family times wellington winter 2015

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A news magazine and online resource for families www.familytimes.co.nz Win with Us on Facebook

8 Win Win WinCompetitions, giveaways

and kids’ games2 The cost of a free education Do we invest enough into our kids? 4 Miscarriage and stillbirth

Talking about it helps, say NZ women 6 Perfectionist parenting

Why loosening the reins is a good thing

2 www.familytimes.co.nz

Families today are changing, and grandparents are changing with it.

On one hand, greater mobility means that families are spread across the

country (and the world) and many children aren’t able to see their grandparents regularly. Life is hectic for all generations and even families who live near each other often don’t spend as much time together as in the past. On the other hand, people are having fewer children and living longer. With fewer family members in each generation, intergenerational relationships can take on added significance. The great news is that with a longer life expectancy, grandparents are likely to be around for longer to be a part of their grandchildren’s lives. But how they define the role of grandparent is changing according to Age Concern CEO Robyn Scott.

Grandparents as caregiversA Families’ Commission report from 2010 estimates that as many as 10,000 children in New Zealand are cared for fulltime by their grandparents. This is for a variety of reasons, such as parents being unable or unwilling to raise their children, or shared accommodation within the family. Then, according to Scott, there are a whole lot more grandparents who take on a part-time caregiver role with their grandchildren due to their parents’ work commitments. “There are lots of grandparents that are full-time or part-time caregivers to their grandchildren. The impact of that on them depends on whether that is out of necessity or choice – is it because of the need for unpaid childcare because of economic implications, or out of choice, out of love, because they want to be a full-time caregiver?”

Grandparents workingOn the flipside, in previous generations, even if the grandfather worked until retirement age, the grandmother would be at home. However, Scott says that’s changing. “The concept of retirement – whatever retirement is – has definitely changed. New Zealand has a very high percentage of over 65s in the workforce, so there are a lot of grandparents working either part-time or full-time, particularly between the ages of 65 and 75. When I was a child, my grandparents were in their late 70s early 80s, and there was nobody working in that age group at that time. They were grandparenting – that’s what they did. They were at home. “The other thing that has changed is that it is more difficult to generalise on these things than 50 years ago – there is more variation on what a person later in their life is likely to be doing today.”

Connecting with grandparentsGrandparents today are much more likely to have grandchildren living in a different city or a different country than they were 50 years ago, and that does have an impact on intergenerational relationships, Scott said. “If your grandchildren are living on the other side of the world, you can’t travel to them every weekend, so your relationship with them is going to vary from what it would be if they were living around the corner. It’s more difficult to be close. But the bonus that’s come along in the last 20-years is the value of technology. Grandparents Skype grandchildren all over the world every day of the week. “I don’t think relationships are necessarily better or worse – I just think they’re different.”

Grandparents changing with the times

The right to a free education is a benefit of living in a country like New Zealand, with tax-payer funder privileges.Crown-funded education in New Zealand cost tax payers $12.3 billion in the 2013/14 financial year, with forecasts suggesting that the 2014/2015 year will top $12.8 billion. Additionally, education received a $244 million boost in the 2015/2016 budget. But it’s getting tougher and tougher for schools to operate within the budgets set by the Ministry of Education according to New Zealand Educational Institute national president Louise Green. The current budget reflected a 1 per cent increase in operational funding, she said, and that was not enough to keep administration wages in line with the cost of living, or to account for rises in expenses such as electricity bills.

“It’s just a real struggle to keep up with all of the things that need to be paid for and at the same time, deliver to the children what parents increasingly expect from schools.”

New Zealand spends less on education than the OECD average; about NZ$9372 per primary student per year, compared to the OECD average of NZ$10,620. That means that schools resort to fundraising, sponsorship and grant applications, as well as requesting school donations from parents.

Then there are ongoing costs that parents pay for, with the biggest by far being technology, said Green. Children increasingly use devices to learn and to present their learning with, and that cost was not often able to be absorbed by the school. Add to that the costs of extras – uniforms, trips, stationery – and the cost to parents of a “free” education (up to year 13) in a state-funded public school for a child starting this year is $35,000, according to the Planning for Education Index. The peer-reviewed Planning for Education Index was compiled from a survey of more than 1000 members of ASG Education Programmes, who were asked about the cost of school fees, transport, uniforms, computers and school and sports trips. The survey also found that for a child born in 2015, 13 years of private school education in New Zealand is estimated to cost $323,814. State integrated schooling could cost up to $107,962, almost a third of the cost of private education, with state education costing up to $37,676. That’s a cost of more than $50 per week for each child in the state education system – an amount that some New Zealand families are struggling to meet. ASG Education Programmes CEO John Velegrinis said that regardless of whether choosing to educate a child in a state, state integrated or private school, parents need to start planning financially for education from the time their child is born. And school fees are only one component of total education costs. “There is a myriad of other costs involved including transport, uniforms and school

books, excursions – which can create financial headaches if they’re not planned for.”On the plus side, state education in New Zealand is more than 40 per cent cheaper than in Australia, costing families about $37,676 for a 13-year education, in comparison to $67,894 across the Tasman. But that’s still a hefty bill if parents don’t start planning early, according to Velegrinis.“Education is one of life’s major investments – in some instances it’s an even bigger investment than the family home. What we’re advocating is that by putting a little bit away, parents are more likely to achieve the goals and aspirations they have for their children.”

The cost of a “free” education

“It’s just a real struggle to keep up with all of

the things that need to be paid for and at the

same time, deliver to the children what parents

increasingly expect from schools.”

Nominate online at asg.co.nz/nominate by 30 September 2015

To request a promotional kit visit asg.co.nz/neitaFor general enquiries call 09 308 0576

2015 ASG National Excellence in Teaching Awards

Nominate an inspirational teacher or educator now

National Excellencein Teaching Awards

National Excellencein Teaching Awards

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Teachers are top-of-mind for families as nominations open for the 2015 ASG National Excellence in Teaching Awards (NEiTA). Boards of Trustees, parent associations, secondary student councils and community organisations can nominate the outstanding teachers and leaders who inspire learning in their school community.These awards are an opportunity for education consumers to acknowledge those teachers and leaders whose inspirational approach stimulates student learning and success. “ASG is proud of NEiTA because

it provides the community with an avenue to nominate teachers and give them recognition they so richly deserve. These teachers are dedicated to ensuring that all of our children are receiving a world-class education and are equipped with tools for lifelong learning,” says ASG NEiTA chief executive officer John Velegrinis.Nominations for early childhood, primary and secondary educators, teachers and leaders can be made at www.asg.co.nz/nominate until 30 September 2015.

Time to nominate outstanding teachers and leaders


Features2 The cost of a “free” education Why you need to save for your child’s state

education.2 Grandparents’ changing roles They may be working, they may be travel-

ling, they may be half a world away.3 What works for my family Our Family Times facebook fans tell us

what they think about issues.

4 Miscarriage and stillbirth It happens more than you’d think, and

talking about it helps.

5 The importance of play It’s a child’s work, and crucial to develop-

ment.6 Perfectionist parenting Pick your battles, and learn when to let

it go.7 Childhood obesity The push for greater in-school food

education.11 DOC Great Walks We catch up with DOC’s Great Walks

winners.

12 Winter wellness Tips and tricks to keep your family healthy

in winter.

13 From baby language to communication

What is normal in terms of your child’s language development?

14 Encouraging entrepreneurship Tips on preparing your child for the busi-

ness world.14 Hygiene hypothesis Why germs are good for your kids.

Kids Corner8 Kids’ corner Competitions, games and reviews.

inside this issue

ContentsAt Family Times we like to look at the upbeat side of parenting, as well as source the best parenting information that we can for our readers. So deciding to tackle a feature about miscarriage and stillbirth is a bit out-of-the normal for us.

But the figures surrounding miscarriage and stillbirth are astounding, with one in every

three New Zealand women experiencing miscarriage during their lifetime, and 400-plus stillbirths in New Zealand each year. That’s a lot of families affected by the loss of a child. I was a little hesitant to tackle such a sensitive subject: how is it possible to turn such a sad occurrence into a story of hope? Would anyone even want to be interviewed about such a personal and tragic story? The answer, to my surprise, was an astounding (and even though I hate to capitalise) YES!Of the two courageous women who shared their stories with me, one is a good friend and the other my sister, Racheal. It’s predominantly their experiences that convinced me that it’s possible to write about a subject that is little talked about in society and to focus on the strength, determination and overcoming spirit that has seen them through. I’ve seen Racheal at her absolute lowest point: in her pyjamas at eight in the morning, tear-stained face and bagged-eyed after spending a sleepless night lying on the floor hugging the wee white coffin of her baby girl Jasmine, dreading putting her in the earth that

day. “I can’t, I can’t,” she sobbed. But she did.It took a long time, but the day came when she began to smile again, began to laugh again, began to live again. But for her, Jasmine will always be a precious part of the family. Her photo sits on the buffet in the front porch of her home, along with photos of her other three living children. In generations past, that photo would never have existed. Racheal would have been told that Jasmine would be best forgotten. But as I learned when I was in my friend Kirsten’s home one day, talking about a lost child and acknowledging their life is healing. “Would you like to see a photo album of Freedom?” she asked, referring to her stillborn baby girl. “I would love to,” I responded. And I knew that made her day. Grief isn’t comfortable, but it’s a part of life. For many, many Kiwi families, it’s a part of being a parent. I hope that you’ll read about these amazing families in our main feature this issue. Of course, we’ve still got a bunch of other great parenting articles, event listings, competitions, and giveaways, so grab a coffee and start turning those pages. Enjoy.

