family times wellington autumn 2015

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A news magazine and online resource for families www.familytimes.co.nz Win with Us on Facebook

8 Win Win WinCompetitions, giveaways

and kids’ games4 Step-parenting

Create your own role within the family

7 My child is a bullyDealing with disgraceful

behaviour

2 www.familytimes.co.nz

Managing your child’s moodWe all are partial to different moods, and kids are no different. But depending on temperament, moods can change with gentle ebb and flow - or a giant swing.

Kids’ moods can change in a flash – one minute they are happy, then bored;

cranky, then sweet. With babies and toddlers, those mood swings are usually related to need: the need for food, a nappy change, comfort or sleep. But as kids begin to grow, they start to experience emotion and moods. It’s what they do with those emotions and moods that can set them up for a life of emotional stability or vulnerability.Helping your child to learn about their moods in a healthy way will enable them to make healthy choices, according to Carl Pickhardt, author of Surviving Your Child’s Adolescence.“No matter what your child is feeling, you first job as a parent is to empathise,” said Pickhardt. “Let your child know that you care what they are feeling and you have a sense of what they are feeling.”Also, helping them identify exactly what it is that they are feeling- or figuring out why they are in a bad mood – will teach them to look for the source of the problem and to resolve it. It’s about helping your child learn a key skill: How to bring herself back up when she’s feeling down, said Pickhardt, and teaching her how to do that it in healthy ways; i.e. not eating junk food or binge watching television to numb the feeling. After all, everybody gets

sad, mad, or upset sometimes; the key is knowing that you don’t have to stay that way, and how to find happiness again. Teaching those skills from a young age en-sures that your child has an open line of com-munication with you, and feels free to discuss their feelings or mood with you as they em-bark on preteen years, and even teen years. Here are a few basic emotions to help your child identify from a young age:

1 Sadness. Sadness is a normal emotion that human beings feel, for a variety of reasons. Try to talk with your child to iden-tify the source of their sadness. Start the conversation by trying to label the emotion: “I notice that Tommy didn’t play with you today. Is that making you feel sad?” Sadness may not be resolved in a moment, but talk-ing – or even going out for a walk - certainly takes the sting out of it.

2 Anger. Some kids have a more explosive temper than others, but even those who are quietly angry experience the stress of this emotion. Find out why your child is angry, and ask him what would make him feel better. For example, if another child snatched his toy, it’s not okay to snatch it back, but perhaps ask for it to be returned. Don’t tell him that he shouldn’t

be angry – suppressing anger can be dangerous, but learning to manage it and to let go is healthy.

3 Disappointment. Things don’t always go the way that we want. Maybe your child doesn’t get that part in the school play or a position on the soccer team. It’s impor-tant to acknowledge those feelings, and the fact that we don’t always get what we want. Allow the disappointment and the hurt, and teach them not to pretend that they don’t care, but how to focus on another goal or desire and to keep trying.

“Teaching those skills from a young age

ensures that your child has an open line of

communication with you.””

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Features2 Your child’s bad mood Help your child learn to deal with emo-

tions.4 Step-parenting Forge your own role as a step-parent.

6 Bonding with your baby Parent-baby attachment isn’t always an

automatic experience.

7 My child is a bully Practical tips on how to change your

child’s bullying behaviour.9 Board games for kids Check out the latest and greatest board

games for kids.

11 Science at home Explore your own backyard and discover

autumn science wonders.12 Birthdays The battle to keep up with the Jones.12 Growing pains What are growing pains and how can you

help ease them in your child?13 Autumn camping spots The Department of Conservation recom-

mends stunning autumn vistas.14 Quality time How to make family time in a busy world.14 Preteen corner Eva-Maria talks step-parenting tips to win

preteens.

Kids Corner8 Kids’ corner Competitions, games and reviews.

inside this issue

ContentsI was staggered when I read the statistic that as many as one in four New Zealand families are blended families.

Then my next thought was; why is there not more material available for step-

parents, and a greater focus on the specific parenting challenges that come with being a step-parent?Parenting itself has challenges. But step-parenting comes with a whole other set of baggage, whether the situation comes about through separation of biological parents, or death of a spouse. Having not been a step-parent myself, I can’t write from personal experience. I have, however, been a stepchild of sorts, at least when visiting my father who remarried a lovely woman who already had children of her own. In some ways, there was not so much pressure on that situation because it was always a temporary visit and I liked my father’s wife, but there was still definitely that feeling of, “where do I fit in this family,” and “these kids are not entitled to my dad’s time.” Of course, kids’ brains are not fully developed at a young age and able to process the situation from a logical perspective. Therefore, their actions are often purely from a self-preservation perspective and steeped in emotions that they may not be able to fully label or express. As such, they don’t appreciate the immense challenges that the situation presents for the step-parent. But that’s the thing about being the adult – you get to take all the responsibility and in return may receive belligerence, the silent treatment, or the dreaded, “you’re not my

real mother,” (or father, as the case may be.)What I have learned through writing our main feature article about step-parenting this issue is that step-parenting is a very different experience for everyone. Some become step-parents when the child is quite young, and the adjustment isn’t as difficult. Some are lucky enough to be in a situation where the biological parents’ split was reasonably amicable, and there is not the same resentment from the biological mother toward the step-mother, or biological father toward the step-father. Stereotypes, of any sort, simply don’t cut it when it comes to step-parenting.For an insight into a step-parents’ world, and some great expert advice, check out our step-parenting article this issue. Plus keep turning those pages for more parenting, health and education articles, as well as lots of opportunities to win with our competitions and giveaways. Enjoy.

From the editor

Resource information10 Calendar of events 11 Entertainment14 School term dates

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Advert Production Target Press Production Office

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Office Manager Raelyn HayExecutive Assistant Jackie Pithie

Distribution Printed and distributed quarterly approximately two weeks before each major school holiday. 35,659 distributed through early childhood centres, primary and intermediate schools, public libraries and selected medical and midwifery premises. The opinions expressed in this publication are not those of the publisher unless indicated otherwise. No part of this publication may be reprinted without the expressed written permission of the publisher. Family Times is not responsible for unsolicited material. Family Times is funded and published solely through the support of its advertisers. They support us, so please support them.

Contributing WritersMarcia Johnson, Eva-Maria,

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Family Publishers (NZ), P.O. Box 36-004, Christchurch 8146, NZPh. 03-355-9186 0800285 510 Fax: 03 3559 183 Mobile. 0274-359-414

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We all grow up with fairy-tales of handsome princes, blushing maidens and happily ever after. But what if you find yourself cast as the evil stepmother?

Estimates suggest that up to a quarter of New Zealand families are remarriages

or new partnerships with existing children. Research also suggests that many of those new relationships won’t stand the stress of the new family unit, and will dissolve within the first few years – especially if the new family unit is established without forethought and preplanning.

Evil step-parent?Whether you are a step-mother or step-father, you will have stereotypes to deal with. A new step-parent often enters the new family unit with a mixture of fervour and trepidation, says Christchurch-based family psychologist Prue Fanselow-Brown. But, their determination and striving to avoid the pitfalls of the archetypical “evil” stereotype often ends in tears and failure: sometimes none of their own doing, and sometimes misguided notions of how the child or children will respond to them. Step-children have undergone the loss (either through death or separation) of a biological parent, and even if that parent is not what you might regard as a good parent – if they are a criminal, a drug-addict, or simply a dead-beat – the child will usually retain strong feelings

of loyalty to that parent. The result, says Fanselow-Brown, is that a sense of betrayal may accompany any positive feelings that the child has towards the step-parent. “I think step parents need to be quite patient and lower their expectations a bit in a new relationship. “Step parents coming into that sort of relationship need to be very aware of how that feels for the child, to see their parent overtly affectionate with somebody new. That sort of affection is best to be kept away from the children initially. Be a respectable friend who will respect their needs. If you’re aware and patient, it can go very well.”In extreme cases, the child may view the step-parent with suspicion, or as a threat to their ties with their biological parent. They may try to sabotage the relationship between their parent and step-parent, act-out with behaviour issues, or seek to re-establish the relationship between biological parents. All of this is within the realm of possibilities, and couples about to embark on a journey as a new blended family need to be aware of it.

