The Enneagram – Understanding a Type Two

Posted on February 15, 2011

Nine Ways of Relating in Life – Are You a Two?

Would you consider yourself a real people person? That

life is about relationships; of being needed by others in

your life to support them and keep them in a happy place

whenever possible? Do you always like to see the best

in others? Do you intuitively know what kind of mood

someone is in without having to ask? If you find yourself

nodding with agreement, then read on to learn more

about Type Two.

Remember that we all have a bit of every type in us so it

is valuable to explore how each type fits into our own being.

Type Twos can be called the Helper, the Giver, the Loving Person, the Caretaker. Twos are

motivated to be appreciated by others, to be helpful and so earn love. They fear rejection. A

huge amount of effort, often to the point of exhaustion, is put out to meet other people’s

needs. Twos have a built-in radar to know how to respond to all types of people and to say

and do just the right thing. This sensitivity operates without really having to work at it.

There is an underlying need to receive approval and Two’s tend to be very flattering and

positive, always bringing attention to others strengths. If you have a Two in your life, they will

always remember your birthday and spend time picking out the perfect card, if you are going

through a tough time, expect them to be right there to support you, if you are in charge of a

big project, then find a Two to help make it happen. That is the Twos typical style – to find

leaders whose cause they believe in and be the power behind the throne – not the one in

the spotlight. You will wonder how you could ever have done it without them!! And that is

exactly how they want to place themselves. A Two can be juggling all their balls in the air

and if you happen to ask them for help – you got it, the answer is always Yes! That is

definitely a challenge for our Twos – saying no. They can become drained because of all

the doing for others. After all – it is not okay for THEM to ask for help. They also have

trouble knowing what it is that they truly want as all the focus is on what others want.

Twos at their best in relationships are attentive, appreciative, generous, warm, playful and

nurturing. Twos make their partners feel special and loved. Twos at their worst in a

relationship, are controlling, possessive, needy and insincere. Since they have trouble

asking directly, they tend to manipulate to get what they want.

When Twos learn that if they do not look after themselves, there is nothing left of them to

look after others – and that they are inherently loveable for themselves, then they can bring

the scale back into balance.

We have a Type Two Minister at our church and she is amazing at delivering a sermon that

1 von 5

speaks to each and everyone, being creative and fun, even childlike while leading the

“children’s time”, hosting a dinner for the choir yearly to let them know how special they are

and opening up her own home to the congregation at Christmas for an open house! We just

need to remind her to take regular study breaks to regroup and build back up her seemingly

endless reservoir for serving others or we could lose her to burnout.

Practical suggestions for Type Two:

Spend time alone, at home, walking in nature. Take a vacation alone.

Give yourself some of the attention and pampering that you usually give to others.

Value the love that is in your life instead of focusing on what’s missing.

Set limits. Say, “No, this is not a good time to talk” or “No, I will not be able to help right

now” when you feel that another’s request or demand would be too stressful for you.

Try to be your own person, not the one others want you to be. Remind yourself that not

everyone likes you, and that this is normal.

Take pleasure in giving in little ways. Stop overgiving and graciously accept when

people give to you.

Notice when anger arises and look to see what need you are repressing.

Practice telling truth honestly without a positive spin, even if it is negative.

Famous Twos:

Mother Teresa, Desmond Tutu, Eleanor Roosevelt, Luciano Pavarotti, Barbara Bush, Leo

Buscalia, Bill Cosby, Barry Manilow, Lionel Ritchie, Kenny G., Lillian Carter, Martin Sheen,

Robert Fulghum, Jack Paar, Ann Landers, Dr. McCoy (Star Trek), Mr. Rogers

Do you think you are a Type Two? I love getting feedback. And here on my blog, you’ll get

commentluv. This is a plugin that allows you to leave a link back to your own site when you

leave a comment.

