whats up extra november 2012 issue

1 FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE 773.213.4597traWX WHATS UP XTRA

SOUTH WESTWhats UpxtraNOVEMBER 2012

traWX

BARTENDER OF THE MONTHIZABELLAWEST 55TH STREET CHICAGO

JOKES

PHOTOS

ASK THE WINO

TBOX TICKETGIVEAWAY

PAGE 4

What in the World is TBOX

Anyway?page 28

Where are you going tonight?

ONLINE MAGAZINE @ WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM

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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE NOVEMBER BARTENDER

Go to facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine Like the page and Like or comment on the bartenders

photo or text 773.288.9400 or vote @ www.whatsupxta.com

The winner will receive a 6 hour limo bus from LIMOSALIVE.NET for 24 of their friends.

facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine Like the facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine Like the page and Like or comment on the bartenders page and Like or comment on the bartenders

The winner will receive a 6 hour limo bus from The winner will receive a 6 hour limo bus from

whos yo

ur

favorite

bartende

r?

OCTOBER BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...

Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine like our page and vote under the bartenders photo or go to www.whatsupxtra.comOnly one vote is counted per person and voting polls close on November 20th. *The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service

CONGRATULATIONS

IZABELLAWEST 55TH STREET PUB 4201 W. 55TH STBOTTOMS UP

Bartender: KristenVooDoo Lounge 6501 W 79th St, Burbank Signature Drink: Pink ElephantIngredients: Bacardi 151, Malibu Rum, Pineapple Juice, Grena-dineWords of Wisdom: "Git It Gurrr!!!"

Bartender: AmyBuzz Bomb 6301 w 73rd St Bedford ParkSignature Drink: ShmamyIngredients: Southern Comfort, Peach Schnapps, OJ, Red Bull, GrenadineWords of Wisdom: "Never re-think it, life goes on!"

Bartender: DeanneX's & O's Sports Lounge6405 127th St, Palos HeightsSignature Drink: Pretty In PinkIngredients: Absolut Peach, Grand Marnier, Cranberry and Orange Juice.Words of Wisdom: Ill pour a double to make you see triple.

Bartender: TianaJoe's Saloon 9220 47th St, Brook eld

Signature Drink: Side CarIngredients: Brandy, Triple Sec & SourWords of Wisdom: How can I be so thirsty in the morning, when I drank so much last night?


3 bartender of the month

7 news of interest

6 out & about photos

8 are you smarter than chester


11 Sudoku and crossword puzzle

12 ASK THE WINO

15 riddle of the month

15 holiday drink recipes


17 lala's love letters

18 fight card xtra

20 - 22 bar directory

22 word find

23 OCTOBER EVENTS

The name Whats Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted Whats Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012

We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of Whats Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.

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CHECK OUTWhats UP Xtra Magazine

CHICAGO / SOUTHWEST EDITIONS

GO TO FACEBOOKTO SEE & TAG YOUR PHOTOS

keith romackpublisher

Lisa romackSales Director

Robert ChristiansenColumn Writer

jon oberteditor

ted phillipsphotographer

lauren streccontributingwriter

We are always on the lookout for dynamic writers, photographers and sales staff to contribute to our publi-cation If you are interested in joining our team or interested in advertising opportunities contact us at

773-288-9400 oremail: [email protected]

OUR STAFFTABLE OFCONTENTS

Check us out online - Read the magazine, Photos & More...

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Front page photo taken at XS & Os Palos Heights

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Are you currently looking for a part-time opportunity? Whats Up Xtra Magazine is looking for Sales Associates, Photographers, and Writers to join our dynamic team. Quali ed candidates must be outgoing, professional and enjoy meeting new people. If you are interested in hearing more about these opportunities, please contact us at 773-288-9400 or email us at whatsupxtra.com. Serious inquiries only please.

TBOX 2012 TICKET EXTRAVAGANZAWhats Up Xtra Magazine has teamed up with TBOX and is giving away 5 pairs of tickets to this years event. Do you have what it takes to survive the biggest and best 19 hour bar crawl in the world? Go to our facebook page and click on the cover photo and Like for your chance to win!Winners will be contacted via email and must re-spond with 3 days to receive your free ticket code. Must Like our page to be entered in the drawings. Drawings will be held November 6, 12, 18, 24, 30.

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25th Class ReunionA husband and wife went to their High Schools 25th Reunion on the weekend.

There was a guy on the dance oor living it large. He was breakdancing, moonwalking, step dancing, and just having a good old time.

The wife turned to husband and said: "See that guy danc-ing? Twenty- ve years ago he pro-posed to me and I turned him down."

Her husband re-sponds, "It looks like he's still cel-ebrating!

View change as the one constant in your life. Expect it; welcome it.

- Denis Waitley, business author

keith romackpublisher

Lisa romackSales Director

Robert ChristiansenColumn Writer

jon oberteditor

ted phillipsphotographer

lauren streccontributingwriter

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News

How Police Of cers (and You) Can Spot a Texting Driver

Texting while driving is illegal in 39 states and the District of Co-lumbia. In most of those states, it's a primary enforcement vio-lation, meaning the of cer can stop a motorist solely for texting while driving, says the Governors Highway Safety Association.

The laws are having an unintended consequence. Instead of holding the phone up by their face, violators are putting it down in their laps. They think of cers, cops and troopers won't be able to see it, says the National Troopers Coalitions, which has 45,000 members.

The troopers say these texters are more dangerous because their eyes are off the road for a longer time, but they are just as easy to spot. Generally, they act like drunk drivers, going too fast or too slow for the traf c, weaving or not paying attention when the light turns red or green. Sometimes their heads are down and only one hand is on the wheel.

Of cers advise motorists to give plenty of space to a texter, be-cause he's an accident waiting to happen. Texters are 23 times more likely to be involved in an accident than non-texting driv-ers. If you spot a very dangerous driver, call 911. Police say you should never confront the individual. That's where road rage could begin.

A 2009 study showed that sending a text or email takes a driver's eyes off the road for an average of 4.6 seconds. That's about how long it takes a vehicle going 55 mph to cover the length of a football eld.

NBA May Sell Ad Space on Players' JerseysNational Basketball Association's Adam Silver has announced plans to allow a 2.5-inch by 2.5-inch ad just below the left shoulder on team jerseys. With formal approval expected, the move will cre-ate a windfall for the NBA, generating as much a $100 million in revenue per team each year. If the deal is formalized, other American big-four sports will likely follow. European soccer clubs have had sizable corporate logos on their uniforms for de-cades, bringing huge incomes.

Happy Thanksgiving

New Nike Shoe Features High Price, Low HypeUnemployment might be high and some families are struggling, but crowds are still shopping for the new Nike LeBron X shoe.

The shoe is equipped with electronics embedded with motion sensors that measure how high a player jumps and comes with a sport kit featuring an adapter and charger.

The price was changed from $315 to $270 in September, prior to the shoe's release. Nike reduced the price on the shoes after controversy including Internet outrage at the cost.