The role of a step-parentRather than try to be a parent, step-parents need to establish their own role according to Fanselow-Brown. Primarily, at least early on, the step-parent’s goal is to be a warm friend to the child, she says – keeping a distance so that the child has a space in which to observe the step-parent and approach when comfort allows.That’s a strategy that has worked for step-parent Geni McCallum. Geni has been a step-mother to her seven-and-a-half-year old step-

daughter for five years. She says that being a step-parent has been one of the hardest definitions that she has ever struggled with. “I think the most important thing going into it was knowing that I wasn’t going into it to be-come a mother - she has one of those already. I’m just me; she’s always called me by my nickname “Gen” and continues to do so.”

DisciplineDiscipline can be a dicey subject between two partners even in their first marriage, with their own biological children. A parent’s own upbringing, the influence of

grandparents and friends, and a parent’s own individual preferences can lead to conflict when it comes to how to discipline a child. Add a step-parent into the mix, and you’ve got a recipe for catastrophe, if it’s not talked about and decided on in advance.Fanselow-Brown recommends that parents in blended families decide on support, rules, consequences and household tasks in advance, and also how to encourage adherence. She says that the “hard stuff” happens when punishments or consequences are required for defiance or failure to comply. In this case, she says that the biological parent

Being a step-parentfeature story

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must adopt the lead role of disciplinarian, with the step-parent in a supporting role. Initially at least, the step-parent can perhaps stand beside the biological parent, or behind them, and nod in agreement, wordlessly.Over time, the step-parent’s role in discipline may change as they build the child’s trust and as the child begins to feel secure in the longevity of the new relationship.

Geni says that has been her experience.“I did wait for a while before I began enforc-ing rules at the beginning because it wasn’t my place to come in and change her life around.

I didn’t ever let myself be treated badly or without respect though; it’s important to stand up for yourself whilst you’re building the relationships in your family.“Just like any parent, my role changes and our relationship is fluid - it took me a while to find my place but I love it now.”

Dealing with dislikeAuthor Flora McEvedy was 29 when her boyfriend introduced her to his two daughters, ages six and two. Although both parties tried, the relationship between her and the girls quickly disintegrated, as she described in an interview with The Telegraph while promoting her book, The Step Parents’ Parachute.“Most of the time, the girls ignored me with studious concentration. But there were also endless scenes - tantrums thrown left, right and centre by both them and me. The girls would stand in my path whenever I

approached their dad, and yelp at our friendly overtures. They’re just kids, I told myself, when they refused to eat the macaroni cheese I had cooked.”She says that she started to “burn with resentment,” because no matter how hard she tried, the situation just got worse and all her attempts to be liked were mercilessly scorned. The turning point for her began when she decided that rather than look to her step-daughters for approval, to turn to a different quarter for reward for the work she was putting in with them.

“It dawned on me that I didn’t have to justify myself to my stepchildren, and that I hadn’t been asked to be a step-parent, but had simply become involved with someone who already had kids. So the obligation is to my partner, alone. I owe it to him to make the best relationship I can with his children. When I sweat and toil to look after a stepchild, what I am actually doing is looking after my relationship with my partner.”As McEvedy began to disengage from her need for acceptance, she found the situation began to turn itself around.

feature story

“Once I abandoned any attempt at friendship, it took root of its own accord. They thawed

visibly, and started to tell me stuff.

The four cornerstones of good step-parentingYou and your partner are a team It is natural to crave inclusion in the elite club of blood relatives, but remember you are not an outsider. You are already in a strong relationship, so don’t shut out the person who introduced you to step-parenthood. Talk to your partner about your anxieties, without criticising the child’s behaviour. Try not to compete with your step-child, and give your partner space to love you and the child separately.

Know your role If step-children take an instant dislike to you, remember they are not biologically programmed to love you. You may bend over backwards to please them, with little or no thanks, but normal social rules do not apply. Even if the step-child seems to be punishing you for simply existing, try to understand that you may always come second to natural parents, but that second place is not so terrible.

Keep rejection at arm’s length The arrival of a step-parent can turn a child’s world upside down. The family

space has been disrupted to make room for someone who is usually seen as an intruder. In self-defence, step-children will try to hurt you because they identify you as the one who has ruined their happiness. Of course it’s difficult being treated like a criminal in your own home, but don’t take their rejection personally. They are probably feeling as paranoid and unsettled as you are.

Your step-children need your love At the start, all you have in common with your step-child is your link with the natural parent. In time, you need to build a direct bond with the child, and, for this, you need to cultivate trust. Even when antagonism has frozen all goodwill, a compliment and a little praise go a long way. However gradually, dedicating yourself to being a positive presence in the life of the step-child will bring stability to your family. *Paraphrased from The Step-Parents’ Parachute: The Four Cornerstones of Good Step-Parenting by Flora McEvedy, available online with Amazon.


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You’ve been waiting nine months for this little bundle of joy to come into your life, and finally, after the pain of labour, your precious little one looks up at you in wonder and expectation. What do you feel in that moment?Many mothers describe the experience as “complete euphoria,” surpassing any other feeling of love or affection. It’s a special attachment, or bonding, that takes place between mother and child. But not all births – or all bonding experiences – happen that way.

What is bonding?Bonding refers to the special attachment that forms between a mother and father and their new baby. That bond is what sends parents rush-ing into their newborn’s room in the middle of the night at the slightest whimper. It’s also what makes parents want to instinctively care for and nurture their child, and attend to the variety of cries that they exert to express their needs.

How is bonding formed?The hormone oxytocin, which is released during pregnancy and in greater amounts during labour, helps to create a feeling of euphoria and love for your newborn. You may feel an overwhelming urge to protect your baby from the first moment you see her. And while you’re savouring the high, the feel-good

hormone dopamine that’s coursing through your body is also helping your baby to attach emotionally to you.

When bonding isn’t formed immediatelyNot every mother feels an instinctive bond with her child at birth. In fact, studies have shown that about 20% of new mums (and dads) feel no such bond in the hours immediately following delivery. Sometimes it takes weeks, or even months, before that bond is secured. The reason could be a sick baby in intensive care that you are unable to hold, a multiple birth, an adoption, feeling overwhelmed at the arrival of your baby, sheer exhaustion after childbirth, a traumatic birth, or any number of factors.It’s quite normal, and experts say that it’s really important not to feel guilty over something that you have no control over. In fact, increased stress levels over the issue are counter-productive to relaxing into a relationship with your child.

How to create – or strengthen – that bondExperts recommend skin-to-skin touch immediately after birth, for both mum and dad, to start the bonding process. But bonding happens in many ways over time. When you look at your newborn, touch her skin, feed her, and care for her, you’re bonding. Rocking your baby to sleep or stroking her back can establish your new relationship and make her feel more comfortable. When you gaze at your newborn, she will look back at you. In mothers who breastfeed, their baby’s cries will stimulate the

let-down of milk. For many parents, bonding is a byproduct of everyday care giving. You may not even know it’s happening until you observe your baby’s first smile and suddenly realise that you’re filled with love and joy.

The importance of bondingThe parent-child bond is a key factor in the way that your infant’s brain organises itself and influences their social, emotional, intellectual and physical development. A secure bond provides your baby with an optimal foundation for life: eagerness to learn, healthy self-awareness, trust, and consideration for others. An insecure attachment bond – one that fails to meet your infant’s need for safety and understanding – can lead to identity confusion, learning difficulties, and a struggle to relate to others in later life.

Dads and adoptive parentsBonding frequently occurs on a different timetable for dads and adoptive parents, partially because they don’t have the early contact of breastfeeding that many mothers have.There are many ways to start and strengthen that bond, and the earlier the better. Where possible:• Participate in the labour and delivery of

your child.• Feeding: where baby isn’t being breast- fed,

bottle feeding (either formula or expressed breast milk) helps establish a bond.

• Read or sing to baby.• Give baby a bath.• Mirror baby’s movements.

• Mimic baby’s cooing and other vocalisations — the first efforts at communication.

• Use a front-baby carrier during routine activities.

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When your child is the bullyFew parents ever expect the call: your child’s school principal wants to talk to you about your child’s bullying behaviour.

