the glorious dawn

8/6/2019 The Glorious Dawn

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Part 1: Patterns in the Endless Ocean

Chapter 1

Casual Awakening

There is a peace that nearly overwhelms me whenever Im in wild places. The want

for that peace is what drove me down the path my life has taken over the last several

years and when I stop to think about how I got here, it seems unreal and fantastical. My

life before I took the first steps on that path, from this perspective, seems to be nothing

more than mists on a riverbank. Where that path led me, and what Ive learned on the

way still fills me with sadness, but it reminds me that there are some things worth

fighting to save.

My name is Kieran Peterson. I am roughly 6 tall, 156lbs, blue eyes and mid-length

dark brown hair. My life used to consist of playing music or burying myself in books in

my spare time while not camping or working, and staying as far away from large public

places as I could. I knew only a few people whom I did not work with.

Before my life started to take on notes of the surreal, I was living in a small

Midwest American suburb, and I hated it. Every day was the same thing, like the hands

on some obscene organic clock that kept ticking even after you went insane from the

sheer absurdity of it all. Well, maybe I did go insane. I never like to exclude that

possibility, but I can only relay what I know and what Ive experienced.

During the last year of my time there, an economic crisis was reaching the boiling

point at the national level. Previously, I had always thought economic crises occurring


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that far up the ladder were basically just ways to scare everyone into voting a certain

way, but when I got notice at my job that Id been laid off, I had to rethink my position.

From the first week of joblessness, the city started to take on a new light; I

noticed the weathered and decaying streets, decrepit and abandoned buildings all around

me, and there were homeless people everywhere I looked. For some reason, I had never

noticed any of this so clearly until I lost my job.

I spent that first month trying without luck to secure another job. My house sat

right in between two abandoned and absolutely condemned looking monstrosities, and

one night, towards the end of that first month, a homeless man who had been refuging in

the house on the one side fell asleep with a candle lit; poof. No more house. I remember

running out to the street in the middle of the night, disheveled clothes barely on, and

staring in horror as I realized the flames would spread to my roof very quickly.

So what did I do? I ran back in, frantically collected those things my still fuzzy

mind could identify as critical, and rushed them to a safe spot in the middle of the

street, of all places. I got what I could in three trips, and after the third, the inevitable

happened. Did the fire department show up? No, heaven forbid; my roof accepted the

offerings of the billowing flames only feet away, and I got to watch my former life

literally disappear in black, acrid smoke.

By the time I heard sirens wailing in the distance, all that was left was a

foundation and what little of the frame that had not entirely burned away in the inferno.

The abandoned house at the opposite side had somehow survived without so much as a

bit of heat-curled paint to tell the tale. I was completely awestruck.


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I spent the next week in a hotel trying to come to terms with my circumstances

and formalize some plan to pull myself out of this mess. At the weekend, I grudgingly

accepted the inevitable conclusion that there was no longer anything I could do.

Then a thought occurred to me. Throughout my entire life, Ive felt at odds with

the encroachment of society, a fantasy of mine since I was very young was to simply

walk into the wilderness and go primitive, casting aside the trappings of the modern

world. I realized that this ending provided me with an absolutely novel opportunity to

live that fantasy out, and it sure seemed to beat the alternative of learning the mysterious

arts of urban or suburban homelessness. If I would be homeless, it would be on my terms.

I had a small savings set aside, which I converted into supplies for my adventure,

little sprouts of excitement pushing their way up and out from the ashes of what had

contained my life for the last ten years. I had no illusions that this would be an easy

adventure; on the contrary, I knew there were a great many unknowns involved, and it

would entail a lot of danger, but what use is an adventure if you need a safety net?

When I was ready, I gathered up the supplies I had acquired and neatly packed

them into my full frame backpack, transported them to the back of my beat up truck, and

made my way to the wilderness. I chose this particular stretch of wild on the map because

it reached all the way to the northern edge of the Rockies, given a careful path and a few

brushes with small towns along the way. It was perfect, and I always wanted to live in a

more northern climate. I have no apologies for my preference of winter and snow over

rain and summer.

The drive took me into the mountains, north by west. The further I got into the

wild terrain, the sparser the encounters with people became. I found an abandoned


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logging site some hours after I had seen the last car on the road, so I pulled in and made

my way to an obscured area behind a grove of trees. This was it; I was at the last place I

would ever see my truck. I got out, pulled my bag from the truck bed, shouldered it, and

stared into the endless expanse of rolling trees beyond the road to the west. I had to fight

a sense of trepidation before I could take the first step. The second was easier.

It was January, nearing February when I left, and there was plenty enough snow

to make me question my sanity for starting off in the winter. I knew I couldn't very well

turn back now, though, so I made do with what I had to work with.

I plowed on painfully through the woods for about a week, sometimes stopping

for a while and hunting deer and rabbits or other critters I could find with my old bolt

action .223. I had started to get into a routine, and I fell into a pattern of life that brought

to me a great deal of contentment. It didnt do much for the muscles in my legs and back,

though, as they constantly made me aware of their exertions with anything from a dull

ache, to outright cramps.

In this infinite new world of possibilities, my mind reeled with the knowledge of

where my food came from, where the very air I breathed was generated, how my food

was prepared, and what kind of strange creatures swam in the water in the streams I

sometimes drank from. This new body of knowledge was an expanding book of pleasant

surprises and sometimes disturbing realizations.

Somewhere around the second week of my trip, camped next to a creek for a few

days following an exceptionally brutal stretch of icy madness, the first in a series of

events occurred which would put me on a course towards a radical change in how I

viewed the world.


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Chapter 2

Visions in the Night

I had fallen asleep like a rock that night, worn out from hunting over the course of

the day, then cleaning and preparing the few kills I managed to make. By the time I found

my bed, it had been dark for several hours and a fresh storm was pushing in, sending a

familiar hush across the forest that never fails to give me chills. .

The dream had crept up on me much like the hush had crept up on the forest. It

was as if the border between waking and sleeping had somehow become confused, and I

remember walking through billowing snow and wind among young pines. I stopped at a

clearing in the landscape that reminded me of an air bubble trapped in syrup, so distinct

was the contrast. At the other end of the clearing stood a marbled gray and white wolf,

which I simply stared at in dumb silence. Something was decidedly strange about this

wolf, and as I watched, all became clear to me.

The wolf walked into the center of the clearing, sat down, and looked back at me

with light amber eyes. As I looked on, stupidly mesmerized by this creature in front of

me, a change began. The silence that lay over the trees began to deepen, almost throbbing

and pulsing like a heartbeat and sending a sense of panic to flood my thoughts. I found I

could not force my legs to move as thoughts of fleeing percolated in my mind.


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A few tortured moments of this passed, stretching on until I wanted to scream in

frustration at my inability to make my body respond to my orders. All the while, the wolf

simply regarded me with perked ears and a curious look in his eyes.

What happened next still fills me with a disquieting nervousness to recall. The

wolf spoke. He did not move a muscle, no barking, no discernable mouth forming the

words I heard, yet the voice was most certainly that of the wolf.

Kieran. Do you know who I am? he said.

I was dumbfounded. I processed this scene for a moment, trying to find an

appropriate action to engage this peculiar occurrence with. I could think of nothing, so I

continued staring like some mindless mannequin.

I am the Watcher. I am known as Filtiarn to my people. I have come to you now

because you have brushed the currents of the fabric, making yourself known to me. I saw

you when all the rest of your kind have flittered through the mists, the wolf regarded me

for a moment, giving me some time to process his words in my muted stupor; You are

looking for something, are you not?

I what? my thoughts jumbled gratingly together and I had to force my mind to

slow down long enough to formulate a more coherent reply. The wolf sat patiently,

waiting for me to regain composure, Filtiarn? What fabric did I brush against?

Filtiarn laughed, his voice a deep booming consonance with the pulsing silence

enclosing us, The fabric of the Way that which ties together all sentient beings. You

will understand in time, but right now, we have more important matters to discuss,


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I wasnt sure what to ask first. This wolf was talking in riddles and it just addled

my mind further, Okay, Ill just pretend Im not having a conversation with a wolf, I

suppose. What is it you want from me?

