Dealing with Difficult People Taking off the Gloves

Everyone is different

The first lesson of management/ leadership is to recognize that no 2 people are the same; therefore no 2 people can be managed the same.

When you start managing everyone in the same way you begin losing your effectiveness as a manager

These differences can be a blessing & a curse-- The key is what you do with them.

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Tips for having 'tough conversations'

• Address issues tactfully and respectfully

• Avoid using 'You phrases' such as 'you always' or 'you never'

• Don't stoke the fire

• Don't take it personal or make it personal

• It's not about you. They will likely take it personally, it is your job not to

• Don't save things to address at a later date-- Real time

• Expect them to improve & assist them in doing so

!Ever feel like this?

Know your Work place personality Type

• Dominate- Goal Driven; Butts head with other 'similar' personalities; Scares or runs over those that are soft spoken or not opinionated

• Interactive: Outgoing & Socially Driven; Wants to be everyone's friend is very social; Annoys someone that is private; Dominate personalities will try to run over

• Supportive: Cry on my shoulder; Too 'cuddly' for someone that is aggressive or goal oriented; Can be taken advantage of by a 'needy' employee

• Compliance: Focuses on the fine print; scared to not know every detail; strangles someone that wants to move quickly; can get mired in detail; easy to distract with numbers and regulations

Some typical types of challenging personalities

• These are traits not real people (mostly)• They have been shaped by different factors• They all have positive characteristics

the Droner

• This person goes on and on about everything under the sun. They often refuse to end the conversation.

• DANGER: Time Suck, Overwhelm you with issues

• Strategy: Schedule a time to hear them out & keep it short; put the solutions back on them; Create agendas for meetings

the Aggressor

• Known for their aggressive style, people are scared to confront them. They are used to getting their way and rarely accept 'No'

• DANGER: left hook, running you over, rallying the 'mob'

• Strategy: Approach issues with caution and do your 'homework'; be firm on nonnegotiables & flexible on new ideas; find a win-win-win; Call for backup

the Panic Button

• The slightest change will ruin their entire day; they live in constant fear of being fired or shot on sight

• DANGER: Causing mass hysteria; increasing drama; creating a stressful work environment for everyone

• Strategy: Give them clear communication about goals, rewards, and consequences; rely on policies and 'hard facts'; reinforce with them after disciplinary actions

the Protester

• This person is looking out for your rights! They spend time looking for the 'fine print' to try to figure out the 'real agenda' They will be first to scream when they feel slighted & the last to take ownership

• DANGER: He who screams loudest usually gets heard; Everyone will know what you do to him- or don't do

• Strategy: Direct them to come to you with questions & give them consequences if they don't; Create a 'cone of confidentiality'

the Rebel without a Clue

• Rules are made to be broken. They would like to know where the line so that they can push it--They usually don't know why rules are in place, only that they don't apply to them.

• DANGER: Compliance issues; eating away at your authority

• Strategy: Deal with them directly & firmly; document your conversations; follow up on your threats

the Most Valuable Employee in the World

• They have been here since the beginning of time and we are lucky to have them-- or so they say. They are stuck in their ways & refuse to change. The future of the clinic often hangs in the balance and they are only person that can save us.

• DANGER: Intimidating coworkers; intentionally sabatoging things that they don't like; undermining your authority

• Strategy: Acknowledge & Utilize their strengths; Ask their opinion; be firm when you differ in opinion & use your authority; remind them of who the boss is.

the Cry Baby

• I can't believe that this is happening to me.... This employee is the consummate victim. Everything happens to them and they have no control

• DANGER: Joining forces with the Protestor; they will tend to use their 'victimization' as an excuse for not doing their job.

• Strategy: Take away their excuses; listen to their complaints & reframe the conversation to point out what they can control.

the Socializer

• The person that knows everything that is going on with everyone-- some of which is actually true. They tend to spend more time talking than working.

• DANGER: Gossip; low productivity; poor work boundaries; professionalism issues

• Strategy: Keep them on task; utilize their powers for 'good'; use them for morale or PR

the Procrastinator

• They will always do it later. Usually pushing deadlines, they are always 5 minutes late & full of mistakes

• DANGER: compliance issues; low quality of work; keep other waiting to complete their jobs

• Strategy: Work with them on time-management issues; adjust their schedules; keep them away from the Socializer...

the I Don't Know It At All

• How much training can you give one person? This person has been taught everything that you know but they never seem to 'know' anything.

• DANGER: Draining your energy; making multiple errors; hindering other team members

• Strategy: Develop a training program that is comprehensive; Follow-up frequently; Pair them with a mentor; Ask the question: Can they 'get it'? Pull the plug when needed

References

• DiSC: www.epicdisc.com

• INC. online: www.inc.com

• Pictures by Afiat Sukmaraga