barry magid

8/3/2019 Barry Magid

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/barry-magid 1/12

Going It Alone

Mkig I Wk

Ufi Bui

Fuig Norman Fscher, Judy Lef,

Barry Magd, Gaylon Ferguson,

Sylva Boorsten, Lews Rchmond

Pu mm m

ufi Bui

g o n z a l o

q U I n t e r o s



Buddhsm’s New Poneersby Norman Fscher

It’s possible that most Western Buddhists are “unaliated.”

That is, they practice alone or in small inormal groups not

listed in the phone book or on the web. There is thereore no

record, no ocial trace, o their activity. They practice o

the books.

I you’re unailiated, maybe you became interested in

Buddhism through reading, or in school, or maybe you met a

Buddhist practitioner whose approach to lie intrigued you.

Perhaps you traveled in Asia. Chances are you are unaliated

because you can’t nd a Buddhist center nearby. But I suspect

that many unaliated practitioners do live near Buddhistcenters but don’t want to go to them because they don’t like

“organized religion.” This may be due to a bad experience in

the past, perhaps in childhood, or because o a strongly held

opinion that organized religion is always bad, on principle.

According to this essentially romantic view (that many

aliated Buddhists share ), “organized religion,” meaning all

identiable religion, is—or should be—an oxymoron. That’s

because real religion, according to this view, is essentially per-

sonal and dynamic, and is killed o by all attempts to organize

it into doctrine and institution. Religion as we know it kills

religion. So it is better to rebel against religion, or the sake

o religion.Notice that on both counts—whether one is unable

or unwilling to “join”—the assumption is the same: that

Buddhism is conned to Buddhist centers. But suppose this

isn’t true, or at least not entirely true. What i Buddhism—

Buddhism that is as Buddhist as any Buddhism—can also be

ound outside conventional Buddhist institutions?

33 SPRiNG 2010 BUddhadharMa: the PractItIoner’s qUarterly



buddhadharma: the practitioner’s quarterly SPRiNG 2010 34

Lately I have been ascinated with the

idea o the evolution o religion. When

Nietzsche pronounced God dead in the

nineteenth century, he was not alone.

Freud quickly ollowed, as did others.

Religion was dying because humans were

growing out o it. Religion had been anecessary, i somewhat juvenile, phase

o human development. There was a

time when we needed comort and an-

ciul explanations or things we couldn’t

understand. But now that we were grown

up and scientiically minded, religion

would naturally ade away and be rel-

egated to nostalgia, history, and myth.

It turns out this wasn’t true. Human

beings seem to need religion, just as we

need language, ood, and air, and this iswhy religion has always existed in human

societies, rom earliest times to the pres-

ent, and why it will probably continue to

exist. Some activity, some thought, some

eeling that helps us extract meaning and

signicance rom our lives is necessary,

because we human beings are creatures

uniquely capable o living meaningless

lives, and we desperately need to avoid

this. Without meaning and signicance

we literally get sick or go crazy. Religion

is our coping mechanism, our naturalhealing activity. Eorts to transpose reli-

gious practice and eeling into politics

during the twentieth century (commu-

nism) ailed spectacularly. Art has been

signiicant as a substitute, but it isn’t

enough. Neither is psychology. So reli-

gion is almost certainly here to stay.

Everything in human society changes

over time, and religion does too. Neolithic

religion was quite dierent rom the

Zoketsu NormaN Fischer bb sn

Fn Zn cn nd nd nd pl d

ed Zn Fndn, n gnzn ddd

dpng Zn Bdd ng Wn l.

so-called Axial religions (Buddhism,

Judeo-Christianity, Conucianism,

Brahmanism, etc.), and these religions in

their ormative centuries were quite di-

erent rom their this-worldly manies-

tations (Protestantism, Shin Buddhism,

etc.), which allowed modernism tofourish.

We are now in the twenty-rst cen-

tury, but we still have a nineteenth-cen-

tury view o religion. We see religion as

a set o coherent doctrines, rituals, and

hierarchies that take shape within real-

estate-based institutions. We might be

aliated with such institutions or not.

We may prize their doctrines without

being aliated, or we may be hostile

to all o it. But whatever the case, whatwe aliate with or prize or reject is a

centuries-old view o religion.

Intellectual lie o the last ty or more

years has been mostly about the break-

down o hierarchies, the relativism o

doctrines, and the doubtulness o real-

estate-based institutions in an increas-

ingly network-based world. Religion

needs to absorb these developments.

