lesson 2.4 managing anger - school-connect · managing anger lesson 2.4 review of signs of anger (5...

Developing Self-Awareness and Self-Management Module 2 Page 39Copyright © 2009 School-Connect ®

TO THE TEACHER

• Negative attributions about others can trigger and escalate anger.

• Anger may mask underlying emotions such as fear, jealousy,and sadness.

• Strategies for managing anger and other stressful emotionsinclude positive self-talk, disputing negative attributions,envisioning calm scenes, slow breathing, and counting.

� What escalates anger?

� What emotions does anger often cover up?

� How can we manage anger and other stressful emotions?

Students will be able to

• Recognize signs of anger and other stressful emotions withinthemselves.

• Dispute their negative attributions about others.

• Defuse anger and other stressful emotions through positiveself-talk, or by disputing negative attributions, envisioning calmscenes, slow breathing, and counting.

Escalation of anger, emotional hijacking, negative attribution, negativeattributional bias, underlying emotions, residual anger, positive self-talk,dispute, envision

This lesson addresses how to manage anger and other stressful emotions.Students gain an overview of the anger cycle, including what promptsand escalates anger. Through a take-a-stand exercise, they explorewhether anger gives them personal power. They apply their newknowledge about anger by completing a handout for homework. On thesecond day, the class discusses the handout and practices techniques fordefusing anger and other stressful emotions.

Anger is fickle. It has its good points (Where would we be if people had notbeen angered over slavery?) and its bad points (How many lives would havebeen saved if people had remained calm?). Anger masks other emotions—such as jealousy, hurt, and fear—and deludes some of us into thinkingthat it gives us personal power. The negatives may outweigh thepositives, but anger is here to stay as one of our basic emotions.Although heredity and environment play a part in our tendency tobecome angry, whether we feed it or work to defuse it is largely up to us.

Lesson 2.4 Managing Anger (2 Days)

BackgroundInformation

Lesson Synopsis

Objectives

Key Terms

Essential Questions

EnduringUnderstandings

Module 2 Developing Self-Awareness and Self-Management

LESSON 2.4 Managing Anger

Being able to manage anger and other stressful emotions requires someknowledge of how anger arises and escalates, especially the role of ourthought processes. For example, do we tend to attribute negative intentand characteristics to others? This kind of negative self-talk serves to fanthe flames. To manage anger and other stressful emotions, we needtechniques for mitigating our negative feelings and thinking rationally.

• Model management of emotions and relaxation responses inthe classroom.

• When students lose control of their emotions, walk themthrough deep-breathing exercises and other anger-managementtechniques.

• Help students identify underlying feelings and ways in whichthey might address them.

• In helping students identify the source of their feelings, askwhat prompted their feelings, rather than what made them feelthat way.

• Lead envisioning exercises prior to stressful activities such astests, public-speaking engagements, and competitions.

• Assess your teaching style as to whether it unduly increases thestress load on students.

• Refrain from encouraging excessive academic competition, andfrom comparing one student to another or publicly humiliatingstudents in any way.

• Write essential questions on the board.

• Copy Handouts 2.4.1, 2.4.2, 2.4.3, 2.4.4, 2.4.5, and 2.4.6.

Slaby, R.G., & Guerra, N.G. (1988). Cognitive mediators of aggressionin adolescent offenders: 1. Assessment. Developmental Psychology, 24,580–588.

Guerra, N.G., & Slaby, R.G. (1990). Cognitive mediators of aggressionin adolescent offenders: 2. Intervention. Developmental Psychology,26, 269–277.

Dr. Slaby and Dr. Guerra are well-known researchers in the field of youth-violenceprevention. These companion articles underline the connection between automaticthoughts and aggression in teens.

Teaching Tips

Preparation

RecommendedResources

Copyright © 2009 School-Connect ®

Developing Self-Awareness and Self-Management Module 2 Page 41

Spotter Check-in(5 minutes)

Have students check in with their spotter.

[Have students discuss their automatic thought logs with their spotter.Afterwards, ask for a few sample entries.]

Introduce lesson theme and essential questions.

Today we are going to talk about automatic thoughts that cause us tofeel anger and other stressful emotions. The essential questions are

� What escalates anger?

� What emotions does anger often cover up?

� How can we manage anger and other stressful emotions?

Pass out Handout 2.4.1: How We Know We Are Angry.

First, let’s review what we know about anger, possibly the most stressfulof our emotions. Fill out this handout as we talk.

• What cues let us know that we are angry? (Feel hot, handsfeel sweaty, muscles are tense, head or stomach hurts, heart rateand breathing speed up, use of negative self-talk.) [Liststudents’ answers on the board.]

