbasedonall thehardworkIhavedone.Mybossmayormaynotagree,butIknowthatIamnotunreasonableinasking.ForsomereasonIcouldn’tseethatbefore.ItfeltlikeIwasbeinggreedy,oratleastIwasafraidthat’showshewouldseeme.”Thisseemslikealogical,no-brainerinsight.Butwhenwegetenmeshedinstrongemotions,wecannotthink—orfeel—straight.

Theabilitytoworkwithyouremotionsisamajorlifeskill.ESMlaysthe groundwork for profound changes. When you begin to use ESM

techniques,youwillnoticeincrementalimprovementsinyourabilitytohandletheeverydaystressesoflife.Onceyougettheunderbrushclearedaway, you immediately begin to manage emotions better, and yourproblem-solvingability improves.Astimegoesby,youwillnoticethatyoudonothaveasmanydisturbingproblems.Whentroublesomeissuescomeup, you find you are able tohandle themwithoutundueworry.With all available sources of intelligence working for you, you mayfinally feel like you’re running on all cylinders—and the followingexercisewillhelpyoutodojustthat.

THERAPIDRELAXER

Note:TheRapidRelaxerwillbemosteffectiveifyouhavealreadycorrectedforpolarityreversals.The Rapid Relaxer is the secret weapon of ESM, a simple but verypowerful technique that instantly reduces stress and tension. Onceyou’ve learned the steps, the Rapid Relaxer takes only about thirtysecondstodoandprovidesacalmingeffectthatlastsabouthalfanhourto an hour. It’s not a permanent treatment—that is, it won’t removephobias or undo emotional loops—but it will relieve tense, stressfulfeelings,cuttingyouremotionaldistressinabouthalf.Youcanrepeatitasoftenasneeded for further relief. Inour stressful lives, it’s ahandytool tohave. For this technique, the focus of your thoughts canbeonyourpresentphysicalormentalsensationsoftensionorstress.The Rapid Relaxer combines tapping with humming, counting, andeyemovements.Thiscombinationofactivitiesmayseempeculiar—abitlikehoppingonone footwhile juggling.But there is amethod to thismadness. The process involves all of you; it gets all systemscommunicatingwhileitbalancesyourenergies.All the procedures involved help to integrate the energy of yourthoughts through various regions of your brain. Humming stimulatesright-brain activity, while counting stimulates left-brain activity. Eyemovementsactivateregionswithinthevisualcortexandintegratebothhemispheresofthebrain,activatingboththecerebralandvisualcortexwhile the distressing thought is present and active.While the tappingtreatment adds energy to themeridian at an acupuncture site, the eye

movementsbalancethethoughtenergymorecompletelythroughoutthebrain.The Rapid Relaxer combines two ESM procedures, the Eye Roll andtheBridge,withtappingatanewsite,theBack-of-Handspot.You’llusethese two elements of the Rapid Relaxer separately in the emotion-specificprotocols.Herewewill teachyou the twoexercises separatelyandthenshowyouhowtheygotogethertomaketheRapidRelaxer.Butfirst—theBack-of-HandTap.

TAPLESSON2

TheBack-of-HandTap

Doyourememberyourfirsttaplessonfrompage68inChapter4?NowyouaregoingtolearntheBack-of-HandTap,whichyouwilldosteadilythroughouttheRapidRelaxer.To locate theBack-of-Hand spot,makea fistwithonehand.On theback of your hand, locate the indentation, or valley, between theknuckleofyourpinky fingerand theknuckleofyour ring finger.Nowtracebackaboutaninchinthedirectionofyourwristintheindentationformedbetweenthetendonsofyourpinkyandringfingersonthebackofyourhand.Nowthatyou’vefoundit,youcanreleaseyourfist.

Toperform theBack-of-HandTap,use the flatof four fingers (that’show most people do it; you may feel more comfortable using fewerfingers) of your opposite hand and tap—or lightly slap—the Back-of-Handspot.You’llbemakingaboutfourtapspersecond,butdon’tworryaboutprecise speed; thismethod is forgiving.Practice the tapnow, sothatyoucankeepupasteadyrhythm.

THEEYEROLL

THEEYEROLL

TheRapidRelaxerbeginsandendswithacontinuouseyerollwhichisdonewhile tapping the Back-of-Hand spot. Before adding the tapping,let’srunthroughjusttheeyemovement.Throughouttheexercise,keepyour head level, facing straight ahead.Move only your eyes, not yourhead.Beginwithyoureyesclosed.Openyoureyes,lookdown(atthefloor

ifyou’restanding,orintoyourlapifyou’resitting),andwithyoureyes,slowly trace an imaginary line straight forward across the floor to thewall in front of you.Continue slowly rolling your gaze up thewall towhereitmeetstheceilingandthenbacktowardyouacrosstheceiling,untilyouarelookingaboveyou;stopthere.Giveitatrynow.It’snotarace;thewholesequenceshouldtakeabouteightseconds.Onceyou feelcomfortabledoing theEyeRoll,add theBack-of-Hand

Tap,keepingupasteadytappingrhythmallthewaythrough.TheEyeRoll sequence consists of this eight-second eye movement whilecontinuouslytappingtheBack-of-Handspot.

THEBRIDGE

The Bridge consists of a series of eye movements, humming, andcounting,allthewhilekeepinguptheBack-of-HandTap.TheBridgeispartofeveryemotion-specificprotocol.IntheRapidRelaxer,theBridgeis like the filling ina sandwich inwhich theEyeRoll is thebread.AsyoudidwiththeEyeRoll,practicethissetofactivities(eyemovements,counting,andhumming),asshownintheillustrationsbelow,untilyoucan do the sequence easily.When you feel comfortable and confidentdoingtheseninesteps,youcanaddthecontinuousBack-of-HandTapasyougothroughtheprocess.Itwillonlytakeafewminutesofpracticetogetthehangofit.

1.

Startwithyoureyesopen.

2.

Closeyoureyes.

3.

Openyoureyesandglancedowntowardthefloortoyourright.

4.

Glancedowntoyourleft.

5.

Rotateyoureyesinafullcircleinonedirection.Makesureyouarenotskippinganypartofthecircle.Itmaytakealittlepracticetobesureyouaremakingacompletecircle.

6.

Now rotate your eyes around in a complete circle in the oppositedirection.

7.

Humaboutfivenotes.Thismightbea familiar tune,suchas“HappyBirthday”orjustmakeupafewnotesofyourown.

8.

Countfromonetofive.

9.

Humafewnotesagain.

Trythisafewmoretimes.Practicesothatyoucandotheninestepsfrom memory or with the aid of the visual prompts provided. Thencontinuously tap the Back-of-Hand spot as you go through the wholesequence.Gotit?That’stheBridge.

…………………

PuttingItAllTogether

Finally, you get to do the whole thirty-second spectacular, the RapidRelaxer:EyeRoll,theBridge,andanotherEyeRoll,tappingtheBack-of-Handspotallthewhile.Practicethewholesequenceafewtimes,untilyoucanmove through it rapidlyBepatientwithyourselfasyoumovethrough the learning curve of these procedures. Mastering the RapidRelaxer will not only bring you rapid stress relief, it will give youconfidence in Emotional Self-Management. At first you may need thevisualinstructions,butsoonitwillbecomesecondnature.Nowyouhavethesecretweapon.Useitingoodemotionalhealth!

C

SIX

GettingReadyforChange

LabelingandRatingYourEmotionalDistress

hapter 5 discussed the importance of managing your emotions,which, as its name implies, is at the heart of Emotional Self-

Management.Thischapterwillguideyouthroughthepreliminaryself-diagnostic steps of the ESMprocess, vital prepwork for administeringtheemotion-specificprotocols.Your task is first to identifyasbestyoucan the feelingsor issues thataredistressingyouand then toevaluatethe intensityofyour feelings.Monitoringyourdistress levelduringthecourse of the treatment enables you to measure your progress.Identifying multilayered problems is another preparatory matter. Youwill learn how to administer sequential treatments that peel away thelayersofemotionaldistressastheyarise.

LabelingYourEmotions

Inmanyinstanceswearecrystalclearaboutthenatureofourfeelings.We are clearly angry, definitely grief-stricken, most certainly anxiousaboutanupcomingmammogram,absolutelyterrifiedofflying.Atothertimes,it’shardtolabeljustwhatisdistressingus.Whenwearecaughtinouremotionalexperience,wenormallydon’t

pay attention to exactly what it is we’re feeling. In the middle of atemper outburst or crying jag, we don’t pause to reflect “Now, am Ibeing angry, or am I feeling rejected? Is it shame I’m feeling, orembarrassment?AmIsadorregretful?”Sometimesouremotionspileupin such rapid succession that we can’t keep up. At one point we’refrustrated, then angry, then we become unexpectedly sad. Or we’reconfusedaboutwhatwefeel—wedon’tknowwhethertolaughorcry.

When it comes to choosing an ESM protocol, these distinctions areimportant. The ESM protocols can have a laserlike accuracy; each iseffective for a specific category of emotional symptoms. Throughobservation and manual muscle testing over the thousands ofapplicationsconductedinourclinicalpractices,wehavedevelopedandrefined the unique formula, or Tap Sequence, that works for eachemotionorissuelisted.Forexample, theTapSequencesforangerandjealousyaredifferent,and choosing the wrong one to address your problem can affect theoutcomeofthetreatment.Ofcourse,ifonesequencedoesn’twork,youcanalwaystryanother.Forexample,iftheprotocolforanxietydoesn’twork, you can administer the sequence for fears and phobias. But themore accurately you label your feelings, the greater your chance ofimmediaterelief.Formaximumbenefit,hittingthebull’s-eyewithyourself-diagnosiswillpayoff.Thisisnotmeanttoletyouoffthehookintheself-diagnosisprocess,butthereisafallbackposition.InChapter9you’llfindaComprehensiveTapSequencethatoftenprovidesreliefwhenspecificprotocolshavenotworked. Because it includes elements of many commonly overlappingemotions,itissignificantlylongerthanmostofthespecificsequences.

ActivatingtheThoughtField

WhenyouapplytheESMprotocols,youwillholdinmindtheproblemthat you are working to heal. This is the cognitive component of theprocess. Thinking about the problem, and verbalizing it, creates a“thoughtenergyfield.”Onceyouareclearabouttheemotion,youwillbe asked to hold in mind the issue, or some aspect of it, as you gothrough the procedure. Keeping your focus on the problem keeps thethoughtfieldactive.AsyouadministertheTapSequence,youmaywanttosay“theguilt”or“theanger towardJim”or“the fearof snakes”asyoutapateachsite.Onewayoftuningintothethoughtfieldrelatingtoyour distress is to imagine the object of your emotion, such as thepastries youwant to stop eatingor the snakes you fear.Or youmightfocusonthepersonorsituationthatprovokesyouremotionalresponse.SomeofourclientshavewonderedifESMworksbecauseallthetapping

and repeating intention statements and humming distracts them fromtheir distress. ESM works not on distraction but on focusing ourthoughts.What if it is painful to think about?You may be dealing withsomethingthat isverypainful to thinkabout—atraumafromthepast,suchasanaccidentoradeepgriefoverthedeathofsomeoneclosetoyou.Thereisnoneedtorelivethatpainorcallupinfullforcethestressit often provokes in order for the procedure to work. Just a thoughtabouttheproblemwillsuffice.Inmanycasesofemotionaltrauma,theperson is constantly thinking about or aware of thememories and nospecial“tuningin”isnecessary.Ifaproblemhasalongandcomplexhistory,itisusuallysufficienttofocusonjustoneaspectofthelargerproblem.Youdonotneedtorecalleveryscreamingbattleatthedinnertableortheday-to-daydeprivationsofyourfamily’spoverty.Inacaseofabusethattookplaceoveraperiodofmonthsoryears,itisnotnecessarytorecallallpastincidents.Oneortwowillsuffice.Typically,ongoingpasttraumawillhavegeneralizedinthememory,sooneincidentwillbringup“allofthat.”TurntoChapter8formoreonthistopic.Note:Ifyouarefeelingoverwhelmedbyatraumaticincident,itisimportantforyou to seekprofessionalhelp toovercome thisdistress.Resources in theappendixcanhelpyoufindaprofessionalwhoutilizesenergypsychotherapymethods.

Travis’sstoryillustratesthewaythememorygeneralizestopasteventsandhowchangecanoccurwhenouremotionsarehealed.Traviswantedtobefreeofanaggingsenseofguilt over not being a better father to his son and daughter. While his children weregrowing up, he had deserted the family for many years because of marital conflict.Eventually Travis reconciled with his wife. But by that time he had missed out on amultitude of family activities, irretrievable birthdays, graduations, and Christmases.Travis hadmade amends and had essentially been forgiven. Yet his unremitting regretandguiltwasinterferingwithhisabilitytoenjoythetimehespentwithhisnowgrown-upchildren.Althoughheshouldhavebeenabletofeelsomelevelofpeace,hewasstilltornbyguilt.

As Travis went through the sequence for guilt, he did not need to focus on eachmemoryforwhichhefeltguilty.Hetunedintooneparticularlytroublingmemoryabout

his son’s high school graduation that provoked strong emotion.When the intensity ofemotionassociatedwith thatmemorydecreased,anothermore recentmemorycame tomind,sohewentthroughtheprocedureagain.Traviswentfromaninitialdistresslevelof8onthe10-pointSUDscaletoa1level(seetheevaluationchartthatfollows),whichheconsidered a success, far exceeding his expectations. The treatment transformed hisability to enjoy the company of his children and grandchildren without the held-backfeelingsoflovethathehadfearedtoexpressbecauseofhisguilt.

FollowingisthelistofemotionsandsymptomsthataretreatablewithESM. Ifyouareunclearaboutwhat is troublingyou,scanningthroughthelistmayhelpyoutoputalabelonwhatyouarefeeling.Onceyouhavereadthroughit,sitquietlyforafewminutesasyoureflectonyourfeelings.Relaxandtakeafewdeepslowbreaths.Asafeelingcomesup,try to give it a name. Keep “trying on” labels until one fits. If, aftertuning in, you are still struggling to pinpoint just what it is that’stroubling you, turn to Chapter 7, which provides a more detaileddiscussion of emotions and symptoms. In situations where similaremotions might cause confusion or where emotions overlap, thisinformationwillhelpyoutodecideonthecorrectESMprotocoltouse.Sometimes it is impossible to call up any level of distress in the

absenceofthestimulusthattypicallyprovokesit,suchasfearofflyingor freeway phobia. Youmayhave towait to administer the treatmentuntilyouareinthepresenceofwhatever(orwhoever)itisthatmakesyouanxious.Moreabouton-siteESMinChapter8.TheprotocolsappearinChapter9.

ESMTARGETSYMPTOMSANDEMOTIONS

AddictiveUrges:(page153).Anger:(page154).AnticipatoryAnxiety:(page155).Anxiety(GeneralizedorFreeFloating):(page156).Awkwardness:(page183).Bitterness:(page154).ChronicPain:(page171).

Clumsiness:SeeFive-StepBreathing(page183).ComprehensiveSequence—ifallelsefails:(page157).CompulsiveUrges:(page153).Despair:(page162).Disappointment:(page161).Disgust:(page158).Embarrassment:(page159).Envy:(page165).Fatigue:(page160).Fear:(page173).Frustration:(page161).Grief:(page162).Guilt:(page163).Habits:(page153).Headache(Tension):(page171).Heartache:(page171).Hiccups:(page164).Hopelessness:(page162).HurtFeelings:(page178).Impatience:(page161).Irritability:(page156).Jealousy:(page165).JetLag:(page166).Loneliness:(page167).LovePain:(page168).NasalCongestion:(page169).Negativity:SeeBalancedBreathing(page58)andPolarityReversals(page61).ObsessionalThinking:(page170).Pain:(page171).

Phobias,General:(page173).Phobias(Spiders,Claustrophobia,AirTurbulence):(page172).PMSSymptoms:(page174).Procrastination:(page175).Rage:(page176).Regret:(page177).Rejection:(page178).Remorse:(page163).Resentment:(page154).Revulsion:(page158).Sadness:(page162).Shame:(page179).Sorrow:(page162).Stress(Generalized):(page156).Tiredness:(page160).Trauma(Emotional):(page180).Worry:(page155).

TheSUDScale:RatingtheIntensityofYourEmotions

Namingyouremotionstellsyouwhatyoufeel.TheSUDscaletellsyouhowmuchyoufeel.Inthe1950spsychiatristJosephWolpedevelopedascaletohelppatientsratetheirdiscomfortordistressinincrementsof0to 100.This measure, known as the Subjective Units of DisturbanceScale, or SUDS, has become a standard means of self-evaluatingindividual experience. We use a simplified version of the scale, withincrementsof0to10.Consideringthatwhatbringspeopletoseekoutmental or physical help is their subjective experience of distress, itmakes sense to give their personal report a voice in evaluatingimprovements or change. Diagnosis of physical problems frequentlyrelies on patients’ own reports of how they are feeling. Often an

examining physician will ask, “Does this hurt?” Or, “Is it a burningsensationordoesitfeellikeasharppain?”TheSUDscaleisusedinESMprocedurestomonitorthechangethat

occurs during the course of the process. At the beginning of theprocedure youwill rate your level of distress on the SUD scale whilethinkingabouttheproblemyouareworkingwith.Youwillwritedownthe number, from a 10 (the highest imaginable disturbance) to a zero(indicatingneutrality,oranabsenceofanydisturbance).Bytuningintoyourdiscomfort,youwillbecomemoreawareof the

effect of your emotions on yourmind and body. Your symptomsmayincludementalobsession,agitation,orfogginess.Theremaybephysicaltensionorpaininacertainareaofthebody.Takeintoconsiderationalldimensionsofyourdistresswhenyourateyourlevelofdistress.The changing distress level is your personal measure of treatment

effects. At several points during the course of the treatment, you willreevaluatetheleveltomonitoryourprogress,tomeasurethechangesinemotionalintensity,andtoseewhetheradditionaltreatmentisneeded.Theperiodictuningintothe0to10measurementsinESMalsoservestokeep your thoughts focused on the target emotion or problem. Aftertuning in to thedistress tomeasure it,youwillnaturallyrecallpartofthatthoughtasyouapplytheESMtechniques.Itisvirtuallyimpossibletorateyourdistressaboutaspecificproblemandnotbethinkingaboutit.The following chart describes each level of distress on the 10-point

scale.Inaclinical setting,weusually say toourclients, “If10 is themost

intense distress you can imagine, and0 is the absence of anydistress,wherewouldyourateyourdistressonthisscale?”Wefindthatpeopleareremarkablyaccurateintheirjudgments,whichweverifybymanualmuscle testing.Ofcourse, somepeople insist that theirdistress level ismore like 12 or 20. It doesn’tmatter; begin atwhatever distress levelyouareexperiencing.You’reonyourownhere, so tune incarefully towhatyouarefeeling.Somepeoplehaveatendencytoexaggerateatthehigherandlowerendsofthescale.

SubjectiveUnitsofDistressScale

SubjectiveUnitsofDistressScale

0Theabsenceofanydistress.Feelingcalmandtotallyrelaxed.1NeutralfeelingorjustOK,notasrelaxedascouldbe.2Amildirritation.Firstawarenessoftensionorvaguestress.3Increaseddiscomfort,unpleasant,butincontrol.4Noticeablediscomfortordistress,perhapsagitation,buttolerable.5Discomfortisveryuncomfortable,butIcanstandit.6Discomfortworsensandaffectsmylife.7Discomfortissevereandemotionalpaininterfereswithlife.8Discomfortincreasesanditisinmythoughtsconstantly.9Discomfortisnearlyintolerable.10Discomfortisextremeandtheworstimaginable.Ifeelpanickyandoverwhelmed.

They either overstate their feelings or pretend that they don’t havethem. The ability to know what you are feeling is an important self-awarenessskillthatimproveswithpractice.

SortingItAllOut

Figuring out just what we are feeling can be tricky, because severalissuesmaybeactiveinourlivesatonce.Whenwetrytotunein,allwegetisajumbledconfusionofemotionsdifficulttosortandlabel.Angermaycoverupthehurtofrejection,whichinturnmaymasksadnessandgrief.Angeratafriendmayturnintoangeraboutthewayyourparentshurtyou.InthecourseofanESMtreatment,treatingoneproblemmayallowanothertosurface.How can you tell if there are other problems underneath the oneyou’reworkingon?Whattypicallyhappensisthat,asyoumovethroughthestepsoftheprotocol,youinitiallyseeareductionintheSUDSlevelbutthenseemtogetstuckandareunabletoreduceitanyfurther.Ifyoutune in to your thoughts again, often you will discover that anotheremotion,or anotheraspectof the sameemotion,has surfaced, causing

reneweddistress.

MultipleAspectsofanEmotion

Sortingoutfeelingscanbecomplicated.Asingleproblemmayhavetwoor more aspects. For example, a person may feel guilty about hisbehaviortowardafamilymember.Perhapsherefusedtodoafavorforaparent or sibling and feels guilty for days or longer. In addition, hemight be involved in a longer-term pattern of guilt in relation to hisfamily.WhatmayhappenisthatwhenheusesESMmethodstotreathismost recent, situationalguilt,hemay find thathis levelofdistresshasdecreased but not gone away completely. Now he can focus oneliminating his guilty feelings related to earlier experiences with hisfamily.Eachexperienceregardingguiltthatherecallsandthinksaboutrepresents a different aspect of the original problem. After he goesthrough the ESM sequence for eliminating several instances of guilt,focusingoneachofthesememories,thepositiveeffectsofthetreatmentwillgeneralizetoallsimilarexperiences.

LayeredProblems:It’sJustOneThingonTopofAnother

Layeredproblemscomeinmanyconfigurations.Thebestwaytoproceedinthesecases is to identifyasbestyoucanwhichemotion is themostintense and beginwith the sequence for that emotion. As you resolveone layer of the problem and notice new intensity or distress, tune inagaintowhatyouarefeeling.Attempttoexamineitsnatureandseeifthethemehaschanged;seeifyoucanlabelthenewfeeling.Here’s an analogy. Say you have a strained back from liftingsomething heavy; it becomes the focus of your distress. However,imaginethatwhileyourbackisstillachingyoudevelopanabscessinatooth.Nowthetoothmaybecapturingthemajorityofyourattention.Asyouroundthecorneronthewaytothekitchentofixawarmsaltwaterrinsetosoothetheinfectioninyourmouth,youstubyourtoeonachair.Suddenlyyourattentionisrivetedbytheacutepaininyourtoe.Asyouputiceonthetoeyoubegintofeelthetoothacheagain,andsoon.A more common possibility is that the layering has to do with

differentemotionspiledoneon topof theother.This createsa sortofperceptual masking, where one emotional distress screens out theawarenessofanother.Whenthemostdistressingemotioniseliminated,then another layer of the emotional distress may be revealed. In thissituation thenatureof the targetemotionmaychange.Forexample,awomangetsangryatsomeonewhohasinsultedher.Shetreatstheangryfeelings and reduces her distress somewhat. But some level of distressstill remains.Now she realizes that she feels embarrassedand that theangerwascoveringupherembarrassment.

Melindawasstrugglingtofinishgraduateschoolwhileraisingthreechildrenanddealingwithahusbandwhohaddifficultyholdinga job.Melindafelt likeshewasholding thewholefamily together.Herstressmountedas thebillswentunpaidandturn-offnoticesarrivedfortheutilities,dueinparttoherhusband’sunreliableworkhistory.Asherusualcopingskillsbecameoverwhelmed,Melindafoundherselfyellingatthechildren,findingfaultandpunishing themfor the least little infractions.Sheneverhit themandalwaysapologizedprofuselyforheroutbursts,butherguiltwaslikeaboaconstrictoraroundherneckandshoulders,stranglingherabilitytorelaxandrenewherenergy.Sobadlydidshefeelaboutherselfforbeingunreasonablewiththechildrenandtakingoutherfrustrationonthemthatinherownwords,she“didn’tdeservetoenjoylife.”

YouprobablycanseethatMelinda’sissuesaremultifaceted.Certainlyshefeltguilty,butalsotherewasdisappointment,frustration,andangeratherhusband.Thelayersofemotional “static”werehard to sortout.Whenher guilt overherbehavior towardherchildren was resolved,Melinda realized how angry she was with her husband for hisinabilitytobeastableandresponsiblebreadwinner.Sheunderstood,intellectually,thatshecouldnotchangehim,butemotionallyshewasdisappointedwithhiminabigway.Herangerandthendisappointmentwerehernexttargets.

When Melinda’s anger with her husband dissipated, resentment, another aspect ofanger,surfaced.Thistimeitwasalsodirectedtowardherparents,fornothelpingheroutwhen she and her husband nearly lost their home to foreclosure the year before. Herhusband’s parents had been the “white knights” who saved the day, while her ownparentshad remainedon the sidelines, even though theyhad the financial resources tohelp out. She discovered that her resentment toward her parents had aggravated herfeelingsatherhusband,forhavingparentswhodidhelp.Becausehisparentshadcometotherescue,shefeltasifshewerenotentitledtoholdhimaccountable.Emotionscanbecome a vicious circlewhen they aren’t flushed out; they can back up like a cloggedsewer.

Inworkingwithlayeredproblems,itisimportanttoidentifytheissuesanddecidejustwhatyouwanttotreat.Eitheryoucanworkonaverynarrowaspectofaproblem,ignoringthemoregeneralemotion,oryoucanworkonthewholeproblem.Forexample,youcouldworkonyourfeelingsofrejectionorjustonyourrejectionaboutaparticularincident.Theeffectdoesgeneralize to someextentwhenaprocedure is appliedsuccessive times to different aspects of a similar problem. But it isimportant to be clear about just what it is that you want to include.Whatyoucan’tdoistreatdifferentemotionsallatonce—anger,regret,andguilt.EachemotionrespondstoaparticularTapSequence,andeachhasitsownthoughtenergyfield.Youhavetotreattheemerginglayersoneatatime.

Kathy’s story illustrates another manifestation of layered problems: the way thatworryingaboutoneproblemcandivertusfromfacingmoredifficultissues.Kathycameintobetreatedforheranxietyabouttakingonabusinessproject.Thisisusuallyaverysimpleproblemto treat.But in thecourseofourconversation,sherelated thathersonhaddied inacaraccident less thansixmonthsearlierat theageofnineteen,andshealsorevealedthatshewas inacomplexandrockysituationinherrelationship.Soshewasdealingwithalotofemotionalissues.

Initiallyweworkedwiththeprojectanxietyandgotsomemeasureofrelief.Kathysaidshefeltbetter.Butobviouslytherewereotherthingsgoingonforherthatshewasn’tquitepreparedtodealwith.Inthemidstofthis,asKathystartedtofeelmorerelaxedaboutthenewproject,therelationshipissuegotstirredupasherlive-inboyfriendwaspreparingtomoveout.Shecameinagain,extraordinarilydistressed.Sowedealtwithsomeoftherelationshipproblemstohelpherfeelcalmer.Thatworked,butatthesametimeshewasexperiencingpervasive sadnessandgriefover the lossofher son.Wedida littlebitofworkon that,butwhatshesaid,whichmadesense,was that shedidn’t feelOKabouteliminatingthatstress,becauseitwouldn’tberespectfultoherson.Sowedidn’taddresshergriefdirectly,becauseitwasn’toutofproportion,anditwasn’tincapacitating.Haditbeenextreme,orhaditpersistedfortoolong,shemighthavechosentotrytoreduceitfurther.Thepointisthatwemaynotalwaystrytoeliminatealltheemotionaldistress,because it isn’t always appropriate. It wouldn’t be respectful of the person’s ability torespondnaturally.

Chapter8goes intomoredetail abouthow towork through layeredemotions as they surface during the ESM protocols. You may find it

helpful tomakenoteofyouremotionsand their intensity levelasyoubecomeawareofthem.Chapter12offersguidelinesforkeepingalogofyour progress, as part of an ongoing program of emotional self-management.

NowandThen:TreatingIssuesofthe

Past,Present,andFutureOftenjustoneESMtreatmentsolvesalong-standingproblemforever.

Administertheprotocol,zapthedistress,andit’sgone.Otherproblemsmay need to be retreated periodically. It seems to depend onwhetherthe emotion you are treating is related to experiences in the past, thepresent,orthefuture.Surprisingly, profound wounds and long-standing problems are

sometimestheeasiesttocorrect.Bythiswemeanphobias,likeJoleen’sfearofflyinginChapter1,andthedeep-rootedaftereffectsoftraumaticeventsorpatterns,suchasabuse,atornadooraseriousautoaccident.Perhaps because these devastating problems have caused such severedisturbanceinthebody’senergysystem,theactofsuddenlyuncloggingtheblockagehasacatharticeffect.Certainconditionsrelatedtopresentandongoingcircumstancesmay

require ongoing retreatment. This category includes habitual orcompulsive behaviors. Addictive urges are fraught with reversals thatneedperiodiccorrecting.Frequentlythesubstanceitself—thechocolateor cigarettes—is a causal agent for the reversals, acting like a toxin inthe system. The very substance that is being overconsumed is whatpreventsthepersonfrombreakingthecycle.Asthetreatmentsequencestakeeffect,thepersonhasfarlesscontactwiththesubstance.Itbecomesamoremarginalpartof theperson’s life, its influencediminishes, andtheneedtocorrectthereversalslessens.Thecravingsdiminish,andeachtreatmentlastslonger.Habits seem to require monitoring and procedure readministration,

because the temptation is ever present. But ESM gives new hope topeoplewhoseliveshavebeenoutofcontrolwithcompulsions.Theself-empowermentaspectispowerfulintheseinstances.Whenpeoplenotice

that their discomfort reaches a certain threshold, they can excusethemselvesforafewminutestoadministerthetreatment,andtakecareofitforthedayortheweek.Theabilitytochangeoldpatternsbringsasenseofmasteryoverurgesthatseemedunmanageablebefore.Thetoolstotakecareoftheircravingsarealwaysattheirfingertips.Cases where there’s an ongoing provocation also may have to be

retreated.Thismightbeacriticalsupervisoratwork,a landlordwho’sharassingyou,aprotractedbattlewiththeIRS,asullenteenager(inthiscase it may help to share ESMwith the teen). ESM can handle thesechronicstressorsverywell,andastimepasses,theyhavelesspowertodisturbus.Sometimes we get rid of a troubling feeling but changing

circumstances bring that feeling back into our life, and we need toretreatit.Forexample,amanmayuseESMtogetoveralong-festeringheartacheaboutsomeoneinhispast.Afterthetreatment,whereoncehewould become upset just thinking about the person, his feelings areneutral.Butifthepersonreintroduceshim-orherselfintotheman’slifein someway—a telephone call, a chancemeeting—those feelingsmaycome rushing back.With a new provocation, or if some aspect of theoriginalwoundhadgoneundetected,theoldwoundmaybereactivated.The solution is to go through the ESM procedure again and eliminateanyresidualdistress.Issues related to the futureoften canbehandled inone session. For

example, many people have tremendous anticipatory anxiety aboutpublicspeaking,ortakingatest,orathleticperformance.Thesefeelingscan be resolved using the protocol for anticipatory anxiety and maynever arise again. One complete treatment may be all that’s needed.With theiranxietyundercontrol, thepersonperformsevenbetter thanexpected.Now theperson is comfortable—as long as the context staysthesame.Ifanewtypeofsituationcomesup—sayspeakinginfrontofthreehundredpeople insteadof fifteen—someanxiety could recur. Inall likelihood, however, it would be far milder than what wasexperienced before. If needed, the sequence can be readministered asoften as necessary, and the problem will be gone once again. TheOptimizerProtocolforenhancingperformanceandproductivityisoftenhelpfulforsuchissues.SeeChapter11.

Asyou can see, sortingout feelings canbe trickybusiness. If you’reclearaboutwhat’sbotheringyou,you’re ready tomoveon to learningtheprotocolprocedureinChapter8.Ifyou’restillhavingtroublesortingit all out, the more detailed discussion of emotions in Chapter 7 willhelp.

I

SEVEN

What,Exactly,AreyouFeelin??

f, after reading Chapter 6, you are pretty sure you know whichtreatmentprotocoltoturnto,youcanproceeddirectlytoChapter8.

However,youmaystillbehavingahardtimefiguringoutexactlywhatisbotheringyou,eventhoughyouarealltooawareofthestressfulanduncomfortable feelings that dampen your enjoyment of life. Can youdistinguish between feeling anxious or just tired?Do you know if youare angry? Is your anger veering toward rage? Is it about jealousy, orfailure?Doyoufeelashamed,orguilty,aboutthewayyoutreatedyourex-husbandorex-wife?Remember, there are no wrong emotions, only inappropriate

emotions,orlevelsofemotionthatareirrationalandthatinterferewithnormal thinking and functioning. There is a common factor in all ofthese symptomsandemotions: stress.Allarephysiologically,mentally,andemotionally taxing.WitheachproblemthatweaddressusingESMourstress leveldrops,andwereducethewearandtearonthesystem.Thefollowingdiscussionofemotionsandsymptomswillhelpyouhoneinonwhatyouarefeelingandgiveyoumoredetailedinformationaboutworkingwiththetreatmentprotocols.

Note:Termsinboldareprotocoldesignations.Termsinbolditalicarecross-referencedtothemainprotocols.

