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Communication and

Conflict Management in Special Education

DoDEA Center for Early Dispute Resolution (CEDR)Camp Lejeune

November 2-3, 2010

Anita Engiles, Dispute Resolution Specialist, CADRELeila Peterson, Executive Director, SchoolTalk

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CADRE Priorities

• Promote problem solving and agreement reaching skills

• Implement effective dispute resolution processes

• Enhance state agency and parent center collaboration

• Assist states to implement dispute resolution provisions of IDEA

• Support improved state system performance

• Compile information and data on state systems

• Disseminate knowledge about dispute resolution

Major ActivitiesCADRE Website

Over 900 individual resources

CADRE Continuum of Process & PracticesOver 70 individual state/local ADR examples

RAISE DataBaseOver 240 abstracted research/practice articles

Symposia Gallery ~ All presentations materials from 2005 National Conference on IEP Facilitation & 2006 National Symposium on Dispute Resolution in Special Education

Español9 translated resources, primarily directed at family members

Rich MediaFlash videos on CADRE, Listening Skills (English & Spanish), Understanding Interests (English & Spanish), Tale of Two Conversations and Study Guide 3

Major Activities (cont.)Developing Community, Creating Partnerships & Leveraging Resources

NPTAC/RPTAC/State PTIs/CPRCsNASDSE/IDEA Partnerships/Project FORUMNICHCY – National Dissemination CenterRRCs/Dispute Resolution WorkgroupCOP Listservs: Mediation/ADR, State Written Complaints, Due Process Hearings

National SymposiaFirst National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2000)Beyond Mediation: The Second National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2002)Moving Upstream: The Third National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2004)National Symposium on IEP Facilitation (2005)On the Road to Agreement ~ IDEA ’04 & More: The Fourth National Symposium on Dispute Resolution (2006)

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Major Activities (cont.)

Data SPP/APR Analysis "Longitudinal DR Database" - Table 4 and Table 7 summaries

online (5 years of data online) State-Specific Work Dispute Resolution System Integration and Performance

Enhancement (DR SIPE)

Looking To The Future Exemplar Work

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CADRE Activities Result in…• Earlier dispute resolution

• Vibrant communities of practice

• State dispute resolution system improvement

• Compilation of research and evaluative data

• Information on national dispute resolution use and outcomes

• Improved collaboration and dispute resolution skills

• Reduced use of adversarial dispute resolution processes

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Workshop Objectives

Participants will gain an awareness of:

• the sources and dynamics of conflict.

• different styles for approaching or managing conflict.

• ‘listening to understand’ as an essential relationship and communication skill.

• the difference between ‘positions’ and ‘interests.’

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Workshop Objectives (cont.)

Participants will become:

•familiar with the continuum of special education dispute resolution options, including innovative approaches to prevention and early resolution.

•aware of skills required to promote positive parent-professional relationships and increase productive communication.

•familiar with CADRE, The National Center on Appropriate Dispute Resolution in Special Education.

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Assumptions…

• Conflict is a healthy reflection of a diverse and changing society

• Most parent/school relationships are or can be positive and mutually respectful

• Skills can be acquired and strategies implemented that facilitate productive relationships

• Culture influences an individual’s perspective on conflict and how it’s most appropriately approached

• Workshop participants are already skilled at communicating, negotiating and problem-solving

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CONFLICT

What does the word“conflict” bring to mind?

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Two Definitions of Conflict

Any situation in which people have apparently incompatible interests, goals, principles, or feelings . . . ~~~

Expressed or repressed struggle Two or more people Interdependent relationship Strong emotion Perceived blockage of needs and/or values

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When a conflict escalates, resolution becomes more difficult because:

• Tactics go from heavy to light• Positions become more polarized and risk

averse• Number of people involved expands• Issues expand• Specific issues move to general issues

• Motivations change: Doing well winning hurting other

D. Pruitt and S. H. Kim, Social Conflict (3rd ed. 2003). 12

Psychological changes occur in individuals

• Ambiguous actions are seen as threatening• Inhibitions against retaliation diminish• Communication is reduced• Empathy is reduced • Zero-sum thinking increases (problem-

solving won’t work)

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Group dynamics reinforce conflict

• More militant leadership emerges• Runaway norms are established • Contentious group goals dominate• Group cohesiveness increases

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Communities become polarized

