INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING SKILLS

CHARLES COTTER

7 AUGUST 2014

TRAINING PROGRAMME OVERVIEW

• Defining effective interpersonal communication

• Mastering the interpersonal communication process

• Understanding and applying Non-verbal communication (NVC)

• Applying the primary communication skills

• Understanding the characteristics of interpersonal style

• Relationship building skills and strategy

• Building trust and credibility

• Building and applying Resilience

• Understanding and practising Assertiveness strategies

DEFINING EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

• Communication is more than merely imparting meaning – it must also be understood.

• Fundamental definition of effective communication is when the intended message of the sender is correctly interpreted, understood and acted upon by the recipient/listener.

• Communication is the lifeblood of teams. No team or organization can exist without communication i.e. the transference of meaning among its team members.

• It is only through transmitting meaning from one person to another that information and ideas can be conveyed.

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION CYCLE/PROCESS

PRIMARY COMMUNICATION SKILLS

PRIMARY COMMUNICATION SKILLS

• Informing skills – the ability to articulate and express ideas and thoughts (as sender)

• Listening skills – the ability to listen attentively and actively (as receiver)

• The ability to express, read, interpret and respond appropriately to non-verbal communication

ANALYSIS OF NVC SCENARIO

INTERPERSONAL STYLE

• Director

• Socializer

• Relater

• Thinker

COMMUNICATION IMPROVEMENT STRATEGIES

• Plan what you want to say and how you will say it

• Use multiple channels and mediums

• Tailor the message to the audience

• Use clear, simple and understandable language

• Empathize with others

• Remember the value of face-to-face communication when dealing with change

COMMUNICATION IMPROVEMENT STRATEGIES

• Use two-way communication

• Practice active listening

• Match your words and actions (congruency)

• Ask for feedback/questions to confirm understanding

• Use the grapevine (as a source of employee issues)

• Use feedback

• Use assertive communication

BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

• Intra-personal

• Interpersonal

• Structural

• Physical, technological and/or environmental

DEFINING NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION (NVC)

• Non-verbal communication is usually understood as the process of communication through sending and receiving wordless (mostly visual) cues between people.

• Face-to-face interaction, NVC can be classified into three principal areas:

Environmental conditions where communication takes place

Physical characteristics of the communicators

Behaviours of communicators during interaction

COMPREHENSION COMPONENTS OF NVC

COMPONENTS OF NVC

RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING SKILLS• Whether expressing or communicating a view or an opinion,

transformational managers should do this in an open, but respectful manner.

• Managers need to feel comfortable enough to communicate a variety of issues to team members, both personal and professional and also be sufficiently transparent and forthright with important information.

• Managers should demonstrate the required sensitivity and compassion with due regard and respect for team member needs, emotions and rights, in their daily interpersonal engagement with team members.

• Managers can utilize Johari’s Window, in order to affect openness and interpersonal trust.

JOHARI’S WINDOW

JOHARI’S WINDOW• Designed to understand the communication process between people and

consists of varying degrees of information held in common between two people as well as methods that can be used to increase the size of one’s window.

• Communication will be enhanced if the Arena is increased in size by:

Exposure of self to others

Soliciting feedback from others

• Exposure requires an open, candid and trusting approach, while feedback requires an active solicitation of feelings, opinions and values from others.

• For these processes to be fully developed, reciprocity is required.

COVEY’S EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT

COVEY’S WIN-WIN MINDSET

TRUST ENHANCING STRATEGIES

• Open and transparent communication

• Mutual respect and tolerance for individual differences

• Demonstrated care and sincere interest

• Recognition for the value of each individual team member

• Co-operation and shared commitment

BUILDING CREDIBILITY

• The Credibility Formula as: Credibility = Integrity + Expertise.

• Achieving a distinguishable level of follower faith and loyalty is certainly not an overnight occurrence and can be achieved only through openness; committed people investment and a proven scorecard of leadership and performance excellence.

• Leader behaviour, actions and decisions congruent with reliability, fairness, consistency and transparency are instrumental values which can enhance follower perception of the leader’s reputation, standing and eventually, their willingness to follow and support that leader.

CRITICAL SUCCESS FACTORS FOR A RELATIONSHIP BUILDING STRATEGY

• Participative goal-setting

• Acting as a sounding board

• Identifying opportunities for team members to discuss work-related and personal issues

• Providing constructive advice and feedback

CRITICAL SUCCESS FACTORS FOR A RELATIONSHIP BUILDING STRATEGY

• Informing team members about developments and changes that may affect them

• Directly raising concerns over quality of work with the team member

• Keeping managers constantly informed

• Facilitating a upward flow of communication

DEFINING RESILIENCE• Resilience in psychology refers to the idea of an individual's

tendency to cope with stress and adversity.

• This coping may result in the individual "bouncing back" to a previous state of normal functioning, or using the experience of exposure to adversity to produce a "steeling effect" and function better than expected

• Resilience is most commonly understood as a process, and not a trait of an individual.

• Resilience is a dynamic process whereby individuals exhibit positive behavioural adaptation when they encounter significant adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or even significant sources of stress.

RESILIENCE BUILDING STRATEGIES

• Positive (they see life as complex but filled with opportunity)

• Focused (they have a clear vision of what they want to achieve)

• Flexible (they demonstrate pliability when responding to uncertainty)

• Organized (they develop structured approaches to managing ambiguity)

• Proactive (they engage with change rather than defending against it)

DEFINING ASSERTIVENESS

• Assertiveness is the ability to express one’s feelings and assert one’s rights while respecting the feelings and rights of others.

• Assertive communication is appropriately direct, open and honest, and clarifies one’s needs to the other person. People who have mastered the skill of assertiveness are able to greatly reduce the level of interpersonal conflict in their lives, thereby reducing a major source of stress.

• The Assertiveness Continuum

THE ASSERTIVENESS CONTINUUM

MEASURING YOUR ASSERTIVENESS

• Do you have difficulty accepting constructive criticism?

• Do you find yourself saying ‘yes’ to requests that you should really say ‘no’ to, just to avoid disappointing people?

• Do you have trouble voicing a difference of opinion with

others?

• Do people tend to feel alienated by your communication style when you do disagree with them?

• Do you feel attacked when someone has an opinion different from your own?

LEARNING TO SAY NO – “WHO’S GOT THE MONKEY?”

ASSERTIVENESS STRATEGIES

• Be Firm and Decisive - Say No if You Have To

• Ask For What You Want - Matter of Factly

• Achieve Your Goals

• Constructively Resolve Conflict

• Be Interested In the People Around You

• Believe in Yourself

CONCLUSION

• Key points

• Summary

• Questions

CONTACT DETAILS

• Charles Cotter

• (+27) 84 562 9446

• charlescot@polka.co.za

• LinkedIn

• Twitter: Charles_Cotter