AddictiveorCompulsiveUrges

Addictiveor compulsive urgesare pervasive in our culture, a notsurprising attempt to manage the stress of our complicated and busylives.Thecompulsionmaybeforasubstance—food,tobacco,alcohol,or

drugs. Perhaps we turn to gambling, shopping, or sex to assuage ouranxiety.Anything to escape our discomfort, to distract us from ourthoughtsand fears, tocalmusdown.Whenwecan’t resist theurge tosmoke or drink or spend, when nothing distracts us from our psychicpain,theurgecanbeconsideredaddictive.Inclinicalterms,addictionreferstoaphysiologicaldependenceonasubstance,usuallyalcoholordrugs.Withaddictioncomesphysiologicaltoleranceforthesubstance,necessitatinganincreaseddosagetoachievethe desired effect. Discontinuing the substance brings on a pattern ofwithdrawal symptoms. Addictions are accompanied by anxiety thatincreasesuntilintakeofthesubstancecalmsitdown.The techniques in this book are not, by themselves, intended toresolve long-standing physiological addictions to such substances asheroin, alcohol, and prescription medications. We want to emphasizethat the treatment of addiction to alcohol or drugs can be complex,becausetheindividualislikelytohaveformedhisorherlifearoundtheaddictive substance.Many of the addict’s activitiesmay center aroundthe drug—their social contacts, placeswhere they typically acquire orusethesubstance,thoughtsaboutbeinghighorintoxicated,orofhowtohide their activity. Successful treatment addresses all aspects ofaddiction. ESM methods offer a powerful tool for controlling oreliminatingtheurgefortheaddictivesubstance.However,thechoicetouse that tool involves many factors that are typically part of acomprehensive treatment plan requiring professional intervention,medically supervised detoxification, clinical treatment, and long-termaftercare.Addictive urges related to food, gambling, excessive spending,cigarettes, andotherbehaviors canbemanagedwith these techniques,providedthatthecompulsionisnotsoseverethatithasimpairedone’sfunctioning.ESMtechniquesarenotasoletreatmentforseriouseatingdisorders.Whenindoubt,itisbesttoerronthesideofcaution.Itwouldbe prudent to seek professional help for any addictive urge that’ssignificantlydisruptingyourlife.Addictive urges that are not life-threatening can be annoying,inconvenient,unsightly,embarrassing,expensive,andunhealthful.Urgesforfood,excessivespending,nailbiting,gambling,andotherhabitscan

be controlled or eliminatedusingESM techniques. Someproblems canbe switched off with one treatment, while others require periodicretreatment and monitoring. For example, nail biting is a habitthat asingle ESM treatment can often stop completely.However, compulsiveeating or spending money usually has to be treated over time. Thetriggers for these behaviors are always present in our lives. We arecontinually faced with decisions about eating and spending. If ourcompulsive urges are food-ormoney-related,wemay need tomonitorourselves carefully and readminister the protocol as needed to keepanxietyandself-sabotagingbehaviorsincheck.ESM treatments work by reducing or eliminating the anxiety thatunderlies addictive urges. Because each treatment reduces the anxietylevel, the urge for the substance or behavior typically lessens rapidly,and the interval between treatments grows, often until the urge iscompletely gone. As the anxiety is replaced by calmness, the urgesdisappearandnew,productivebehaviorscantaketheirplace.Exercise,recreation,hotbaths, socializing, reading, listening to relaxation tapes,music, journaling your feelings, volunteering, taking a class, andactivities that foster personal growth can take the place of compulsiveurges.

Donna knew the location of every bakery in her community and knew exactly whatcalorie-ladenconcoctionswereavailableateachone.Asshedroveaboutinherjobasamanufacturer’srepresentative,shefoundherselfstoppingforpastriesonceorsometimestwice a day. Cupcakes and strudel were Donna’s way of coping with stress. These“comfort foods” provided momentary relief from tension, but had added two dozenpounds to her frame in the last year and a half. She knewwhat good eatingwas allabout,andsheunderstoodtheimportanceofexercise.Theminuteaftereatingacupcakeshe’dbechastisingherselfforherweakness.Whenshecametoseeus,sheknewherurgeswereoutofhercontrol.

Donna’s treatment was not a quick fix. In the early stages of her maintenanceprogram, in addition to the Six-Week Stabilizer program (see Chapter 12), sheadministeredthefullanxietyprotocoldailyinordertocalmherurgestostopforfood.Sometimeswhen she felt an urge coming on, she’d pause to do theRapidRelaxer.Bypayingattentiontohersymptomsandtreatingthemastheyarose,shewassoonchoosinghealthfulfoodstokeeparoundthehouseformealsandsnacks.Thetimecamewhensheonly needed to go through thewhole protocol a couple times aweek, with amorning

tune-upthatincludedBalancedBreathingandtheGlobalPolarityReversal.Asthesenewbehaviorsbecameestablished,Donnafeltcalmerandwasabletorecognizethetriggersofherstress,anecessaryelementofmaintaininglong-termchange.Finallyshewasabletoput in place positive measures: exercise and journal writing to provide an outlet forunexpressedemotions.Thesesteps,overtime,maderoomfornew,healthfulpatternstodevelop.Withinabout twelveweeksDonnawas totallyoff the junkfood,makingwiserchoicesaboutwhat to eat, and resolvingherwork-related stress byworkingoutat thegymmoreregularly.Shewasbackincontrolofherlife.

Anger,Rage,andFrustration

Angercan be a powerful motivator for us to take productive action.Anger at legal injustice, for example, can inspire us to work to bringabout reform. More often our anger is provoked by everydayoccurrences,aswhenwespilladrinkorwhenacarelessdrivercutsusoff on the freeway. Anger may show up in the form of disgustorrevulsion,asimpatience,frustration,orbitterness.Angercausesour face to flush,ourheart to race,and thenostrils to

flare.Themoreintenseitbecomes,thelesscontrolwefeel.Ifangerlastsmore than a few minutes, it can feel very uncomfortable, as if we’rejumpingoutofourskin.Angerandhostilityhavebeenfoundtobethemost negative stressors of the body, particularly the heart andcirculatorysystem.The word “anger” derives from the Latin word angere, meaning “to

strangle.” It is the root forangina, the “choking”of theheart.Holdingonto anger can be damaging to the cardiovascular system. Researchconducted by cardiologistsMeyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman in thelate 1960s and early 1970s identified what they called a Type Apersonality as being prone to cardiovascular disease. Type A behaviorwas associatedwithphysical tension, quick eyemovements, fast-pacedspeaking patterns, firm handshakes, talkativeness, and seeking controlover situations and people. Later research discovered that there werereallyonlytwofeaturesofTypeApersonalitythatpredictedillhealth:high levels of anger and hostility (especially if not released) and aperceived lackofcontroloverone’s lifeorsituations.The twoseemtogohandinhand.

Anger is nearly always directed outward—toward a person, asituation, or an entity such as an institution or a pesky rodent. Angryresponsesareoftenoutofproportiontotheprovocation.Theymayleavethosewhoarethetargetsofourangerdrained,mystified,andangryinreturn.Angercertainlydoesn’tdomuch forourownpeaceofmind. Ithasareboundeffect.Angerdirectedatourselvesoftenturnstoguiltanddepression.Mostofusdidn’t get verygood training inmanagingour anger andfrustration. Anger isn’t considered nice or polite. Many familiesdiscouragechildrenfromdisplayingangeranddenythevalidityoftheirangry feelings.Howmanyofushavebeen toldnot togetupsetaboutsomething,orthatwe“shouldn’t”beangryandhavegrownupchokingbackangry feelings?Asadults,manyofushavesodeeply internalizedthe prohibition about anger that we don’t even recognize our angryfeelings;we’redepressedoranxiousinstead.Othersseemunabletokeepareinontheirangryfeelings;theirangerseepsoutintoeverynookandcrannyoftheirlives.Frustrationis a less intense version of anger, a kind of simmeringirritationwiththewaythingsaregoing—ornotgoing.Wefeelfrustratedwhenoureffortshavebeenthwartedorundone,whenwewantthingstomove faster,whenwe feelwe’renotbeingheard, andwhenwe’renotabletogetwhatwewant.Elementsofimpatience,disappointment,andrejectionmay lurk behind frustration. Frustrationmay bring the samephysicalsymptomsasanger,buttoalesserdegree.Impatienceisa feelingof restlessness,aneagerness tomove forward.The ode to impatience goes, “If there’s time enough to fix it or do itover,thenthere’stimetodoitrightthefirsttime.”Delaysannoyustothe point where we feel like screaming. We grumble and pace whenthings—or people—are moving too slowly. The first question to askyourselfinthesecircumstancesiswhetheryoufeelimpatientandcannotwaitforotherstokeepup,orifyouhurryyourselftothepointthatyourmistakesaredelayingyoumorethanifyou’djusttakenyourtimeinthefirstplace.Thenearlyobsessionalqualityofimpatienceisatip-offthatanxietyis part of it. You will notice that the Tap Sequence forimpatiencecontainselementsofthesequenceforanxiety.Asangerincreasesinintensityitmovestowardrage,whichtakesaway

our ability to think clearly or rationally. Rage takes us to that placewherewehavenoperspective, no control, a furious place of dark redvisionwhereweareblindedtoreasonandpronetoviolence.Anger,rage,andfrustrationoftencanberemediedthroughtheactof

forgiveness.Ofcourse,forgivenessisusuallythelastthingonourmindswhenwe are angry, and it is unimaginablewhenwe are enraged.Butforgivenessbenefitsnotothersbutourselves.Wedonotforgetwhatwasdonetous,butweletgoofourangerforourownwell-being.Whetherwe silently and inwardly forgive people or vocally and outwardlyexpressourforgiveness,wearethebenefactorsofthisactoflettinggo.Forgiveness can dissolve anger. Because many times letting go isessential to healing these emotions, these ESM protocols includeIntentionStatementsofforgivenessorrelease.

Phobias,Fears,GeneralizedStress,andAnxiety

Phobias,fears, and anxietiesshare a common bond:They are allemotional responses to future uncertainty.With the uncertainty comesthe dreaded possibility of negative, painful, or otherwise awfuloutcomes.Inouragitation,wecreateafantasycatastrophe.Justasguilt,embarrassment, andgrief are emotionsof thepast, fears, phobias, andanxietiesaregenerallyrelatedtothefuture.It is important to recognize that fear can be a productive emotional

responsethathelpskeepussafe.Ahealthyfearofheightskeepsussafefromriskybehavior thatmight leadto falls.Warinessaboutunfamiliarorstrangesurroundingsmakesuscautiousandheightensourvigilance.Fearcausescertainmusclestocontract,whichcanrestricttheabilitytobreathefreely.Thetightnessinthechestdirectsourattentionandoftencauses an involuntary drawing in, or holding, of the breath.Paradoxically,fearsometimescausesparalysisattheverymomentwhenwewanttoflee.Moreoften,however,thosemusclecontractionsserveasa powerful stimulant that allows us to respond with extraordinarystrengthandkeennessofsenses. It iswithgoodreasonthatwerespecttheferocityofacorneredandfrightenedanimal,regardlessofsize.Thefight-or-flight response creates a rush of adrenaline into our bloodsystem,spurringuseithertodobattleortorunforourlives.

Fearsandphobiasexistatdifferent levelsalongthesamecontinuumofemotionalreaction.Whilepeoplemayusethetermsinterchangeably,inthisbookweuse“fear”todescribealessintensereaction.Also,fearsoften have a realistic component. The feared situation or object—ferociousdogsorbeingmuggedonthestreetorviolentthunderstorms—isoftenarealpresenceintheperson’slife.Phobias,ontheotherhand,are extreme and uncontrollable reactions, sometimes due to a pasttrauma, which frequently lead to an avoidance of any possibility offacing the feared situation, often at life-limiting cost. But the hiddenmessageoffearis:FaceEverythingandRecover.

Five-year-oldJasondevelopeda fearofdogsafterhewas startledand frightenedbyalarge and threateningDobermanpinscher in his neighborhood.Hewasn’t scared of alldogs, for he was still able to play and be around small dogs rather comfortably, butwheneveralargerdogwasaround,nomatterhowtameorquiet,heclungtohisparentsoranyadultpresent, shakingandcrying.Afterhisparentsapplied theESMtreatment,Jasonwasabletopetlarge(andtame)dogsagain.

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Lucindawasterrifiedofsnakes,althoughnothinginherpastseemedtobethecauseofherfright.Itwasn’tjustsqueamish-ness.Shewasnotjustdisgustedbythemorwentoutofherwaytoavoidthem.Snakesterrifiedher,tothepointwhereshedeclinedinvitationstogohikingandcamping,alwaysproviding someotherexplanation forheravoidance.ThemerephotographofasnakewouldcauseLucindatoshudderandlookaway;justtheword“snake”sentshiversdownherspine.ButafterLucindausedtheprotocolforspecificfearsandphobias, shewasable togo toapet storeand then to the localzoo’s reptileexhibit. Of course she was also able to enjoy outdoor activities with comfort andenthusiasm.

Jasonhadafearofdogs,broughtonbyanunpleasantandscaryevent.Lucinda had a phobic reaction to snakes, way out of proportion to thethreat,apparentlyunconnectedtoanypastexperience.Fearsandmanyphobiasaretreatedwiththesamesequence.Forafewphobias(spiders,claustrophobia, and air turbulence), there is a slight variation in thesequence. It isn’t always clear why certain Tap Sequences work forspecific symptom patterns;we only go by the evidence of our clinicalexperience.

Fear often shows itself asanxiety.Some anxiety is a normal part ofbeinghuman.Infact,amoderateamountofexcitementcanenhancetheperformanceofmanytasks.However,whentheanxiety interfereswithenjoying life or activities, it’s time for it to go. Anxiety is oftenspecifically connected to an upcoming event, such as a speech, anathletic contest, or an exam. This is anticipatory anxiety.But manytimes anxiety and apprehension are free-floating, a generalizedworryandapprehensionthatstalkusandsapourenergy.Wegothroughourdayswithanunsettledstomach,withperhapsaskippingheartbeatandacatchinthethroat.Wehavetroublefocusing,andlittleisgettingaccomplished.Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something todo,butitdoesn’tgetyouveryfar.Wemayhaveonlyavaguenotionofwhat theproblemis,wethink it’s just life.Butworry isamaladaptivewayofrespondingtofearswecannotidentifytoanticipatednightmareswedonotevenacknowledge.Wherecuesorsymbolsofthetargetobjector situation activate fears or phobias, anxiety can develop and persistevenintheabsenceofconsciousthoughtaboutanyfearedobject.

Withanticipatoryanxiety,theunderlyingworryisoftenaboutbeingovercomewithfearatthewrongtime.PartofRobin’sdutiesasthedepartmentheadatalargeclinicincludedconductingamonthlymeetingof thephysicians,administrators,andstaff inhergroup.Ordinarily,Robin’spresentations gowell. She feelsanxiousandworried fornearly theentiremonth,butonceshebeginsherpresentation,shemostlyforgetsaboutheranxietyanddoesafinejob.Noonebutherclosestcolleaguesknowhowdistressedshebecomes.

ButthesemeetingswereatremendousdrainonRobin’senergy.Shewouldbegintofretabout the next month’s presentation within hours after the one she’d just finished.Anticipating thenextmeetingwouldbringonawfulandunmanageablediscomfort.Theweeksofanticipatoryanxietywerelikeavise,tighteningandsqueezingafewturnswitheachpassingday.Robincouldn’tseemtoshaketheanxiety,nomatterhowmuchshetoldherselfthatthemeetingswerealwayssuccessful.UsuallyRobinstayedfocusedonkeepingherself distracted from her worry and anxiety; that distraction often took the form ofmassiveover-preparationforthemeetingandheroften-briefpresentations.Tobefreeofthatfeelingwouldfeellikeamiracle,shethought.

After using the Emotional Self-Management process, Robin was able to shift herattentiontoothermattersatwork.Infact,theshiftinherawarenesshadsomuchimpactthatshewasabletosignificantlyscalebackherpreparationforthenextpresentation.Afewweekslatershereportedthatnotonlyhadheranxietynotreturned,herstresslevel

had gone way down now that she was working less intensively on preparing for themeetings.Thisallowedmore time for someother tasks thathadrequiredherattention,such as team-building activities she had neglected and even expanding her after-worksociallife.Shefeltmoreproductivethanbefore,withfarlesseffort.Shewasabletoenjoylifeagain.

Anxieties sometimes can be provoked again after a successfultreatment, because of some new aspect that triggers a new target foranxiety.InRobin’scase,itmightariseifshewaspromotedandthenhadtoleadmeetingsforaboardofdirectors.Othertimesanxietymayreturndue to polarity reversals as negative thoughts creep back in. In somecases,merelycorrectingthepolarityreversalsonadailybasiswillallowthetreatmentto“hold.”Othertimesyoumayneedtoreapplytheentiresequence.Anxietiesrelatedtothefuturearemorelikelytoreturn,whileemotions related to the past may require only one treatment forcomplete and lasting relief. In Chapter 8 you will see that there areseparateprotocolsforgeneralizedandanticipatoryanxiety.

Embarrassment,Shame,andGuilt

Whilefearsandanxietyareusuallyrelatedtothefuture,otheremotionshavetheirrootsinthepast.Onegroupofpast-relatedemotionsincludesembarrassment,shame,andguilt.Feelings of embarrassmentusually stem from doing something thatmakes us feel foolish, like tripping and falling aswe get up to speak,spillingwineonourdinnercompanion,or forgetting tozipour flyWemayfeelembarrassedifwegetcaughtdoingsomethingwedidn’twantothers to seeor something thatweusuallydo inprivate—attending toitches in private places, passing gas, or using profanity. Manyembarrassing incidents fall into the category of social faux pas.Embarrassmentexposesus.Embarrassmentalsocanbeindirect.Awomancanbeembarrassedbyherhusband’scrudejokesatasocialevent.Amancanbeembarrassedby his spouse’s veiled allusions to his sexual problem. Feelings ofembarrassment are usuallymomentary and transient, forgotten by thenext day. Yet our embarrassment may linger, casting a shadow over

future encounters with people whom we believe are aware of theembarrassingcircumstances.Embarrassment isdistinct fromshame.Whereembarrassmentusually

is associated with some specific behavior or action, shame stains thepersonallover.Tofeelashamedistofeelthatyouaretheobjectoferrorormistake.Powerful feelingsofshamecan infectpeople’s fundamentalbeliefsaboutthemselves.Embarrassmentpasses;shameendures.There is no clear demarcation between chronic or repeated

embarrassment and shame. Embarrassment that becomes chronic andpervadesseveralareasoflifecanleadtofeelingashamed.Theyoungerwearewhen these sorts of feelingsbegin, and the longer theypersist,themorelikelytheyaretotakerootasaningrainedpatternofshame.Young people ridiculed by others for being different, for lookingdifferent,orfordoingthingsincorrectlymaygrowupashamedofwhothey are and the way they act. Comments by parents, teachers, orclassmates that they are “stupid” or “clumsy” can become a globalcondemnation.Whileshamecandevelopfromchildhoodandhoverconstantlyinthe

background, it also can develop later as a result of adult trespasses.Shamealsostemsfrombreakingasocietaltaboo.Therearesituationsinwhichadultsdosomethingthatissodeeplyandprofoundlyagainstthemoral, legal, ethical, or religious code of their community that theysuffershame.Peoplewhobecomeaddictedtoalcoholordrugsoftendealwith feelings of shame as they are recovering and recognize theconsequencesof theirpast conduct.Peoplewhocommitadulteryoftenfeel ashamed of their deceit and of their betrayals of trust. There aredifferenttreatmentsequencesforembarrassmentandshame.Guiltbears a resemblance to shame and embarrassment. Guilt arises

froma feelingof remorseregardingbehavior. It ismore theproductofour own self-judgment than of others (although othersmay go out oftheirwaytomakeusfeelit).Whereasembarrassmentoftenistheresultofinadvertentactionsthatarenotusuallyhurtfultoanyoneelse,guiltisnearly always related to culpability. It implies that at least someonebelievesyoupurposefullydid somethingwrong (orwouldbelieve so iftheyknew).Guilt,becauseitassumesanoffense, is thehandmaidentoconscience.Guiltoccursonlyinthepresenceofsomesenseofconscience

or inner strugglewithwhat’s right andwrong. Intention statements offorgivenessarepartoftheprotocolforguilt.Guilt rears its head when we violate the expectations we have for

ourselves.Whenwebehaveinawaythatisinconsistentwithourstatedintentionsandmoralcode,wecanfeelguilty.Formanyofus,feelingsofguilt were instilled early in life. Guilt is a powerful socializing tactic,usedbymostparents,andsocietyingeneral,tohelpshapeandcontrolourbehavior.Appliedtooliberally,itcancorrodeoursenseofself-worthandcastashadowoveroureverymove.Guiltoftenisfeltinthegutandstomach;bowelproblemsmaybeinvolvediftheemotionischronic.

Wecanbesotornbyguiltthatitkeepsusfromrepairingthedamagethatbroughtontheguilt inthefirstplace.Philhadbeenmarriedfortwenty-fiveyears,withatwenty-four-year-old grown son, when he left his wife and soon after began a relationship with awomaninhisoffice.HiswifewasdevastatedyetleftthedooropenshouldPhil“cometohissenses.”

Aboutsixmonthsintothenewrelationship,Philrealizedhewasnotinlovewiththisnewwoman. In fact, now that they could spend time together, hewasn’t enjoying therelationshipashethoughthewould.Philspentanothersixmonthsdatingotherwomen,hoping to find what he felt wasmissing in his life. But the intellectual stimulation hethoughtheneededandwouldfindinanotherwomannevermaterialized.Throughoutthisperiodheremainedincontactwithhis“soon-to-beex-wife.”Astimepassed,Philcametomisshiswifeandmissedthethingstheydidhaveincommon.Hecametotherealizationthatforallhisdissatisfactionwithhismarriage,thealternativeswerenobetter.

Althoughhiswifehadnotgivenuphope, shewasunderstandablycautious.Philhadnotstrictlycheatedonher,havingbegunhisaffaironlyaftermovingoutof thehouse,buthehadviolatedhertrust.Hiswifehadsufferedaprofoundbetrayal.Shewasdeeplyhurtwhenhe announced that hewas leaving so suddenly, adamant that therewas noroomfordiscussion.

ButthisstoryisaboutPhil.Hisguiltforhavinghurthiswifewascausingdifficultyinreconcilingandworking torebuildarelationshipwithher. Interestingly, shedidnotdomuchtofosterhisguiltyfeelings.Quitetheopposite;shewaswillingtoforgive.ShewaskeepingthepaceslowwithPhil,however,notallowinghimbackintoherlifeinarushasifnothinghadhappened.

Phil’s strugglewasmainlywithin.Thepowerful feelingsof guiltkepthim frombeingspontaneous.Theykepthimfocusedonthepastandpreventedhimfromthinkingabout

his wife without pity and remorse. In seeking help, he recognized the importance ofresolvinghisguiltsothathecouldengageinreconstructinghismarriage.Philwasnotabad person; he had made a big mistake. Certainly he had learned a lesson from hisbehavior.Nowhisguiltwasno longerproductiveandwas interferingwithhisdesire toreestablishabondofintimacywithhiswife.He’dlearnedhislesson;itwastimefortheguilttogo.

Whenwefirstassessedhis levelofguilt,Philreporteditwasaboutan8ontheSUDscale.Heopenlyadmitted thathe felt terribleandwaspainedwheneverhe looked intohiswife’seyesandknewtheanguishhehadcausedher.Althoughshehadforgivenhim,he had not forgiven himself It was not surprising that when I tested Phil for polarityreversals, he had several, and one of them was on the theme of “Deserving.” Aftercorrectingforallreversals,weappliedtheprocedureforguilt.Guiltwastheappropriatesequence,becausePhil’sguiltwaslocalizedtoawell-definedsetofcircumstanceswithhiswife. Had there beenmany affairs,many betrayals, or other complicating factors, wemight have elected to use the sequence for emotional trauma, which includes the taptreatmentpointsforguilt.

AsPhil tapped the IndexFingernail location in the treatment sequence,hemade theaffirmation, “I forgive myself, I did not know then what I know now,” three times.Afterward,hereportedthathefeltasenseofreliefashespokethosewordsonthesecondroundoftheTapSequence.Aftercompletingtheentireprocedure,hereassessedhisSUDSasa2withregardtohisguilt.

IaskedPhiltoreflectforamoment,toseeiftherewereanyotheraspectsthathewasnowawareofwiththisproblem.Closinghiseyesandtuninginagain,hesaidyes,hewasfeelingsadaboutallthepainhehadcausedhiswifeandtheirson,who,likeawoundedsoldierinthebackground,hadsaidlittletohisfatherabouttheseparation.Feelingsnotexpressedinwordswerevisibletohiminhisson’sfaceateachvisit.WenextfocusedonPhil’s sadness, which he estimated was a 6 on the 10-point scale, and applied theprocedureforsadness.

Aswithall the protocols,weagainappliedpolarity reversal corrections for thisnewemotional layer, with sadness as “the problem” in the corrective statement. As weprogressed through the tapping sequence, the change was immediately apparent. Phil’sfacesoftened;thehardlinesinhisforeheadsmoothedout.Attheendoftheprocedure,afterthefinalEyeRoll,Philsaidhisdistresswasonlya1.WhenIaskedhimifhewantedtoeliminateeventhatsmallamountofdisturbance,hesaid,“No,IthinkIwanttokeepjustalittleofthisfeelingtoremindmeofhowbaditcanfeel.Idon’twanttoforgetwhatIputeveryonethrough.”IfthatwasOKforPhil,itwasOKwithme.Insomesituationsit

is appropriate for a small amount of emotional distress to remain. It provides positiveincentiveforfurtherlearningorbehavioralchange.

Philkept incontactover thenext fewmonthsandreported thathehadmovedbackintothehouse.Heandhiswifewerebuildinganewrelationshipbasedonwhathehadlearnedabouthimselfand,moreimportant,onwhathenowknewitwouldtaketomakehis relationship work. The unburdening of the guilt and grief were instrumental inallowinghimtobefree toengagewithhiswifeatanemotional levelunencumberedbylimitingandself-damagingemotions.Hecouldnowworkonbuildinganewfoundationfortheirrelationshipandrepairthedifferencesthathadoriginallyledhimtoseparate.

Feelingsofembarrassment,guilt,andshameareoftencloselyrelated.If you have doubts as to which you are feeling, choose the one youbelieve is themost relevant. If that treatment sequencedoesnotwork,youmayneedtotryanother.

Grief,Sadness,andRegret

Grief,sadness,and regretspan a broad spectrum of feelings. In somesituationsalloftheseemotionsarereasonableandnecessaryresponses.Feelingtheheavyhandofgriefafterabigloss isnormal; itprovidesawayofcomingtotermswithdrasticchangesinone’slife.Feelingregretallows us to convey remorse. Ifwe felt no regret ordisappointmentatdoingpoorlyatsometask,wewouldnotbemotivatedtotakeactiontochangeourbehavior.Prolongedsadnessandgrief,however,canleadtodepression.Clinicaldepression,however,isaseriousandoftencomplexcondition that should be assessed and treated by amedical ormentalhealthprofessional.Anythoughtsofharmingyourselfareclearsignalstoseekprofessionalhelpandguidanceimmediately.As with all emotions, the appropriateness of the response is what

concernsus.Therearetimeswhensadnessservesnoproductivepurposeand merely holds us back in some way. Sadness can turn tonegativity,an outlook that colors even positive events, highlightinginstead the deficits and flaws. When negative thinking arises, veryfrequentlycorrectingpolarityreversalswillresolvethesefeelings.Oncethe negative thoughts are cleared away, the target emotions can beresolvedwiththespecifictappingsequences.

Griefarisesfromaloss.Theword“grief”stemsfromthesamerootasgrave, severe; heaviness and sorroware the companions of grief.Profoundgriefusuallyisassociatedwiththelossofalovedonewhowillbedeeplymissed. The grievingprocess honors thememoryof the lostlovedoneandallowstheindividualtoprocessthepainoftheloss.Griefreveals the value of life and makes us aware of the bonds betweenpeople.Wegrieveaswellthelossofajob,agoodfriendmovingawaythe loss of our health or a beloved home or pet. The fatigueandlethargythat often accompany grief reflect the body’s suffering aswellandaffordtimeforreflectionthatcanservesomehowtoincorporatethelossintoone’slife.Grievingisanaturalprocessforhealingpain.Whenwe do not go through the process of grieving a serious loss, we riskbecomingdisorientedanddisconnectedfromlife.Mostexpertshavefoundgrieftofollowafairlypredictablepaththat

hasbeendescribedbyElisabethKübler-Ross,M.D.,ashavingsixstages:denial, anger over the loss, bargaining with God to reverse the loss,depressionandsorrow,acceptance,andeventuallyhopeforthefuture.Thestagesarenotdistinct.Theyfrequentlyoverlap,andapersonmay

movefromonetoanotherandthenbackagain.GeraldKoocher,Ph.D.,chief psychologist and grief expert at Boston’s Children’s Hospital,believes thatapersonmaygrieve for the lossofa lovedone forup totwo years before a noticeable change occurs. The grief may continuenaturally off and on for many years following, but with decreasingintensity.Thereisnothingpathologicalorunhealthyaboutit.However,the process of grieving is also a process of healing. If the process ishaltedorbecomesstuck,healingisnolongertakingplace.Wemightsaythatthegriefhasoutliveditsusefulness.Beyond a certain point, the level and duration of our grief is not a

measureofhowmuchwelovedsomeone.Moreoftenitisameasureofhowmuchthesituationhasdisruptedourenergyandbalance.Griefcanbecometrappedinthesystemwithnowaytoescape,aviciouscircleofpainandunhappiness.Afterareasonableperiodoftime,ifgriefdoesnotshowevidenceoffadinganddiminishing,andifourlivesaresuffering,there can be a value in nudging the process along. As with all ourfeelings, normal andproductive emotional responses are unaffected bytheadministrationsoftheESMprotocol.

Claudia’steenagesonhadbeenkilledinstantly inacaraccidenttwoyearsearlier.HerlifehadcometoastandstillsinceKyle’sdeath.Claudiawasconsumedwithhersenseoflossandmissingherson.Dailyshewould findherself frozen in theactofsomesimpletask,daydreamingaboutKyleforminutesbeforeshecaughtherself.Shecriedoftenandwassensitiveaboutdiscussingwhathappened.“Icouldn’tstandtohearorusewordslike‘Kyle was’ instead of ‘is,’ ” she reported. Claudia was so preoccupied that she wasignoring important decisions that needed to be made about her husband’s offer ofpromotion,whichwouldmeanmovingacross thecountry.Nothing seemed topenetratehercloudofgriefandpreoccupation.Claudiawasstuckinthedenialstageofgriefafterherson’sdeathandcouldnotmoveon.

WhenClaudiaappliedtheformulaforgrief,shesaidshewasfinallyabletoletgoofKyleandtotrulyacknowledgethathewasgone.HerparalyzinggriefoverKyle’sdeathbecameanappropriate levelofsadness.Atthatpointsherealizedhowmuchangershefeltthathersonhadbeentakenatsuchayoungage.ShenextappliedtheTapSequenceforangerandfeltreliefimmediately.Otheraspectsofherangersurfaced,andshetreatedthoseaswell.Thesorrowstayedwithher,butshewasnowabletomoveon.Shewouldhave givenanything tohaveher sonback.Butnow,having facedher loss, shewas insomewaysable torememberKylebetter thanbefore.TherewasmoregrievingClaudianeededtodo,butatleastnowtheprocesswasmoving.Grievingpeopleareoftenangrywith God for their loss, and moving beyond the anger allows them to recover theirspiritualconnection;thatwasthecaseforClaudia.

*

Juliaandherboyfriendhadgrownapartoverthepastyearandhadfinallysplitupsixmonths before she came to our office.Although thiswas not the outcome she’d hopedfor,Juliawasclearthatsheneededtomoveoninher lifetofindsomeonewhowantedmarriage and children. Even so, she couldn’t seem to get past her sadness over theunfulfilleddreamsandexpectationsshehadnurturedduringtheirfour-yearrelationship.Juliawas feeling low,with little interest in going out and having fun and even less inlookingforanotherrelationship.

In a matter of half an hour, as Julia went through the grief protocol, she felt theburdenoflossandgrieflift.Shewasutterlyamazedathowquicklyherheavyheartandlethargyseemedtotransformintoanalmostlightheartedfeeling.Shewasstillawareofher unmet expectations and hopes, but she no longer felt hopeless. “I know he’s notanywherenearasupsetaboutusbreakingupasIhavebeen,”shecommented.“IguessIshouldtakemyfriend’sadviceandshowupatherpartythisweekend.It’sherbirthday

andshethrowsgreatparties.”

Only after shedding the heavy cloak of grief and sadness was Julia able to see hersituation inanew light. Strong, intractable feelings interferewithourability to reasonclearlyandusealltheinformationthatisavailabletous.

Unresolvedgrief,orunrelentingandseeminglyinsolubletroubles,canleadtodespair.Despairisthelossoffaiththatthingswillchange,lossofthe belief that there will be rescue or renewal. Despair goes beyondgrief, intohopelessness.When thecarbatteryhasdrained to thepointwherethelightsbarelyglow,whenthere’snotenoughjuicetostartthecar,whenthehornhaslostitsvoicealthoughtheradiomaywork—thatisdespair.Regretis the if-only feelingaboutevents in thepast. It isour feelingaboutwhatwasn’t said,whatwasn’tdone—whatmighthavebeen.Theold saying that “hindsight is 20/20” does not diminish the feeling ofregretwemayexperienceatanopportunitymissedorforhavingmadewhatnowfeelslikeapoorchoice.Mostofusregretsomethingorotherinourlives—thedatewedid(ordidn’t)kiss;theapologyweshouldhavemade;thetimeandmoneywewastedplaying thehorses.Regret can serve to bring to our awarenesssomething important fromwhichwecan learn. It canhelpus tomakebetterchoices in the future.Butprolongeddwellingonpast failuresordisappointmentsbrings with it a sorrowthat can prevent us fromenjoying the present moment and mobilizing our resources to createpositive changes in our lives. Beyond whatever lessons we can learninitially,feelingsofregretarenotproductive.

