dealing with difficult people ppt
TRANSCRIPT
Group # 13Group # 13
M. Junaid Aftab 2013-pet-14M. Junaid Aftab 2013-pet-14
Syed Ali Zaib Naqvi 2013-pet-21Syed Ali Zaib Naqvi 2013-pet-21
Syed Hamza Shah 2013-pet-10Syed Hamza Shah 2013-pet-10
M. Haseeb Alam 2013-pet-20M. Haseeb Alam 2013-pet-20
Ever feel like you’re talking to a Ever feel like you’re talking to a brick wall???brick wall???
Dealing with Difficult Dealing with Difficult PeoplePeople
• Difficult People are…Difficult People are…
• Difficult People make you feel…Difficult People make you feel…
Interaction:Interaction:
• Difficult people are everywhere. Maybe you’re one of them? Or maybe, everyone is difficult during certain moments of their life .
Types:Types:
• The Hostile Co-worker or Boss• The Chronic Complainer• The Super-Agreeable• The Know-It-All Expert• The Pessimist• The Staller
The Hostile Co-worker or Boss• Aggressive, Unfriendly, Intimidating ….Aggressive, Unfriendly, Intimidating ….• Dealing with hostile people requires both tact
and strength. Since persons who feel they have been wronged are more likely to be aggressive and violent, you should first try to be sure they have been dealt with fairly.
The Chronic Complainer
• They are fault-finding, blaming, and certain about what should be done but they never seem able to correct the situation by themselves.
The Super-Agreeable
• They are super nice and smilingly agree with your ideas until some action is required, then they back down or disappear.
The Know-It-All Expert
• Know-it-all experts are of two types:
1. the truly competent, productive, self-assured, genuine expert.
2. the partially informed person pretending to be an expert.
Both can be a pain.
The Pessimist
• the person who always says, “It won’t work” or “We tried that.”
The Staller
• a person who puts off decisions for fear someone will be unhappy. Unlike the super-agreeable, the staller is truly interested in being helpful.
The Core Rules The Core Rules
for Dealing for Dealing
with Difficult People.with Difficult People.
Rule #1 in Dealing with DPRule #1 in Dealing with DP
• Don’t take DP personally. DP are equal Don’t take DP personally. DP are equal opportunity annoyers.opportunity annoyers.
Rule #2 in Dealing with DPRule #2 in Dealing with DP
• Don’t try to change DP; it usually won’t work. Don’t try to change DP; it usually won’t work. You can only change the way you react to DP.You can only change the way you react to DP.
Rule #2 in Dealing with DPRule #2 in Dealing with DP
• Don’t try to change DP; it usually won’t work. Don’t try to change DP; it usually won’t work. You can only change the way you react to DP.You can only change the way you react to DP.
““Managing Behaviors v. Fixing People.”Managing Behaviors v. Fixing People.”
Rule #3 in Dealing with DPRule #3 in Dealing with DP
• The system (not you) needs to work at removing The system (not you) needs to work at removing difficult people.difficult people.
• You should know the art of smile and nod when You should know the art of smile and nod when all you wanted was to punch them in the face.all you wanted was to punch them in the face.
Rule #4 in Dealing with DPRule #4 in Dealing with DP
• Don’t let difficult people suck you in or change Don’t let difficult people suck you in or change you. you.
(Don’t fight back, retaliate or try to beat DP at (Don’t fight back, retaliate or try to beat DP at their own game. They’ve been practicing their their own game. They’ve been practicing their whole life; you’re a lowly amateur.)whole life; you’re a lowly amateur.)
Rule #5 in Dealing with DPRule #5 in Dealing with DP
• Don’t try to merely appease DP.Don’t try to merely appease DP.
• (DP will keep coming back for more; (DP will keep coming back for more; change the way you react to DP and your change the way you react to DP and your life will be better)life will be better)
A Basic Set of Strategies A Basic Set of Strategies
for for
Dealing with DPDealing with DP
A Basic Strategy for Dealing with DPA Basic Strategy for Dealing with DP
1.1. Start out by examining yourself.Start out by examining yourself.
2.2. Explore what you are experiencing with a Explore what you are experiencing with a trusted friend or colleague.trusted friend or colleague.
3.3. Approach the DP for a private discussion Approach the DP for a private discussion using an “I” message.using an “I” message.
4.4. It’s okay to confront the DP publicly. It’s okay to confront the DP publicly.
A Basic Strategy for Dealing with DPA Basic Strategy for Dealing with DP
5. Be direct but use the right tone.5. Be direct but use the right tone.
6. Deal with the issues and interests; not with 6. Deal with the issues and interests; not with changing the person.changing the person.
7. Competitive people: treat the situation as a 7. Competitive people: treat the situation as a sport (“win-win”).sport (“win-win”).
““Accept what you can’t change.”Accept what you can’t change.”
““Try to understand these fallible humans.”Try to understand these fallible humans.”
--Albert Ellis--Albert Ellis
““He who controls others may be powerful, but he He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.”who has mastered himself is mightier still.”
——Lao-tzuLao-tzu