Probably it is in the process o doing so.

But our thinking has not yet caught up

with it.All o this might provide context or

understanding with new appreciation the

position o the “unaliated Buddhist.”

It may also help us to appreciate the dis-

tinction people these days so requently

insist on making: “I’m not religious at

all! I’m spiritual.” It seems to me that

some o the liveliest religion going these

days is not in Buddhist centers, churches,

synagogues, or other oicial religious

institutions. It’s taking place in the soli-

tude o the private home, in living rooms

and community centers, in book groups,

twelve-step meetings, women’s and men’s

groups, private meditation prayer or

study gatherings, corporate leadership

classes, human potential workshops,yoga and improv classes, stress-reduction

clinics, coaching seminars. And, perhaps,

in the practice o unaliated Buddhists.

Everywhere I look, what I would call

“religious questions,” questions o ulti-

mate meaning and ultimate connection,

are spilling out o the ocial religious

institutions and entering the society in

various way. Some o these ways, to be

sure, are supercial or exploitive, but

it’s natural in times o social change thatthe aulty comes along with the sincere.

Religion is evolving under our noses, but

we are not noticing it because we are

stuck on old orms and old terminolo-

gies. It may be that among Buddhists, the

“unaliated” are our leaders without

knowing they are, rather than the poor

souls who either by choice or by circum-

stances have been let out in the cold. As

they umble to nd their way, perhaps

they are nding the way or us all.

This is not to say that these una-

liated individuals and small inormal

Buddhist pick-up groups are the good

guys, while the conventional Buddhists

are the bad guys, old-ashioned and mor-

ibund. I we have learned anything over

the last decades, as technologies and

social orms have morphed and multi-

plied, it is that nothing disappears; it just

changes its unction.

I think o the great world religions



35

as sel-contained high-rise buildings.

Christianity is a massive Cathedral-like

structure. Islam is a giant multi-tiered and

-storied mosque. And Buddhism is a huge

tower, like the great stupa at Bodhgaya

but many times bigger. Completely

enclosed within each o these separateuniquely designed yet essentially similar

structures a coherent conversation has

been going on or millennia among intel-

ligent and highly committed interlocu-

tors who share an intellectual system, a

history, and a set o rituals and practices

that inorm them. Because the conver-

sation is so thorough and so old, and

because its theme involves what is most

mysterious and most undamental about

human lie, it is essential that we not losetrack o it. These various conversations

are human treasures, and we need them

now probably more than ever.

In the past i you wanted to partici-

pate in these conversations you had to

move into the building, because the

rule then was that only people who per-

manently resided in the building could

speak and listen to the conversation. At

that time it was possible or people to

do this, because they could be more or

less content living entirely inside one o those buildings.

But times have changed drastically.

In a global world where all the build-

ings have windows and TV screens, and

where citizens are so psychologically

open and aware that our various identi-

ties and impulses can no longer be sub-

limated or suppressed, very ew people

can be satised with moving into one o

those buildings and simply remaining

there. Many o us can visit one or more

buildings briefy, or we can stay in one

but only during the daytime, because we

have to sleep elsewhere. Or maybe we

can stay or several months, a year, or

several years, but eventually we have to

go out into the street, in the open air,among the various bazaars, stalls, and

markets, where other things we also need

can be ound. The buildings don’t need

to be knocked down. They are beautiul,

and we need them. It’s just that they can

no longer contain all the dimensions o

who we are. They need to be used dier-

ently, understood dierently.

In the articles that ollow, unaliated

practitioners will ind much to think

about that will be o use to their situ-ations. The question or anyone inter-

ested in Buddhist practice is, “How do

I discover meaning and nd transorma-

tion?” This is a challenge, whether we

are aliated or unaliated, though per-

haps a greater challenge or those who

don’t enjoy the resources or the support

o coherent institutions and communi-

ties. For them there is perhaps more

loneliness, more doubt and conusion.

The essays that ollow will help. But the

unaliated practitioner can take some

heart, I hope, in the refections above.

You might well be engaged in pioneering

work, whether you realize it or intend

it or not. Though you may eel alone, I

am sure that religious practice is always

a community endeavor: we always prac-

tice together, even i it seems that we are

apart, each o us doing what we can,

what we are given to do by our situation

and our passion.

