8/2/2019 Open Letter to Men

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april2011l i f e p o s i t i v e82

WOMAN'SHOUR ~ MEN

Dear fellow traveller,

It was hard to find the right word to address you the other half came nearest, but wasnt closeenough. It is not the clich Im afraid of, it is the lie.

Let me call you fellow traveller, since we are travelling

together. We, men and women.

What is it that I, the quintessential woman, want to

say to you, the quintessential man? First, the inevi-

tability of us. Whoever or whatever made the world

made the male and the female, throughout the entire

living kingdom mammals, birds, amphibians, fish.

We humans too are part of the chain. We humans

have identified and categorised ourselves in quite a few

ways, on the basis of religion, language, occupation,

nationality. I guess gender beats them all. We are 50-50

stakeholders. Yet, we seem to be tugging in opposite

directions at the two ends of the rope. Why?

From the war between the sexes to the search of

soul mates, from DNA to subtle bodies, from the bed-

room to the boardroom much has been said, some

understood. Yet, there is heartache. Why, again? The

last century has seen a rapid metamorphosis in the

role and status of women. With women voting, get-

ting a good education, working and earning money,

the roles set out in the past have been challenged. In

societies where patriarchy has been the unquestioned

norm this has been a thorny affair. Marriages have

broken, daughters have rebelled, mothers have cried

acid tears. How is the man supposed to handle all this

the father, the brother, the husband, the son?

an open letter to men

(perhaps women too!)

by Harvinder Kaur

Photo:ShreelaA.

Nair

M

odel:RahulR.

Nair

ss you

stakeholders. Yet, we seem to be tugging

directions at the two ends of the rope. W

Go withtheflow

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8/2/2019 Open Letter to Men

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april2011l i f e p o s i t i v e 83

WOMAN'SHOUR ~ MEN

15th

First, stop struggling against change. Remember, all

change is integral. A ripple runs across the water, life

is fluid. An idea that changes one part of the worldaffects other parts. The woman wonders: If I can earn

and fend for myself, if I can produce kids and provide

for them, why should I play second fiddle? When I

can choose expression over suppression, freedom over

fear, sincerity over manipulation, peace over nagging,

then why shouldnt I? The reasons for staying on in a

relationship are changing and they have to be good

reasons. You cannot have only women happy at the

cost of men or men happy at the cost of women.

There is a deep and intense call from the collective

consciousness of women to grow in a way that hasnthappened before in the history of the planet. Centuries

of suppression, or at least lack of support, have led the

steam to build. Now, the steam is let loose with a force

that will not withstand any opposition. The woman is

redefining her role in society. This cannot be stopped,

it has to understood and channelised. That alone will

lead to harmony. If the spirit has taken on the body

of the female, the same spirit is aching to express itself

in its entire glory. No more, no less. But the structure

of society has to be prepared and changed, in certain

ways its crying for a paradigm shift.

It is time to look beyond social roles. Understand

that nothing is sacrosanct forever. Change is sacred

and necessary for the spirit to flower and find expres-

sion. Yet, its hard.

What would help would be to prepare the next gen

early in life. It is important to bring up boys differ-

ently. The toys need to be more unisex, boys can play

with dolls and cook, they can hang around while their

mother is cooking and help instead of being with thelads. If we are truly moving into a deeper, more alive

spiritual awareness then old norms will be tossed up.

Some will shatter. When mothers and fathers bring

up their children with sensitivity, without claustro-

phobic gender rules, the children grow up freer. Men

dont have to go out of their way to try to be stronger,

heavier, louder, bolder; women dont have to struggle

to be seductive, manipulative, sentimental, submissive.

The qualities that develop are a natural unfolding of

ones soul qualities. They neednt be gender driven and

determined, but a result of the individual journey togrowth. So, the gentle man and the strong woman are

not necessarily a subject for lampooning.

Till now, society has been trying to create two per-

fect halves that find each other, complement each

other and live with each other, in a bid to create a

harmonious exchange. Somewhere, this has led to

discontentment and more.

But now, evolution is taking humanity to a different

plane. It is time, for not two halves, but two wholes

to merge to make yet another whole. The woman is

moving fast to find the male principle within her, the

man too needs to find the female within him. When

complete individuals meet, miracles happen. Such is

completeness, such is delight.

Contact the author on: teachertalk@rediffmail.comTo read these articles online and post your comments,

go to http://www.lifepositive.comMagazine April 2011.We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article.

Mail us at editor@lifepositive.net

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