• What types of events prompt your anger? (Someone putsyou down, you feel that you are being treated unfairly,someone attacks you physically or verbally.)

• Is it the event that prompts your anger, or the way you thinkabout the event? (Anger is an automatic response, but it is ourthoughts that determine whether we escalate anger or defuse it.)

Notice that I say “prompts your anger,” rather than “makes you angry.”

• Why do you think I use the word “prompt” instead of“make”? (Use of the word “make” implies that we have no choicein how we respond. While our feeling of anger may be automatic,we choose whether to escalate, sustain, or defuse our anger.)

Discuss Handout 2.4.2: Escalation of Anger.

Let’s look at the thinking patterns that lead to the escalation of angerand can get us into trouble.

[Ask a student to read aloud, starting from the bottom of the thermometer—showing that Megan’s feelings go from cool to hot. Ask students to answerthe questions.]

• What initially prompted Megan to feel angry? (Donna’sstatement about Megan being “retro”)

• What do you think Donna meant by “retro”? (She couldhave been either complimentary or cutting in saying it; itdepends on the way she said it.)

Managing Anger LESSON 2.4

Review of Signs of Anger(5 minutes)

Pass out Handout 2.4.1: How We Know We Are Angry.

Discussion: Escalation of Anger(10 minutes)

Pass out Handout 2.4.2:Escalation of Anger.

escalation of anger:intensification of anger throughnegative thoughts and aggressivebehavior

LESSON OUTLINE


2 Module 2 Developing Self-Awareness and Self-Management


Attributions Survey & Discussion(15 minutes)

Pass out Handout 2.4.3:Attributions Survey.

• What thoughts then escalated Megan’s anger (i.e., fannedthe flames)? (#4 and #5 on the handout)

• What behaviors escalated her anger? (Slamming the locker,storming down the hall, bumping into people)

• What does it mean to “see red”? (Seeing red is emotionalhijacking. We lose the ability to reason, we act out of control,and/or we become unaware of what is going on around us. This is when the Limbic System, the “Emotional Me,”takes over and doesn’t work with the Frontal Lobe, the“Rational Me.”)

• Can any of you share a time when your anger escalatedbecause of what you thought? Because of your physicalactions? What were the consequences? (Explore short-termand long-term consequences.)

Have students complete Handout 2.4.3: Attributions Survey.

Let’s look at some situations that might prompt us to feel anger. On the handout, circle the statement that is most likely true in each situation.

Introduce negative attributions and identify neutralresponses.

[Ask students for their responses and the reasons why they chose them.Use active listening in response to their sharing, but don’t counter whatthey say.]

Some of the statements for each situation involve making a negative attribution, which means attributing (attaching) a negative characteristic to someone or assuming that someone has negative intentions.

[Refer to Megan’s thought statement from the previous handout, She thinks she’s better than me, as an example.]

• What are some examples of negative attributions onHandout 2.4.3?

In each situation there is one neutral response, that is, a response thatdoes not show negative attribution.

• Which statement in each situation is neutral? (NEUTRALRESPONSES: 1—c, 2—a, 3—b, 4—c, 5—d, 6—b, 7—c.)

Give yourself a point for each neutral response you circled on the survey.If you have a high score (5–7), then you probably don’t get into manyconflicts. If you have a low score (1–4), then you may experience moreconflict with others.


negative attribution:attributing (attaching) a negativecharacteristic to someone orassuming that the person hasnegative intentions

emotional hijacking: whenexplosive emotions shut off ourcapacity to think rationally


Take a Stand: DoesAnger Increase YourPersonal Power?(10 minutes)

Making negative attributions can lead to aggressive behavior. Whenpeople consistently make negative attributions, we say that they have anegative attributional bias. This means they have a tendency toassume the worst about other people’s intentions and actions rather thanask them what they are thinking.

• Take a moment to think about this: How often do youassume bad things about someone based on the peoplethey hang out with or the way they dress? [Students don’tneed to answer this question.]

Do a take-a-stand exercise to answer the question Doesanger increase your personal power?

Sometimes people make negative attributions to “pump themselves up”because they feel powerful when they are mad.

• Does anger increase your personal power (i.e., make youmore powerful in other people’s eyes)?

Those who think anger increases your personal power, stand on this sideof the room. Those who think it does not, stand on the other side of theroom. [Ask the students on each side to justify their position.]

• When someone “pushes your buttons,” who has thepower? (By getting you to lose control, the other personexperiences power.)

• What are the long-term costs of acting in anger? (Otherslearn to avoid you or won’t be honest or authentic around you.Anger destroys relationships and reputations.)

