Cori Muller

Professor Sosa

Prejudice and Discrimination

SOC 230-002

Final Essay

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself,” a perfect

quote by author Wayne Dyer to capture the exact meaning of what my paper will be

about. People are always going to judge something or someone. It’s really disappointing

when people are judging someone because of the color of their skin. Although people of

different skin tones have come a very long way, it’s unfortunate much still face unfair

treatment today. Many people would like to act as if people aren’t prejudice or that they

don’t discriminate against people of different ethnicities then them anymore. This is the

furthest from the truth. Prejudice and discrimination is still very much a huge problem in

society but a lot of people just ignore it. These types of people would much rather sweep

it under the rug so that they don’t have to acknowledge it as a problem. It’s time people

accept the fact that people are still being treated negatively because of the color of their

skin despite the fact slavery in the United States ended and African Americans have more

equal rights then they once had. I’m going to discuss the many ways I’ve personally

faced prejudices or witnessed someone facing it. I’m going to explain different times

where I felt I was treated different because of my skin color. I’ll discuss how this kind of

treatment made me feel, who was treating me differently, where I think their prejudices

stemmed from, how the knowledge I learned in class will stick with me for my lifetime,

how I overcame it, will continue to overcome it and how it’s only made me a stronger

person who’s even more comfortable in my skin then ever before.

When someone asks me my race I’m going to tell that person from now on that

there’s only one race, and that’s the human race (Marger, 2009: 14). After all racism is an

ideology and ideologies don’t necessarily reflect reality; they are largely mythical

(Marger 2009: 19). I’m half white and I don’t know my father’s ethnicity nor is that

important. What is important is that beautiful brown skin tone I was born with. A

beautiful skin tone that many tan hours on end to achieve, but so beautiful that some

people have to treat me ugly because of it. Some don’t want me to feel comfortable or

confident in my own skin. It hasn’t always been this way for me though. My whole

family is Caucasian, which means I am the only member of my family with brown skin.

This is a factor that I wasn’t aware of until about middle school. It never really mattered

what skin tone anyone was to me because I think of everyone as being beautiful no matter

what color his or her skin is. My family never treated me any different, and neither did

my friends. Up until middle school years I had no problem making friends. I lived in a

predominantly white town where I attended schools that were made up of about 90%

white students and very few minorities. This meant that most of the time I was the only

person with brown skin in all of my classes. Also from elementary school until the day I

graduated high school I never once had a black teacher. Again, I never really felt

uncomfortable with this it was just how thing’s were. In middle school when my family

would come to my events I remember kids asking me is that your mom? Are you

adopted? Are you adopted? Are you adopted? That question rung out in my head over

and over again. I would always say no and that the people were my aunt and uncle. I

already had a unique living situation, so when these kids would ask me the adoption

question I always felt very strange. I don’t really know how to explain the feeling but I

felt out of place, different and that was where it all started.

It only got worse from middle school days until now with feeling different from

everyone else. One day in class my teacher was teaching that people of color wouldn’t be

allowed to ride the train. He proceeded to point to me and said “YOU” wouldn’t be

allowed on the train along with pointing at another brown boy of Indian decent. I was

appalled that he had said that but I didn’t know what to say at that moment. I told my

mother when I went home what he said and how it upset me and she too thought it was

wrong of my teacher to point me out and use me as an example. Again after this

happened, I felt so out of place and different. That day I felt horrible. I felt like my brown

skin was something bad or ugly since we wouldn’t have been allowed on the train but all

of the white people in class would have. My mother didn’t want me to feel this way. She

would always tell me that I’m above everyone’s judgments and to not let it bother me.

These were powerful lessons she tried to instill in me but still somewhere in the back of

my head I felt … different. Different from everyone in society. Different from the people

that lived in my town. Different from all of the students that I went to school with. It

wasn’t a good feeling and although I tried to make it go away, these feelings always

stayed with me.