LovePain,Heartache,andLoneliness

Love pain and heartache are complex emotions that usually arecompounded of several forms of hurt, includingrejection,disappointment,loneliness,orfearofbeingalone.Sometimesangerand jealousyare mixed in there as well. Heartacheis the waypeopleoftendescribeit,adullandrelentlessache.Somepeopledistractthemselvesfromheartache—theygooutandhaveaflingortwo,eattoomuch,drinktoomuch,exercisetilltheydrop,ortakeatripto

Cancun. For other people the pain pervades every activity andintrudesontheirthinking;there’snoescapingit.Anoldlifeisover,butthere’snointerestorenergytostartanewone.Thepainoflostlovemayebbandflowwithcuesorremindersofthelostlover.Andoftenthepainisgreaterwhentherelationshipbreaksupfor reasons beyond our control. Typically the longer and deeper therelationship,themoreintensethepainandlossandfeelingsofrejection.In other circumstances even a brief but intense romance can trigger aprofound aftershock. Some of this is natural. But prolonged pain andobsessional thinkingare not productive or effective in helping todevelopasatisfyingfuturerelationship.

Paul’s girlfriend dumped him, telling him she just didn’t love him anymore. He wascompletely taken by surprise. They had been dating for nearly a year, and in hisestimation they had a great relationship. Paul had been ignoring the signals that hisrelationshipwasdeteriorating.Devastatedbythebreakup,hetrieddesperatelytocontacthisgirlfriend,surehecouldconvincehertogetbacktogether.Shedidn’tevenreturnhiscalls.He felt disoriented and ruminated constantly aboutwhat had causedher to stoplovinghim.Wassheinsultedbythebirthdaygifthegother?Didhetalktoomuch?Wasshedisappointedwhenhedidn’tgetthatpromotion?Hisquestionswereendless,andhebegantoquestionwhethershehadeverbeeninlovewithhim.

Paul’sconstantbroodingkepthimawakemuchofthenightandkepthimfromworkingeffectivelyinhisjobasanarchitect.Insteadofgettingbetterastimewentby,hebecamemoretormentedbyhisloss.Hefoundhimselfdrivingpastherhome,hopingtocatchsightofherandtalktoher.Afterseveralmonthsofself-torture,herealizedthathisagonywasnot diminishing and his life was suffering. His brother strongly suggested he get help.That’swhenhecametoouroffice.

WhenPaulfirstratedtheintensitylevelofhispainandmisery,heclaimeditwas20ona10-pointscale.Aftercompletingaseriesofsequencesforlovepainandforgriefandanger,allofwhichtooklessthananhour,heratedhispainlevelasa2.Weaskedhimifhewantedtotryoneofthesequencesagaintoseeifhecouldgetridofitcompletely.Hedeclined, saying that the level of 2 felt to himabout right. Sometimes a small level ofdistresscanserveasmotivation.ForPaulitwastheimpetustocrawloutofhiscocoonand,likeJuliamentionedearlier,reenterlife.

Lonelinessis a common spin-off of a broken romance or a failedrelationship. It frequently accompanies the death of a spouse or dear

friendormovingtoanewcommunity.Lonelinessoftendiminishesofitsownaccordwiththepassageoftime.Butwhileithasitsgriponyou,itcan be devastating. The discontent or unhappiness experienced whenone is isolated or feeling disconnected from others can be debilitatingandfrightening.Sometimeslonelinessisduenottophysicalsolitudebutratherreflectsalackofcloseorintimaterelationships.“Tobeisolatedisthegreatesttragedyforahumanbeingandthemostgeneric form of stress,” according to psychologist Joan Borysenko.Others,suchasepidemiologistLeonardSagan,haverecognizedthatitisnotmerely thenumberofpeople aroundusbut rather the satisfactionthatwederivefromourconnectionwithothersthatmakesadifferencebetweenperceivingourselvesasisolatedorconnected.Researchershaveidentifiedfivespecificelementsasthemostcommonreasonsforloneliness:

1. Livingalone.2. Feeling different or misunderstood and having difficulty makingfriends.

3. Situational isolation, such as physical limitations, hospitalization,lackoftransportation,orlivingfarfromothers.

4. Having no significant other, such as a spouse, close family, orcompanion.

5. Beingdisconnectedbydistancefromfamilyorfriends,suchasbeingaway at school, frequent travel, relocation due to work or otherreasons.

WhiletheobjectiveofESMistoreducethedistressofloneliness,itisnot meant to be the sole solution. An individual may need to makespecificcorrectivealterationsinlifetopreventthereturnof loneliness.Such alterations can include changing one’s living situation, takingcourses or other training in social skills, seeking out communityresources in order to connect with others who may be experiencingsimilar life circumstances, getting a pet, or making efforts to repairrelationshipsthathavebeenallowedtodeteriorate.

JealousyandEnvy

JealousyandEnvy

Thegreen-eyedmonster,jealousy,anditsechoemotion,envy,aresilentkillersof the spirit. Jealousy iswhatwe feel towardsomeonewhohasthe love of the person we want and can’t have; envy is what we feeltowardsomeonewhohasthethingswewant.Toseeaformerloverwithsomeone new can be like a searing poker to the stomach. Even thethoughtofsomeonehavingwhatwethinkwedeservecanbegalling.Itis with good reason that many of our words to describe jealousy arecenteredonthestomach.PsychiatristJohnDiamond,theauthorofLifeEnergy, compares the emotions of envy and jealousy to greed and thedesiretohavesomethingevenifwedonotneedorhaveaplaceforit.These are unpleasant emotions to experience and unpleasant to see inothers. Jealousy and envy can be particularly tormenting because wemayharbor thesepoisonous feelings in secret. If jealousyandenvydoleakout,theycanbeasfoultoothersasagarlicbelch.Thesequenceforjealousy and envy seeks to relieve our attachment towhatwe do nothave.

NegativityandObsessionalThinking

Whenourenergiesaredepleted,forwhateverreason,ourthoughtscantake a dark turn. Negative thinkingis the proverbial wet blanket,characterizedbyagenerallypessimisticfeelingthatanticipatesfailureorunpleasant outcomes. It is important to recognize when negativethoughtsbecomehabitualandtorootthemout.Untilweareinamorereceptive frameofmind, specific protocols are likely to be ineffective.Often a pattern of negative thinking is caused by polarity reversals. Ifnegativity seems to be a factor for you, begin by doing the BalancedBreathing exercise and the polarity reversal corrections. If this doesn’twork, you may be dealing with the more troublesome problem ofpolaritydisorganization.TheremedyforthatistheFive-StepBreathingexerciseinChapter9.Unresolvedemotionalissuesalsocanleadtoapatternofobsessional

thinking. When we get to this point, no amount of reasoning orwillpowercanshutofftherepetitivethoughts,desires,orideasthatkeepus awake at night. Here too we need to clear our minds with the

Balanced Breathing and Polarity Reversal exercises before addressingotherproblemswewanttoheal.

EmotionalTrauma

Traumatic events in the past—the terror of battle, rape, abuse, amugging,anaturalcataclysmsuchasafire,earthquake,ortornado—canleaveus literally inastateof shock.Adeepandprofoundwoundmaystem froma singleexperienceor fromrepeatedexposure to thecausalcircumstances. Often the aftereffects of these shocking and painfuleventspersist foryears.Anuntreatedshocktothesystemcanmanifestas post-traumatic stress disorder (see Chapter 5), a condition thatwarrants professional clinical attention. Self-administered thoughtenergytherapiesmaybeonlyonepartofthesolutionforserioustraumaofthetypethatproducesPTSD.The intenseexperienceofa traumaticevent leavesus feelingunsafe,

asifourlivesareoutofcontrol.Emotionaltraumacanincludefeelingssuch as anger, rage, guilt, rejection,confusion, anxiety,fear,andgriefover the loss of our innocence and sense of safety. Emotionaltrauma also can stem from such losses as an important relationship, ajob, or from the failure of a business. Emotional Self-Managementtechniquesoftenaresuccessfulat treatingobsessional thinkingaboutapast trauma with only one application of the trauma protocol. Othertimestheprotocolforobsessionalthinkingwillneedtobeapplied.

Jonathan,thevictimofaviciousmuggingthreeyearsearlier,wasreferredbyalocalpaintreatmentcenter.Afterreconstructivesurgeryonhis face,hewasstilldisfiguredand innearly constant pain. Potent and addictive painkillers provided only brief and limitedrelief, and they did nothing for his emotional pain. The loss of his once-handsomeappearance, foreverscarredby thebeatingandonlypartiallyrepairedby thesurgeries,wasaconstantreminderofthatdayinlateJunewhenhisworldchangedforeverashewalkedtohiscarafterwork.Gonealsowashisfeelingofsafety.Helivedintremblingfearofanotherattack;hewasedgyawayfromhome.Thelossofconfidenceandlossofcontrol over his life had left Jonathan with a seething frustration that he could onlybarelydisguise.Inoneofthemostmovingexperiencesofmyyearsofpractice,IwatchedJonathan’sfearsandtormentdrainawayinoneforty-fiveminutesession.

At first, I could see that Jonathan was going through the procedures with greatdeliberationbutlittlehope.Butatonepointaprofoundchangecameoverhisface.Atallandstoicman,helookedup,smiling,withtearsrollingdownhischeeks.Itwashissmilethatsavedmefromworryingthattheseweremoretearsofsorrow.Tearsofreliefwerestreamingdownhisface,andJonathansaidthathefelttheyearsoftormentliftingfromhim.My own eyes were moist at this point, with the realization that he hadmade acrucialturnonhisjourneybacktolife.

Jonathan’sphysicalpainlessenedashisemotionalpainresolved,andhewasabletotalk about the assault. The process of integrating that awful experience into his self-conceptandworld-viewcouldnowbegin.TherapyforJonathanwasnotover,butrelieffromthe traumafreedhimto face the future.ESMis sometimesbothanendingandabeginning.InJonathan’scase,itmarkedtheendofhisemotionalpainandthebeginningofrebuildinghislife.

MiscellaneousApplicationsforESM

OurexperiencewithESMprocedureshasshownthemtobeeffectiveforthe psychological or emotional components of some types ofpain.Thechronic pain and discomfort that can accompany injury, illness, orstructural disorder can put a huge kink in our enjoyment of life. Inaddition to the physical sensations generated through the nervoussystem,oftenfeelingsofmiseryandsufferingarewithinthementalandemotional realms. Examples of the physical source of such pain aretoothaches, tension headaches, back and sciatic nerve pain, childbirthlabor, muscle strains and aches, low back pain, cancer, arthritis, andother degenerative tissue conditions. The pain protocol can providetemporary relief for the emotional component of these and otherdiscomforts. It is not meant to replacemedical evaluation for pain ofunknownorigin.Werecommendthatyoufirstseekappropriatemedicalordentalevaluation.Painisawarning;youshouldbeexaminedforanymedicalexplanationsbeforeturningdownthealarm.Aswe gainmore knowledge about theworkings of this therapy,we

expect to develop sequences for additional target symptoms. For now,weofferthefollowingremedies,inalphabeticalorder:

Many of us have been beset by periods of awkwardnessor

clumsinessthat areunrelated toneurological conditions,whenweare prone to stumble andbump into things or to be forgetful anddropthings.Whengraceseemstodesertus,polarityimbalancemaybe the culprit. Often the problem can be corrected with theBalancedBreathingexercise. If thisdoesnot remedy the situation,turntotheFive-StepBreathingexerciseforpolaritydisorganizationinChapter10.Lack of endurance, physical or mental weariness, exhaustion, orgeneralfeelingsoftiredness(notassociatedwithclinicaldepression,chronic fatigue syndrome, or other medical problem) are oftenimprovedwithProtocol#8,forfatigue.Hiccups,an inconvenient, sometimes embarrassing, and certainlyannoying malady caused by involuntary contraction of thediaphragm,oftencanberemediedwithProtocol#12.Jet lag,whichcausesadisturbance in thecircadianrhythmduringairtravelacrosstimezones,canleadtosleepiness,grogginess,andpoorconcentration.SeeProtocol#14.Nasalcongestionorstuffiness,includingthatcausedbyallergiesassociatedwithairborneparticles,canfindsymptomaticreliefwithProtocol#17.The feelingsof irritability,hypersensitivity to criticism,negativity,diminished frustration tolerance, and fatigue associated withpremenstrual cycles often respond to Balanced Breathing, thePolarityReversalexercise,andProtocol#22forPMSsymptoms.

We hope that these fuller descriptions of the target emotions andapplicationsforESMhavehelpedyouclearlydefinetheissuesyouwanttoaddresswiththespecificprotocolsinChapter9.

PARTIII

AdministeringESMProtocols

S

EIGHT

HowtoAdministeranESMProtocol

ofaryouhavevisitedvariousoutpostsontheESMmap.Nowyouarego-ing to get the map of the whole territory so that you can self-

administertheESMprotocols.ManyofthestepsofanESMprotocolarealreadyfamiliartoyou.You’vedonethetwo-minuteBalancedBreathingexercise and corrected for all twelve polarity reversals. You’ve learnedthe 9-Step Bridge, with its humming and counting, and the eyemovements of the EyeRoll. Youhave identified your emotional issuesandlearnedtorateyourdistresslevelusingtheSUDscale.Thischaptershowsyouhowtoputthesestepstogetherwiththeemotion-specificTapSequencessothatyoucanadministerthefullprotocols.AlloftheESMprotocolsarealike,exceptfortheseriesoftappingpointsinStep4.AlltheprotocolsaregiveninChapter9.Hereiswhatacompleteemotion-specificprotocol lookslike,stepby

step.

Step-by-StepThroughtheProtocolProcedure

1.SUDSThinkabouttheissueorproblemandratelevelofdistressonthe0to10scale(page102).

2.BalancedBreathin

DotheBalancedBreathingexercise(page58).

3.Polarity

Correct for Polarity Reversals, stating your emotion or

Reversals problemwitheachone(page61).

4. TapSequence

Administer the specific tapping sequence foryour feelingorproblem.HereisanexampleofaTapSequence

5.Bridge DotheBridge(page92).

6. RepeatTapSequence

RepeattheTapSequence.

7.SUDS?

Recheckyourdistresslevel.If ithasdroppedtozeroortoalevel that feels right to you, proceed to close with the EyeRoll.Ifyourdistresslevelisnota0or1,consultthedecisiontreethatfollows.

8. EyeRoll

Finalstepoffulltreatmentprocedure(page92).

TheESMprotocolsareessentiallyrecipes,workedoutthroughmuscletestingtodevelopthespecificsequences fordifferentproblems,similartofiguringoutthebestmicrowavesettingforpopcorn.Ultimately, themost important ingredient in anyESM recipe is you.

You are the cook, mixing the ingredients, making sure the timing isright,measuringandmonitoringasyougo.Butthisisnotrocketscience.Therecipesareflexibleandcanbeadaptedsomewhattoyourneedsandtemperament.Anextrapinchofthisorthatisnotgoingtohurt.Whatisneededisyourintuitionandattentiontotheprocedures.The first order of business is to choose the correct procedure.Remember, you can work with only one issue at a time. Immediatesuccessisunlikelyifyoutargetyouranxietyaboutlosingyourjob,yourobsessionwithchocolate,andyourguiltoveryourspendinghabitsallatonetime.Eachprotocolnarrowlyaddressesaspecificissue;atleastonetappingsiteisdifferentforeachprotocol.Once youhave identified theproblem, your task is tomeasure yourdistresslevelaccuratelyontheSUDscale.Itisuptoyoutostayfocusedand to reevaluate yourdistressduring theprocess and, if the recipe isnotworkingforyou,tofigureoutwhatstepstotake.Inotherwords,tobe a good cook. You will get positive results just by following thedirectionsinthebook,andprettysoonyouwon’tevenneedthebooktoadministertherecipesyouknow.Set aside a quiet half-hour the first time you try the process. Sitcomfortably, and try to minimize any distractions. You don’t need adarkened room or absolute quiet, but distracting backgroundconversations don’t help, and don’t try to keep an eye on the kids orcheck e-mail at the same time. The ESMmethod is very forgiving ofminorimperfectionsintimingortapping.

Herearesomeadditional step-by-stepnotesabout theprocess thatyoumayfindhelpful.

Step1.SUDS.Before starting theprocess,make sureyouare clearabouttheemotionyouareaddressing.Takeaminutetotuneintoyour thoughts and feelings about the issue.Rate the level of yourdistress about this problem from 0 to 10 on the SUD scale.Writedownthenumber,soyoucancompareittoyourdistresslevelattheendoftheprocess.Justtuningintomeasureyourdistresslevelonthe0to10scaleandnamingtheproblemwillactivatethethought

field.YoumaywanttoreviewthematerialaboutSUDSinChapter6before proceeding. *Formore about Tuning in the Thought Field,seepage140.Step2.BalancedBreathing.DotheBalancedBreathingexercisefortwominutes.Step3.PolarityReversals.DothePolarityReversalexercise.Asyougothroughtheprocess,keepyourprobleminmind.Youmaywantto substitute your own verbalization of the issue you are dealingwithforthegeneralwording“myproblem.”Forexample,youmaywant to say“Icompletelyand totallyacceptmyself,evenwithmysadness.”Or“…evenifIdon’tdeservetogetovermyguilt.”Or“…evenifitisnotsafeforothersformetogetovermyangeratBart.”Thiswillhelpkeepyourfocusontheproblem.Step 4. Tap Sequence. Here’s the new part. Each tap sequenceinvolves tapping seven times at a series of sites. (The exception isthe Back-of-Hand site, where you are instructed to tapcontinuously.) Just follow the series of illustrations or theabbreviationsandrunthroughtheentiresequence,tappingatarateof3–4tapspersecond.Keepthatthoughtfieldactivebykeepinginmindtheproblemyouareworkingwith.Heretooyoumaywanttosay,aloudortoyourself,“myfrustration”or“myloneliness”or“myprocrastinationabouttheannualreport”asyoutapeachtreatmentpoint.SomeoftheTapSequencesincorporateanIntentionStatementasyoutapatcertainsites.Thesesitesareindicatedbyanasterisk(*).Theexampleonpage134indicatesthatthereisanIntentionStatementat the Little Finger site. Repeat the indicated Intention Statementthree times as you continuously tap the designated site. If thestatement does not seem to fit your situation, choose one of thealternativestatementsoffered;oryoucanadjustoradaptonetobea better fit for your situation. See Custom Tailoring IntentionStatementsonpage142.Step5.DotheBridge.Step6.RepeattheTapSequenceinStep4.Step 7. Recheck SUDS.Recheck your distress level, and write it

down.Hereisthecriticalpoint.If you arrive at a 0 or 1, you can proceed to conclude theprocedurewithStep8,theEyeRoll.Ifyounoticeadropof2ormorepointsontheSUDscale,butyou are still not at 0 or 1, administer the Booster PolarityReversals shown later in the chapter and then repeat thesequence,beginningwithStep4.Ifthisprocessdoesn’tgetyoutoa0or1,refertothetroubleshootingtipsbelowunder“StuckontheScale?”(p.138).Ifyoudonotseeadropof2ormorepoints,see“StuckontheScale?”

Step8.EyeRoll,asshowninChapter5.

TheImportanceofGettingtoZero

Howdoyouknowifyou’vegottentozeroontheSUDscale?Whenyoutuneintotheproblem,thereisnodistress.Youareawareoftheproblemand are fully cognizant of the facts of the situation, but you feel noagitationorturmoilaboutit.Theremaystillbepracticalmattersinyourlife that need to be dealt with, but you are able to think about themwithoutanyworryoranxietyInfact,youmaybethinkingmoreclearlyabout the problem for the first time and are now able tomake betterdecisions.Yourmemorysuddenly improves.Perhapsyounoticeadropinphysicaltension;yourfaceandshouldersfeelmorerelaxed.Thereisnothingmagicalaboutachievingazerodistress levelontheSUD scale. But for thosewho have been suffering emotional upheavalandpain, itcancertainly feel likemagic.Onapractical level,youcanfinish out the process at any level you choose. For some people,droppingfromalevelof8,forexample,toa2representsgreatsuccessandrelief,and theyare satisfied to stop.Others stopbecause they feelthata1ora2 representsan“appropriate” levelof emotionaldistress,especiallywithregardtoissuessuchasgrieforguilt,andtheyelecttostopthere.ThiswasthecasewithPhilinChapter7,whowantedtostopat1ontheSUDSsohewouldhaveareminderofthepainhe’dcausedhiswifeandfamily.

However, we have noticed in our clinical practice that when thedistresslevelisreducedtozero,itislesslikelytorecur.Whenthestressleveliszero,itappearsthatallofthedisturbanceinthemeridiansthatproducedtheemotionaldistresshasbeendissolvedoreliminated.As discussed inChapter 6, habit patterns and ongoing stresses often

willbeprovokedagainandneed tobe retreated, although thedistresslevel probablywill not be as high the next time and often subsequenttreatments will last longer. We’ll talk more about maintenance inChapter12.

ButWhatIfYouRunintoDifficulty?

Howdoyouknowiftheprocessisnotworking?ThebarometerofyourprogressisyourownSUDSrating.If,whenyourecheckyourSUDSlevelafter the second Tap Sequence (Step 7), it hasn’t changed or has notdroppedmorethantwopoints,somethingisnotworking.Inmostcases,when you can’t reduce your distress to 0 or 1, the correction is easilymade.Thetwo-pronged“decisiontree”diagramsthepossibledetoursonthe way to getting to zero. The remedies are described after the box,under“StuckontheScale?”

TroubleshootingDecisionTree

Step7.RecheckSUDS

IfSUDShasdropped2pointsormore,butnotto0or:

IfSUDShasnotchanged,orchangeislessthan2points:

1.AdministerBoosterPolarityReversals(below),thenrepeatfromStep4.Ifstillnotat0or1,goto2.Newaspectofthesameemotion:Refocusonnewaspectofdistressandrepeatsameprotocol

1.WrongTapSequence.Tunein,identifytheproblem.RepeatfromStep4,usingTapSequenceforcorrectemotion.Ifstillnochange,goto2.PolarityDisorganization.DoFive-Step

ofdistressandrepeatsameprotocolfromstep4.3.LayeredProblem.RepeatfromStep4,usingTapSequencefornewemotion.Ifstillnotat0or1,try4.ComprehensiveSequence.RepeatfromStep4,usingTapSequenceinProtocol#5.

Disorganization.DoFive-StepBreathingexercise(inChapter10);repeatfromStep3.Ifstillnochange,goto3.SpecialPolarityReversal.Identifyandadministerspecialreversal;repeatfromStep4.

StuckontheScale?

Ifthe0to10levelofdistresshasdroppedmorethan2points,butyou’restuckthere:

A drop of 2 or more points on the SUDS means that something isworking,butthefactthatithasn’tdroppedtoa0or1alsoindicatesthatsomethingelseisblockingthefulleffectivenessofthetreatment. If thedistresslevelhasdroppedbyatleasttwopointsbuthasnotfallentothe0or1level,therearefoureasilyfixedpossibilities.

1. 1.BoosterPolarityReversals.Thisistheremedyoffirstresort.Asitsname implies, these add-on polarity reversals amplify, or “boost,”theeffectivenessof thestandardones. Inmostcases, theseboosterreversalswilleliminateanyresidual reversals,andhelpgetyouto0,ortothelevelyouwanttobe.Therearetwoboosterreversals:

Repeat three times while rubbing the Chest site: “I deeply andcompletely accept myself, even if I am not completely over thisproblem.”

Repeat three times while tapping Under Nose: “I deeply andcompletely accept myself, even if I never get completely over thisproblem.”After administering theBooster PolarityReversals, return to the

protocolandrepeatfromStep4.2. Newaspectofthesameemotion:Don’tgiveuptooeasilyontheTapSequenceyouareusing.Sometimesaswearetreatinganemotion,anotheraspectofthesameproblemcomesup.Ourgriefoverlosingajob,forexample,bringsupgriefoverallthetimeswemovedasachild. In such a situation, after first doing the Booster PolarityReversal correction, focus your thoughts on the newaspect of theemotionandrepeatthesameTapSequence.OnlyifyoustillseenochangeinthelevelofdistressshouldyoumovetoStep3.

3. Layered Problems. The third possible stumbling block is that, inclearingawayyourdistressaroundoneemotion,anotherhascometothesurface.ThelayeringofemotionswasdiscussedinChapter6.One emotion canmask another theway that loudmusicmasks aringingtelephone.Atothertimes,ouremotionsdon’tinterferewitheachotherorinanywayoverlapasweadministerthetreatments.Our sadness may not come up when we do the treatment forjealousy.Treatingour eatinghabitsmaynotbringupour fearsofrejection. But when another emotion makes itself known in themidst of a treatment, we will not get complete relief from ourdistress until it is addressed, because in one way or another it isrelatedtotheoriginalemotionaldistress.

4. Todeterminewhetheryouhavea layeredproblem,sitquietlyandbreathecalmly.Tuneintoyourthoughtsagain,andseeifanotherfeelinghassurfaced.Ifyourecognizeanewaspectofyourdistress,turntotheprotocolforthenewemotion,evaluateyourSUDSlevelfor the new problem, and proceed through the new protocol,beginning with Step 3, polarity reversals. Treating for the newemotion shouldbringyourdistress level to the levelyouwant.Ofcourse,itisalwayspossiblethatthedistresslevelwillnotbeerasedcompletely orwill even increase because yet another emotionmaysurfaceandneedtobetreated.

5. 4.Ifyougetfrustratedwithpeelingawaylayerafterlayerandstillnotgettingto0,orifyoucannotseemtofigureoutwhatiscausingyourdistress,trythelong-windedbutofteneffectiveComprehensiveTapSequenceinProtocol#5,proceedingfromStep4.Thissequenceincludes elements of many common and often overlapping

emotions.Thecomprehensivesequenceoftendoesthetrickwhenallelsefails.Ifnewemotionsstillarise,thesequencecanberepeated.

Ifthereisnochangeorifthereisadropoflessthan2points:

Any drop of less than 2 points on the 0 to 10 scale we consider“wishfulthinking,”probablyduetoyourhopesandexpectationsratherthantruerelief.Insuchcases,theproblemmaybeoneofthreethings:

1. Youareadministeringthewrongsequence.Ifyouthinkthismaybetrue,tuneintoyourfeelingsagainandseeifyouhavelabeledtheemotioncorrectly.Ifyoususpectadifferentemotionisinvolved,usethat new Tap Sequence and do the process again, beginningwithStep 4. If you don’t think you’ve mislabeled the emotion, theproblem is likely to be due to the next item, polaritydisorganization.

2. Polaritydisorganization,inwhichpolarityisabsentorincoherent,isremediedbytheFive-StepBreathingexerciseinChapter10.

3. The least likelyculprit isa specialpolarity reversal,anunderlyingnegativepolaritythemeuniquetoyou.Theremedyforthisproblemis discussed under “Identifying and Treating Special PolarityReversals,”onpage142.

TuningintheThoughtField

Don’tworryaboutwhetheryouarekeepingyourprobleminmindeveryminute.Justtuningintomeasureyourdistresslevelonthe0to10scaleandnamingtheproblemduringthePolarityReversalsexerciseandtheTapSe-quencewillkeepthethoughtfieldactivated.Ontheotherhand,it’s best not to let your mind wander off to what you’re going to behavingfordinner.Remember, it is not necessary to “relive” a painful or unpleasantexperience in order to create a thought field while doing the ESMprocedure.Oftenemotionalpainhasgeneralizedinthesystem,andjustoneortwomemories,oranamingoftheissue, issufficienttoactivatethethoughtfield.Thebrainwillhavecollectedallofyourexperienceon

thesamecircuit.It sometimes happens that a troubling emotion, which usually

provokesaveryhighdistresslevel,canbeaccessedonlypartiallywhenthetimecomestodotheprocedure.Ifyouareunabletobringtomindthe feelings thatare troublingyouor tomusterupanydistressasyouadminister the procedure, there is little for ESM towork on. Thoughtenergytherapiesoperateontheemotionaldistresspresentatthetimeoftreatment. If no distress is experienced, only intellectual awareness ofthe problem, there is essentially nothing to treat, no grist for theemotional management mill. It will be best to learn the protocol andwait to administer the treatment until a time when you are activelyexperiencing the distress. Occasionally this situation comes up withclientswhohavefearsofdrivingorflying.Whilesomephobicpeopleareterrifiedbythemeresightormentionofthedreadedobject,othershavetobetheretofeelthefear.

Henry was terrified of elevators. At home reading the newspaper or tinkering in hisgarage, thinking about riding in an elevator didn’t distress him. Yet every day, as heenteredtheofficebuildingwhereheworked,he’dhaveamini-anxietyattackjustpassingtheelevatorsonthewaytothestairwellandhissixteen-storywalk-up.WhenwetalkedtoHenry,werealizedthathewouldneedtotreathisproblemon-site,whichwouldtakeabitofcreativeproblemsolving.Tappingandtalkinghiswaythroughtheprotocolinthebusy lobby would be embarrassing. (Of course he could treat himself for theembarrassment,butthat’sanothermatter.)Whatwerehisalternatives?Hecouldarrangetobeinthebuildinglateatnight,whennoonewasaround,tovisittheelevatorandbringup his fear. Hemight find a private place near the elevators, such as a rest room orstairwell, and administer the treatment there, or find other elevators that were moreprivate.

TheoptionHenrychosewastoadministerthetreatmentinsteps.Hewenttotheofficeearly, and did the Balanced Breathing exercise and the Polarity Reversals in his carbefore entering the building.Hewalked in and saw the elevators butwas calmer thanusualfromtheprocedureshe’djustdone:byhisestimate,a7ontheSUDscale.Inthestairwellnear the elevators,headministered theTapSequence,whichhe’dmemorized.Henrywasthencalmenoughtoreturntothelobbyandridetheelevatortothesixteenthfloor.Elated, hewentdirectly tohis private office,wherehedid theBridgeandagainadministeredtheTapSequence.Nowhisdistresslevelwasata2.Knowingthatgettingto0 was his best guarantee that the problemwould not return, Henry went through the

BoosterPolarityReversals,andgothisdistressdownto0,beforefinishingwiththeEyeRoll.Hecheckedouthis success—andcelebrated—byriding theelevator to thegroundfloorandback.

CustomTailoringIntentionStatements

YoumayfindthatwhenaTapSequenceinvolves intentionstatements,noneoftheonessuggestedfeelrighttoyou.Theoneswehaveprovidedarethestatementsthatwehavefoundfitmostsituations.Butifyoufeelsomereservationaboutthewordingofthestatement,youcanadjust ittomakeitmorerelevanttoyou.Askyourself,“Whatwouldmakethatstatement feel right forme?”or “What similar statement expresses thebasicthemeforme?”

For example, the standard intention statement in the love pain protocol is “Iwill loveagain”whiletappingtheLittleFingernailsite.ButRaywasstillreelingfromtheshockofhiswife’s departure. In spite of their bitter andheartbreakingdivorce,Raywas still inlovewith her. “I will love again” did not in anyway resonatewith Ray.He couldn’timaginefallinginlovewithanyoneelse,ever.Whenheusedthestatement“Iwillgetoverthispain,”hewasabletomovethroughtheprocessinjustafewminutesanderasehisdistress.

IdentifyingandTreatingSpecialPolarityReversals

Inourpractice,wehaveencounteredafewinstanceswhereapowerfuland very personal issue seems to sabotage the effectiveness of thetreatment.Onewasacaseinwhichaformerministercouldnotgetanyrelief until he acknowledged his spiritual guilt with the statement “Icompletely acceptmyself, even if God will not forgiveme for gettingdivorced.”Anothermanwhocameinbecausehesaidhewantedtostopdrinkingrevealed,throughmuscletesting,thathedidn’treallywanttoquit. The statement “I deeply and completely accept myself, even if Idon’thavethedesiretogetoverthisproblem”wasabletooverridehisunconsciousresistance.Ifyouarestuck,askyourself:“Arethereanyotheraspects,themes,or

perspectiveson thisproblemthatmightbe interfering?”Listen toyourintuition for a reply.Youmight find “I reallydon’t trustmyself togetoverthis.”Or“I’mgoingtofeeldeprivedifIgiveupcigarettes.”To help you tune in to what might be blocking your progress, we

present the following listof the special idiosyncratic reversalswehavecomeacross.

“IDEEPLYANDCOMPLETELYACCEPTMYSELF,EVENIF…

…I’llfeeldeprivedifIgetoverthisproblem.”…Idon’ttrustmyselftogetoverthisproblem.”…Idon’ttrustotherstohelpmegetoverthisproblem.”…I’mtooembarrassedtogetoverthisproblem.”…Godwillnotforgivemeforthisproblem.”…Icannotletthisproblemgo.”…Idon’thavearighttogetoverthisproblem.”…itisnotrightformetogetoverthisproblem.”…I’mafraidtogetoverthisproblem.”…Idonotbelieveinthismethodofgettingoverthisproblem.”…Idonotwantthismethodtowork.”…Idonothavetheintentionofgettingoverthisproblem.”…thisproblemistooseveretogetover.”…I’mnotcapableofgettingoverthisproblem.”… I am too angry/intolerant/guilty/unworthy (name your issue) to get over thisproblem.”

Ifyouidentifyauniquereversal,turnitintoastatement.Forexample:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIdon’ttrustmyselftogetovermy jealousy.” Repeat it three timeswhile rubbing the NLR spot.Thenreturntotheprotocol,repeatingthetreatmentfromStep4.