For most parents, the reaction is one of disbelief, ranging from “It can’t be

my child,” to “Maybe the situation has been manipulated by the other child,” to “There must have been extreme mitigating circumstances.” Horror and embarrassment is a normal reaction according The Parenting Place creative producer and presenter John Cowan.“But not always... some parents justify their child’s actions. Some see bullying as a normal and even useful part of human life and others see the persecution as being justified. By all means, emotionally support your child but that does not mean minimising the offensiveness of bullying.”No parent wants to learn the truth that their child is displaying behaviour that belittles, hurts, or abuses other children. The situation raises fear, anxiety, and defensiveness – after all, aren’t children a reflection of their parents?Cowan says not always.“All kids make mistakes. Bullying is a mistake: it is a kid trying on a dud strategy, coupled with some immature logic and immature impulse control. Therefore, any child could be a bully.”

As kids begin school, parents are no longer the sole influence around their lives. Kids have unsupervised time with other kids, and parents are not around to witness - let alone monitor - their child’s behaviour. However, experts say that it is important not to justify your child’s behaviour because of your own fear or sense of shame or failure. There can be many reasons behind bullying behaviour that may not be self-evident from the surface. Author and educator Rosalind Wiseman, who wrote the book Queen Bees and Wannabees, which inspired the movie Mean Girls, urges parents to understand that: • Roles change. Today the bully. Tomorrow,

the bullied. Children are not fixed in their roles. Depending on the situation, children can just as easily be the bully as they can the target.

• They have a private life. Parents must assume and accept that they won’t know everything that goes on with their child.

• Kids have two sides. Children will act differently at home than they will at school.

• You’re still a good parent. There are many reasons why parents aren’t aware of their child’s inappropriate behaviour, and it’s not always because the parent is irresponsible.

So, if you’ve just received that call from the school principal, the first thing to do is to take a deep breath, take a moment to process what you’ve just heard, and be grateful that you have been alerted. That at least gives you a chance to address the issue at what is

hopefully an early stage. Cowan recommends the following course of action to take with your child:

1 Address the issue while supporting the child. Even as you are telling them off (and you should!) let them know that your main disappointment is not that they are “bad” but that you are upset because you know they are a good kid and capable of better behaviour. It may be appropriate to set penalties and wind back trust around technology that has been used for bullying but let them know, even as you are removing the trust, that you looking forward to trusting them again.

2 If the child doesn’t know already, you should leave them in no doubt that bullying is completely unacceptable. Express it in terms of rules (kids

understand rules): no hitting, no rude or threatening talk or texts, etc.

3 Displace the need for bullying by helping your child build their self esteem in healthier ways – opportunities to play to their strength, feeding back to them about their good qualities, etc.

4 Engineer opportunities for them to mix in more positive groups to form new friendships where bullying probably isn’t part of the group culture (e.g. sports, scouts, youth groups, hobby clubs etc).

5 Challenge the attitudes of intolerance that made him think the victim deserved bullying. Instead, encourage a culture of “heroism;” intervening to defend and protect in a heroic way.

6 If appropriate, seek ways that amends could be made with the victim.

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We welcome letters to the editor. If you would like to comment on something you have read in Family Times, email [email protected]. Letters may be edited for space restraints or legal reasons.

Dear editor,I just wanted to say thank you for so eloquently putting across your belief in the “real” meaning of Christmas in your editor’s letter in Issue 60. I love that you have expressed your love for all parts ofChristmas; the fun, lights, joy of it all, but also to pause and remember the real reason for the season. I love it all too and make my own advent calendar each year so there are days when we share our favourite carol with each other and sing and dance to them, and others days where we read the “Christmas Story” and put up our nativity scene on a window (which I printed and coloured myself due to lack of such resources). Great to have a balance of everything.Thanks heaps,Rochelle

Dear editor, I agree with Dr Annick Masselot’s call for New Zealand to have “a conversation about reproduction and how best to support families.” However, I was concerned by some of the assumptions that underlay other comments in the article.She asserts that the reason for maternity leave is to “recover from giving birth.” That was certainly not my primary purpose in taking it - rather it was to care of my baby! To love and nurture it, and to rest myself when I could.At the conclusion of the article we read that “the main thing is that there should be choices for people.” Perhaps this is the “main thing,” but I would like to see some research to support this statement. Perhaps choices are what best leads to the wellbeing of families, but I suspect not. It seems likely to me that there are other more important factors - allowing that the well-being of families is the key issue we are discussing - such as secure loving bonds between infant and the primary caregiver (usually the mother), and warm support for

parents struggling to deal with the needs of a newborn, which is so very difficult at times.Furthermore, I consider myself a feminist and hope my daughters - and son - will grow up to call themselves feminists too. But I do think that parenting is still, and will ever be, a gendered concept. I am my children’s mother, and I delight in that role. The way I love and nurture my children, and family as a whole, is different from the way their father loves and develops them - and I think that is wonderful.Eliza BartlettAro ValleyWellington

Letters to the EditorWelcome to Kids’ Time at Family Times. Enjoy the fun activities and

competitions. For competitions, enter online by visiting www.familytimes.co.nz and click on the competitions link.

Looking for some rainy day activities for your children? Click on the For Kids section on our website for answers and for further activities your children can print out and complete.

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To celebrate the launch of Spongebob Squarepants: Sponge out of Water, we have four of these fantastic prize packs from Paramount pictures to give away:Each prize pack contains:1 x Spongebob in-season double pass (two seats each)1 x Spongebob bath plug1 x Spongebob ice lolly moulds1 x Spongebob waterproof speaker1 x Spongebob ball gameCompetition closes 14 April 2015 – visit www.familytimes.co.nz to enter.

Win delicious Edible Blooms

Edible Blooms New Zealand offers a unique twist on flowers and gift hampers. Their range of chocolate flower bouquets, fresh fruit bouquets, cake pop blooms and gourmet gift baskets can be ordered easily online and delivered New Zealand wide. Created with top quality ingredients and packing a real “wow” factor, they make perfect gifts. www.edibleblooms.co.nz is giving you the opportunity to win one of four of their gorgeous Happy Blooms valued at $79. Visit www.familytimes.co.nz to enter the draw. Competition entries close 14 April 2015.

ACROSS

1. Goat’s chin bristles

3. Go up a ladder or stairs

7. Hits with foot

8. Story opening, ‘... upon a time’

9. One, two, buckle my ...

11. Supermarket

13. Kitchen sink fittings

17. Sleep in a tent

19. The sixth month of the year

20. French way to say goodbye

21. Sharp spike on a rose bush

22. Spotted pattern, ... dots

DOWN

1. Breakfast rasher served with eggs

2. Garden leaf scraper

4. Boy and girl, or lad and ...

5. Bread maker

6. Sound that bounces back

10. Jump on one leg

12. ... or her

14. A group of eight musicians

15. Dive into a pool and ...

16. Striped African mammal

18. Gloves and shoes are sold in a ...

19. Japanese martial art


Tim Driver from Comics Compulsion tips off Family Times on the latest and greatest kids’ board games.

Castle PanicThe forest is filled with all sorts of monsters. They watched and waited as you built your castle and trained your soldiers, but now they’ve gathered their army and are marching out of the woods. Can you work with your friends to defend your castle against the horde, or will the monsters tear down your walls and destroy the precious castle towers? Castle Panic is a cooperative, light strategy game for one to six players ages 10 and up. Players must trade cards, hit and slay monsters, and plan strategies together to keep their castle towers intact. The players either win or lose together in a great game for families, but in the end only one player will be declared the master slayer! Even the youngest member can play as it’s a cooperative and mum and dad can help out without changing the game.A typical game runs 30-40 minutes, RRP $65.

King of TokyoKing of Tokyo is a Richard Garfield game for two to six players, in which you play mutant monsters, gigantic robots and other aliens,

all of whom are happily whacking each other in order to become the one and only King of Tokyo. Play a GigaMonster on a rampage and destroying everything in his way! Roll the dice to get the best combinations to heal yourself, to attack, to buy special cards or to gain victory points. It’s up to you to choose the best tactic to become King of Tokyo. The first to gain 20 victory points - or the last monster standing - wins the game.King of Tokyo is a fast playing and quick to set up game. This makes it a perfect game for parents to join in with their kids. I would happily play this with ages eight-plus. RRP $65.