Until next time,

Karen

SHARE THIS:

This entry was posted in Business, Personal Development and tagged Enneagram,

Enneagram Type 2, Inside Out, Karen Armstrong, Personality Trait of Type 2,

personality traits, Personality Types, Type 2 - The Helper, understanding personality

types by Karen Armstrong. Bookmark the

1 1

2 von 5

6 THOUGHTS ON “THE ENNEAGRAM – UNDERSTANDING A TYPE TWO”

.

Charlene Day

on February 15, 2011 at 1:41 pm said:

Karen

Great article. I also have a strong two wing so it was great to read your suggestions.

I’m going away into nature this weekend to regenerate the two aspect of myself.

Thanks for a great article.

Charlene

Karen

on February 15, 2011 at 2:50 pm said:

Hi Charlene – thanks for the feedback. It is so important for each of us to

honour all aspects of ourselves and for sure there would be strong connec-

tion here for you. I will send part of me away with you this weekend and in

turn keep you with me as I lead the panels workshop on Saturday. I would be

interested in learning of any insights you gain away in nature this weekend,

Cheers, Karen

Carmen Smith

on February 18, 2011 at 9:43 am said:

Hi Karen,

Wow I am loving your blog!!! What a great idea. It was no accident that I opened it

up this morning and the personality type was a two! I needed a few of those

reminders this week. I’ve got alot of balls in the air right now! Can’t wait to see you

soon!!!

Carmen

3 von 5

Karen

on February 18, 2011 at 12:47 pm said:

Hey Carmen – at least you are allowing your intuition to guide you!! Glad that

the timing was right for you to read this and I look forward to any reflections

or questions you may have on future posts! Have a great family weekend.

Karen

Bea

on October 17, 2012 at 3:17 pm said:

Hi Karen,

I love your blogs. I was wondering if you can help me with my situation. I am a 4w5

that is dating a 2w1 and were having lots of trouble. Were both the emotional types

and tend to focus a lot on our relationships. We both have strong wings so

sometimes I feel like a 4 but am extremely detached like a 5. He is the same. He is

very reserved as he as a 1 wing, but he is still an emotional 2. So as much as we

both feel needy, we tend to not show it so much. He also fears rejection and I fear

abandonment.

From the start weve had trust issues. I did somethings that made him resentful of me

and in turn, he did somethings that hurted me. As a 4, I feel emotions intensely but I

know 2s are very very sensitive to criticism so I have resorted to not show how

mad/sad I am at him. I do care for him and the last thing I would want to do is hurt

him, but in not expressing my emotions, I feel extremely hurt and numb, and thus Ive

started to push him away to protect myself. Right now he is trying to get to me and

has been asking me out for weeks. He also tends to manipulate me, instead of

asking for what he wants, and I know he is getting unhealthy as he has resorted to

being indispensable. I know he fears that I might leave him, but I also fear that if I

stay, he will hurt me by abandoning me. Were both lost. Although I do like him, I do

not trust him completely. But he is a good guy, he has a lot of integrity due to his 1

wing. How do we get across to each other when we both tend to dance around our

feelings?

Thank you. Any advice would help.

Karen

on November 19, 2012 at 7:50 am said:

Hi Bea – well you have summed this up beautifully. It would appear that you

were drawn together to have the opportunity to work out these very core ten-

dencies of your types. As sensitive’s, we can shy away from speaking our

truth because of the negative reactions that are possible however – truth is

4 von 5

HTML Snippets Powered By : XYZScripts.com

what we most deeply desire because then trust is built and not destroyed.

You have the opportunity here to either shut the door because of your fear of

abandonment or take the risk to bust through – take a chance in a new way.

Speak your truth through love – allow room for the other to speak their truth

and then you will know whether you want to step forward into building a last-

ing relationship with each other. If you are not being true to yourself, it will

never have lasting power because it takes great effort to hold yourself back.

Invite your partner to face his fear and dig in to know what his truth isFit can

take more time to get into that place as a 2, but encourage him that you de-

serve to know what he truly thinks and so does he! Keep reading, exploring

and most importantly risking. You and your life are worth it.

Karen

5 von 5