THELASTTAPLESSON

Hereareallthetaptreatmentpointsthatyouwillusetoadministertheprotocols.Mostof these sites arebilateral,meaning that there is a tapsiteoneithersideofthebody.Forthatmatter,youcantapbothsitesatonce, or switch fromone side to theother. Locate eachpoint onyour

bodyasyoureadthroughthedescriptions. Ifyouwant torefreshyourmemoryabouttappingtechniques,refertoChapter4,page68.Chest:Thisistheonlysitethatemploysrubbinginsteadoftapping.The

Chestspot is locatedabovetheheart,aboutthree inchesoff thecenterlineofthebody.Itissometimesreferredtoasthe“sorespot,”becauseinmany people the spot is tender compared to the surrounding area. Tolocatethespot,probeinthatvicinityuntilyoufeelatenderspot.Usingtwoorthreefingers,rubinatightcircularmotion,aboutonerevolutionpersecond,outwardtowardyourshoulderanddowntowardyourheart.It is important tomaintaina firm steadypressureasyourub,as ifyouweremassagingoildeeplyintothatspot.

Eyebrow:The Eyebrow location is at the inside of the eyebrow, in averticallinewiththeinneredgeoftheeye,closetothenose.Itisbestactivatedbytappingdirectlyat thesitewithtwofingersorbytappingwith the flat of one finger across the bridge of the nose, covering theinneredgesofbotheyebrows.

OutsideEye:TheOutsideEyelocationisontheboneoftheeyesocketattheouteredgeoftheeye,onahorizontallinewiththepupiloftheeye.Tapwithoneortwofingers.

UnderEye:TheUnderEyespotislocatedatthebottomoftheeyesocket,inadirectlinebelowthepupiloftheeye.Becauseitisveryclosetothesurface of the skin, it can be activated by tapping gently on the bonyridgebeneaththeeyewithoneortwofingers.

UnderNose:Tapwithoneortwofingersdirectlyinthecenterbetweenthenoseandupperlip.

UnderLip:Tapwithoneortwofingersdirectlyinthecenteronthechinjustbelowthelowerlip.

Collarbone: The Collarbone location is at the indentation where thecollarbonejoinsthesternum,orbreastbone.Youcanlocatethisspotbytracing along your collarbone from your shoulder inward toward thecenterofyourbodywithyourfingers,untilyouhittheharddownwardangle at the juncture with the breastbone. If you press firmly at thatspot,youwillfindashallowspotordepressionjustbelowthejunctionofthecollarboneandthebreastbone.Ifyoutapwithallfourfingersinthat general vicinity, one of your fingerswill always be activating thesite.

UnderArm:TheUnderArmlocationisonthesideofthebodyaboutfourinches below the armpit. It is best activated by tapping with all fourfingers, using the opposite hand. Tapping also can be done with thehandonthesamesidebycurvingthefingersbackandtappingwiththebacksofthefingers.

SideofHand:LocatetheSide-of-Handspotbymakingafistandnotingwherethepalmcreasesonthesideofyourhandjustbelowtheknuckleofthelittlefinger.It’sthe“karatechop”spot.Thesurestwaytoactivatethis spot is to do the tapping with the flat of all four fingers of theoppositehand.

Thumbnail: The Thumbnail site is located at the outside edge of yourthumbnail (notthe side that facesyour index finger).Tappingwith twofingersontheedgeofthethumbnailseemstoworkbest.

IndexFingernail:TheIndexFingernailsiteisatthebaseofthefingernailof the index finger on the side nearest the thumb.Tapwith the indexfingerorfirsttwofingersoftheoppositehand.

Middle Fingernail: The Middle Fingernail site is at the base of thefingernailofthemiddlefingeronthesidenearesttheindexfinger.Thesite can be tapped with the index finger or first two fingers of theoppositehand.

Little Fingernail: The Little Fingernail location is at the base of thefingernailonthelittlefingerontheedgeclosesttotheringfinger.Thesite canbe tappedwith the index fingeror the first two fingersof theoppositehand.

Back of Hand: To locate the Back-of-Hand spot, make a fist with onehand. On the back of your hand, locate the depression, or valley,betweentheknuckleofyourpinkyfingerandtheknuckleofyourringfinger.Nowtracebackaboutaninchinthedirectionofyourwristinthevalleyformedbetweenthetendonsofyourpinkyandringfingersonthebackofyourhand.ThisistheBack-of-Handspot.Nowthatyou’vefoundit,youcanreleaseyourfist.Toperform theBack-of-HandTap,use the flatof four fingers (that’show most people do it; you may feel more comfortable using fewerfingers) of your opposite hand and tap—or lightly slap—the Back-of-Handspot.

Rib:Therearetwopossibleribtreatmentsites.Thefirstisdirectlybelowthenipplebetweenthesixthandseventhribs.Onawoman,thiswouldbeabouttheplacewherethebaseofabratouchestheribs.Ifthefirstsite isuncomfortabletotapordifficult toaccess, tappingmaybedoneonthesideofthebody,wheretheribcagebegins,ataboutthehalfwaypoint between the armpit and the level of the navel. This tap point isseldomused.

ProlongedTapping:BackofHand(50X)

InseveralTapSequencesandprocedures,you’llbedirectedtotapfirmlyapproximatelyfiftytimesattheBack-of-Handsite.Thistreatmentispartof the protocols for guilt, fatigue, loneliness, love pain, physical pain,regret,rejection,andsadness.

Otherprocedurescallforyoutotapfirmlyataspecifiedmeridiansiteforprolongedperiods—approximatelyfiftytimes,orinsomecasesforaslongasittakestorepeatanintentionstatementthreetimesortoholdanimage in mind. (See Chapter 11.) Continuous tapping seems toaccelerate the development of a positive thought field associatedwiththegoalandenhancesthepositiveeffect.Aboutthirtysecondsseemstobe the optimum duration; tapping any longer doesn’t seem to yieldbetter results. In fact, there is a point of diminishing return; moretappingjustslowsdowntheprocess.It’salittlelikekneadingdough.Ifyoudon’tkneaditenough,itwon’trisewell.Butkneadingthedoughforhoursdoesn’tmakethebreadrisefasterortastebetter.Itmerelytakes

longertomakeit.

…………………

Areyoureadytotapintorelief?You’refinallythere.Justturnthepage.

F

NINE

TheESMProtocols

ull instructions and discussions of the procedures used in theprotocolscanbefoundonthefollowingpages:

SUDS page102

BalancedBreathingExercise page58

PolarityReversalExercise page70

TapSequence page144

Whenanasterisk appears,tapcontinuouslyatdesignatedsitewhilerepeatingtheIntentionStatementthreetimes.

Bridge page92

EyeRoll page92

ProtocolReferenceList

1. AddictiveUrges2. Anger3. AnticipatoryAnxiety4. Anxiety (Generalizedor Free Floating)Awkwardness: See Five-Step

Breathing,page183.Bitterness:SeeAnger.ChronicPain:SeePain.Clumsiness:SeeFive-StepBreathing,page183.

5. Comprehensive Sequence—if all else fails Compulsive Urges: SeeAddictiveUrges.Despair:SeeGrief.Disappointment:SeeFrustration.

6. Disgust7. EmbarrassmentEnvy.SeeJealousy.8. FatigueFear.SeePhobias.9. Frustration10. Grief11. Guilt12. Habits. See Addictive Urges. Headache (Tension): See Pain.

Heartache:SeeLovePain.13. Hiccups Hopelessness: See Grief. Hurt Feelings: See Rejection.

Impatience:SeeFrustration.Irritability:SeeAnxiety.14. Jealousy15. JetLag16. Loneliness17. LovePain18. NasalCongestion19. Negativity:SeeBalancedBreathing,page58,andPolarityReversals,

page61.20. ObsessionalThinking21. Pain22. Phobias23. Phobias,General24. PMSSymptoms

25. Procrastination26. Rage27. Regret28. RejectionRemorse: SeeGuilt.Resentment: See AngerRevulsion: See

Disgust.Sadness:SeeGrief.29. ShameSorrow:SeeGrief.Stress:SeeAnxiety.Tiredness:SeeFatigue.30. Trauma(Emotional)Worry:SeeAnxiety.

AddictiveUrges(CompulsiveUrges,Habits)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

2.Anger(Bitterness,Resentment)

CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

“Iforgivethem/him/her,becausetheydidn’tknowhowtododifferently.

Alternatives:

“Iforgivehim/herbutIdoholdhim/heraccountable.”“Iletgoofthisangerformyownwell-being.”

“Thereisforgivenessinmyheart.”Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariation

thatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

3.AnticipatoryAnxietyCheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

4.Anxiety,GeneralizedorFreeFloating(Irritability,Stress,Worry)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

Bridge

RepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

5.ComprehensiveSequence—ifallelsefails

CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

Bridge

RepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

6.Disgust(Revulsion)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

7.EmbarrassmentCheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

“Ireleasemyselffromthisfeeling.”

Alternatives:

“Iamrelaxedandletgoofthepast.”“Iamconfidentandcalm.”Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariationthatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

8.Fatigue(Tiredness)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

9.Frustration(Disappointment,Impatience)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

“Iletgoofthisfrustrationformyownwell-being.”

Alternatives:

“Itreallydoesn’tmatter.”“Iletgoofmydisappointmentformyownwell-being.”“Ifeelpeaceandtranquility.”“Ifeelbalanceandharmony.”“Icanpersevereandprevail.”Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariationthatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

10.Grief(Despair,Hopelessness,Sadness,Sorrow)

CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

11.Guilt(Remorse)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

“IforgivemyselfIknowthatIcouldnothavedonedifferently.”

Alternatives:

“IforgivemyselfIdidthebestIcouldunderthecircumstances.”“Icouldn’thelpitatthetime.”“Thereisforgivenessinmyheartformyownwell-being.”Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariationthatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

12.HiccupsBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceEyeRoll

13.Jealousy(Envy)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequence

RecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

“Iamfilledwithpeaceandharmony.”

Alternatives:

“Iamgenerousandloving.”“Iletgoofthepast.”Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariationthatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

14.JetLagBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

GoingWest:

Administeronceperhourduringflight.

GoingEast:

Administeronceperhourduringflight.

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceEyeRoll

15.LonelinessCheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

“Iamcomfortablewithmyselfandothers.”

Alternatives:

“Iambuoyantwithhope.”“Thereislightnessinmysoul.”Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariationthatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

16.LovePain(Heartache)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

“Iwillloveagain.”

Alternatives:

“Ireleasethepast.”“Thereisforgivenessinmyheart.”“Myheartisfilledwithhope.”Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariationthatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

17.NasalCongestionBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceEyeRoll

18.ObsessionalThinkingCheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequence

RecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

“Ireleasethesethoughtsformyownwell-being.”

Alternatives:

“Mymindiscalmandrelaxed.”“Iamatpeacewithmyselfandothers.”“Irenouncethepast.”Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariationthatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

19.Pain(ChronicPain,TensionHeadache)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

20.Phobias(Spiders,Claustrophobia,AirTurbulence)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

21.Phobias,General(Fear)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

22.PMSSymptomsCheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

23.ProcrastinationCheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

24.RageCheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

“Thereisforgivenessinmyheartformyownself-controlandpeace.”

Alternatives:

“Iamatpeaceandincontrol.”“Reasonandwisdomarewithinme.”Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariationthatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

25.RegretCheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

“Ireleasethepast,IdidthebestIcouldunderthecircumstances.”

Alternatives:

“Ireleasethepast,IdidnotknowthenwhatIknownow.”“Myfocusisonmylifeahead.”Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariationthatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

26.Rejection(HurtFeeling)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

Bridge

RepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

“Ideeplyacceptmyselfandremainopentonewpossibilities.”

Alternatives:

“Iamworthyofloveandaffection.”“Iamconfidentinmypersonalpowers.”“Ihavegoodfortuneandpeacewithin.”Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariationthatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

27.ShameCheckSUDSBalancedBreathingPolarityReversalsTapSequence:

Bridge

RepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT:

“I deeply and profoundly forgive myself and others, and I accept a newbeginning.

Alternatives:

“Iamauniquehumanbeing.”“IholdserenitywithinmeandIlookaheadinmylife.”Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariationthatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

28.Trauma(Emotional)CheckSUDSBalancedBreathingolarityReversalsTapSequence:

BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

INTENTIONSTATEMENT—ANGER:

“Iforgivethemhimher,becametheycouldnothavedonedifferently.”

Alternatives:

“Iforgivehim/herbutIdoholdhim/heraccountable.”“I let go of this anger formy ownwell-being.” “There is forgiveness inmyheart.”

INTENTIONSTATEMENT—GUILT:

“IforgivemyselfIknowthatIcouldnothavedonedifferently.”

Alternatives:

“IforgivemyselfIdidthebestIcouldunderthecircumstances.”

“Icouldn’thelpitatthetime.”“Thereisforgivenessinmyheartformyownwell-being.”

Chooseastatementthatfitsthesituationmostcloselyoruseavariationthatfeelsappropriatetoyoursituation.

S

TEN

Haywire

CorrectingPolarityDisorganization

uccesswithESMprotocolsassumesthatthebody’selectricalenergyand If other energy systems are properly polarized. The Balanced

Breathing and Polarity Reversal exercise at the beginning of eachprotocol ensure that both the polarity of the body and thoughts areproperlyaligned.If you have tried the standard remedies outlined in Chapter 8 and

havebeenunabletogetanysignificantreductioninyourdistresslevel,you are probably in that small percentage of people who are dealingwith a phenomenon called polarity disorganization. With polaritydisorganization, there is no detectable polarity. So there is nothing toreverse, or to put right. Picture a supermarket parking lot with nopaintedlines,sothecarsareparkedeverywhichway—arealmess.Thisis what seems to happen with some people’s electromagnetic energy.Whentheelectromagneticenergygoeshaywire,treatmentprogressisata standstill. Becausepolaritydisorganization affects thepolarity of thewholesystem,nothingwedototreatforemotionaldistresswillworkinthepresenceofthisproblem.Beforewecanevenaddressanyreversals,wehavetogetthosecarslinedup.There is a hierarchy of ways in which emotional disturbances can

manifest.First,anintenseemotionalexperiencebyitselfcanpersistlongafter the incident that provoked it has passed.Reversals in polarity ofthe body or of thought energy can be responsible for the looping ofemotional circuits and for the interruption of the body’s naturalmechanismsfordissipatingemotionaldistress.Polaritydisorganizationisamorecomplicatedandseriousdisruptionof thesystemandcan itselfspawnpolarityreversals.Polaritydisor-ganizationmaybetraceableto

energy toxins, such as electromagnetic radiation or an allergen,whichblockanyattempttotreatthefundamentalproblem.Whileallthecausesofpolaritydisorganizationarenotknown,itcanbecorrected.

Five-StepBreathing:TheRemedyforPolarityDisorganization

BeforeyouconcludethatEmotionalSelf-Managementtechniquesarenotworking for you, we encourage you to do the Five-Step Breathingexerciseoutlinednext.Butfirst,drinkalargeglassofwater.Aselectricalbeings,werequirealotofwaterforourwiringtofunctionproperly.Theelectrochemical processes in our bodies depend onwater to provide amediumforelectricalconductivity.Justasyourcarbatteryneedswaterinordertobeabletoacceptacharge,andwillshortoutwithoutit,thehumanbodywillhaveasimilarreactionwithoutadequatewater.Waterfacilitates the body’s electrolyte balance for optimal chemical andcellular functioning, and it also amplifies the electrical signals sent bythe tapping.Whereasmost people are sufficiently hydrated, for a rarefew,drinkingwaterseemstohelp.Dr. Roger Callahan developed the correction for polaritydisorganization that we call the Five-Step Breathing exercise. Thismethod uses what behavioral kinesiology calls the “brain buttons.”These “brain buttons” are the two Collarbone sites, which stimulate ameridiancircuitandstimulatethecarotidarteriestoprovideoxygen-richbloodtothebrain.Breathingprovidesamethodforinternalregulationandhaslongbeenrecognized as a stabilizing process in the fight-or-flight response. Dr.Herbert Benson demonstrated how specific breathing exercises canreversethe“adrenalineresponse”andmovethebodyinthedirectionofthe“relaxationresponse,”restoringcalmandcomposure.Certainformsofslow,deepbreathinghavesomethingofacascadeeffect.Thechainofeventsprecipitatedbysustainedrelaxationbreathingmayincludemostaspects of the autonomic nervous system that control automaticallyregulated body functions.Most of the symptoms reflective of emotionarecreatedthroughvariousoperationsoftheautonomicnervoussystem.

At the bioelectrical energy level, our breathing is one intimateconnection with our “energy atmosphere,” in the sense of sharingmoleculesandatomsandsubatomicparticleswithourentireplanet.Thevital life forces, according to Eastern Ayurvedic philosophy, enter andexitourbodythroughbreathing.ThestructuredbreathingoftheFive-StepBreathingexercise,insomewaysliketheBalancedBreathingexercise,utilizesprinciplesofyogaandmeditation to stimulate vital life forces. As author and psychologistDorotheaHover-Kramer,Ed.D.,states,“Whenweworkwiththebreath,we areworkingwith our life force, our energy Therefore, focusing onthebreathproducesarelaxedstate,providingadirectexperienceoftheunceasingflowofenergyinthebody.”Thisfive-steptreatmentinvolvescrossingthecenterlineofthebodywithalternatinghandswhiletappingthe Back-of-Hand spot and following a specific breathing sequence. Itservestoreestablishtheabsentordisorganizedelectromagneticpolarityandtoproperlypolarizetheelectromagneticflowsinthebody,restoringaproperbalancetoitsorganization.In our clinical practice, we have seen how polarity disorganization,whatever the source, interferesnotonlywithESMtreatmentsbutwithhypnosis,EMDRtreatments,andcognitiveandothertherapies.TheFive-Step Breathing exercise is a potent process for organizing the body’selectromagnetic energy, at least long enough for the ESM protocol towork.Ifpolaritydisorganizationispreventingatreatmentfromworking,and the emotional distress is related to the past, do the Five-StepBreathingandthentreatfortheproblem.Youwillgetrelief,andevenifyourpolaritybecomesdisorganizedagain, theoddsare that itwillnotcause theoldproblem to resurface,and theeffectwillhold.But if theissue is an ongoing source of stress, or if your polarity goes haywireagain,theemotionaldistressmayreturnandrequireareadministrationof the Five-Step Breathing exercise. This situation often occurs withproblems such as addictive urges for cigarettes, foods, or othersubstances,wheresomethingintheingesteditemactsasanenergytoxin,such as the nicotine in cigarettes, some artificial sweeteners andpreservatives, or high levels of refined sugar. It may take a period ofabstinencebefore the substance ismetabolizedoutof thebodyand itstoxic effects have ceased.More about energy toxins at the end of the

chapter.

THEFIVE-STEPBREATHINGEXERCISE

The Five-Step Breathing procedure only takes a few minutes, but itseffectispowerful.Althoughitisabitintricate,itisnotdifficulttolearn.It entails doing a five-step breathing technique eight times, each timeholdingonehandor theother indifferentpositionson theCollarbonesiteswhilecontinuouslytappingtheBack-of-Handspotwiththeoppositehand.If this seems confusing, it may help to think about it in terms of

polarity.What’shappeningwiththisexerciseisthatyouaregeneratingpolarity continuity, by first holding the palm side of the fingers (we’llcall that the southpole) to theCollarbonespot,and then touching thebackofthefingers(thenorthpole)totheCollarbonespot.ThebestwaytoaccomplishtouchingthebackofyourfingerstotheCollarbonesiteistomake a fistwith your thumb tucked inside or alongside your indexfinger.Let’s lookat thebreathingprocedure first.Hereare the five stepsof

thebreathingprocess:

1. Takeadeepbreathandholditforfiveseconds.2. Exhalehalfofthebreathandholdforfiveseconds.3. Exhalecompletelyandholdforfiveseconds.4. Inhalehalfwayandholdforfiveseconds.5. Breathenormallyforaboutfiveseconds.

Note: Half breaths in or out are approximate; there is no precise halfwaypoint.

Herearetheeighthandpositions.Remember,ineachpositionyouwilldoa complete cycleof Five-StepBreathingwhile continuously tappingtheBack-of-Handspotwiththeoppositehand.

1.

PalmsideoftherighthandtouchingtherightCollarbonespot.

2.

PalmsideoftherighthandtouchingtheleftCollarbonespot.

3.

Backside (makea fist) of the right-hand fingers touching the rightCollarbonespot.

4.

Backsideoftheright-handfingerstouchingtheleftCollarbonespot.

5.

PalmsideofthelefthandtouchingtherightCollarbonespot.Switchhands.

6.

PalmsideofthelefthandtouchingtheleftCollarbonespot.

7.

Backsideoftheleft-handfingerstouchingtherightCollarbonespot.

8.

Backsideoftheleft-handfingerstouchingtheleftCollarbonespot.

Practicesuggestions:Inordertobecomecomfortablewiththeprocedure:

1. Practice just the Five-Step Breathing sequence until you can do itcomfortably.

2. Then practice going through the eight hand positions to becomefamiliarwiththem.

3. Finally,addthecontinuoustappingontheBack-of-Handspotwiththeoppositehand.

Thefirsttimeyoutryit,dothewholeprocedureveryslowly,sothatyou feel confident and relaxed. In subsequent applications, you canmove as quickly as feels comfortable for you. Pretty soon the wholeprocesswilltakethreetofiveminutes.

…………………

The Five-Step Breathing exercise often leaves people feeling relaxed,perhapsevensleepy.It’snotjustboredom;it’stheeffectsofestablishinggeneralbodypolarityOnceyouhavecompletedtheprocedure,returntotheprotocolyouwerestrugglingwithandrepeattheprocessfromStep3, correcting for polarity reversals. You should now be able to reduceyourdistresstothedesiredlevel.IftheFive-StepBreathingexercisedoesnotcorrecttheproblem,then

itislikelythatanenergytoxinisatwork.

EnergyToxins

Energytoxinscantakemanyforms:electromagneticradiation,chemicalssuch as pesticides and solvents, food additives and even certain foods,profoundly stressful circumstances, and the proximity of others withdisorganizedpolarity.Notallpeopleareaffectedbythesefactorsinthesame way. While most people are susceptible to the effects ofelectromagneticradiationandinsecticides,whatactsasanenergytoxinfor one personmay have no effect on another. These toxins can existbelow the threshold of provoking a physiological allergic reaction yet

can totally disrupt the body’s electromagnetic energy system, and canthemselves be the cause of polarity disorganization. The Five-StepBreathing exerciseoftenoffsets the effects of the toxin long enough tohave time to administer the emotion-specific protocol and to have thetreatmenthold.Electromagnetic radiation is a toxin that affects many people,although studies to this point have shown only weak correlationsbetween electromagnetic radiation and disease processes such ascancers.Butnostudyhasbeenunderwaylongenoughtoevaluatelong-termeffects forphysical illness. It is difficult tomeasure the effects ofelectromagnetic fieldsbecause there isnoreliablewaytogetacontrolsample. Almost all of us are exposed to some level of electromagneticcontamination—in the environment, and through our proximity to thegadgets ofmodern life: computers, cell phones,microwave ovens. Thespikeintheelectromagneticfieldathighpowerlinesornearmicrowaveorradiotransmittersisoftenthefocusofstudy.When energy toxins are present in your environment but are notrelatedtoasubstanceyouarediscontinuing,professionaltreatmentforthetoxicitymaybenecessary.Qualifiedprofessionalsoftencanidentifyenergy toxinsand treat themusing thoughtenergy therapy techniques.In our clinical practice, we identify and treat the toxin itself as aproblem, justaswewouldtreatangeror fear. Inmostcases,onceit istreated, the substance is no longer a toxin to the system. But thediagnostic and treatment process is quite complex, involving muscletesting, holding the toxic substance against certain points in the bodywhile tapping, and other procedures. In situations where even thistreatment is not successful,Total BodyModification (TBM) can resolvetheseproblems.Ahomeopathicornaturopathicpractitionerinyourareacan locate a TBM specialist for you. Specialists in the diagnosis andtreatmentofenergytoxinsalsoarelistedintheResourcesappendix.

PARTIV

MaintainingandOptimizingESMBenefit

U

ELEVEN

PerformanceandProductivity

TheBonusRound

p to this point you have been using Emotional Self-Managementtechniques to eliminate long-standing emotional problems, or to

manageongoingstresses.ButtheabsenceorminimizingofstressisnotthefinaldestinationofESM.Thegoalistobehappy,tofeelconfident,productive, and fulfilled. In the words of author Joseph Campbell, itsgoalistoenableyou“tofollowyourbliss.”Nowthatyou’vehadsomepracticewith going from 10 to 0 on the distress scale,we’re going toshowyou how to use ESM techniques to go from0 to 10 on the plusside. ESMprocedures canworkwonders to boost yourmotivation andconfidenceandopenpathwaystomorefunandenjoymentoflife.Ifthetreatmentprotocols foremotionaldistressare like fixingashortcircuitin a battery, then installing positive thoughts about your goals can becomparedtoputtinginafullcharge.Sometimeswecanbecomesoemotionallydistressedthat just feeling

OK, not distraught or frightened, is all we imagine or hope for.Desperate for relief, we are content when ESM helps us merely tomanage our unhappiness. The idea that wemight actively pursue ourdreamsandfeelgoodaboutourselvesandouraccomplishmentsmayatfirstseemtoomuchtoask.Butnowthatyouhavemovedfromnegativeto neutral, this chapter will show you how to shift into forward gearwith the three-phase Optimizer Protocol to achieve your goals anddreams.Thisisthebonusround.DoyourecallSuzanne,fromtheintroduction,who,amongmanyother

things,wasterrifiedofdrivingonthefreeway?Sheisagoodexampleoftheway that ESM can be applied to performance and productivity. Inoursession,wefirstworkedtogetheranxietydowntoazero,so that

shewouldbeabletonegotiatethefreeway.ButthenIencouragedhertotakethenextstep—toinstallthepositivecognitionthat“Ienjoydrivingonthefreeway.”ShethoughtIhadrocksinmyheadwhenIsaid,“Let’snot just neutralize this, let’s install thepositive thought.” I toldher tocallmewhenshegothometoletmeknowwhathappened.Well,whatshetoldmewasthatshewasdelightedtobedrivingonthefreeway.Shewasstilllaughingwhenshecalled,inspiteofhermystification.

What’sHoldingYouBack?

Areyouassuccessfulandproductiveasyouwouldliketobe?Areyouconfidentofyourabilitiesathomeandwork,inyoursociallifeorontheplaying field? Are you motivated to grow and learn and use all yourskillsandabilities?Ifnot,whatisholdingyouback?JackNicklaushaswritten that90percentofbeingagolfchampion ismental.SinceESMtheory says that thoughts and emotions are intertwined, our feelingsregarding performance and productivity are also candidates forEmotionalSelf-Management.Issues of performance and productivity come up in all areas of life.Somepeoplewant tobebetterpartnersorparents,orwant todeveloptheir effectiveness as leaders in their community, church, school, orservice organization.Others desire to improve their tennis game or tomaketheOlympic team.The issuemightbepublicspeaking,or takingtests,orfeelingmorecomfortableatparties.Whoamongus,atonetimeoranother,hasnotprocrastinated,or shiedaway fromchallenges thatmight end in failure, or berated ourselves for our shortcomings?Whoamongus doesn’t have something holding us back from achieving ourdreams?Inotherwords,whodoesn’thaveroomforimprovementinoneoranotherareaoflife?What stands in thewayof achievingour goals? In themost generalterms,stress.Dr.DanielGoleman,whoseworkonemotionalintelligencewasdiscussedinChapter5,reportsthatin126studiesinvolving36,000people, it was shown that as a person’s worry increases, academicperformancedecreases,asreflectedintestgrades,grade-pointaverages,and other measures of performance. In other words, anxiety degradesperformance.

Most of the impediments to our optimum performance in work,recreation,orathleticsarerootedinanxiety.Mentaltensionandanxietycan cause loss of concentration, memory lapses, fuzzy thinking, andimpairedmotorskills.Stressmayshowupasprocrastinationorlackofconfidence or motiva- tion, as writer’s block or test anxiety or anynumberof thinlydisguisedvariationsof self-sabotage.Muchdistress isbased on fear. An athlete who has done poorly on her last couple ofoutingslosesconfidenceinherabilitytodowellthenexttime.Orsheisfrustrated and angry with herself. Someone who is terrified of failurefinds it hard to muster the motivation to try again. Fear of failure isoftenbehindprocrastinationandthekindofperfectionismthatkeepsusfromgettingourworkdone.Mostofusarefamiliarwiththefearoffailure.Weareafraidoftryingsomethingthatcarriestoogreatariskofournotreachingourgoal.Nottryingbecomes a safe haven from thepain and shameofmistakes.Ofcourse, not trying also means giving up the possibility of reachingbeyondourcomfortzonetowardtherewardsthatcomewithfacingourhobgoblins. Moreover, the fears and anxiety we hope to avoid don’treallygoaway;theyjustlieinwait,continuingtofester—untilthenextchallengearises.

BenevolentStress

Notallstressisbad.Theterm“eustress,”literally“goodstress,”referstothekindofmotivatingenergythatfuelsouractivitiesinapositiveway.Nervousexcitementaboutanupcomingvacationorjobpromotionisanexampleofpositivestress.There is a complex relationship between performance/learning andstressoranxiety.Theoptimumlevelofstressdependsonthenatureofthe taskathandand the temperamentof the individualperforming it.Generally, moderate levels of stress tend to produce the bestperformance. At the low end of the stress curve a person isunderactivated, similar to a speaker whose presentation is flat andemotionless. At the other end of the spectrum, overactivated stressresponsescanleadtoparalysis,suchasstagefrightandthetightnessagolfermightexperienceinanimportanttournament.

Performance enhancement is not always about resurrecting oneselffroma slumpor fighting thedemonsof fear or procrastination. It is apowerful tool for high-level achieverswhowant to do even better, asEllen’sstorydemonstrates.

Acapableandconfidentprojectmanagerforalargedefensecontractor,Ellencametousforwhatshecalled“riskmanagement.”Havingcomeupwithaninnovativesolutiontoone of her firm’s long-standing challenges, Ellen was now on the high-level teampresentingthenewconcept.She’dbeengiventheresponsibilityforfacilitatingthemeetingandintroducingheridea.

ThereseemedtobeverylittleonthenegativesideforEllen.Whateveranxietyshehadseemedtobeproductiveinnature,keepinghermotivatedandenthused.Heronefearwasofsomethingunforeseenthatmightinterruptorspoilthepresentation.Ellenknewthatherfear was largely irrational and that even the worst-case scenario—a failure of theprojectionequipmentorsoundsystem—wouldnotbecatastrophic,merelyannoying.

We targeted Ellen’s fear and got it down from a 5 to a 0 on the 0 to 10 scale ofdistress.Wecameupwith thispositivestatement in thesecondphaseof theprocess:“Iam confident, composed, and enthusiastic about this presentation under anycircumstances.”Inashorttime,Ellen’sbeliefinhergoalstatementwentfroma+6toa+10ontheValidityofCognition(VOC)scale.Inthefinalphase,Ellenimaginedherself,ingreatdetail,makingherpresentation.Shepicturedherselfstandingattheheadofthemeeting room, easily answering questions,moving through the slides and charts in themostconfidentandconvincingway.

Ellen left the office feeling terrific, promising to call after hermeeting the followingweek. But I didn’t get her report until three months later. “The presentation wentextremely well,” she said. “I felt great, and the vice president complimentedme on awonderfuljobimmediatelyafterward.Iapologizefornotcallingsooner.Butitfelttomelike the real testwaswhetherwe got the contract or not.With the government you’redealingwithalotofcontractualconstipation,andIdidn’tgettheresultsuntilthisweek.We secured amultimillion-dollar contract, and I know that the work we did togethercontributed to the job I did. I make it a point to recommend your risk managementprocedurestoallmycolleagues.Thanks.”

TheOptimizerProtocol

The purpose of the ESM performance and productivity protocol is to

short-circuit negative beliefs and install positive and optimisticcognitionsaboutourgoalsanddreams.Itallowsustoreplacefearsanddoubts about ourselves with an optimistic and productive way ofthinking about what we hope to accomplish. In this process, weinternalizerealisticself-conceptsinaparticularareaofourlives.Thereispowerindiscoveringthatyouhavetheabilitytotakechargeofyourlife.TheOptimizerProtocolwillprovidethemomentumforyoutocrosstheriverofavoidance,procrastination,andotherdefensesandreachthedestinationyouseek.All issues having to dowith performance and productivity,whetherwinning a race, giving a speech, passing a test, or writing a weeklyreport, follow the same three-phase protocol. Our colleague,psychologist Greg Nicosia, made invaluable contributions to theperformance enhancement applications used in Emotional Self-Management. We greatly appreciate his creative inspiration andassistance.HereisacapsuledescriptionoftheOptimizerprocess:

1. Phase1 isvery similar towhatyouhavealreadybeendoing.Thefirststepistoidentifythenegativethoughtsandemotionsthatkeepyou fromattaining thegoalordesireyou’re strugglingwith.Thenyou address the underlying negative feelings andbeliefs using thepertinent emotion-specific protocols (the whole procedure,including Balanced Breathing and polarity reversals) until you’vereducedyourstressaroundthatissueascloseaspossibletozero.Inmost cases of underperfor-mance and underproductivity theunderlying emotions are fear and anxiety, frustration, anddisappointment.

2. Thewholeperformanceandproductivityprocessisfocusedongoal-setting. In Phase 2 you clearly define your goal and state it as apositivethought.ThenyourateyourlevelofbeliefinthatthoughtontheValidityofCognition(VOC)scale.Nextyoudoavariationofthe Polarity Reversal exercise that addresses your doubts aboutreaching your goal. You follow with a sequence of continuoustapping at each of four sites, as you verbalize your positivestatement three times. You’ll continue with this process, working

throughanyproblemsthatcomeupuntilyougettoa+10ontheVOCscale,orveryclosetoit.

