12348 anger handout

8/8/2019 12348 Anger Handout

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Protective Response International Ltd 2004

C4 Risk Management Group Ltd

ANGERUnit Standard 12348

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Protective Response International Ltd 2004 2


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Introduction

Anger is a completely normal human state of emotion. The emotion itself is neither

good nor bad, but as we all know when it is not controlled it can be exceptionally

destructive.

Anger is probably the most poorly handled emotion in our society. From time to time

all of us experience this extremely powerful emotion. It can vary from a mild

irritation to an absolute intense rage.

Some of the common causes of anger include: hurt; frustration; annoyance;harassment; disappointment and threats.

Anger can be our friend (controlled) or enemy (uncontrolled), it depends on the way

we choose to express it. Knowing how to recognise and express it appropriately can

help us reach our goals, solve our problems, handle emergencies and protect our

health. A failure to recognise ones anger can lead to a variety of personal difficulties.

What Causes a Person to Experience Anger?

There are basically two ways of experiencing anger. You can feel angry with yourself

or you can feel angry at another person or object. For exampleyou can be angry at

yourself for not doing as well as you could have in an examor you can feel angry at

someone else as a result of an argument or dispute.

Internal anger is directed at yourself for something you have done or not done

External anger is directed at someone else or an object as a result of an altercation or

interaction.

Expressing Anger

Normally we express anger by responding aggressively. Anger is a natural response to

a threatening situation. It causes powerful feelings and strong actions which allows us

to fight and defend ourselves if we are threatened or attacked. A certain amount of

anger is essential for our survival. This can be seen as a positive response to anger.

For example an athletes performance can be enhanced by the extra energy produced

from a moderate amount of anger.

But at the same time we also know that we on the other hand cannot lash out at every

person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms and common sense

place limits on how far our anger can take us.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with anger

feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing and calming.

Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive non aggressive manner is the healthiest

way to express angerto achieve this you need to be able to make clear what yourrequirements are, and how to get them met without hurting others. Being assertive



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does not mean being pushy or demandingit means being respectful of yourself and

others. Assertive behaviour and skills will be discussed in more detail in US 1299.

Anger can be suppressed, then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold

your anger in, stop thinking about it and focus on something positive. The aim is to

inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it to more constructive behaviour. The riskinvolved with this technique is that the anger may be turned inward (on yourself) with

out having the chance of outward expression. Anger turned inward can cause

hypertension, high blood pressure and or depression.

Unexpressed anger can cause other problems. It can lead to expressions of anger such

as passive-aggressive behaviour (getting back at people indirectly) or a personality

that appears cynical of hostile. People who are constantly putting others down or are

constantly critical have not learned how to express their anger. Normally a person

who displays this type of behaviour will have great difficulty in maintaining long term

successful relationships.

Lastly, you can calm down insidethis means not just controlling your anger but

your internal responses as well. Taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself

down and let the feeling subside has been known to work.

It has been noticed that if none of these three techniques work then something or

someone is going to get hurt.

The expression of anger can take many forms dependant on the person and the

circumstances they are involved in. Sometimes expressing anger can lead to the abuse

of ourselves and others. Some ways that people express there anger are:

1. Physical abuse of themselves

- punch or kick a wall (injure themselves)

- drink to excess (health issues)

2. Physical abuse of others

- Assault on other persons or use weapons

3. Non physical abuse of themselves

- Swear at self

- Negative self talk (lowers self esteem)

4. Non physical abuse of others

- Verbal abuse (yelling, shouting)

- Damage property (break windows etc)

- Use a position of power (have favourites at work)



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The Cycle of Abuse

More often that not the anger expression process if not handled correctly can lead to

more negative expressions of angerthis is referred to as the anger and abuse cycle.

To give you an idea of how this can eventuate, the following examples are ways inwhich this can happen:

1. Physical - punch the wall, get even angrier and kick

the wall, hurting yourself twice as much.

2. Non physical - damage someones property, they find out it was

you and damage some of your property, you

retaliate by damaging something else of theirs,

anger builds leading to further damage.

The cycle of abuse can last for a very long period. Abuse is repeated by the abuseruntil it becomes accepted as normal behaviour by the abusedthis in turn leads to the

abused person going on to abuse their own partners, children and associates.

Types of Abusive Anger

We now know that anger is a normal human response to a threatening situation, if

used positively it can be a very effective toolif used negatively the consequences to

you, your close family and friends can have detrimental effects.

The various types of abuse that can result from abusive anger expression are:

1. Emotional - Negative feedback, Criticism, Insults, Not

sharing feelings, Discounting ones feelings.

