North Korea Bows to Female Forces

Slugline: RealZoeBarnes

PYONGYANG, North Korea, March 8 2013 –What arose yesterday as an alarming and visible military uprising in the global freedom-hold of the United States, has now evidenced itself as political coup of an entirely different nature in this nation that has been overshadowed by generations’ long reigns of highly oppressive Supreme Leaders. Thursday, throngs across the globe were terror-stricken to hear of more than 100 U.S. jets, bombers, cargo planes, and drones all at once making an arc away from the Americas and headed towards the Asian continent. NATO jets were

scrambled to intercept the renegade U.S. forces , but were quickly ordered to return to their home bases when it was learned that the irregular formations were carrying out a renegade all-female humanitarian strike on North Korea. U.S. President Garrett Walker, apparently unharmed in this political action, but broadcasting from an undisclosed location was pressed to make a statement,

In the pre-dawn hours, America was laid siege. One hundred and fifty-seven of her military aircraft were commandeered by Major Gen. Gladys Duryea and a renegade following of 100s of female enlisted personnel and officers. The aircraft were forcibly removed from their bases and flown into North Korean territory. As these aircraft were being commandeered, casualties occurred. What we know is that four civilian and military personnel

from Andrew’s Air Force Base in Washington, DC were injured and three military personnel from the 32nd Naval Station in San Diego, California were also hurt. None has sustained what are believed to be life threatening injuries. The illegally taken aircraft have been used in strafing North Korean military bases as well as have been used for dropping food, materials and armaments for forces that oppose the regime of Kim Jong-un. I, along with The Joint Chiefs of Staff, do not support nor condone the actions of these deserters. We have avowed to capture and bring these rebels to their proper and due justice.

As of Friday evening in this capital city of North Korea, an estimated nearly 750,000 citizens were jubilantly celebrating in the streets at the rumored killing of Kim Jong-un and the overthrow of his deadly and threatening regime. Said one man of about 50, “I am now free… the world is free… thank you, thank you to these ladies,” pointing to three Western-appearing women clad in U.S. Air Force flight suits who had been hoisted on the shoulders of young North Koreans and were being carried cheerfully, jauntily down the main boulevard.

From the fields of Sunuiju in the north, to the cities of Anu and Chongiin in the province of South Pyongan, North Koreans, such as self-described farmer Park Jun indicated relief began “falling from the sky” a day ago. The hungry were fed and the sick were treated. The nourished soon began to take up the weapons, rifles and rocket launchers that had also been dropped. Dwellers from the small city of Anu, Ae Sook Cho and her husband BaeCho reported that North Korean military forces there attempted to fight off strafing from the U.S. planes, but were highly out-numbered and over-powered, “giving up” shortly after the midnight.

Additional residents of Anu indicated that a militia soon formed from village to town to city, then converged on Pyongyang. It was here that a massive angry mob formed and as reported over multiple North Korean citizen band radios and the major South Korean news outlet, Chosun, bloody hand to hand combat between the citizenry and military took place. The sheer size of the militia proved too much for the palace forces and Kim Jong-un and at least 4 of his top generals were overtaken, beaten and bloodily bludgeoned to death at approximately 7 a.m. local time.

Not all of the aircraft were able to navigate to safety at U.S. bases in South Korea. From downed planes and aircraft that purposefully landed on North Korean fields, roadways and other areas, the unusual pattern emerged: all U.S. personnel piloting and manning the planes were female. Indeed, Master Sgt. Daisy (“Day-Oh”) Oram , leaning casually against by her AC-130H gun ship that she piloted to rest in a grain field about 10 km. west of Pyongyang, said, “Major Gen. Duryea gave the go-ahead for the mission” Unconfirmed sources also stated Major Gen. Duryea, a veteran of numerous flights in the Middle East entailing combat, planned the militaristic-style humanitarian effort, dubbed “Mothers of Mention.”

Capt. Jenni (“Bug”) Padgett piloted the only C5 (a three-story tall cargo ship) to fly directly over Pyongyang. She said she landed it safely on a desolate stretch of the state highway about 7 km. north of the city and then walked to where the celebrations were taking place. Capt. Padgett added, “The mission would not have been a success without the assistance and solidarity of the women across our two countries.” She said, the usually buttoned up and uniformed women

Of the North Korean military “were in on the mission from the earliest planning stages…” and were able to initially get by their superiors with an elaborate system of winks and nods. As the operation got underway, said Capt. Padgett, these young women “undermined” their military’s threats by jamming radios, mis-communicating coordinates for targets and generally wreaking havoc from within.

Airmen 1st Class, Suzy (“Momma”) Jacobs who is a crew member under Capt. Padgett stated, “Everything from church bake sales to any way a church-going gal wouldn’t make a livin’—if yaknow what I mean…” raised the money to help provide the supplies that were dropped into North Korea. A1C Jacobs added, she volunteered for the mission who’s purpose she described as “to quash these male nuts, like Kim Jong-un.”

According to Slugline’s Washington bureau offices, as word spread of the death of Kim Jong-un and the certain coming disarmament of the regime’s nuclear missile program, mothers around the world gratefully acknowledged the Mothers of Mention. Around the globe, mothers openly and peacefully nursed their babies in public spaces, crediting The Mothers of Mention with giving birth to an uprising that not only saved the North Korean nation, but the entire world.