Comments rom unafliated Buddhists

i ng d pl nd

w d lgn. s i lng

lg l nd lng blng-

ng, wll pp pl p-

g, b i n g p b

ll bggg. i n n

dpng n l’ “.” i wldl nd Zn gp ll

(i g w ld “an”) f,

b ng gp l l p

Jpn . i l Jpn nd

Zn l, b ’ j n .

Chris Herrod

Healdsburg, Caliornia

i p p n wn ng dwn-

ld d l D sdnd . cnl, i’ d n

t B’ w. in ddn, i d

pbln nd b b Bdd w.

a pn n p, i wld nd

ng b nnng nd dng. i

n l Bdd nd n tw-

. i pp nd pn i’

bn, b wng.

Diane D’Angelo

Phoenix, Arizona

W i nd dl n l p

b nn— , d.

W bn lpl

p i nw i n lll. in ,

’ dng nn bw (pn) ng

nng. t’ lw ,

nd l n nn

d— n nng, b ndl

dng d. Bwng l g dn

n!tg i’ nl nld, i

pd nnl n b Bdd

n nd pl. Png w -

n d ndnl dn

n bl p ln, nd w

nl “wn p,”

l ng wld b wnd, pd,

nd “wn ” n “gld .”

Dave Laser

Rio Rico, Arizona



36

Thanks to the eorts o translators,

practitioners, and scholars, we have

access to an abundance o magazines,

journals, books, articles, videos, pod-

casts, and websites about Buddhism in

all its diverse orms. Dierent Buddhist

schools emphasize dierent aspects o

the tradition and have varying guide-

lines regarding the proper balance o

study and practice. And when it comes

to study, dierent schools o Buddhismocus on completely dierent primary

texts and commentaries.

Practitioners studying within a par-

ticular sangha may ollow a customary

curriculum, and be guided in their stud-

ies by teachers within their community.

But or the independent practitioner,

there is no clear roadmap. The sheer

volume o material to study can be over-

whelming, and so can guring out where

t lng n Bdd

n, w bn l b b n

pp b n ng gn w n

ln-wl pn nd wld.

t ll dd w

b nw dwn

nddl png. a ll,

Bdd w j n pn dng

n wd; ddn’ n p l lgn. W nw w ’d n

ng d, pll w

d n W. i n n-

nd pl pn nn

nd p, n nx gnn

nd dn lng

nn nd . hw, i n

n n ll lll ng g n

ng w ng pll p

p.

James R. Ure

Loveland, Colorado

i l n G Pln. in wn w

l ng w ll Bd-

d gp. F mdwn wn,

pll gbd. W l

gp lnng, gglng, nd g

Bdd. i p n

lg znd pl. i d -

d p l i , nd d Bdd w

nn nnl

dg.

Wl i w i w nld

w lg gp xpnd

, i n ng j n

w . and wn ll l l, i

sng.

John Pappas

Rapid City, South Dakota

to start. So it is probably best to begin at

the beginning—with yoursel.

Some people love to practice and hate

to study, and other people love to study

and hate to practice. Which type o per-

son are you? I studying comes easy or

you, it is possible to conuse intellectual

understanding with real understanding.

I studying is more dicult or you and

practice is easier, it is possible to hide out

in a vague understanding o meditativeexperience and ail to challenge yoursel

intellectually or to develop a sophisti-

cated understanding o the dharma.

So beore you launch into urther

study, study yoursel. I you are more

scholarly you could balance that by

more practice, and i you are more prac-

tice-oriented, you could balance that

with more study and analysis. Bring-

ing together study and practice so that

Teachngs: Get Ready to Dve in

By Judy Lef



37 SPRiNG 2010 buddhadharma: the practitioner’s quarterly

they balance and support one another

creates a strong ground or developing

your understanding o the dharma and

progressing along the path.

Having established that ground, look

into how to study the teachings. Dharmastudy is not simply about acquiring inor-

mation; it is a process o transormation

and deep refection. Instead o reading

one book ater another, amassing more

and more inormation, you might go over

the same text, or even the same short pas-

sage, over and over again, and come back

to it year ater year. Each time you go

over it, question what is really being said,

its relevance, how it can be applied, and

whether it rings true to your own experi-ence and observation o the world.

Traditionally, it is said that dharmic

understanding develops in three stages:

hearing, contemplating, and meditating.