2. Verbal - Yelling, Name calling, Threats or insults,

Threats to leave a relationship.

3. Restricting - Control over someone, Cutting them off from

friends and family.

4. Financial - Taking money, not allowing partners access to

money, Gambling, Drinking, With holding pay.

5. Decision Making - No consultation when making joint decisions,

Putting down partners decisions.

6. Intimidation - Using actions or expressions to intimidate. \

Smashing property and displaying threatening

behaviour.

7. Physical - Hitting, Pinching, Shoving, Kicking, Biting etc



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8. Self Directed - Drug and Alcohol abuse, Self Mutilation

Consequences of Abusive Behaviour

As stated above the consequences of abusive anger can have a detrimental effect onthe person and those around them. Some of the consequence that results from abusive

anger are as follows:

1. People start to fear you (partner, children, friends, work colleagues)

2. Lowered self esteem (because you know you have been nasty to other

people)

3. Drift into the abuse cycle

4. Hurt other people

5. Hurt yourself

6. Legal ramifications (arrest, fines, criminal record, imprisonment)

7. Loss of employment

8. Loss of friends

9. Breakdown of relationships (marriage, children, friends and family)

10. Lack of promotions or advancement.

Constructive Anger Management

Have you ever experienced anger and then used that energy constructively. This

requires motivation and effort to redirect the anger from a negative experience to a

positive one. Some people use the energy within their anger to communicate

effectively with the other person, or alternatively to take some positive steps to solve

the problem. As an exampleinstead of going to bed at night and letting a problemprevent you from sleepingwhy not get up and use the time and energy to map out

an effective solution to your issue.You can see this on a rugby field when a player is

the victim of some illegal tacticinstead of fighting he channels his anger into

playing harder and faster and therefore using the anger constructively to assist his

team in winning the game.

Probably the most productive way is taking your angry feelings to the source, in other

words directly to the person involve, but ensure that you present your anger in a

positive way. If the anger is self directed try to express these feelings to a close friend,

your partner or a counselor. In other words try to get the angry feelings off your chest.

A problem shared is a problem halved



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Consequences of Constructive Anger Management

As for abusive anger there are also consequences for constructive anger management.

The following list shows that there are some benefits for positive management:

1. More respect from people (family, friends, work colleagues)

2. Other people understand how you feel.

3. Able to display anger and get it out without hurting other peoples feelings.

4. Able to do a better job

5. Dont hurt yourself physically.

6. Dont hurt others physically.

Strategies to Deal with Anger Positively

If you are hotcool off

It is a braver thing to walk away from a fight. It is always the better option. Anger

affects us physically so:

1. Take a break (Time out)

2. Walk away

3. Spend a couple of minutes running cool water over your wrists.

4. Do physical exercise.

5. Write a letter (even though you may not send it)

6. Dont drive a car until you have cooled down.

7. Change the subject in your mind and think calm thoughts.

8. Resist the temptation to hit or smash thingsit may release tension but it

also tends to be a rehearsal for violence. If your children or partner

observes you being violent and smashing things this can be very

intimidating for them.

9. Talk to someone who is neutral and wont take sides.

10. Notice the feeling of anger building and acknowledge it.



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11. Breathe deeply to manage it.

12. Use assertive communication to explain what you want.

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Set Some Personal Boundaries

Every one needs boundaries in their lifewhen anger is involved it is a good option

to set yourself some boundaries and never step outside of them. Some suggestions are

as follows:

If I am angry:

1. I will never hurt another person.

2. I will not hurt myself.

3. I will not break anything.

4. I will talk to someone about what is making me angry.

Anger Organisations

There are various organizations that can assist anyone who may have an anger

problem. These organizations are listed in the Yellow Pages page 621, they can be

accessed through Internet or consult your local GP.



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1. What is anger? What emotions are linked to anger?E.g. When you think of a person showing anger in their behaviour,what emotions may they be experiencing?

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2. The expression of anger often leads to different forms of abuse.Complete the following table.

Physical (To self)

Non Physical (To self)

Physical (To others)

Non Physical (To others)

1. How are these forms of abuse repeated in peoples lives?Give an example for one physical and one non-physicalform of abuse.

Physical form of abuse:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________-_______________________________________________________

Non-physical form of abuse:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Give four results or consequences of what happens when anger isexpressed abusively.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



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4. Give four results or consequences for handling anger in a positiveway.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Give three examples you have seen and/or experienced where

anger has been handled without abuse happening. These examplesmust be relevant to you and your role in security.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Name two organisations that provide anger management help.

Include the name of the organisation, where they are located, howto best contact them, and a brief list of the services they provide.12348v2 - PC

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12348 anger handout

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