session 4 agreements

SESSION 4

AGREEMENTS

Copyright © 2020 by Linda McLoughlin MCC Page | 2

• The Coaching Contract – the macro and micro levels

• The importance of partnership in the coaching relationship

• How to help the client set goals and measure success

• How to contract in organizations

• Creating a coaching environment

• Social Styles

• Coaching Demonstration

• Coaching Practice

• Reflections and review

Definition: Partners with the client and relevant stakeholders to create clear

agreements about the coaching relationship, process, plans and goals. Establishes

agreements for the overall coaching engagement as well as those for each coaching

session.

1. Explains what coaching is and is not and describes the process to the client and relevant stakeholders

2. Reaches agreement about what is and is not appropriate in the relationship, what is and is not being offered, and the responsibilities of the client and relevant stakeholders

3. Reaches agreement about the guidelines and specific parameters of the coaching relationship such as logistics, fees, scheduling, duration, termination, confidentiality and inclusion of others

4. Partners with the client and relevant stakeholders to establish an overall coaching plan and goals

5. Partners with the client to determine client-coach compatibility 6. Partners with the client to identify or reconfirm what they want to accomplish in

the session 7. Partners with the client to define what the client believes they need to address

or resolve to achieve what they want to accomplish in the session 8. Partners with the client to define or reconfirm measures of success for what

the client wants to accomplish in the coaching engagement or individual session

9. Partners with the client to manage the time and focus of the session 10. Continues coaching in the direction of the client’s desired outcome unless the

client indicates otherwise 11. Partners with the client to end the coaching relationship in a way that honors

the experience

AGENDA

COMPETENCY #3: Establishes and Maintains Agreements


• What are your goals for this coaching program?

• What would you like to work on in this session?

• What makes that topic important to you right now?

• In the time we have available, what would be a good outcome?

• How would you know if you reached that outcome in this session?

• What do you specifically want to take away from this session?

TYPICAL QUESTIONS


ESTABLISHING THE AGREEMENT

When we are co-creating the coaching relationship, we need to be mindful of the

following:

• The coach is the learner of the client’s life

• Curiosity serves the coach well; the coach needs to be open to not knowing

• The coach recognizes that the client is complete and whole

• The coach listens for positives

• The coach knows that techniques and tools are there to serve in the moment

and not to be “forced” into the session

• The coach can balance safety and challenge and begin to challenge once trust

is established

• The coach can ask for permission to explore the client’s situation in more depth;

share their thought and offer feedback

• The coach can hold up a “mirror” by asking the client to reflect on what s/he has

just said that might be repetitive. The coach hones their powers of observation

to notice patterns of speech and behavior

• The coach is aware of the “religion of nice and sympathy” whereby the coach

colludes with the client in the interests of being nice and sympathetic at the

expense of growth

• The coach can establish a neutral ground and not be caught in the client’s story

or drama – the coach can hear and detach at the same time and avoid co-

dependence.


CONTRACTING IN ORGANIZATIONS

When we work as either third party coaches or internal coaches within an organization,

the “co-creating the relationship” piece becomes more complex and challenging

especially in relation to ethics; transparency and confidentiality. We need to manage

this tripartite relationship clearly from the outset with the rights and responsibilities of

all sides made explicit to one another.

What do you see as the rights and responsibilities of each of the three parties?

The Organization:

The Coach:

The Client:

Organization

CoachClient


The BASIC skills in the contracting stage for the coach include:

• Evaluate the readiness of the coachee for coaching

• Engage all appropriate constituents in goal setting and agenda setting for the

coaching (coachee, boss, HR, others)

• Obtain commitment and support from all appropriate constituents

• Establish guidelines for confidentiality

• Establish the boss’s and HR’s role in the coaching

• Facilitate agenda-setting and goal-setting meetings between the coachee,

his/her boss and the HR professional

• Develop realistic and challenging coaching goals

• Set realistic time frames for accomplishing the coaching goals

• Re-contract when appropriate

• Tailor the coaching process to the unique needs of the coachee and

organization

More ADVANCED contracting skills may require the coach to:

• Play multiple roles without crossing key boundaries or compromising the guidelines for practice

• Challenge the coachee’s commitment

• Contract with the boss for feedback to him/her

• Negotiate and write three forms of coaching contracts: the learning contract with the coachee, his/her boss and HR professional; the business/legal/financial contract with the coachee’s organization; and the personal/relationship contract with the coachee

• Manage times of low and high demand in one’s own coaching practice so as not to negatively impact client service.

