Effective Communication to Reduce Conflict

Employee Assistance Program (EAP)

Interpersonal RelationshipsBreaking it down…

Interpersonal -- existing or occurring between persons

Relationship -- connection, association or involvement an emotion or other connection between people

Inherent in these associations/connections between two people there may be concerns,

differences and conflicts.

And Building it up…

The most essential element for successful interpersonal relationships is:

Effective Communication

“Working and living in relationships with others is one of the most difficult things

we do”.

Communication is:

Information

Ideas

Feelings

Attitudes

Values

Beliefs

the sharing of

Hopes

Dreams

Fears

Frustrations

Faith

Meaning in Life

with understanding

Communication

The process used to send and interpret messages so that they are understood.

Three Elements of Communication

VocalTone &

Inflection

38%

BodyLanguage

55%

Words7%

93% of communication

is non-verbal

Interpersonal Relationship conflicts are caused by:

Strong emotions

Misperceptions/stereotypes

Poor communication

Miscommunication

Repetitive negative behavior

Objectives of Effective Communication

The receiver interprets the message as the sender intended it.

It achieves the sender’s purposes.

Meaning of Words

The 500 most commonly used words in the English language have an average of 28 meanings each.

The three-letter word “run” has more than one hundred different uses.

“ R u n n i n g l a t e t o a m e e ti n g ”

“A RUN IN MY STOCKING”

Connotations of Words

Word

average

cheap

conservative

determined

flashy

liberal

slender

traditional

Sender’s Meaning

normal

inexpensive

moderate

committed

striking

fair

lean

old-fashioned

Receiver’s Connotation

mediocre

poorly made

radical

stubborn

gaudy

radical

skinny

dated

Sends clear messages

Is in touch with feelings

Does not assume the other person knows what he/she is thinking, feeling, etc. (and perhaps, that those thoughts or feelings are shared by the other person)

Uses language, concepts, experience that other person can understand, appreciate

Checks to see if the other person understands what he/she is sharing

The Sender

Listens

Acknowledges feelings

Is open or concerned about hearing what the other person is conveying

Does not make assumptions or stereotypes based on the past

Hears and interprets messages of others not using our personal filter.

Checks to see what he/she is hearing and interprets the message accurately

The Receiver

Effective Communication

Speak directly to person involved – pay attention to your body language

Use of 3 part statements:Identify behaviorIdentify how you feel about the behaviorIdentify the impact the behavior has on you

Use “I” statements to convey impact of behavior

Convey your needs Establish clear limits and consequences Check for understanding Use “active listening”

Listening

Definition To make a conscious effort to hear and attend closely:

Requires effort

Is active, not passive

How do you know someone is listening to you?

Active ListeningWhat is active listening?

Some examples of active listening include:Use of encouraging wordsBody languageUse of empathy Open ended questionsClarifying questionsCheck for mutual understandingBe in the moment

Why Does Communication Break Down?

Personal style

Barriers:

• Internal

• External

What is your communication style?

Basic Communication Styles-Passive

Not clearly stating what one thinks, feels or wants. The message is one’s own needs, feelings, and desires are less important that the others’.

Goal is to please, to be liked, and avoid conflict.

Resulting feelings are anxious, ignored, hurt, and manipulated.

Benefits are avoiding unpleasant situations and conflicts.

Standing up for one’s rights and believing they are more important than others rights’.

Goal is to win, to dominate, to assert power, to intimidate.

Resulting feelings are self righteous, controlling, superior.

Benefits are to feel control or power, to release anger.

Beliefs are either him/her or me and it’s not going to be me if I can help it, “dog eat dog world.”

Basic Communication Styles-Aggressive

Respectfully and clearly stating what you think feel or want.

Goal is to give/receive respect while making known opinions, wants or feelings, and to communicate effectively.

Resulting feelings are feeling confident and successful.

Benefits are feeling good about oneself and experiencing respect from others.

Beliefs are being honest and not blaming.

Basic Communication Styles-Assertive

Barriers to Effective Communication

Internal and External:

Noise or other physical/environmental distracters

Sender’s and or receiver’s internal noise Lack of interest or motivation Lack of comprehension Disagreement Bias of either toward the other

What Can We Do To Ensure Effective Communication?

Practice Effective Communication. It is the key to successful relationships at work and at home.

Demonstrate Active Listening skills…clear messages, accurate reception and interpretation.

Be self-aware. Take personal responsibility and remember perspective.

Manage your stress. Pace yourself. Use wide-angle lens. Train for change. Take good care of yourself. Develop and use your support system.

You can only care for others to the degree that you take care of yourself.

You Can:

Something to Think About…..

The greatest problem of communication is the

illusion that it has been accomplished.

~George Bernard Shaw

For more information, contact…

Elizabeth Robinson, Managerrobinson@nso.uchc.edu

or call 860-679-2877Ct toll free: 800-852-4392

EMPLOYEE ASSISTANCE PROGRAM