EARS WIDE OPENTen Kernels for Better Listening

ENGAGE

To listen is an effort, and just to hear is no merit. A duck hears also.

Igor Stravinsky

Recognize listening is work!

To do it well, you need to focus on others and not yourself.

STOP TALKING

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.

Wilson Mizner

Be quiet.

Having a hard time with this?

Touch the roof of your mouth with your tongue.

Photo: Kristy Hall

PUT THE PHONE DOWN

It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Texting while others are talking is distracting and RUDE.

Period.

Don’t do it.

LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE

I like to listen.  I have learnt a great deal from listening carefully.  Most people never listen.  

Ernest Hemingway

Practice good eye contact.

But remember, more than 20 seconds at a time is “death-stare” territory.

DON’T INTERRUPT 

Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn't hold much water outside of  Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor.     Hugh Elliott

Unless the other person’s hair is on fire, let him finish speaking.

Photo: Sean Loyless

PARAPHRASE WHAT YOU HEAR

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Robert McCloskey

Repeat what others say.

Doing so shows interest and confirms understanding.

Photo: Thomas Hawk  

A FACE IS WORTH 1000 WORDS

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

Use appropriate facial expressions.

Nods, smiles, and similar gestures show you are paying attention.

ASK QUESTIONS

If you spend more time asking appropriate questions rather than giving answers or opinions, your listening skills will increase.

Brian Koslow

Stay engaged by asking: What? Where? When? Who? Why? How?

Photo: Orin Zebest

WAIT YOUR TURN

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

Fran Lebowitz

Be fully engaged in the moment.

Do your best to be present rather than focused on what you will say next.

PRACTICE

Most of the successful people I've known are the ones who do more listening than talking.

Bernard Baruch

Remember good habits develop from consistent practice.

Start each day committed to better listening.