Star Wars X WingIn X-Wing Miniatures Game, you take the role of squad leader and command a group of merciless Imperial or daring Rebel pilots in furious ship-to-ship space combat. Intuitive rules have you fighting in minutes.X-Wing includes everything you need to begin your battles, such as thirteen ship cards (featuring nine Imperial and four Rebel pilots), five upgrade cards, and three fully assembled and painted ships. With the quick-start rules, you can simply select one of the exciting missions, position your ships on the playing space as instructed, and choose your opening move.X-Wing can be played in a variety of ways. Select one of the thrilling missions in the rulebook for a narrative game, or dogfight with your opponent until only one ship remains. Only the most clever pilots employing a range of tactics will emerge victorious. What’s more, no mission will ever play the same way twice, thanks to a range of customisation options, varied manoeuvres, and possible combat outcomes. Upgrades available. RRP $65, ages 10-plus.

Game on

win win winwin win win

Design coMpeTiTion

M A z e

Gooie Backpack lunchbox comboBy Kidscapes

Kidscapes is your one-stop shop for kids’ decor products with gorgeous wall murals, stickers, rugs, lighting, soft furnishings, school bags, lunch boxes and gifts, just to name a few things. With free delivery nationwide, it makes perfect sense to shop online at Kidscapes. www.kidscapes.co.nz is giving you the chance to win one of four gorgeous Gooie Backpack lunchbox combos valued at $79.95 each and available in four beautiful designs. Competition ends 14 April 2015 – visit www.familytimes.co.nz to enter!

Our kids activities are proudly sponsored by Homestyle yummy yoghurt. For more printable activities go to www.yummyyoghurt.co.nz/kids/ Homestyle yummy yoghurt base and culture has no added sugar and a mild taste so it’s a perfect healthy choice for kids and grown-ups. It’s easy to make in any yoghurt maker and is a great source of calcium and protein.Available in selected supermarkets and online www.yummyyoghurt.co.nz

18

WIN A LUSH PRIZE PACK – 25 TO B E WON

LUSH Fresh Handmade Cosmetics are giving away this beautiful gift pack of warmth, comfort and Mediterranean citrus jubilation. It contains four products that will help you look on the bright side of life! LUSH is known for its strong ethical stance against animal testing, support for grassroots organisations, environmental stewardship and stunning products for the skin and hair. Everything is freshly handmade with high-quality fruits, vegetables and essential oils to make you feel like a ray of sunshine when you use them! Contains: Sugar Scrub, Each Peach (And Two’s a Pair) Massage Bar, Olive Branch shower gel, and a wedge of Bohemian soap.

WIN N AT UR A L M ED S PRIZE PACK S

Keeping well in winter needn’t be hard work – Natural Meds has a range of quality

vitamins and supplements for the whole family. Family Times has eight prize packs to give away, including Nordic Naturals Children’s DHA , strawberry �avoured omega-3 soft gels made from 100% wild Arctic cod, and Children’s Oxylent, a delicious Berry Punch multi vitamin drink that supports your child’s health and wellbeing.For stockists, visit www.naturalmeds.co.nz.

Welcome to Kids’ Time at Family Times. Enjoy the fun activities and competitions. For competitions, just �ll in the entry form and post it to us by the due date or

enter online by visiting www.familytimes.co.nz and click on the competitions link.

Looking for some rainy day activities for your children? Click on the For Kids section on our website for answers and for further activities your children can print out and complete.

Spot The Di�erence - CartoonspotDi�007_Wild_West.eps© Lovatts Puzzles

Solution:1. Light in saloon window , 2. Hole in barrel , 3. Chimney, 4. Extra arrow, 5. Mountain range on right of picture , 6. Dollar sign on money bag , 7. Native American’s knife , 8. Extra sun.

Spot the Di�erenceCan you spot the eight di�erences between these two pictures?

© Lovatts Puzzles

S POT T HE DIFFERENCE

Can you spot 8 di�erences betweenthese 2 pictures

Kids Maze

KM023_Balloon_PUZSOL.eps© Lovatts Puzzles

Can you find your way to the basket of the hot-air balloon?

M A Z EFind your way through the maze

Across 1. Crosswords have ... and white squares (5)3. A tube you suck a drink through (5)6. A vegetable that might make your eyes sting when you peel and cut it (5)8. Quacking bird (4)10. Slightly open (4)13. Colourful arc seen in the sky after it rains (7)14. Leather strap held by a horse rider (4)16. Stick used to hit a ball in golf (4)18. Winged heavenly messenger (5)19. Stared (up at the stars) (5)20. Marshy land (5)Down 1. Rock group (4)2. Person who prepares meals (4)4. Fish you can buy in a tin (4)5. Tusked Arctic mammal (6)7. Pressing clothes after they are washed (7)9. Short-legged dog (5)11. Gemstone (5)12. The season when �owers bloom (6)15. What you are called (you have a �rst one and last one and maybe a middle one) (4)16. A spike on a cat’s paw (4)17. Collide with, ... into (4)

Chase more puzzles visit our website www.lovattspuzzles.com

1 2 3 4 5

6 7

8 9 10 11

12 13

14 15 16 17

18

19 20

SPE LL BO UNDHint: Where there is a … in a clue you

need to �ll in the missing word.

WIN WIN WINWIN WIN WIN

WIN L E G O ® F RIEND S F IR S T A ID J UN G L E B IKE RRP

$29.99 Speed to the rescue on the LEGO® Friends First Aid Jungle Bike. There’s a monkey in distress trapped in a cave and it’s up to Emma to save him. Help Emma to shovel the fallen rocks and then check the monkey with Emma’s medic bag. Give the monkey a banana to eat and use the walkie-talkie to radio home. Set includes Emma mini-doll �gure, monkey, First Aid Jungle Bike with detachable side-car and other accessories. Ages 6 – 12. We have 20 x LEGO ® Friends First Aid Jungle Bike sets to give away.

WIN 100 B E S T N ATIVE PL ANT S FOR N E W

ZEA L AND GARDEN SIf you have ever wandered through the gorgeous grounds of Larnach Castle, you probably won’t have realised that the care and maintenance of the garden at Larnach Castle has been Fiona Eadie’s responsibility for the past 12 years. This outstanding title has been highly regarded since its �rst publication in 2001, and its revised edition and numerous reprints are a clear indication that it’s an indispensable gardeners’ companion.We have 10 books to give away.

WIN WIN WINWIN WIN WIN

DE S I G N CO MPETITION

Design a spring out�t made out of �owers and vegetables. It could be for you, your mum, your dad or anyone else. Please describe what it is made out of. Send us your picture and be in to win an amazing $50 prize pack from Crayola! Three entry age groups: preschool (age 1-4), 5-8, 9-12.Create your design on an A5 sheet or download the template and entry form from www.familytimes.co.nz. Post in to PO Box 36 004, Christchurch 8146. Entries close on 11 October 2014. Congratulations to our competition winners from our last issue Design your very own New Zealand superhero. Thank you also to kidsonscreen for the idea, DVD prizes; and also to our judge: Felicity Milburn of the Christchurch Art Gallery Te Puna O Waiwhetu. They are:Luke Harrison, (1-4 years old) James Yang, (5-8 years old) Wairaamia Taratoa-Bannister , (9-12 years old)


116

Fay and Jane Birkinshaw by Rita AngusRita Angus painted this picture of sisters Fay and Jane with their toys.

The girls look very similar, but in what ways are they di�erent?

List four things that are di�erent.

1.

2.

3.

4.

116

Fay and Jane Birkinshaw by Rita AngusRita Angus painted this picture of sisters Fay and Jane with their toys.

The girls look very similar, but in what ways are they di�erent?

List four things that are di�erent.

1.

2.

3.

4.

S POT T HE DIFFERENCE

Can you spot di�erences


KIDS TIMEOur kids activities are proudly sponsored by Homestyle yummy yoghurt. For more printable activities go to www.yummyyoghurt.co.nz/kids/

Homestyle yummy yoghurt base and culture has no added sugar and a mild taste so it’s a perfect healthy choice for kids and grown-ups. It’s easy to make in any yoghurt maker and is a great source of calcium and protein.