Developing an intellectual understand-

ing o a text or presentation is just the

rst step, called hearing. You then need

to wrestle with the material so that it

begins to sink in, so in the practice o

contemplation, you make a direct, per-

sonal, and quite intimate relationship

with the material you are studying. Whenyour understanding deepens to the point

o mastery—when it’s in your bones—

that is the third stage, meditating.

Once you have examined what it

means to study, how do you choose what

to study? A smorgasbord o options

awaits, and you could begin almost

anywhere. You could choose to explore

a particular tradition such as Zen, or

you could begin with an overview o

the Buddhist tradition in general, or the

lie o the ounder, Shakyamuni Bud-

dha. You could explore the many dier-

ent styles o teaching, rom traditional

sutras and commentaries, to biographies

and lie stories, to works by contempo-rary Asian meditation masters or West-

ern Buddhist teachers. You could listen

to talks online, read poetry, look at art.

There are many dierent teachers,

many dierent styles o dharma teach-

ing, and many dierent media or pre-

senting the teaching. You could begin

by exploring widely, and in the process

you may discover an anity or one or

another teacher, tradition, or approach,

which may help you to narrow yoursearch and guide your studies in a certain

direction. It is also possible that as you

are looking or the right book, unexpect-

edly, the tables are turned and the right

book nds you.

At this point in history, there is a

greater abundance o dharma available

to ordinary practitioners than in any pre-

vious era. That is a great blessing, and

at the same time, quite overwhelming.

But no matter how much you read, how

many talks you hear, or how many web-

sites you visit, there is no guarantee that

there will be any real benet. It is good

to accumulate knowledge, but it is bet-

ter to let that knowledge transorm you.

The benet comes in the meeting point

between you and the dharma, when a

seemingly outer teaching strikes a deep

inner chord.

Only you know how you are approach-

ing your studies. Only you can decide

what kind o relationship you want to

have with the dharma, how deep or how

shallow you want it to be. Basically, howmuch you put into it, is how much ben-

et will you derive—no more, no less.

And as you progress, the eect o your

study will be determined not simply by

your learnedness, but by the changes in

your character, by your urther gentle-

ness and sanity.

The dharma is like an ocean, which

is too big to consume and too heavy

to carry along as your accoutrement.

You cannot put it into your book bag

or capture it in your DVD player. Nomatter where you begin, or whether you

are an independent practitioner or ali-

ated with a particular tradition, there is

plenty o room or you there. All you

have to do is to dive in.

JuDy LieF n acharya , n , n

sbl Bdd dn nd

Making Friends with Death: A Buddhist Guide to

Encountering Mortality . c h U c k

l I e F




Zen master Dogen (1200–1253) said

that zazen was not a meditation tech-

nique but was instead the dharma gate

o enjoyment and ease. Yet how oten

we stray rom that reminder, especially

when we are sitting alone.

A technique is something we can doright or wrong, well or badly. True prac-

tice is about being grounded in a place

ree rom these dichotomies. So we need

to rame our practice in such a way that

we do not get lost in dualisms o right or

wrong, progress or the lack o it.

I have ound that a good way o

maintaining this perspective is to liken

sitting to looking in a mirror. When

you sit down on your cushion, the

state o your mind and body automati-

cally appears to you, the way your ace

instantly appears in a mirror. The mirror

does all the work. You can’t do it right

or wrong. Approach your sitting in the

same way. You can’t do it wrong. It’s

not a technique to master or somethingyou can ail at. It’s just being yoursel,

being your experience o this moment,

over and over. It’s simple, but i we’re

honest, not always easy.

Why? Because we don’t always

like what we see in the mirror. We are

tempted to either turn away or try to

touch up our image. We want our sitting

to make us what we are not; we want

to be calm, clear, or enlightened. We’d

Practce: You Can’t Do it WrongBy Barry Magd



39

like to be able to call that rejection o

our sel just as we are “aspiration,” but

all too oten it’s just another word or

sel-hate. Sitting, rst and oremost, is

sitting with who we are—what we see

in the mirror. Our practice is to sit and

look and say to ourselves, over and over,“That’s me.”

Cherish your questions, but do not

chase ater answers. Sit still amid your

doubt, restlessness, loneliness, and anxi-

ety. They are not obstacles to your prac-

tice—they are your practice.