Nike's shoes have always been widely anticipated but the hype that preceded release of new shoes also brought unruly crowds and even violence.

Nike has scaled back its introduction of shoes after incidents such as one in December 2011, in which police had to use pep-per spray to break up a crowd of 1,000 shoppers who began ghting before the 4 a.m. release of the $180 retro Air Jordan XI Concord sneakers.

In February 2012, more than 100 Orlando police in riot gear were needed to break up ghts among a crowd that formed before a midnight launch of the $220 Nike Air Foamposite basketball shoes. Footlocker cancelled the release.

Nike no longer introduces its new shoes with midnight extrava-ganza's that tended to draw excited people and put store em-ployees in danger.


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Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds.

- Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of the United States

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Are You Smarter Than CHESTER The Sock Monkey?

Answers

1. The rst department store to hold a Thanksgiving parade wasMontgomery Wards, J.C. Penneys, Gimbels, or Ma-cys?

2. Butterball says that once a turkey is done, you should let it stand for 15 minutes before servingSo you dont burn your tongue when you eat it, its easier to eat it, to let the aroma spread through the house, or to let the stuf ng cool a bit before you take it out?

3. Which President was the rst to establish Thanksgiving as a legal national holiday to be held the 4th Thursday in No-vemberAbraham Lincoln, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson, or James Madison?

4. The term Cornucopia meansTall Corn, Greek God of Corn, Horn of Plenty, A Traditional New England Relish?

5. The Pilgrims took beer with them on their voyageTrue or False?

6. Before being harvested and sold, an individual cranberry must bounce how many inches high to make sure they are not too ripe1 inch, 2 inches, 3 inches, or 4 inches?

7. Which was the rst balloon in the 1927 Macys Thanksgiv-ing Day ParadeMickey Mouse, Felix the Cat, Betty Boop, or Superman?

8. Turkeys can drown if they look up in the rainTrue or False?

9. The May ower was not built to be a transportation ship for people. What was the original purpose it was built forAs a merchant ship to carry wine, as a shing ship, or as a ship to get spices from the Far East?

10. Back in the early Thanksgiving celebrations, they also liked sporting events and took bets. Of course there was no football back then so which sport were they betting onShooting, Archery, Knife Throwing, or Cornhole?

1. Gimbels in Philadelphia in

1920.

2. To let the stuf ng cool to 165

for better serving temperature.

3. Abraham Lincoln proclaimed

it, but it was Franklin D.

Roosevelt that signed a bill into

Congress making it an of cial

Federal Holiday.

4. Horn of Plenty

5. True. In fact, John Alden was a

cooper that made the barrels.

6. 4 inches.

7. Felix the Cat.

8. True.

9. as a merchant ship to carry

wine.

10. They had shooting contests.


Out & About

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e 7)

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e 31)

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)

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view (page 29)

Xs & Os Palos

Heights (back pa

ge)

Zantes

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Durbins

115 Bourbon Str

eet

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191 South

39th Street Pub



SUDOKURules:Every column, row and 3x3 box must have numbers 1 to 9

Buzz Bomb (pag

e 7)

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SUNDAY: $4 Bloody Marys

MONDAY: $1.50 Domestic Pints & $6.00 Domestic Pitchers

TUESDAY: $2 Domestic Bottles

WEDNESDAY: $2.75 Imports Bottles & Import Pints

THURSDAYS: $2.50 UV Bombs & $3 Jager Bombs

FRIDAYS: $11 Domestic Buckets

SATURDAYS: $2.50 Well Drinks

FREE FOOD DURING BEARS GAMES

6950 W. 95TH ST (FRONTAGE RD) OAK LAWN 708-430-1298

STEVIE STARLITEJAM NIGHT

2ND AND 4TH WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH

MONDAY $1.75 Domestic Pints

TUESDAY $2 U Call Its

WEDNESDAY $2.25 Domestic Bottles

THURSDAY $12 Domestic Buckets

FRIDAY $1.75 MGD & PBR Pints

SATURDAY $3 Premium Pints & Bottles

SUNDAY $4 Bloody Marys &

$12 Domestic Buckets

Video GamingNow Available

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Kitchen Hours 11am to 8pm Monday to Saturday with daily food specials9247 S Cicero Ave Oak Lawn (708) 636-1555

VINTAGE BEER SPECIAL - $2 EVERYDAYOLD STYLE, STROHS, PBR,

HIGH LIFE, SPECIAL EXPORT

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TwinsThere were these two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for John and stated, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible."

Joe, thinking she was talking about the boat, said, "Hell no, fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her, she was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead sh. She was always losing water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got big-ger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what nally nished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The damn fools all tried to get in her at once and she split right up the damn middle!!!"

The old woman fainted.

This couple comes to a new town and the guy gets a job at the local pickle factory. A few years go by and each year he wins the employee of the year award. One day in the third year, he comes home looking all de-pressed.

His wife asks him what the matter is, to which he responds that he got red.

"FIRED?! How can you get red, you're always employee of the year!" she asked, stunned.

To this he responds that he had another fantasy that he needed to ful ll and it got him red.

"Oh no, not again, what did you do this time?" she asks.

Well, I always fantasized about sticking my willy in the pickle slicer.

"You didn't!" she hoped.

He blushed and replied, "Well, yes I did."

Then she asks, "Did it hurt?"

"No not really," answers the man.

Puzzled, she then asks, "Well what happened to the pickle slic-er?"

He answers, "Oh, she got red too!"

The Pickle Worker

Ask The Wino... Wino: Cherry PalatinoSmells like: A Summers Eve DoucheLikes: Bikini Waxes and Genital PiercingsDislikes: Dogs that hump your leg

Alisha the Receptionist asks: I've had a weight problem my whole life and right now I'm the heavi-est I've ever been. I've tried dieting and exercising but the pounds won't budge. Please help me, I'm desperate.Wino: Normally I don't waste my time with fat ass whiners, but since you sound desperate I suppose I'll throw you a bone. Screw "eating right" or exer-cising, here's whatcha do. Smoke. I smoke more than a fourteen year old runway model and it just looks cool. Drink. I drink so much that my liver is probably the size of Dolly Parton's titties. Every-one says that alcohol is fattening, but they're all liars. Booze doesn't have any fat if you down 6 gin and tonics in less than an hour last thing you want to do is eat. In fact, you'll probably blow chunks. And of course there's always cocaine, my favor-ite low-calorie sweetener. Other than a nosebleed here and there, it's never done me no harm. Good luck!

Freddie the Department Head asks: I've got a real dilemma that I hope you can help me with. I'm one of three department heads in a large of ce. I work closely with another department head, "Sue". She wants to be a lot more than co-workers, and aside from the possibility of being red, I'm not at-tracted to this woman at all. Any advice?Wino: Oh you gorgeous hunk of man esh, please pay attention. Everyone knows that the workplace is like a steamy bath house full of sexual intrigue and innuendo. So my advice: Drop a little note to "Sue" instructing her to meet you at your cubicle after-hours. When she does, bend her over that Xerox machine, hike up her skirt, rip those con-trol top pantyhose off her and plow that dimpled ass! I know you said you weren't attracted to her, but that's the beauty of this particular position, you don't have to look at her face.