Available in selected supermarkets and online www.yummyyoghurt.co.nz

Design a fabulous, magical Easter Egg Hunt in preparation for the Easter Bunny’s April adventures and describe what’s happening in your design. Send us your picture (either via post or email) and you will be in to win a wonderful prize pack for creative kiwi kids from Crayola. There are three separate entry age groups: 1-4, 5-8 and 9-12. Create your design on an A4 sheet of paper and either post it or scan and email it to us. Don’t forget to write/type your name, age, description and postal address (so we can send you your prize if you win!). Post: PO Box 36 004, Christchurch 8146. Email: [email protected] - Entries close 1 May 2015.A huge congratulations is in order to our winners of last issue’s design competition too:1 to 4-year-olds Maia Andrell“This is our tent, my family is inside it.”

5 to 8-year-olds Juni Leung “Rainbow Treehouse: This is the treehouse I designed for my family.”

9 to 12-year-olds Sam Gormack

Visit www.familytimes.co.nz to view the winning entries.

Win a PTH105 Label Maker from Brother

Versatile, practical and really easy to use; the PT-H105 label maker is everything you could want in a hand-held printer. Whether it’s for labelling baby food or lunch boxes, this product is going to no doubt come in handy for busy parents on the go. We have six to give away to our lucky Family Times readers! This competition ends 22 March 2015. Visit www.familytimes.co.nz to enter.

Karori Pool• Hydroslide

• Aqua fitness classes

• Birthday parties

• 25 metre pool

• Toddler pool

• Spa

CSWCC

99045

22 Donald street, Karori Phone 476 8090, Wellington.govt.nz


Wrap the family up nice and warm and head out to enjoy some gorgeous autumn days at the following family-friendly events. For more event and entertainment ideas, visit www.familytimes.co.nz and enjoy our large, family-friendly resource.28 MarchNorthland Community Autumn Fair. Food, clothing, crafts, used toy and book stalls. Eureka clothing pop-up store. Free entertainment for the kids. From 10am-2pm, Northland Memorial Community Centre. Visit www.northlandcommunitycentre.org.nz.

28 MarchBattle Hill Past, Present and Future. Find out how Battle Hill got its name. Join the Ranger and Ngati Toa Rangatira for this guid-ed walk. Battle Hill Farm Forest Park, 608 Paekakariki Hill Road, Porirua – Mana, from 9am-12pm. Visit www.gwrc.govt.nz.

28-29 MarchCubaDupa. Cuba Street comes alive with a myriad of dance, music, theatre, live street art, carnival, circus and street food. Featuring a mass street orchestra, interactive masquer-ade costume event, giant puppets and more. Visit www.cubadupa.co.nz .

29 MarchSanitarium Weet-Bix Kids TRYathlon. The Weet-Bix Kids TRYathlon in Wellington

is staying at Kilbirnie Park for the 2015 event. The swim is located in the 50m heated indoor pool in the Wellington Regional Aquatic Cen-tre. Visit try.weetbix.co.nz.

3-6 AprilHeritage Arts & Crafts Easter Show. Some 30 guest artists will exhibit their work in the beautiful heritage garden setting and in the character barn. Trinity Farm, 202 Waitohu Valley Rd, Otaki, 10am-4pm. Door sales only. Visit www.trinityfarm.co.nz.

10-12 AprilWellington Better Home & Living Show. Featuring the latest eco-trends and innova-tions for indoors and out, massive show-only specials, free daily seminars, expert advice and prizes. Westpac Stadium, adults $8, kids free. From 10m-5pm, visit www.homeand-gardenshow.co.nz.

10-28 AprilFields of Remembrance. Sited on Sala-manca Lawn, the Fields of Remembrance will feature replica Flanders field poppies and 866 white crosses to commemorate the Wellingtonians who lost their lives during the First World War. Botanic Gardens, Glenmore Street.

12 AprilThe Porirua Grand Traverse. Tackle the full 54k multisport event or have a crack at the mountain bike ride, trail run, the 7.5k community fun run and walk or the kids’ chal-lenge. Visit www.poriruagrandtraverse.co.nz.

18 - 19 AprilSt Vincent de Paul bi-annual book fair. Thousands of books for sale, all for $2 or less.

St Anne’s Halle, 22 Emmet Street, Wellington.

18-25 AprilWellington ANZAC week commemo-rations. Various events to remember the ANZACS, 100 years on. At Pukeahu National War Memorial Park, 41 Buckle Street, Mt Cook, Wellington. Visit www.mch.govt.nz.

3 MayHutt City Crazy Man. The Crazyman is one of New Zealand’s longest running multisport events - a community event embracing all ages, abilities and backgrounds. Visit www.crazyman.co.nz.

21 MayJetts Secondary School Tough Guy and Gal Challenge. See students from around the country take on this challenging course to win the Toughest School Trophy. Battle Hill Farm Forest Park, Paekakariki , Porirua – Mana. Tickets 07-348-3301.

22 - 24 MayThe Baby Show. The Baby Show has just about everything parents need to navigate the journey from pregnancy to pre-school. TSB Arena, 10am-5pm, adults $15, under 12s free. Tickets 09-376-4603.

2 JuneFIFA U-20 World Cup New Zealand 2015- matches 15 and 16. Join the biggest celebra-tion of global football New Zealand has ever seen! At Wellington Regional Stadium. Tickets 0800-842-538.

Calendar of Eventscool activities

March 2015 sees the seventh Capital E National Arts Festival, the biggest in New Zealand for children.Art is for everyone, and it is especially powerful for young people. That’s why, at Capital E, we are working hard to raise $5000 to ensure the festival is accessible to all, by providing free transport to selected Wellington schools. To help us reach this target, we are using the fundraising site Boosted, and you can help us spread the word by sharing our campaign with your networks, friends and family. Together we can reach our final milestone for children who do not otherwise get to these events.

Did you know...?- Approximately 15,000 children will get to the festival on a bus.- More than 450 bus rides will be taken by children over the festival period.- More than 100 schools and early childhood centres will use buses to get to the festival.Every $5 donated puts a child on a bus and ensures they are met by a host to guide them through their festival experience.Visit Boosted to get on board www.boosted.org.nz/projects/capital-e-national-arts-festival-for-childrenand help us get children to the festival..

Get on board with the Capital E National Arts Festival

Rumpelstiltskin by Kapitall Kids TheatreA tale of trickery, greediness, magic and love.Kapitall Kids Theatre presents a new and modern take on this classic story these school holidays.However, this time a familiar hardworking farm-girl named little Bo Peep has something to say about it. As the classic characters spin themselves into a tricky situation, it takes some quick thinking and a bit of comedy gold to set the story straight. On 7-17 April at Gryphon Theatre, Wellington.

Cubadupa is coming to Wellington this autumn!

drop-in mon - sat 9.30am - 3.30pm

WIN A CHANCE

TO SEE THE REAL WHITE KIWI AT PUKAHA

MOUNT BRUCE

CAPITAL E NATIONAL THEATRE FOR CHILDREN PRESENTS

sat 4 - 18 april, at the hannah playhouse

Proudly supported by

BOOK NOW 04 913 3740 capitale.org.nz

CAPITAL E IS A WELLINGTON

MUSEUMS TRUST FACILITYPrincipal funder

What’s onAPRIL SCHOOL HOLIDAYS

www.girlsbrigade.nzE-mail: [email protected]

An invitation to all girls aged5 to 18...

Come join the fun & friendship at any of our nationwide locations.

New Zealand

RUMPELSTILTSKINA fantasy tale of trickery, greediness,

magic and love.

Bookings: (04)934 4068 Tickets $10 : Groups 10+ $9 www.kapitallkidstheatre.co.nz

Gryphon Theatre Wellington 7 - 18 April 2015

11am & 1pm Weekdays / 11am Saturdays


cool activities Entertainment

As autumn settles in, the weather begins to cool down, but children still love to be outside. This makes autumn the perfect time to observe with your children how nature adapts to the cooler temperatures.Take a family walk in the park, or around your neighbourhood, and you can all point out the trees and plants with leaves that are changing colour. Bring a plastic bag with you on your walks to collect the leaves and acorns that have fallen to the ground. When you get home, lay your new nature collection out on some newspaper. There are lots of activities you can do with your nature collection. • Create a nature study – become nature

detectives and find out what trees the leaves came from.