• Neutral community members are recruited

• Tendency to support the side that seems less blameworthy

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Costs of Conflict• Financial costs• Educational costs: takes energy away from

instruction, can interfere with needed consistency

• Human costs: stress, burnout, marital discord • Relationships: hurts relationships among people

who have to work together• Societal costs: parents, families, schools divided;

bad press for special education; missed opportunities

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Sources of Conflict

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Data

Interests

Structure

Values

Relationships

The Five Conflict Handling Modes

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Relationship Goals

Pe

rso

na

l Go

als

Compromising

Controlling Collaborating

AccommodatingAvoiding

Source: Thomas- Killman Conflict Mode Instrument

Avoiding • What is it:

– Sidestep, postpone, or withdraw from the issue for the present

• When to use it?– When potential harm outweighs

benefits to resolve– When time is needed to collect

information or cool down

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•What is it:Sidestep, postpone, or withdraw from the issue for the present

•When to use it?When potential harm outweighs benefits to resolveWhen time is needed to collect information or cool down

Pe

rso

na

l Go

als

Relationship Goals

Accommodating

• What is it?– Sacrifice your own personal goals to

satisfy the concerns of the other(s)– Yield to another point of view

• When to use it?– When relationships are most

important– Reach a quick, temporary solution

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Pe

rso

na

l Go

als

Relationship Goals

Controlling

• What is it?Pursue own ends without agreement of

othersAchieving one’s goals is paramount

• When to use it?When unpopular actions must be

implementedWhen dire consequences will be the

result of inaction

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Pe

rso

na

l Go

als

Relationship Goals

Compromising• What is it?

– Quick, mutually acceptable alternatives

– Both parties give up something• When to use it?

– When two parties of equal power are strongly committed to mutually exclusive goals

– To achieve temporary solutions to complex issues

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Pe

rso

na

l Go

als

Relationship Goals

Collaborating• What is it?

– Identifying concerns of each person and finding alternatives that meet both sets of needs

– Finding a solution that fully satisfies needs and concerns of both people

• When to use it?– When relationships & issues are both

important– To gain commitment and acceptance for a

high-quality decision

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Pe

rso

na

l Go

als

Relationship Goals

The Five Conflict Handling Modes

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Relationship Goals

Pe

rso

na

l Go

als Compromising

Controlling Collaborating

AccommodatingAvoiding

Source: Thomas-Killman Conflict Mode Instrument

What are Your Values? Achievement

Advancement/PromotionAdventure AffiliationBalance

Challenging Problems Change/Variety

Close RelationshipsCommunity

CompetenceCompetition

CooperationCreativity

DecisivenessEconomic security

Effectiveness Efficiency

Ethical practiceExcellenceExcitement

Fame Family

Fast Pace FlexibilityFreedom

FriendshipFun

GrowthHealth

Helping OthersHigh Earnings

Integrity Independence

Involvement/participationJob Tranquility

Knowledge Loyalty

Meaningful workMoney

Order (stability)

Physical ChallengePersonal

Development Precision Work

Pressure Power/Authority

Quality Recognition

Respect Reputation

SecuritySpiritualityStability

StatusTime Freedom

TraditionTrust

Work Alone Work w/Others

__________________________

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Pay Attention to Culture!Cultures have different ways of responding to conflict.

Culture shapes status, relationships and social behaviors with regard to conflict resolution.

Recognize that many people communicate and process information differently.

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Listening

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The Chinese characters that make up the verb “to listen” tell us

something about this skill.

EARS

Communication Loop

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Sender Receiver

Message

Reflective Listening

Filtering Lenses

What Contributes to the Meaning of What We Hear?

Intonation, Inflection, Volume, Speed, and Vocabulary =____%

Appearance, Posture, Gestures, Clothing, Surroundings = ____%

Verbal = ____%

From “Listening to People,” Harvard Business Review

38% 55% 7%

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Attending & Following Skills

• Environment• Posture• Contact (distance, eyes, touch)• Acknowledgment Responses• Gestures• Door Opening Questions• Open-Ended Questions• Interested Silence

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Responding Skills• Reflecting Feeling• Reflecting Content• Reflecting Meaning (linking feelings

and content)• Validating• Empathizing• Clarifying• Summarizing

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“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Stephen Covey, “Habit 5” Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

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Listening to Understand

Reflect Back:

FeelingContent Meaning-Values

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Three-part Listening

1 speaker (1-2 minutes)

3 listeners:1 listens for content (facts and thoughts)1 listens for feelings (spoken/underlying)1 listens for values

All listeners paraphrase what they heard

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Listening is a Disciplined Skill

• You can’t do two things at once if one of them is listening well.