Dottie the Grandmother asks: I'm 65 and the proud grandmother of three wonderful grandchil-dren. My son and daughter-in-law both work full time and I take care of my grandchildren while they work. Now, I love my grandkids and they're good kids, but they're running me ragged. What can I do to cope?

Wino: If there's one thing that brings joy to my heart, it's the sound of happy children playing. Except when they're playing in front of my home when I'm trying to sleep it off. Your son and daugh-ter in law are inconsiderate clods, but they're certainly not stupid like you. This really is simple. Feed the little darlings some pudding or yogurt at snack-time, add some crushed up Benedryl and In less than twenty minutes they'll be fast asleep facedown in the tapioca.


SUNDAY: $4 Bloody Marys

MONDAY: $1.50 Domestic Pints & $6.00 Domestic Pitchers

TUESDAY: $2 Domestic Bottles

WEDNESDAY: $2.75 Imports Bottles & Import Pints

THURSDAYS: $2.50 UV Bombs & $3 Jager Bombs

FRIDAYS: $11 Domestic Buckets

SATURDAYS: $2.50 Well Drinks

FREE FOOD DURING BEARS GAMES

6950 W. 95TH ST (FRONTAGE RD) OAK LAWN 708-430-1298

STEVIE STARLITEJAM NIGHT

2ND AND 4TH WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH

MONDAY $1.75 Domestic Pints

TUESDAY $2 U Call Its

WEDNESDAY $2.25 Domestic Bottles

THURSDAY $12 Domestic Buckets

FRIDAY $1.75 MGD & PBR Pints

SATURDAY $3 Premium Pints & Bottles

SUNDAY $4 Bloody Marys &

$12 Domestic Buckets

SUNDAY: $4 Bloody Marys SUNDAY: $4 Bloody Marys

MONDAY: $1.50 Domestic PiMONDAY: $1.50 Domestic Pints nts & $6.00 Domestic Pitchers & $6.00 Domestic Pitchers

Video GamingNow Available

FREE FOO

D

DURING

SUNDAY

BEARS

GAMES

Kitchen Hours 11am to 8pm Monday to Saturday with daily food specials9247 S Cicero Ave Oak Lawn (708) 636-1555

VINTAGE BEER SPECIAL - $2 EVERYDAYOLD STYLE, STROHS, PBR,

HIGH LIFE, SPECIAL EXPORT

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Ask The Wino... Wino: Cherry PalatinoSmells like: A Summers Eve DoucheLikes: Bikini Waxes and Genital PiercingsDislikes: Dogs that hump your leg

Alisha the Receptionist asks: I've had a weight problem my whole life and right now I'm the heavi-est I've ever been. I've tried dieting and exercising but the pounds won't budge. Please help me, I'm desperate.Wino: Normally I don't waste my time with fat ass whiners, but since you sound desperate I suppose I'll throw you a bone. Screw "eating right" or exer-cising, here's whatcha do. Smoke. I smoke more than a fourteen year old runway model and it just looks cool. Drink. I drink so much that my liver is probably the size of Dolly Parton's titties. Every-one says that alcohol is fattening, but they're all liars. Booze doesn't have any fat if you down 6 gin and tonics in less than an hour last thing you want to do is eat. In fact, you'll probably blow chunks. And of course there's always cocaine, my favor-ite low-calorie sweetener. Other than a nosebleed here and there, it's never done me no harm. Good luck!

Freddie the Department Head asks: I've got a real dilemma that I hope you can help me with. I'm one of three department heads in a large of ce. I work closely with another department head, "Sue". She wants to be a lot more than co-workers, and aside from the possibility of being red, I'm not at-tracted to this woman at all. Any advice?Wino: Oh you gorgeous hunk of man esh, please pay attention. Everyone knows that the workplace is like a steamy bath house full of sexual intrigue and innuendo. So my advice: Drop a little note to "Sue" instructing her to meet you at your cubicle after-hours. When she does, bend her over that Xerox machine, hike up her skirt, rip those con-trol top pantyhose off her and plow that dimpled ass! I know you said you weren't attracted to her, but that's the beauty of this particular position, you don't have to look at her face.

Dottie the Grandmother asks: I'm 65 and the proud grandmother of three wonderful grandchil-dren. My son and daughter-in-law both work full time and I take care of my grandchildren while they work. Now, I love my grandkids and they're good kids, but they're running me ragged. What can I do to cope?

Wino: If there's one thing that brings joy to my heart, it's the sound of happy children playing. Except when they're playing in front of my home when I'm trying to sleep it off. Your son and daugh-ter in law are inconsiderate clods, but they're certainly not stupid like you. This really is simple. Feed the little darlings some pudding or yogurt at snack-time, add some crushed up Benedryl and In less than twenty minutes they'll be fast asleep facedown in the tapioca.


OPENING NOVEMBER 1ST

3144 S. Oak Park AveBerwyn

facebook: OFF THE TRAXX

email:[email protected]

phone:708-637-4430



NO

V DRINK - MARTINI - SHOT by Lisa Romack

.5 oz Kahlua

.5 oz Baileys Irish Cream

.5 oz Goldschlager

Directions: Add Kahlua, Bailey's, and Goldschlager to an ice lled shaker and shake. Pour into shot glasses. Top with a bit of 151and light on re for a dramatic effect!

16 oz Angry Orchard Hard Cider1 oz Stoli Salted Caramel VodkaCaramelGraham Cracker Crumbs

Directions: Rim a chilled pint glass with caramel and Graham Cracker Crumbs and ll with the cider. Swirl the top with the Stoli Salted Cara-mel Vodka. Tastes just like a caramel apple pie...but with a kick!

1.25 oz Smirnoff Cranberry Vodka.25 oz Raspberry Liqueur.5 oz Cranberry Juice

Directions: Fill shaker with ice and add Smirnoff Cranberry Vodka, Raspberry Liqueur, and Cranberry Juice. Shake vig-orously and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with 3 cranberries on a stick and serve with a turkey dinner...or just because!

Angry Caramel Apple Pie Gobble-Tini Smashing Pumpkin Shot

Little Ralphy on MathA teacher asks her class, If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?

She calls on little Ral-phy.

He replies, None, they will all y away with the rst gunshot.

The teacher replies, The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.

Then little RALPHY says, I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.

To which Little RALPHY replied, The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.

OPENING NOVEMBER 1ST

3144 S. Oak Park AveBerwyn

facebook: OFF THE TRAXX

email:[email protected]

phone:708-637-4430 Text your answers to: 773-288-9400 or e-mail: [email protected] your name, e-mail, and telelphone number.