From the editor

NZ’s No.1 parenting publication

Find Family Times New Zealand on Facebook and Like Us today! or visit us on the web

www.familytimes.co.nz

We asked you our Family Times Facebook family - what you think about parenting issues. Here’s what you said:Are the costs of school trips, uniforms, fees and donations too much?

Samantha Watkins I do find it very expensive; the uniforms, stationery and “donation” sure add up quick with four kids. I cut costs in other places so that the kids have what they need. And also there’s after-school clubs, so it does feel like all our money is going straight to schooling of one kind or another.

Fiona Stodart Personally I don’t have a problem paying school fees. What are frustrating are all the other add-ons during the term. Much as it would be more to outlay at one time, I would prefer to have all the costs itemised at the beginning of year, or even the term, so I can budget and pay for them without surprises. As far as school uniforms go, I think they are a godsend. Ours have lasted really well. So whilst a big outlay, we have saved on lots of other clothes’ costs overall. We have also been able to pick up a lot of the uniforms second-hand but still in excellent condition.

Anna Scott Thankfully we got lots of uniform hand-me-downs and second-hand bargains for my

eldest heading to intermediate, otherwise that would have been a big shock. I think donations and activity fees are at an okay level. I have three kids and it’s just part of the cost of kids. Certainly cheaper than private school education!

Then we asked you... do you feel pressure to be a perfect parent?

Dairne WoodsI always have a good chat with good friends who are fellow parents. You soon learn that we all have parenting days where everything’s not sunshine and rainbows. I also like exploring humorous parenting blogs that allow me to laugh at myself, learn from my parenting “mistakes” and to realise I’m far from alone on this tricky parenting journey!

Vicky JonesSo many start out as idealistic new parents, aiming for perfection. I think what’s more important is simply doing your best, on a case by case basis. Learning how to be the parent your child needs - not in competition with other parents at school or on social media, but because that’s where real satisfaction grows from. “Comparison is the thief of joy,” remember? And beauty is so often found in the imperfections.

Visit us Family Times New Zealand on Facebook to have your say!

What works for my family

Resource information10 Calendar of events 10 School term dates11 Entertainment16 Top reads

Distribution Printed and distributed quarterly approximately two weeks before each major school holiday. 34,602 are distributed through early childhood centres, primary, intermediate schools and city council libraries. The opinions expressed in this publication are not those of the publisher unless indicated otherwise. No part of this publication may be reprinted without the expressed written permission of the publisher. Family Times is not responsible for unsolicited material. Family Times is funded and published solely through the support of its advertisers. They support us, please support them.

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A miscarriage or stillbirth are far more than the death of an expectation, hope or dream. They are the loss of a much anticipated family member, as Vanessa O’Brien reports. It was the 24th of February 2008 when the induced labour pains started to wrack Racheal O’Brien’s body at the Garden Room of Christchurch Hospital’s maternity ward.In theory, it was no different than the much anticipated births of her first two children, Justis (now 11-years-old) and Joshua (now 9-years-old). But this time, as the contractions beat out their accelerated rhythm towards inevitable delivery, there was no hopeful expectation: only a deep, gut-wrenching agony, as Jasmine Grace’s fragile body slipped into the world just hours after her heart beat for the last time. Ironically, Jasmine’s death meant Racheal’s life: Racheal refused to induce labour until Jasmine’s heartbeat failed, even though every minute she continued the pregnancy, her spiralling blood pressure threatened to kill them both. Racheal hadn’t anticipated the pregnancy: with Justis about to start school and Joshua soon to be in longer preschool hours, she was toying with the idea of a part-time job. But even if the timing was off, she says she had a sense of excitement about the pending addition to the family. “Yes, I was definitely excited, but at the same time I think I intrinsically knew that something wasn’t right, right from the beginning,” Racheal said.A scan at 11 weeks indicated there was a problem with the pregnancy, and that the baby was possibly Down Syndrome. But the real shock came at her 18-week-scan. Medical staff noticed deformities; a missing heart ventricle, underdeveloped kidneys and extra digits. An amniocentesis determined that Jasmine had Trisomy 13 - a chromosomal abnormality in which some or all of the cells of the body contain extra genetic material from chromosome 13.“It was surreal. It was like it wasn’t really happening, but it was happening. It’s like you’re walking through it, but you’re not. Like you’re outside of your own body.”Racheal continued with the pregnancy knowing that she was unlikely to carry Jasmine to term, and that if she did, Jasmine wouldn’t survive more than a few hours. “Every day you wondered, “is this the day?” Yet I could feel her moving.”Jasmine weighed a tiny 3 pound 2 when she was born at 28 weeks’ gestation. Racheal and her husband stayed in the Garden Room overnight, holding Jasmine’s fragile wee body in a Moses basket. Then they took her to the funeral home, and left with a tiny white coffin for the funeral two days later.As traumatic as that was, the hardest part by far, Racheal said, was yet to come: after the burial and everybody went home, and the silence set in. “I think for the first few weeks, people are quite understanding. But after that, they’ve forgotten. I found that really hard, and very isolating.”

Breaking the silenceThat’s something that SANDS NZ, a network of parent-run, non-profit groups supporting families who have experienced the death of a baby, is aiming to turn around says SANDS former chairperson Cathy Buntting.“I think the best thing – the most helpful – is to acknowledge the significance of the loss. It’s a huge gift to families that others continue

to acknowledge the life of the baby over the weeks and months and years.”Rewind to a generation ago and miscarriage and stillbirth were very hush hush. Even today, with all our claims of progression and modernity, we don’t like to talk about it, said Cathy. Conversely, that’s often the one thing that can bring healing. “A generation ago, it was believed that women should just move on, and to forget the baby, not talk about the baby. Often the baby was buried in an unmarked grave. And now, a generation on, those parents – now grandmothers – can find it very difficult to embrace a different way of approaching a baby’s death.“Within SANDS NZ we are very clear that we do not distinguish between levels of grief. A parent who has lost a baby, no matter what age or gestation, is entitled – and should be encouraged – to grieve. They need to be allowed to grieve in order to once again find life that is meaningful.”

Miscarriage and stillbirthWhat is startling is just how many families are affected by miscarriage and stillbirth. New Zealand’s leading expert, Professor Lesley McCowan of Auckland University’s gynaecology and obstetrics department, stated in a 2012 article that three million ba-bies worldwide are stillborn every year. That’s more deaths than from HIV. Yet according to the World Health Organisation, stillbirth is seriously underfunded. It sits behind other health priorities such as diarrhoea, HIV/Aids, tuberculosis, traffic accidents, and any form of cancer. Back on home turf, a large New Zealand population-based study established that one in three New Zealand women have experienced miscarriage, and an estimated one in every four pregnancies end in miscar-riage. It’s an estimate because miscarriage is not a notifiable event in New Zealand, and no national research has been conducted into the occurrence per known pregnancy. However, statistics from other Western countries such as Australia and the UK are on par. Miscarriage in Australia and New Zealand is defined as a pregnancy that ends spontane-ously before 20 weeks gestation. The param-eters of stillbirth vary around the world; the international measure is 28 weeks gestation, but New Zealand registers babies from 20 weeks into the pregnancy, or from when the babies weigh 400g. Statistics New Zealand figures say 420 of 2011’s 61,403 pregnancies were stillborn, dying at between 20 and 40 weeks of pregnancy.Cathy has experienced both miscarriage and stillbirth, and says that while it’s impossible to distinguish any difference in the level of grief, the process is very different. “A woman who loses a baby in early stages of pregnancy will sometimes deliver normally or will sometimes have a D&C. A woman who has a stillbirth will deliver naturally or have a caesarean. A natural birth is very much encouraged, and my own personal experience was that that was very traumatic. But for most women to deliver their babies, it is one of the few acts of parenting that they can have.”A stillborn baby is also required to be registered, and the body either buried or cremated. “That means that the experience can be different in terms of farewelling the baby,” Cathy said.