3. YoubeginPhase3bycomingupwithmentalimagesofyourselfintheprocessofaccomplishing,orhavingreached,yourgoalandthenrating your belief in those images on a scale similar to the VOCscaleinPhase2,whichwecalltheValidityofImagery(VOI)scale.ThenextstepisanotherroundofpolarityreversalssimilartothoseinPhase2.Thesearefollowedbyasequenceofprolongedtappingatthreesitesforaboutthirtysecondseach,whileyouholdinmindimagesofachievingyourgoal,againuntilyouhavegottentoalevelof+10ontheVOIscale.

TheOptimizerinAction

We’llusethefollowingstoryaboutRontoillustratetheproceduresandexpandonthefinepointsoftheOptimizerProtocol.

Ronisaretiredbusinessexecutivewithapassionforgolf.Butbythetimeheshowedupinouroffice,hisonce-belovedgolfoutingshadturnedintoakindofself-torture.Everytimehewentoutonthecourselately,he’dplayworsethanthetimebefore,andhe’dgohome feeling tense and discouraged. He was not terribly optimistic about getting helpfromthisoddprocess.“Whatcanyoupossiblydoforme,Doc?”heaskedinatonethatbeliedhislowexpectations.

1.Phase1:ThefirststepwastoseewhatfeelingsandbeliefswereunderminingRon’sdesire to play golf at the highest level possible.He described himself as distressed anddiscouraged, but most of all frustrated. “I just can’t seem to get in a groove,” hecomplained.“There’snoconsistency.OneminuteIslice,thenIshankthenextshot.I’mintheroughorthewoodsoneveryotherhole.WitheverymoveImake,there’salittlevoiceintheretellingmehowstupidandineptIam.”Ronwasinalatherofself-criticism,andclaimedhisdistresswasa12onthe0to10pointdistressscale.

TheBalancedBreathingexerciseseemedtorelaxhimabit,andwebegantocorrectforpolarityreversals.Beforewecouldevengetstarted,hisskepticismhadhimaskingendlessquestions.What was the point of the exercise?Why did he have to say things aboutsafety thatmade no sense to him? Finally he calmed down enough to go through theprocess,ashekeptinmindthenegativethoughtsandfeelingsabouthimself.Asisoftenthe case with performance and productivity issues, just doing the Polarity Reversal

exercise had a noticeable effect in clearing out the underlying negative emotions andthoughts.

At thatmoment,Ron’sprimary feelingwasoneofanxietyabouthis gameandevenanxiety about sitting inmy officeworking on the problem. Sowe targeted his anxietyfirst.Whenhisdistress levelwouldn’tcomedownbelowa6,Ihadhimtuneintosee ifthere were any other emotions interfering with getting to 0. Now he reported feelingfrustratedthatnothinghedidseemedtogethisgameoutofthedoldrums.WenextdidtheTapSequenceforfrustration,andhisdistresslevelwentdownafewmorepoints.Butsomethingstillseemedtobeintheway.Hewasstuckata3ontheSUDscale.Iagainaskedhimtotuneintoseeiftherewasyetanotherlayerofemotion.“Disappointment,”he admitted.“I’m very disappointed in myself.” Looking closer at his feelings ofdisappointment,hisdistresslevelrosetoa5.Afterdoingasequencefordisappointment,Ron’sdistresslevelfinallyfellto0.WeclosedtheprocedurewithanEyeRoll.IcouldseethatRonwasgainingconfidenceinthemethods.Wewerereadytomoveovertotheplussideandinstallapositivecognitionabouthisgolfgame.

2.Phase2:NowthetaskforRonwastoclarifyhisgoalandtophrasethatgoalasapositivestatement.Ronspentafewminutesreflectingaboutwhathereallywantedwithregard to golf. Closing his eyes and recalling how he had once enjoyed the gamewashelpful. Ron offered that it wasn’t about winning tournaments, but he did want toimprove his score on his home course. Then he realized he didn’t even really care toomuch about how he played compared to his golfing buddies. To help him clarify hisobjectives, IaskedRon,“Howwouldyou like to feelaboutplayinggolf?Whatexactlywouldyoulike toaccomplishwithyourgolfgame?”Ronrepliedthathewantednot tofeelsoworriedandanxiousbeforehewentouttoplayandnottofeelsofrustratedeverytimehemadeabadshot.Weworkedonformingthestatementtobepositiveratherthan“not”something.“I’dliketofeellikeIoncedidaboutgolf,havingfun,playingmybest,andbeingmoreconfidentaboutmygame,”hefinallysaid.

After running through a number of possible statements and weeding out negativelanguage,Ron settledon theactiveandpositivelyworded goal statement “I’m relaxed,confident,andIenjoythegame.”NowthatRon’sgoalwasclearlyarticulatedandinthepresenttense,RonratedhisbeliefinthestatementontheVOCscale.Hegaveita+1onascaleof0to+10,indicatingthathedidn’tbelievehisgoalstatement,butthathewaswillingtoconsideritapossibility.WedidtheBalancedBreathingexerciseagainandtheexercise tocorrectpolarityreversals.This timearoundRonadaptedthewordingof theIntention Statements as he went through the reversals, to acknowledge the underlyingdoubt and disbelief he had about his stated goal. Now Ron went through the Tap

Sequencefor installinghispositivestatement:Eyebrow,UnderNose,UnderLip,MiddleFingernail. As he tapped continuously, Ron repeated his goal statement three times ateachsite.“I’mrelaxed,confident,andIenjoythegame.”ThenRondidtheBridgeandrepeated the Tap Sequence, after which he again evaluated the VOC level of hisstatement.Thistimeitwas+8.BythistimeRonwasenthusiasticabouthisprogress.Hefeltgoodandwantedtocontinueontoseeifwecouldgettoa+10.Theboosterpolarityreversal“ItotallyandcompletelyacceptmyselfevenifIdon’twanttocompletelybelievethis statement,”while rubbing theChest spot, did the trick forRon.After finishingoutPhase2withanEyeRoll,Ronwasa+10ontheVOC.

3. Phase 3: This stage amplifies and integrates the effect of the new cognition byinstallinganinternalpictureofthedesiredgoal,whichforRonmeantimagininghimselfin the act of playing well and enjoying himself both on the course and afterward,regardlessofhisscore.Againwecorrectedforpolarityreversals(usinganothervariation,withminor changes in thewording, see page 208).Then I encouragedRon to bring tomind as vivid a picture as possible of his playing golf and enjoying himself, one thatinvolved all his senses. In his case this involved envisioning the course, picturing theweather,seeinginhismind’seyewhathewaswearing,imagininghisgripontheclub.Heimaginedhearingthewindinthetrees,jokingwithhisplayingpartners,andfeelingthebreezeagainsthis faceashenoticed theclubhouse in thedistance.Hewas smiling,hecouldsmellthenew-mowngrassonthefairwaysandheartheclickoftheputtertappingtheballintothecup.Iaskedhimtopicturehisfeelingofsuccessattheendofthegame.What would it look like?Would he be savoring a drink and staring into the sunset?Wouldclubmembersbecominguptoslaphimonthebackandcongratulatehimonhisgreatgameorsometerrificshot?IencouragedRontomakehisvisionasrealandthree-dimensionalandasactiveaspossible.

Whenhehadtheimagehewantedfullyinmind,Ronratedhisbeliefinhisimageryonthe VOI scale, page 208.Then he tapped for about thirty seconds on each of threetreatmentsites:UnderArm,theEyebrow,andUnderLip.Tappingcontinuouslyattheselocations,heimaginedhimselfshootinghisbestgameandevenfeelinggoodandlearningsomethingwhenhemissedaputtorlandedinatrap.Whenhefinished,hedidtheBridgeandrepeatedtheTapSequenceandimagery.RonagainratedhisbeliefinthevalidityofhisimageryontheVOIandwentthroughtheprocessagainuntilhereacheda+10.

Ron said thathenow felt completelyat ease thinkingabout thenext timehe’dplaygolf. That in itself seemed pretty remarkable to him. “This crazy stuff really works,doesn’t it?”he said.But of coursenomatterhowpositiveRon feltwhenhe left,whatreallycountedwashowitwouldaffecthisgolfgame.

What happened for Ron is what happens with most people.When their worry andanxietyabate,theirunderlyingtalentsandabilitiescanbedisplayedwithoutinterference.Ron called the following week to report “That tapping thing you did with me reallyworked.Istilldon’tknowwhattomakeofit,butIjustshota74.That’sthelowestscoreI’veeverhadonthecourse.”

OfCourseThere’sMore

Youdidn’tthinkyouweregoingtogetoffthateasily,didyou?Bynowyou’veprobably figuredout thatwehavea lotmore to tell youaboutexactlyhowtoexecutetheseprocedurestobesureyouaredoingthemcorrectlyandtogetthebestandquickestresults.SuccesswiththisESMapplicationassumes thatyou’vedoneyourhomeworkandhavegottensome practice, and success, with the basic procedures. The OptimizerProtocolisshownlaterinthechapter.Nextweprovideamoredetaileddiscussionofeachofthethreephasesoftheprotocol.

MoreAboutPhase1:LettingGoofFearandDenial

The words may vary, but the common thread underlying most corebeliefs is fear.Fearscancomeinmanyguises: fearofbeingfoundout,fearofdying, fearofbeingtakenadvantageof, fearofembarrassment,fear of rejection, fear of feeling stupid, fear of losing respect, fear offeelinginadequate,evenfearofneverbeinghappycanstandinourway.Oftenalonglistoffearsanddoubtsareimplicatedintheformationormaintenance of negative core beliefs. Fear can block ourmost valiantefforts toachieveourgoals.Takingacloser look,we find thatmostofourfearsareaboutoutcomesorcircumstancesthathaveneverhappenedinthepastorareveryunlikelytooccurinthefuture.Thisobservationhas led to reframing of the word “fear” to mean “false evidenceappearing real.” Looking closer,we are likely to discover thatmost ofour fears are based on rather flimsy evidence.Nonetheless, these fear-based hitches in our stride toward success can have self-fulfilling sideeffects.They’vegottogo.

Thefirstruleof improvingyourproductivityorperformanceistobescrupulously honest with yourself. Ready or not, here is the place tosurrendertoyourfearandself-doubtsandtoyourdenialofthosesamefearsanddoubts.Ifyouhaveevenashredofdoubtaboutwhetherfearof failureor self-defeatingbeliefs areholdingyouback,youarebetteroffacceptingitandtreatingyourselfforitthangettingstuckindenial.Inacknowledging fearandself-doubt,yougainpowerover it,andyoumoveonestepclosertoeliminatingit.Trustus.Trustyourself.ThegoalofPhase1istoneutralizeanysnags(negativeemotionsand

thoughts) to your positive intentions. What unacknowledged feelingslurk behind “Iwill pass that test,” or “Iwill knock ’emdeadwithmypresentation,”or“Iwillwinthattournament?”Isthecritic-in-residencetaunting“No,youcan’t,”or“You’dbetternot,”or“You’llbesorry”?

GaryCraig, thedeveloperofEmotionalFreedomTechniquesTM, callsthese negative beliefs “tail-enders.”Tail-enders have away of sneakingupbehindourpositiveaffirmationsorintentionsandrear-endingthem.Wesay,“I’mgoingtogotomybosstomorrowandconvincehimthatIdeserveapayraise.”That’sgreat,butwatchoutforthetail-ender.That’stheinnervoicesaying“Yeah,but…thenmorewillbeexpectedofme,andwhatifIcan’tkeepitgoing?”Phase1removesthedebrisfromourlives,andestablishesafoundationforastrongerself-concept.ThemottoofPhase1is“Giveitupandletitgo!”

MoreAboutPhase2:ConceivingandBelievinginYourGoals

Whilethewholeperformanceandproductivityprotocolisgoal-oriented,Phase2concentratesonhelpingyoutoarticulateyourgoalandtoinstalla firm belief in that goal. Any area of life can be approached from agoal-setting perspective, as David’s story demonstrates. The key is toroot out the negative emotions and replace them with a clear andpositiveintentionstatementaboutyourobjective.

Negative and unproductive emotions chip away at the healthy communication andmutual respect in relationships.David, a bright and sensitive entrepreneur,was findingthis out, as one after another of his relationships fell apart. If you looked at David’s

history,thiswasn’tsurprising.Afterthedeathofhisparentsatagesix,hewasraisedbyhisgrandparents.Nowomanhe’severbeenwithhasbeenabletoreassureDavidthatshewon’t abandon him. No amount of attention could assuage his insecurity. Each lossrenewed his old aches andmade himmore needy.Now hewas falling in lovewith awomanwhomhewasalreadyterrifiedoflosing.

Davidunderstood fullwell thathisdifficulty in sustaininga relationshipwasnot thefaultof thewomenhe’dbeenwithbutdue tohis fearand thebehaviors that stemmedfrom it. After working with David on his underlying fears of abandonment and thefrustration he felt at not finding a partner, the next step was to come up with aconstructive statement that articulated a more positive self-concept about the way hewantedtobehaveinarelationship.HowdidDavidwanttofeel?Whatwouldheliketosayabouthimselfwithregard tobeing inarelationship?Therewasno“right”answer.WhatDavidcameupwithwas“ItrustEileen’sloveforme,andIamcomfortablewhenI’mnotwithher.”Thisintentionstatementconnectedtothewayhisfearhadcausedhimtoactinclinging,needywaysthateventuallydrovewomenaway.

AFewPointersAboutGoal-Setting

Goal-setting is the heart of the Optimizer Protocol. We cannotoveremphasize the fundamental necessity of having a clearly definedgoal.Justasashipwithnodestinationfindsnofavorablewind, ifyoudonothaveclearlydefinedgoals,youwillnotbesuccessfulatmakingthe changes you desire. The following guidelineswill help you clarifyyourgoal.

Bespecificaboutyourobjective.“Ilearntoplayamusicalinstrument”doesn’tcutthemustard.Even“Ienjoylearningtoplaythepiano”istoo general.“I enjoy taking piano lessons twice a week at theStapleton School” is far better.“I want to be a great coach tomysoccerteam”isn’tspecificenough.Whatexactlywouldmakeyouabetter coach? More intricate strategies? More patience andunderstanding?Morepeptalks?Moregameswon?Meetinggoalssetbytheteamowner?Lackofclaritycanleadtomuddledobjectives.Themorespecificthestatement,thebetterthechanceofapositiveoutcome.Vagueorunclearstatementsarehardtofollowthroughonand difficult to evaluate for change. They leave a lot of wiggle

room.Without a clear definition of success, it is difficult to judgeourprogress.Break down big goals into intermediate steps. Suppose your overallobjective is to make the Olympic rowing team. Think about theingredientsofreachingthatgoalandsetstagedobjectives.Yourfirstgoal might have to do with your training schedule for the nexttryouts;yoursecond,foryourperformanceatthetryouts.Thenyoumightfocusonbuildingenduranceorstrength.Have a positive goal, about something you do want to accomplishratherthanwhatyoudon’twanttohappen.Thinkintermsofwhatyouwanttogain,notwhatyoufearlosing.Usuallyitiseffectivetoconnectthegoalwithapositiveemotionalmemory.Linkingagoalwith a past success is oneway to bring a positive feeling to yourcurrentquest.Ifyourgoalistogiveaninspiringkeynotespeechatafund-raising dinner, associate this objective with the feelings youhadwhenyouwonthehighschooldebatingcontest.Make your goals realistic and reachable. It is fine to have loftyaspirations, butwe tend towork harder if our goals are based inreality.Ifyouareforty-fiveyearsold,cannotreadmusic,andyourgoal is tobecomeaworld-renownedjazzflautist…well, let’shopeyouhavea lot of practice timeavailable.Aim toplayat the localclubbeforeyousetyoursightsonCarnegieHall.Whenourgoalsareoverinflated, they leave toomuch room for fear and self-doubt totakeupresidence.Failureisbuiltintounrealisticgoals.

Fine-TuningthePositiveStatement

Now it’s time to state your goal as a positive statement. Thephrasing ofyourgoalisveryimportant.Thefollowinglistofquestionswillhelpyoufocusonarticulatingjust

whatyouwanttoaccomplish.

HowwouldIliketofeelaboutthesituation?If therewerenoobstacles inmyway,howwould I feelabout thissituation?

What would I like to accomplish that I seem unable to do rightnow?Whatwould I like tobelieve that I’mnotbelievingnowabout thesituationorchallenge?WhatstatementexpresseshowIwouldliketofeel?WhatisthepositivethoughtIwouldliketohave?

Atthispointyoucanbegintoarticulatewhatyouwouldliketohappen.

“I’d like to feel confident and capable of taking this test (orwhateverthetaskmightbe).”“I’dliketobelieveIcandoagoodjobonthistaskandthengetonwithmylife.”“I’dliketofeellikeIdeservetowin.”“IwouldliketothinkthatIcanovercomethisthreattomyhealth.”“Whatwouldmakemehappyistobeabletogetthingsdoneandtobreakthispatternofprocrastination.”

When you have taken some time to reflect, phrase your goal as apositive statement. This statement can take any number of forms. Theessential ingredientsare that itbetotallypositiveandavoidtheuseofnegativewords,suchas“no,”“not,”and“never.”Inotherwords,say“Ieat only healthy food” rather than “I no longer eat junk food.” Say “Ipassmygeometrytestwithflyingcolors,”not“Idon’tchokeandforgetwhatIstudiedduringmygeometrytest.”Themoreactivethestatement,themorepowerfulitseemstobe.Make the statement in the present tense. An athlete might say “When

under pressure, I use the pressure to perform at my best.”A businessexecutive might say “My presentation goes smoothly and is receivedwith enthusiasm.”There are timeswhen stating thegoal in thepresenttense sounds hollow or out of place. However, we have found thatpresent-tensestatementsseemtoengageamoreactiveresponse.Herearesomeexamplesofpositivegoalstatements:

“Ipresentmycaseconvincinglyandspeakcalmlyandclearly.”

“IrecalleverythingI’vereadwhilepreparingforthebarexam.”“Icomeupwithacreativesolutiontoourpersonnelshortage.”“IlookforwardtopresentingtothebookclubonSunday.”“IamrelaxedandconfidentasIspeaktotheschoolboardaboutmysuggestionforafter-schoolprograms.”“GoingtopartieswhereImeetnewpeopleisfun.”

Whenyou’reinaslump,it’snoteasytocomeupwithapositivegoalstatement, and it’s even harder to believe it. Hector, a high-rankedpower lifter, was depressed and desperate when he came to see me,having won only two lift events in his last competition, where muchmorewasexpected fromhim.“Ikept thinking ‘I’mnotgonnamake it’every time I approached a lift,” he lamented. His coach was baffledabouthowtogetHectoroutofhisdoldrumsandbackontrack.Hector was fascinated by the muscle testing I used to diagnose his

polarity reversals. This world-class weight lifter found his musclesturningtojellyinthepresenceofanunconsciousnegativethought!Nowhewas curious.Wewent through theprocess, first using the emotion-specific sequences to rootout thenegative thoughtsandemotions thatweredoggingHector.But in Phase 2, Hector had a hard time coming up with a goal

statementinpositiveterms.“Iwon’tbenervous”and“NexttimeIwon’tthinkaboutgivingup”were thebesthecouldmusterat first.Wekeptworking with his negative thoughts and finally came up with twostatements that dealt with different aspects of his difficulty, one toaddresshisconcentrationandtheothertohelphimgatherhisphysicalresources ashe lifted the enormousweights.His final statementswere“AsIgripthebar,myconcentrationisastightasavise”and“AsIlift,allthemusclesinmybodyworktogether,andIfeelandrespondlikethechampionIam.”

Now we were cooking. In Phase 3, Hector now imagined himself at a competition,hearing his coach’s encouragement, approaching the bar and the weights in thecompetitors’ circle, feeling the cold steel bar, smelling the sweat in the arena.He sawhimself accepting the winner’s trophy, hearing the applause and the praise, and theinterviewwithsportsreportersafterward.

Hector made all six of his lifts in the championship tournament and continued toperformatthehighlevelsthatheandhiscoachknewwerepossibleforhim.“MycoachandIareincrediblyimpressedandhappy,”hetoldmeaftertheevent.“It’shardformeto understand what the heck you did, but I feel so confident now, and stronger thanever.”

Once you decide on your positive statement, evaluate it on theValidity of Cognition (VOC) scale and proceed with the protocol.Sometimes theway the goal is stated leads to complications that keeppeoplefromgettingtoa+10ontheVOCscale.Oneofourclients,forinstance,gotstuckonthegoalstatement“Iamaneffective leaderandconduct my meetings with enthusiasm and fairness.” That statementbroughtupfearandwonderingaboutwhetherinfacthewasalwaysfair.Wewent back and did the anxiety Tap Sequence around his negativethoughts of unfairness, to neutralize his distress. Then hewas able tocontinuethroughPhase2.YoumayencounteranunexpectednegativeemotionasyouinstallthepositiveintentionstatementorasyouinstalltheimageryinPhase3.Ifso,gobackandapplytheappropriateTapSequenceuntilitisnolongerablock; in otherwords, until you reduce the intensity of thenegativeemotiontoa1or0onthedistressscale.

TheVOCScale:TakingtheMeasureoftheTrueBeliever

TheVOC(ValidityofCognition)scaleusedinPhase2oftheOptimizerProtocolmeasures thestrengthofbelief thatapersonhas inapositivestatement. It begins at zero, meaning that, without reservations, youbelievethestatementisuntrue,andgoesuptoa+10,meaningthatyoufeel that the statement is totally and completely trueandvalid. InherEMDRwork, Dr. Francine Shapiro rates the VOC on a scale that goesfrom1to7.We’vereworkedthistobethe10-pointscalemostpeoplearefamiliarwith.

ValidityofCognition(VOC)Scale

0Nobeliefinthestatementatall.

0Nobeliefinthestatementatall.1Abletoconsiderthepossibilityofthestatement.2Abletofeelsomehopethatthestatementcouldbetrue.3Abletorelatetosomepriorexperiencethatsupportsthepossibilityofbelievingthestatement.4Thestatementhasagrainoftruthtoit.5Thepositivestatementbeginstobebelievable.6Abletoseethatthepositivestatementalreadyhasbeenpartlytrue.7Thestatementfeelstruebuttherearesomereservationsordisclaimers.8Thestatementfeelsmostlytruebutthereisstillsomedoubt.9Thestatementfeelsalmostcompletelytrue.10Thestatementfeelscompletelytrue—Ibelieveitwithoutadoubt.

Phase2PolarityReversals

PolarityreversalsarecorrectedineachphaseoftheOptimizerProtocol.But in Phase 2 the portion of the Intention Statement that normallyrefers to “the problem” now focuses on the negative thought or self-doubt that interferes with your total belief in yourself. This variationeliminates thenegative themes thatpreventyou fromtotallyacceptingandbelievingthepositivestatement.Thetargetofthesepolarityreversalsis simply the disbelief in general. It is not necessary to articulate thespecificsofthebeliefordifficultyAsyoucansee,thestructureremainsthesame,althoughthewordsvary.Inpreparation fordoing thepolarity reversals, thinkaboutwhatevermightbeinterferingwithyourtotalbeliefinyourpositivestatement.AsyoudothefollowingPolarityReversalexercise,repeatingeachonethreetimes,thinkaboutthedisbeliefthatstandsinyourway

POLARITYREVERSALEXERCISE:PHASE2VARIATION

TheGlobalPolarityReversalcorrectionremainsexactlythesame.

WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement: “I deeply and completely acceptmyself, evenwithallmyproblemsandlimitations.”KeepingPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwanttokeepthisdifficultyinbelievingmygoalstatement.”FuturePR.Whiletappingunderthenose:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifI will continue to have this difficulty in believing my goalstatement.”DeservingPR.Whiletappingunderthelowerlip:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIdon’tdeservetogetoverthisdisbelief.”SafetyPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifitisn’tsafeformetogetoverthisdisbelief.”Safetyofothers.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifitisn’tsafeforothersformetogetovermydisbelief.”PermissionPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifitisn’tpossible for me to get over my difficulty in believing in mystatement.”AllowingPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:

IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwillnotallow myself to get over this difficulty in believing my positivestatement.”NecessaryPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwillnotdowhatisnecessarytogetoverthisdisbelief.”BenefitofSelfPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifgettingoverthisdisbeliefwillnotbegoodforme.”BenefitofOthersPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifgettingoverthisdisbeliefwillnotbegoodforothers.”UniquePR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIhaveauniqueblocktogettingoverthisdisbelief.”

MoreAboutPhase3:ImaginingtheFutureNow

The central element of Phase 3 is the use of imagery to heighten thepositivethought.Itiswidelyunderstoodthatimageryisthelanguageoftheunconsciousmind.Thismethodof tappingonmeridian siteswhilevividlyandactivelyimaginingourgoalispowerful.Byholdinganimageinourmindsoftheprocessorendresultofourgoals,webelieveyouareprogrammingthebraintoacquiretheinformationandmaterialsneededtomakeourgoalsmaterialize.The best imagery encompassesmore than just visual cues.We havefoundfromourworkwithhypnosisthatguidedimageryismosteffectivewhenitutilizesasmanyofthefivesensesaspossible.Thebestimagery

is also active and includes an evocation of both the process throughwhich the accomplishment will occur and the end result, in themostpositivepossibleway.Performanceimageryfallsintotwodistinctcategories.Processimagery

isjustwhatthetermimplies,activelyimaginingyourselfgoingthroughthetaskoractivityinvolvedwithyourgoal.Ron,forexample,imaginedtheentireprocessofmakingaputt, feelinghimselfholding theputter,lininguptheputt.Ronmentallyimaginedtheseprocesssteps:

1. Lookingatthebreakandthegrainofthegreen2. Determiningtheamountofinclineordecline3. Gentlygrippingtheputterasiftherewereababybirdinhishands4. Visualizingalinethattheballwilltraveltorollintothehole5. Imagininghearingtheballdroppingintothehole

The process image for making a successful speech or presentationmight involve imagining yourself rehearsing comfortably feelingconfidentaboutyourmaterial,deliveringthepresentationsmoothlyandwith enthusiasm, seeing the audience respond positively, and evenapplauding or complimenting the presentation. This is what Ellen didearlierinthischapter.The effectiveness of process imagery has been demonstrated in a

number of areas. In one of the earliest of these experiments, BarbaraKolaneyofHunterCollegeaskedtwogroupsofpeopleeithertopracticemaking basketball free throws on a court with real basketballs or tospend an equal amount of time practicing mentally, just imaginingshooting the free throws. She discovered that the group imaginingshooting free throws did aswell as thosewho practiced on the court.There is no doubt that mental rehearsal enhances certain fine motorskillsandperformanceresults.Recentreviewsofoverahundredstudiesofmentalimageryhaveshownsignificantpositiveresultsinoverthree-fourthsofthestudies.ItisnotuncommontoseeOlympicskierswaitingtheir turn to compete, their eyes closed and their bodies shifting andswaying as they run through every turn of the slalom course in theirminds. Mental processes are excellent adjuncts to the development of

physicalcapabilities.Ofcourse,forimagingtechniquestowork,firstyoumust have learned the fundamentals of activities such as golf, tennis,billiards,skiing,snowboarding,orhittingabaseball.Thecombinationofphysicaltrainingandimageryispowerful.The flip side of process imagery is end result imagery,which focuses

intention past the event and on to the outcome. End result imagerymight include the audience’s applause after your speech, or imaginingthe tournament trophy that you win on a shelf in your living room.Imagining the end result of our efforts as if it has already occurredappears to program the goal-directing mechanisms in the brainresponsible for filtering information that is relevant to us. Thesemechanisms communicate with our body to enhance the learningprocessandinotherwaystocreatetheimaginedexperience.

ValidityofImagery(VOI)Scale

0Nobeliefintheimageryatall.1Abletoconsiderthepossibilityoftheimagerybeingreal.2Abletofeelsomehopethattheimagerycouldbereal.3Abletorelatetosomepriorexperiencethatsupportsthepossibilityofbelievingtheimageryisreal.4Thestatementhasagrainofrealitytotheimagery.5Thepositiveimagerybeginstofeelreal.6Abletoseethatthepositiveimageryalreadyhasbecomepartlytrue.7Theimageryfeelstruebuttherearesomereservationsordisclaimers.8Theimageryfeelsmostlyrealbutthereisstillsomedoubt.9Theimageryfeelsalmostcompletelyreal.10Theimageryfeelscompletelyreal—Ibelieveitwithoutadoubt.

During Phase 3, thewording of the polarity reversals is adjusted toreflect potential negative themes about our imagery. The VOI, or

ValidityofImageryscaletracksourlevelofbeliefinourmentalpictureaswemovetowarda+10.

POLARITYREVERSALEXERCISE:PHASE3VARIATION

Remembertorepeateachstatementthreetimes.TheGlobalPolarityReversalcorrectionremainsexactlythesame:

WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement: “I deeply and completely acceptmyself, evenwithallmyproblemsandlimitations.”KeepingPR.Whiletappingthesideofhandspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwanttokeepthisdifficultyinbelievingmyimagery.”FuturePR.Whiletappingunderthenose:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwillcontinuetohavethisdifficultyinbelievingmyimagery.”DeservingPR.Whiletappingunderthelip:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIdon’tdeservetogetoverthisdisbelief.”SafetyofSelfPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifitisnotsafeformetogetoverthisdisbelief.”SafetyofOthersPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifitisn’tsafeforothersformetogetovermydisbelief.”PermissionPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenif

itisn’tpossible for me to get over my difficulty in believing in myimagery.”AllowingPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot.IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwillnotallow myself to get over this difficulty in believing a positiveimage.”NecessaryPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwillnotdowhatisnecessarytogetoverthisdisbelief.”BenefitofSelfPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifgettingoverthisdisbeliefwillnotbegoodforme.”BenefitofOthersPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifgettingoverthisdisbeliefwillnotbegoodforothers.”UniquePR.Whiletappingthesideofhand:IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIhaveauniqueblocktogettingoverthisdisbelief.”

That, at long last, is thewhole story.Beforeweget to theprotocol,here’sonemoreanecdoteaboutusingESM,toshowyouhowKristicametobelievetheimpossible.

Seventeen-year-old Kristi was referred by her father, who was concerned about hermountingtestanxiety.Anattractiveandathletic4.0student,shewassoworriedaboutgetting good SAT scores that she was scoring poorly on the practice tests. Trying toexplainher current difficulty,Kristi said that she’d always gottenanxious before tests,andsometimesgotsicktoherstomachbeforeathleticevents.Butthistimeitwasmuchworse.Forthefirsttimeinherlife,Kristifoundherselfavoidingstudying,andlookingforexcusesnottoputinthehourssheknewwerenecessarytosucceed.Duringthetests,she

wouldreviseheranswerssomuchinanattempttomakethemperfectthatshewouldrunoutof time.Perhapsbecause theSAT testwas suchacrucial factor in getting into thecollegeshehopedtoattend,Kristifeltpushedbeyondhercopingabilities.“I’mjustnotuptoit,”shesaid.“Idon’tthinkI’massmartaseveryonethinksIam.”

IaskedKristiifshebelievedthat,beforesheleftmyoffice,shewouldlookforwardtotakingtests.Shegavemeoneofthoseexasperatedlooksthatteenagershaveperfectedfortheadultsintheirlives.“You’vegottobekidding,”shereplied.“It’snotpossible.”

AswebeganPhase1KristireportedthatherdistressabouttakingtheSATwasa9onthedistressscale.Afterhavingherbringtomindhernegativethoughtsaboutherselfaswe corrected for polarity reversals, while going through the sequence for anticipatoryanxiety,reliefshowedonherface,andherclenchedjawrelaxed.Thisgotherattention.Kristi may have been placating her father when she arrived, but now something hadchanged.Sheknew therehadalreadybeenan improvement.We finishedPhase1withonemoreTapSequence,toaddresstheprocrastinationthatwascreepingintoherstudyhabits.

Inthenextphase,wespentsometimehelpingKristicomeupwiththerightstatementtoexpresshergoal.Iaskedherwhatshewouldliketobelieveaboutherselfwithregardtotakingtests.“Well,itwouldbeprettyamazingifIcouldfeelthattakingtestswasfun,”she said. Apparently my earlier comment, and her growing confidence, invited her tochallengehowstrongapositivestatementshecouldmake.Sheacknowledgedthatatthemomentshewasnotdistressedoranxiousabout taking tests.Whynotmoveon to feelgoodaboutit?

The goal statement that Kristi arrived at was “I do well on tests and enjoy takingthem.”Atfirstsheratedherbeliefinthestatementasa+1ontheVOCscale.Whenweconcluded Phase 2, with the Polarity Reversal exercise and the Tap Sequence forperformance,shewasata+10.

In Phase 3 Kristi imagined taking tests in the future under many differentcircumstances,feelingcomfortableandconfident,enjoyingtheexperience,seeinghertestscores.Whenherdadcametopickherupsheannounced,“Youknow,Dad,I’mactuallylooking forward to taking the test onThursday.”Hewas shocked.Nowhe gaveme afunny look. I just shruggedmy shoulders. Severalweeks later he called to tellme thatKristihadincreasedherpracticeSATscoresby172points.

Theabilitytousethoughtstoimproveperformanceisnotnew.What’snewisinvolvingthebody’selectricalenergytoinstallandenhancethosethoughts, bringing about a powerful integration ofmind and body. In

many situations you will notice positive results immediately. As youapply the Optimizer Protocol to long-range situations or goals, workwiththemethoddailyforseveralweeksbeforeyouassessitssuccess.