• What good can come out of anger? (Anger is important torecognizing injustices and spurring positive social change. Whatwould our country be like if people hadn’t been angered byslavery, child labor, or child abuse?)

• Would anyone like to change sides in response to thequestion Does anger increase your personal power? [Givestudents time to change sides if they wish, and then ask them tostate their reasons for the change.]

Assign Handout 2.4.4: What’s Happening?

[Assign the homework, and note that it will be discussed in the nextclass session.]

Have students check in with their spotter, as on thefirst day of this lesson.


Homework

Pass out Handout2.4.4: What’s Happening?

NEXT CLASS

Spotter Check-in(5 minutes)


negative attributional bias: a tendency to ascribe negativecharacteristics to other people orassume they have negativeintentions



residual anger: anger carriedover from a previous experience

Discuss Handout 2.4.4: What’s Happening?

In a previous lesson, we discussed how people sometimes consciouslymask (cover up) one emotion with another—e.g., by smiling instead ofscowling—because they don’t want to show how they truly feel. In thesituations on the handout, the people had underlying emotions that werecovered up by a show of anger.

• What were the underlying emotions? (Selma—frustration,Jason—embarrassment, Alicia—jealousy, Charles—embarrassment)

• Why do you think that some emotions are covered up ormasked by anger? (Emotions may be difficult for people toacknowledge.)

• What is residual anger? (Residual anger is anger carried over froma previous experience. Sometimes it is misdirected at others.)

• Which students displayed residual anger? (Selma, Jason, Alicia,and Charles.)

• Why might people sometimes misdirect their anger atothers? (They don’t feel that they can show their anger in thesituation that originally prompted it; they may not realize thatanger is building up.)

Review and discuss Handout 2.4.5: Defusing Anger.

[Note that the strategies do not have to be done in steps or in order.Students should choose the combination of strategies that works best forthem.]

1. Breathe deeply and slowly. [Have students take five deepbreaths, breathing in through their nose and exhaling slowlythrough their mouth.]

2. Use positive self-talk. [Model self-talk and ask students to role-play self-talk they might use.]

• What are some other examples of self-talk?

3. Dispute negative thoughts and attributions.

• How might the people in the situations on thehomework assignment dispute negative attributions?

4. Remove yourself from the situation.

• Where might you go to be alone and calm down?

5. Take a walk or run. [Note that playing competitive sportswhen angry may cause them to act more aggressively.]

6. Envision a peaceful scene. [Emphasize closing eyes andenvisioning a scene they find peaceful.]

• What peaceful scene would you envision?

Defusing Anger(15 minutes)

Pass out Handout 2.4.5:Defusing Anger.

positive self-talk: thoughts orstatements that affirm yourcompetence in handling a situationand help you look on the positiveside of things

dispute: provide arguments against

envision: create a mental picture


HomeworkFollow-up(20 minutes)

Developing Self-Awareness and Self-Management Module 2 Page 45Copyright © 2009 School-Connect ®

7. Talk about your feelings with an understanding friend oradult. [Note that this works as long as the discussion doesn’tfeed into your negative thinking and escalate your anger.]

• Who is someone you could talk to about your feelings?[Let students know that you are available to discuss theirfeelings, and/or indicate a counselor who would speak with them.]

8. Calmly address your feelings with the people involved,and seek to understand their feelings. [Emphasize activelistening.]

[Ask students to share which techniques they have used or would belikely to try. Share your own experience using one or two of thesetechniques.]

Review the essential questions.

• Have we answered the essential questions?

• What other questions do you have about managingnegative emotions?

Assign Handout 2.4.6: Reflecting on Anger.

[Explain that reflection is a key step in learning to manage emotions.]

Discuss Handout 2.4.6, and ask for voluntary sharing.

[See Writing Window (in Lesson Extensions) for points of discussion.]

Wrap-up(5 minutes)

HomeworkPass out Handout2.4.6: Reflecting on Anger.

HomeworkFollow-up(5–10 minutes)



Literature Link: The Tragedy ofRomeo and Juliet

The young people in this play have little control over their emotions,especially anger. The play implies that these behaviors are passed fromone generation to the next. In this case, the parents have littlerecollection of what the families originally feuded over but have takentheir animosity toward each other and passed it on to their children.Discuss the following:

• What originally caused the feud between the Montagueand Capulet families?

• What sustains the feud?

• What actions and thoughts prompt and escalate Romeo’sanger in Act 3?

• How could he have handled himself differently?

• Juliet is better about taking different perspectives. Howcan you tell?

