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Slide 2 Slide 3 Rumor Control Chris Betcher Assistant Director for Regional Communities Alumni and Parent Relations Slide 4 The Truth Is Corday Goddard, Associate Dean for Student Development Slide 5 The Parent Trap Slide 6 PushMe ........PullYou We will ask you to...But also to... Let us do our workPartner with us Let students grow upStay involved with them Let us hold students accountable for their choices Trust that well share with you appropriately, as were able to Slide 7 At the end of the day . We all want the same thing for your student: They consistently find themselves in environments where they can be successful They learn as much outside the classroom as theyre learning inside the classroom They learn to see bumps in the road as opportunities to learn and grow Slide 8 This Morning... 1.Car Talk 2.The First-Year W 3.Helpful vs. Hovering 4.Parent Quiz 5.Sharing Our Stories Slide 9 The Hope & Scope of the First Year Summer Orientation May 2015 Slide 10 Hope & Scope: The W Late August May 2015 Mid- March Early February Mid- October Slide 11 HELICOPTER PARENTS Slide 12 Helicopter, Explained Told to Be Involved for 12+ Years Connected 24/7/365 Economic Investment How will SNC treat my child? Intervening Has Worked My parents are my best friends Boomers, Gen X, & Millenials Ozzy Says Slide 13 But Wait, Theres More Lawnmower Bulldozer Blackhawk Blue Angel Stealth Stroller In-Denial Lion Over-Involved Wolf Mosquito The Happiest Kid on Campus, Cohen, 2010 Slide 14 Hovering? Helping? HOVERING? Minute-by-Minute Texts Decorating Every Inch of Residence Hall Room Angry Calls to Administrators Making Decisions for Them HELPFUL? Occasional Contact Conversation About Living in the Room Dialogue about Past Success; Coaching Making Decisions with Them Slide 15 Are YOU a Helicopter Parent?* Answer: IM not... But I know someone ELSE who is... & its the ROOMMATES PARENTS! * Adapted from The Fine Art of Letting Go, Newsweek, May 22, 2006 Slide 16 The Helicopter Quiz Will You Be a Helicopter Parent? Slide 17 1. How often will you communicate with your student? A.Weekly, at a Designated Time B.Two or Three Times a Week C.At Least Daily D.Do Facebook Status Updates Every 90 Seconds Count? Slide 18 2. How Many Professors Do You Plan to Contact on Your Students Behalf? A.None B.One or Two C.Three D.How Many Are There? Slide 19 3. My Student Athlete Isnt Getting Enough Playing Time. I Will... A.Pat my student on the back for hanging in there B.Tell my student to talk to the coach C.Notify ESPN D.Smear the coach on Twitter (#coachclueless!) Slide 20 4. Your Student is Having Trouble Writing a Paper, so... A.You listen and sympathize B.You suggest a visit with the professor and/or Writing Center C.You read whats been written so far and give constructive suggestions D.You download a copy of a similar paper for them to submit as their own Slide 21 5. When Visiting, How Much Do You Plan to Help? A.Meet me on the sidewalk! Say Yes to the Mess! B.You take out the trash & fumigate with Febreeze C.Vacuum, laundry, windows, light painting D.Full maid services, mints on the pillow, turn-down service, a soft lullaby, and a good-night kiss Slide 22 6. Your student hates their roommate. What do you do? A.Remind them of all the other times theyve successfully solved problems before B.Encourage her/him talk to the RA or Hall Director for coaching C.Storm the Housing Office to find out what the Senior Director is going to do about this D.Call the roommates parents those HELICOPTER PARENTS! and tell them whats what! Slide 23 7. Your student violates a minor conduct policy. You... A.Discuss the notion of choices and consequences again B.Show up at your students room unannounced C.Dear Editor, St. Norbert Times D.Call Anderson Cooper asap! Slide 24 8. On move-in day, I will leave A. One hour before the first scheduled student activity B. Right after I make sure my student gets a healthy dinner in Michels Commons C. October-ish? D. Theres a really cute little house for sale right next to the Library! Slide 25 Howd You Do? All As: Parents Hall of Fame! Mostly As:Honor Roll Mostly Bs:Youre Doing Well Mostly Cs:May be time to re-think your college habits Mostly Ds:Helicopter Parents are People, Too! or Call Corday or Chris or re-read the list: Slide 26 Blunders Well-Meaning Parents Make Using the cell phone to provide wake up calls Asking for copies of syllabi to provide reminders about due dates. Expecting to hear from their child every day (and calling the college in a panic if they dont.) The iConnected Parent: Staying Close to Your Kids in College (and Beyond) While Letting Them Grow UpThe iConnected Parent: Staying Close to Your Kids in College (and Beyond) While Letting Them Grow Up (Free Press), Barbara K. Hofer and Abigail Sullivan Moore Slide 27 Blunders Well-Meaning Parents Make Responding to a childs complaint about a professor by contacting the professor. Using their childs e-mail to register their child for classes & other college business. Editing college papers and assignments by email. The iConnected Parent: Staying Close to Your Kids in College (and Beyond) While Letting Them Grow UpThe iConnected Parent: Staying Close to Your Kids in College (and Beyond) While Letting Them Grow Up (Free Press), Barbara K. Hofer and Abigail Sullivan Moore Slide 28 Blunders Well-Meaning Parents Make Becoming overly involved in the ups and downs of a childs social/romantic life. Reading a childs Facebook site constantly and asking personal questions. Getting involved in ordinary roommate conflicts by contacting the roommate, the roommates parents, resident adviser, etc. The iConnected Parent: Staying Close to Your Kids in College (and Beyond) While Letting Them Grow Up (Free Press), Barbara K. Hofer and Abigail Sullivan Moore The iConnected Parent: Staying Close to Your Kids in College (and Beyond) While Letting Them Grow Up Slide 29 Part 2: Sharing Our Stories Chris Betcher Assistant Director for Regional Communities Alumni & Parent Relations Slide 30 Part 3: Making Connections 1.What questions do you have? 2.What do you need from us? Slide 31 Resources Chris Betcher, Alumni & Parent Relations, 403-3021 Corday Goddard, Student Development, 403-1351