• Acorns are a great example to show the life cycle of a tree. Draw pictures, or print

and paste onto paper.• Leaf art – arrange the coloured leaves on

some card, glue them in place and frame.• Leaf rubbings – cover the leaf with paper

and rub lightly with crayon – these can make great cards or pictures for gifts.

• Acorns/nuts – with glue and imagination, these can be transformed into an acorn family.

Don’t forget, there is fun to be had below the ground too. Why not use one of the simplest science resources out in your back garden......dirt! Grab a trowel or small spade and dig a little trench in your garden with your child. Take time to look closely at the soil. Take out a little soil and place it on some white card. Use a magnifying glass to take a closer look. What does it look like? How does it feel? What will happen if you drip water onto your sample? Is the soil deeper down in your trench the same? Can you find any living creatures? Study some worms.

Activity:You will need:• 1 litre clear plastic bottle or clear glass jar.• Sharp tool to make some holes in the top

of the bottle.• Trowel or small spade to collect dirt.• A small funnel that will fit into the top of

the bottle.• A worm.

What to do:• Place some gravel at the bottom of the

bottle/jar. • Put layers of soil, sand and leaves and

grass into the bottle/jar

• (use the funnel if using plastic bottle)• Add a little water to make the soil moist. • Place grass cuttings or leaves on top. • Now find a worm and carefully put it in the

bottle. • Watch how the worm makes tracks in the

layers of leaves and soil. Make sure you return your worm to the garden after a day or two. Watch our Science Alive video to learn more about soil: http://youtu.be/p3sv8bSxPcU

Science Alive are exclusively providing at-home science experiments to Family Times.Family Times would love to see some pictures of your autumn science experiment. Email to us as [email protected].

Science at home: outdoors autumn fun!

Need a fun activity to beat the autumn blues? The weather may be cooling down, but there’s still plenty of fun to be had at a plethora of events and entertainment destinations around the city. Here are a few ideas to get you started, and we’ve got heaps more at www.familytimes.co.nz.Wellington ZooSpend a year at Wellington Zoo with a Zoo Crew membership—starting from just $39 for kids! You’ll also get special discounts too. Find out more at Wellingtonzoo.com/zoocrew.

Capital ERebuild: drop in, free entry.You find an old ruin filled with furniture, decorations and the debris of everyday life. Play, create and discover in this interactive installation from Imaginarium. On 7 April – 2 May.

StaglandsStaglands Wildlife Reserve offers visitors the unique opportunity to feed and freely interact

with wildlife in a natural environment. Open daily, visit www.staglands.co.nz.The CrossThe Cross is your family friendly local, with free fortnightly puppet shows and workshops, weekend kids’ activities, face painting and crafts, toys and kids’ menus always available for the little ones. LaserforceLaserforce Generation 6 Supernova is a thrilling, state-of-the-art, high-impact game that brings out the competitive streak in everyone, as well as laughs and smiles – it’s just good fun!

Holiday specialsHere are some great holiday ideas designed to keep you and your little ones entertained during the school break. StaglandsGet off the beaten track at Staglands these school holidays with free off-road tractor-trailer rides! Run daily 3 – 19 April from 11.30am to 3.30pm (weather permitting.)

Visit www.staglands.co.nz.Strawberry FareBring the family to Wellington’s only dessert specialist restaurant, with more than 20 desserts to choose from. We also have meals and breakfast and brunch on the weekends. Open all Easter for a school holiday treat.Round Harbour Explorer See Wellington on board a Round Harbour Explorer tour these holidays, or make up

your own trip with up to 16 return harbour crossings daily. Visit www.eastbywest.co.nz.Kapitall Kids Theatre presents Rumpelstiltskin:Will Rumpelstiltskin be caught out by quick thinking and comedy gold? A tale of trickery, greediness, magic, love, and show-stopping musical numbers! From l 7-17 April, Gryphon Theatre Wellington.

251 Karori Road, Karori, Phone 476 8090, Wellington.govt.nz

Karori Recreation Centre• Preschool programmes

• School-age programmes

• Holiday care programmes

• Adult classes

• Facility hire

• Sports league

CSWCC

99045

Danceworks

Contact Chloe SpeddingPhone: 027-305 1075

E-mail: [email protected]

An Island Bay-based dance school

Jazz ~ Ballet ~ Tap

Taking new enrolments NOW!

We have classes available in Tap, Jazz and Ballet. Classes include preschool ballet for 3

year-olds, adult tap and everything in between.

Sweet treats at Strawberry Fare.


There always seems to be a bit of competition in parenting; from which after-school activities your kids go to and where you buy their clothes from, to sporting prowess and academic achievement.

But arguably the biggest competition of all is birthday parties.

Once upon a time, birthdays were simpler. If you were lucky, you would get to invite a few friends around, maybe take off on your bikes down to the park to play, watch a movie later and enjoy a slice of mum’s homemade birthday cake. These days, there seems to be a lot more expectation surrounding birthday parties. From elaborate party bags to hosted venues and expensive activities, there is no end to how much you can spend on a child’s birthday, all to keep up with the Jones’.Of course, there is nothing wrong with those things – after all, a hosted venue cuts down on the clean-up work, and birthday party entertainment is a lot of fun and takes the pressure off you organising games – but it all

comes down to the reasons that you do it. If you find yourself stretching beyond your budget in order to throw a party as fancy as the one that your child’s school friend did last month, you may need to sit back and have a rethink. Will it be worth it when you get the credit card bill?Blogger April Masini says that parents have become so insecure about raising their children that they use their kids to compete with each other, especially when it comes to birthday parties. She says that kids need to learn to have realistic expectations though, and learn that life isn’t always fair, and that not everybody has the same disposable income. One parent who decided to buck the trends for her 2-year-old son’s birthday is Heather Morgan-Shot. Rather than go the catered direction, she and her husband Chris home-cooked birthday treats for the kids, and had a barbecue for the adults. “I had stressed endlessly about my simple approach,” said Heather. “At one point, in the beginning of our party planning efforts, Chris had to remind me that we didn’t need to go overboard for our 2-year-old’s birthday party, and I’m thankful he was able to keep me focused. I find it embarrassingly easy to get swept up in what other mums think and say and, I lose perspective on what works for us as a family.

“In the end, Mason clearly had a blast–and I wouldn’t change a thing about the party we had for him.”Here are some tips for deciding what kind of party, treats, food and entertainment you should have for your child’s party:

1 Set a budget. Be realistic about what you have to spend, and plan the party accordingly. Maybe in order to book some entertainment, you can skip on catering and home-cook instead. Ask your child what is most important to them about the party.

2 Time. Lots of families have two parents working, so establish how much time you can realistically put into the party. Maybe

you don’t have time to home cook, or energy to clean up, and a catered party with entertainment is what best suits your needs.

3 Help. How much help is available to you through family and friends? This may affect your decisions about how to run the party. Maybe your family can help cater, or friends can help supervise or entertain.

4 What your child wants. Your child may not actually want a big, fancy party, but prefer to have just a few friends over to play video games. Don’t be tempted to force a big party if it’s not what your child wants – you may be doing it for your own reasons.

Birthdays parties – keeping up with the Jones’

parties

LASERTAG WELLINGTON

IS THE ULTIMATE

BIRTHDAY PARTY

VENUE!Kids get all the excitement of challenging their friends at laser tag using the latest Laserforce battle suits as well as a choice of over 50 games in the Laserforce Wellington arcade.