High School was really hard for me. When everyone made his or her new group

of friends I was basically left out. I was never accepted into anyone’s group and the old

friends I once had suddenly disappeared. I didn’t really know what was happening I just

knew I didn’t fit in with everyone else all of a sudden. Next thing I knew I was meeting

more people of different ethnicities. Others referred them to as the minorities of the

school. There was a very obvious separation from the few minorities that all stayed in one

group to all of the other white students that formed their own groups. I belonged to this

minority group by force not by choice. I never wanted to associate myself with a group of

people because of my skin tone. I was placed in the categorical treatment in regards to

minority group’s treatment. It wasn’t a group I could voluntarily remove myself it’s just

where I was placed based off of my physical traits which in this case was my skin tone

(Marger 2009: 31). I just wanted to be friendly and cool with everyone. I guess since

everyone didn’t accept this, the minority group is the only group I could belong in. These

people accepted me into their group but didn’t fully accept me for me. Within the

minority group even more groups formed. This is when the real separation by skin tones

began. It was already apparent that the white people didn’t really accept me into any of

their groups and I couldn’t pin it to any other reason than the color of my skin. Then

within the minority group the Hispanic people stuck together and I wasn’t included in

their group. The black people also stuck together but they separated themselves into light

skins and dark skins. The problem was I was the only “light skin” girl and so the darker

skin girls basically exiled me. They would say things like “she thinks she’s better because

she’s light skin and the guys only want to talk to her because her skin is light there’s no

other reason.” Why were girls that had a brown skin tone saying such things? I couldn’t

understand. In no way was I stuck up or thought I was better than the next person. They

formed their own stereotypes of lighter skinned people and automatically associated them

with me. I went through a lot of drama in those 4 years. A lot of it having to do with

which group I was in and who I should and shouldn’t be friends with based on what some

of my so-called friends deemed acceptable. It was ridiculous how judgmental everyone is

in high school. Whether it’s based on the shade of your skin or your social status,

someone always found something to judge you on. Usually, it was something you had no

control over or couldn’t change. Where did these young minds get such toxic opinions?

I think I discovered the answer to that question during my high school career.

This is a time when I started seeing different skin tones on television. I always felt as

though television made brown skinned people out to be less than or not as attractive as

white people were made out to be. I would see shows in where black people were made

to look as if they had dirty homes, they were thief’s, they were lazy, they were from the

ghetto, they were in gangs, they were poor, they were dangerous, they all carried guns

and the list goes on an on. I never really saw any shows with black people in them that

made them seem like good powerful members of society. I did however see shows that

typically portrayed the dominant white race as these people that were good looking,

perfect, and well off, who lived good lives and were successful. I knew all black people

weren’t this way and I also knew all white people didn’t live this type of life. Yet still,

this affected me and made me think of all brown skin tones and even my skin tone in a

negative way. The media is such a powerful agent in society. It can be used for good but

also as evil. It’s so powerful that it has the potential to alter the way people think. I truly

believe that the media can shape how one views society and the people in it. Depending

on what information someone takes in, it can affect how they choose to live their lives

which in turn can alter how they act and how they treat others. Again, this can be good or

it can be bad. In my own experiences I started to realize that the media was influencing

me to judge people with brown skin tones negatively. I didn’t want to judge people in this

way; it was never in my character to do so. It was only so long before I couldn’t stand the

media anymore and had to take control. In my own little world I boycotted television and

barely, if ever turned it on. I was sick that the media was brainwashing people with these

ideas of prejudice. People thought I was crazy for not wanting to watch television and

when they asked I basically told them that I feel it doesn’t teach you anything good or

real about the real world. People would look at me funny but this was something I was

getting used to at this point. For a while, I would only watch the history channel or just

not turn on the T.V. at all. The sad truth is that many people get fed the false information

that the media puts out and just start to believe it rather than thinking for themselves or

formulating their own opinion. They think that if it’s something the media says than it

must be true when really it’s the total opposite. I think that the media is one of the largest

influences of teaching prejudices. This could explain the reason my peers in high school

had such negative opinions on people of different skin tones than them. They weren’t

exposed in real life to people of color except for the few that were in their school. They

automatically thought the few people that had a different skin tone then them were like

every other stereotype that they had heard. Not to mention, I never had an African

