IMPROVING

INTERPERSONAL

RELATIONSHIP

Module: Personality DevelopmentDay 2

Session outline

Interpersonal Relationship:

Definition and Importance

Relationship as Transaction

Types of Relationship

Communication Climate in

Relationship

Tips to Improve

Myself

Suwarn Kr. Singh

MCMIS- Netherlands, EMBA-Pokhara University,

MscIT-Manipal University

Director of Studies, NASC

10 + yrs of work experience as an IT and Management

Professional

Forethought 4

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No matter what we do, we do it with people. People create technology. People implement the technology. People make it all happen. People ultimately use whatever it is we create. No matter how small your organization or how technical its process, it takes people to be successful.

Harry E. ChambersAuthor, The Bad Attitude Survival Guide

Forethought

Interpersonal Relationship

Definition:

o An interpersonal relationship is a strong, deep, or close

association or social contract between two or more people

that may range in duration from brief to enduring.

o This association may be based

on inference, love, solidarity, regular business interactions,

or some other type of social commitment.

o Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of

social, cultural and other influences.

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Source: https://en.wikipedia.org

Interpersonal Relationship

Definition:

o The context can vary from:

family relations, friendship, marriage, relations with

associates, work, clubs, neighborhoods, and places of

worship.

o They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual

agreement, and are the basis of social groups and society

as a whole.

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Source: https://en.wikipedia.org

Purpose and Importance of IR

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Best-managed organizations:

o understand work is done through

relationships

Interpersonal relation is the study of why

beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors can

cause problems in personal and

professional relationships

Purpose Interpersonal Relationship

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Interpersonal skills essential for success in

most jobs

Technical competencies not sufficient for

success

Recent trends in the workplace give new

importance to human relations

Importance Interpersonal Relationship

Relationship as Transaction

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Because it has stages to follow and has association time to justify the bonding

Individual Iceberg:

Structural Model:

Parent Ego State: thinking,feeling, behaving taken in formparents, teachers or parent-figure

Adult Ego State: thinking, feeling,behaving as a direct response tothe here and now

Child Ego State: thinking,feeling, behaving, replayedfrom childhood

P

A

C

Theories of Relational Development14

Initiating

Experimenting

Intensifying

Integrating

Bonding Differentiating

Circumscribing (limiting)

Stagnating (Decaying)

Avoiding

Terminating

Source: Knapps’s Developmental Model

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Acquaintances (Connections/Links)

Romantic Relationships

Work Relationships

Family Relationships

Friendships

Relationship Types

Communication Climate

The emotional feelings that are present when peopleinteract with one another

Communication climates are metaphors for the feelings wehave when interacting with others

Possible relational climates:

-stormy

-cold

-sunny

-warm

How is communication climate determined?

By how communicators speak and act toward one

another

By how much communicators feel that they are valued

by the other person

The way another person treats us is often an indicator

for how they feel toward us

We interpret other’s behaviors in order to determine

how important we are to them

Confirming responses

Messages that tell you that you are

valued by the other person

Examples of confirming messages:

“you matter to me”

“you are special”

Confirming messages may be displayed

verbally or nonverbally

Three types of confirming messages

Recognition- showing recognition of

another person’s presence

Acknowledgment- to recognize and

validate another’s ideas and feelings

Endorsement- recognizing another’s ideas

and feelings and showing agreement for

them.

Disconfirming responses

Messages that deny the values of another

person

May take the form of disagreeing with or

ignoring another person’s message

Challenges of Today’s Workplace21

Wide range of interpersonal skills are

needed

People must manage three types:

Relationships with ourselves

One-to-one relationships

Group relationships

Tips to Improve 22

Put on a big happy smile

Communicate Clearly

Don’t Complain

Listen

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes

Tips to Improve 23

Self-acceptance

Trust

Conflict resolution

Self-awareness

Self-disclosure

What it results24

Defensive Supportive

Gibb’s six pairs of Defensive and Supportive

behaviors:

Defensive Supportive

Evaluation vs. Description

Control vs. Problem Orientation

Strategy vs. Spontaneity

Neutrality vs. Empathy

Superiority vs. Equality

Certainty vs. Provisionalism

Evaluative Communication

Statements that come across as judgmental:

Often involve an accusatory tone

“you” statements

Put the other person on the defense

Descriptive communication

Focuses on the thoughts and feelings of

the speaker instead of judging the

listener

Describe how the other person’s behavior

has effected him or her, rather than just

judging it

Often involve “I” statements

Control vs. Problem Orientation

Control- when sender tries to impose a

solution on the receiver with little regard of

how that person feels

Problem orientation- involves both

communicators seeking a solution that is

equally satisfying

Strategy vs. Spontaneity

Strategy- involves the use of manipulation

in order to get someone to behave a

certain way

Spontaneity- the use of honesty to get

others to behave a certain way

Neutrality vs. Empathy

Neutrality- a neutral attitude shows a lack

of concern for the other

Empathy- showing an understanding for

what the other person is going through

Superiority vs. Equality

Superiority- when people act as is they

are better than others

Equality- when people behave as though

they are equal to everyone else

Certainty vs. Provisionalism

Certainty- messages that tell the receiver that the

sender’s mind is already made up

-not open to suggestion

Provisionalism- willing to acknowledge other points of

view even if they feel they have already made up

their mind

- involves keeping an open mind

Q &A