The wolf flicked his ears slightly back and lowered his head with narrowed eyes,

My desires with you are not your concern at the moment. What is your concern is a

choice laid before you. What you seek will be nearly impossible for you to find in your

world. Your people have destroyed what wild places there were, and the waters you will

find around you are filled with poisons, Filtiarns ears now flattened against his head

and he let out a low growl that carried through his words. If you wish to find a bed to

grow roots in, you will have to look elsewhere,

Stunned again, I replied, Its not like I have much choice, though. Why are you

telling me this?

Filtiarns ears remained flat and his eyes focused on me with fire in them, Your

people think themselves lords over everything they purvey. They will hound your steps

wherever you go and you will never be rid of them. I have another way to offer, but it

will not be easy for either of us, his anger had abated a bit, judging by the tone of his

voice and his expressions. When you awake, continue your journey in the same

direction you have been going until you find a path that leads west. If you chose that path

it will lead you to my world, and my people and you will more easily find what you

seek,

I travel on some path through the woods, and Ill find myself on some other

world? Traveling between worlds is something astronauts do. I dont buy it, it sounds too

easy. I said.


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I do not mean to make it sound easy, no. I will pull the thread of your world and

the thread of my world together for a time. There will be trials along that path before you

reach my world, to be sure. You may think of it as a refining by fire to burn away the

chaff and prepare you for what awaits on the other side, a sense of amusement was now

registering in his voice and mannerisms, The first will test you physically and mentally

to prove your endurance, while the second will put you into immediate and extreme

danger, to test your resolve. You may choose not to take the path, and I will find someone

else, but I advise you to carefully consider my offer.

What kind of danger? I said, raising an eyebrow.

Do you think I will offer you a painting with a narration? You will discover that

if you choose to follow the path, Filtiarn said.

Okay, fine. Anything else I should know? I asked.

Little that is pertinent to the journey itself. My people take after myself, as they

are my children. They walk and they talk and they live a very simple life. If you make the

choice to go down the path, I feel it only right to tell you, so you will not be startled when

you encounter them. There is one in particular whom I will lead to you. She will act as

your guide, Filtiarn stood up as he finished speaking, regarded me with another fiery

gaze, then turned and started walking towards the edge of the clearing.

Wait, what? Okay, thats not the weirdest thing youve said so far, but how will I

know her when I see her? I called after him.

Do not ask me mindless questions. She will wait for you at the point of

transition, where the rings arch over the sun, and the stars shine through the morning


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light. Consider carefully what I have said, and if you choose the path, steel yourself for

the trials that wait along it, and with that, he was gone.

The dream faded much the same as it had begun, but it left me in a very fitful and

troubled sleep.

Chapter 3

Echoes in Emptiness

I woke up the next morning with a crushing headache. It felt like the space inside

my skull had been filled with sand and tiny fragments of glass, and I realized that the

only solution to this problem would be to further deplete my quickly shrinking coffee

supply.

The first thing I noticed, aside from the pain in my head, was the fact that my tent

still carried a familiar musk from being stored so long in the shed behind my house. I

guess that smell never quite goes away.

I dragged myself out of the tent with a very deliberate and slow pace. I must have

been out of my mind when I had set the fire ring so far from the tent, and I was paying for

it now by practically dragging myself across the ground. When I finally managed to drop

myself in a sitting position in front of the circle of stones, I realized with a crunching pain


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that I left my kit in the tent, and could therefore not start a fire without crawling back to

retrieve it.

I was thankfully oblivious to the fact that I had just set the pace for the worst day I

have ever experienced.

My morning proceeded in similar fashion as I went about my routine of coffee,

fixing breakfast from my foodstuffs, and settling in front of the fire to plot out what I

wanted to accomplish that day.

It was about noon when I finished striking camp, the headache still lingering at a

much more manageable level. A flash of memory floated across my recollection and

brought forward the dream from the night before.

I decided I would probably take any westward paths I came across, although I

figured doing so on the basis of a weird dream would border on superstitious. That didnt

bother me as I had no particular course or destination set other than a general north by

west, and a western path wouldnt be that far out of line.

//\\//\\

My feet felt like lead, my eyes burned, and I was fairly certain that there was a

stick in my left boot, but I was in no position to stop and find out. I hiked along for the

good part of three hours, taking some degree of pleasure from the landscape of gently

rolling hills and pocked rows of deciduous trees, which I noted had a peculiar

resemblance to skeletal remains, or perhaps modern art. I was much more impressed with

the creativity of nature, however.


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After some time had passed, I was faced with the thing I had not been expecting

to find. There it was to my left; a clear and perceptible path leading due west, bordered at

both sides by the many arms of sprawling, thorny bushes.

Thats when I decided I should check on the stick in my boot. I disembarked my

backpack, resting it against a nearby tree, and began the process of removing whatever it

was that kept poking my foot when I walked. Strangely, I couldnt find anything, and got

some snow caught on my sock before putting my boot back on with a scowl.

I glanced back at the western trail and wondered if I had seriously decided to take

it, feeling the irritating gnaw of superstitious stupidity overriding my good sense. I

decided that the only way I could shake the feeling was to hazard the trail, and so I re-

embarked my things and turned west.

The forest changed gradually from deciduous to coniferous as I trekked along the

path, and something inexplicable also gradually changed that at first I thought I was

imagining.

Looking around at my environment, it was clear that the temperature had started

to rise, and was now above freezing. Snow was melting into trickling streams, all

searching for the path of least resistance as they flowed down the hills while the trees

were making ominous cracking sounds from all around me as they thawed. The noise of

it all started to come together into a near cacophony until I emerged into a wide expanse

of plains.

Picking up my pace a bit, I wandered into the clearing, trying not to slip around

too much on the wet mush underfoot. The forest had given way to miles of clearing as far

as I could see which struck me as a flat contradiction to what I had determined of this


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areas geography prior to starting out; the hills should only increase gently until I reached

the Rockies, especially given a western heading.

I came to a stop and closed my eyes tightly for a few moments trying to squeeze

the lingering soreness out of them, then opened them to scan around again, as if that

might somehow bring back the hills and woodlands. No such luck, the plains were far

more stubborn than I was. I chalked up the sudden change to an oversight on my part; it

must have been an anomaly I overlooked in the area. I returned to walking along my

western path.

As time edged along, so the temperature also increased. Another peculiarity

became apparent, as well. By this time, it must have been three or four P.M., and the sun

should have begun dipping close to the horizon due to the equinox, but, as if to one-up

the landscape, it remained stubbornly fixed in the center of the sky.

Things were graduating to the weird end of the scale. Hoping to rest for a bit and

figure out the cause of this madness, I made my way towards a small group of trees that

broke against the endless flat that gulfed out in every direction. When I finally arrived

after an impossibly long effort over the mess below my boots, I pulled a fallen log out to

serve as a seat, hung my pack on a thick branch nearby, and prepared to make myself a

little fire to dry off beside before continuing on in this ice rink. My mood was declining

along with the level of sanity around me as I came to realized that making a fire is next to

impossible when everything around you is a slushy soup of earth and rotting vegetable

matter. I remained obstinate and did everything I could think of to get my little bundle of

loose shredded bark and cottony fluff to take a spark. It was a failed effort before I even


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started, and I could feel the frustration digging in and embedding its tentacles deep inside

me.

I sat back against my log, drooping there to steam in the futility for a while as I

stubbornly willed the sun to get back to work and stop slacking off. It predictably ignored

my mental demands, and I let out a sigh and closed my eyes, hoping Id wake up soon to

find this was just another twisted dream.

Three hours. I had been here, sitting in an inconsolable stupor for three hours. The

sun was still exactly where it had been three hours ago, and the plains were still exactly

the same as they had been three hours ago, and I was the only feature in this landscape

which had shown any variability. I was deeply and truly fuming now, and not just mildly

irate, thus demonstrating my great ability to adapt. I could feel my pulse at my temples as

I slouched against my coat, taking some comfort in the fact that the snow and ice had at

least melted away and it would likely be easier to walk across the plains now. That didnt

help me feel better, though, given that the sun remained in its resting place in the center

of the sky, as if to spite me for reasons I did not know.