• You can’t listen if you are trying to • figure out what to say.

• You can’t listen if you are assuming.

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“The most cost-effective component of a dispute resolution system is listening.”

Mary RoweMIT Ombuds & Scholar

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Listening Video

http://www.directionservice.org/cadre/Listening.cfm

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Structure of Problem Solving

Sharing Information Identifying Interests Generating Options Evaluating Potential Solutions

Reaching Agreement

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Positions & Interests

http://www.directionservice.org/cadre/understanding_pos.cfm

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Positions & Interests

Position• Specific solution proposed to resolve problem

- the “WHAT”

Interest • Underlying real need or desire that gives a

position its life (i.e., beliefs, expectations, values, fears, priorities, hopes, concerns)

- the “WHY”42

 

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Finding the Interests

• What need is the person taking this position attempting to satisfy?

• What is motivating the person?

• What is the person trying to accomplish?

• What is the person afraid will happen if a demand is not fulfilled?

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Questions to Elicit Interests

• “What would having that do for you?”• “What would that mean to you?”• “What would be different if you had that?”• "Why is that solution so important for you?“• “Why are you suggesting…?”• "What if that did/didn't happen?”• “How will you be affected by…?”

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What are Possible Underlying Interests?

• “It’s not appropriate to provide 30 minutes of speech therapy 5 days a week.”

• “We [parents] want an American Sign Language interpreter in that English Lit class.”

• “I demand an apology now!”46

Power Imbalances Inherent in Conflict

• Actual and perceived power may differ• Participants may not be equipped or supported

to participate effectively• Cultural differences may contribute• Recognize there are formal and informal forms of

power

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Addressing Power Imbalances

• Advocacy• Cultural Competence• Student Involvement• Well-facilitated processes and trained participants• Well-built relationships• Skilled neutral third party helpers

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Facets of Conflict

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People

Process

Problem

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Responding to High Energy People

•Attending Strategies

•Responding Strategies

Structure of Problem Solving

Sharing Information Identifying Interests Generating Options Evaluating Potential Solutions

Reaching Agreement

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Brainstorming

•Develop as many options as possible

•Thinking of an option does not mean committing to it

•No evaluation of options

•All ideas are welcome

Techniques for Generating Options

• Focus on specific interests• Assess needed information• Turn complaints into options• Encourage behavioral options• Shift perspectives• Let there be silence

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Structure of Problem Solving

Sharing Information Identifying Interests

Generating Options Evaluating Potential Solutions

Reaching Agreement

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Evaluating Potential Solutions

•Establish objective criteria

•Compare solution to criteria

•Is this option acceptable to all?

•How realistic is this?

•What obstacles exist?

Interest-based Negotiation• Aims not to change the other person, but to change

negotiation behavior.• Shifts from ”your position versus mine” to “you and I

versus the problem”.• Involves a mutual exploration of interests to yield

more creative options.• Uses objective criteria.

Adapted from Highnam, K. (2001). Interest-based negotiation,CCSEA 2001 Fall Conference and AGM. Surry B.C., Canada. CCSEA;

Fisher and Ury, Getting to Yes

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Structure of Problem Solving

Sharing Information Identifying Interests

Generating Options Evaluating Potential Solutions Reaching Agreement

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Make a Plan

•Be specific

•Who? What? When? Where? How?

•What if…? (contingency plans)

Facets of Conflict

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People

Process

Problem

Educating Our Children Together: A Sourcebook for Effective

Family-School-Community Partnerships

Strategy 1: Creating a family -friendly school environmentStrategy 2. Building a support infrastructureStrategy 3. Encouraging family involvementStrategy 4. Developing family-friendly communicationStrategy 5. Supporting family involvement on the home frontStrategy 6. Supporting education opportunities for familiesStrategy 7. Creating family-school-community partnershipsStrategy 8. Preparing educators to work with families

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Developed by CADRE

(the National Center for Appropriate Dispute Resolution in

Special Education), in association with Leila Peterson and CEDR (DoDEA’s

Center for Early Dispute Resolution)

Contact information:Anita Engiles, oregonmediator@gmail.com

Leila Peterson, Leila.Peterson@schooltalkdc.orgEllen Wayne, Ellen.Wayne@hq.dodea.edu

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