THEOPTIMIZERPROTOCOL

Phase1

SUDS, while thinking about the blocks to achieving your goalBalancedBreathingexercisePolarity Reversal exercise,while holding inmind negative themesaboutyourselfApplyTapSequencesforthespecificemotionsinterferingwithyourgoal.Ifyourunintotrouble,youmightfirsttrytheBoosterPolarityReversals (page 258) or Comprehensive Tap Sequence in Protocol#5. If you still cannot reduce the SUDS, refer to the informationabout working with layered emotions in Chapter 6 and thetroubleshooting section of Chapter 8. Follow each Tap Sequencewith:BridgeRepeatTapSequenceRecheckSUDSEyeRoll

Phase2

Decideonapositivestatementthatclearlyexpressesyourgoal.Rate your level of belief in that statement using the VOC scale.(Page208.)Balanced Breathing. (This is optional if you are doing all threephasesinonesitting.)PolarityReversals.(Usethealternativeversionshownonpage209.)TapSequence:

Tapcontinuouslywhilestatingyourgoalthreetimesateachlocation.

BridgeRepeatTapSequence,asabove.RecheckVOC;ifit’sa+10,orifyouaresatisfiedwitha+8or+9atthisstage,moveto:EyeRoll.

Note:Ifyoubecomestuckandarenotabletogettothelevelyouwant,first apply theBoosterPolarityReversalsonpage258.Go through theTapSequenceagainwithyourpositivegoalstatements,thentheBridgeandtheTapSequencewithpositivegoalstatement.

Phase3

Bring tomind images of the process and result of achieving yourgoal.RateyourbeliefinyourimageryontheVOIscale.(Page212.)Balanced Breathing (This is optional if you are doing all threephasesinonesitting.)PolarityReversals(Usetheversiononpage212.)TapSequence:

Tap continuously for thirty seconds each while fully imagining theprocessandresultofachievingyourgoal.

Bridge

RepeatTapSequenceandimagery,asabove.CheckVOI;ifit’sa+10,orifyouaresatisfiedwitha+8or+9atthisstage,moveto:EyeRoll.

Note:Ifyoubecomestuckandarenotabletogettothelevelyouwant,apply theBoosterPolarityReversals onpage258.Go through theTapSequenceagainwithyourimageryinmind,thentheBridgeandtheTapSequencewithpositivegoalstatement.Youcanprolongthisthirdphaseorrepeatitasdesiredtoreinforceyourgoalstatement.

…………………

WishFulfillment

Willtheimprovementsthatwemakewithourgoal-settinglast?Inpartitcomes down to whether we are working with a single and specificincidentoralarge,ongoingissue.Ifourgoalhastodowithonetest,onebigdate,one trackmeet,oronespeech,one treatmentwill likely takecareofit.Forongoingissues—schoolingeneral,careergrowth,regularcompetition—wherethecircumstancesarelikelytobecomplicatedandvaried,youmayneedtoreap-plytheOptimizerProtocol.Sometimestheeffectwilllastuntilthereisachangeintheusualsituation:Wemoveupto a higher competition level, ormove to a jobwith a new companyEveniftheimprovementdoesnotlast,younowhavethetoolstoreap-plytheproceduresasneeded.Withgoal-settingissues,polarityreversalswillcropupfrequentlyandneedtobecorrected.Forexample,aspartofa regular “tune-up,” Ron (remember his golf improvement?) correctedfor polarity reversals every time he went out to play. Replaying theimageryofachievingyourgoalisanothergoodreinforcement.Eachtimeyouadminister theprotocol, youarebuildinga stronger foundationofself-confidence andmotivationunder that issue.You are crowding outthenegativebeliefs.The knowledge that we have tools to create positive change in our

lives is very empowering. When we have internalized a positivecognitionconsistentwithourgoalsandself-concept,webecomebetter

workers, better friends, and better parents.We are filledwith positiveintentions.Ourpersonalsenseofself-worthisgoodforeveryone.TheOptimizerProtocol just scratches the surface of the applications

thatwearediscoveringanddevelopingforESM.Wehopetoexpandonthis new direction for Emotional Self-Management in a future book.Enjoy your successes and remember that each experience can beappreciated and utilized as part of the learning process.Andhave funsharingthesemethodswithyourfriendsandfamily.

W

TWELVE

MaintainingEmotionalFitness

eareconfident thatbynowyouhavehadsomesuccesswith themethodspresentedinthisbook.Ifyouhavelearnedtheprocedures

well, you should be feeling less stressed and more confident in yourability to thinkclearlyabout the issues that comeup inyour life.Youwill have eliminatedormanaged the emotional distress that promptedyouto invest in thisbook.Perhaps for the first timeinyearsyouevenentertainanewvisionforyourfuture.But if you’re like most people, once you’re no longer in emotional

pain, youmove on to other pressing obligations or issues in your life.The unhappymemory fades, and life goes on. It’s just human nature.Although people generally seek pleasure andwant to avoid pain, theytend to be crisis-oriented. After careful and strenuous adherence to aprogram of healthful eating and exercise to reach their ideal weight,peoplefrequentlystopdoingwhateverworkedtoachievetheirgoal,andprettysoonthey’vegaineditallback.Couplesspendmonthsintherapyto learn how to work out problems with their partners. With newunderstanding,andusingtheirnewskills,lifeisagaincalmandhappyathome.Butthentheymayforgetwhattheylearnedaboutkindwordsandattentive listening, leaving the door open for conflict and criticism tocreepbackin.We’ve certainly learned a lot about human nature in our years of

clinicalpractice.We’veseenthatpeoplewillgotoextraordinarylengthstoalleviatetheirdevastatingemotionalpain.TheyarethrilledwiththerelieftheyexperiencethroughESM,hypnosis,EMDR,cognitive,orothertherapy approaches andwith the positive changes in their lives. Theyleave treatmentwithrenewedhope,withanewsenseofdirectionandnew skills to help them copewith life’s challenges. But without somelevel of distress tomotivate them,people tend toneglect, and then to

forget, thetools thathelpedthemovercometheirproblems. Ithappensall the time. They slowly slide into a state of stress or unhappiness,perhapsaboutsomenewissue.Butthey’reoutofshapeemotionallyandhaveonlyavagueideaabouthowtogetbackontrack.

BecomingFluentinESM

MaintenanceisacrucialcomponentofEmotionalSelf-Management.Likebrushingourteeth,it’snotterriblyentertainingorexciting,butitsavesusalotofunnecessarypainandinconvenienceinthelongrun.Justasregular dental visits stave off cavities, root canals, and even dentures,keeping up a regular schedule of ESM practice will maintain youremotionalwell-being.Thinkofitas“emotionalhygiene.”Weurgeyounottoputthisbookontheshelf,tobeconsultedonlyintheeventoffuturecrisis.IttakesbutafewminutesadaytoincorporateelementsofESMintoyourdailylife.Dailymaintenanceisthebestwaytopreventthebuildupofemotionaldistressandtoprovideyouwiththeclarity tomakedecisionsandsolveproblems.Whenyou feel calmandbalanced,youcanmakeoptimumuseofallyourpersonalresources.The more you practice ESM techniques, the easier and morecomfortable theywill seem,and themore confidenceyouwillhave inyour ability to use them tomaximum benefit. Itwon’t be long beforeyou will be able to administer some of the techniques without evenreferringtothebook.You’llalwayshavetheESMtoolsonhand.Perhapsthat’s already happening. When you become fluent in ESM, we areconfident that your success, and its noticeable benefits, will motivateyou to continue to utilize these skills in all areas of your life, withwhateverissuescomeup.

GregoryoriginallyusedESMtoeasethepainofhisgriefoverhisfather’sdeath,whenithadnotdiminishedafternearlythreeyears.“Ihadmylifeonhold,asifIexpectedhimto call me. I guess I never really accepted that he was dead,” he said. “It’s hard toexplain.What’sstrangeisthatnowthatI’velethimgo,Ithinkabouthiminnewways,sortoflikehe’sstillwithmeinasilent,internalway.”Beingablefinallytosaygood-byetohisfatherallowedGregoryonceagaintoconcentrateonhiswork,tobemoreattentivetohiswifeandtwodaughters,andtoplayandhavefun.

GregoryrecognizesthevalueofESMtechniquesformanyaspectsofhislife.HedoestheBalancedBreathingexerciseeachmorning,alongwiththeGlobalPolarityReversal,andadministers theRapidRelaxerbeforemakinghisweeklypresentationsatwork.Anavidtennisplayer,hefindsthatcorrectingforallpolarityreversalsbeforeamatchmakesabigdifference.Inshort,Gregoryfeelshehasthetoolsheneedstobettermanagehislife.

MakeItaHabit

Themostreliablewaytomakeaproductiveandbeneficialbehaviorpartofyour life is tomake itapartofaregularritual.This iswhatwedowithregardtobathing,takingourvitaminseachmorning,orexercising.Wemaintainourfriendshipswithweeklyphonecallsorperiodiclunchdates. Sunday dinners are family rituals; children come to count onnightlybedtimestories.A regular program of ESM keeps your emotional life in tune.Whenyoubalanceyourenergyonaregularbasis,itdoesnotmeanyouneverget angry, anxious, or sad. Itmeans youmove through those emotions,gatheringwhatyouneedtolearnandthenlettinggo.Youlearntocheckinwithyourselfonaregularbasis,toseewhatyou’refeeling.Youlearntoevaluatewhetheryouneedtoaddressyourstressorquellthebuildupofangeror fear.Thecheck-in is likea smokedetector,alertingyou toearlysignalsoftroublebrewing.The following box provides a suggested schedule of regular ESMpractice. Itconsistsofasimpledaily tune-upandaweeklycheck-in. Itassumes that you have administered the appropriate protocols for anyemotional distress and that you are free of emotional turmoil. Thepurpose of the regular ESM maintenance program is to help youmaintainasenseofbalanceandclarity.Sometypesofemotionaldistressarelikelytorequiremoreaggressivefollow-up. Habits and compulsive urges, for example, have a built-inrecurrencefactor.Systemicstresses likechronicpainandthehormonalcyclesassociatedwithPMSneedregulartreatment.Ongoingstresseslikegrieforloneliness,orfrustrationwithacriticalboss,oftencallformoreaggressivemanagement.FollowingthisgeneralmaintenancescheduleistheSix-WeekStabilizerprogramformorecomplexsituations.

DailyTune-Up

DailyTune-Up

Onceeachday,dothetwo-minuteBalancedBreathingexercise,tocenteryourthoughts,balanceyourjudgment,andactivateyourcreativemind.Follow up by aligning your body’s polarity Administer the GlobalPolarity Reversal, rubbing the Chest spot while thinking about self-acceptanceand repeating three times: “I deeply and completely acceptmyself even with all my problems, limitations, and frustrations.”TheGlobalPolarityReversalhelpstomaintainfocusandclarityaboutone’slife and promotes an overall sense of self-acceptance. Youmay noticethatyouareapttotakeyourselflessseriouslyandfeellighterabouttheworld in some small or big ways after the Global Polarity Reversalcorrection. Do it as often as you like, for a well-being buildup. TheGlobal Polarity Reversal can be done anywhere; to most observers itwouldappearthatyouweremassaginganachymuscle.Youcansaythestatementsilentlytoyourself,orimaginethewordsbeingwrittenout.

MaintainingBalanceandClaritywithESM

DailyTune-Up: BalancedBreathing(2minutes)

GlobalPolarityReversal(15seconds)

WeeklyCheck-in: CorrectforallPolarityReversals

(3minutes)

Tunein;checkSUDS(1minute);

ifneeded,addressanytroublingissues

orfeelingswithfullprotocol

AlwaysonHand: TheRapidRelaxer

TheOptimizer

MakeUseof:TheOptimizer

You can perform this daily tune-up in bed before arising, in youroffice, in an easy chair, or while sitting in your car. Try to do it atregulartimeseachday,inaquietspot.

WeeklyCheck-in

To make sure that there are no hidden saboteurs of your emotionalstability, take a few minutes once a week to do the full PolarityReversals exercise (page 255). Focus on any challenge or currentstruggleas“theproblem”intheintentionstatements.Evenifyou’renotawareofanydistress, it isstillgoodpractice totakeaquietminutetotune in to your feelings, to catch any emotional problems before theybecometroublingordistracting.Checkthedistresslevelofanyemotionsthat come up, and, if needed, administer the full protocol for theproblem.

TheRapidRelaxerIsAlwaysonHand

Don’t forget the secretweapon of ESM.You can use theRapidRelaxer(page257),anywhereandanytime,tocutyourdistress level inhalf injust thirty seconds. This quick fix comes in handy for the day-to-daystressesthatcomeuporwhenyoudon’thavethetimeoropportunitytoadminister a full treatment.Remember that theRapidRelaxer’s effectsaretemporary—theylastabouthalfanhourtoanhour—anditprovidessymptomatic relief, not a longer-lasting therapeutic solution. For evengreaterreliefhowever,youcanrepeatit.Areyougettingnervousasyougetreadytogoouttoacompanyfunction?Areyoustillwindingdownwhen you arrive home from work to face the demands of your threeyoungkids?Didyoujustrear-endthecarinfrontofyou?Whileyou’rewaiting for the highway patrolman to write up his report, it’s RapidRelaxertime.DoingtheRapidRelaxercanmakeabigdifferenceinapinch.It’slikefixing a rip in the seat of your pantswith a quick rowof stitching. Itprobablywon’t last,andyou’llhavetorepair itproperlywhenyouget

home.Butmeanwhile,itsavestheday.Werecommendthatyoulearnitbyheart, soyoucanadminister thisemotional firstaidatany time.Agood way to remember it is to think of it as a Bridge sandwichedbetween two Eye Rolls. To refresh your memory, refer to page 257.Repeatthisprocedureasoftenasyoulike,asmanytimesasyouneed.

MakeUseoftheOptimizer

Youcan further enhanceyour emotionalwell-beingbymaking regularuseof theOptimizerprocedures.With a solid foundationof emotionalstability, you’ll beable todevotemore timeandenergy to thinking intermsofyourpersonalgoals,dreams,andobjectives.Justwhatisitthatyouwouldliketodo?Canyouenvisionapromotion?Wouldyouliketoimproveyourinvestmentstrategies?RunforPTApresident?Doyoufeelready to take up the tuba? Learn to tell stories or be a betterconversationalist?BecreativeinusingtheOptimizerProtocol.Therearemany areas where the Optimizer can improve the quality andsatisfactioninourlives.Asaregularpractice,spendfiveminutesadaydoingthisstreamlined

versionoftheOptimizer.

DURINGYOURWEEKLYCHECK-IN:

1.Identifyagoalthatyouwanttoworkon,andcomeupwithapositivestatement that expresses that goal. You may want to refer to “Fine-TuningthePositiveStatement”onpage204forguidance.

DAILY:

2.DotheGlobalPolarityReversal.3. Follow it with the Tap Sequence Eyebrow, Under Nose, Under Lip,MiddleFingernailasyoumakeyourpositivegoalstatementthreetimesateachsite,whiletappingcontinuously.4.Vividlyimagineyourselfgoingthroughtheprocessofachievingyourgoal, using the Tap Sequence Under Arm, Eyebrow, Under Lip,

continuouslytappingateachsiteforaboutthirtyseconds.5.FinishwiththeEyeRoll.Stay with this process until you have achieved whatever you

envisioned. Then devise another goal statement, perhaps related toanotheraspectoftheoriginalsituation,andcontinueasbefore.

Note: If you do not notice an increase in your feeling of belief in thepositivestatement(VOC)orintheimagery(VOI),returntoChapter11and administer the complete version of the Optimizer. This abridgedversionisintendedasareinforcementandmaynotbeeffectiveifyou’reworkingonatotallynewareaortopic.

TheSix-WeekStabilizerProgramforManagingChronicandOngoingStress

If your original problem returns or if the source of your distress is anongoing stress thatwon’t just go awaywith one ESM treatment,whatcan’t be banished must be managed. The Six-Week Stabilizer is amaintenanceprogramfortenaciousrecurrentorongoingstresses.

DAILY:

1. 1.BalancedBreathing.2. Administer the Global Polarity Reversal ten times a day for sixweeks. This means taking fifteen seconds every hour to rub theChest spot while repeating three times: “I deeply and completelyacceptmyself,evenwithmyproblemsandlimitations.”

3. The full polarity reversal exercise. Name the issue as you do thereversals:“IdeeplyandcompletelyacceptmyselfevenifInevergetoverthecompulsiontoshop,”or“…evenif Idon’tdeservetogetoverthispain,”“…evenifIwillcontinuetobelonely,”or“…evenifit’snotpossibletolosethisweight.”

WEEKLY:

Once a week, as part of your weekly check-in, administer the fullprotocol for your problem. Write down the SUDS level as a way oftrackingyourprogressfromweektoweek.

Inmostcases,theSix-WeekStabilizerwillleadtoacompleteresolutionoftheproblem.Byusingthisprogramtostayaheadofthestresscurve,the correctionwill hold and becomepermanent after about sixweeks.Thereafter, you may be fine with just the standard maintenanceschedule,aslongasyoucheckinperiodicallytoseehowyou’redoing.Thissix-weekmaintenanceprogramwasanimportantingredientoftheprogramDonna fromChapter7used toknockoutherpastryhabit.Ofcourse,ifatanypointyoufeelthatthehabitualbehaviorisgettingoutof hand, do whatever it takes— twice-daily administration of thecomplete Polarity Reversals exercise, daily application of the fullprotocol—tobringyourdistressbackundercontrol.

WhoNeedstheSix-WeekStabilizer?

Most of the ongoing stresses addressed by the Six-Week Stabilizer fallintofourcategories:habitsandcompulsiveoraddictiveurges;painandchronicphysiologicalsymptoms;ongoingstressandproblemsrelatedtothefuture;andongoingaggravations.

HabitsandCompulsiveorAddictiveUrges

The Six-Week Stabilizer program is always indicated when the targetproblemisanaddictiveorcompulsiveurgeforsuchthingsascigarettes,food,nail-biting,shopping,orgambling.Theeffectofadministeringthefullprotocolforthefirsttimemaylastanywherefromafewhourstoafewdays.Becausethetriggerforthebehaviorisstillpresent,orbecausethe addictive substance itself is toxic to the body the urge is likely tocome back sooner or later. Substances such as nicotine, caffeine, orrefined sugar are powerful triggers for polarity reversals, and regularretreatmentwiththefullprotocolisoftennecessary.

PainandChronicPhysiologicalSymptoms

Emotional distress associated with physical discomfort or pain mayreturn even after a successful ESM treatment. It is possible that thephysical source of discomfort generates polarity reversals thatunderminetheeffectof theTapSequence.Other factorsspecific to thephysicalnatureofthepainalsomaynecessitateperiodicretreatment.Many times the Six-Week Stabilizer is successful in lowering thefrequencyand intensityof chronicpain sensations.While it isunlikelythatthelevelofmiseryexperiencedbeforeESMtreatmentwillreturninfull force, it helps to catch thedistress at its earliest stage.As soonasyounoticeyourdistress levelbeginningto increaseasaresultofsomechronic pain or ongoing physical discomfort, readminister the fullprotocolforpain.ReapplyingtheTapSequencewillbringameasureofrelief,andthesequencecanberepeatedasoftenasneeded.Rememberthat ESM may not eliminate all physical discomfort with pain. Thetreatment objective is to minimize or neutralize the emotional miseryandsufferingthataccompanypain.

OngoingStressandProblemsRelatedtotheFuture

Loneliness,guilt,grief,andjealousymaybewovenintothefabricofourdays.Fearsandanxietiesaboutthefuturecankeepusintheirclutchesuntil the dreaded event or situation is past. You probably haveexperiencedsomerelieffromtheseissueswiththeadministrationofthespecificESMprotocol,whichcanbereappliedatanytimeifneeded.Iftheemotionresurfaces,itisunlikelytobeasstrongasitwasatfirst,anditsintensitywilldiminishwitheachtreatment.Butwithaproblemthatiseverpresent,thebestwaytogetlastingreliefistocommittotheSix-WeekStabilizerprogram.

YoumayrecallKathywhowasanxiousaboutabusinessventureasshewasgrievingtherecentdeathofherson.Forher,emotionalmanagementincludedtheSix-WeekStabilizerprogram. The loss of her relationship with her boyfriend left a void in her social life,whichmeantgettingbackintotheswingofdatingagain.KathyusedtheESMprotocolforanxiety to help her feel more calm and composed on first dates (and especially, shereported, on thirddates). Shealso found thatdoing theBalancedBreathingagain justbeforegoingtosleephelpedherenjoyarestfulnight.

ButwhatreallymadethedifferenceforKathywaswhenshecommittedtodoingthe

GlobalPolarityReversalatleasttentimesdailyforsixweeks.“Ifoughtitatfirst,”Kathysays.“Doingsomethingeveryhourseemedlikealottoask.ButthenIrealizedthatmosttimesIdiditIfeltmorecalmandfocused.Nowthechangeseemspermanent,althoughIstilldoitseveraltimesaday,becauseitfeelsgood.”

OngoingAggravations

Sometimes emotional upheaval persists because of an ongoingprovocation. Continued aggravations such as a dictatorial boss, aconstantlycomplainingcoworker,recurringfrustrationswiththekids,ornoisyneighborsmayneedaspecialprogram.Thebestapproachforthistypeofongoingproblem,inadditiontothe

Six-WeekStabilizer, is touse theOptimizerprocess to focuson a goalrelatedtosolvingtheproblem.TheperformanceenhancementsequencesofPhase2andPhase3particularlycanhelpyoumovetoahigherlevelofeffectivenessindealingwithanongoingchallenge.YoumaywanttoreferbacktoChapter11torefreshyourmemoryabouthowtoapplythefullOptimizertreatment,oryoucanusethestreamlinedversionshownearlierinthischapter.Theideaistolookathowyoumightapplygoal-settingtechniquesto

themanagementofyoursituation.Jonathan,who,youmayrecall,washorriblydisfiguredinamugging,usesOptimizerskillstomanageseveralaspectsofhissituation.

Jonathan faced many ongoing challenges, after having experienced tremendous relieffrom his emotional distress with the initial ESM procedure. Not surprisingly, he wasfrequentlyembroiledinstruggleswithhisinsurancecompany,asitrepeatedlyquestionedhis claims in its desire to minimize its expenditures in his behalf. He could alwaysanticipatedelaysinprovidingauthorizationsandreimbursements.

Jonathanfoundthathewasabletomanagethesesituationsmoreeffectivelywhenheapplied the Optimizer methods. His goal statement was “I am patient, calm, and Ipersevereagainstinstitutionalfrustration.”

In addition to installing that positive cognition, Jonathan also used the Phase 3imagery to instill active images of himself remaining calm and making reasonedargumentsonhisownbehalfHeenvisionedhissuccessatgettingfullyreimbursed,findingchecksinhismailbox,andhearingtheinsuranceclaimsadjusteragreetohisclaims.He

foundthatbyreinforcingthisprocesswithafour-orfive-minutesessioneachday,hewasable tomaintaina veryhigh level of patienceand equilibrium in the face of recurringfrustrations.

TrackingYourProgress

Youmayfindithelpful,aspartofyourdailyorweeklypractice,tokeepsome kind of log of your experienceswith ESM. Keep a record of thefeelingsthatcomeupandthecircumstancesthatprovokedthem.Makeanote of which Tap Sequence you used. Write down what the distresslevel was at the beginning and how you felt at the conclusion. Evensimplenotationswillhelpyoukeeptrackofyourprogress,sothatyoucan see what processes were especially helpful and how you handledcertainissues.Makenoteofyoursuccessesandgoodfeelingstoremindyourselfthatyourhardworkispayingoff.

Anna’sPMSmood swingshadbecome sodebilitating that shehad recently resorted toantidepressantmedication.Evenso,sheprettymuchisolatedherselffornearlytwoweekseachmonth,inordertostaveoffconfrontationswithfriends,family,andcoworkers.Noboyfriendcouldwithstandhermoodinessformorethanafewmonths.Beforecomingtosee us, Anna had tried cognitive therapy, hypnosis, and group therapy in addition toprescriptionmedication.Shewasresignedtofeelingaloneandmiserableagooddealofthetime.

ForAnna,thePolarityReversalexercisewasamajorbreakthrough.Justcorrectingforreversals improved her mood and her outlook. Her negativity and irritability abatedalmostimmediately,andshewasabletoacknowledgesomeofthepositiveaspectsofherlifeforthefirsttimeinyears.Shehadagoodjobandwasvaluedbyhersupervisor.Shehadfriendswhounderstoodandacceptedher,andknewwhentoleaveheralone.

Annaessentially followedtheSix-WeekStabilizerprogram,butmade itapractice tocorrect forallpolarityreversals three timesdailywith the focusorproblemtargeted inthe statements as “my PMS symptoms.” The ability tomake these corrections enabledAnnatomanageherextrememoodsandgaveherafeelingofcontroloverherlifeafteryearsoffeelingatthemercyofhermonthlycycles.

Keepingalogofhermoods,hersymptoms,andtheproceduressheusedtotreatherselfwas amajor factor in Anna’s progress. She tracked the pattern of hermonthlymoodswings, noting each time she did the polarity reversals, when she used Balanced

Breathing, andwhen the Rapid Relaxer came in handy. She found out when itmadesense to administer a full treatment for the intense emotions that sometimes came up.Overaperiodofseveralmonths,AnnalearnedjustwhatworkedforherandwhentouseeachESMtechnique.Anditwastherecordofherfeelingsandtreatments thatenabledAnnatoseetheprogressshewasmaking.Thisclearpictureofthegainsshewasmakinggavehertheimpetustocontinue.Attimeswhenshewasmostdiscouragedandirritable,Annamadeitapointtoreviewherlogandremindherselfoutloud,“Thisisworkingforme.”

TheBuddySystem:SharingESMwithFriendsandFamily

Ifyouexerciseregularly,youalreadymayrecognizethevalueofhavinganexercisebuddy.Havingsomeonewithwhomyouregularlyworkoutprovides motivation and structure, to ensure that you stay on yourprogram.Anexercisebuddysharesourstrugglesandtriumphs.Buddiesencourageus—ormotivateuswithguilt—intostayingthecoursewhenwe are feeling tired or lazy. An ideal way tomake themost of whatEmotionalSelf-Managementoffersistohaveafriendorfamilymemberwhousesitalso.Thefirststepistointroducepotentialbuddies—yourfriendsorfamily

members—toESM.Lettingothersknowwhathelpedyouisagoodplacetobegin.Theprocessofpositiveattractionisthebestenticement.Allowyourownpositiveoutcomesandnewfoundsenseofwell-beingtoattractothers. Begin by demonstrating basic procedures, like BalancedBreathingand theRapidRelaxer.Asothersexperiencepositive results,theynaturallywillbeinclinedtoaskyoutosharemorewiththem.ChoosinganappropriatetimetointroduceESMisespeciallyimportant

whenitcomestosuggestingtoaspouseorpartnerthatESMmightworkfor them. Ifyou’ve justhadanargumentwithyourpartner,andheorsheisobviouslyangryit’sgenerallynotagoodtimetosayyouhavethesolutiontohisorherdistress.Peoplearelikelytobedefensiveatsuchtimes,andtheyarenotgoingtorespondpositively toyoursuggestion.It’s best towait for a timewhen there is no reason for them to rejectyoursuggestion,whichmeansatimewhenyoudon’thaveanythingtogain or win in the transaction. The right occasion may present itself

whenyouseethattheyareupsetwithsomeoneelseorwithasituationatwork.IntroducingtheBalancedBreathingexerciseatsuchamomentmay help with their distress and to convince them of how well ESMworks.ThemosteffectivewaytoteachESMtoothersissimplytomodelthe

exercisesasyoudothemtogether.NowthatyouhavedonetheworkoflearningESMproceduresbyfollowingtheinstructionsinthisbook,youcaneasilydemonstratethepositionfortheBalancedBreathingexercise,or the tapping techniques. As you do the exercises, say the intentionstatements alongwith your friend, partner, or teenager. The first timeyoushowanexercisetoothers,paycarefulattentiontobesurethattheyare doing it correctly. Are they tapping firmly enough, and not tooslowly? Are they repeating each statement three times? You can helpaspiringESMbuddiestotracetheeyemovementsbyhavingthemfollowthemovementsofyourhandasyoushowthemtheBridgeandEyeRoll.Bytalkingwiththem,youmaybeabletohelpthemdeterminewhatistroublingthemandchoosetheappropriatetreatmentprotocol.ESMbuddiescanworktogethertosupportandencourageeachother

inmanyways,asJayandDanielle’sstoryshows:

“WhenwecametoyourESMworkshop,wewerehavingallkindsofproblems,”Jaytoldus on the phone several months later. “Danielle was dealing with her sister’s breastcancer,whichwasbringinguplong-standinganimositiesamongthefoursisters.Iwasjustswampedwithwork.Wewereexpandingourhardwarestoretonearlytripleitsoriginalsize.Our separate problemswere spilling over intoourmarriage, andweweremakingthingsworseforeachother,insteadofbeingsupportive.”

Duringtheworkshop,inadditiontolearningalltheESMprocedures,JayandDanielleusedESMtreatmentprotocolstotreattheirspecificemotionaldilemmas.Bythetimetheyleft, theywere already feelingmuch calmer and felt that they had tools to help themmaintaintheirequilibrium.Inadditiontothestandardmaintenance,DanielledidtheSix-Week Stabilizer to address her ongoing anger and frustration with her sisters. Jayfollowedthestandardmaintenanceprogramandworkeddailywith thegoalstatementsandimagerycomponentsoftheOptimizerProtocoltohelphimmoveforwardthroughthechallengesofhisbusinessexpansion.Bothreportedthatwhathelpedthemmostwastheencouragementeachprovidedfortheother.TheygotintothehabitofdoingtheBalancedBreathingexerciseand theGlobalPolarityReversal togetherwhen theygot intobedat

night. They did their weekly check-ins together, which they felt kept them tuned in towhatwasgoingonineachother’semotionallife.Ifoneofthemneededtogothroughatreatmentprotocol,theothercoachedthemthroughit.

“If Jaynoticed that Iwas forgetting todo theGPRcorrection,he’dmakea circularmotion on his own Chest spot to remindme,” Danielle reported. “I felt he was reallylookingoutforme.IdothesamethingwhenInoticethathedoesn’tseemtobekeepingupwithhisgoal-settingexercise.”

“Ourproblemshavenotdisappeared,” Jay says. “Jan’s sister is still recovering fromsurgery and chemotherapy, and I’m still working far toomuch, though I’m developingnewstrategiesandcanseethatthingswillchangeverysoon.Butwearesomuchcalmernow,andwefeelmoresupportedbyeachother.There’snomoreblameorcriticism.JanhastaughtallhersisterstouseESM,andit’sbeenamajorhelpintheirrelationshipswitheachother.Ihaven’tconvincedmycoworkerstotryityet,buttheycanseethedifferenceinmyattitudeandenergy.Ifigureit’sonlyamatteroftime.”

As you follow one of these suggested maintenance programs andbecomemore familiar with the ESM practices, we hope youwill gainenoughconfidence inyourESMskills tocustomizeyourownprogram.Youcantailoryourpersonalemotionalhygieneprogramtoreflectyourownemotional challengesandyourown scheduleand lifestyle, and totakeadvantageoftheESMpracticesthathaveworkedbestforyou.

T

THIRTEEN

TeachtheChildrenWell

UsingESMwithKids

he joyofparenting is inevitably leavenedwithameasureofworryand sorrow. It is heartbreaking when we cannot console a crying

infant.Seeingourchildreninemotionalturmoil,astheytrytocopewiththe predictable stresses of growth and development, can be as painfulandconfusingforusasforthem.Itcanbetaxingtotrytomakesenseofadolescents’ struggles, especiallywhen they seemdetermined toblameusfortheirangerandpain.Challengeandheartachearepartandparcelofparenthood.The good news is that ESM techniques can work wonders with

childrenofallages,fromaweek-oldinfanttoaworld-wearyteenager.Itiswonderful tobeable to sootheahysterical infant, tohelpa second-gradergetoverherfearofwalkingtoschool,ortoteachateenagerhowtouseESMtostaycalmforafinalexam.ESMtoolsareaboonnotonlyforparentsbutforteachersandchildcareproviders.The individual’s level of cognitive and emotional development

determinesthewayinwhichESMtreatmentsareapplied.Theyoungerthechild,themoreelementarytheemotionaldisturbance,andthusthesimplerthetechniquethatwillrestorecalm.Withinfantsandbabies,theusual treatment is for theparent to administer a variant of theGlobalPolarityReversal,tappingonthesideofthebaby’shandwhileholdingherintheirarms.Withgrade-schoolers,apolaritydisturbanceisstillattherootofmost

distresses.Ofcourse,whileyoungchildrentendtobelesscomplexthanadults in terms of the level of their emotional disturbance, they alsohavefewersocialskillstocontaintheirdistressortoself-soothe.Itisupto theparent todiagnoseand treat theproblem. In somecases,where

specific fears ormal-adaptive patterns have developed, the parent canadminister a full protocol, doing the tapping and saying the intentionstatementsforthechild.Adolescentsareatthemercyofafullcomplementofhormone-fueledemotionsandavastarrayofsocialpressuresanddecisions.Despitetheirstruggles with authority, teenagers can be taught how to use ESMtechniquesforthemselves.Kidswho’vebeenexposedtoESM,withtheirparents tapping for them,usually are eager tomoveon todoing it ontheirown.