When contracting we have to be mindful at all times of the ICF Code of Ethics; the

Competencies and the Non-Directive Model itself and to honor these. Contracting is

key to creating an equal partnership with clients. Remember the following:

• The Coach has the right to compensation and respect

• The contract is explicit in the expected level of reporting

• Boundaries of client confidentiality - abide by the ICF Code of Ethics

• What kind of coaching is required in this situation? Is coaching the appropriate

intervention?

• What kind of coaching is allowed? Career or life change? Talk about the

categories of topics to be included in advance

• Manner of delivery - is it face to face, via skype or phone?

• Payment schedule

• Schedule of the sessions

• Number of coaches to be involved

• Cancellation policy


MANAGING THE CONTRACT

Ideally all three parties (organization, client and coach) should be equal in the contract

as shown in equilateral triangle:

However, psychological dissonance in the contract can present itself – be aware of

unequal relationships where the coaching alliance becomes complex and unbalanced:

Scenario 1:

Coach and Organization are close and coachee is distant (unethical collusion?)

Scenario 2:

Coach and coachee are close and organization is distant (lack of buy in from company

can hinder results)

Scenario 3:

Organization and coachee are close and coach is distant (a less common occurrence

but sometimes the company is just going through the motions of providing coaching

and employees know this and they become cynical).

How can a coach restore balance in the coaching relationship in the above

instances?

Organization

CoachClient


SOCIAL STYLES AND COACHING

As coaches, our awareness of self in interactions is key to building productive coaching

alliances and partnerships. Social Styles is another model to help us understand

ourselves and others. Each of the four Styles displays positive and negative

characteristics when working with others, and research shows that people of any

SOCIAL STYLE can be successful in any profession. If someone’s SOCIAL STYLE is

not inherently good or bad, what is the point of studying these behavioral preferences?

Understanding Style allows you to identify the preferences of others and modify your

behavior to make others more comfortable. This is known as Versatility, and it is

strongly linked to career and business success.

Individual Styles affect the way clients see the world, the priorities they value, and the

way they expect to be treated. Style affects the way clients make decisions, their

outlook on risk, and how they manage their time. Versatility teaches coaches to see

their own behavior from the outside, through the eyes of the people they coach and

help us understand:

• How does each client prefer to communicate and to be communicated with? • What are the fundamental needs of each client’s personality? • What common challenges are faced by people with different Styles? • What are signs that different clients are uncomfortable in coaching sessions? • What are the common areas of potential growth for people of different Styles?

Take the questionnaire below to help you assess your own Social Style.

When are you likely to use a social style questionnaire or other personal inventory with

your client?

Usually at the beginning of a coaching program at the getting to know each other stage

as it can help you understand their communication preferences. Equally it can be useful

to build self-awareness for the client at any stage of the program and particularly when

they are faced with inter-personal issues. They can recognize that while they cannot

change other people, they can change how they choose to respond to them. By

understanding that others are not necessarily being “difficult”, they are simply different

to us – this insight can release or reduce negativity.