All correct answers go into drawing.

RiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Month

Answer to Last Months Riddle

WIN A $25 GIFT CERTIFICATE

Answer: M Winner: Michael Maloney

What is once in a minute, twice in a moment, and never in a thousand years?

We are very little creatures; all of us have different features. One of us in glass is set; one of us youll nd in jet. Another you may see in tin, and a fourth is boxed within. If the fth you should pursue, it can never y from you.



Out & About


Buzz Bomb (pag

e 7)

Little Franks (pag

e 31)

Marlins (page 17

)

Xs & Os Bridge

view (page 29)

Xs & Os Palos

Heights (back pa

ge)

ZantesFat Sam

s

115 Bourbon Str

eet

Bobby McGees

191 South

39th Street Pub

39th Street Pub

7236 39TH St. Lyons 708.442.2645MARLINS

Bears GamesBuckets 5/$12 Miller products

Free Buffet at half time

DJ TAZZ &

DJ RUDE BO

Y

$3 BOMB

S (U CAL

L IT)

$3 IMPOR

T DRAFTS

$1 SPEC

IALTY SH

OTSBLA

CK WE

DNESD

AY

NO COVER



La Las Love Letters

By Lauren Strec

Dear La La, I read your column every month and I get the feeling you are a very passionate woman. I have to ask, if you had to be an animal for one week, which animal would you choose to be? And what would you do? ZookeeperDear Zookeeper, I would be a male lion: Id sleep all day, wake up and bang all the lionesses, then have them bring me dinner.

Dear La La, My girlfriend and I were fooling around last week and right in the middle of it she let out a huge fart. I tried to just ignore it, but I think she was really embarrassed and has been avoiding me ever since. Im not quite sure if I should talk about it. What is the most embarrassing moment you have ever had in your life? Beans BareallDear Beans Bareall, Wow, that would be really embarrassing, and I dont blame her for shying away. I think if you just let it blow over, it will still leave a white elephant in the room. I would talk it out, to help her get over it. I suggest GENTLY poking fun at her about it, to break the ice, and then ease into the fact that we all pass gas. I will be impressed if you cap off the conversation by tearing ass in front of her, to even up the score. Overall, she has to face the music, and humor, in my opinion, is the best way to get over it.

Dear La La, My boyfriend is not a very good dresser and sometimes I hate going out with him in public. I try to buy him stylish out ts, but he complains that I am trying to feminize him. I appreciate his manliness, but how can I get him to take more interest in his appearance? Looking GoodDear Looking Good, Is it just a lack of taste, or are we talking about a hygiene issue here? If his clothes are pit-stained and hes been wearing the same drawers for a couple days, I can understand your contempt.

But if he just doesnt care about fashion, then you shouldnt be trying to change him. If youre focusing on something super cial, I think you need to really think about your love for this person.If its a matter of swaying him to wear something more appropriate for the occasion or venue, then I would suggest bringing up the ensemble in conversation, with a corresponding compliment, before you go out: Hey remember that black shirt I bought you? I was thinking about how sexy you look in it you should wear it tonight. If he goes along with it, be sure to reiterate it throughout the night (Damn, you look soooo good.), but be sure to NOT gloat or nag (See? I told you, You look better like this). Think about positive reinforcement and motivation. Give him a treat at the end of the night: he did something for you, now return the favor. I bet after that, he will be more inclined to wear the [shirt] that you like.

Dear La La, I try to talk turn to my boyfriend when I need advice or emo-tional support and he just doesnt seem to show much interest. He tells me to go and talk to my girlfriends about my problems! I dont feel he is being very supportive of my needs. Any suggestions? ConfusedDear Confused, If you are complaining about a catty co-worker, or how the girl at the coffee shop never gets your order right, then save it for the ladies. Guys dont think the same way as women, so most women stories are unrelatable and make them want to stab their own eyes. But if have a serious issue that requires support, and this guy is not there for you, then ditch him. I get that some guys may be a little more testoster-one- lled, and may not be the emotional type. However, any macho guy will still have the back of the woman he cares about, even if it is behind closed doors. Clearly and seriously express that you need him to be there. If he blows you off, after you have communicated the gravity of the topic at hand, then blow him off.

Lauren Strec is a media host and blogger, and you can follow her at Facebook.com/LaurenStrec.

Little Franks (pag

e 31)

191 South

7236 39TH St. Lyons 708.442.2645MARLINSMARLINSMARLINSMARLINS

Bears GamesBuckets 5/$12 Miller products

Free Buffet at half time

DJ TAZZ &

DJ RUDE BO

Y

$3 BOMB

S (U CAL

L IT)

$3 IMPOR

T DRAFTS

$1 SPEC

IALTY SH

OTSDJ TAZZ

& DJ RUD

E BOY

DJ TAZZ &

DJ RUDE BO

Y

$3 BO

$3 BOMB

S (U CAL

L IT)

MBS (U C

ALL IT)

$3 IMPOR

T DRAFTS

$3 IMPOR

T DRAFTS

$1 SPEC

IALTY SH

OTS

$1 SPEC

IALTY SH

OTSBLA

CK WE

DNESD

AY

NO COVER


www.FightCard.net

Email [email protected] GIRL INQUIRY?

Azamat Shogenov

DEC 6

@ JOE

S BAR

on WE

ED STR

EET

Want to Compete?Contact Nilo @ 312.369.4180

Chepe Mariscal

TWO NEW FIGHTCARD CHAMPSOn September 29th, Fight Card Entertainment put together an all-out action packed night of ghts with FIGHTCARD46: NO MERCY. The ghts emphasized all aspects of Mixed Martial Arts; from precision stand up battles to executed ground games with each ght playing out as a strategic chess match for the MMA fanatic. In a back and forth ght be-tween VICTORY's Shane Schubbe and Team 110's Rafael Reyes, the match proved to be the claiming Fight of the Night. Also, the crowning two Champions, Chepe Mariscal for 155lb and defending champion Yousef Al-Ghoul for 170lb made NO MERCY everything the fans had expected. Check out videos from the night at www.youtube.com/ ghtcardnet.

JOE'S BAR TO CLOSE OFF 2012The boys at FIGHTCARD prove to be the "Main Event" as the year 2012 comes to a close with the last MMA event of the year hosted by Joe's Bar on Weed Street on Thursday, December 6th. Ready to headline the 47th event is the 135lb FIGHT-CARD Champion Azamat Shogenov. Shogenov, one of the fastest and most technical ghters out of Russia, plans on successfully defending his throne right in the heart of downtown Chicago. Dont miss this spectacular year end event and get your MMA x with over 10 match ups on the card. Tickets will be available online at www.FightCard.net.


www.FightCard.net

Email [email protected] GIRL INQUIRY?