Life after losing a babyKirsten Te Momo says the hardest thing about life after losing a baby, is the fact that it goes on.“After we’d done her funeral, and we had her ashes, life went on. And I remember a week later going for my first hair appointment since I lost her and I just remember sitting on a couch bawling my eyes out thinking “how can anyone live still? How can everyone just carry on?” It was like having empty arms – I gave birth, but where’s my baby?”Kirsten’s baby girl Freedom died at 22-weeks gestation in 2013. Kirsten was induced and gave birth naturally in the same Garden Room as Racheal, at Christchurch hospital, after complications with the pregnancy.People’s response to her grief was the hardest thing to deal with, she said. There were a few key people who were great, but a lot more that she “wanted to slap.”“I felt that there were times when people’s lack of ability to have anything to say just blew my mind. They didn’t even have the compassion to say, “I’m so sorry for what has happened.” I had so many people completely and utterly ignore that it had happened and talk about the weather.”She put that down to ignorance, or people’s

discomfort with the situation. But ignoring it only made them feel better, rather than her, she said. However, sometimes relief came from the most unexpected quarters: for example, friends of her then 6-year-old son Hosea. “I got some of the most amazing comments from some of the little girls in his class. One little girl came up to me and said, “Mrs Te Momo, I am so sorry that your baby died,” and she gave me a card that she’d made. And I remember thinking, that child had more compassion and wisdom than more than half of the adults I know.”Both Racheal and Kirsten went on to have another child: Racheal’s son Shiloh is now 6-years-old, and Kirsten’s daughter Harmony is now 1-year-old. Racheal said that going on to have another child was an incredibly important part of the healing process for her, but nothing could replace Jasmine. “Even today, with our family – even for Shiloh, who wasn’t even born – Jasmine is very much a part of our family. He’ll sometimes ask to go and see her grave. I just think it’s really important to be natural about the way that we acknowledge her and remember her in our family.”

Miscarriage and stillbirthfeature story

Tips for helping friends and family who have lost a baby

It’s so hard to know the right thing to say to someone who has experienced miscarriage or a stillbirth. That’s why a lot of people don’t say anything at all. However, there are lots of things that you can do to support them in their grief.

1 Acknowledge their loss, and don’t pretend it never happened. Even an early miscarriage can cause significant and lasting grief: don’t ignore or minimise that.

2 Be there for them. Grieving people tend to retreat – keep calling, visiting, and letting them know you are there.

3 Listen to them. They may need to talk about their baby and show you photos. This may not be comfortable for you, but remember: this is their baby, and a precious member of their family.

4 Offer to field phone calls or answer letters and cards until they feel up to it. The parents may be open to lots

of people visiting or they may not – everyone is different. Ask them.

5 Grandparents and siblings grieve too – they may need some support.

6 Be practical – organise a roster to bring around dinners, arrange childcare for siblings, and offer to help clean the house or run errands.

7 Help them to find a pregnancy and neonatal loss support group. Talking to others who have had a similar experience can be very comforting.

8 Refer to their baby by name, if they had chosen and announced a name. This is a great way to acknowledge their child existed, if only for a short time.

9 Never, ever say “it was for the best,” or “you can always have another baby.”

10 If you’re really stuck, just say “I am so sorry about the loss of your baby,” and this will mean the world to grieving parents.

“I think I intrinsically knew that something

wasn’t right, right from the beginning,” Racheal

said.


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WELLINGTON / ISSUE 60 / Summer 2014

A news magazine and online resource for families

www.familytimes.co

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Win with Us

on Facebook10 Win Win Win

Competitions, giveaways

and more

6 How to stalk your kids

Get online savvy and beat

them at their own game.

8 Multiple births

How to manage more

than one baby.

5 Siblings with different capabilities

Reward effort, not ability,

for

family harmony.


CHRISTCHURCH / ISSUE 75 / Spring 2014

18 Win Win Win Competitions, giveaways

and more

6 ComfortersWhen it’s time for kids

to let go 11ADHD

Is the answer in

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Play: consider it a child’s work. Because it’s in times of wild imagination, creativity and fun that kids can learn the most.

But it’s more than that too. What is increasingly being recognised is that the

one vital ingredient in supporting healthy intellectual, emotional and social development in children is the opportunity to just enjoy being a kid through unstructured playtime. Dr David Whitebread from the University of Cambridge argues in a 2012 report supporting play time that people as a whole have essentially become too serious, and too focused on achievement. So while a focus on and investment in a high quality early childhood education has increased, the definition of high quality seems to be on introducing literacy and numeracy as soon as possible, and preparation for school years, rather than on opportunities for rich play.

There are five kinds of play that are important for kids:1 Physical play – rough-and-tumble, skipping etc.2 Playing with objects – building blocks,

sand, cars, dolls etc.3 Symbolic play - this is the ability of

children to use objects, actions or ideas to represent other objects, actions, or ideas as play. A child may push a block around the floor as a car or put it to his ear as a cell phone.

4 Pretend play – using imagination, i.e. pretending to shop, mow the lawns, build a space rocket etc.

5 Games with rules – tag, duck duck goose etc.Each type of play supports a range of cognitive and emotional developments, and a good balance of play experience is regarded as a healthy play diet for children. This is something that parents can get involved in – parents; it’s a great opportunity to spend some quality time with your kids, even if you have to schedule it. Set the oven timer for half-an-hour, and make that transition from work into playtime – maybe even change into relaxed play clothes if it helps. Then enter your child’s magical world, and during this time, give your child 100 percent of your attention – no phone calls, no preparing dinner.

Here are some ideas to expand on play time for your kids:1 Pillow fight. This is a pretty

straightforward, rough-and-tumble game that lets out a bunch of energy and laughter. No prep or forward-thinking required.

2 Lego or other building games/toys. These games are great object games, but can also be symbolic or pretend games. You can make a pretend piece of fruit out of Lego, or perhaps build a pretend village with shops and little people. You can add to it over each playtime.

3 Glow-stick tag. This is a great one for winter, with early sunsets. As dusk settles, hand out the glow-sticks – with one in a different colour for the person who is “it.”

4 Online or technology-based games. While it’s great to get outdoors and release some of that energy, your digital native will appreciate it just as much if you sit down with them for a game of Minecraft and enter their tech-based world.

5 What’s on my butt? This is a winner-of-a-game that you won’t have to even move for. Lie face down on the couch and try to guess what object you child has perched on your tush. “Is that a cement mixer on my butt?” Just getting to hear you say

the word “butt” is the best thing that will happen to your kid all day.

6 Built a “tent.” Let them drag the blankets and the sheets out of the cupboards, then use whatever surrounding furniture you can find to build a “tent.” Pretend camp can be fun, especially with snacks inside the new structure.

7 Sock puppets. Drag that pile of odd socks into the middle of the room with some stickers that can be used for eyes, mouth, ears etc, and get creative with sock puppet characters. If your kids are a bit older, they may be able to stitch on buttons.

Taking play seriously

“A good balance of play experience is regarded

as a healthy play diet for children.”

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We have a fantastic prize pack from our friends at The Warehouse, www.thewarehouse.co.nz. Valued at $170, the prize pack contains Minions action figures (assorted,) Minions Talking Stuart with Guitar and a Minions Fart Blaster. To enter to win please visit

www.familytimes.co.nz. Competition closes 17 July 17 2015.


Pushing you kids to be perfect may backfire, according to a report by the Journal of Experimental Psychology.

The report, published in 2013, says that parents who practice perfectionist

parenting did make their child strive to be more perfect, but also increased their child’s anxiety. Also, children who were not subjected to perfectionist parenting actually performed better than children who were.

What is perfectionist parenting?Every parent wants the best for their child – they want them to succeed in life. But pushing a child towards perfection, even with the best of intentions, can have dramatic consequences. Dr Jim Taylor says that parents pass on perfectionism to their children in three ways:

1 Intentional: Some perfectionist parents deliberately raise their children to be perfectionists by actively praising and rewarding success and punishing failure. These parents offer or withdraw their love based on whether their children meet their expectations. When they succeed, their parents lavish them with love, attention and gifts. But when they fail, their parents either withdraw their love and become cold and distance, or express anger and resentment toward their children. The children then get the message that they must be perfect to receive their parents’ love.

2 Unintentional: Most perfectionist parenting is unintentional. Parents sometimes unintentionally model perfectionism for their children by the way they keep their home, their career efforts, their competitiveness in sports or games, and how they respond when things don’t go their way. These parents unwittingly communicate to their children that anything less than perfection will not be tolerated in the family. These parents tend to over-discipline – every small indiscretion is blown out of proportion and “corrected.”

3 Non-perfectionists. The final type of parent who strives for perfectionism are those who are not perfectionists at all – in fact, they may be the antithesis of perfect. But they want to make sure that they correct all of their mistakes in their children. They usually revert to the withdrawing love and affection model (as in #1), and use a perfectionist model to try and absolve their own imperfections, to no avail.