MANUAL version of social styles quiz: What is YOUR Personality?

http://cnhkeyclub.org/downloads/Officers/Lt.%20Governor%20Elect/Personality%20

QUIZ.pdf

http://cnhkeyclub.org/downloads/Officers/Lt.%20Governor%20Elect/Personality%20QUIZ.pdf

http://cnhkeyclub.org/downloads/Officers/Lt.%20Governor%20Elect/Personality%20QUIZ.pdf


Rapport and Effective Communication

BEHAVIOURAL STYLES: PERSONALITY FACTORS

ANALYTICAL

▪ Planner/organiser

▪ Details/technicalities

▪ Show decisions

▪ Must be right

▪ Conservative/cautious

▪ Low pressure

▪ Precise/critical/logical

▪ Problem solver

▪ Persistent

▪ Follows procedures/compliant

DRIVER

▪ Goal oriented/results oriented

▪ Impatient

▪ Task oriented/high achiever

▪ Workaholic

▪ Decisive

▪ Opinionated/stubborn/blunt

▪ Innovative

▪ Tough/firm in relationships

▪ Control oriented

▪ Competitive/loves challenge

AMIABLE

▪ Needs people

▪ Good listener

▪ Status quo/dislikes change

▪ No risks

▪ No pressure

▪ Counsellor/helps others

▪ Focus on others

▪ Insecure/needs reassurance

▪ Supportive

▪ No conflict

EXPRESSIVE

▪ Dreamer

▪ Unrealistic goals

▪ Creative, ideas flow

▪ Needs approval and compliments

▪ Generalises

▪ Persuasive, outgoing

▪ Opinionated

▪ Fast decisions

▪ Excitable

▪ Enthusiastic, shows confidence


Behavioural Styles – AMIABLE

• Start (briefly) with a personal commitment. Be agreeable. • Show sincere interest in them as people. • Listen well. Be responsive and supportive. • Elicit personal goals and work to help achieve these goals as related to the forum. • Ask “how” questions. • If you agree easily, look for possible areas of their disagreement or dissatisfaction. • If you disagree, look for hurt feelings. • Be informal, orderly and friendly. • Guarantee their decision will minimise risks. • Offer clear, specific solutions with assurances.

Behavioural Styles – EXPRESSIVE

• Plan interaction that supports their feelings/intuitions. Be stimulating. Use enough

time to be sociable, yet fast-moving. • Leave time for relating/socialising after completing meeting. • Talk about people, their goals, opinions they find stimulating. • Don’t discuss extensive details related to proposal. • Ask for their opinions/ideas regarding improvement. • Provide ideas for implementing action. • Provide testimonials from people they perceive as important/prominent. • Offer special, immediate and extra incentives for their willingness to accept your

proposal. • Continue supporting the relationship, be casual. • Recognise their accomplishments.

Behavioural Styles – DRIVER

• Be clear, specific, brief and efficient. • Stick to business. • Present the facts logically. • Ask specific (preferably “what”) questions. • Provides choices and options. • Provide facts and figures about the results of your proposal. • If you disagree, take issue with facts, not the person. • Motivate and persuade by referring to objectives and results. • Support, maintain, and use discretion.


Behavioural Styles – ANALYTICAL

• Approach them in a straightforward, direct but low-keyed way; stick to business. • Support their logical, methodical approach; build your credibility by listing pros and

cons of your proposal. • Present specifics and do what you say you can do. Take your time, but be

persistent. • Create a schedule to implement actions with step-by-step timetable. Assure them

there won’t be surprises. • If you agree, follow through and document for the record. • If you disagree, make an organised presentation of your position and ask for their

suggestions to resolve the situation. • Give them time to verify predictability of your actions; be accurate, realistic. • Provide solid, tangible, practical evidence and options. • Provide long-term assurances.

Analytical (Thinker)

As a coach, may want to gather too much data; may focus on analysis of the client

issues; may focus on details of the client’s story … what else?

Driver (Doer)

As a coach, may be very task oriented; focus too much on actions; may rush the

client; may become impatient with reflective clients … what else?

Amiable (Feeler)

As a coach, may find it hard to detach from the client’s story; may be overly

sympathetic without sufficient challenge; may overly relate to client’s emotion ….

what else?

Expressive (Intuitor)

As a coach, may move too fast; may wish the client to do more than they are ready

for; may wish their clients were more adventurous; may get impatient with pace …

what else?

Reflection

What does your social style say about you as a coach? What do you need to

watch for?

session 4 agreements

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