American teacher throughout my entire school career. This most likely meant the kids I

went to school with didn’t either. They didn’t have any person of color in their lives to

look up to, or respect. There also weren’t many African Americans that resided in the

several neighborhoods that made up our school district. So, the students could never see

that African Americans lived normal civilized lives just as they did. These people fit the

normative theory of prejudice, which describes their negative thoughts coming from their

social environment. This and other factors compelled them to think how others around

them did (Marger 2009: 67). This was unfortunate that they had no exposure to people of

color but still it was no excuse. I’m also sure that many of the kid’s parents or adults that

they looked up too were prejudice. This was what these kids learned throughout their

lives and that negativity plus the medias negativity in regards to African Americans

caused these kids to stereotype all colored people. They were prejudice; they carried this

negative attitude of people that had different skin colors than them everywhere they went

(Marger 2009: 78). Like it was a survival kit and they would need it to defend their life at

any moment. That’s what it felt like to me at least. I used to think to myself; with

maturity and age they will grow out of it and stop thinking this way. Boy was I wrong.

I applied to SUNY Cortland to continue my education in 2013. It was the biggest

decision I’ve ever made to leave home and transfer to a college 5 hours away. I was so

excited for new faces and to interact with different types of people from different walks

of life. I didn’t do research on the demographics of the college because that was the last

thing on my mind when going away to school. I didn’t expect much out of college life

but to meet all types of friendly, interesting, new people from many different places. I

chose a building to live in that said it had a transfer floor. The website made the transfer

floor seem like this amazing living experience for transfers to have. A place where all of

the transfers would be in the same boat as I am and we’d all get to live on the same floor

and interact like one big happy family. This would happen really easily because we all

are going through the same experience at the same time. I was excited when I read my

residence hall information. Hayes Hall 319 (transfer floor). Yes! This could be great I

thought to myself. I’ll finally get to meet all different types of people from different

places. I’d finally get away from the typical prejudice people that lived to judge like I had

known throughout high school. It felt like all new beginnings were to come. That was,

until I stepped foot into the darkest never-ending nightmare that I wish was only a

nightmare.

I went in with a positive attitude into what I thought would be a judgment

free happy place to live. The first few days were normal as it would be in any residence

hall. Friendly smiling faces waving hello to one another. It was such a fresh new start to

life. It only took about 2 weeks before the real nightmare began. A nightmare that won’t

end until the day I leave this building May 14th 2014. The people in the hall started eating

meals together and they would cordially invite one another to go eat. I personally was

never asked. They would pass right by me and invite the next person. Mind you we all

had just met, so how close could these people have gotten so quickly? It didn’t really

phase me I still kept a smile on and said hello to every passing face. Soon the hellos

weren’t reciprocated. I would be stared at but still I’d say hello. I’d walk into the lounge

where everyone would hang out and welcome anyone who came in. But when I had

walked in the lounge no one would say anything to me. I started feeling out of place and

stopped going to the lounge as much. I was still friendly I never stopped being friendly to

these people who waited on me to speak to them. I played loud music because that is

what I enjoy. A few people did but for whatever reason they couldn’t stand my music. I

realized this when people would say things like your music makes me cringe, why can’t

you listen to nice music? I would hear people say she must be from the city and other

strange stereotypical things. This was odd to me because they too listened to similar

music (hi hop, rap) along with other kinds of music, which I also played. These

stereotypes were just pictures that these people painted in their head of me. They didn’t

personally know me or ask where I was from (Marger 2009: 52). Everyday there would

be a new dirty look or a new comment made about my friend Shanice or I. We’re the

only two girls on our floor that have brown skin. Shanice and I wouldn’t ever be invited

out or to eat with them as they ate and partied about 10-15 of them at a time together. We

started to talk about how they treated us and realized that it had to be because we have

brown skin. There really wasn’t any other explanation for it. Shanice’s roommate never

once asked her to go eat with them even in Shanice’s first few days in the building when

it was obvious she didn’t know anyone. Her roommate would also sometimes greet her

saying “what up Ma.” This was strange because Shanice doesn’t speak to anyone this

way. This girl didn’t speak to anyone else this way either. She was from upstate New

York and it was unusual why she had talked to Shanice like that. I had a roommate too.