What’s wrong with perfection?There’s nothing wrong with perfection in itself, except that it is unobtainable. This constant reaching for unobtainable perfection, and fear of disappointing parents, can have far-reaching consequences for kids as they mature. One of those consequences is anxiety. Children might link being loved with being perfect, and that message can make a routine maths test or rugby game a cause for sleepless nights and sore tummies. Another outcome is that children become less playful, less creative, and more risk-adverse.

They stick to games and projects they know are safe to avoid the anxiety over possible failure. Some kids with perfectionist parents result to rebellion – they give up trying to please their parents, since they can never achieve perfection.In the end, kids with perfectionist parents often end up modelling the same parenting methods with their own kids.

How can you change your perfectionist parenting?The good news is, it’s not too late to change some of your perfectionist habits and relax a bit more in your parenting style.

1 Remove yourself from all the pressure around you making you feel like you have to be a perfect parent with perfect kids, whether it’s external (perhaps from your own parents’ expectations) or the internal voice in your head. There is no perfect

parent. Let the washing build up, sit down and read a book. The world won’t end.

2 There’s a world of difference between demanding perfection and striving for excellence. Encourage your kids to strive for excellence, and support them even when they fail. If your child knows that you love him even when he fails, he’ll feel free to take chances and pursue his goals without anxiety. It’s okay to tell him you are disappointed if he didn’t put in his best effort – this is different than failure, and can encourage him to try harder without making him feel like a failure.

3 Relax the rules. Living in a world where there is a rule for everything is soul-destroying to kids. Instead, pick a few really important rules and stick to them like glue. That way, your child has the security of knowing boundaries without feeling like he’s in a prison.

Perfectionist parenting

win win winecostore

Win one of eight ecostore Healthy Skin Kits, valued at RRP$24.99: a luxurious assortment of ecostore hand and body care products to pamper you or a loved one from head to toe!The ecostore Healthy Skin Kit contains:· Extra Moisturising Body Lotion· Extra Moisturising Hand Cream· Fragrance Free Hand Wash· Fragrance Free Goats’ Milk Soap· Lemongrass Soap· Beeswax Lip balmIt’s all packed in a sturdy gift box made from recycled cardboard, featuring artwork by John Reynolds.

To enter, visit www.familytimes.co.nz . Competition closes 17 July 2015.


Did you know that there’s a large amount of unwanted money out there? Apparently, there’s approximately $80m in old coins and some $36m in bank notes plus loads of foreign cash. The Lions’ HU4K project collects everything from pre/old decimal currency and bank notes through to any foreign currency.The magic of this collection is taking something that doesn’t have much use and turning it into something really positive

– life changing opportunities for Kiwi teens. Please take your old NZ/foreign money to any Resene ColorShop or selected New World Supermarkets. It’s as easy as that!

Turn old money into opportunities with NZ Lions

Both adults and children can suffer with crippling heel pain. Expert help is available at Active Feet Podiatry.In adults, the most common cause for this pain is a strain to a structure known as the plantar fascia. In children aged 11 to 14-years it is usually an irritation to a growth plate in the calcaneus or heel bone. This condition is known as Sever’s disease.

Dr Halpine can prescribe exercises and fit orthotic devices to give relief to both these groups of sufferers. Call Active Feet Podiatry to get an appointment. Its offices are conveniently located at level two, 85 The Terrace, Wellington, and at the Ngaio Medical Centre. Phone 04-473-8696 or visit wwwActiveFeetPodiatry.com.

An end to painful heels!

win win winsleepDropsFrazzled? Overtired? SleepDrops Super Family Pack contains sleep and stress remedies for the whole family! SleepDrops for Babies, SleepDrops for Kids, Essential Sleep and Stress Nutrients powder and DayDrops. Sleep well, live well with SleepDrops. Valued at $154, we have one Super Family Pack to give away to our readers. Enter at www.familytimes.co.nz . Entries close 17 July 2015.

Teaching kids food literacyEvery parent wants to raise a healthy, happy child. But with busy lifestyles, healthy eating can easily take a back seat to convenience.

After all, it’s easier to pick up fish and chips for dinner than to prepare a hearty

casserole or salad. But the result, according to Garden to Table founding trustee Catherine Bell, is a lack of “food literacy” in today’s generation, with many children having no clue where their food comes from, let alone how to cook it.With parents having less time to teach food literacy, and possibly not the same food knowledge as previous generations, food literacy should ideally be taught in schools to back-up home-based learning says Bell. That’s where she sees organisations such as Garden to Table playing a role. Garden to Table is a charitable trust established in 2009 to facilitate a programme of food education for children aged 7 to 10-years.Bell wants the New Zealand Government to invest in a curriculum-based food skills programme. She’s taking her cue from others overseas, such as celebrity chef Jamie Oliver, who is petitioning the governments of G20 countries to introduce food education programmes in their nations’ schools in the wake of a global obesity epidemic. The World Health Organisation rates childhood obesity as “one of the most serious public health challenges of the 21st century,” with more than 42 million children under the age of five categorised as obese. Closer to home, New Zealand’s Ministry of Health figures show that childhood obesity in New Zealand is on the rise. According to 2013 figures, one in every nine children (11 per cent) is categorised as obese, up from 8%

in 2007. A further one in five children (22%) is overweight.The question is how to tackle the issue. Lots of schools have gardens, but the difference with Garden to Table according to Garden to Table executive officer Anne Barrowclough, is that it is more than growing vegetables or just understanding how to make good food choices. “It’s actually about empowering children with a hands-on lesson, full of practical skill

development focused on how to action those choices – what you need to grow your own tomatoes, how you follow a recipe, how to cook from fresh ingredients. It also adds immediacy and relevance to science and maths concepts.“Learning is about more than telling, it is about experiencing, active engagement and interaction.” The Stephanie Alexander Kitchen Garden Foundation, which runs a similar programme in Australia, recently evaluated how well its food literacy programme worked. As well as more children taking initiative to start home veggie gardens and to cook at home, there were unexpected spin-off benefits. These included improvements in students’ social behaviours; improvement in students’ teamwork skills, modifying of previous bullying behaviour, improvement in managing difficult behaviour, interacting with people of many ages, and development of leadership skills.Bell says with this in mind, food

education programmes in schools have the potential to change the attitudes and habits of whole future generations. “It enables children to learn skills and have experiences that will influence

and inform the rest of their lives and positively impact outcomes across their education, health and social development as well as give them respect for others and the natural world.

“Bell wants the New Zealand Government to invest in a curriculum-

based food skills programme.”

Family Family FootcareFootcare

www.activefeetpodiatry.com

Level 2, 85 The Terrace, WellingtonPhone: 04 473 8696

Services we offer include:• Sports injuries• Children’s foot issues• Verrucae• Skin and

nail problems• Orthotic Services

Active Feet Podiatry

Dr. Tim Halpine Caring for your

feet.

BOOK AN APPT TODAY


The OKU Cough & Chest Elixir range utilises a unique blend of New Zealand native herbs that have all been traditionally used for a range of respiratory and bronchial conditions. Both blends have a completely natural base that includes the beautiful tasting and therapeutic properties of rewarewa honey, and they may assist in both wet and dry coughs. Both formulas are suitable for children aged 1-plus. For

more information, visit www.oku.co.nz.We have six bottles of OKU’s Children’s Elixir and the original Cough & Chest Elixir to give away. To enter, visit www.familytimes.co.nz. Competition closes 17 July 2015.

oKU new ZeAlAnD nAtive herbAl proDUcts win win win

Welcome to Kids’ Time at Family Times. Enjoy the fun activities and competitions. For competitions, enter online by visiting

www.familytimes.co.nz and click on the competitions link. Looking for some rainy day activities for your children? Click on the For Kids section on our

website for answers and for further activities your children can print out and complete.

KiDs’ tiMe

spot the DifferenceCan you spot 6 differences

seArch-A-worD

www.minions.co.nzparamountnz #minions

20 FEBRUARY 10 TO FEBRUARY 23, 2015

Now 100% NZ FREE FARMED

Look for the new packs in store now!

kiwibacon.co.nz

win win win

Disney Pixar’s Inside Out

To celebrate the much anticipated release on 25 June of the Disney•Pixar film Inside Out we have five fantastic prize packs to give away. Each prize pack contains:1 Inside Out umbrella 1 Inside Out cap 1 Inside Out bag Competition closes 17 July 2015, enter at www.familytimes.co.nz

win win win

SUBWAY Disney•Pixar themed KidsPak™ To celebrate the launch of the new SUBWAY Disney•Pixar themed KidsPak™, we’re giving away a Disney•Pixar Inside Out gift pack valued at more than $140 for four lucky winners. To win, simply visit www.familytimes.co.nz. Competition closes 5 July 2015.


M A Z e



connect the Dots

Design coMpetition

This issue we would love you to draw your favourite winter scene. Maybe it’s one of your favourite places to go in winter or your favourite winter activity. Then tell us all about it.