Practice will expose the roots o our

emotional distress. The Buddha taught,

and our practice will reairm, that

our underlying ear o change and our © t I M

d o s e

i bb nd d w dn

Bdd jnl, nd pbbl d

b w n n bj, nd i’

nnl ndd i ll wn

dlp p, i nd jn ng.

Dp i dn’

ppn n id, i’ n llndd w jnng ng wld lp

p. m “p” Zn:

p bng ndl.

i d n n

n w d (dpndng n w

i’ wng x w),

nd b w nd pn w i ,

nd n w i’ dng. s w i’

ng b n jnng ng? hw wld

lp ? W wld i “gn?” (and

ll nng gn?) i’ dl qn n ,

b n’ bn bl nw .

Timothy David Orme

Boise, Idaho

i d ndng l ng, b

n l g . sn i n

spn Bl d Bdd,

n ng dnl

. i pbbl d w wldw.t bl nd wd

nd dnl, w wll nd

l gp pd

p. and w nd wd

nl nd pdn wldw, l

w wll nd. e w, w nd

n w Bdd l-

, npn, nd n.

William Harryman

Tucson, Arizona

unavoidable physical vulnerability leads

us in the utile attempt to hold onto

something permanent, to imagine—

against all the evidence—that our “sel”

can somehow be made invulnerable.

Though we may start out with the an-

tasy that practice will be the road to that

invulnerability, it turns out to be just the

opposite. Practice teaches us to sit with

the vulnerability we all try to avoid,

and to gradually learn to abide withinthe ongoing fux o our ever-changing

consciousness and ever-shiting physical

sensations.

When we rst look into a mirror, we

naturally ocus on our own ace and how

we think we look to ourselves and oth-

ers. But i we look longer, and gradually

become less preoccupied with how we

look, we may start to notice that the rest

o the room behind us is also refected in

the mirror. Maybe there is even a win-

dow in the room, and the world outsideis also glimpsed in our mirror. The room,

the window, the outside world—all that

is also part o the “me” we see in the

mirror. The more we look, the more we

see in the mirror, the more we include,

and the harder it is to draw a bound-

ary between “me” and everything else

in the mirror. It’s all “me.” So although

you think you are sitting alone, you may

gradually become aware that you are sit-

ting in the midst o the whole world.I you’re reading this, you’re not

practicing alone. You are connected to a

community o ellow readers and prac-

titioners who are all trying to nd their

way on the path. Let us enjoy our prac-

tice together.

Barry maGiD Zn nd nd

odn mnd Znd n Nw y. h l

p nd pnl nd

Ending the Pursuit o Happiness: A Zen Guide.



40

We are human beings walking a path o

liberation, and the value o community is

linked to our undamental humanity.

As Suzuki Roshi said, “Buddha-

nature is just another name or our

human nature.” As human beings, we

are strongly aected by those around us:

we share in their joys and sorrows; we

look at what is happening in our imme-

diate environment and eel discouraged

or inspired. Nowadays, evolutionary

scientists tell us we are “hardwired” as

social beings; it is human nature to be

infuenced by our association with am-

ily, riends, colleagues, neighbors, the

communities we work and live in. The

English word “infuenza” comes romthe same root, and the view here is that

awakening is positively contagious: we

catch each other’s wisdom and compas-

sion, because wakeul examples resonate

so strongly with our own innate nature.

In the various Buddhist traditions,

“sangha” sometimes means, primar-

ily, the community o nuns and monks

walking the path, but more generally it

includes all those committed to wak-

ing up. So we could extend this view o practicing in community—let us receive

inspiration rom the examples o basic

goodness we encounter around us, rom

the people who are maniesting brav-

ery and compassion in everyday lie.

Whether they are religiously aliated or

not, surely these are spiritual warriors,

and our own commitment to cultivat-

ing earlessness is strengthened by their

shining examples.

Communty: Extendng the Vew of SanghaBy Gaylon Ferguson

When we appreciate the kindness o

a co-worker or the thoughtulness o a

neighbor, we enter a virtuous gathering—

whether we are in a zendo, temple, or

meditation center at that moment or not.

So, nding the noble community o the

wakeul is in part a matter o perception.

In this wider sense, traditional teachings

on the supreme value o Noble Sangha

are part o a “lion’s roar” proclaiming

the undamental goodness o all beings,

encouraging our appreciation o the san-

ity and warmth in the diverse communi-

ties around us.