UnderstandingYourChild’sFeeling

Part of the process of socialization is to teach our children how tomanagetheirfeelingsandimpulsesinawaythatfosterscooperationandgoodrelationshipswithothersinthefamilyandbeyond.Inyourroleasparent,youteachyourchildhowtocopewithhisfeelings.Youbecomeattuned towhatyour child is feelingandwhatwillhelp to relievehisdistress.Will talkingaboutwhat’swronghelphimto feelbetter?Doesshe need to be cuddled first? Is distracting her by making cupcakestogether thebestwaytosootheher feelings?Shouldshebescoldedorreprimanded?Shouldyouwithholdherallowance?Orimposeacurfew?EmotionalSelf-Managementasappliedtochildrenisnotmeanttobeasubstitute for talking with your child about ways to deal with angryfeelings, or how to overcome fear of losing a toy, or frustration abouthaving to share itwithotherkids.Childrenneeddirectguidance fromcaringadultstounderstandwhattheyarefeelingandtodevelophealthyhabitsandproductivewaystorespondtopowerfulemotions.It isbeyondthescopeof thisbook todiscusshowtohandlespecificemotionalproblemswithchildren.Everychildisunique.Everyfamilyisdifferent.Wedowanttopointoutthatwherethereareproblemsinthefamily,itisunlikelythatthechildcanbehelpedunlesstheparentsfirstdealwiththeirownemotionaldistress.Thebestwayforparentstoteachtheir children to manage their emotions is to model constructivebehaviorsforthem.Infamilieswithdysfunctionalpatterns, theparentsare struggling themselvesandcan’t lookbeyond theirownconcerns toseewhatisnecessarytocorrectthesystem.Theyneedprofessionalhelp

toresolvetheirownproblemssotheycanhelptheirchildren.Also,whena child’s problem is severe, either emotionally or behaviorally, consultationshouldbesoughtwithaqualifiedmedicalormentalhealthprofessional.Inthemajorityofsituations,ESMtechniquescanrelieveayoungster’sstress.Themost frequentuse forESMwithchildren is to treatpolarityreversals,whichifnotcorrectedhavetheeffectofdestabilizingachild’scomposure. But these techniques also are helpful for breaking upbehavior patterns before they cause trouble. These patterns makethemselvesknownwhenyouseethatnaturalcorrectivemechanismsarenot kicking in, and your child is not able to work his way throughdisturbing emotional states. He doesn’t calm down from the tantrum.She never figures out away tomake friends or to get alongwith herolder sister.Hecannot finda solution tohisdistressandkeepshavingthesameproblemoverandover.Havingthesetoolskeepsstressesfrombuildinguptothepointwherethe child becomes trapped in an emotional loop that she can’t quicklybreakoutof.Theprocedurescanniphabitsinthebudthat,unchecked,mightcarryintolargerandmorecomplexproblemsinadulthood.Oftensimplycorrecting the reversalswill cutachild’s stressconsiderably, sothat she cancalmdownenough to think through the situation, to talkabout itmore calmly, and to correct it. Because the complexity of theissuesandthetreatmentdifferbyage,wehavebrokenthediscussionofusingESMintothreestages:usingESMwithinfantsandtoddlers,gradeschool–agechildren,andadolescents.

InfantsandToddlers

Ithappenstoeveryparent.Theirdarlingbabyiscooingandhappyoneminute,andthenextheisfussingandagitated.Heisn’twetorhungryor tired. Talking or cuddling or playing hismusic box or twirling themobileabovethecribdoesn’tworktodistractorsoothehim.Sometimesthereseemsnowaytopull thechildoutofhisstate,andthecriesareheartbreaking.It can be very distressing for parents to see their child shift from alovingbundleofjoytoanorneryandobstinatebundleofagitation.Themost common explanation, when there is no apparent provocation, is

thatthechildhasexperiencedasuddenpolarityreversal.Thesereversalsseem to appear “out of thin air.” Sometimes the squall passes over asquicklyasitarrived;othertimesitgoesonforhours,whiletheparentsfretandgoa littlemadthemselves.Rememberthatwecanbeaffectedby the polarity reversals or disorganization of others—our childrenincluded—withwhomweareincloseorfrequentcontact.It isalsotruethatchildreneventuallygetpasttheirupsettingmoods

naturally. Like adults, they have their own self-correcting polarity kitbuiltin.It’sunusualforachild’sbadmoodortantrumtolastmorethanafew

hours,letalonefordays.Butitdoesseemthataschildrengetolder,andmove frombeing infants to toddlers to preschoolers, theymay sustainlonger periods of down moods. When negative response patterns getestablished, theymay develop intomore seriousmood swings later inlife.ESMcanbeusedtotreatthesemoodsbeforetheygoontoolong.

MiguelandLilycametotheofficebecauseeighteen-month-oldJavierrecentlyhadbegunhavinguncontrollabletantrums.Oneminutehewassweetandpleasant,andthenexthewasascreamingterror,cryingandinconsolable.Thereseemedtobenoexplanation—hewasn’t hungryor in pain; hewasn’t even tired.Nothing they could thinkof seemed tostopthetantrums.Whenhewasinthisagitatedstate,hekickedthesidesofhiscribandthrewhis toys and struggledwhen they pickedhimupor huggedhim.As soonas onedemandwas fulfilled, he’dmake a newone. Lilywas at the point of throwing up herhandsatJavier’stantrums.TheymadeMiguelangry.

MiguelandLilylefttheofficeaftersometutoringandwithinstructionsonhowtouseESMwithJavier,who,predictably,hadbeencalmandcomposedduringourvisit.Thatsame evening, when Javier went ballistic, they tried the treatment, which basicallyinvolved tapping, gently but firmly, on the side of his hand while saying “I love you,Javier,evenwhenyouareangryandupset.”Itworkedimmediately.Javiercalmeddownrightaway;histearsstoppedandhebecame“reasonable”onceagain,andtheywereabletodistracthimwithoneofhispulltoys—all inthespaceofabouttwominutes.Migueland Lily reported that the treatment didn’t always work, but most of the time it wassuccessful in shortcircuiting Javier’s tantrums, and the frequency and duration of newepisodesdiminished.

ADMINISTERINGTHEREVERSALREMEDY

Tocorrectaninfantoryoungchild’spolarityreversal,holdthechildinyourarms.Gentlybutfirmlytapthetreatmentpointonthesideofthehand while saying three times, “I totally love you, honey [or child’sname], evenwhen you’re feeling thisway.”With infants less than sixmonths old, you do not even need to make the statement. Simplytapping the side-of-hand spot (see page 146 for a refresher on thelocation)maybesufficient.Oftenithelpstostrokethebackofthechild’shandasyoutapthesideof the hand. If the child tries to pull away, do not hold the hand byforce.Ifthechildisresistant,itwillbebettertowaitforaminuteandthentryagain.As you know from earlier discussions, there is nothing absolute orfixed about the statements you use. It is the theme or intention thatmatters,notthespecificwordsusedtoconveyit.Anymessageoflovingintentiondirectedatthechildtunesthethoughtenergyfieldrelatedtoloveandself-acceptance.Webelievethatwhenalovingparentorcaringadultcreatesathoughtfieldrelatedtothechild,theadult’sthoughtfieldencompasses and affects the child. Making the statements aloud alsofocusesthechild’sthoughts.

GrowingPains

The trajectory of emotional development in the early years of life isnothingshortofbreathtaking. Infants fromdayoneareabletoexpresstheirpainanddiscomfort,theirfrustrationorcontentment,theirhungerorthirst,withavarietyofcoosandcriesandfacialexpressions.Bythetimetheyaresixmonthsold,babiescanregisterangerorfrightorgleeorexcitement.Bythetimetheyaretwo,youngchildrenexhibitguiltorjealousy,impatienceorstubbornness.As the child’s emotional range broadens, it helps to identify exactlywhat emotion the child is feeling, even if he cannot name it exactlyInfantsandtoddlersarealwaysinthepresentmoment.Youcanbesurethatwhatever is causing their distress is foremost in theirminds. Youneverneed toprompt toddlers to“tune in” towhat isbothering them,because they are constantly “in the now.” But it is helpful if you canlabel your child’s emotion accurately, so that your intention statement

trulymirrorswhatthechildisfeeling.If you know the child is feeling frustrated, say “I completely and

totally loveyou,darling, evenwhenyouare frustrated.” If it is anger,thenthestatementis“…evenwhenyouareangry.”Ifthechildseemstobethrowingagenerictantrumandthereisnospecificemotiontopiniton,say“Iloveyoualways,evenwhenyouareupset,”or“Ideeplyloveyou, evenwhen you are feeling this way.” Also, singing the intentionstatements, or saying them in a singsong voice, is especially soothingwithinfantsandtoddlers.Itisalwaysbestifyoucanembraceorholdthechildatthetimeyou

administer the treatment. Sometimes it is more convenient for oneperson to hold the child while another person, even an older sibling,does the tapping. The child may be distracted momentarily by yourwords and tapping. But most of the time he’ll be so absorbed in hisemotionalstatethathewillbarelynoticewhatyouaredoing.AfteryouadministertheReversalRemedy,letthechildaloneforamomentortwoand watch for him to become calmer. Then you can proceed withdistractionorplayorwhateverelseyouthinkmightbehelpful.Often the results are surprising.More thanhalf the time, the child’s

moodwillchangefromdistresstocalminlessthanaminute.Butdon’tbecomediscouraged if it doesn’twork the first time.Recognize that itdoesn’tneedtobeeffective100percentof thetimefor it tobeuseful.It’s nice to know that you have another tool to help you and yourchildren.

MarciandVincent’sdaughterKimmywasjustassweetascanbe—untilsheturnedthree,when she began having fits of whining almost every other day, talking back to herparents, refusing to eat food they knew she loved, taunting her nine-year-old brother.Whenaftertenminutes,andsometimesaslongashalfanhour,shewouldn’tcalmdown,Vincentwouldsendher toherroomfora“time-out.” It seldomworked.Kimmywouldbecomeevenmorehysterical,and she’dadd foot-stompingandpiercing screams toherrepertoire.

We taughtMarcihowtoapply theReversalRemedy.ShebeganbyholdingKimmy’ssmallhandgentlyinherownandstrokingherdaughter’sforeheadwiththeotherhand.TappinggentlyonthesideofKimmy’shand,Marcisoftlyrepeated,“Iloveyou,Kimmy,even when you’re upset.” She repeated the phrase a few times and continued holding

Kimmyuntilshepulledherhandawayorstruggledtobesetloose.WhentheyusedtheReversalRemedy,Kimmyusuallycalmsdownquicklyandreturnstobeingtheirdarlingandlovablelittlegirl.

Vincentwas reluctant touse the techniqueat first, convinced that stern threatsoraraisedvoicewasthebestsolution.Inthebe-ginningVincentwouldpointtothetimeswhenthepolaritycorrectiondidn’tworkasevidence that thewhole ideawas“ridiculous.” IttookawhileforVincenttorecognizethattheReversalRemedywasworking.Kimmywashavingfewertantrums,andtheywerenotsodire.AlthoughVincenthasnotstoppedusingtime-outs when he gets frustrated, he now frequently does the Reversal Remedy withKimmyandheseeshowit’shelpedher“spells.”

Grade-Schoolers

Kidsinkindergartenthroughaboutsixthgrademovethroughprofoundleaps in their emotional range and their ability to understand andmanage their feelings. Of course, they stillmay get into a statewhentheysimply,andfornoexplainablereason,haveatantrumorareoutofcontrol.They’resoupsetthattheycannotbeconsoledorreasonedwith.Grade school children usually are dealing with more complicated

emotions:selfishness,shyness,pouting,hurtfeelings,embarrassment.Aschildrengrowup,sodothecomplexityoftheirpolarityreversals.Atthisstage,therearesituationsinwhichacompleteESMtreatmentiscalledfor.Of course, young children usually are not sophisticated enough to

clearlyidentifyjustwhatistroublingthem.Asmallchildmaynotsay“Idon’t feel confident at school” or “I feel embarrassed at school.”Thechildmaynotevenunderstandwhatistriggeringtheirfearorresistance.“Idon’twanttogotoschool”isthewaythechildmayexpressit.Thisiswheretheparent’sunderstandingcomesin.Isthechildscared?Ofwhat?Orangry,orembarrassed,orlonely?Atthisstageofdevelopmentthereisstillnoneedtoaskyourchildtoreflectontheproblem.Activatingtheproperthoughtfieldisautomatic.Inmostcases,itisalsotooearlytohavethechilddothetappinghim-

orherself.Trygettinganangrysix-year-oldtosay“I’mtotallyOK,evenifI’mfeelinglousy.”However,bytheageofeightornine,oftenchildrencando the tapping sequencesandmake the statements for themselves,

withanadult’sguidance.Evenso,whenyoungchildrenarestrugglingtomakesenseoffeelingsorwhentheyarehavinga“hissyfit,”theyarenotin aposition to focus on theESMprocess andwill need their parents’help.ESMcanhaveapowerfuleffectonchildrenwhenthereisanongoingpattern or problem. For example, you may notice that your child isdevelopingresistancetodoinghomework,orrefusingtogotoschool,oractingshyaroundclassmates,orhavingdifficultywithsharingtoys. Inthis kind of situation, it is important to treat the behavior before itbecomesmoreseriousorbeforethechildbecomesevenmoredistressed.Thedanger of letting these feelings goon indefinitely is that they canbecome an ingrained pattern that gets carried into adolescence andadulthood.Onceunproductive copingmechanisms become established,it takesagreatdealofparentalsupportandfocusedattentiontobreakthepattern.Before you approach your child to work on what seems to be acumulativepatternofbehavior,besurethatyouarecalmandcentered.Aparent’sstresscaninadvertentlyprovokethechild’sstress,whichcanmakethesituationmoredifficulttodealwith.Thechallengeasaparentistobecalminthefaceofthechild’sdistress,whichmayinvolvefirsttreatingyourselfusingESMtechniques.Theusualpowerandauthorityconflicts that arise between parents and children alsomay complicateadministeringthetreatments,especiallytoachildinturmoil.The best time to use ESM techniques with children is when thedistressingemotionorbehaviorfirstpresents itself. If, forexample, theproblemisshapingupasanightlystruggleaboutdoinghomework,youmightbegineachhomeworksessionwithatreatment.Thetrickhereisnottogetintodifficultywith“teaching”ESMtoachildwhoisalreadystruggling with emotional difficulty and inciting a new level offrustration.Theparentcandothetappingonthechild,upuntilthechildisabletoorshowsinterestindoingitforhimself.

Ten-year-oldBobby’sstruggleinschoolandwithhishomeworkwasmakinglifedifficultforeveryoneintheirhousehold.He’dtoldtheschoolcounselor,whohadscreenedhimforlearningdisordersandotherseriousproblems,thathedidn’tunderstandwhyreadingandcompositionweresohardforhim.Oftenhedidn’tunderstandtheassignments,andthen

hefeltstupidandfrustrated.Bobbyworkedwithatutorforawhile,butthetutorbecamefrustratedwiththewaythatBobbytendedtogiveupeasilyondifficulttasks.HisparentshadtriedhardtoteachBobbypatienceandgoodstudyskills—andthey’dworkedhardtolearn patience themselves—but it seemed that each evening turned into a battle athomeworktime.

Whentheyfirstcametoouroffice,Bobby’sparentsrelatedhowpainfulitwasforthemtoseetheirsonsounhappyandstrugglingsohardwithhishomework.Lately,whenhebecame frustrated, hewould grit his teeth and sometimes pound the palm of his handagainsthisforehead,sayingthingslike“I’mstupid,Ijustdon’tgetthis.”TheywonderedifhypnosismighthelpBobby. I suggested to them that if low frustration tolerancewaspartofBobby’sdifficulty,wemighttryusingESMtoseeifitwouldimprovehisabilitytobe patientwith himself. I explained that theywould need to be able to administer theprocedurewithBobbyandhewouldneedtobewillingtotryit.Sothestagewasset.

Bobbyappearedbright-eyed,inquisitive,andcurious,butabitcautiousaswell.WhenIaskedhimwhathethoughtofallthis,hesaid,“Idon’tknowyet.SometimesIfeelstupid,because I justdon’tunderstandwhatwe’rereading inschool.Andwithmyhomework,mostofthetimeI’mlost.”

Iexplained toBobbyandhisparents that theywouldbe learningaskill tohelphimreduce his frustrations and improve his concentration and focus.We all agreed thoseweregoodgoals.WithhisparentsdoingtheexercisesalongwithBobby,wewentthroughthe Balanced Breathing, polarity reversal corrections, and the Tap Sequence forfrustration.CertainlyBobby’sparentsbenefitedfromthataswell.

Sitting in my office, Bobby was not feeling the intense frustration that he typicallyexperienceswhiledoinghishomework.Inorderthattheywouldhavethistoolwheneveritwasneeded, itwas important forBobbyandhisparents to learn to run through thewhole process easily and confidently.We all practiced it together a few times, like achorus line, and I made an audiotape of the instructions. Bobby enjoyed learning ittogetherasafamily.

Withintwoweeks,hisparentsreported,Bobby’sfrustrationhaddroppedconsiderably.ItwasnowtimetomoveintotheOptimizerprotocol.MeetingagainwithBobbyandhisparents,Ishowedthemhowtodevelopapositivegoalstatement.Bobbycameupwith“Igetthis;Iunderstandthisstuff.”Bobby’sstatementhadallthenecessaryelements.Itwasapositivestatementinthepresenttense,andspecifictotheproblem.Whilenotthewayan adult would have phrased it, Bobby understood exactly what was meant—that hewouldbeabletounderstandandmakesenseofhisassignments.

Bobby’s grades improvedwithin sixweeks.What ismore important, he had stopped

hittinghimselfintheheadinfrustration,whichhehadexplainedwasaneffortto“poundthisstuffintomyhead.”Henowtookhistimereadingtheassignmentsandaskedgoodquestions in class. His parents also helped him use other ESM processes to reduce hisanxietyontestdaysandbeforeoralpresentations.Asaresultofhisactiveparticipationinsolvinghisproblems,Bobbyalso feltmoreself-confident.Hewascalmerandevenalittlemorepatientwithhisyoungerbrother,anunanticipatedbonusforhisparents.

ThewholefamilyhadgainedsomethingfromusingESM.Theywouldteaseeachother,saying“Ithinkyouneedtotap,”wheneveroneoranotherwasgettingupsetorfrustrated.Theywereallmakinguseofthesevaluablenewtools.

ADMINISTERINGESMTOGRADE-SCHOOLCHILDREN

The following series of drawings is meant to help young childrenmeasuretheirdistress.Althoughthereareonlyhalfasmanylevelshereas on the 0 to 10 scale, you will get a pretty good reading of theintensityofyourchild’sfeelings.Askyourchildtopointtothefacethatlooksmost like theway he or she feels. Youmight also ask “Are youfeeling sad? Or are you worried? Are you frustrated with yourhomework?”

Your attention and your knowledge of your child will help you toformulate the right intention statement. You can say “I love you verymuch,honey,evenifyouwon’tshareyourtoys.”Or,“Icompletelyloveyou,even ifyour feelingsarehurt.”Makethestatement threeormoretimesasyoutaptheSide-of-HandspotorrubtheChestspot,whicheverfeelsmostcomfortableforthechild.It’salwaysgoodifyoucanholdthechild,thoughadistressedchildmayatfirstresistbeingcomforted.Afteradministeringthetreatment,askyourchildtoagainpointtothe

facethatlookslikewhatthey’refeelingnow,asawayofmonitoringtheeffectofthetreatment.

AdministeringaFullTreatment:

Whenyourchildisdealingwithamorecomplexproblem,suchasafearoraphobia,itmaybenecessarytoadministerafulltreatmentsequence.For example, parents who detect that a child is being repeatedlyembarrassed at school can help by administering the protocol forembarrassment. Heading off feelings of humiliation early in life caninsulate a child from developing inappropriate feelings of shame. Aninability to handle frustration that is causing a child to struggle withfriendships,orwithstudying,andthatseemstobeleadingtoproblemswith self-esteem can be addressed with a complete protocol. Kayla’sstory illustrates how a full treatment can be administered to a youngchild:

Waitingherturnforaswimminglessonatherfriend’shome,six-year-oldKaylasuddenlyletouta scream.Whenhermother ran toher, she saw thatKayla’s legswerecoveredwithants.Theantswerequicklywashedoff,butKaylawastraumatized.Sherefusedtostayforherlessonandhadtobecarriedtothecar.Anicecreamconeandagoodnight’ssleephelped,butherfearofantsremained.She’dcomescreamingintothehouseatthefirstsightofanantinthebackyard.Ofcourse,therewerealwaysantsinthebackyard.Sheinsistedonbeingcarriedeverytimeshewentoutdoors,whichsoonbecametiresomeandinconvenient.WhenKayla’smomlearnedtoadministertheprotocolforphobias,sheexplainedtoKaylathatshecoulddosomethingtohelpher.Kaylahadahardtimeeventalkingaboutherfearofants,sohermomhadherpointtooneofthefacesinthecharttoshowhowshefelt.Notsurprisingly,Kaylapickedouttheveryunhappyface#5.

Taking Kayla on her lap, her mother corrected for all polarity reversals. First sheadministeredtheglobalreversal,saying“Icompletely loveandacceptyou,Kayla,evenwith your problems and frustrations.” She continued through the list of reversals: “…evenifyouwanttokeepyourfearofants,”“…evenifyouwillcontinuetohaveyourfearofants,”“…evenifyoudon’tdeservetogetoveryourfearofants,”throughto“…evenifgettingoveryourfearofantswillnotbegoodforothers.”ThentheywentthroughtheTapSequenceforphobias,withKayla’smotherdoingthetapping,whileKaylasaid“fearofants”ateachsite.ThenhermothertappedontheBack-of-HandspotforKaylaandledherthroughthestepsoftheBridge,withKaylafollowinghermother’sfingerasshewentthroughtheeyemovements.TheyrepeatedtheTapSequenceagain.Kaylanowpickedoutthesmilingfacewhenhermotheraskedhertoshowhowshefeltonthechart.FinallyKayladidtheEyeRoll,withhermotherdemonstratinghowtodoit.Kaylawasfascinatedbythesimpletappingprocedurethattookjustafewminutes.Thenextthinghermotherknew,Kaylawasoutplayingintheyard.“I’mnotafraidofantsanymore,”

shenowtellsherfriends.

Adolescents

AdolescentscanbeveryresponsivetoESM.Teenagers findthathavingsomewayofcontrollingtheirfeelingsisempowering.Theyliketheideathat theycan self-administer theseproceduresatany time toget relieffromtheirworriesandfrustrations.Thereisnosubstituteforknowingwhatyourchildisexperiencingin

hisorhersocial,academic,andfamilylife.BeforeusingESMtechniques,focusfirstonwhatthedistressisaboutandwhatitisteachingthechild.Especiallywithadolescents,takingawaytheirdistressbeforetheyhaveagraspofhowthefeelingmayserveapurpose,andbeforetheyhaveachance to experience the emotional consequences of their actions, canultimatelybeunproductive.Lettheteenagercomplainabouthavingthe“blahs”orupsetaboutnotmakingthesoccerteam.Thediscussionitselfmay relieve some of the distress and may offer the opportunity tointroducehimorhertoESM.MostteenagersrespondpositivelytolearningESMwhentheyfeellike

they’vesufferedenough,butteachinganadolescentmayprovetricky,ifsheisangryordefensiveorinanemotionalstatewheresheresentsanyshowofauthority.Waiting for the rightmoment,or sharingwithyourteenager the way that the process has worked for you, are goodstrategies.RefertoChapter12formoretipsonteachingESMtoothers.

When it comes to fears and phobias, a rational explanation is like a bucket against araging tide. Fourteen-year-old Grace was terrified of high winds and thunderstorms,whicharecommonatcertaintimesofyearinthehighdeserttowninwhichshelives.Thehowlingwindsmadeherfeellikethehousemightcollapseoratreemightfallonit,eventhough therewereno large treesoutsideandeven though thestormsrarelycausedanysignificantdamage.

During the storms, Grace would shiver and tremble under the covers or insist onsleepingthenight inherparents’bed.Shebecameembarrassedaboutherfear,becausesleepoversatherfriends’wereoutofthequestion.Onenight,astheyweretalkingabouther fear, Grace asked her mother for help. That was all her mother needed to hear.Searching out a variety of treatments, eventually she was referred to me. I talked by

phonewithGrace’smotherandsenthersomeliteratureandatape,soshecouldlearntheprocedureandteachittoGrace.

Gracewas initially skepticalabout “thisweird tapping thing,”but shealso saw littlereasonnottotryit.Atthetimeofthetreatment,Gracewasonlyabletofeelastresslevelof2onthedistressscaleassherecalledthestormthathadscaredhersomuchthemonthbefore.Withnoactualthunderandlightningtocreateafullyactivethoughtfield,itwasunlikely that this one treatment would hold. But just so that she would learn thetechniques,Gracecorrectedforpolarityreversalsandwentthroughacompletecycleofthe phobia sequence, with her mother modeling the tapping for her. When she hadrepeated the Tap Sequence for the second time, her mother asked her to again thinkabout the thunderstorms. “I was remembering the big storm we had just after schoolstarted last fall,” Grace said. “I remembered how scared I was then and how I’d bescarediftherewasanotherstormlikethat.Butrightnow,Ifeelkindofsillyforhavingbeensoscared.”Nowherdistresslevelwaszero.

Ofcourse,thetruetestforGracewasherreactiontothenextstorm.Asithappened,awindstormwithforty-five-mile-per-hourgustsblewthroughthetownthefollowingweek.ThiswasjustthesortofstormthatwouldfindGraceunderthecovers,exceptthatthistime she “forgot” there was a windstorm and continued to watch television all thatSaturday. Her mother was hopeful that now Grace would be able to weather thethunderstorms.

Naturekeptthesuspenseshort.Athunderstormbrewedupafewdayslater.Notasbigas the lastone,butwildenoughtohavesentGracerunningforcover.This timeGracewasacutelyawareofthethunderandthelightning-streakedsky,andalthoughshestayedup,heranxietylevelrosetoa6.Asthethundercrackedandrolledoverhead,hermotheragain ledGrace through the complete sequence for fears and phobias.Grace’s anxietyleveldroppedtoa2andremainedthereforthedurationofthestorm.

ThiswasatremendoussuccessforGrace.Shefeltpleasedwithherself,becauseshehaddone the tapping herself and it had worked. She was relieved that she was no longer“actinglikesuchaweirdo.”

This time Grace’s treatment seemed to be permanent. When the next thunderstormcame up, her stress level never went above a 2, a reasonable level of concern withlightningandthunderclappingoverhead.

Dating is one of themost anxiety-producing situations for teens. Bymid-adolescence boys and girls are beginning to do things togethersocially, have crushes, and become involved in their first relationships

outside of their family.Youngmenandwomen feel socially awkward,sensitive about their appearance, and unsure of themselves. EmotionalSelf-Managementmethodscanhelpyourteenagerscopewiththeseandotheruncomfortablesituationsmoreeffectively.

Fifteen-year-old Angela was slightly overweight and very self-conscious about herappearance,withlittleconfidenceinherpopularityatschool.Nowaclassmatehadaskedher to go to the movies, and what should have been a very pleasant and positiveexperiencewascausingAngelaonlydreadandanxiety.Wouldhelikeher?Whatwouldthey talk about?Whatwould her classmates think? Shewas considering canceling thedatewhenherparentsbecameconcernedabouthowanxiousandupsetsheseemed.Shewassettingupaself-fulfillingscenariothatcouldeasilyturnintowhatshefearedmost:rejection.

Angela’sparentswereexperiencedwithESMandonly toohappytoshowherhowitmighthelpher.Angelawaswillingtolearn,aslongasnoonefoundoutaboutit.Withher parents to guide her, she was able to overcome her anxieties and self-doubt byadministeringtheprotocolforanticipatoryanxiety.

ThensheusedtheOptimizerprotocoltoinstallpositivethoughtsaboutherselfandtheupcomingdate.Shewasabletoenjoytheeveningand,althoughtheboydidnotaskheroutagain,shedidn’ttakeitpersonally.AgainusingtheOptimizerproceduretoreachherpersonalgoals,Angelainstalledpositivethoughtsandimagesofherselftalkingandbeingateasewithboys.HerparentsreportedthatoverthefollowingmonthsAngelaappearedto gain self-confidence at school and with her friends. Her dating life picked upconsiderably. In following up with her parents about six months later, I learned thatAngelawasdatinga boy she likedandwho likedher. Shewas even beginning to givedatingadvicetohergirlfriends.

Indealingwithteenagers,parentsneedtobeawareofhowopenteensare toparental suggestionor authority. If your sonordaughter is likeAngela,youmaybeabletocoachhimorherdirectlyinusingtheESMmethods.But adolescentswho arewithdrawnor rebelliouswill simplytune theirparentsout. In such situations itmaybebetter tomake thebook available and merely comment on how ESM has helped you.Anotherwayofpiquingateen’sinterestinESMistopointoutthattheseare techniques used by athletes, performers, or others whom theadolescentmightadmire.Helpingone’sownchildrencopemoreeffectivelywiththestressesof

lifeandlearnnewskillsisarewardingpartofbeingaparent.LearningEmotionalSelf-Managementcanbeawonderfulwaytoeasethestressesofparenthoodandmodeltheskillsforimpressionableyoungsters.

F

FOURTEEN

EnergyFutures

TheSkyIsNottheLimit

oralltheinnovativeandpowerfuladvancesinenergypsychologyinrecent years, the field is still in its infancy Considering the steep

curve at which this field is evolving, there will certainly be newbreakthroughsinunderstandingthemechanismsofhumanthoughtandemotion. Theremay be as-yet undiscovered dimensions of energy thatilluminatethehumancondition.Newinstrumentation,suchasmagneto-encephalography (MEG), andnew applications of existing technologieslike functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and positronemission tomography (PET) scans, directed toward the physiologicalphenomenaassociatedwiththoughtenergytherapies,willprovidenewinformation about the composition of thought. Exploration ofacupuncture processes and the body’smeridian systemare underway.Soon we may be able to decipher the vibrational band of discreteemotions, just aswemeasure levels of physical stimulus and responsewith an electroen-cephalograph.Once such effects aremeasurable andrepeatable,acceptanceandutilizationofenergytherapymodalitieswillfollow at a rapid pace. Just as biofeedback teaches people to controlphysiological states, future technologymay help people recognize andcultivate specific emotions. The July1999 issue ofNatureNeurosciencereporteda studybyJohnChapin,Ph.D., inwhichelectrical activity inrats’ brains associated with their intention to get water activated arobotic arm that provided water to them. To us, it provides evidencethat specific thought activity can be identified and utilizedconstructively.Thecomingyearswillseeasweepingchangeintreatmentapproaches

relatedtohumanhealthanddevelopment.Energytherapiesarepointing

thewaytoharnesswhatmaybethemostpowerfulforceofall:humanintention. Quantum physics shows that the focusing of thought energycan have an effect onmatter. In otherwords, our ability to focus ourthoughtswithintentioncanhaveaneffectonenergyinthebodywhichmanifests in physical form. We are on the threshold of discoveringhighlyeffectivewaystousethoughtenergytomaintainphysicalaswellas mental health and balance. Fueled by new understanding of theenergysystemsofbodyandmind,wewill fullyactivate the“powerofpositivethinking.”

AVisionoftheFuture

Eventually nearly everyone, in one way or another, will use energytherapytoolsformanagingemotions,becausetheyareportable,easytolearn,andwithoutharmfulsideeffects.Energypsychotherapieswillbepart of the treatment for a variety ofmedical disorders. The ability toeliminateself-sabotagingpolarityreversalswill facilitatemoreeffectiveresponse to existing treatments, neutralizing distress and unblockingpathways to healing. The reduction of stress alone, with its ability toreducetheincidenceandseverityofdiseaseprocesses, isfertilegroundforcomprehensiveenergypsychother-apeutics.Thedayisnotsofaroffwhenallmembersofthehealingprofessionswillbefamiliarwiththeseproceduresandusethemwithintheirownapproachtohelpingpeople.Already,inourownpractices,physiciansreferclientswithdifficult-to-treatillnesses,forhelpwiththeemotionalcomponentsoftheirdistress.We also train physicians and other clinicians in the use of ESM as anadjuncttreatment.Asofthiswriting,wearerunningapilotstudyontheeffectiveness of ESM for people who suffer from claustrophobia. Thestudy examines changes in brain wave patterns,muscle tension, heartrate, skin temperature, respiration, and electrical properties of themeridiansystem,usingtheAMI(ApparatusforMeridianIdentification)deviceinadditiontoanumberofpsychologicalmeasures.Thoughasyetincomplete, the study reveals evidence of physiological changes inmuscle tension, automatic nerve activity, and other readings after anESMtreatment.Significantbehavioralchangesarealsobeingobserved,withsubjectsabletotolerateconfinementinasmallelevator-sizeroom

withgreatercomfort.Wewillbeupdatingthefindingsofthisstudyonourwebsite:www.gem-systems.com.Thought Field Therapy (TFT) has proven highly effective in crisissituations.In1998ateamofvisitingtherapiststhathadbeenconductingalocaltraininginTFTwereabletorespondimmediatelytothebombingof the U.S. Embassy in Nairobi. Working with translators, they wentfrombedtobedadministeringtreatmenttopeopleseverelyinjuredandtraumatized in the blast. Theywere also able to help familymembersgrief-stricken by the loss of loved ones or devastated by seeing familymembers with missing limbs. One of our students, a missionary andnursepractitioner,traveledtoAlbaniain1999aspartofamedicalteam,administering ESM to distraught refugees fleeingKosovo. She reportedmanysuccessesintreatingsevereemotionaltraumaandinhelpingtoliftthe psychic burdenof thesemen,women, and children, in addition totreatingtheirmedicalneeds.