Send us your picture (either via post or email) and you will be in to win a wonderful prize pack for creative kiwi kids from Crayola. There are three entry age groups: 1-4, 5-8, and 9-12.

Don’t forget to write your name, age, description and postal address (so we can send you your prize if you win!) Post to PO Box 36,004 Christchurch 8146 or email: [email protected]. Entries close 17 July 2015.

A huge congratulations to the winners of our last issue’s design competition:

1-4 Zara Quinn (4)

5-8 Sarah Aitken

9-12 Max Breingan (10)

Visit www.familytimes.co.nz to view the winning entries.Wellington

win win winMinions

We have five fantastic prize packs from our friends at Paramount Pictures to celebrate the release of the new Minions’ film. To enter, visit www.familytimes.co.nz. Competition closes 17 July 2015.First prize winner:- 1 x Minions family in-season movie pass (two adults, two children)- 1 x Minions suitcase - 1 x Minions shopper bag - 1 x Despicable Me DVD box set – Despicable Me 1 and Despicable Me 2- 1 x Minions toy: Interactive Talking Stuart with Guitar (RRP$100) Four runner-up prizes- 1 x Minions family in-season movie pass (two adults, two children)- 1 x Minions shopper bag - 1 x Despicable Me mini-movies series DVD

win win winCookie Bear Snap ‘n’ Play biscuits

Griffins’ new Cookie Bear Snap ‘n’ Play biscuits are themed packets of bikkies each with their own set of fun-loving characters – from pirates to pop stars and astronauts – that kids can snap off and eat, making them not only yum but so much fun! Available in three delicious flavours and free from artificial flavours or colours, Cookie Bear Snap ‘n’ Play biscuits are available now from supermarkets nationwide.We have three prize packs to give away, each including 20 packets of biscuits plus a pirate and a pop star re-usable colouring placemat. Competition closes 17 July 2015, enter at www.familytimes.co.nz.


Get out and about and make the most of winter days with the following family-friendly events. For more event and entertainment ideas, visit www.familytimes.co.nz and enjoy our large, family-friendly resource.22 June – 19 JulyWellington Outdoor Ice Rink and Tube Slide. A spectacular, brand new outdoor ice rink and a mega tubing slide at Odlins Plaza, Cable Street, 10am -10pm daily. Visit www.paradice.co.nz for details.

23, 25 and 26 JuneMatariki Show for young children. Don’t miss this interactive Matariki performance especially for children aged 5 and under. From 10.30 – 11.15am, Te Papa. Free admission.

26 JuneBrooke Fraser at The Opera House. See award-winning New Zealand folk/popular singer/songwriter Brooke Fraser perform a selection of her hits. At 7pm, The Opera House. Visit premier.ticketek.co.nz to secure tickets.

27 JuneGarage sale for Vanuatu. At Island Bay Presbyterian Church, 88 The Parade, Island

Bay, Wellington, 10am – 12pm. Clothes, home-ware, gardening gear, books, toys, electrical and fresh baking served with fairtrade coffee: all proceeds to help Vanuatu.

27 JuneKids’ theatre, puppet show and work-shop. Free show - enjoy some fun theatre and stories. Kids must be accompanied by an adult. At Southern Cross Garden Bar and Restaurant, 39 Abel Street, 11am. Visit www.thecross.co.nz.

4 JulyMatariki Whanau Day. Share an unforget-table and interactive Matariki experience with stories, displays, and making putangitangi with clay. E Central, 4 Queens Wharf, 10.30am - 12pm. Koha entry. Bookings 04-913-740.

5 JulyWellington Marathon. Full Marathon, half marathon, 10k, 5k and Kids’ Magic Mile. More than 5000 runners and walkers line up for this great annual occasion. Visit www.wellington-marathon.co.nz for details.

9 - 10 JulyMega Inflatable Day. Kilbirnie Recreation Centre, 101 Kilbirnie Crescent, Wellington. More bouncy castles than you can imagine including the giant slide, obstacle run and preschool bouncers. Visit wellington.govt.nz for details.

11 JulyMagical Musical Moments. An enchanting one-off classical concert by children, for chil-dren! Hear the Wellington District winners of the Chamber Music New Zealand National Contest. From 11am-12pm, E Central, 4 Queens Wharf, free. Bookings 04-913-740.

12 JulyPink Ribbon Brunch. A Pink Ribbon break-fast with fun, entertainment, cooked break-fast and so much more. From 10am, adults $20, children under 10 $10, under 3-years free. Petone Working Mens Club, 47 Udy Street, Petone. Tickets at reception.

25 – 26 JulyCapital E Open House Weekend. Cel-ebrate 150 years of Wellington as the capital city with Capital E! Rock out in the Musical Forest plus much more. From 9.30am-3.30pm, E Central, 4 Queens Wharf, free entry. Phone 04-913-3740.

31 JulyKilbernie Roller Disco. Put on your skates and enjoy a night full of fun activities for the whole family. Gold coin donation. Some skates for hire – bring your own if you have

2015/2016 primary and intermediate school term datesTerm 3, 2015Monday 20 July to Friday 25 SeptemberTerm 4, 2015Monday 12 October to no later than Friday 18 DecemberTerm 1, 2016Between Monday 1 February and Friday 5 February to Friday 15 AprilTerm 2, 2016Monday 2 May to Friday 8 July

2015 and 2016 secondary and composite school term datesTerm 3, 2015Monday 20 July to Friday 25 SeptemberTerm 4, 2015Monday 12 October to no later than Wednesday 16 DecemberTerm 1, 2016Between Monday 1 February and Friday 5 February to Friday 15 AprilTerm 2, 2016Monday 2 May to Friday 8 JulyRemaining public holidays 201526 October Labour Day25 December Christmas Day 26 December Boxing Day

SCHOOLTERM DATES

cool activities

Calendar of Events

Escape to Paradice this winter with outdoor ice-skating and mega tubing slide.

Coastlands, Paraparaumu • www.dtcoastlands.co.nz

Info Hotline: 298 6175

Opening 25th June Opening 25th June

www.girlsbrigade.nzE-mail: [email protected]

An invitation to all girls aged5 to 18...

Come join the fun & friendship at any of our nationwide locations.

New Zealand

Bookings: (04)934 4068 Tickets $10 : Groups 10+ $9 www.kapitallkidstheatre.co.nz

Gryphon Theatre Wellington 7 - 18 July 2015

11am & 1pm Weekdays / 11am Saturdays

LASERTAG WELLINGTON

IS THE ULTIMATE

BIRTHDAY PARTY

VENUE!Kids get all the excitement of challenging their friends at laser tag using the latest Laserforce battle suits as well as a choice of over 50 games in the Laserforce Wellington arcade.

For all this lots more at fantastic prices, visit www.laser-force.co.nz or call us now on 04-384 4622

? Individual meal options? No mess to clean up!? Parents can join in too? Service second-to-none


them. Kilbirnie Recreation Centre, 101 Kilbirnie Crescent. From 6.30 -9pm.

8 - 9 AugustWomen’s Lifestyle Expo. Everything from jewellery and beauty to business products and information, crafts, fitness, food and wine sampling and much more! TSB Bank Arena, Queens Wharf, 10am – 5pm. Visit www.ex-pos.co.nz.

16 AugustKids’ Cross Country Series. This year there are races for preschoolers, so there are races for year 0s though to year 8s. Grenada North Park, Jamaica Drive, Tawa, $7 per per-son. Tickets 021-976-116.

21 - 30 AugustLux Light Festival. This is a free public light festival that turns Wellington’s waterfront and laneways into a captivating celebration of light, art, technology and design. From 6-11pm, Wellington Waterfront.

4 - 6 SeptemberThe Food Show. It’s a massive delicatessen, an upmarket kitchenware shop, and the su-permarket of your dreams all rolled into one. Westpac Stadium. Visit www.foodshow.co.nz for details.

cool activities Entertainment

Find out about our Enjoy Life campaign

June-AugustKarori Pool• Hydroslide

• Aqua fitness classes

• Birthday parties

• 25 metre pool

• Toddler pool

• Spa

CSWCC

99045

22 Donald street, Karori Phone 476 8090, Wellington.govt.nz

Need a fun activity to beat the winter blues? The weather may be chilly but there are still a plethora of exciting events and entertainment destinations around the city. Here are a few ideas to get you started, and we’ve got heaps more at www.familytimes.co.nz.Capital EDance a Story with Java Dance, on at Capital E Central, 4 Queens Wharf, every Tuesday until 30 June, 10-10.30am. Cost $5 per person, Capitale.org.nz, phone 04-913-3740.

Capital ESomething Magical, on at Capital E Central, 4 Queens Wharf; crafts every Wednesday and stories every Thursday in June, 10-10.30am. Free, Capitale.org.nz, phone 04-913-3740.

Enjoy life in Lower Hutt From June until August, Hutt City Council is running its Enjoy Life campaign. Check Lower Hutt pools, libraries, the council building and The Dowse for great ideas about keeping active.