• How could these two families break the cycle of angerand retribution?

Eugenia Collier’s childhood memoir, “Marigolds,” tells of her mountingfeelings of anger and hopelessness one summer. Have students read theshort story (in The Language of Literature and Elements of Literature)and discuss the following:

• What were Lizabeth’s challenges?

• How did she respond to them?

• What negative attributions did she make about Miss Lottie?

At the end of the story, Lizabeth explodes. Explain this reaction interms of what you have learned about anger. [Discuss residual anger,escalation of anger, emotional hijacking.]

• What positive emotions did anger seem to preventLizabeth from feeling?

Have students write a reflective essay that answers the following questions:

• What are common triggers for your anger? Certain types of events may tick us off more than others. We each have ourown triggers.

• How do your responses differ from those of other peopleyou know? Not everyone responds to the same situation inthe same way. Some of us are born with a low threshold forstressful situations—meaning that we get mad or stressed outfairly easily. Some of us are born with a high threshold—meaning that it takes a lot for us to lose our cool.

Literature Link: “Marigolds”

Writing Window

LESSON EXTENSIONS




Positive Self-Talk

• What thinking patterns do you need to work on? We mayhave learned our patterns for thinking and responding fromthose around us. We can change these patterns.

Ask students to write a list of positive self-talk expressions they can use tohandle the following situations:

• Preparing for a test

• Before giving a speech or presentation

• Before talking with a family member about a problem

• When someone says something that hurts or embarrasses you

Have students discuss their lists in small groups, and then create a masterlist and post it in the room.

Have students create and then describe a place within their homewhere they can go to calm down and reflect before acting. How canthey decorate the space? What would they include in the space (e.g., music, journal, poetry, anger-management steps, list of positiveself-talk expressions)?

Reflection Space




How We Know We Are AngryWrite in the signs of anger.


HANDOUT 2.4.1


Escalation of Anger1) Donna tells Megan she looks “retro” today.

2) Megan perceives the comment as aputdown and a threat to her self-esteem.

3) Megan begins to feel signs of anger.

4) Megan thinks, If I don’t do something aboutthis, everyone will think I’m a chump.

5) Megan thinks, She thinks she’s better thanme, just because I can’t afford clothes like hers!

6) Megan “sees red.” She slams her lockerand storms down the hall, bumping intopeople as she goes.

7) As Megan passes Donna, she tells her shelooks trashy. Donna looks very surprised.

MeganWhat prompted Megan to feel angry?

What do you think Donna meant by “retro”?

What thoughts escalated Megan’s anger?

What behaviors escalated her anger?

What does it mean to “see red”?


HANDOUT 2.4.2

7

6

5

4

3

2

1


Attributions SurveyCIRCLE the answer that is most likely true in each of the following situations.

1. Your English teacher marks up your papers more than your friends’ papers.a. The teacher likes your friends better than you.

b. The teacher thinks you aren’t trying very hard.

c. The teacher thinks you can improve your writing.

d. The teacher thinks you’re a bad writer.

2. A student at the next table stares at you during the entire lunch period.a. The student wants to talk to you.

b. The student wants to fight you.

c. The student doesn’t like you.

d. The student has an issue with you.

3. A friend is chosen for a sports team at school and doesn’t spend much time with you anymore.a. The friend doesn’t want to do things with you anymore.

b. The friend is too busy or tired to do things with you.

c. The friend prefers to hang out with his or her new teammates.

d. The friend doesn’t care that much about your friendship.

4. A friend yells at you when you try to comfort her about her parents’ divorce.a. Your friend is mean.

b. Your friend doesn’t want help.

c. Your friend is upset about her parents.

d. Your friend is an angry person.

5. Your friend is trying to get the attention of a popular group at school.a. Your friend wants to be with them instead of with you.

b. Your friend is tired of you.

c. Your friend is untrustworthy and not a real friend.

d. Your friend wants a bigger circle of friends.

6. Soon after you made the honor roll, somebody tagged your locker.a. Someone is out to get you.

b. You’re unsure what to think.

c. Someone is jealous of you.

d. Someone wants your locker.

7. You’re called into the principal’s office after you watch a fight in the hall.a. The principal thinks you were involved in the fight.

b. The principal thinks you are guilty just for watching.

c. The principal wants to hear what you have to say.

d. The principal is angry and wants to lecture everyone who was there.


HANDOUT 2.4.3


HOMEWORK: What’s Happening?Answer the questions about the following situations.