It was also growing unseasonably hot. I estimated the temperature to be around

fifty-five degrees Fahrenheit and still rising by the minute. Everything added up to a very

uncomfortable change in climate for me.

With my brows furrowed, I stood up and took my jacket off, wrapping it into a

bundle and shoving it into my pack before donning the lumbering thing to my shoulders

and marching off to the west, towards whatever new bizarre twists would await me there.


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My frustration started giving way to a gradual acceptance of the facts I was being

presented with, and resignation slowly took over where irritation once was.

The landscape was ultimately boring. So boring in fact, that I struggled to

maintain my senses as a very random feeling of agoraphobia started to creep into my

mind. The flatness! They dont call it a plain for no reason. There were literally no

features as far as I could see in front of me. An imbecile could paint it with water color

and stubby fingers and still do justice to the qualities of monumental emptiness that had

swallowed me. I wanted trees! Mountains! Discernible features!

At the seven hour mark, the mind wrenching flatness started to give way to trees

again, and the urge to somehow drown myself in the sea of brown began to abate in a

surge of relief. The temperature remained locked in its upward trajectory, though, which

was something I understood to be an impossible reality, and it now felt more like sixty-

five, pushing seventy Fahrenheit.

As soon as I came to a suitable spot, I set my pack down and collapsed into a pile

in front of the nearest tree, exhausted and drained from the maddening ordeal I hoped was

closing to an end. I really should have known better, though.

While I lay there, I closed my eyes and remained still for some ten minutes, just

reveling in the wonderful shade of the tree, thinking that I had never appreciated the way

an object can break up the light so much as I did right then. It slowly dawned on me that

the light levels were fading, and the shadow I rested under was deepening. I sat up and

surveyed the area, and sure enough, the sun had finally given up its strike and allowed the

most glorious sunset I have ever seen in my life to blossom over the western sky. I sat

still, entranced by it for what must have been half an hour; the colors were staggering


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yellows, reds, hues of purple and violet, like an explosion of visual poetry to make up for

the dull monotony of the plains. I felt a pang of sorrow as it started to fade against the

settling night sky.

After the darkness of evening fell, I found myself still facing the west, absolutely

mystified by that magical sunset. I was resolutely happy for the first time since choosing

to take this western road, and I had come to terms with the fact that austere struggle was

not without its unexpected rewards.

I set up camp and fell into a restful contemplation before finally allowing myself

to sleep a very long and uneventful night away.

Chapter 4

The Glorious Dawn

So far, this adventure seemed to me more like a psychotic break than anything

real. I have always prided myself as a skeptic of grand claims to the supernatural, and

here I was in a mystifying circumstance that seemed to fully embody the fantastic. It took

some time to fully integrate what happened after I took my first steps along that western

path, and I still struggle to understand who and what Filtiarn is.


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That last night may have been uneventful, but just before dawn when I felt myself

bordering on consciousness, the same dreamland crept up on me as the night before. I

again found myself staring out into the same clearing, at the same wolf.

It was different this time. Before, Filtiarn had radiated a determination and fire

behind his words and actions. The wolf before me, undoubtedly the same I remembered,

appeared to be a pallid reflection of the noble creature I spoke with before. He looked

exhausted and moved very slowly, as if arthritic pain gnawed at his joints, and his voice

was much more subdued when he spoke.

Kieran, I am glad your journey finds you here. I wondered if you would take the

western road when you came upon it. Have you any thoughts about why I have chosen

you? Filtiarn lay on a rise in the snow, his eyes weary as he watched me from a distance.

I can tell you honestly, I have no idea. I was hoping you could shed some light

on that for me, I studied his features, noticing his coat was frayed and matted in spots,

and one front paw remained curled beneath him. Are you alright? You look like youve

been through hell.

I told you it would not be easy for either of us. Pulling the threads of our worlds

together has taxed me and I should be glad to have it done with soon. I know you have

questions about that. I recall you were confused about how the path to my world works.

Have you yet any thoughts on that subject, then? Filtiarn lifted his head from where it

had rested and met my gaze with a probing look.

I feel like it might have something to do with the curvature of space, maybe?

Like wormholes, or black holes? Honestly, I was beginning to wonder if I hadnt gone

mad and the whole thing wasnt a hallucination, I chuckled nervously.


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You feel rightly. Your own thinkers and sages have taken a step along

understanding such phenomena, but I have walked the path directly. They content

themselves to idle conjecture, because it is all that is within their grasp to do, but they

have formed some vague concept of the nature of the cosmos, his ears flicked rapidly a

few times.

Good, so a talking wolf assures me Im not hallucinating. I was afraid youd tell

me this trip was the result of magic and voodoo and mystical spirits that would devour

my kidney if I displeased them, I said.

Not mystical spirits, exactly, but the creatures you will find over the next day

may well eat your kidney if you do not take care as you walk among them, Filtiarn had a

momentary bristling rush across the surface of his coat as he spoke, ending in him

shaking his head with a paw crossing over his muzzle to swat at some unseen annoyance.

I took a moment before I replied, What?

I told you there would be danger in the last trial before the transition is complete,

did I not? You will see it soon and I do not wish to give you further details. I have little

time to speak, so I will be brief, He said, slowly pushing himself to a sitting position, I

wished to show you that I share in your adversity, to reassure you that I have not simply

set you to a difficult task as I stand idly by and watch. You must be curious about why I

have gone through this trouble, and I will give you some limited measure of satisfaction

in that regard, if you wish me to,

Yes, please. I wondered why you were doing this, I said.

I do have a purpose for my actions. It may be hard for you to understand until

you have seen it yourself, and even then I am curious what you will make of it. Your


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people also exist on my world, and that is why I have sought you out, his ears were

directed behind him and his eyes narrowed, My children have become more threatened

over time and a conflict is brewing between they and your people. I saw in you one who

might intercede for me and help restore some form of balance,

This statement did not fully sink in until much, much later. It seemed to dimly

register in my mind at the time, but the full implications of what it meant were utterly lost

on me. I replied, Okay, Ill try to help if I can,

The sounds of the wind sang softly in the background and the trees were utterly

beautiful in the surreal landscape. I only then came to awareness of a soft blue glow

blanketing the world around us, hinting that the sun was nearing the edge of the horizon

to the east. Filtiarn and I watched one another in a comfortable silence for a while, the

anticipation of dawn a tingling static in the air.

Seeming to sense my thoughts, he said, You will find that new dawn soon,

Kieran. Until then, I leave you to continue your journey. Keep to your courage like a

close friend and you will come to the other side unscathed. Farewell. Filtiarn raised

himself and turned around. I watched him leave the clearing in silence.

As I awoke, the transition between the dream and the world around me was

seamless. The light was rising in shades of murky navy blue as can only be seen in the

early hours of the morning, just as the sun is coming into the new day.

Awareness began unfolding first with the recognition of the winters return; the

temperature settled back to a more comfortable range some twenty degrees below

freezing and the wind blew softly through the branches of the conifers around me,


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they do burn, they burn much less hot, and much more rapidly than harder woods. I was

stuck at the edge of what I could already tell would be a harrowing and frantic

experience.

It did not take long for me to get a pitiful fire burning. I had gathered up some

larger logs and branches, but I was trying to carefully nurture the fizzling flame to

gradually accept the larger pieces. The wolves were getting closer, it seemed, as the

occasional howl would announce their approach from all directions.

I saw the first wolf approach from the south, just a brief glimpse from my

peripheral as I finally managed to get the flames built to a level that provided some small

relief from my growing anxiety. He darted deftly between trees, hungry eyes glowing in

the reflection of the fire.

The next encounter found the forms of two wolves dancing and darting as if to

coordinate their approach from the east, and I could feel my safe zone being pushed at

from multiple fronts. A frighteningly close howl erupted from the west, and I realized

that I was most definitely in trouble.

I hastily busied myself with gathering as much firewood as I could manage,

throwing it in a disheveled and chaotic pile just feet from the fire, feeling at all times the

constant presence of many malign eyes around me. My attention was torn so tersely

between finding usable fuel and keeping track of my furry adversaries in the distance that

I would startle whenever the fire spit and crackled unexpectedly. I was a mess of exposed

nerves being constantly stimulated by jarring shocks.

