WHAP - COMPARISON ESSAY Thesis Writing INTRO

Law & Order: police procedural & legal drama tv series on NBC - 2nd longest tv series of all time

(after The Simpsons & tied with Gunsmoke) - aired for 20 seasons and had several spin offs - Set and filmed in New York City

Law & Order follows a 2-part approach:

1st 30 min. is the investigation of a crime (usually murder) & apprehension of a suspect by New York City Police Department homicide detectives

2nd 30 min. is the prosecution of the defendant by the Manhattan District Attorney's Office.

Plots are often based on real cases that recently made headlines, although the motivation for the crime and the perpetrator may be different.

How is writing a history essay like "Law & Order?"

How is Law & Order & History Writing Similar?

L&O: 1st Step: Investigate a crime (murder).

2nd: Gather & analyze evidence then ask questions of witnesses, relatives/friends, & persons of interest.

3rd: Identify the criminal who did the crime & form a motive for the crime.

4th: Organize the evidence, interview witnesses, work with the court to prepare for trial.

5th: In the courtroom, make your opening statement: Murder used weapon in location to kill and give brief motive and explanation of evidence that will prove your assertion correct.

6th: Present evidence and call witnesses to verify motive, location, ability to commit the crime, all showing beyond a reasonable doubt that the accused committed the crime.

7th: Closing statement drives home the opening statement and jury is convinced the accused is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.

History Essay: 1st Step: Investigate the prompt (question).

2nd: Gather & analyze evidence then ask questions about what prior knowledge you have about the prompt.

3rd: Identify the answer to the prompt & form a thesis (answer) for the prompt.

4th: Organize the evidence, consider point of view, begin to plan a basic outlined approach to build a convincing solution.

5th: Write your introduction and declare your thesis statement: Answer to the question using a brief introduction to the evidence that will be presented in the essay to prove thesis.

6th: Present the evidence by using a topic sentence and evidence to back it in each paragraph.

7th: Conclude your essay by driving your thesis home in a convincing fashion.

Free-Response: The Comparative Essay

Description: The comparative essay is one of 3 different styles of essay you will be writing this year. It is the simplest in terms of structure but, of course, difficulty varies with the prompt. Your essay needs these elements:

Introduction

3-4 direct comparisons

a conclusion paragraph

And remember:

• You must describe similarities and differences

• And analyze why at least one similarity/difference exists

THE LANGUAGE OF COMPARE AND CONTRAST

Key words commonly used to express comparison include:

like similar as

same in the same way too

both most important have in common

the same as similarly as well as

Key words commonly used to express contrast include:

although yet whereas

however but while

Differ instead unless

Unlike on the contrary contrary to

Even though on the other hand the reverse

Remember, comparing shows how the subjects are alike, and contrasting shows how they’re different.

The dog, like the cat is a household pet.

The dog, unlike the cat, is dependent on its master for affection.

Sometimes both happen in the same sentence.

While the dog and cat both make good household pets, the dog requires more attention than a cat.

Thesis statement: this is the key to the entire essay. Start by brainstorming similarities or differences making sure to go beyond restating the question. Remember a good thesis must:

1) specify the topic

2) answer the whole question asked (similarities and differences, all elements of the prompt)

3) be more specific than the question prompt (the HOW)

4) analyze the cause for differences or reason for similarities (the WHY)

Use the whole introductory paragraph to bring the thesis together.

Body Paragraphs: After your introduction you must fill in the body of your essay. Each paragraph should start with an analytical topic sentence. This topic sentence must link back to and expand on your thesis and contain the essence of the comparison you are trying to make.

If we label our topics of comparison A (Egypt) and B (Mesopotamia) and our points of comparison 1 (political), 2 (religion), and 3 (social) the best way to structure the essay is:

I: 1 (political) (A, Egypt; B, Mesopotamia)

II: 2 (A, B)

III: 3 (A, B)

This allows you to spend the most time actually making and proving your thesis. You may have more comparisons to make depending on the question. Try to make at least 3.