Paradice SkatingCome down to the heart of the city to experience the all-new Wellington ice rink and

ice slide. Fully covered for all weather skating at Odlins Plaza, waterfront, Wellington.

LaserforceLaserforce Generation 6 Supernova is a thrilling, state-of-the-art, high-impact game that brings out the competitive streak in everyone, as well as laughs and smiles – it’s just good fun!

StaglandsStaglands Wildlife Reserve offers visitors the unique opportunity to feed and freely interact with wildlife in a natural environment. Open daily, visit www.staglands.co.nz.

Holiday specialsHere are some great holiday ideas designed to keep you and your little ones entertained during the school break. StaglandsFree marshmallows for visitors to toast on the campfire at Staglands these July school holidays. Visit www.staglands.co.nz.

Kapitall Kids TheatreKapitall Kids Theatre presents The Sword in the Stone: a tale of magic, friendship and heroism. Arthur journeys into the forest to find the legendary sword and the true king.

Windmill Music ShowWindmill Music Show presents In The Jungle for the July school holidays! This is an interactive and fun musical show for kids aged 1 to 7-years. At Lifepoint Church, 61 Hopper Street, Mt Cook. 7 – 9 July. Visit www.windmillmusic.co.nz.

Kidzstuff TheatreThe Elves and the Shoemaker at Kidzstuff Theatre: cheeky elves Filly and Pilly have fallen on hard times. Can they make it in the highly competitive world of foot-fashion?

Get into Something Magical at Capital E Central.

At Family Times, we’re ex-cited about the great out-doors and DOC’s Virtual Great Walker competition. Last summer we put out DOC’s challenge to New Zealand kids to get walking and win a trip for their class to one of DOC’s Great Walk sites. Thousands of Kiwi kids spent the first school term of 2015 walking in their school grounds, local tracks and nature reserves, all in the hopes of chalking up enough kilometres to qualify for the Virtual Great Walker grand prize.The DOC competition, supported by Air New Zealand, was open to groups of five or more students aged 5 to 13-years. To be

eligible for the grand prize, groups explored their local area until they had walked at least half the total distance of a Great Walk of their choice. They then submitted a creative presentation on what they learned about conservation and nature in their local area.Last week, Hamilton’s Hillcrest Normal School was judged as having the best entry out of 153 registrations from schools and community groups across the country. They created a dedicated website about their Vir-tual Great Walker journey. The secondary prize winners were an enthu-siastic community group, Mangere Bridge. They created an amazing scrapbook of their discovery of local places and species. They are receiving $500 worth of vouchers. “The competition has been a real success with an enormous amount of effort put into

videos, posters, websites and scrapbooks by children around the country,” says DOC outreach and education manager Sarah Murray. “It’s heartening to see conservation being incorporated into the curriculum in this way and the impact it’s had on Kiwi kids. We hope as a result more families will consider getting out and experiencing a Great Walk for themselves.”Sarah says it was also great to see that Hillcrest School, members of the Enviroschools programme, had taken the message of conservation and sustainability firmly on board. As first place winners, the group of 32 very excited Hillcrest students will head to Abel Tasman Coast Track during Conservation Week in early November to experience a Great Walk in real life.Hillcrest Normal School’s room seven

teacher Stacey Vowles says the class is very excited at the prospect of experiencing a Great Walk.“The Virtual Great Walker was an amazing competition that excited the kids. It gave us a purpose to go outside and learn more about the living world around us. The kids learnt to appreciate their community and notice things they wouldn’t normally. It was also special to get families involved in our learning journey.” Stacey says the prize will provide a unique learning opportunity for many of the kids.“Over half of the class haven’t been to the South Island before and a third have never been on a plane - so they are all incredibly excited about their upcoming trip as you can imagine.” A panel of DOC and Air New Zealand staff judged the entries and chose the winner.

Kiwi kids experience DOC’s Great Walks


Staying warm, well and safe in winter takes a bit more effort than in sunny summer months. We’ve got some tips to keep your family on track during winter’s icy grip. Family health Vitamin C – during winter, when vegeta-bles and fruits high in the immune-boosting vitamin are scarce, you may need to take reg-ular vitamin C supplements to support body tissue growth, healthy blood vessels, strong bones and teeth, and to ward off winter influ-enza. Flu injection - if you haven’t already, con-sider getting flu injections for you and your family. It may even be free – enquire with your local GP. Dress warm – kids will fight it and swear they’re not cold, but make sure they’re wrapped up snug even inside the house to help prevent the onset of coughs and colds. Hand sanitiser – give the kids small bottles for school, and make sure they use it – this will help stop the spread of germs that result in winter illnesses.

Family home Insulation: A snug, cosy and warm en-vironment is crucial for winter wellness. Consider insulating your home if you haven’t already. Check out EECA Energywise grants

– you may be eligible for a subsidy towards insulation and an energy efficient heatpump. Open windows. It’s important to do this regularly – every day – to prevent dampness and mould that create an unhealthy environ-ment. Draught stoppers. Invest in door sausag-es for internal doors, v-seal around windows and doors, and draught stops for under exter-nal doors to stop heat escaping.

Winter driving Driver slower. Drive slower than you normal would. It only takes a split second to lose control in wet or icy conditions. Avoid quick movements. Avoid sudden braking or turning movements that could cause you to skid. Instead, accelerate slowly and brake gently. Safe distance. Drive at a safe travelling distance because it takes longer to stop on a slippery road, especially in poor weather. Double the two-second-rule. Drive to conditions. When travelling in fog, rain or snow, drive with your lights dipped for increased safety. Plan your journey. Consider if you really need to travel, especially if the weather is very poor. Always check the weather forecasts and road conditions, and think about which route to take. Choose safety over convenience.

Community minded Don’t hibernate. We all have tendencies to snuggle up in our homes in front of our televisions until spring temperatures start to

kick in. But getting out and about has benefits. When the sun is shining, wrap up warm and take the kids out for a bike ride to the park. They’ll get rid of excess energy, and you’ll all feel better for the excursion. Invite people over. If you really don’t want to leave the safe haven of your snug win-ter home, invite family members or friends over for a potluck lunch or dinner. Company has a way of lifting our moods and a warm winter meal is always a winner. Plan activities. Make a concerted effort to plan things to do outside of the house, wheth-er it’s a simple Saturday morning grocery shop or trip to the movies. Winter sports. Encourage your kids to

get involved in a winter sport, or even get involved yourself. Keeping moving in winter is crucial to health.

Me time Schedule in personal time. It can be tricky to do when the kids are inside, but try to find a quiet corner, read a book, draw a bath or have a nap. Start a hobby. Winter is the perfect time to take up a new personal interest. What about scrapbooking, knitting/crochet or ex-ploring some new hearty and healthy winter recipes? You could even take an online lan-guage course or explore learning about topics that are of interest to you.

Winter wellness tips and tricks

“We are what we eat,” and children who consume a balanced and sustaining breakfast that maintains normal blood sugar levels are likely to have a more successful day.Consumption of carbohydrate provides glucose for the body to convert into energy. Carbohydrates can be measured by how quickly the energy is absorbed into the body: white sugar (glucose) is quickly absorbed providing a fast glycemic response. Oats (complex carbohydrate) are slowly absorbed providing a medium to low glycemic response. Over consumption of carbohydrates causes high blood sugar levels with the excess energy stored as fat

and a long term pattern that may lead to type 2 diabetes. We all need carbohydrates and we need to stay aware of fast and slow glycemic response to maintain even blood sugar levels through the day. • Eat more whole grains, porridge oats, low sugar muesli, eggs with wholemeal toast.• Drink water to help obtain the benefits of a diet higher in fibre (wholegrains). • Stay active – 20 minutes of exercise.• Maintain regular meals including sus-taining carbohydrates such as oats, barley, brown rice, pasta and wholemeal bread.

Breakfast is sustaining and important


baby & toddler

From baby language to communicationOne of the most exciting developmental stages in infants and toddlers is their growing ability to communicate.

From their first word – usually Mum or Dad – or a variation of those terms, to when

they start school, their brains are hard-wired for learning words and their meanings at a staggering rate. One of the greatest stages of development hits at about 18-months, with a language explosion that will see your toddler’s vocabulary grow from a few words at age one to 1000-2000 by his third birthday. It’s usually around this time too, that he will start to make simple combinations of words to form short sentences, i.e, “go car,” or “no bath.”You probably won’t understand everything they say for some time – after all, some consonants are tricky, and words with blended sounds (such as pl, or br) can take some time. What is important, and worth celebrating, is your toddler’s efforts to make himself understood. If you are a first-time parent, you may have some questions or concerns about your child’s language development. Plunket clinical advisor Marg Bigsby says this is normal. “Language development is a topic that often comes up. First time parents often have more questions, and this is exactly the kind of topic to discuss with your Plunket nurse, who can in most cases offer reassurance that your child’s language is developing just fine or, if required, refer to a specialist.”Here are some general guidelines for language development in little ones:

By the end of 3 monthsBy the end of three months, your child might: Smile when you appear.Startle upon hearing loud sounds.Make “cooing” sounds.Quiet or smile when spoken to.Seem to recognise your voice.Cry differently for different needs.