She was from Oswego. Long story short, we respected each other but we were total

opposites. But that’s what college is all about accepting that not everyone is the same as

you. I think she had a hard time doing this and could have had prejudice ways about her

because when everyone came back after the first semester her side of the room was

empty and she clearly had moved out. Gone. Without a heads up or anything. She never

talked about transferring or moving out so I was very confused. I learned later on that she

transferred to Oswego I still don’t understand why except that she wanted to live closer to

home. The next semester was not much different than the first one. This time though, the

people made it very clear that they were prejudice. They should have just stuck a label on

their head that said so. One guy would literally say it’s funny we’ve never invited you or

Shanice to eat with us and then laugh about it. Another guy would call Shanice and I “the

ratchets” which is an extremely derogatory term used to describe a dirty poor obnoxious

ghetto black girl. We behaved in no way that would explain why he gave us this label

except that he thought it was funny. We’d tell him don’t call us that but he just didn’t get

it. Besides the girls on the floor never speaking to us or even saying a cordial hello when

they passed us by the guys too was very judgmental and prejudice. I would be in the

lounge and one guy would say “Hey I’m going to tell a really funny racist joke.” I said

don’t do that especially while I’m in here that’s so ignorant. He said, “it’s not that bad.”

To me, any joke that is going to degrade someone because of his or her background is

horrible and I let that be known. Not even one minute later another boy said, “Oh c’mon

Cori I really wanted to know the punch line.” So because this guy wanted a quick laugh I

should let this guy tell his racist joke freely and not say a damn word? That’s literally

exhibiting the definition of prejudice that we learned in class. Getting ahead at the

expense of others. These types of things would happen everyday. Everyday I was in

Hayes Hall I heard a new hateful comment describing someone’s race. For example their

favorite line was “it’s because he/she is black.” One night a few of the girls so obviously

ignored me that I had felt so fed up. I put a picture on my door of me my mother and my

aunt. Above each person I put a sticky note that said they were my mother and my aunt. I

left it up for the night and hoped that people saw it. I wanted them to know that even

though I have brown skin my family is white just like yours so what’s so different about

me? What gives you the right to treat me horribly? Is it just because my skin is brown and

your skin is white? I couldn’t imagine them having any other reason.

Imagine feeling like several people were treating you differently every single day

and you had no understanding as to why? Especially since the beginning of this semester,

I feel like I’m a ghost. That is the easiest way for me to describe the feeling. It feels like

these people pass me every single day like I don’t even exist. They’ve done an excellent

job at making me feel like I don’t belong. It feels horrible. Shanice and I put up with it

every day never saying anything to these people because no one ever wants to “pull the

race card.” What could be said to them? Please change your ways. Stop being prejudice.

Don’t stereotype me? They would never admit to it and I’m sure many of them don’t

even realize they’re doing it. It sort of just happens naturally. Like their judgments,

stereotypes, hurtful words and comments were just a way of life for them. We just take it

all in, what feels everyday like a blow to the face from a heavy weight champion boxer.

Sometimes when I don’t encounter the people much during the day it can be a good day.

The days that I do encounter them often, my moods are usually always affected in a

negative way. Since I take it in everyday I internalize negative feelings towards these

people. It builds and builds and just keeps building up inside of my head. There are so

many things I want to say and get it all out but now it has just turned into anger, pain,

hurt, sadness, animosity and more. Words typed endlessly on this paper can’t express all

of the emotions these people have made me feel. I’ve experienced several nights in which

I wish I were the ghost they treated me as. I wish I hadn’t had to wake up some days to

play the lead role in these people’s sick horror movie. I’ve had some really low points in

the one year I spent at this college than I have ever had throughout my entire life. No

matter how hard I tried to not let these peoples actions control me it was sometimes too

hard to handle. Sometimes, it even became hard to focus on my studies the only reason

I’m here to begin with. I had thought about leaving buildings or transferring colleges that

maybe here is not the right place for leaving and me would solve everything. Then I think

to myself, people can’t be like this everywhere. I just got put into this hall on this floor

with this specific group of people as a life experience. A test. If I leave or transfer, they

win and that gives them power and authority. Like always, the dominant group would

win and they’d come out on top. That’s exactly what they want me too and that’s exactly

why I didn’t go anywhere. I aced the test. It was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done

but I stayed. I took every comment every look everything they had to throw at me. I took

it all in and I came out as a stronger person than I have ever been in my entire life. I

didn’t come into Hayes Hall transfer floor with any confidence but I will leave here with

a whole lot of confidence, pride, self esteem, knowledge, acceptance, and one of the most

important things of all. I will leave here loving myself for who I am and the beautiful

brown skin tone that I am blessed to have. I no longer feel out of place, or different as I

had in my past, instead I feel beautiful. I sometimes try to explain to some people I care

about what I’ve gone through here but unless one actually experiences such unfair

treatment first hand, it can never be truly understood how I felt and what I went through.