1. Selma just learned a new dance routine, and her team is performing it tonight at the football game.She is the youngest member of the team, and it takes her longer to learn the routines than it takesthe other girls. She has been biting her nails all week. When Selma asks an older girl at practice toshow her one of the steps again, the girl snaps, “What? You don’t know it? You ought to know it bynow.” Selma doesn’t wait for her to finish, and walks off and into the locker room, hitting lockers onthe way. She thinks, Why is everyone against me? These upper classmen think they’re so hot. Whenher mother arrives a few minutes late to pick her up from practice, Selma snaps, “Why are youalways so late?”

What emotions is Selma probably feeling?

What escalated her anger?

How did she respond to the situation?

Was it an effective response? Why or why not?

How might she look at or respond to the situation differently?

2. In history class, Jason is assigned to a group to work on a big project. His teacher lets other studentsswitch out of their groups but tells Jason he must stay in his group. None of Jason’s friends are in hisgroup. When he complains, his teacher tells him to get busy on the project. Jason mutters, “That is sounfair,” and sits apart from the group. His teacher gives him a detention slip for his attitude. Someother students try to cover their laughter. Jason stomps out of the room and slams the door.

What emotions is Jason probably feeling?

What escalated his anger?

How did he respond to the situation?


How might he look at and respond to the situation differently?

page 1 of 2


HANDOUT 2.4.4


3. Alicia and Randy have been good friends ever since sixth grade. They both play saxophone in theschool band. They have always enjoyed competing with each other, and every so often they wereswitched between first chair and second chair. They each used to laughingly say that they would winback first chair the next week. Now that they are in high school, their new band instructor seems tofavor Randy’s playing. Alicia is currently fourth chair, while Randy is number one, and the teacherrarely lets players compete for chairs. “What do I care?” Alicia says to her other friends again andagain. “Besides, I might go out for choir next year anyway.” When Randy tells Alicia that he’s going toplay a solo in the upcoming band concert, she feels her face flush and thinks, He’s just rubbing my facein it. She tells Randy, “So you finally won. Big deal.”

What emotions is Alicia probably feeling?

What escalated her anger?

How did she respond to the situation?


How might she look at or respond to the situation differently?

4. Some older guys keep making fun of Charles’ clothes. Today, one of them grabs his hat and startstossing it to others in the group. He tries to grab it back and falls on the floor. Someone yells, “Fight!”and Charles reaches over and tackles the guy. Everyone is suspended for fighting.

What emotions is Charles probably feeling?

What escalated his anger?

How did he respond to the conflict?


How might he look at or respond to the situation differently?

page 2 of 2


HANDOUT 2.4.4


Defusing Anger


HANDOUT 2.4.5

Strategy Example Reason

Breathe deeply and slowly (in through your nose, and out through your mouth).

You feel yourself getting hot andtense and your voice gettinglouder. You take three deepbreaths.

Slows you down; sends oxygen toyour brain so that you can thinkmore clearly; provides a chancefor the Frontal Lobe (Rational Me)to kick in.

Use positive self-talk. “Slow down; I can handle this.” Builds personal power throughself-control; decreases yourchance of being manipulated intoa fight.

Dispute negative thoughts andattributions.

“He’s looking at me, but thatdoesn’t mean he wants to fightme.”

Activates your Frontal Lobe(Rationale Me) and overrides yourLimbic System (Emotional Me).

Remove yourself from thesituation.

If you feel out of control, gowhere you can be alone, cooldown, and think.

Provides a chance to cool downaway from the pressure of thesituation.

Take a walk or run. If you feel tense with anger,walking or running will help you torelax.

Physical exercise releases naturalchemicals in your body that causeyou to let go of tension and feelbetter.

Envision a peaceful scene. Think about a peaceful scene youare familiar with, e.g., a park, theseashore, a fountain, a mountainlake, a field or meadow.

Decreases your pulse rate; allowsyou to think more clearly.

Talk about your feelings with anunderstanding friend or adult.

A friend, parent, sibling, mentor,teacher, counselor

Helps you to understand thesource of your anger and how tobest deal with it.

Calmly address your feelingswith the people involved, and seek to understand theirfeelings.

Set up a time to talk after youhave cooled down, and use activelistening techniques tounderstand their point of viewand to express yours.

Discussing your feelings andperspectives increases thechance you will resolve theproblem peacefully.


HOMEWORK: Reflecting on AngerUse what you have learned today, and write about a time when you reacted to a situation with anger.

1. What prompted your anger?

2. What escalated your anger?

3. How did you respond to the situation?

4. What could you have done to defuse your anger?

5. How could you have handled the situation better?


HANDOUT 2.4.6

lesson 2.4 managing anger - school-connect · managing anger lesson 2.4 review of signs of anger (5...

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