Azamat Shogenov

DEC 6

@ JOE

S BAR

on WE

ED STR

EET

Want to Compete?Contact Nilo @ 312.369.4180

Chepe Mariscal

TWO NEW FIGHTCARD CHAMPSOn September 29th, Fight Card Entertainment put together an all-out action packed night of ghts with FIGHTCARD46: NO MERCY. The ghts emphasized all aspects of Mixed Martial Arts; from precision stand up battles to executed ground games with each ght playing out as a strategic chess match for the MMA fanatic. In a back and forth ght be-tween VICTORY's Shane Schubbe and Team 110's Rafael Reyes, the match proved to be the claiming Fight of the Night. Also, the crowning two Champions, Chepe Mariscal for 155lb and defending champion Yousef Al-Ghoul for 170lb made NO MERCY everything the fans had expected. Check out videos from the night at www.youtube.com/ ghtcardnet.

JOE'S BAR TO CLOSE OFF 2012The boys at FIGHTCARD prove to be the "Main Event" as the year 2012 comes to a close with the last MMA event of the year hosted by Joe's Bar on Weed Street on Thursday, December 6th. Ready to headline the 47th event is the 135lb FIGHT-CARD Champion Azamat Shogenov. Shogenov, one of the fastest and most technical ghters out of Russia, plans on successfully defending his throne right in the heart of downtown Chicago. Dont miss this spectacular year end event and get your MMA x with over 10 match ups on the card. Tickets will be available online at www.FightCard.net.

Three WeddingsThree sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their par-ents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.

Later that night, their mother couldn't sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea.

On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter's bedroom and heard her screaming.

The mother thought to herself, "That's normal, especially on her wedding night."

She snuck by her second oldest daughter's room and heard her laugh-ing.

"That's normal too," she said, smiling to herself.

Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter's room where she didn't hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it.

The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night's noises. "Well Mom," she replied, "you always said if it hurt I should scream."

"You're absolutely right sweetheart," the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter. "Now why were you laughing?" she asked.

"You always said if it tickled, I could laugh," she answered.

"True enough honey." The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days. "Now it's your turn, baby," she said turning to her youngest daugh-ter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"

"Mom, don't you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full."

What in the World is TBOX Anyway?page 28


BAR DIRECTORYChicago Heights 55th Street Pub 4201 W. 55th St. 773-582-8839

Chicago Ridge Bearhawks 10236 Ridgeland 708-424-0830Bobby McGees 10139 S. Harlem 708-529-3526OConnor Pub 5900 W. 111th 708-422-6400Jack Desmond 10339 Ridgeland 708-857-7910Jessie's Tavern 10501 Ridgeland 708-499-0048Nickobees 10301 Southwest 708-499-2643Lucky's Lounge 6605 95th St 708-237-3776

Countryside Harrys bar 9901 W. 55th 708-354-3333Kennys Tavern 917 W. 55th 708-354-0991Raffertys 10901 Joliet Rd 708-246-3188

Crest Hill Bada Brew 802 Theodore 815-726-3401Bobby McGees 1200 Cedarwood 815-741-4318Chaoz Sports 20631 W. Renwick 815-838-5234Gustos 2115 Plain eld 815-744-4159Martys Place 2357 Plain eld 815-725-2252

Crestwood Brazen Head 13602 S. Cicero 708-388-8862Docs Lounge 13430 S. Cicero 708-371-7665Mitch's Pub 13815 Cicero Ave 708-597-2415Pockets Billiards 13430 S Cicero 708-371-7665

Crete Chuck's Place 1358 Main St 708-672-9449Ignorant Bliss 1338 Main St 708-279-7163NorthWoods 940 Steger Rd 708-672-1167

Darien Qs Billiards 8109 S. Cass Ave 630-739-2999

Flossmore Flossmore Station 1035 Sterling Ave 708-957-2739North Woods 800 Kedzie Ave 708-957-5600

Frankfort Jameson Pub 9545 W. Saint Francis 815-469-0500Local Bar 7900 W. Lincoln Hwy 815-469-9450Old Plank Tavern 113 Kansas 815-464-1004

Hazel CrestSidebar 167 2905 W. 167th St 708-596-5055

Hickory Hills Cravens Pub 8833 W. 87th St 708-237-1705Kowal's Bar 9401 S. Roberts Rd 708-598-0835Prime Time 7750 W. 95th St 708-599-2333

Homer Glen Cool River 12622 W. 159th 708-301-8006Davidson Bar 14136 S. Bell Rd 708-645-0000Mullets 14903 S. Bell Rd 708-645-7000Pelican Harrys 14807 Founders Xing 708-301-5555

Alsip Bar 122 12219 S. Pulaski 708-597-1122Dakota Inn 12119 S. Crawford 708-388-6622Southsides 11860 S Cicero 708-371-1133

Bedford Park Buzz Bomb 6301 W. 73rd 708-728-6500

Berwyn Cigars and Stripes 6715 W. Ogden Ave 708-484-1043Fitzgeralds 6615 Roosevelt Rd 708-788-2118James Joyce Pub 7138 Windsor 708-795-1100Juniors 7011 Ogden Ave 708-484-9464Kickoffs 6305 26th St 708-484-2466Off The Traxx 3144 S. Oak Park Ave 708-637-4430Perception Lounge 6814 W. Windsor 708-749-2484Tiger OStylies 6300 W. Ogden 708-795-1298

Bridgeview All Star Sports Bar 8000 S. Roberts Rd 708-594-5600Illusions 7600 S. Harlem 708-496-0300Tigers Lounge 8500 S. Harlem 708-598-7000Xs & Os Lounge 7801 W. 79th Pl 708-728-9696

Bolingbrook Clementes Pub 361 N. Schmidt 630-459-6084Gonzos 730 N. Bolingbrook 630-739-4646Panama Connect 132 N. Bolingbrook 630-739-1364Quarterdeck 220 Beacon Ridge 630-739-9810Tailgators 431 W. Boughton Rd 630-679-1992T&T Lounge 594 N. Pinecrest 630-739-0575

Brook eld Irish Times 8869 Burlington` 708-485-8787Joes Saloon 9220 W. 47th 708-485-9640Johnny Bs Bar 8436 Brook eld 708-485-4504Local Bar 3733 Grand Blvd 708-255-5551Slagers Bar 9308 47th 708-387-0317

Burbank Castle Inn 5700 W. 79th 708-529-3547Chucks Voodoo 6501 W. 79th 708-229-8700Dalton's Pub 5616 N. 87th 708-423-1570Durbins 5406 W. 79th St 708-423-1523Frank's Place 6353 W. 79th St 708-233-9148Maggie McGuires 8642 S. Cicero 708-424-3720Tic N Tin Tap 7107 W. 79th 708-599-6399

Burnham Brown Jug 14540 S Torrence Ave 708-862-3139Tally Ho 3000 E. 138th St 708-933.6360

Calumet CityBagleys 666 Hirsch Avenue 708-891-9290Bosss Lounge 148 155th Street 708-891-9073John Ls Place 335 154th Place 708-862-2386Lauers Pub 31 154th Place 708-891-9748Harry Os 816 Burnham Avenue 708-832-3847The Hideaway 1245 Burnham Ave 708-862-2966