For all this lots more at fantastic prices, visit www.laser-force.co.nz or call us now on 04-384 4622

? Individual meal options? No mess to clean up!? Parents can join in too? Service second-to-none

THE SEXIEST DESSERTS IN TOWN

Open 7 Days Brunch, lunch, dinner and desert 25 Kent Terrace,Wellington (04) 385 2551

LaserforceGear up with your state-of-the-art Generation 6 Laserforce Battlesuit vest and grip your phaser tight – it’s time for action!The pumping music sets the tone as you stalk your enemies shrouded in a swirling haze. Your Laserforce Battlesuit communicates with you throughout, letting you become fully immersed in your mission as you zap your way through a challenging labyrinth. Pull the trigger on targets and phase opponents to rack up as many points as you can. Just make sure they don’t get you first!Why Laserforce Wellington?• Cutting-Edge Laser TagLaserforce Generation 6 Supernova is the latest system, making us Wellington’s most immersive and exciting laser tag venue.• Better birthday partiesLaserforce Wellington is a family-owned business so we’re more dedicated to going the extra to make sure your birthday party is the best.• A huge arcadeMore than 50 fun games and prize machines.

If achy legs are keeping your child awake at night, chances are they are experiencing growing pains.

Between 25-40 per cent of children experience growing pains, which most

commonly strike during two particular stages of childhood: in 3 to 5-year-olds and again in 8 to 12-year-olds. The intensity of the pain varies from child to child. Growing pains usually cause an aching or throbbing feeling in the legs. This pain often occurs in the front of the thighs, the calves or behind the knees. Usually both legs hurt. Some children may also experience abdominal pain or headache during episodes of growing pains. The pain doesn’t occur every day. It comes and goes, and may be experienced for months or even years. Most children feel pain in the late afternoon and evening, right before dinner time, and at

bedtime. The leg pains may hurt so much that they may wake your child from sleep. If your child seems perfectly fine the next day, don’t be quick to think he or she was faking – it is normal for growing pains to disappear in the morning. They usually do not interfere with the child’s ability to play sports or be active.Although they are called “growing pains,” there’s no evidence that growth actually hurts. The cause of the pain is unknown. Growing pains don’t usually happen where growth is occurring or during times of rapid growth. It’s been suggested that growing pains may be linked to restless legs syndrome. But muscle pain at night from overuse during the day is thought to be the most likely cause. Overuse from activities such as running, climbing and jumping can be hard on a child’s musculoskeletal system. A doctor can usually diagnose growing pains by examining your child and asking questions about his or her medical history and symptoms. It is important to rule out

any other possible causes of the pain before making the diagnosis of growing pains. It is particularly important to see your doctor if the pain is persistent, is following an injury, or is associated with a fever, rash, limping or any other unusual or seemingly unrelated symptoms. Your doctor might order x-rays or blood tests if it is suspected something more serious is going on. There is no specific treatment for growing pains. During the day, doing stretches before and after physical activity could help as a preventative measure to ease soreness from overused muscles. To relieve symptoms, try massaging the area, apply a heating pad or warm cloth, or jumping in the bath or shower. If pain persists, consult your doctor about using pain relief such as paracetamol or ibuprofen. Even a visit to the chiropractor could be beneficial. The good news is that growing pains don’t last forever – most children grow out of them in a few years.

Growing pains


Make the most of the settled weather, end-of-summer warmth and quieter holiday season by taking your family out into nature this autumn. Department of Conservation (DOC) ranger Dan Palmer shares his top spots to visit for those wanting to get away for a week, a weekend or even just a day.

Day: Kapiti Island This is a great one-day adventure and an all-round experience of New Zealand’s wildlife. From the exciting boat ride over through the marine reserve, to the open grasslands with takahe walking around, Kapiti Island has some of the most amazing bush in the region. The island’s thriving nature is thanks to the fact that Kapiti has been free of pests for decades. Cool walks through awesome forests include a lookout from the summit to the Kapiti coast, across to the South Island and, on a really clear day, views of Mt Taranaki/Egmont.

Weekend: Rimutaka Forest Park This is a great place to get away to and book out your own hut for the family. With good tracks, bush and the river to swim in, the tracks and huts in the Catchpool valley cater for everyone—you can even push your off-road buggy as far as Turere Lodge. Closer huts are easy to get to if you have slower members, but I like Papatahi hut. It is the furthest up the valley, still only three-and-a-half hours, but leaves the crowds far behind. Week: Tararuas/Holdsworth campsiteYou could spend ages in the Tararuas. There is nothing better than tramping along the tussock tops of the range or taking a dip (not for the faint-hearted) in an alpine tarn, a lake or pond up high in the mountains. On a nice day, you can see the Wairarapa, Kapiti, and Wellington in the distance. Those with young families can enjoy the flat river valleys, which are also beautiful places to hang out. The Waiohine or Tauherenikau rivers, especially, are great for swimming and fishing. A fantastic base for the week would be Holdsworth campsite with buggy-friendly walks, fishing and swimming nearby, and plenty of space to kick a ball or throw a frisbee. Visit www.doc.govt.nz to find out more about these awesome places and to plan and prepare for your trips.

5kNEW EVENT

10k42k 21k

Kids’MagicMile

5th July 201530thAnniversary

Looking for a family fitness goal this winter? Then get running or walking and join more than 5000 others for the 30th anniversary of Wellington’s premier marathon event.Established in 1986, the Armstrong Motor Group Wellington Marathon has been Wellington’s major mid-winter event for almost three decades. In recent years it has become New Zealand’s fastest growing marathon event, with more than 5000 runners and walkers from 12 countries taking up the challenge.Race director Sally Anderson says the success behind the annual event is simple. “Along with the scenic and achievable course, we cater for people of all ages and abilities.”As well as the marathon (42.2k), there is also a half marathon (21.1km), a 10km and the kids’ magic mile. In 2015 the

30th anniversary celebrations include the introduction of a new 5km event.“It’s a chance for families to set fitness goals together,” said Anderson. “They just pick a goal that suits their age, motivation or fitness.”Participants can also dedicate their run to raise funds for the New Zealand Heart Foundation, which is the event’s official charity partner.Scheduled this year for Sunday 5 July, every finisher will receive a 30th anniversary finisher medal and every entrant goes into a prize draw for a trip to the 2016 Paris Marathon.Entry forms can be found at Shoe Clinic stores and Lifestyle Gyms. Or for full information, including online entry and free training schedules, visit www.wellingtonmarathon.co.nz.

Set yourselves a family fitness goal

Getting into the great outdoors this autumn


I’ve recently been re-watching one of my favourite shows, Modern Family. I

think what draws me to it (apart from the entertainment factor) is that many of the problems the three families face are very real for families today. My absolute favourite character to watch is Jay: a middle-aged man, married to an out-of-his-depth beautiful Columbian Gloria, with her son from her first marriage Manny. Whether you’ve seen the series, or are a step-parent yourself, take note of the top three things this family has taught me about step-parenting:

1. Ninety per-cent of being a good parent is just showing up. Jay struggles (to say the least) with Manny’s real father’s absolute disrespect to stick to basic time management. Random visits with expectations to sleep over, broken promises to Manny, bringing his new girlfriend unannounced – all these are realities families face today with a parent vaguely outside of the picture. It’s hard to live up to expectations of a parent figure who seems just so “cool,” but Jay puts aside his hate and isn’t there so much to pick up the pieces, but rather just to be there.

2. “While others are out there kicking the ball on the field, Manny’s looking at butterflies.”Trying to shape a child is hard work. Especially if you have a certain dislike of how they have turned out so far. Jay’s biggest goal in life seems to be to turn Manny into a man

while Manny passionately tries to live up to the romantic his mother tries to parent him into being. Be on the same team as your partner! If something irritates you, don’t say it – suggest an alternative parenting method. You are now a team so be on the same page.

3. “I killed the turtle.”In one episode, after Jay accidentally drops a picture on Manny’s pet turtle and kills it, Jay develops a master plan to make Manny believe that a raccoon got into his bedroom window and killed his pet turtle. Not a good parenting choice overall, but when you are a

step-parent, honesty is even dearer to pre-teens in the family. They almost want to feel that you can be more of a friend to them so they expect you to not tip-toe around them the way that their biological parent some-times does. It’s so easy for you to become the bad guy in a quick flash, so stick to the facts – be truthful.By Eva MariaEva-Maria is a 23-year-old on a mission to help improve 10,000,000 adult-teenager relationships around the world. She is the author of the bestselling You Shut Up! and sequel Shush, You!. She travels throughout New Zealand, Australia and Russia coaching families, running workshops and speaking at

conferences and events about the importance of intergenerational relationships and youth in the workforce, offering understanding from “the other side.” www.eva-maria.co.nz.Entertainment

Step-parents and preteens: What Modern Family’s Jay Pritchett taught me

As busy parents, sometimes it feels like you are living in Ground Hog Day. The endless cycle of school, work, appointments, activities, shopping, and housework is an unforgiving daily grind that leaves little time for the simple pleasures in life - like enjoying each other’s company.