Conclusion: This is the least important piece of the essay but is a great opportunity to gain expanded core points. Try to link the topic of the essay to the broader story of history.

Why are your conclusions important? What does it show us about history as a whole?

What should a thesis be?

A specific argument that answers the question.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Compare the Italian Luigi's Pizza and Tex-Mex Fusion goodness of Torchy's Tacos according to cost, taste, and overall eating experience.

Example Thesis: In comparing pizzas and tacos, they are both similar and different. DO NOT DO THIS!

EXAMPLE QUESTION AND THESIS Compare and contrast the Han Empire during 206 B.C.E.-220 C.E. with the

Spanish empire of the sixteenth century.

The specific argument here would include at least one comparison and one contrast and reference to both the empires and the time frames.

Many students may write:

“There were many similarities and differences between the Han Empire during 206 B.C.E-220 B.C.E. and the Spanish empire of the sixteenth century.”

Unfortunately, this is not good enough for the AP World exam. It is too general and more or less repeats the prompt.

With a simple addition and a bit of tweaking, you can make this thesis work:

“There were many similarities and differences between the Han Empire during 206 B.C.E.- 220 B.C.E. and the Spanish empire of the sixteenth century. One was land-based and the other sea-based yet they both grew rich from conquest of territory outside their boundaries.”

You can make two sentences instead of one from the second sentence:

“There were many similarities and differences between the Han Empire during 206 B.C.E-220 B.C.E and the Spanish empire of the sixteenth century. One was land-based and the other sea-based. They both grew rich from conquest of territory outside their boundaries.”

For several hundred years the Mongols ruled over both Russia and China. After casting off Mongol domination, both areas began a process of political and cultural recovery. Compare and contrast these processes in Russia and China.

1) Note the VERBS in this essay prompt: compare and contrast. This means you must write a thesis that expresses what China and Russia had in common and where they were different. In short, your thesis must address the comparison.

2) Your thesis (and essay) should stay within the parameters of the question or prompt. An essay on the Columbian exchange should not deal with the Swahili Coast of Africa .

3) Next, your thesis should state an opinion. Be bold. Do not merely restate the question or one of its assumptions. To argue a point, you must first of all have one. The following is not an acceptable thesis; it simply restates information given by the prompt:

NO NO! Russia and China both gained freedom from Mongol domination.

4) Your thesis should contain the categories that you will use in the essay as evidence.

ANOTHER NO! NO! The recovery of Russia and China after the Mongols

had many similarities and differences.

The above sentence is vague, wimpy, and is really just a restatement of an assumption in the prompt. It is a fluttering of loose ends needing to be nailed down onto concrete categories.

Better When Russia and China recovered from Mongol domination they had similar political goals but different cultural goals.

This thesis is getting there. It at least declares in general categories how the paths of China and Russia were different and how they were similar after the Mongols. It has broken down (analyzed) these things into categories that lend themselves to a well defined essay. But it could be better.

Note the difference between the above thesis and the one below:

Best While both Russia and China built strong centralized governments after breaking free from the Mongols, Russia imitated the culture and technology of Europe while China built upon its own foundations in isolation.

Think about this thesis for a moment.

It directly addresses the comparison (tells what they have in common and where they were different.) It contains the categories (political and cultural) on which the writer will hang relevant historical facts, and the terms (foreign influence and isolationism) on which the comparisons will be made. These categories will form the paragraphs of the essay.

This thesis is a verbal engine sufficient to drive the type of essays that could generate an 8 or a 9 on your APWH test, providing you accomplish the other thesis requirements.

Comparative Structure for Essay

I. Introduction: Thesis & Roadmap

II. Body of Essay (Each paragraph should include):

A. 1st Sentence for each body paragraph should be a comparative (a direct comparison sentence)

B. 2nd sentence then explains/analysis the direct comparison in the first sentence

C. Then subsequent sentences in the paragraph should provide at least 2 info statements/evidence in each paragraph.

V. Conclusion

Your assignment is to apply the information in this lecture to the writing prompt you were given that asks you to analyze the similarities and differences between life in Mesopotamia and Egypt.