Bulang, Jan Erwin F. PHLO 1842011-97523

On Feminist Separation and Power

Is it really indispensable to achieve separatist goals to achieve harmony and balance in the society? We know for a fact that the status quo is in patriarchy but do we really have to overthrow the system and change it with another. If so, then what the radical feminists have always been trying to achieve is ultimately the same idea that they were against for. Feminist separation is seen as the disconnection of women from various modes of men and from institutions, activities, roles, relationships, and everything that are male-defined, dominated, and constructed. It may be in the form of getting the way from your boyfriend or husband for example in decision-making or process. I believe that this kind of particular action from women only makes the situation worse, or may even create a more chaotic and imbalance proportion between males and females. If I were to ask, I am more of reconciliation or setting a standard for men and women to set aside their biological and societal differences and live as if there is no role-barrier. To quote from Eli Siegel, the founder of Aesthetic Realism, “the making one of opposites is what we should aim for.”1 I know that this phrase is somehow far from the truth because in its logical extent, how could you make an opposition similar? However, what Siegel tries to suggest, is for the reconciliation of both opposing entity [for this matter separation of men from women], for example - it is clear that the reality is in motion and rest at once, change and sameness at once. If that is the premise, we should also look ourselves as a change and motion at once, change and sameness at once – since we are all part of the reality. Therefore, I don’t think there is a greater significance if women try to separate themselves in terms of hegemonic dominance against men.

My family I suppose is under the patriarchal set up, although I am not saying that my mother has nothing to do with the direction of what the family tries to embark on, she has a say of course. Nevertheless, she holds the financial and resources matter in our family. I used to ask my mother before why she didn’t pursue her college degree when she was almost in the middle of graduation, she replied to me and said, “Your father asked me to let go of my education and instead took care of you my children.” And I was like, isn’t it injustice for her part to throw her education where she can actually go to school and at the same time baby sit us. Sooner later I found out that before they can’t afford to hire a baby sitter. I used to ask the same question why she didn’t even bother to force my father to change his decision on discouraging her to find work, she replied, she has no regrets at all since what she is doing is what she does best that is to take good care of us, and that is what makes her a real mother. At first, it changes my outlook towards my father for daunting my mother not to finish her college education, but soon I realize that my mother doesn’t even care at all. I know for some people who advocates feminist view – these are the situations or scenarios that grind their gears the most; but for personal and individual basis, people should not blame my mother for not pursuing a career not because it was what my father suggested but it was her personal decision and commitment that she vowed to undertook. And I think when a choice is personalize; it is already a valid reason not to squabble with.

1. Siegel, Eli (1981). Self and World: An Explanation of Aesthetic Realism. Published by: New York: Definition Press.

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