Stock photo courtesy of

Microsoft

Beacon 2013 Winter Edition

Your Mother, as well as my Mother, will

appreciate this one. I thought it was

only appropriate to reflect on these

amazing women in our lives.

I'm sure you've all heard the saying,

"listen to your Mother, she knows best",

and if you haven't... you're welcome.

But I'm not writing to impart sayings, I

want to tell you, this is the piece of

advice I would have listened too.

Especially as Surviving Children, we

have things a little differently than

"regular" kids. You know the ones; the

ones that don't quite know what to say,

when you inform them how you lost

your loved one. While they may care

Listen to your Mother ~Victor Sutherland

and have well mannered intentions,

your Mother is the one that will be there

at the end, no matter what. When she

asks you do something, do it. If not

you'll find yourself in my position, years

later, saying to yourself, "I wish I would

have listened to my mom."

Mostly about school, go to school kids.

If that opportunity presents itself, take it

and dream big; for when you believe,

anything is possible. And after all, they

only want what is best for us. They know

best, trust me.

(Victor Sutherland is a Gold Star

surviving Son.)

Upcoming Events for

Surviving Families

• Date: 12/05/13

Time: 1700-1900

Location: JBLM

Event: Fallen Heroes

Christmas Tree Decoration

Party

More Info: 253-967-7501

• Date: 12/18/13

Time: All Day

Location: Nationwide

Event: Gold Star Wives Day

•Dine & Dial January 22:

Tax issues and filing issues

Survivors face.

Call will be at 8:00 p.m.

Eastern, 7:00 p.m. Central,

5:00 p.m. Pacific

Dial in Number:

1-626-677-3000

Access code:

7681905

The Dine & Dial began at

Fort Leonard Wood for the

Midwest Survivors in

MO/IL/WI/MI area, but the

concept has caught on

and now people in Europe,

Asia, and survivors in

Alaska, Hawaii and the rest

of the U.S. join in. They have

150 phone lines for these

calls.

Thank you, Mark Dunlop!!

• Gold Star Wives 69th

National Convention

2014, Seattle, WA

More Info:

www.goldstarwives.org

"It's not about having the skill to do something. It's about having the will, desire and commitment to be

your best." ~Robert Hernandez

Stock photo courtesy

of Microsoft

running through my mind. With the

radio on Cyndi Lauper begins to

sing “True Colors”. Now I have to

stop everything and listen to Cyndi

and the lyrics, I love this song, it was

used as background music at my

sons’ funeral, brings back so many

memories.

7th Annual Time of

Remembrance ~

Richland WA

Author; Shirley Schmunk

Ryki Carlson has been asking me to

write something about this year’s

Seventh Annual TIME OF

REMEMBRANCE event held in

Richland, WA, the 28th & 29th of

September.

As I set in front of my laptop, with

our “Office dog” begging for

attention, I have so many thoughts

Beacon 2013 ● Winter Edition ● WA State Survivor Outreach Services ● (253) 967-7501

“You with the sad eyes, don’t be discouraged, oh, I realize it’s hard to

take courage, in a world full of people. You can lose sight of it all and

the darkness inside you can make you feel so small.”

“But I see your true colors shining through, I see your true colors and that’s why I love

you. So don’t be afraid to let them show, your true colors, true colors are beautiful like

a rainbow.”

“Show me a smile then, don’t be unhappy,

can’t remember when I last saw you

laughing. If this world makes you crazy and

you’ve taken all you can bear, you call me

up because you know I’ll be there.”

“And I’ll see your true colors shining through. I

see your true colors and that’s why I love you.

So don’t be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

I see your true colors and that is why I love

you, so don’t be afraid to let them show

your true colors,

true colors are beautiful like a rainbow.”

P. 2

Author:

Daniel H. Forsberg

Support Coordinator,

Survivor Outreach

Services

Marysville, Washington.

Why the Safe Survive

P. 3 Beacon 2013 ● Winter Edition ● WA State Survivor Outreach Services ● (253) 967-7501

I’ve heard it said that the reason we human beings tend to recall the bad stuff far more

readily than recollections of comforting thoughts, has to do with the possibility that those

painful “blurts” of memory hold true survival power and may very well be time tested tools for

keeping us alive.

If it is true, then maybe we ought to look at those unwelcome and unrequested, random

recalls of failure and hurt with a little more respect. Perhaps those anxious little shots of shame,

or perhaps embarrassment, or even regret actually help us make better choices when

moving forward into the future. What if those little thoughts can be dissected and shared; and

from time to time even be used to spare some of our loved ones untold measures of misery

and pain?