After some time of this, the wolves ravenously circling and making their presence

felt from a distance, I knelt down in front of the fire, taking my rifle in a clammy grip as I


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attempted to monitor the entire radius of the fires light at once. I didnt want to hurt the

wolves, as they are just wild animals and I appeared to be potential prey to them, but I

was not afraid to do so if pressed hard enough. I have never liked pointlessly killing

living creatures, and will still push the limits of my endurance to avoid doing so.

An hour passed with the wolves inching ever closer in their circle, when one wolf

in particular came to stop some twenty paces from the fire, regarding me with forward

ears and a disturbing snarl. This wolf was larger than the others, and I realized he must be

the alpha of the pack. He was most certainly an impressive beast with marred black, gray

and white fur standing at attention along raised hackles, slightly crouched with his head

tilted forward, eyes fixed on me.

I raised the rifle into the air and let out a warning shot, which sent him scattering

back towards the edge of their circle.

There were a few more tense moments like the last over the course of the hours,

as time ticked on towards dawn and my fuel supply quickly dwindled down. When the

woodpile was near totally depleted, and I felt certain that this was going to be the

culminating point of the encounter, I noticed that the ambient light had begun to increase

hinting at the suns imminent rise, giving me a bit of hope that I wouldnt soon be torn to

shreds when the fire extinguished.

In that moment of distraction, the alpha saw a weakness in my defense, the fire no

longer eliciting the same level of fear as it had been, and he charged at me from the side.

I swung around just in time to deflect the brunt of his weight against the rifle and send

him rolling into the fire, embers flying in a painful barrage through the air, obscuring his

location as he whined sharply somewhere in front of me.


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I held up my rifle defensively while trying to determine his location and monitor

the peripheral for any opportunistic advances from the rest of the pack. He walked out

from behind a tree, just ten feet away from where he had landed, a charred patch of fur

running along his flank and side. He slowly edged towards me with a vicious snarl

curling around his white, exposed teeth. I snarled back instinctively and advanced a step

myself, which caused him to pause, not expecting the reaction. He glanced around him,

tentatively, and then fixed me with yet another murderous stare.

I raised my rifle to the sky yet again, and let off another round, causing a shock to

send him jumping back a few feet as his ears rolled down and a timid streak broke across

his expression momentarily. I resisted the urge to take aim at him, seeing some flight

reflexes building on his features. Screwing my face into what I assumed would appear a

threatening display of exposed teeth and furrowing brows, I advanced a full three steps

while snarling loudly at him, and his will broke, sending him rushing off back into the

forest, his pack in tow.

I stood there, watching them filter quickly through the trees, in utter shock as I

had not expected the last effort to be even marginally effective. I fell to the ground and

leaned back against a tree, shaking visibly as my body refused to unclench. I sat the rifle

next to me and waited for composure to find me yet again. I was unable to move for an

hour as I sat there, rattled to my core and unsure what to do.

When I finally found my composure and continued my journey, the dawn was

well under way, casting hard lines of brilliant orange and contrasting shadows across the

forest floor. I reached the edge of the woods and walked a ways into the clearing beyond,

then turned around to witness a spectacular sight before me.


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The dawn had crested in a dome of radiant orange and red, and wreathed around it

was a dancing spiral of blues and greens, much like an aurora borealis in far northern

climates. Above that radial boundary, there could be seen all the stars of the night sky

burning brilliantly in a transparent and weaving band that stretched above and beyond me

to the west, ending on the opposite horizon. I lowered myself down to sit with legs

crossed in the middle of that field, watching the dawn expand its majesty across the area

above the line of trees I had just exited, and I felt an overwhelming awe fill every inch of

my being.

This was, indeed, a new dawn.

Part 2: Learning The Art of Being

Chapter 5

A Sign of Change

I remember the things that had always driven a wedge between me and society.

The never ending wars, genocide, different groups bludgeoning each other and killing

one another for control and advantage, these things could happen in any country, at any

time, and they could be done for what a population might believe were noble and just

causes. Each group in a conflict thinks their side is justified, they think theyre doing


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something important for their continued survival, or to help better the world, or any

number of other vital and important reasons. I think the same is basically true for any

group of mortal, sentient creatures anywhere in the universe.

I remember that first day on this new world, as I sat in that field gazing at the stars

and the shimmering lights, I understood what an insignificant speck I was compared to

the grandiose and impossibly rich cosmos before me, spanning out in a tangle of

interrelations. There were billions upon billions of stars all governed by the same

fundamental laws and the awesome power of nature. It was maddening to think that, in

relative terms, the entire duration of my life would not even amount to a fraction of a

fraction of the time that the light from those stars would takejust to reach the place I sat,

gazing back at them.

Strangely, I felt a little like Huckleberry Finn at that moment.

I wasnt sure how long I sat there, or how long the scene remained in clear view, or

even when I fell asleep under those amazing lights, but I know I woke up around mid-day

and the sky had returned to a typical overcast, winter haze. I recalled that someone was

supposed to wait for me at the end of the path, but there was nobody in sight.

After some deliberating over the absence of any further trail to the west, I decided to

make camp in the meadow outside the ancient pines. I had a small remaining supply of

dried meats and even about a weeks supply of coffee left, so I set up the tent and built a

fire ring, then glanced at the pine trees. I smirked.No more pine wood.

I walked to the western edge of the meadow, noting some deciduous trees here and

there, and I looked for the driest hardwood I could find. When I had a small bundle of

wood and a fire, I settled in, waiting for my cup of coffee to brew.


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I went to sleep that night wondering if the girl Filtiarn said would meet me had

gotten lost, or if I had gotten lost and she was waiting where I should be.

//\\//\\

Morning broke. I stirred from sleep and was greeted by a very strange smell wafting

into my tent. It was a smell of spiced meats cooking over a fire. I scratched my head in

confusion, trying to sum up the energy required to get out of bed and investigate the

strange aroma. I heard a clank, clanklike pots rattling outside and rapidly found the

energy I was looking for.

I hastily pulled my jacket on and unzipped the tent, coming face to face with the girl

who would come to be the most important and special person in my brief, miserable

existence.

She was next to the fire ring, regarding me with a look bordering on malice and

holding a pan. I froze, half out of my tent, looking back at her with wide eyes and a look

much like a floundering fish.

She was about six inches shorter than me, petite, covered from head to toe in a

smattering of red, white, black, and gray fur which reminded me of a red wolf I once saw

back home. Her face had an appearance close to human, despite the presence of a short

muzzle, and she had a distinctly canine set of ears and a bushy white tail, peppered with

pinpoints of red and gray. Her eyes had a blend of amber and silver hues that struck me


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as absolutely breathtaking, even filled with the unmistakable desire to hurl something

heavy at my head.

Well, are you going to come out already? Ive been here for hours waiting for you

to get up, she said, angry eyes still regarding me as her ears flicked back.

I got to my feet and cleared my throat, Sorry, Ive had a crazy time over the last

few days. I must have overslept. My name is Kieran, by the way, I said, walking over to

offer her my hand.

She looked down at my hand, tilted her head to the side and said, You humans are

all strange. Filtiarn may trust you, but itll take more than an outstretched hand to make

me trust you, she turned away and set the pan she was holding onto a log next to the fire

before sitting down and glancing back at me, My name is Saisha,

Its good to meet you Saisha, I said, a little unsure how I should act, but relieved

that she was no longer holding the pan. I sat down on a log at the side of the fire opposite

her, So what happens now?

Well, I think we should find a safe place to stay for a while until we can figure out

what Filtiarns cryptic plan for us is, Saisha said.

I would definitely agree with that idea. Before we decide anything else, though, I

have to ask you something, I said, casually prodding a log with my foot, You talk about

Filtiarn as if youve spoken to him. What exactly is he to your people?

Her ears flattened partially back, Only a few of us ever talk to him, but hes the

guardian of the Hraak people, our father. And yes, I have spoken to him. How else would

I know where to find you?


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I nodded, That makes sense. Id like to hear a little about this world, and Id like to

know more about you. Why do you think Filtiarn chose you to guide me?

Filtiarn came to me because my home, my clan and our ancestral hunting grounds

were all razed to cinders by the coastal humans shortly before you arrived here, she gave

me a level stare as she continued, I feel like hes playing a cruel joke on me, but Ill trust

him and give you the benefit of the doubt.