By the end of 6 monthsBy the end of six months, your child might: Make gurgling sounds when playing with you or left alone.Babble and make a variety of sounds.Use his or her voice to express pleasure and displeasure.Move his or her eyes in the direction of sounds.Respond to changes in the tone of your voice.Notice that some toys make sounds.Pay attention to music.

By the end of 12 monthsBy the end of 12 months, your child might: Try imitating words.Say a few words, such as “dada,” “mama” and “uh-oh.”Understand simple instructions, such as “Come here.”

Recognise words for common items, such as shoe.Turn and look in the direction of sounds.Respond to “no.”

By the end of 18 monthsBy the end of 18 months, your child might: Point to an object or picture when it’s named.Recognise names of familiar people, objects and body parts.Follow simple directions accompanied by gestures.Say as many as eight to 10 words.

By the end of 24 monthsBy the end of 24 months, your child might: Use simple phrases, such as “more milk.”

Ask one- to two-word questions, such as “Go bye-bye?”Follow simple commands without the help of gestures.Speak at least 50 words.

When to check with your child’s doctorTalk to your child’s doctor or a Plunket nurse if your child hasn’t mastered most of the speech and language development milestones for his or her age or you’re concerned about any aspect of your child’s development. Speech delays occur for many reasons, and it’s important to tackle them quickly in order to prepare your child for school.

“What is important, and worth celebrating,

is your toddler’s efforts to make himself

understood.”

Looking for an all-in-one family-friendly supplement to support quality sleep and optimal health? Try our SleepDrops powder!Suitable for ages 2 and above, this product contains a comprehensive blend of key vitamins, minerals and fruit extracts to support optimal sleep, immune response, nervous and adrenal system function, energy levels, and cardiovascular well-being. Mix the powder into a delicious drink for the whole family! Prioritise your family’s sleep and get on top of your wellness strategy this winter with SleepDrops’ Essential Sleep and Stress Nutrients. Available at 1100 health stores and pharmacies nationwide and from www.sleepdrops.co.nz.Always read the label and take as directed.

New Zealand Health Shop

Parent HelpParent Help is a not-for-profit organisation that has been offering services to parents and families since 1989. • Parent Help line 0800-568-856• Counselling and family therapy• Parent education courses• Information and resourcesWe listen! Our helpline provides free, confidential and anonymous support assisting parents, caregivers, family and whanau with practical parenting advice. Phone 0800-568-856, 9am to 11pm, seven days a week. Visit www.parenthelp.org.nz or email [email protected] Help is currently offering “Different Approach, Different Response;” a course for parents of teenagers.

Gubb’s Shoes know Kiwi kids

Gubb’s have been selling children’s shoes for 20 years now, so they know that kids can give their shoes a real hammering. For this reason, they now concentrate on the sturdy children’s range made by McKinlays of Dunedin. These T-bars, sandals, velcro shoes and ankle boots are unbeatable, and they’re offered in a fantastic range of colours. For the first walkers/preschoolers, Gubbs carry the full Bobux range of soft-soles, Step ups and I Walks.Gubb’s Shoes is proud to stock these top quality kids’ shoes from two NZ family owned companies.

“When young bears go to bed, a fewSleepDrops before the story is read”

www.sleepdrops.co.nzCALL NOW to talk to our Naturopaths about helping your childget a great nights sleep and receive a free information booklet. 0800 345 999

Always read the label and take as directed.

PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS PROOF BY EMAIL This is a proof for your advertisement in the next issue of Tots to Teens magazine – please respond to it by email immediately advising EITHER your advertisement is approved for print OR advising of any changes.

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Our fi nal deadline for approval is Friday 6 September 2013.No changes may be made after this date. Colours may vary from those shown for all ads printed on newsprint.

Thank you for your assistance, if you have any queries please phone your Tots to Teens consultant or our Auckland offi ce on 09 412 5123.

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Encouraging a young entrepreneurNew Zealand is ranked as the easiest place in the world to start a business, according to a 2012 World Bank survey. So how do you get your kids on board?

While there is a push to teach more financial literacy in New Zealand

schools thanks to initiatives such as ASB’s Get Wise programme, there appears to be a gap in teaching business skills, at least at a young age.The traditional model of a university degree followed by a stable job and a steady progression up the career ladder has become out-dated says entrepreneur Lindy Abittan. A lot of students who graduate from top universities struggle for months to find a decent job, and often end up with one outside of their field of study. But if children are taught from a young age how to create their own opportunities, they can make their own way in the world.

1 Goal setting Studies show that written goals are

more than 80 per cent more likely to be achieved. Help your kids learn how to identify their goals and write them down. It could be to earn enough money to buy a new tablet, or to raise start-up money for a small business. Get your kids to use the S.M.A.R.T system to organise their goals – they should be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.

2 Look for opportunities Lots of people in life never live to their full

potential because they see only problems, not opportunities. Teaching your kids to turn a problem into an opportunity will not only help them to build resilience, but also to have a mindset compatible with entrepreneurship. When your child has a problem, help them come up with creative, positive solutions. How can they reach items on the high shelf? What can they do about the homework that they lost? At the very least, life’s problems are learning opportunities. This will help your kids to see that every problem has a solution, and that they can have an impact rather than accepting the negative as fact.

3 Trade is a part of everyday life The ability to sell is an invaluable life skill.

Whether your child is a natural-born sales person or not, the ability to build a case for an idea, a service, or a product will set them up well for life. Maybe they can start by selling their old toys on TradeMe – what would they write to sell Big Ted? There’s the classic lemonade stand in summer time, or perhaps

offering pet washing services. They’ll need to work out what is a fair price for their service or product, and how to convince people to buy.

4 Financial literacy Once your little munchkin has made a

few dollars towards their goal, they are going to quickly learn a lesson or two about the value of money. This is a great opportunity to teach them more about money, and a solid grasp of financial management is essential to successful entrepreneurship. Educate them about how to invest to grow their savings, and how that money can be used in the future. Let them set up a bank account and learn how to budget their income. Help them to think creatively about ways to build their income.

5 Failure is not a bad thing We’re schooled to avoid failure at all

costs – unfortunately, that leads to risk-adverse tendencies, which is a death blow to entrepreneurship. In actuality, you can learn more through failure than you ever will through success. Napoleon Hill, author of Think And Grow Rich, believes that, “Every failure carries with it a seed of equal or greater benefit.” Allowing your children to fail will force them to create new ways to accomplish their goals. Just don’t let them give up – it’s essential that they “get back on the horse.” This will lead to confident children who know how to persevere when times are tough.

“If children are taught from a young age how

to create their own opportunities, they can make their own way in

the world.”

Parliament Tours run daily, private and art focused tours for groups are run on request and need to be booked in advance.

For bookings and tour information: E: [email protected] www.parliament.nz

P: 04 817 9503

Take a free tour with a professional tour guide who will show you the historic buildings, stunning art collection and talk you through the parliamentary process.

Visit & Experience Parliament

THE SEXIEST DESSERTS IN TOWN

Open 7 Days Brunch, lunch, dinner and desert 25 Kent Terrace,Wellington (04) 385 2551

Want to sanitise that baby toy? Think again...Parents worry about their kids’ health from before they are even born. But overprotecting kids from germs can have the opposite effect from the one intended. It is the basic nature of young children to touch everything within their reach – whether it’s your pet’s food, the dish cloth or the dust in the vacuum cleaner bag. And it’s the basic nature of parents to seize that month-old raisin that’s been hiding under the couch from their little one’s hand before it inevitably makes it into their mouth. But have parents gone overboard in trying to protect their kids’ health?Studies show that it may pay to think twice

before reaching for the hand sanitizer every five minutes.