What an amazing twist of fate! Fully considered, our failures and pain can transform into

“lessons learned” and then count among the greatest gifts one human being can give

another: the ever applicable power of relevant INFORMATION!

Wisdom (as we learn over time) is often about having enough experience not to make a first

mistake first, by simply not repeating an old mistake again. How easy is that? “Man that hurt!

Note to self: Don’t do that again.” Or: “Been there, done that. This time I go around.”

Justly, that first mistake is usually the rightful property of the lean and green “eager beaver”,

joyfully bounding into havoc as a coiled bundle of enthusiasm and confidence, oblivious to

the full force of knowledge represented by the old adage “once bitten, twice shy”.

The “seasoned” beaver works differently of course and unfortunately, the “seasoning” of

experience is often NOT transferable.

We try to train our young to ‘look before they leap”, but ultimately we need their energy and

action; their audacity and luck; their work and passion and offspring and time. We need it all

to survive.

So, we train our children as best we can and then we pray. Their young bodies must leave us

physically as they venture off into a world of hazard and we carry them helplessly in our hearts

none-the-less, as they go out and serve in our interest and theirs.

It is good to be resilient. A sense of humor also helps and it is good to be flexible, because

ultimately training is a human thing. By that I mean sometimes training works well, sometimes it

kind of helps and sometimes it doesn’t work at all.

I hope it is not cynical to say this, but give it enough time and most everything fails: our

leaders, our systems, our structures… you name it, if people built it, then I guarantee that

surprise is in store.

Still, we do what we must. Would the Pilgrims have gotten off the boat if they knew what

waited beyond Plymouth Rock? Would they have even boarded the Mayflower if they knew

of the famine, death and disease which would whittle their ranks down to just a shaken few

after the first winter? Was there even any training available that rivaled the power of their

faith and will in terms of survival?

So, training has its limits and when it comes to survival, there are many factors at play; but you

can count on this: Experience is precious but not necessarily transferable. Second, it is good

to have people around that learn from their mistakes and figure out how to pass the lessons

forward. Finally, don’t ignore the cues from your subconscious mind, they often contain LIFE

SAVING POWER, offered randomly and regularly; with an internal pinch on the cheek, a slap

in the face or a kick in the pants to get your attention!

So the safe survive because they use information and experience as it avails itself; personally,

externally, informally or even mystically. They think, they test, they talk and they act; just like

you. Happy Thanksgiving!

.

P. 3

Beacon 2013 ● Winter Edition ● WA State Survivor Outreach Services ● (253) 967-7501

What I Learned About Life from a Snowman

It’s okay if you’re a little bottom heavy.

Hold your ground, even when the heat is

on.

Winter is the best of the four seasons.

The key to life is to be a jolly happy soul.

We’re all made up of mostly water.

You know you’ve made it when they write a

song about you.

Don’t get too much sun.

It’s fun to hang out in your front yard.

P. 4

Cornstarch Clay Creatures Total Time: 1 to 2 hours

Age: school-age

This is a great "make-it-however-you-like

project.", and is easily taped to the back of

your cornstarch box. It takes about five

minutes to "cook," and the resulting

concoction is warm and pliable and the

perfect consistency for kneading, modelling,

and embellishing with stuck-on odds and

ends. The sculptures dry to a hard, pearly

finish. A cookie sheet covered with waxed

paper can serve as a drying rack (sculptures

take a few days to harden).

What you'll need:

2/3 cup salt

1/3 cup baking soda

1/2 cup cornstarch

How to make it:

In a small saucepan, mix the salt and baking

soda with 1/3 cup of water and bring to a

boil.

In a small bowl, combine the cornstarch and

1/4 cup of water and stir well.

When the salt mixture boils, remove it from the

heat and add the cornstarch mixture. Stir

vigorously for a minute or two to thicken the

clay. Spoon it onto a sheet of waxed paper

and allow it to cool before working with it.

For a downloadable/printable copy:

www.spoonful.com/printables/lady-and-tramp-coloring-

page-and-spaghetti-maze

Lady and the Tramp Coloring Page and Spaghetti Maze

It’s Good to Laugh

What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?

Chicken Spocks!

What cheese is made backwards?

Edam!

Why is Alabama the smartest state in the USA?

Because it has 4 A’s and one B!

What runs but never walks?

Water!