I was put off by her blunt admission and I gazed into the fire for a few moments.

Im sorry.

You've nothing to be sorry for. The people of Stragas had been intruding on our

territory for over two years, her eyes dropped to the fire, ears relaxed and tail still. We

should go to the clan my brother lives with. Its not far, and we can figure out what to do

from there, she said.

Alright, you know this place better than I do, I replied.

She hesitated for a moment and added, Filtiarn suggested I introduce you to our

way of life, but I think my people might not appreciate your presence.

I glanced at the frying pan she had wielded, remembering the smell that had woken

me, I thought I smelled something cooking out here. Before we jump up and start

walking, do you think I could have something to eat?

//\\//\\


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Saisha and I spent a few tense hours in the camp having breakfast and talking a bit

about the circumstances we were both participants in. I discovered that she tended to

greatly distrust humans, and I also found myself strangely sympathizing with her.

I was adapting to this change fairly well, now that I look back at it. Its as if the

unreal nature of many of the situations I was confronted with had smashed the part of my

mind that learned to interpret reality according to my previous experience, enabling me to

embrace the most bizarre situations with ease. At the point where I met Saisha, I would

probably have been comfortable if a tree got up and walked into my camp to complain

about my use of dead wood to make a fire.

After breakfast, Saisha sat and watched me strike camp with a smug expression on

her face.

When everything was put away, we began our long hike north to the village. The

wind had picked up, and there were hints of a big storm blowing in from the west, which

filled me with unease. Saisha didnt show any outward signs of concern, and we barely

talked for most of the hike.

After we had been traveling for a number of hours through sparsely wooded hills,

the first part of the storms assault began. The wind picked up much faster than I

anticipated, driving a howling fury around us and pelting us with small, hard chunks of

snow. This bothered me as I have no dense fur to absorb the impacts. Saisha, on the other

hand, didnt seem perturbed by the projectile snow or the fierce wind, and I tried to hide

my discomfort.

After half an hour of this, she turned to regard me in my misery and shouted, Lets

find shelter!


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I nodded quickly.

We pushed into a dense strand of deciduous trees to the west, walking directly into

the onslaught of wind along the way, dimly raising the specter of frostbite to my mind.

Saisha acted as if she knew every nook and cranny of the landscape, and effortlessly

found a cavern amid a small up thrusting of rocks at the center of the trees.

I flopped against the wall of the cavern, infinitely relieved to no longer be walking

in the storm, and watched Saisha as she stood at the mouth of the cavern, looking out at

the vortices of wind and snow that danced around trees.

A few minutes passed by in silence. Saisha turned and walked towards me, kneeling

down in front of where I sat, I know your people dont take the wind as well as mine do

and I had expected you to complain. Ive been with other humans through less and they

always break. You did not, her eyes only modestly broadcast her desire to hit me with

something. I took it to be a good change.

Id like to know why folks keep testing me. I feel like a caged rat, I said.

She chuckled, Rats have fur.

Good point, I conceded.

I glanced around the cavern; the walls were granite and roots grew through the rock,

acting as a natural frame. The ground was piled with pebbles and stones of varying sizes,

and the air smelled fungal.

I want to tell you a story. It may help you understand things better, She said, still

kneeling close to me.

Okay, Im listening. I said.


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Long ago, before my people came to be, a solitary fox stalked the land. The fox

cried to the heavens because he didnt understand why he must struggle for his living,

she picked a rock off the floor and began flicking the soil from it, regarding it as she

talked, The wolf appeared before him and told him that by struggle, his living was

assured, and to stop struggling would be to yield to nothingness. If the heavens provided

for the fox, and simply gave him what he needed without any struggle, the fox would not

become stronger for it. The fox would cease to be a fox,

She turned her attention from the rock and looked at me, The fox is defined by the

life he lives. Foraging for food, digging a burrow, fighting off the predators that would

steal his life from him, she set the rock to the side and continued, When the fox has his

life provided for him, he becomes what the provider wishes him to be. Do you

understand?

I think so. Youre saying that the fox is what he is because his struggle builds him

into what his nature should be, right? I said.

Yes. This is why you are tested, she replied, then got up and walked back to the

mouth of the cave to gaze out at the trees once more in silence.

I thought about what she said and was reminded of the domestic dog. The dog

evolved from wolves, which most sane people would consider very threatening creatures,

yet dogs are considered mans best friend thanks to the changes domestication has

brought about in them.

I admired Saisha in that moment. She was not a domestic dog. She was a wolf. I

wondered what I was.


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//\\//\\

The cave became a second camp for us. Saisha and I went out to collect wood in the

scattered wind, and we made a small fire near the mouth of the cave before sitting down

to eat some dried meat I produced from my pack.

The storm continued raging, muted by the surrounding forest, for what must have

been five hours. When it passed, the sun had settled in the west and the moon cast

shadows among the trees.

Saisha was itching to leave, so I obliged her and took up my backpack to follow her.

We followed the trail north under the moonlight and stars, through the chill air which had

become silent in the wake of the blizzard.

When we finally reached the village outskirts, I almost mistook the area for

wilderness. The only discernible trait I could pick up was the presence of rustic wooden

fencing bordering fields. Each of the dwellings were constructed underground and

concealed so well that I had taken them for rolling hills. On closer examination, each of

the mounds had an entrance near to it, and a small chimney poking out of the top. There

was very little consistency of shape from one mound to the next, which broke up the

visual field and helped to obscure the village from unwary eyes.

We approached the entrance to one of the mounds and Saisha let out a long,

mournful howl, which caught me off guard and sent a shiver through my body as I

recalled my night among the ancient pines. In response, the doorway in front of us


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opened, revealing a Hraak male who shared many of Saishas markings. We were waved

inside.


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Chapter 6

A Gift Of Very Small Things

Deoxyribonucleic acid. DNA. This stuff can be traced to the formation of stars.

The universe itself is a monolithic place, but DNA is equally monolithic. It is the tree of

life spanning backwards to the formation of the universe. I suppose thats why I have no

problem accepting that two distinct species which so greatly resemble creatures from


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Earth can develop on a single world so far away from Earth. Its a reverberating breath

through a jarringly large universe.

Saishas brother is named Triz. He's ten years older than Saisha at 34 years. He

stands near my height, has many of the same features as Saisha, aside from a more amber

tone to his eyes and a bulkier build. Kylie is just taller than Saisha, and 33 years old. She

has a coat of dark brown, tuckered fur, and a persistently good nature that shows through

her features.

Their home is very ascetic but also inviting. There are three rooms in total. The

larger common area is the only place a door can be found: at the entrance to the cottage.

Along one wall in the common area is a plain fireplace and spit for hanging pots to boil,

or roasting game. There is one table in the cottage, no windows, and no storage places

except for a number of benches along the walls that serve as beds for tools, all of which

are made by the resident smithy. The other two rooms are parallel along the back of the

first; two smaller caverns dug into the dirt with a modest frame of steam-shaped trusses

to keep their form. Between the two rooms, at center along the back wall, there is an

entranceway that leads to a common passage running between all the cottages in the

village, and providing access to communal storerooms and a meeting hall at the end.

One of the recessed rooms is empty. The other, Triz and his wife Kylie share. The

close quarters of the back rooms contain no beds, and no furnishings save for furs and

deer hides. Throughout the entire underground village, there is a lingering smell of

animals, dried and cooked meats, and spices hanging haphazardly along walls.

The first few moments in this new atmosphere were both a welcome relief from

the cold, and a culture shock.


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Fine, Caldern was burned by men from Stragas; most everyones dead and I had

hoped my own brother wouldnt pour salt in my wounds when I asked for help, Saishas

eyes were narrowed and her face contorted in a snarl. There was an interlude of silence in

the room as Triz absorbed what she said.

And you brought him with you after what his kind did? Triz said, staring hotly at

her and gesturing sharply at me, Damn Filtiarn and all the heavens if they expect me to

open my home like that.

Kylie, during all this, was trying to be as unobtrusive as possible. I was also

silent, but my silence was contemplative; I was trying to figure out if I would rather sleep

in the woods. I had already spent one night among vicious wolves, I didn't need another.