ESMandtheEvolutionofConsciousness

ESM and energy psychotherapies are emblematic of the evolution ofhumanconsciousness.Whenwefirstbeganourpractices,ourobjectivewas to alleviate psychological distress—to neutralize negative effects.Then, along the same continuum, we began applying these sameprinciples to performance enhancement in business and sports. Thetrainingwehaveconductedincorporateandorganizationalsettingshasshown us that ESM methods are powerful tools for building teams,resolvingconflicts, reducingstress,and increasingoverallperformance.We are just beginning to explore the vast potential for the OptimizercapabilitiesofESM.Nowweseeourselvesmovingfurtheralongthatcontinuumtoapplythese methods to global consciousness and the healing of the humanspirit.ThewiderapplicationsforESMmovebeyondthepersonalarenatoaddingpositiveenergy to larger systems: the family, the school, thelocalandglobalcommunity.Whenpeoplehavetoolstoresolvepersonalissuesandtomanagetheirpracticalproblemsanddifficulties,theyhavemoreenergyto focusonothers.Nolongerself-consumed, theyare lessdefendedandcanlookbeyondtheirnarrowintereststothelargerworld.

The ability to make a contribution to society and to have a positiveeffectonone’sworldiskeytospiritualgrowthandself-actualization.Inthewakeofrecentschoolandcommunityviolence,itisvitaltofind

newwaystoteachyoungpeopletomanagetheiremotionsandtofosterself-esteem.Poorlychanneledrage,anger,andthepainofrejectioncanlead all too easily to senseless violence. Increasing the emotionalintelligence of young people before problems arise may be the mostdirectsolutiontosomeoftheproblemsinoursociety.Childrendeservetohaveskillstoenablethemtocopewiththecomplexitiesoflifemoreeffectively. Emotional Self-Management techniques, life skills thatpromote a sense of competence, confidence, and social awareness,directly address the impulse control problems so often associatedwithviolent behavior. We are now developing a program for coachingteachers and counselors inmethods of introducing ESM at themiddleschoollevel.At this time in human evolution, as the acceleration of new

technologies and information threatens tooverwhelmus,wearebeinggiven life-saving and life-enhancing psychological tools with which toface the new millennium. ESM tools are the foundation for focusingintention beyond oneself, ultimately connecting people on a level thatbridgeslanguagedifferencesanddiversities.Withthesetools,wecanallbecomeagentsofchange,notonlyathomebutinourcommunities.Wecaneachcontributetomakingtheglobalvillageasafeandhappyplacetolive.

PROCEDURESATAGLANCE

TapSiteReferenceKey

SubjectiveUnitsofDistressScale

BalancedBreathingExercise

PolarityReversal(PR)Exercise

TheRapidRelaxer

TheEyeRoll

TheBridge

BoosterPolarityReversals

TheOptimizerProtocol

StressSelf-AssessmentforChildren

TheFive-StepBreathingExercise

TapSiteReferenceKey

SubjectiveUnitsofDistressScale

0Theabsenceofanydistress.Feelingcalmandtotallyrelaxed.

1NeutralfeelingorjustOK,notasrelaxedascouldbe.

2Amildirritation.Firstawarenessoftensionorvaguestress.

3Increaseddiscomfort,unpleasant,butincontrol.

4Noticeablediscomfortordistress,perhapsagitation,buttolerable.

5Discomfortisveryuncomfortable,butIcanstandit.

6Discomfortworsensandaffectsmylife.

7Discomfortissevereandemotionalpaininterfereswithlife.

8Discomfortincreasesanditisinmythoughtsconstantly.

9Discomfortisnearlyintolerable.

10Discomfortisextremeandtheworstimaginable.Ifeelpanickyandoverwhelmed.

BalancedBreathingExercise

BalancedBreathingtakesabouttwominutes.Sittinginastraight-backchairisbest,butBalancedBreathingcanbedonewhilelyingdownorinastandingposition.

1.

Crossyourleftankleoveryourrightankle.

2. Extendbotharmsstraightoutinfrontofyou.

3.

Rotatethepalmsofyourhandssothattheyarefacingandinterlockyourfingers.

4.

Continuerotatinginwardsothatyoubringyourhandsupclosetoyourchest.Atthispointyouhavecrossedthecenterlineofyourbodywithyourhands,arms,andlegs.

5.

Crossyourrightarmoveryourleftarmatthewrist.

6.

Rotateyourhandsdowntowardyourstomach.

Note:Ifitismorecomfortableforyou,youcanreversetheorder—rightankleoverleft,leftwristoverright.Itdoesn’tmakeadifference,aslongastheyareopposite.

Onceintheproperposition,inhalethroughyournosewhiletouchingthetipofyourtonguetothe roofof yourmouth.Exhale throughyourmouth, restingyour tongueon the floorof yourmouth.

Focusyourthoughtsontheconceptofbalance.Itmightbetheideaofthebalanceofmindandbodyor just theword“balance.”At thesametimepicture inyourmind, ifyoucan,an imagethatrepresentsbalance.Thiscouldbetheimageofascale,oraseesaw,orstandingononefoot.Throughoutthetwo-minuteprocess,breathecomfortably.Don’tworryifyouarenotalwaysabletoholdthethoughtorimage;comebacktoitifyoudriftaway.

PolarityReversal(PR)Exercise

Begin by doing the Balanced Breathing exercise to align the body’s polarity. Then, sittingcomfortably,taporrubthedesignatedpointwhilesayingeachintentionstatementthreetimes.Itdoesnotmatterhowquicklyorslowlyyouspeakeachstatement,dowhateverfeelsrighttoyou.With the exception of the Global PR, you can substitute a verbalization of the issue you aredealingwith for thephrase“myproblemsand limitations.”Forexample,“myanxiety”or“myangeraboutmydivorce.”

GlobalPR.WhilerubbingtheChestsorespot:

IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenwithallmyproblemsandlimitations.”

KeepingPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:

IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwanttokeepthisproblem.”

FuturePR.Whiletappingunderthenose:

IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,even if Iwillcontinue tohavethisproblem.”

Deserving PR. While tapping under the lower lip: Intention Statement: “I deeply andcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIdon’tdeservetogetoverthisproblem.”

SafetyofSelfPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:

IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifitisn’tsafeformetogetoverthisproblem.”

SafetyofOthersPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:

Intention Statement: “I deeply and completely accept myself, even if it isn’t safe forothersformetogetoverthisproblem.”

PermissionPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:

IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifitisn’tpossibleformetogetoverthisproblem.”

AllowingPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:

Intention Statement: “I deeply and completely acceptmyself, even if I will not allowmyselftogetoverthisproblem.”

NecessaryPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:

IntentionStatement:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIwillnotdowhatisnecessarytogetoverthisproblem.”

BenefitofSelfPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:

Intention Statement: “I deeply and completely acceptmyself, even if getting over thisproblemwillnotbegoodforme.”

BenefitofOthersPR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:

Intention Statement: “I deeply and completely acceptmyself, even if getting over this

problemwillnotbegoodforothers.”

UniquePR.WhilerubbingtheChestspot:

Intention Statement: “I deeply and completely acceptmyself, even if I have a uniqueblocktogettingovermyproblems.”

The list of polarity reversal themes below can bememorized so that you can do the exercisewithout referring to the written instructions. The tap site for each reversal appears inparentheses.

GlobalPR(Chest)

KeepingPR(Chest)

FuturePR(UnderNose)

DeservingPR(UnderLip)

SafetyofSelfPR(Chest)

SafetyofOthersPR(Chest)

PermissionPR(Chest)

AllowingPR(Chest)

NecessaryPR(Chest)

BenefitofSelfPR(Chest)

BenefitofOthersPR(Chest)

UniquePR(Chest)

TheRapidRelaxer

TheRapidRelaxerconsistsofanEyeRoll,thenaBridge,followedbyanotherEyeRoll.BecausetheEyeRoll andBridgeareused independently in theESMprotocols, the twoprocedures arepresentedseparatelybelow.

TheEyeRoll

TheEyeRollisacontinuouseyeroll,whichisdonewhilecontinuouslytappingtheBack-of-Handspot.Throughouttheexercise,keepyourheadlevel,facingstraightahead.Moveonlyyoureyes,notyourhead.

Beginwithyoureyesclosed.Openyoureyes,lookdown(atthefloorifyou’restanding,orintoyour lap ifyou’re sitting),andwithyoureyes, slowly tracean imaginary linestraight forwardacross the floor to thewall in front of you. Continue slowly rolling your gaze up thewall to

where itmeets the ceiling and thenback towardyouacross the ceiling,until youare lookingaboveyou.Thewholesequenceshouldtakeabouteightseconds.

TheBridge

TheBridgeconsistsofaseriesofeyemovements,humming,andcounting,allthewhilekeepinguptheBack-of-HandTap.Thewholesequencetakesaboutfifteenseconds.

1.

Startwithyoureyesopen.

2.

Closeyoureyes.

3.

Openyoureyesandglancedowntowardthefloortoyourright.

4.

Glancedowntoyourleft.

5.

Rotateyoureyesinafullcircleinonedirection.Makesureyouarenotskippinganypartofthecircle.Itmaytakealittlepracticetobesureyouaremakingacompletecircle.

6.

Nowrotateyoureyesaroundinacompletecircleintheoppositedirection.

7.

Humaboutfivenotes.Thismightbeafamiliartune,suchas“HappyBirthday,”orjustmakeupafewnotesofyourown.

8.

Countfromonetofive.

9.

Humafewnotesagain.

BoosterPolarityReversals

RepeatthreetimeswhilerubbingtheChestsite:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifIamnotcompletelyoverthisproblem.”

RepeatthreetimeswhiletappingUnderNose:“Ideeplyandcompletelyacceptmyself,evenifInevergetcompletelyoverthisproblem.”

TheOptimizerProtocol

Phase1

SUDS,whilethinkingabouttheblockstoachievingyourgoal

BalancedBreathingexercise

PolarityReversalexercise,whileholdinginmindnegativethemesaboutyourself

ApplyTapSequencesforthespecificemotionsinterferingwithyourgoal.Ifyourunintotrouble,youmightfirsttrytheBoosterPolarityReversalsorComprehensiveTapSequenceinProtocol#5.Ifyoustillcannotreducethedistresslevel,refertotheinformationaboutworkingwithlayeredemotionsinChapter6andthetroubleshootingsectionofChapter8.FolloweachTapSequencewith:

Bridge

RepeatTapSequence

RecheckSUDS

EyeRoll

Phase2

Decideonapositivestatementthatclearlyexpressesyourgoal.

RateyourlevelofbeliefinthatstatementusingtheVOCscale(page208).

BalancedBreathing.(Thisoneisoptionalifyouaredoingallthreephasesinonesitting).

PolarityReversals,thealternativeversionshownonpage209.

TapSequence:

tappingcontinuouslywhilestatingyourgoalthreetimesateachlocation.

Bridge

RepeatTapSequence,asabove.

RecheckVOC;ifit’sa+10,orifyouaresatisfiedwitha+8or+9atthisstage,moveto:

EyeRoll.

Note:Ifyoubecomestuckandarenotabletogettothelevelyouwant,firstapplytheBoosterPolarity Reversals on page 258. Go through the Tap Sequence again with your positive goalstatements,thentheBridgeandtheTapSequencewithpositivegoalstatement.

Phase3

Bringtomindimagesoftheprocessandresultofachievingyourgoal.

RateyourbeliefinyourimageryontheVOIscaleonpage212.

BalancedBreathing.(Thisisoptionalifyouaredoingallthreephasesinonesitting.)

PolarityReversals.(Usetheversiononpage217.)TapSequence:

orthirtysecondseachwhilefullyimaginingtheprocessandresultofachievingyourgoal.

Bridge

RepeatTapSequenceandimagery,asabove.

CheckVOI;ifit’sa+10,orifyouaresatisfiedwitha+8or+9atthisstage,moveto:

EyeRoll.

StressSelf-AssessmentforChildren

Haveyourchildpointtothefacethatbestreflectshows/hefeels.

TheFive-StepBreathingExercise

Five-StepBreathingentailsdoingafive-stepbreathingtechniqueeighttimes,eachtimeholdingonehandor theother indifferentpositionsonthecollarbonesiteswhilecontinuously tappingtheBack-of-Handspotwiththeoppositehand.Herearethefivestepsofthebreathingprocess:

1. Takeadeepbreathandholditforfiveseconds.

2. Exhalehalfofthebreathandholdforfiveseconds.

3. Exhalecompletelyandholdforfiveseconds.

4. Inhalehalfwayandholdforfiveseconds.

5. Breathenormallyforaboutfiveseconds.

Note:Halfbreathsinoroutareapproximate;thereisnoprecisehalfwaypoint.

Hereare theeighthandpositions.Ineachpositiondoa complete cycleofFive-StepBreathingwhilecontinuouslytappingtheBack-of-Handspotwiththeoppositehand.

1.

PalmsideoftherighthandtouchingtherightCollarbonespot.

2.

PalmsideoftherighthandtouchingtheleftCollarbonespot.

3.

Backside(makeafist)oftheright-handfingerstouchingtherightCollarbonespot.

4.

Backsideoftheright-handfingerstouchingtheleftCollarbonespot.

5. Switchhands.

6.

PalmsideofthelefthandtouchingtherightCollarbonespot.

7.

PalmsideofthelefthandtouchingtheleftCollarbonespot.

8.

Backsideoftheleft-handfingerstouchingtherightCollarbonespot.

9.

Backsideoftheleft-handfingerstouchingtheleftCollarbonespot.

Practicesuggestions:Inordertobecomecomfortablewiththeprocedure:

1. a.PracticejusttheFive-StepBreathingsequenceuntilyoucandoitcomfortably.

2. b.Thenpracticegoingthroughtheeighthandpositionstobecomefamiliarwiththem.

3. c.FinallyaddthecontinuoustappingontheBack-of-Handspotwiththeoppositehand.

GLOSSARY

Acupuncture. A traditional Chinese therapeutic technique whereinspecific points on the body’smeridian system are stimulatedwith veryfineneedlestoproducehealingeffects.Stimulationalsocanbeachievedwith heat, pressure, electrical current, tapping, and other means ofactivatingthemeridians.Applied Kinesiology. A therapeutic methodology that utilizes manualmuscle testing to diagnose and treat various imbalances in the body’ssystems.Aspect. A new facet of the emotion being treated by anESMprotocolthatarisesduringthetreatmentprocess.Back-of-Hand Tap. A frequently used ESM procedure that involvesactivelytappingonaspotlocatedonthebackofthehandbetweentheknucklesof the ringandpinky fingers, aboutan inchback toward thewrist.Balanced Breathing. An exercise derived from yoga and from theinnovations of engineer Wayne Cook. This breathing exercise acts toorganizeandbalancethebody’selectricalenergy.Bioelectrical Energy. Energy generated through biological processessuch as nerve impulses, the electrical energy generated by musclecontractions,andtheelectricalchargesthatexistwithincellmembranesandotherpartsofthebody.Booster Polarity Reversal. A specific correction for Polarity Reversalsthat sometimesoccurduring theadministrationof theTapSequence. Itrepresents an aspect of a polarity theme that has not been completelycorrected.Bridge.AnESMprocedurethatintegratesthoughtsrelatedtoaspecifiedproblemorobjectiveintodifferentregionsofthebrain,throughtheuseofactivitiessuchaseyemovements,counting,andhumming.Itispartoftheemotion-specificprotocolsandtheRapidRelaxer.

Chi.(alsorecognizedasQi)ThewordforvitallifeenergyinTraditionalChineseMedicine.ElectromagneticFields.Thefieldofforceassociatedwithelectricchargein motion, with both electric and magnetic components. Thesurrounding sphere of magnetic energy, such as is generated by theconductionofelectricitythroughwires.Emotional Target. The specific feeling or issue that is the focus of anESMprotocol.Emotional Self-Management (ESM). A system of self-administeredprocedures for correcting mental and emotional balance and relievingemotionaldistressbasedonThoughtFieldTherapyandothertechniquesinthefieldsofenergypsychologyandcognitivetherapy.EnergyPsychology.Anemergingbranchofpsychologythatincorporateselectromagneticandotherenergyprocesses inthetreatmentofmental,emotional,andphysicalproblems.ESMProcedures.Avarietyof techniques that function toorganize thebody’senergy,relievedistress,andinstallpositivethoughtsandimagesforsuccess.Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Amethodology for treating emotional distress through the use of eyemovements and other methods of lat-eralization developed by Dr.FrancineShapiro.Eye Roll. An ESM procedure that involves slow, sweeping eyemovements. It is part of the Rapid Relaxer and also concludes asuccessfulprotocol,asawayofclosingtheeffectofthetreatment.Five-Step Breathing. A breathing exercise that restores the body’spolarity when it has become incoherent or undetectable. See polaritydisorganization.Intention.Thoughtthatisfocusedwithsomegoalorientation.IntentionStatement.Declarationofaspecificobjective,spokensoftlyorsilentlytooneselfaspartofanESMprocedure.Labeling Emotions. Identifying or naming specific feelings so that thecorrectTapSequencetreatmentcanbeapplied.Layered Emotions. Levels of emotional distress perceived at varying

levels of consciousness.Muchas anoniononly reveals its top layer atanyone time, emotionsmay stackuponeon topof theother, so thatonlythemostintenseorrecentisnoticeable.MajorPoints.Themeridian locationsthatmakeuptheTapSequenceofanESMprotocol.Meridians. The system of pathways that include the target sites ofacupunctureandESMtreatments,whichareorganizedprimarilyaroundspecificorgansorsystemsofthebody.Morphic Fields. Theoretical fields of energy that contain informationuseful to forming ormaintaining an organism. The theory ofmorphicfieldsissupplementarytothegenetictheoryofformation.Muscle Testing. A methodology that uses the detection of muscleweakness to diagnose the presence of unconcious distress, polarityreversals,andexternalinfluences,suchastoxicfoodsormedications.Neurolymphatic Reflex Spot. An acupuncture site and a nerve bundleassociatedwiththelymphsystem.InESM,thistreatmentsitefrequentlyisusedtocorrectforpolarityreversals.NonlocalEffect.Thephenomenon inquantumphysics inwhichactionin one place causes like reaction in another. For example, a photonmirrors the change of direction when the rotation of another photonwithwhichitispairedisaltered.OptimizerProtocol.AnESMtreatmentsequenceforaddressingissuesofperformanceandproductivitythatincorporatesgoal-settingandimagerystrategies.Neuropeptides. Chemical structures that serve as messengers tocommunicateinformationfromonelocationinthebodytoanother.Paradigm. A pattern for knowing, ormodel of understanding, a givendomain.Generallyasetofrulesandparametersforaddressingaspecificareaortopic.Piezoelectric Effect.Mechanical phenomenonwherein certain crystals,when bent and released, produce an electrical discharge. Frequentlyusedtoignitegasburners.Polarity.Acharacteristicofelectromagnetismthatorganizesenergyintoopposingattributesortendencies,suchasplus/minusornorth/south.

PolarityDisorganization.Astateofelectricalpolarityincoherencethathastheeffectofinterferingwiththeeffectivenessoftherapiesandmayproducenegativeemotionalandsometimescognitivesymptoms.Polarity Reversals. An electromagnetic state in which the plus/minuspole has become inverted. This effect can interfere with thoughtprocesses and emotional stability. Also, the name of an exercise tocorrecttheeffect.Polarity Themes. Topics of thought about universal human issues.Categoriesoflifethemes,suchasdeserving,possibility,orsafety,aswellas uniquely individual themes, are the target of the Polarity Reversalsexercise.Protocol.AcompleteESMtreatmentsequenceforaspecificemotionorissue.QuantumMechanics.Inphysics,atheoryofthestructureandbehaviorofatomsandmolecules.QuantumTheory.Amathematical theory inwhich subatomicparticlescan display behavior significantly different from the behavior of largeobjectsinthemacroworld.RapidRelaxer. An ESM procedure consisting of aBridge between twoEyeRolls,usedtoproviderapid,thoughtemporary,emotionalrelief.ReversalRemedy.Theprocedure foradministeringPolarityReversals toyoung children, which involves an adult tapping on the side of thechild’shandwhilerepeatinganintentionstatementforthechild.Subtle Energy. A reference to energy systems that are barely, or notdirectly,detectable.SubjectiveUnitsofDistressScale.Ascalewherebyindividualscanself-assess the level of their emotional or physical distress. Developed bypsychologistJosephWolpe,Ph.D.,thescaleratesdistressinlevelsfromzerototenorzerotoonehundred.Tap(Treatment)Points.Thespecificmeridianlocationsthatareusedasthetappingsitesinthoughtfieldtherapies.TapSequence. The grouping andorder of tap points used to address aparticularemotionorissueinanESMprotocol.TargetEmotion.Thespecificfeelingoremotionalstatethatisthetarget

ofaTapSequence.ThoughtField.Ahypothesizedelectromagneticfieldofenergybelievedtocorrespondtoindividualcategoriesofthoughtassociatedwithspecificemotions.ThoughtFieldTherapy.Arangeof therapies,whichusecharacteristicsofthought,combinedwithcertainelectromagneticcharacteristicsofthebody, to effect the release of emotional, and sometimes physiological,distress.Traditional ChineseMedicine. An umbrella term for a broad range ofEasternmedicalpractices,includingacupunctureandherbalremedies.VOC. Validity of Cognition. A self-assessed rating scale for anindividual’s belief in a particular thought or cognition, developed bypsychologist Francine Shapiro, Ph.D., as part of EMDR treatment. InESM,itispartoftheOptimizerprotocol.VOI.ValidityofImagery.Aself-assessedratingscaleformeasuringanindividual’sbeliefinaparticularmentalimageorsetofimages.InESM,itispartoftheOptimizerprotocol.

RESOURCES

Contactuswithyourcommentsandquestions,orforfurtherinformationat:

GlobalEmotionalSelf-ManagementSystemsTM

PeterLambrou,Ph.D.andGeorgePratt,Ph.D.ScrippsMemorialHospitalCampus9834GeneseeAvenue,Suite321LaJolla,CA92037(858)457-3900

http://www.gem-systems.com

OurwebsitefeaturesupdatesandmoreinformationaboutInstantEmotionalHealingandenergytherapies.You’llfindmoretipsandinstruction,alongwithtapes,courses,andotherproductsandservicesrelatedtoEmotionalSelf-Management.E-mailtheauthorsandexplorelinkstorelevantwebsites.

The followingorganizations and information sources are leads to exploringand learningmoreaboutenergypsychotherapyandrelatedtopicsdiscussedinInstantEmotionalHealing.

EnergyPsychotherapy

ACT(Acupressure,ChakraTechnique)

http://www.meridiantherapies.co.uk/phil.html

This website contains information about several variations of meridian-based therapeuticmethods.

AssociationforComprehensiveEnergyPsychology

http://www.energypsych.org

Organizationthatpromotesthepracticeofenergypsychology.

AttractorFieldTherapy(AFT)

http://www.the-tree-of-life.com

AnoutgrowthoftheseminalworkofDavidR.Hawkins,M.D.,Ph.D.,authorofPowervs.Force:TheHiddenDeterminantsofHumanBehavior.Thissiteprovidesinformationabouttheapplication

ofenergyprinciplestoavarietyofemotionalandphysicalproblems.

BeSetFreeFastTM

LarryPhillipNims,Ph.D.

1400EastChapmanAvenue

Orange,CA92866

(714)771-1186

http://members.aol.com/dnnn/whatisbsff.html

Ahighlyfocusedenergytherapymethodforeliminatingthenegativeemotionalrootsandself-limitingbeliefsystemsthatareembeddedinthesubconsciousmindandare“locked”togetherbyspecificenergycircuits.

CallahanTechniques(r),Ltd.

78-816ViaCarmel

LaQuinta,CA92253

(760)564-1008

http://www.tftrx.com

Callahan TechniquesTM of Thought Field Therapy offers information on professional training,research,products,andotherinformation.

EMDR

P.O.Box51010

PacificGrove,CA93950-6010

(831)372-3900

http://www.emdr.com

InformationsourceaboutEyeMovementDesensitizationandReprocessing,atherapeuticmethodthatusessomeprocessessimilartoenergypsychotherapy.

EmotionalFreedomTechniquesTM

GaryH.Craig

P.O.Box398

TheSeaRanch,CA95497

(707)785-2848

http://www.net-energy.com/index.html

http://www.emofree.com

ThisvariationofThoughtFieldTherapyprovidesasimplifiedversionofthebasic

TFTprocedures.Craig’swebsiteprovidesin-depthinformationonincorporating

TFT/EFTintoone’slife.Featuresthe“PalaceofPossibilities,”anextendedsetofessaysonlivingwellandusingenergypsychotherapymethodsasapartofeliminatingunconsciousobstaclestosuccess.

EnergyDiagnostic&TreatmentMethods(EDxTM)

FredP.Gallo,Ph.D.

40SnyderRoad

Hermitage,PA16148

http://www.energypsych.com

Comprehensive energypsychotherapy services andprofessional-level training aswell as publicpresentationsonThoughtEnergyTherapy.

TapasAcupressureTechniqueTM

P.O.Box7000–379RedondoBeach,CA90277http://www.tat-intl.com

TAT(TapasAcupressureTechnique)isanacceleratedinformationprocessingtechnique,usefulinthe treatmentof traumatic stress,allergic reactions,and fixednegativeemotional states.BasedonTraditionalChineseMedicine.

ThoughtEnergySynchronizationTherapiesTMTEST(r)

GregNicosia,Ph.D.

4927CentreAvenue

Pittsburgh,PA15213

(412)683-8378

Comprehensive energypsychotherapy services andprofessional-level training aswell as publicpresentationsonThoughtEnergyTherapy.

Acupuncture/Acupressure

AcupressureInstitute

1533ShattuckAvenueBerkeley,CA94709(510)845-1059

http://www.healthy.net/acupressure

Offers comprehensive acupressure trainings in traditional Asian bodywork and massage tostudentsfromaroundtheworld.

AmericanAcademyofMedicalAcupuncture

5820 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 500 Los Angeles, CA 90036 (323) 937-5514http://www.medicalacupuncture.org

AmericanAssociationofOrientalMedicine

433FrontStreetCatasauqua,PA18032(610)433-2448http://www.aaom.org

NationalAcupuncture&OrientalMedicineAlliance

14637StarrRoadSEOlalla,WA98359(206)851-6896http://www.healthy.net/naoma

Kinesiology

Edu-Kinesthetics,Inc.

P.O.Box3395Ventura,CA93006-3395TollFree:(888)388-9898http://www.braingym.com

Information about educational kinesiology as applied by Paul E. Dennison, Ph.D., includingdescriptionsofhisuseof specific exercises to assist in improvingdyslexia andotherproblemsthataffectlearning.

TouchforHealth(r)KinesiologyAssociation

11262WashingtonBoulevardCulverCity,CA90230(800)466-8342http://www.tfh.org

The Touch for Health(r) Kinesiology Association was formed to serve the needs of TFHinstructors and practitioners in the United States and to promote TFH as a system ofcomplementaryhealthcare.Avaluableresourcefor informationaboutkinesiologyandmanualmuscletesting.

Homeopathy/ridturopathy

AmericanAssociationofNaturopathicPhysicians

601ValleyStreet,Suite105

Seattle,WA98109

(206)298-0126

http://aanp.net

http://www.naturopathic.org

AresourceforhomeopathicphysiciansandTotalBodyModification.

HomeopathicAcademyofNaturopathicPhysicians

12132SEFosterPlace

Portland,OR97266

(503)761-3298

www.healthy.net/hanp/hanp1.htm

AresourceforhomeopathicphysiciansandTotalBodyModification.

JournalofNaturopathicMedicine

http://www.healthy.net/naturopathicjournal

NambudraipadAllergyEliminationTechniques

http://www.naet.comorhttp://www.allergy2000.comAnothermethodof eliminatingallergiesandtoxins.

NationalCenterforHomeopathy

801 N Fairfax Street, Suite 306 Alexandria,VA 22314 (703) 548-7790http://www.homeopathic.org

TotalBodyModification

Thisisamethodoftreatingallergiesandchemicalsensitivitiesdevelopedbychiro—

practorVictorFrank.

Referralsmaybeobtainedfrom(800)243-4826orfurtherinformationonthewebat:

http://www.healthpyramid.com/bio-energetic/tbmbrochure.html

Hypnosis

AmericanPsychotherapyandMedicalHypnosisAssociation

210S.SierraStreet,SuiteB-100Reno,NV89501

http://members.xoom.com/Hypnosis

Thisprofessionalassociationtofurthertheethicalapplicationandresearchinhypnosisoffersareferralservicetoqualifiedclinicianswhousehypnosis.

AmericanSocietyofClinicalHypnosis

33W.GrandAvenue,Suite402ChicagoIL60610(312)645-9810

Thisprofessionalassociationtofurthertheethicalapplicationandresearchinhypnosisoffersareferralservicetoqualifiedclinicianswhousehypnosis.

Biofeedback

AssociationofAppliedPsychophysiologyandBiofeedback

10200West44thAvenue,Suite304WheatRidge,CO80033(800)477-8892

TheBiofeedbackFoundationofEurope(BFE)

P.O.Box213440AAWoerdenTheNetherlands.(41)31348482757http://www.bfe.org

BFE’spurposeistopromoteagreaterawarenessofbiofeedbackthroughtrainingworkshopsandeducatingcliniciansintheuseofbiofeedbacktechniquesandtechnology.

SubtleEnergy

BiomagneticTechnologies,Inc.

9727PacificHeightsBoulevard

SanDiego,CA92121

(858)453-6300

http://www.biomagtech.com

Manufacturerofmagneto-encephalographs(MEGs),whichareabletoidentify

uniquequalitiesofbrainactivity.

CaliforniaInstituteforHumanScience

701 Garden View Court Encinitas, CA 92024 (760) 634-1771, Fax: (760) 634-1772http://www.cihs.edu

A center for higher learning, research, andprofessional skill buildingwithin thedisciplines ofgeneral psychology, human science, and clinical-counseling psychology. Founded by engineerHiroshiMotoyama,Ph.D.,theinventoroftheAMIdeviceformeasuringmeridianenergy.

InstituteofNoeticSciences

475GateFiveRoad,Suite300Sausalito,CA94965Generalinquiries(415)331-5650Fax(415)331-5673http://www.noetic.org

Aresearchfoundation,educationalinstitution,andorganizationdedicatedtostudyofthemindandthediversewaysofunderstandingknowledgeandconsciousnessincludingresearchintotheworkingsandpowersofthemind,perceptions,beliefs,attention,intention,andintuition.

International Society for the Study of Subtle Energy and EnergyMedicine

11005RalstonRoad,#100Arvada,CO80004(303)425-4625http://www.issseem.org

AlternativeHealth

Ener-G-PolariTProducts,Inc.

P.O.Box2449Prescott,AZ86302–2449(800)593-6374

http://www.energpolarit.com/Newsletter1.htm

ThiswebsiteprovidesinformationandproductsbasedontheworkofWayneCook.Cookspentthirty-threeyearsstudyingthebody’senergyfieldsandtheirrelationshiptohealth.In1964hedeveloped amethod of enhancing the body’s natural electrical field, thereby neutralizing thenegativeeffectsproducedbyrandomelectromagneticradiation.Cook’sexercisesformthebasisofsomeofthecorrectiveproceduresofESM,TFT,andotherenergytherapies.

EMRadiationProtection

AdvancedLivingTechnology2442MeadeDenver,CO80211(800)317-9969

http://www.advancedliving.com

Distributor of devices made by Clarus Systems Group, designed to neutralize the effects ofelectromagneticradiationonthebody.Thesedeviceshavebeenfoundtore-duceoreliminatethe disruptive influence of ambient EMF radiation that can cause polarity disorganization andpolarityreversalsrelatedtothebody’senergysystems.TheauthorshaveusedtheQ-LinkandtheClearWaveProfessionalofficeunitswithnoticeablypositiveresults.

HealthWorldOnline

Acomprehensiveresourceforalternativehealthinformation.http://www.healthy.net

HeartMathLLC

14700WestParkAvenue

BoulderCreek,CA95006

(831)338-8700

http://www.heartmath.com/welcome.html

This research foundation and its training programs provide human performance tools andtechnologyspecificallydesignedtoincreaseproductivitythroughenhancedjobsatisfaction,goalclarity, and improved health by reducing tension, burnout, physical symptoms of stress, andnegativemoods.

TheInternationalAcademyofBioenergeticPractitioners

2160WestDrakeAvenue,SuiteA-1FortCollins,CO80526(970)224-2850http://www.iabp.net

Bioenergetics offers a bridge between conventional and complementary medicine, because itinterrelatesmanyofthecurrenthealthfields(andsciences)andincorporatestraininginChinesemedicine,biofeedback,holisticandnaturalhealth,herbs,homeopathy,homeotoxicologyandanutritionalapproachtowardwellness.

GaryNull’sNaturalLivingHomePage

http://www.garynull.com

Exploringthenatureandpoliticsofmedicine,health,nutrition,andtheenvironment.

AndrewWeil,M.D.

http://cgi.pathfinder.com/drweilAlternativehealthinformationandproducts.

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INSTANTEMOTIONALHEALING.Copyright©2000byPeterLambrou,Ph.D.,andGeorgePratt,Ph.D.Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any informationstorage and retrieval system,withoutwritten permission from the publisher. For information,addressBroadwayBooks,adivisionofRandomHouse,Inc.

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Thetechniquesoutlinedinthisbookaredesignedtohelpyourestoreemotionalbalanceattimesofdistress.Theauthorsmakenoclaimswithregardtophysicalhealingortothecureofmentalorpsychiatricdisorders.Themethodsinthisbookshouldnotbeusedinplaceofpropermedicalor psychological treatment. If you are having serious physical or emotional problems, it isimportantthatyouseekproperprofessionalassessmentandtreatment.

TheLibraryofCongresshascatalogedthehardcovereditionas:Lambrou,PeterT,1947–Instantemotionalhealing:acupressurefortheemotions/byPeterLambrouandGeorgePratt.—1sted.

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Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex.

1.Mindandbodytherapies.2.Mentalhealth.3.Acupressure.4.Self-management(Psychology)5.Emotions.I.Pratt,GeorgeJ.II.Title.

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