Beacon 2013 ● Winter Edition ● WA State Survivor Outreach Services ● (253) 967-7501

Financial Literacy Resources

Federal Student Aid (www.FederalStudentAid.ed.gov) – U.S. Department of Education’s office of Federal

Student Aid’s website that serves as the source for free information, guidance, and tools for federal student

assistance.

MyMoney.gov (www.mymoney.gov) – The U.S. Financial Literacy and Education Commission’s website

dedicated to teaching the basics about financial education. The site offers valuable information on

budgeting, credit management, saving and investing, financial planning, financial aid, and loan obligations.

Federal Trade Commission (www.ftc.gov) – The Federal Trade Commission’s website to prevent fraud,

deception, and unfair business practices. This site gives examples of key questions to ask when considering a

credit counselor and collects complaints about consumer fraud and identity theft.

Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (www.fdic.gov) – U.S. government website that has articles on how to

become a smarter, safer user of financial services that will protect and stretch your earnings.

The Bad Credit Hotel (www.controlyourcredit.gov) – U.S. Department of the Treasury’s website that offers the

basics to maintaining good credit.

Potential Legal Resources for Survivors

JAG resources for children: Legal services can be provided to children on behalf of a Service Member and

the PNOK in a limited capacity. The Legal Assistance regulation, AR 27-3 paragraph 2-5 persons eligible to

receive legal assistance (8)(a): (8) PNOK (as defined in AR 600-8-1, para 4-1a(20 Oct 94)), executors, personal

representatives, administrators, and legally recognized estate representatives for matters relating to the

settlement of estates of- (a) Active Army or RC service members who die while in a military duty status.

Services are available for a child of a deceased member if the child has an ID card for entitlements; (this

would include legal services. A guardian of a child can always come on behalf of the child for benefits, with

the child's military ID. )

Note: JAG cannot probate estates and are limited to providing general legal advice on the probate process

and giving the client a referral list.

The ABA Military Pro Bono Project (MPBP): "MPBP will connect eligible, active-duty Service Members with pro

bono attorneys to assist with the resolution of civil legal issues. Referrals are made only by military legal

assistance (i.e., JAG) attorneys. If you need a referral from the MPBP, this referral must come from a legal

assistance office. Individuals cannot contact the MPBP directly for a referral. If someone needs legal help,

they should contact their legal assistance attorney, and he or she will determine whether they should be

referred to the MPBP. Many referrals are based on a "needs" test. For example one must be financially need

based) eligible for an MPBP referral. The JAG attorney may also consider other financial resources available

to determining financial eligibility. For more information: http://www.militaryprobono.org/about/

Public Legal Resources

http://www.americanbar.org/portals/public_resources/aba_home_front/directory_programs.html

For more information on Potential Legal Resources for Survivors contact WA State Survivor Outreach Services

Useful Resources and Tips

P. 5

WA Survivor Outreach

Services (SOS)

Joint Base Lewis-McChord

ACS Annex

Bldg. 2166, Liggett Ave & 12th S.

St.

253-967-7501

Army Reserve SOS

Marysville

13613 N 40th Ave.

360-403-2316

or

360-403-2338

National Guard SOS

Western WA

253-512-1353

Eastern WA

509-734-7052

Joint Base Lewis-McChord

Casualty Assistance Office

Waller Hall

Bldg. 2140, Liggett Ave.

253-966-5890

Joint Base Lewis-McChord

Retirement Services Office

Waller Hall

Bldg. 2140, Liggett Ave.

253-966-5881

www.facebook.com/SOSWASTATE

Stress Less Tip Corner ~ How to Handle the

Holidays

Decide what you can handle comfortably and let family and friends

know.

Make some changes if they feel comfortable for you.

Re-examine your priorities; greeting cards, holiday baking,

decorating, putting up a tree, Family dinner etc.

Consider doing something special for someone else.

Recognize your loved ones presence in the Family; burn a candle,

hang a stocking or play music to include them.

If you decide to do holiday shopping, make a list ahead of time and

keep it handy for a good day, or shop through a catalogue.

Observe the holidays in ways which are comfortable for you.

Try to get enough rest – Holidays can be physically and emotionally

draining.

Allow yourself to express your feelings.

AND:

Don’t be afraid to have fun!

Falling Snow

by anonymous

See the pretty snowflakes

Falling from the sky;

On the wall and housetops

Soft and thick they lie.

On the window ledges,

On the branches bare;

Now how fast they gather,

Filling all the air.

Look into the garden,

Where the grass was green;

Covered by the snowflakes,

Not a blade is seen.

Now the bare black bushes

All look soft and white,

Every twig is laden,

What a pretty sight!