Saisha stared straight ahead at Triz with anger radiating off her in waves. After a

few moments of this, she echoed my thought, Fine, if you won't have us, we'll go sleep

outside. I dont shirk my duties when Ive taken them, so I go where Kieran goes.

She got to her feet and looked at me, the fire in her eyes momentarily easing a bit.

I got up as well, and we walked towards the door.

Wait, Came Triz's flattened voice just moments before Saisha touched the latch.

Saisha gave me a secret grin then spun her attention on Triz, What, want to curse

the day I was born, now?

The both of you sit down, He said, yielding, You made your point.

We moved back to the table and regained our seats after a brief hesitation.

Well? Saisha said.

You can both of you stay. I'm sorry to hear about your clan, Triz said, Well

have to go to the Elders about it when we can.


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Siblings, I thought, trying not to roll my eyes.

I noticed that Kylie was regarding me with a knowing smile. I gave her one back.

//\\//\\

That first night was spent in a catatonic state for Saisha, or so it seemed. I know

because I hardly slept at all. I was laying some twelve inches away from her, wondering

how anyone could possibly sleep in such confined quarters. I eventually did fall asleep,

but it lasted a short few hours and did not leave me in the clearest state of mind.

Inevitably, I had my sleep pulverized when Saisha woke. She had been dragged

from slumber by Triz, who had been awakened by Kylie, who had gotten up to start

breakfast. It was a very functional alarm clock made possible by the lack of doors or

isolated spaces within the cottage.

Over the day, I learned that privacy was a non-sequitur within the village, and one

that I found to be stacked against me. The occupants of the little cottages all possessed an

intrinsic ability to smell a deer a mile away, and they knew the locations and activities of

all the other occupants of the village without even leaving their own spaces. I, on the

other hand, was the odd man out; I had the intrinsic ability to completely miss the smell

of a deer even ten feet away from me, and had no idea what anyone else was doing unless

I could either see or hear them from a close distance. How I resented my simian

ancestors.

At noon, while wandering the common area of the village and getting the lay of

the land, I had my first introduction to the village cubs. They were making chaos through


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Saisha had crept up on me some time before the kids ran off. We both sat down

by the door to her brother's cottage.

I noticed you didn't sleep well last night, She said.

When did you have a chance to see that? It looked like you were dead to the

world, I said, laughing.

You'd be amazed. She said, and then added, You didn't seem to be very

comfortable. Do you think you'll be okay tonight?

I suppose. It's going to take some getting used to. I'm curious about what we're

doing, though. Do you have any ideas, or are we playing by ear until something

changes? I asked.

I think we should stay a while and wait. I have a feeling that the sign we're

looking for will come to us. I'm also not sure what else we can do, She said, hesitating

before adding, I didn't show you much patience when we first met. I'm sorry if I seemed

crass, but I was only given a little time to come to terms with what happened to my clan,

and I was angry, more at Filtiarn than you,

It's okay; you had every right to be angry. I paused, thinking about whether or

not to ask the question on my mind. I decided to probe, Would it be too soon to ask what

happened?

No, you have a right to know after I treated you so badly. Stragas had a shaky

truce with Caldern, she sat next to me, studying the walls as she talked, They had sent a

caravan of merchants, nothing suspicious. When the caravan arrived, soldiers were

unloaded from the wagons with barrels of pitch, and they marched through town killing

and burning everything along their way.


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You were there at the time? I asked.

Yes, she looked towards me, shrouded by the shadows along the hall, I was at

home doing some chores when it started. I rushed out my door when I heard the

commotion and yelling, and when I realized what was going on, I ran to the woods to

escape with a handful of others.

At least some of you made it out. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, it

must've been terrible I said, pausing to wait for her to continue.

She took a deep breath, I'm still not sure how to feel about it, how to feel about

whatever it is Filtiarn wants from us or how I should feel about you, but you don't seem

like such a terrible person, and the cubs seemed to like you. That has to say something,

right? She said.

I suppose so. The question is, what does it say? They thought I smelled funny

and looked weird, after all, I said with a grin.

Saisha laughed, Well, you can't blame them. They're constantly in someone's

hair or destroying something. They're young, that's what they do. You do kind of smell

funny, but so do most humans.

I smirked at her, then said, I think we have more things in common than you

might expect, though your situation was much worse than mine was.

Like what? She asked.

When Filtiarn found me, I had just watched my home burn into ashes, as well. I

lost everything I had except my life and a few trinkets. I didn't have anything keeping me

there, so I left it behind me and walked into the mountains, hoping to find a new life, I

leaned forward, looking at her.


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We both sat in silence for a few moments. Saisha broke it. You've found

something, sure. Is it what you set off for?

I don't know. Im still trying to wrap my rattled brain around it, I leaned back

against the wall with my arms above my head, stretching into a deep yawn, Maybe Im

more tired than I thought I was.

Saisha laughed and patted my knee, I'll make sure you're comfortable tonight,

you have the darkest rings I've ever seen around your eyes, you look like a raccoon and I

feel awful for it.

I grinned, Raccoons have fur.

//\\//\\

True to her word, Saisha did her best to make the sleeping arrangement more

comfortable that night. I sat cross-legged at the back of the cavern, against the wall, and

Saisha sat within the opening of the cavern.

Hraak families will often huddle together during winter nights to keep warm.

That's why we have such a small sleeping quarter, and probably why you feel

uncomfortable. I know your people don't do that often. I might not be able to change the

quarters, but I have something else that might help. she said, moving to sit against the

far wall, Clan families sometimes sing to one another if one of them is having trouble

sleeping, and I can do the same for you, if you'll let me.


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That sounds nice, actually, I said, It's not that I dont like the room, or the

company, it's just unfamiliar. I'll get used to it.

She beamed at me happily, I haven't had much reason to sing in a while. I hope

it'll help. Just tell me if it bothers you and I'll stop,

Okay, but I'm betting it'll help. I always used to fall asleep to music back home,

I said, and laid back into the hides that served as bedding, I hope this doesn't mean I'll

have to sing tomorrow, I have a pitiful voice for it, Painful, even.

No, don't worry about that. Not everyone sings. If I ever have trouble sleeping

and you'd like to return the favor, we can figure something out, she said.

She started singing a few minutes after I had settled in. Her voice sent a sweet and

gentle melody through the cavern, the song a chorus of hums and vocalizations without

lyric, and I found myself caught in a twilight land of flows and tides.

I only had brief brushes with consciousness during the night to tell me that she

was sleeping inches away from me again, huddled under the skins with fur brushing

against me, a warming and comfortable peace lying between us.


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Chapter 7

Elders and Adversaries

Kieran, you're pressing it wrong, Kylie said, taking the birch bark I had been

trying to fit into the tin in front of me, and then demonstrating the proper way to roll it.

See, you need make it loose enough to breathe. Its crumbly stuff,

I never figured oil making would be so delicate, I said, as she proceeded to take

the container. I watched her deftly start fitting the papery material inside it.

Not hard, no, it just takes care, she said, her attention focused on her craft.

For the past month, I had been trying to pick up the finer details of village life;

hunting, ice fishing, collecting raw materials for refining, gathering firewood, cleaning,


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cooking, and I was starting to see a pattern of life emerge before me that I never would

have imagined. The entire clan fell together as an organic whole, supporting one another

and working together to make their livelihood assured. They all seemed to authentically

love their work, and their work was done well as a result. Their work was necessary; if

they didn't work, they couldn't live. Yet they loved every fact of it. Even the menial tasks

like sweeping the floor in the main living area were a joy and done with such devotion

that it amazed me.

Because of this work ethic, there was no single person who made meals in the

household. Everyone shared in the task, and the work of preparing food was a particular

pleasure derived by the joy involved in the sharing and eating.

The Hraak sang frequently. Not all of them would do it, but those who did made

life sweeter with their arias. Music, in itself, was a big component of tribal living and

whenever there was a gathering of households, there would be music and singing

spontaneously arising from the clan members. They sang about daily life, about their

history, about their culture, and about themselves and their wants and desires. One could

easily learn the lives of the Hraak just by listening to their songs. It struck me that if I had

tried to do the same thing when I lived in the suburbs, I would have little, if anything

meaningful to sing about.