Hygiene hypothesisIn fact, a mounting body of research suggests that exposing infants to germs may offer them greater protection from illnesses such as allergies and asthma later in life. This theory is called “hygiene hypothesis.”Hygiene hypothesis theorises that when exposure to parasites, bacteria and viruses is limited in early life, that children face a greater chance of having allergies, asthma and other auto-immune diseases during adulthood. Essentially, human society has morphed and there have been radical changes to our environment; changes associated with the size of families, and moving from

a rural to an urban environment. As such, we’ve moved from a situation in which we are exposed to microbes to a more sterile environment without those exposures. A good example is with asthma – most people are no longer exposed to endotoxins that are a byproduct of livestock and farms that can help build resistance. On top of the reduction in exposure to microbes, we tend to treat every symptom with antibiotics, and our gut microflora has changed with the type of diet we eat. Studies show that kids with older siblings, who grew up on a farm, or who attended day care early in life seem to show lower rates of allergies, at least in some part due to exposure to germs. That’s because a young immune system strengthens itself and learns to adapt and regulate when exposed

to those germs. Exposure trains the infant immune system to attack bad bugs and ignore harmless things like pollen. In a recent study, a team from the North-Western University in America discovered that children who were exposed to more animal faeces and had more cases of diarrhoea before the age of 2 had less incidence of inflammation in the body as they grew into adulthood. Inflammation is linked to many chronic adulthood illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes and Alzheimers. Balance is the key, according to experts. Hygiene hypothesis doesn’t mean that you should cancel your cleaning routine, but instead take a common sense approach: not everything in sight (or out of sight for that matter) needs to be washed or sanitised.

Are you too clean for your kids’ good?


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44 Margaret Street on Main Road South

(Sh57), Shannon

Open daily (except Tue & Wed) For guided tours anytime

between 10am & 3pmEvery day in school holidays

Phone: 06-362 7872E-mail: [email protected]

www.owlcatraz.co.nz

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Family Getaways

251 Karori Road, Karori, Phone 476 8090, Wellington.govt.nz

Karori Recreation Centre• Preschool programmes

• School-age programmes

• Holiday care programmes

• Adult classes

• Facility hire

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CSWCC

99045

children french classes from 2 years oldalliance francaise wellington

www.french.co.nz

Tuesday 7th July Wednesday 8th July

Thursday 9th July

Concerts twice daily at 9:30 and 11:15 am

LIFEPOINT Church 61 Hopper St

Mt Cook

Tickets $10 Family ticket $25 Under 1’s free!

Buy tickets online: www.windmillmusic.co.nz

Windmill Music Show Presents:

IN THE JUNGLE!

a FUNKY MONKEY concert for 1 to 7 year olds!

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have you tried?

Hello, meet Pineapple Heads – an all-natural hair and bath care range for kids aged 10 months-10 years, made in NZ with buckets of love and scrum-diddly-umptious smells.

Our products don’t have any dumb stuff like silicones, PEGs, petrochemicals, parabens... no baddies allowed! Our super

duper products are fully kid tested and approved.

Come say ‘Hi’ at pineappleheads.co.nz or PM us on Facebook and quote FamilyTimes for a FREE SAMPLE.

New Oki-Doki Fun Bars are new FUN treat for kids' lunch boxes. They are made in The Netherlands with NO artificial colours, NO artificial flavours, NO preservatives unlike many other products. Oki-Doki Fun Bars are totally natural!! Only the finest Belgium milk chocolate is used in the production of Oki-Doki bars. The best thing about them – they are so Yummy! Kids absolutely love them!! Available from all good supermarkets.Try one today!

For more information visit:www.facebook.com/OkiDokiFunwww.universaltrade.co.nz

ViBeri blackcurrants are the perfect mid-winter snack. Packed full of immune boosting health benefits, they offer a great tasting way to help fight off the chills this winter. ViBeri organic blackcurrants are grown on our certified organic farm in South Canterbury.

Our goal is to deliver uncompromised organic blackcurrant products suitable for the whole family!

Our blackcurrant range includes: Freeze or soft dried berries, along with snap frozen fresh from the farm. Or our indulgent dark chocolate covered blackcurrants.

Visit www.viberi.co.nz


Marmaduke Duck on the Wide Blue SeasBy Juliette MacIverIllustrated by Sarah DavisScholasticPaperback $19.50Marmaduke Duck has a longing for the high seas so leaves the shop he shares with Bernadette Bear, taking a store of his wonderful marmalade jam with him, which he trades for a ship with an incredible crew of animals. It’s all great fun until pirates get involved. The tale is told in rollicking rhyme, the pages richly coloured with action-packed scenes. Ages 4 to 8-years.

If You Were a DogBy Jamie A SwensonIllustrated by Chris RaschkaFarrar Straus GirouxHardback $25This story asks, “What sort of dog/cat/fish/bird/dinosaur would you be?” with deliciously tongue-twisting, hyphenated and often onomatopoeic options like “stomping-roarer earth-quaker, tree-shaker, sharp-pointed toothy-grinner” (dinosaur). The word play is reflected in the exciting colour-combinations of the watercolour illustrations and loosely-drawn range of expressive animals. A marvellous romp of word play and imagination. Ages 3 to 8-years.

The Adventures of Beekle the Unimaginary Friend By Dan Santat Little Brown Hardback $29.99There’s a magical island where imaginary friends wait for someone in the real world to imagine them. But Beekle is tired of waiting so goes in search of his real child. Beekle makes his way through the real world of grey people who don’t eat cake and want to nap all the time, until he discovers his person. Caldecott Medal winner. Ages 4 to 10-years.

When I am HappiestBy Rose LagercrantzIllustrated by Eva ErikssonGecko PressHardback $33.50Paperback $19.99This is the third book about Dani, who prides herself on being happy, so much so that she is writing a book about it. However, when her father is in an accident, she doesn’t know how she can possibly be happy again. Somehow she always finds her way back to happiness, particularly with a good friend to depend on. Ages 6 to 10-years.

Dragon Knight: Fire!By Kyle Mewburn ScholasticPaperback $12Merek and his family are shape-shifting dragons and they must keep it a secret, but Merek keeps setting fires with his sneezes. He gets into the trials to become a trainee knight but his swordsmanship isn’t up to scratch so he doesn’t get in, until he gets to show how brave he really is. Ages 6 to 10-years.

Travels of an Extraordinary HamsterBy Astrid DesbordesIllustrated by Pauline MartinTranslator Linda BurgessGecko PressPaperback $24.99Hamster is not the nicest of friends; he’s so self-centred, but you’ve got to admire his determination and his honesty. In this precisely crafted graphic novel about Hamster and his friends, Mole writes a novel, Hamster wants to fly to the moon, they all go on holiday to the North Pole to visit Bear’s cousin Polar Bear. Hilarious and easy reading. Ages 7 to 10-years.

Animalium: Welcome to the MuseumBy Jenny BroomIllustrated by Katie ScottThe Five Mile PressHardback $50This book thrills from the moment you see it, with its large size and meticulous illustrations. Organised like a museum, the collections of animal specimens are ordered like galleries, by classification, with detailed full-colour illustrations throughout. Content ranges from the simple sponge to the mighty whale, with everything in between. The accompanying text is easy-to-read and ideal for grazing rather than reading from beginning to end, making many new discoveries. Ages 10-plus.

Shackleton’s JourneyBy William GrillFlying Eye BooksHardback $41.50The blues, whites and earth colours of this stunner reflect the environment Ernest Shackleton and his men endured on their 1914 expedition to Antarctica. Here they are visually catalogued, along with the dogs and equipment, in detailed colour pencil illustrations, along with maps and dramatic spreads capturing the enthralling adventure, told in concise text, making this a rich reading experience. Ages 8-plus.

Maori Art for KidsBy Julie NoanoaPhotography by Norm HekeCraig Potton PublishingPaperback $19.99A beautifully designed array of crafty things for kids to make based on real pieces by Maori artists. They range from the very simple and quickly made items such as a decorated hair comb, to the more complex such as the maro wall hanging. Complete with simple instructions and photographs of the process, the finished item, and the original artwork. Ages 8+.

Run Pip, Run J C JonesAllen & UnwinPaperback $15.99On Pip’s 10th birthday her life suddenly changes when old Sully, the man who took her in as an abandoned baby, goes to hospital, leaving her with no-one to care for her. A police-woman is on her case and expects her to stay with a foster family but Pip has other ideas and takes to the streets of Sydney. She has a plan, lot of determination, and finds some unexpected allies. Ages 8 to 12-years.

Friday Barnes Under SuspicionR A Spratt Random HousePaperback $19.99Friday Barnes is feisty and smart. She’s 11, a boarder at Highcrest Academy, and the go-to girl if there’s a mystery to solve - from a missing calculator to the holes appearing in the school grounds. Then there’s the new boy who seems to like her. Everything combines to make one major puzzle, and a great cliff-hanger ending. Ages 8 to 10-years.

How I Alienated my GrandmaBy Suzanne MainScholasticPaperback $17Michael’s best friend Elvis lends him a metal detector that hones in on a mysterious object. When Michael points it at his grandmother she freakily transforms into a lizard-like creature, later regaining her original appearance but definitely not her old self. Aliens have plans, via Grandma, to take over Earth. The boys must find the hidden spaceship if they’re going to save the world. Ages 8-plus.

Crissi Blair lives with her family in west Auckland and spends her time reading and writing, mostly about children’s books. Crissi organised the Storylines Festival of New Zealand Children’s Writers and Illustrators for three years and publishes the useful guide New Zealand Children’s Books in Print which is updated every year. Visit www.silvertone.co.nz for more information.

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