BAR DIRECTORY

Bar Directory Continued on page 22

North Riverside Bar Tini Lounge 2433 DesPlaines 708-853-9143Sweet Spot 2531 DesPlaines 708-443-5770

Oak Forest Blarney Stone 15400 Cicero 708-535-4800Marcottes 15501 S.Cicero 708-535-8960Tap's Pub 15427 Cicero 708-535-6374

Oak Lawn Cullens Pub 9953 Southwest Hwy 708-424-7286Demma's Bar 5805 W. 87th Pl 708-636-1240George's Lounge 5407 W. 95th 708-636-0223Goal Post 5207 W. 95th St. 708-422-5275Hot Corner 4913 W. 95th St 708-422-1884Inn Zone Bar 9904 Southwest Hwy Murphy's Law 9247 S. Cicero 708-636-1555Quigleys 4010 W. 111th 708-952-4774R Place Lounge 9848 Southwest Hwy St James 5305 W. 95th St. 708-425-1330Tailgators 9256 S. Cicero 708-423-1350Tavern on the West End 6950 W 95th St 708-430-1298

Orland Park Coaches Corner 8116 W. 143rd St 708-364-1026Dannys Corner 9400 W, 143rd St 708.226.9223Fat Sams 15896 S. LaGrange Rd 708-403-0733 Jordans Pub 13500 S. Harlem 708-460-8330Zantes Lounge 8888 W. 159th St 708-364-0100

Palos Heights Joe Daniels 12218 S. Harlem 708-923-9902Sam Bucas 12231 S. Harlem 708-361-1226 Mister Mos 7214 College Dr 708-671-0288Xs & Os Lounge 6405 W. 127th 708-824-9600

Palos Hills Durbins 10154 S. Roberts Rd 708-598-8881Red Velvet 11011 Southwest 708-974-9085Valley Inn 8300 W. 107th St. 708-974-0509Village Pub 9750 S. Roberts Rd 708-576-8142Zante Lounge 10307 S Roberts Rd 708-233-6400

Plain eld Backdoor Pub 15014 S. DesPlaines 815-609-0000Gunthers Bar 24001 W. Lockport 815-609-8445Grubens Tap 24035 W. Lockport 815-436-9395McBrides Pub 7162 Caton 815-609-0192OSullivans Pub 706 W Lockport 815-436-4529Tap House 24002 W. Lockport 815-733-5148The Penalty Box 16108 S. Rte 59 815-782-7410

Posen D & D's Tavern 14401 S. Sherman 708-385-0171Granny's Place 2838 W. 147th St 708-385-2509Guzzlers 14344 S. Mckinley 708-371-7484J&Js Pub 14347 McKinley 708-388-2006Posen Pub 14346 S. Western 708-388-7335

Homewood Fifth Quarter Tap 18105 Dixie Hwy 708-798-2710Lassens Bar 2131 183rd 708-957-2220Ridgewood Tap 2059 Ridge Rd 708-798-1414

Justice Daverns Tavern 8527 W. 79th 708-924-6003New Bridges Bar 8531 W. 79th 708-728-9990

Lansing J.J. Kelleys 2455 Bernice Rd 708-474-9977Kilroys 3502 Ridge Rd 708-895-5233

Lemont Canal St Pub 309 Canal St 630-257-7438Illinois Bar 1131 State St 630-257-0666Nicks Tavern 221 Main St 630-257-6564The Vault 308 Canal St 630-312-8380Toms Place 110 Stephen St 630-257-9875Stonehouse Pub 103 Stephen St 630-257-1300

Lockport Carters Place 122 W. 9th 815-838-7881Fat Sams 122 E. 9th 815-838-4420Jackies Place 1016 S. State 815-588-0715Paradise Bay 105 W 10th St 815-838-6513Outpost 14929 Archer Ave 815-836-8893Stellas On State 823 S. State St 815-834-2780

Lynwood Bennys 2549 Glenwood 708-474-4348Ho Chunk 10 Southland Dr. 708-418-1400Margaritas 19606 Burnham 708-418-2650

LyonsLyons Tap 8143 W. 47th 708-853-9600Marlins 7236 Pershing Rd 708-442-2645McCaffertys Pub 8107 Ogden 708-442-0630Ricky Ds Place 7901 Ogden 708-442-8688

McCook All Star Bar 7949 W. 47th 708-442-8600

Markham Envys Pub 3625 W 159th 708-331-5860George's Place 15745 Kedzie Ave 708-225-1844

Merrionette Park 115 Bourbon Street 3359 W. 115th 708-388-8881

Midlothian Durbins 14753 S. Cicero 708-687-1700Jacks Place 3915 147th St. 708-489-2250Sullivans 4660 147th St 708-385-4100

Mokena 191 South 10160 W. 191st 708-479-6873Morgans 18700 Old LaGrange Rd 708-478-3610Post Game Pub 9630 Willow 708-479-1302

New Lenox Charlestons 2101 Calistoga 815-462-2000


BAR DIRECTORYRomeoville Stone City Saloon 721 N Independence 805-524-4677

South Chicago Heights Baps Tap 164 W. Sauk Trail 708-755-2277Priscos 11 W. Sauk Tr 708-248-5380Tony G's 33 W. Sauk Tr 708-754-6848

Steger J Martins Tap 81 E. 34th St 708-755-6152Jack's Bar & Grill 436 W. 34th St 708-754-7000Jolt N Joes 3215 Union 708-755-3330

Stickney 39th St. Pub 6611 Pershing Rd 708-484-2466

Stone ParkEl Gusanito 3600 North Ave 708-865-4411

Summit Europe 7245 W. Archer 708-458-1900

Tinley Park Baileys Bar 17731 Oak Park 708-429-7955Cuzins Tavern 17704 Oak Park 708-633-1144Dendrino's 18305 Oak Park 708-532-1639Durbins 17265 Oak Park 708-429-1000JWHollsteins 17348 Oak Park 708-429-7000Old Tinley Pub 17020 Oak Park 708-532-4409Teehan's 17329 Oak Park 708-532-9707

Willow Springs Connies Grove Inn 8258 Kean Ave 708-839-1959Friendly Tap 8240 Archer Ave 708-839-9508Neon Moon Saloon 8236 Kean Ave 708-839-8090

Willowbrook Kerry Piper 7900 Joliet Rd 630-325-3732Maxums 9300 S. Kingery 630-789-6800Phillies Bar 6300 S. Kingery 630-654-0101

Woodbridge Cabana Charleys 6315 Main 630-964-8454Shanahans 1999 W 75th St 630-985-5945

Worth Bar Code 111 7016 W 111th Street 708 448-4040The Chieftan 6908 W 111th Street 708 827-5739Phil Mc Krackens 6602 111th Street 708)671-8090

To be listed in our bar directory call 773.213.4597

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UPCOMING EVENTS: NOVEMBER & DECEMBER

Thanksgiving and Christmas, like most holidays, can often be a hectic time. We are inevitably faced with stressful situations including overindulging on sweets, long travel excursions, planning the perfect meal and a heap of other anxieties that accompany extended periods of time spent with a variety of relatives we prefer in small doses. To take the edge off of the imminently long weekend of family, football, and fat clothes, Chicagoans often begin the holiday frenzy by turning to a night of boozing with friends affectionately referred to as "Black Wednesday. There are also a number of events and venues throughout the city offering entertainment and sometimes free admission that will help to keep the stresses of the season in perspective. Here are just a few suggestions to help get you merrily on your way!