See what? They fit the tin snug with room to breathe. she handed the container

back for me to examine.

You do this like art. What's next, we put the bigger can in the center of the

fireplace? I asked, recalling she had set a smaller metal container into a hollowed out

recess at the center of the fireplace, building the fire around it.


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Yes, right. Oil dribbles out the bottom of the can and collects there when the

bark smolders. She took the tin from me and placed a metal lid on top, tying it off with a

thin metal twine, then placed the container on top of the receptacle in the fire.

You really do this every day? I asked.

Nay, I dont every day, just when it needs doing. We all train an eye on the oil

stores, and everybody knows how to stock it, she sat down at the table next to me, eying

me with amusement, You learn the craft in it; you'll never be want for oil again, aye?

I really doubt it. It seems a lot simpler than going to someone else and buying it

or trading for it. I said.

There's a lot more you need to learn, and a lot more work needs doing, so don't

get to feeling relaxed just yet, she said with a grin, You'll miss the fun of learning how

to bend wood planks for the ceiling trusses.

Oh, no, I forgot. Does it have to be with Triz? I wouldn't mind learning from

anyone else, but Triz treats me like I'm a half-wit or something, I said.

That's just how he learns about folks. He'll tear you down, but he'll build you

back up, too. He's got a good heart; he's just not good at showing it sometimes. Kylie

said. She turned to acknowledge Saisha as she stood in the archway listening in on our

conversation.

Ive just been to see the Elders, Saisha said, walking in to sit across from me at

the table, They've finished talking things over with one another and want to meet you.

Why do I feel like that might be a bad thing? I asked.


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It wont be that bad. I'll be with you and I'll take care of the formalities so you

won't have that to contend with, she said, her tail's twitching just barely perceptible over

the table.

Im half expecting them to toss me in the crucible, I said while twirling a bit of

bark on the table with an idle finger, That seems to be about fifty-fifty when it comes to

meeting new folks here.

Kylie sat there, her eyes moving back and forth between Saisha and me in

interest.

Saisha's tail twitching was getting a bit more frenetic. People here aren't used to

having a human around for so long. Some seem to take to you well, but others don't, she

said, The elders aren't normally prone to rash judgments. They should treat you better

than others.

Kylie, what do you think? Good thing or bad thing? I asked. She was too quiet.

If I were a stranger, Id think you were married, Kylie replied, suppressing a

grin.

And what do you mean by that? Saisha said, piercing Kylie with a glance.

As I said it. The two of you could go back and forth til dawn, but the Elders will

still be waiting. It's just chasing a rabbit 'round a bush, in the end, Kylie answered.

I grinned. Kylie was one of my favorite people in the village. I think shes right,

Saisha. I was trying to get a rise from you, anyhow. You know I like that crucible; can

you forgive me?


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Saisha smirked, examining the work Kylie and I had just finished, You have

nothing to worry about, my dear little oil maker. I can't be annoyed at you for long. You

look too funny.

You know I'm adorable, I said, still grinning. So when do we go?

Whenever you feel like leaving, we can walk to the meeting hall and see what

they want with you, Saisha replied.

I looked at Kylie, I guess Triz will have to wait a bit. Think I can get someone

else to teach me tomorrow?

Tomorrow's still another day; don't know who'll need trusses shaped. We'll see

how Triz looks at it. Kylie answered.

Alright, we'll catch up here when we're done, I said towards Kylie, as Saisha

dragged me down the hall by an arm.

We don't want to keep them waiting long, she explained, They've spent the last

few days in council about some news from the eastern clans. There were a few war

parties spotted heading west from Stragas. It doesn't sound good.

What do they want to the west of them? I stopped her before we got to the

meeting hall.

They'll try to tempt the clans with their currency trying to use debt like a snare

to control and entangle villages and towns to provide free labor for their syndicates, she

said through a grimace.

Why send war parties for that? I asked.

They send war parties to suppress the clans that resist. I've seen it happen at least

ten times in the eastern folds. If they're moving west, then they're pushing into the


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western trade routes, which will put them here very soon. We need to go in, she gestured

to the meeting hall anxiously.

Okay, lead on, I said.

We walked into the hallway, which was roughly twice the size of the cottage we

were living in; the ceiling was higher and more intricately adorned with art renderings

carved into the shaped wood overhead.

Nearing the end of the meeting hall was a round, wooden table, old and

weathered, surrounded by eight equally old and weathered Hraak men and women. These

were the Elders of the clan.

The Elders are not leaders in the typical sense. They serve as archivists to record the

current natural state of the clan without any manipulation or shaping of that condition.

They also serve to make decisions relating to diplomacy, based on the current state of the

clan. They give advice when needed, and this is how each member of their council is

determined; an elder Hraak known for giving sage advice will be put forward from each

family where one is known to reside. From among themselves, they will put forward one

of their own to serve as representative of the council.

When we approached the table, Saisha gestured to a chair, which I took. She took

the one next to me with a nod.

Elders, this Kieran, the man Filtiarn called me to guide. From my time with him,

he's an honorable man who both respects and wishes to learn our ways. What would you

ask him? I noticed her body was rigid and her tail was tucked around the chair at her

side like a sash.


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One of the men across from us nodded, his arms crossed on the table, Kieran, it's

good to meet you finally. My name is Glyn, and I am the chosen head of the council.

What do you think of our village so far, if I may ask?

I glanced around the room nervously I was never good at public speaking. I

I've enjoyed my time here, I think the culture is amazing and I've learned something new

almost every day since getting here.

I understand you're well enough liked by the people and have a willingness to

learn that's rare among your kind. Saisha, he focused on her, his gruff voice raising a

level, Your family served as the Keepers of Caldern. It's not surprising to us that you

were chosen as guide for Kieran. Yet, what happened to Caldern was a tragedy beyond

measure. Do you feel you're able to rise to the task still?

Saisha glanced around the room at the other silent council members, and then

said, Yes, I think that's why Filtiarn chose me for this role. Kieran and I haven't come to

understand what it means yet, but it seems to be a key to the pairing.

Then you will carry on in that task, Glyn said, Kieran, no doubt you're

wondering why we've brought you here. There are signs that the people, your ilk, from

the eastern state of Stragas have been marching war bands along the land towards the

western mountains over the last few weeks. He paused, waving a gesture toward the rest

of the council, We want you to take on a responsibility that we cannot expect from you;

we want you to serve as a councilor and representative of the Elhynd clan to the Stragas

entourage, if such a thing is needed. Will you honor us by taking that responsibility?


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I looked around at the council circle again, clearing my throat, I will. I was also

asked by Filtiarn to help as a conciliator between your people and my own, and I'll gladly

do everything I can. I'm not sure how much good I can do, though.

All we ask is that you try. As I said, we did not expect you to accept the

responsibility, and that you have accepted it gives us hope. You have shown yourself to

be a rare friend of Elhynd and of the Hraak people. He nodded, looking around the table,

Saisha, you make us proud with your dedication to your charge. You do honor to the

lost, and we thank you.

Thank you Glyn, but it's not necessary. I do what I must, Saisha said.

What you must, no. What's required, perhaps, but you make the choice to do it.

If there are no more questions from you, you're free to return home, this meeting hall is

an onerous place unless you're old codgers like us, Glyn laughed, the sound echoing

from the other council members as well.

Thank you sir, you've honored both of us, and we'll keep our charges at heart.

Saisha said, standing and bowing to the council. I took cue from her and bowed as well.

Thank you for seeing us, stay well, I said, eliciting a stabbing glance from

Saisha. We turned towards the common hall and made our way back to the cottage.

//\\//\\

An hour later, I found myself settling back into a more normal environment and

trying to relax myself from the ordeal with the council, which had wracked my nerves far

more than I thought.


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Triz had finished for the day at the smithy where the truss forming was done and

he was mostly silent, seated in front of the table and prodding at the fire.

Saisha and I sat on the floor at the wall opposite our little cavern, on mats of

leather hides.

You saw the Elders, yeah? Triz asked.

We did, Saisha replied. There's some thinking Stragas will send an envoy or

detachment this way soon, they wanted to ask Kieran to assume a role as diplomat.