So between all the commitments facing modern families, how is it possible to

spend quality time with the kids? Parenting expert and author Karyn Riley says there are two main hurdles to achieving this. “One is a perceived lack of time with our busy, often over-scheduled lives; the other is the guilt and pressure that comes with beating ourselves up over not spending “enough” quality time with our children. We all have the same amount of time available - it’s how we prioritise and use that time that makes the difference.”Karyn says that spending 5 or 10 minutes of a hundred percent present, fully-focused quality time with our kids is more beneficial than a longer period of time in which parents are distracted. “One of my favourite sayings is, “We are human beings, not human doings.” We can all

benefit by taking time out to just “be” - with our kids, partners and ourselves.”Karyn advises one way to achieve quality time is to literally schedule it into your diary. “In my experience, if you don’t plan time for what’s important it will generally never happen. Have strong boundaries in place - prioritise quality time and stick to it.”What constitutes as quality time will vary between families, Karyn says. Do what suits yours, and never compare yourself to others. “There is no one-size-fits-all - quality is better than quantity. When you do spend time with your family and children, focus on this alone - not what you “should” be doing instead. Be realistic and go easy on yourself - remember, “super-mum” does not exist!”

Mum of three Camdon Dudley says family time is key to how her family operates. Both she and husband Brandon work full-time; he as a building services coordinator and she as a preschool centre director. With sons Donnell, 15; Troy, 9; and Eli, 20 months, the family do almost everything together including housework, weekend sport and daily walks around the block. “Because of the huge age gaps (between the

kids) we feel it’s important to spend time together. We support one another in sport, so on a Saturday we generally spend all day together. We go to concerts together. We walk the Rapaki track, taking turns with the baby. Donnell is a big boy now so he can help with that!”It is a house rule that the family always eats dinner together, and sometimes they will turn off the TV and just talk. “The kids think I’m a real nerd when I ask, “what was the highlight of your day,” or “did you meet someone new today?” But now I’ll find they will come to me and say “Mum, I did meet someone new today.”Camdon says being organised is integral. “We’ve got good systems. The kids all know their responsibilities. If all our jobs are done then we can get back to that quality time.”

**Karyn Riley is a parent educator and life coach, and author of ‘How to Keep the YOU in Mum’. She was a finalist of the Westpac Women of Influence Award 2014 and winner of the Local Heroes Medal, New Zealander of the Year Awards 2012. She is mum to two daughters aged 11 and 14. Her website is www.rileylife.co.nz.

Building quality time into your day

“What constitutes as quality time will vary between families. Do what suits yours, and

never compare yourself to others.”

Tell our advertiser you saw it in...

2015/2016 primary and intermediate school term datesTerm 2, 2015Monday 20 April to Friday 3 July

Term 3, 2015Monday 20 July to Friday 25 September

Term 4, 2015Monday 12 October to no later than Friday 18 December

Term 1, 2016Between Monday 1 February and Friday 5 February to Friday 15 April2015 and 2016 secondary and composite school term datesTerm 2, 2015Monday 20 April to Friday 3 July

Term 3, 2015Monday 20 July to Friday 25 September

Term 4, 2015Monday 12 October to no later than Wednesday 16 December

Term 1, 2016Between Monday 1 February and Friday 5 February to Friday 15 April

Remaining public holidays 20153 April Good Friday6 April Easter Monday25 April ANZAC Day1 June Queen’s birthday5 October Labour Day25 December Christmas Day 26 December Boxing Day

SCHOOLTERM DATES


Find out about the support services available to separated parents wanting to reach agreement over the care of their children.

As a separated parent, Mary wanted to make changes to the child care

arrangements she and her ex-partner John had in place for the last three years. Mary’s son was about to start primary school and she was worried that John taking over care on Monday mornings might not work because he lived some distance from the school. While Mary and John were on speaking terms, she did not feel confident raising these issues directly with him. Have you found yourself in this situation, or are you recently separated and unable to reach agreement with your ex-partner over the care arrangements for your children? While most parents are able to agree on how to look after their children, some benefit from support. A number of new services in the community to assist people to resolve their care arrangements without the need to go to court were introduced by the Government in March 2014.As a first step you may find that developing a parenting plan, in discussion with your ex-partner, is a useful process for agreeing on care arrangements. The parenting plan is a useful resource, which will help you think about all the things that may happen and help you to reach agreement. The parenting plan and other useful guides are on the Family Justice website (see below).Separating parents are also able to attend the free information programme Parenting

Through Separation, which is run by non-profit organisations throughout the country. This programme has helped thousands of families and gives practical advice to help you deal with separation and the affect it has on your children. It will also help you plan how to care for your children after you’ve separated. To find your nearest programme click on the “who can help” tab on the Family Justice website.This information and advice may be enough to reach agreement with your ex-partner on the care arrangements for your children. However, if like Mary you feel it would be helpful for a neutral professional to assist you both to reach agreement, then you may like to contact a Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) provider. The FDR provider’s role is to help you both reach an agreement on how to best care for your children. The FDR provider is not there to take sides but is there to guide you to find solutions that work for you both and work for your children. The FDR provider may also suggest you get legal advice if you haven’t already. If you are eligible, you may be able to get free advice from a Family Legal Advice Service lawyer.More than 80% of people who have gone through FDR have been able to reach agreement. FDR places less strain on your children, as it helps you keep their interests at heart and resolve issues without the stress of going to court.Alternatively, there are other public services available that can help. You can find these on the Family Justice website or you can seek advice from your local Citizens Advice Bureau. The family justice website is www.justice.govt.nz/family-justice.

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Support for separated parents

Did you know that there’s a large amount of unwanted money out there? Apparently, there’s approximately $80m in old coins and some $36m in bank notes plus loads of foreign cash. The Lions’ HU4K project collects everything from pre/old decimal currency and bank notes through to any foreign currency. The magic of this collection is taking something that doesn’t have much use and turning it into something really positive – life changing opportunities for Kiwi teens. Please take your old NZ/

foreign money to any Resene ColorShop or selected New World Supermarkets. It’s as easy as that!Many thanks to Fastway Couriers, Resene ColorShops, New World Supermarkets and all New Zealanders for their on-going support.

Turn old money into opportunities with NZ Lions

AttractionsEntertainment

Dine inTake-awaysHome deliveries

Courtney Place18 Blair Street04-384-9989

Cuba Mall115 Cuba Mall04-384-2535

www.littleindia.co.nz

Upper HuttThe Mall, Logan St04-528 7232

Lower Hutt66 Bloomfield Tce04-586 9040

Our recipes come from the kitchen of our mother Premjit Kaur Gill.

Our spice is a 5000 year-oldsecret!

PoriruaMungavin Ave04-238 2555

Best

Indian

Restaurant

& Takeaways

Wellington

Dining Out

Family Getaways

44 Margaret Street on Main Road South

(Sh57), Shannon

Open daily (except Tue & Wed) For guided tours anytime

between 10am & 3pmEvery day in school holidays

Phone: 06-362 7872E-mail: [email protected]

www.owlcatraz.co.nz

~ Fact, Fantasy & Fun ~

You haven’t experienced Wellington till you've sailed on the Harbour Ferry

For timetable and fares phone Metlink 0800 801 700 or visit www.eastbywest.co.nz

Office: 04-499 1282 – DAILY STATUS LINE: 04-494 3339

Up to 16 return sailings daily

Also weekend Round Harbour Explorer tours

between Queens Wharf/Matiu Somes Island/Days Bay

calling at Petone/Matiu Somes Island/Days Bay/Seatoun/Queens Wharf

family times wellington autumn 2015

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