The Museum of Science and Industry 5700 S Lake Shore Drive11/5 & 12/3/2012.The only museum in the Western Hemisphere devoted strictly to science, is offering free admission for Illinois residents on No-vember 5th and December 3rd. Visit www.msichicago.org for more info.

The Shedd Aquarium 1200 S Lake Shore Drive11/5,6,12,13,19,20,26,27/2012Located on the stunning Museum Campus, the aquarium offers free days for Illinois Residents November 5, 6, 12, 13, 19, 20, 26, and 27. Visit www.sheddaquarium.org for more info.

XFO 46Hoffman Estates (Sears Centre Arena)11/17/2012 (Doors open at 5pm)The main event will be Adam Maciejewskie versus Miodrag Petk-ovich, two ghters with proven track records of being in re ghts. Amateur ghts start at 5:30pm, Pro ghts start at 8pm. Visit www.xfomma.com for ticket prices and info.

The Magni cent Mile Lights FestivalN Michigan, from Wacker to Oak11/17/2012 (5:30pm; parade kicks off at 6pm)For over 50 years now, The Magni cent Mile Lights Festival has kicked off the holiday season in Chicago. Over a million lights on trees up and down North Michigan Avenue will be illuminated at this magical holiday celebration hosted by Mickey, Minnie and their friends from Disney Parks. Enjoy exciting marching bands, gigantic balloons, celebrity appearances and more, culminating in a spectacular reworks show over the Chicago River. Free. Visit www.themagni centmile.com for more info.

Best Decorated Bar in Chicago Augies Booze & Schmooze1721 W. Wrightwood ChicagoNovember 20th - January 5th

If you havent experienced Augies Bar Decor this is a must for you. Augies bar is draped with lights and ornaments from oor to ceiling and completed with a train circling the bar from above. Stop by have a holiday drink and soak in the season, youll love it. See the back page of this magazine for their special events

McDonalds Thanksgiving Parade State, from Congress to Randolph11/22/2012 (8-11am)Santa Claus, Ronald McDonald and a cast of thousands bring you the 79th Anniversary of the McDonalds Thanksgiving Pa-rade. Whether youre moving your feet to the melodic carols of marching bands, gazing skyward at the gigantic in atable helium balloons making their way down the street, or waving at talented entertainers in decorative oats dispensing holiday cheer, there is fun to be had by all at the biggest holiday parade in Chicago. Free. Visit www.chicagofestivals.org for more info.Started in the times of the Great Depression, the Parade has been lifting the spirits of Chicago and bringing the community together in celebration. Over 400,000 people lines the parade route on State Street.

Lincoln Park Zoo Lights 2001 N Clark (Lincoln Park Zoo)11/231/26/2013Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday through December 11 and starting December 16 through January 1, activities will be offered nightly. Go ahead, try to act tough, but animals and Christmas stuff is adorable. So take some kids as your cover to Lincoln Park Zoo sometime this holiday season to check out the light displays, with over two million bulbs this year, the animals and of course, Santa. Free. Visit Ipzoo.org for more info.

Chicagoland Toys for Tots Motorcycle Parade83rd & Western (Dan Ryan Woods) Visit www.chicagolandtft.org12/2/2012 (Starts @ 9:30am)Chicagoland motorcyclists have joined forces with the United States Marines, to assist their Toys for Tots program. What start-ed among friends has grown into the It is held on the rst Sunday in December...rain, snow, or shine. There is only one rule to par-ticipate: You must bring a toy and deliver it on a motorcycle. New members $15; renewing members $10 annually.

Fightcard 47 940 W Weed (Joes on Weed Street)12/6/2012 (TBA)The boys at FIGHTCARD prove to be the "Main Event" as the year 2012 comes to a close with the last MMA event of the year hosted by Joe's Bar on Weed Street on Thursday, December 6th. Ready to headline the 47th event is the 135lb FIGHTCARD Champion Azamat Shogenov. Shogenov, one of the fastest and most technical ghters out of Russia, plans on successfully de-fending his throne right in the heart of downtown Chicago. Dont miss this spectacular year end event and get your MMA x with over 10 match ups on the card. Tickets will be available online at www.FightCard.net.

TBOX 2012 Wrigleyville Neighborhood12/8/2012 (Starting at 8am)TBOX (SM) stands for (T)welve (B)ars (O)f (X)mas, an an-nual event held the Second Saturday in December in the Wrig-leyville Neighborhood of Chicago. It started out as just another Pub Crawl, and over the years has evolved into one of the largest and most spectacular events of its kind in the world. The theme of TBOX 2012 is TBOXOPOLY!$10. Visit www.festaparties.com for more information.


This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University.

It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the recep-tion, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's family and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!

BELIEVE OR NOT

Love, Love, Love... ClassicThen he turned to his bride and said, F--- you! Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, I'm outta here.

He had the marriage annulled rst thing in the morning. While most people would have cancelled the wedding immediately

after nding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if noth-ing were wrong. His revenge? Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and fam-ily members.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard priceless commercial out of this? It would

go something like this

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion: $3,000.Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodation in Maui : $8,500.The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless. There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD .

Sick Leave Wong Chow calls into work and says, I no come work today, I really sick. Got head-ache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work. The boss says, You know something, Wong Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.Two hours later Wong Chow calls again. I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house.

INDIANS DON'T USE SADDLES...A woman from New York was driv-ing through a remote part of Ari-zona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horse-back came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one nal 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.

"What did you do to get that In-

dian so excited?" asked the ser-

vice-station attendant.

"Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.""Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."

Coffee Station FlirtEvery day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine. He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore. She takes her issue to a supervisor in Hu-man Resources and asks to le a sexual harassment grievance against the guy. The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you that your hair smells nice?"She says "It's Jimmie, The midget."


This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University.

It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the recep-tion, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's family and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!

BELIEVE OR NOT

Love, Love, Love... ClassicThen he turned to his bride and said, F--- you! Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, I'm outta here.

He had the marriage annulled rst thing in the morning. While most people would have cancelled the wedding immediately

after nding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if noth-ing were wrong. His revenge? Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and fam-ily members.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard priceless commercial out of this? It would

go something like this

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion: $3,000.

Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodation in Maui : $8,500.The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless. There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD .

Sick Leave Wong Chow calls into work and says, I no come work today, I really sick. Got head-ache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work. The boss says, You know something, Wong Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.Two hours later Wong Chow calls again. I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house.

INDIANS DON'T USE SADDLES...A woman from New York was driv-ing through a remote part of Ari-zona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horse-back came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one nal 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.

"What did you do to get that In-

dian so excited?" asked the ser-

vice-station attendant.

"Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.""Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."

Coffee Station FlirtEvery day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine. He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore. She takes her issue to a supervisor in Hu-man Resources and asks to le a sexual harassment grievance against the guy. The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you that your hair smells nice?"She says "It's Jimmie, The midget."


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sociated with lung cancer. For example, Myasthenic Syndrome causes pain in the muscles, particularly in the joints around the pelvis and thighs, along with muscle weakness and tingling.

Dysphagia pain is typical in lung cancer patients. It causes a blockage of the major airway and esophagus, which leads to pain and dif culty in swallowing. These are the obstructions that cause chest pain and wheezing.

Encephalopathy, caused by lung cancer, is associated with brain func-tion. It can lead to painful seizures, loss of consciousness, and involun-tary rapid eye movement.

Lung cancer is also associated with myelopathy, which causes painful bones, bone-marrow pain and abnormal bone growth leading to joint pain.

Is today's cigarette worth this whole-body pain? If you quit now, you can be one of the lucky ones who avoid it.

November is Lung Cancer Awareness MonthLeaders of the November 15th Great American Smokeout ask you to: Help create a world with less cancer and more birthdays.

Generally, smokers will have fewer birthdays to look forward to. Tobacco use is the largest pre-ventable cause of premature death in the United States, yet more than 45 million Americans smoke cigarettes.

A large percentage of them not only want to quit, but have quit for a day or more in the past year. That's a start; one that the American Cancer Soci-ety hopes more smokers will try during The Great American Smokeout.

Most people want to avoid pain. Others can't stand it. But those who are having a smoke rarely associate it with the extreme types of pain as-

A large

American Smokeout.

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What in the World is TBOX Anyway?TBOX stands for(T)welve (B)ars (O)f (X)mas an annual event held the 2nd Saturday in December each year in the Wrig-leyville Neighborhood of Chicago. It started out as just another Pub Crawl, but over the years has evolved into one of the largest and most spectacular events of its kind in the world. The event was founded in 1996 by Chicagoan Christopher Festa as a just for fun event for a few of his friends from work. Over the years, TBOX has grown from about 60 people at its inception to an esti-mated 16,000+ participants in 2011. TBOX2012 is being held on Saturday, December 8, 2012. Originally a sequential tour of 12 bars (based of course on the 12 Days of Christmas carol), TBOX is now an all-day event, starting at 8:00am and rocks out until the bars close their doors. The event that runs for 19 hours and encompasses over 36 bars in the Wrigley area is an event that you must experience to be-lieve. Since 2007, the event has started and ended with Opening and Closing Ceremonies and a nale party at the world-famous Cubby Bear at 1059 W Addison.The event is now owned and produced by Festa Parties Incor-porated, and tickets go on sale beginning in late August at www.festaparties.com/buytbox. Make sure to reserve your spot for this years biggest party of the season and dont forget to pick up your Participant Kit (Gym Bag, T-Shirt, Badge, Lanyard, Sched-ule Card, Coupons, Stickers, and other included items) so you are ready for a day you wont forget. See you there!SEE PAGE 2

If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude. - Charles R. Swindoll, author, founder of "Insight for Living"

Limos Alive, Chicago's premier limousine service in Chicago is embarking on a new adventure; a reality show right here in the "Windy City".

Limos Alive is a family limousine party bus rental business lo-cated in the Chicago area offering exceptional Chicago party bus rental with expert fun drivers to make sure you have a safe, com-fortable, fun ride whatever your needs. Whether it's a birthday party with 8 of your closest friends to a football tailgating party for 40 of your co-workers, you can count on Limos Alive to make sure your event is a safe and memorable one.

In 2012, Limos Alive also started working with Bar Crawl Chicago and many downtown Chicago night spots to offer the best all in-clusive limousine party bus and drink packages that Chicago has to offer.

On October 18th Limos Alive held a casting call at McFadden's in Chicago where potential candidates were interviewed by a cast-ing team to see if they had what it takes to bring the new show to life. The reality series may be featured on Mav.tv as the Pilot and is also being pitched to True TV and MTV in January at the Reel screen conference. The pilot episode will be taped in Chicago very soon, so next time you are in the city look for the reality TV Party Bus at your favorite watering hole!

New Chicago Reality Show Coming Soon

Win Tickets See page 4


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6355 W. 79th St Burbank

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Little FranksPizzeria

(708) 598-8660Order By Fax: (708) 598-2158Fast Delivery or Pick-Up

Hours: Sun thru Thurs 11am - MidFriday & Saturday 11am - 1:30am

BEARS GAMES: $10 BUCKETSFREE BUFFET AT HALF TIME (NO COVER)

MONDAY $1

BUD BOTTLES

THURSDAY $1 MILLER

& OLD STYLE

BOTTLESFREE BUFFET EVERYDAY 4PM TO 6PM

THE BEST PIZZA JUDGED BY THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE

THE BEST PIZZA JUDGED THE BEST PIZZA JUDGED THE BEST PIZZA JUDGED THE BEST PIZZA JUDGED THE BEST PIZZA JUDGED

4th annual nightmare at franks halloween bash

Open Mic Jam Nite Hosted By Ted And Burt Man Also Apple Bobbing, Raf es & Costume Contest

$3 with costume $5 without - 7pm to 2am free food & drink specials all night

Open Mic Jam Nite Hosted By Ted And Burt

4th annual nightmare at 4th annual nightmare at franks halloween bashfranks halloween bashf

ri nov

2nd

BLACK WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 21STOPEN MIC JAM NIGHT

STEVIE STARLITE LIVE NOV 30TH

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The De nitionThe kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the de ni-tion of the word "de nitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good un-derstanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence.

When called upon the rst student says "The sky is de nitely blue". The teacher said "Well that isn't entirely correct because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".

Another student says" Grass is de nitely green". Teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct".

Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher replied, "No, and that is not a suit-able question for class discussion". The student replies, "Then I de nitely crapped my pants".

Top Ten Signs You Might Not Be Ready to Join the Air Force

10. You're afraid of loud noises, heights, and airplanes.

9. For you, the thrill of ight is the little package of salted nuts.

8. In high school, you were voted "queasiest."

7. You don't mind ying, once you've had a few drinks.

6. You pass out from G-forces incurred from riding an escalator.

5. Whenever you see an "eject" lever, you impulsively pull it.

4. You show up to the recruiting center carrying a seatbelt extender.

3. Your primary reason for enlisting is "to meet Iron Man."

2.You giggle every time you say, "cockpit."

1. Our motto, "aim high;" your motto, "I'm high." As seen on David Letterman

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