Yeah, I can see it. They are the same as he is, that just makes sense, Triz said,

still gazing into the fire. I don't care much for it, but who am I? Not some old bat sitting

at a round table all day plotting.

What are you getting at? I asked, sitting forward.

Well, you're a human, they're humans, and were not. Why are you even here?

Triz turned towards me, You say Filtiarn chose you, but what's he think he'll get from it?

You'll likely run off you too, Saisha, first chance you -

Triz, show some damn respect! If you're going to think that way, keep the

thoughts to yourself, Saisha cut in; body tensing forward and ears perked sharply. I

know where you were going with that and I don't like it.

Triz shot back, What, that you scared off when your home was burning? I

thought you'd get that, you -

Saisha was up in a flash, all teeth and violence, Triz, keep your venom bottled!

You're dishonoring the dead when you spew that kind of filth, as well as yourself.

Triz went back to silently leering into the fire. Kylie was sitting at the end of the

table, visibly aggravated and glaring at her husband.


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The two of you ought to get a bit of air outside to cool off; Triz and I need a

talk, she said evenly, still glaring in Triz's direction.

Saisha relaxed her stance and nodded after a moment of reflection, then offered

me a hand up which I took. She had tension written all over her face as she spoke, Let's

go for a walk.

//\\//\\

Saisha and I plodded through the snow quietly for a while, no particular

destination in mind. She had a downcast gaze and slumped posture, and she kept to a

slow and unguided pace which I matched, walking next to her.

That wouldnt have happened if I wasnt here, Saisha. I'm sorry if I'm putting

stress between you two. I said, finally breaking the silence.

It's not you or me he's mad at, she said, shifting her gaze to me, He's angry

because he's worried. It hurts when he does that, even knowing why.

We continued on silently for a while, step after step putting us closer to a familiar

stream to the west. When we got there, Saisha and I sat on the eastern bank and listened

to the gentle bubbling of water over rocks sneaking through cracks in the ice.

Whats bothering Triz is the idea that Stragas might be reaching even the

western tribes; theyll be here. Hes just as uncertain as anyone about how well survive

if that happens, Saisha said, her eyes still trained away towards the west.

Ive grown to like this village and way of life. It worries me just as much, I

think, I glanced at her. She had a very troubled look on her face.


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I liked that story. When you said the fox has to embrace his struggle to remain a

fox, did you mean that the fox has to choose how to confront that struggle and how it

affects him? I gave her a questioning look, Because if so, that means your memories of

your time in Caldern dont need to define who you are; you choose to make of them what

you will, and you can find new, happier memories to give the old ones purpose.

After a quiet repose passed, she said, Did that just come to you?

I remembered it and thought it might help you feel better. Please tell me it did, I

winced.

She hugged me, leaning to the side and laying her head on my shoulder. I put my

arm around her and pulled her close, I'll take that to mean it did?

She jabbed me with her elbow, grinning, and leaned back into me.

I'm just a poor boy a long way from home, I had to check. I said. The snow

started to fall and our repose lingered.

We stayed by the stream for a while, and then made our way back to the cottage at

the same meandering pace as we had come by. When we entered the little doorway in

front of the mound, we found Kylie and Triz sitting in front of the fire, no longer leering

or glaring.

Back already? Had a nice time, did you? Kylie asked, her typical happy

manners returned.

We did, at that, was Saishas artful reply.

Kylie looked to Triz, and Triz said, I didnt mean a word of it. You know I was

blowing steam, yeah? then looking to me, I shouldn't have brought you into it either,

you know, I was out of place there.


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I spent a lot of time wandering the land around the village when I wasnt working,

stuck in an internal dispute about recent events. I now had to serve the clan as

representative to the unknown and innumerable forces of Stragas, whenever they might

show themselves. I knew nothing about this human culture, I only knew what I had been

told by others, and could not anticipate what the future would hold.

To complicate matters, if a conflict did brew, I had run out of ammunition for my

rifle; it was now a lump of wood and metal, and not much else. I had saved a good deal of

empty shell casings and figured if I could find a way to process gunpowder from charcoal

and natural sources, I could perhaps try to recycle them, but that would be a long shot.

There was also the question of whether I could even bring myself to fire on a sentient

creature, no less another human.

The woods tonight were unusually quiet, and it allowed me precious time to think

clearly and without distractions. Clouds rolled by overhead, breaking the view of the stars

and sliver of moon through the trees.

I came to rest at the edge of a landscape filled with crumbling rock, looking out to

see a solitary wolf there. The wolf was familiar; it looked like Filtiarn. I edged closer,

watching from the cover of isolated boulders as the wolf trained his eyes on me as well.

He sat on his haunches with perked ears facing me.

I stopped, hazarding the question, Filtiarn?

The wolf simply sat there, watching me in silence for what seemed an eternity. I

did the same, despite my inclination to take off in the other direction.

You stayed. How unusual, a voice seemed to permeate my mind from all

around me.


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It is you? I asked.

Yes. Youre beginning to understand what your purpose is. Im here to offer

guidance, Filtiarn said.

What can I possibly do to protect these people? I dont understand why you even

brought me here. Im grateful, yes, but it seems to be a pointless gesture, I said.

It is anything but pointless. Youve already done much for Saisha; you may not

know it well yet, but she relies on you. You are stronger than you realize and your

choices will reflect that nature within you, the wolf remained motionless.

So what should I do? I asked.

You dont need me to tell you what to do. You will follow a necessary path, but

the path will be your own, the wolf bent his head low, looking at me; You will soon

find a face and a name to put to your adversaries. Never forget your courage and you will

find what to do through it.

There are some things that arent clear yet. First of all, what the hell does this

nation of Stragas want with your people? Why are they so aggressive? I asked, stepping

into the clearing.

You should know the answer. They build machines out of living flesh like your

people do; the flesh they use is irrelevant in so much as they can bend it to their will, the

wolf continued his alert gaze towards me, They are not so far advanced in this violence

as your people, though. You have the benefit of knowledge. You also have the benefit of

choosing your own way regardless of what you are asked to do.

What if the tribe is attacked? I asked, You cant expect me to stop them by

myself.


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Youre afraid of loss. Also, you care for your guide and wish to protect her from

that loss. Do I speak truly? his head tilted to the side in a curious way.

Am I that easy to read? Yeah. Saishas lost everything already, she shouldnt

have to experience that again, I said, meeting his eyes.

Then prevent it, Filtiarn stood up, shaking the dust from his coat, Tell the girl

how you feel; she needs to hear what you have to say and you also need to say it.

Wait, why did you choose her as my guide? I asked, taking a step forward.

Because you will show her who she is, as much as she will show you who you

are, he said, then turned towards a row of trees on the other side of the outcropping and

drifted off silently, fading beyond the obscuring woodlands. Confusing as usual.

I stood there for a while after Filtiarn had disappeared back into the woods. What

was I supposed to do now? How would I carry this madness forward? I didnt know.

Finally shaking myself of unease, I walked through the crumbling hills before heading

south, back to the clan.

As I walked with broken rock loose underfoot, I heard in the distance the

questioning, sorrowful howl of a wolf somewhere north of me, answered momentarily by

a near chorus of replies to the south. It brought a smile to my face. I came in time to the

stream Saisha and I had sat at a week before; I was very far north of the exact spot,

though. I turned and followed the stream away from the solitary wolf, and began my

sojourn in the direction of the pack.

When I came around a bend in the little stream, I was met with yet another

unexpected sight; there, in the distance, was an encampment. I saw humans; people

walking around in dingy uniforms of red and green and white. Stragas, I realized after


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watching them for a while. This scene before me confirmed the uneasiness that had held

me all week long. I hoped the wolves would stay far away.

I hid in the trees to the east and watched them, trying to figure out what to do. I

had no weapon save a hunting knife, and no desire to confront or fight them, so I made

the decision to stalk around the camp quietly and warn the people in Elhynd.

The return took three hours of hiking through rocky and uneven country, forests,

and icy fields. When I finally reached the village, the moon and the sun were both in the

sky at once like a confluence of day into night.

The three other occupants of the cottage were already up, two preparing breakfast;

Saisha was cooking, Kylie was at th

the glorious dawn

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