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  • 7/26/2019 Girlfriend Blueprint 3.0

    1/20BY CRAIG MILLER

    GIRLFRIENDBLUEPRINT 3.0

    BY CRAIG MILLER

    GIRLFRIENDBLUEPRINT 3.0

  • 7/26/2019 Girlfriend Blueprint 3.0

    2/20BY CRAIG MILLER

    GIRLFRIENDBLUEPRINT 3.0Welcome to the Girlfriend Blueprint, revision 3. I intend to update this book frequently and youll

    receive live updates for free.

    The book is broken into two different parts

    Part one is about compatibility factors and making sure you have the highest chance of nding that

    one girl whos really great for you, so you can enjoy a long lasting, happy relationship free of problems

    and drama.

    Part two is about getting a girl from the courting stage into a relationship, so if youve got a girl youre

    seeing right now you can follow a simple process to make her your girlfriend.

    PART ONE: FIND THAT GIRL

    Chemistry is a hard thing to predict, because often, you really dont know until many months of beingtogether how good its going to be. Further, chemistry is not static, its always changing and it could be

    great one month and not so great the next.

    So Ive chosen to rely on proven factors, determined through research, of what the long lasting

    couples have in common and giving you practical, discreet tools to see if those factors exist between

    you and the girl youre interested in. I put long lasting in quotes, because really, you could have lots of

    different criteria for what makes a relationship great and thats going to change from guy to guy.

    Here are the key categories determined to inuence longer lasting relationships

    Personality factors

    Physical factors (your looks, etc)

    Static Attributes (your family background, nurturing, etc)

    Changeable Attributes (your income, etc)

    Were only going to be focusing on the rst two, because thats what you have control over. By building

    on existing research from a variety of sources, these two categories breakdown into the following

    factors

    1. Trust

    2. Intimacy

    3. Positivity / optimism

    4. Financial values

    5. Agreeableness

    6. Introvert / extrovert

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    7. Spirituality / religion

    8. Cultural values

    Before we move forward, in case youre curious, the list you just read is compiled from commonalities

    between the Bross Bennett Compatibility Quiz (BBCQ), E-Harmony matching factors, general

    formulas for more modern online match making sites, OKCupid.coms compatibility research, Corrine

    Sweets formula for love and my own personal experience working with hundreds of clients for nearly

    10 years.

    Corrine Sweets Formula For Love, based on a survey of over 2,000 women looks like this

    L = 8 + .5Y - .2P + .9Hm + .3Mf + J - .3G - .5(Sm - Sf)2+ I + 1.5C

    L= the predicted length in years of the relationship

    Y= the number of years the two people knew each other before the relationship became seriousP= the number of previous partners of both people added together

    Hm= the importance the male partner attaches to honesty in the relationship

    Mf= the importance the female attaches to money in the relationship

    J= the importance both attach to humor (added together)

    G= the importance both attach to good looks (added together)

    Smand Sf= the importance male and female attach to sex

    I= the importance attached to having good in-laws (added together)

    C= the importance attached to children in the relationship (added together)

    Perhaps the most important general nding from all studies, was that the single most important

    predictor of relationship length were commonalities. Differences can initially be appealing, but theyre

    not so cute after two years. Online dating site OKCupid allows users to answer questions for

    compatibility matching and allows them to rank the questions from 1-4 in terms of importance, a 1

    meaning not that important and a 4 meaning its mandatory their match gives the same answer.

    The site actually weighs matches using a point system where youre given a whopping 50 points for

    answering the mandatory questions the same as your match and only 1 point for answering not that

    important to your matchs mandatory questions. In other words, commonalities are given extreme

    importance.

    For men, the site found similar personality and strong commonalities are 87% likely to be a predictor

    for relationship satisfaction.

    The strategy Im about to lay out for you is strongly based on nding and conrming commonalities

    between you and the other person, so lets get into some practical tools you can use to make that

    happen quickly, easily and discretely.

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    Practical Compatibility Tools

    There are three types of testing tools to evaluate compatibility: questions you can ask, activities you

    can do together and actions you can observe in the other person. With that said, Id like to give you

    two big warnings about the tools Im about to hand you

    Warning #1:If youre hanging out with a girl you like, dont get too caught up in evaluating. Enjoy

    yourself, dont make her feel like youre evaluating her or shes under pressure. Only about 2-3% of

    your time should be spent actively evaluating, while the other 97% should just be enjoying yourself.

    Warning #2:What Im about to tell you is not guaranteed to predict compatibility. These are just tips

    that are effective the vast majority of the time, but you certainly could nd a girl who is great, yet does

    not pass some or all of these tests.

    Ok, with that said, lets jump into the three tools you can use

    Tool #1: Get Clear On Your Goal

    Before you can nd compatibility, you must rst get clear on what you want. Below Ive included an

    extremely important exercise. It might seem basic to you and theres a tendency to want to skip it

    under the excuse that I already know what I want or Ill know it when I see it. The truth, is that

    most men havent taken proper time to consciouslyidentify everything.

    This process will bring all your criteria to the forefront of your brain. Second, it will reinforce the

    importance of these traits for you, so that when you meet a girl you can be much more sure, much

    faster, if she is what youre looking for. So nally, this all adds up to more condence. The clearer

    you are on what you want, why you want it and why you think thats awesome will make you more

    condent, which in and of itself will attract more women. You always hear women say how attractive it

    is to meet a man who knows what he wants and this is going to help build that in you.

    EXERCISE: Get What You Want

    What do you want your ideal relationship to look like? To begin the exercise, get out a blank

    sheet of paper, draw two lines so youve got three columns. On the left side you list factors

    for an ideal relationship, such as...

    How much time you spend together?

    How often are you having sex?

    What activities do you do together?

    What types of rules do you have?

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    Just in case my reasoning above wasnt enough to do this exercise, researcher Dr. Edwin Locke

    found that 90% of the time setting specic goals leads to better performance and better results. In

    addition, researchers have revealed that people with dating goals report more satisfaction with their

    relationships.

    Finally, consider this an exercise in honestly. Researchers discovered that truthfulness, also labeled

    dispositional authenticity, is directly related to their relationships functionality and outcome.

    Womens dispositional authenticity does not have this impact. Higher levels of openness and honesty

    among men lead to more intimate and constructive relationships, as well as healthier relationship

    function and quality.

    Tool #2: Get Clear On The Girl

    In the second column you write whythis is important.

    In the third column you grade the item 1-3 as to how important it is. 3 being mandatory and

    a deal breaker, and 1 being not that important.

    Spend 10 minutes brainstorming on each of these sheets. Remember back to girls youve

    dated or met: what did you like most about them? When you imagine that ideal girl in your

    mind, what are you doing together and how is she acting?

    Lastly, save the sheet somewhere for later reference and to continually expand and update

    your list. This should be a work in progress that grows as you think of new things and changes

    as your tastes change. Dont worry about getting it perfect the rst time.

    Here are a few useful tips on this exercise

    Make a list of the perfect scenario without worrying about being realistic

    Add photos to make it more solid and really drive it into your conscious mind

    This is a work in progress, always add to it

    EXERCISE: The List

    What qualities will your ideal girl have? Repeat the rst exercise again, but this time for traits

    for your ideal girl. These can be based on

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    Tool #3: The Man She Naturally Chooses

    Take a look in the mirror and consider these questions

    What do the women youre looking for want?

    Are you the right guy for them currently?

    What do you maybe need to change to get the girl you really want?

    How do you make yo