I am thankful that I experienced this and that the people were the way they were. It taught

me how to handle life even when you’re being treated differently. I know this is a life

experience that I will need to have under my belt if I’m out in the real world and a similar

thing happens. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what I went through but I know that

there’s a reason I went through it and that it was a necessary part of my life. I do wish

that the people here knew how I felt and so I even thought about placing an anonymous

copy of this essay on the table in the lounge for them to read. I’m hoping that these

people aren’t this ignorant for the rest of their lives. I learned in one of my sociology

courses that when people go away to college they are less prejudice in life because

they’ve been exposed to people of several different ethnicities. I give the people on the

transfer floor the benefit of the doubt. No matter how ugly their hearts may be now I’m

hoping that as they grow they’ll become more accepting of people who are different from

them. I really do believe people can change their thoughts and opinions if they just open

their eyes to all of the different walks of life people come from.

I can honestly say that taking this prejudice and discrimination course has helped

me throughout a lot of the experiences I went through this semester. I want to first of all

thank you Professor Sosa for teaching this course. I feel that the knowledge I learned in

this course helped me to grow as a human being. I myself became more of an accepting

person. I think twice now before I might say something that could be hurtful to someone.

I also accept that not everyone is going to treat you the same. Everyone is different

therefore everyone has his or her own opinions. Now, I may not understand why people

are the way they are, but I do accept this. I stayed quiet during class because I really

wanted to observe what my peers had to say and absorb the knowledge that I was

learning. I believe that I learned valuable knowledge as well as lessons that will stick

with me forever and that I could use to help me in life in my future. I think that a lot of

the information we discussed in class helps me to make sense of where these negative

thoughts stem from in someone’s mind. I wish that it were a requirement that everyone at

college has to take a prejudice and discrimination course. I truly feel as though people

wouldn’t be as prejudice, opinionated or use stereotypes if they learned the information

presented to us in class. If everyone had to take this class it could honestly open peoples

closed eyes to many realities of society. If it changed the way one person thought that it

would be effective but I know it would change more than that. So many people try to act

like prejudice people don’t exist anymore. I believe a lot of people just ignore the fact

that people are prejudice everywhere in the world. People really do need to realize that

this is a huge problem in society that needs to end. I hope that people in the future don’t

teach their children to judge someone off the color of their skin. It’s like an epidemic that

no one has a cure for so it just keeps infecting more and more people. I hope that one day

no one is prejudice anymore. If it stops getting taught to future generation eventually

people won’t even think to judge someone because of the color of their skin except for

what history teaches them. And if they follow it all the way back to history they would

learn that we all come from one person in Africa. Tell me how they could judge

someone’s skin tone after learning that? I know that when I have children I’m going to

make sure that they aren’t exposed to anything that could make them want to judge

someone because of their skin color. I’m going to do everything in my power during my

lifetime to stop stereotypes from being used and stop comments based on skin color from

being said in my presence. I stand for equality I even have a tattoo of the word on my

forearm. I want people to know when they see me that I believe everyone should be

treated equal. No one person or group is better than the next; in fact we are all equal.

Going back to my opening quote I want to conclude with the idea that when someone

judges another person they aren’t defining that person like they think they are. They are

really defining themselves. It speaks to their character when they judge someone else.

How can they really be comfortable in their own skin if they have to go judge someone

else based on theirs? I think everyone should live by the words of Martin Luther King, Jr.

don’t judge people by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. Just

think how much power those words possess if everyone lived by them.

Bibliography

Marger, Martin. Race and Ethnic Relations: American and Global Perspectives.

2009 Seventh Edition. Thomson Wadsworth: Belmont, California.