paragraphs and internal transitions (2)
TRANSCRIPT
Paragraphs and Internal Transitions
(2)Angelos Bollas –
angelosbollastefl.com
Where to look for problems.
O 1. Look for sentences (usually short ones) that are not connected with the previous ones in no way (i.e. absence of and, however, such, etc.)
O Task: Read the following paragraph and evaluate it. How could you make it better?
Some Americans live in affluent suburbs or university communities. It’s easy to get the impression that the American population is healthy. Joggers and bicycle riders are everywhere. Many restaurants feature low-fat entrees. Many Americans are unhealthy. Thirty percent are seriously overweight. Alcoholism is a problem and many teenagers smoke. Obesity among children is increasing.
Angelos Bollas - angelosbollastefl.com
Where to look for problems.
O 2. Check vague references or expletives (e.g. it is, there are, etc.)
O Task: Read the following paragraph and evaluate it. How could you make it better?
It is a truism that good manners are like skeleton keys. There are few doors they will not open. Some people think that good manners are pretentious. They are a way of condescending to people. That is a misunderstanding. The real purpose of manners is to make social situations comfortable and to put the people you are with at ease. Manners are also practical to have. There are many companies that insist that their executives have good manners. Some business schools include a course on manners in their curricula.
Angelos Bollas - angelosbollastefl.com
Where to look for problems.
O 3. Check for gaps between paragraphs. (chronological gaps or gaps in meaning).
O Task: Read the following text and evaluate it. How could you make it better?
When I arrived here four years ago, I found that the skills I had learned in order to survive in Sudan were useless. I knew how to catch a rabbit, challenge a hyena or climb a coconut palm, but I had never turned on a light, used a telephone or driven a car.
Within a month I understood how to work most modern conveniences and started my first job as a courtesy clerk and stocker at Ralph’s grocery store in San Diego. Things like mangoes, chard and yams were familiar, but when customers asked about Cheerios or Ajax, it was as though my years of learning English in the refugee camp were worthless.
Angelos Bollas - angelosbollastefl.com
How to improve transitions.
O 1. Use common words to connect ideas (both pointer words – first, second, last, etc. – and relationship words – however, for example, etc.)
O 2. Repeat key terms throughout the paragraph (It helps you establish the central idea).
O 3. Use demonstrative pronouns (e.g. this, those, etc.)
O 4. Use relative pronouns (e.g. who, where, etc.)
O 5. Use parallelism.
O 6. Use a semicolon to link closely related statements.
Angelos Bollas - angelosbollastefl.com
References
Ruszkiewicz, John J., Maxine Hairston, and Christy Friend. The Scott Foresman Handbook for Writers. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson/Prentice Hall, 2007. Print
Angelos Bollas - angelosbollastefl.com