Yet what about the neurotic conusion,

the selshness, and the greed we also see

in our social environments? These tooact as a mirror or us, reminding us o

the strength o our own habitual patterns

o delusion. There is something uncom-

ortably amiliar in seeing others’ acts o

stupidity and aggression. Inner mindul-

ness is sparked to take note o our own

thoughts, speech, and actions—and their

harmul or helpul eects. As Jamgon

Kongtrul the Great wrote: “Seeing bad

qualities in others is like looking in the

mirror at the dirt on one’s own ace.”We are all engaged in a learning process

together, and the eedback we receive

rom others (even i not always egolessly

pure) can be very valuable in guiding our

journey.

So the path here is to value our exist-

ing connections, whether it’s as part o

an environmental action group or hang-

ing out with others ater a strenuous

yoga class. Our individual spiritual prac-

tice bears ruit in these collective human

interactions.

The great Tibetan meditation master

Patrul Rinpoche oten greeted his students

this way: “Has your heart been kind?”

How we are with others is a revealing mir-

ror. We should be somewhat suspicious o

any developing sense o “personal awak-

ening” that does not show up as increased

compassion and care or others’ well-being.

Wisdom shows its smiling ace in the spon-

taneous joy o being with others.

i l n w i n b bgg

pln nw w n Zn

n. N w g. i ln d l sn Fn Zn

cn, wll n b s hgn

n mnnpl. tn i d.

Wn i’ n hl, i’ w nd

w nd . i b, i’ll g n

. i nn ndln

g d. s w,

dn’. Wn dn’,

i n nd n w i’ dng.

Bwn dng, dng, nd lnng

l, i wl p b i n.Walter Riggs

Birmingham, Alabama

i n bn jn. i’ l ln,

nd i’ nl l l bl w-

n w (n i’ll nd wl).

i ddd ng l-

lgn i dd,

p pl pn nd

gd. N l, n wd l.

Joan Ryburg

Cave Junction, Oregon

i p w nld Bdd

pn j pnn n -

n gw Wn Bdd. i l n

j epn nd, n ,

n ppn p n ng

gp nnn. hw, b

dnd w nd l lnd ( b n) n nddl

ppn n p, i p p

ln.

i’ ndng gp ng

wld p dplnd

n . y, n pn n,

i d l i p -gwng

Bdd n n nn.

Paul

Barcelona, Spain



41 SPRiNG 2010 buddhadharma: the practitioner’s quarterly

Appreciating spiritual companion-

ship means associating with any wake-

ul groups dedicated to compassionate

activity. I slander and sarcasm are the

daily bread o our communal meals,

the determination to awaken gradually

weakens and grows dim. Basic coni-

dence and lie-orce energy decline. Ina chapter in Ruling Your World called

“Hanging Out With the Right Crowd,”

Sakyong Mipham asks: “Lie is precious.

Whom are we going to spend it with?”

GayLoN FerGusoN Natural

Wakeulness: Discovering the Sanity We Are Born

With. h lg nd ndpln

d Np un n Bld, cld,

nd n acharya n sbl Bdd

dn.

Two o my most signiicant ongoing

practice opportunities are dedicated

commitments with riends who live time

zones away and whom I rarely meet in

person. My riends are teachers, as I am,

but in both cases we are not trying to

teach each other. Rather we are riends

learning together.The Buddha emphasized the impor-

tance o spiritual riendship. It is said

that Ananda, one o his principal disci-

ples, asked, “Is it true, Lord, that noble

riends are hal o the holy lie?” The

Buddha is said to have responded, “No,

Ananda. It’s not true. Noble riends are

the whole o the holy lie.”

Carol and I have been sending each

other daily gratitude emails or several

years. The general orm is, “Today what

I am grateul or is…” They aren’t let-

ters. Sometimes one o us responds to

a specic item in the other’s email. “I’m

grateul or your colleagues who sup-

port your being with your amily during

this dicult time,” or, “I’m gladdened

to know that you returned rom thatlong trip saely and eeling good.” For

the most part, though, we each use the

daily communication as an attempt to

continually rame our experience in a

way that preserves (or establishes) mind-

ul acceptance o it. I might, or example,

write: “Everything went wrong today.

There was terrible trac and then…”

You get the idea.

Oten a complaint narrative works

Mentors: Sprtual Frends Help Gude the WayBy Sylva Boorsten

s a n d y

M a n s F I e l d




itsel out in the telling and some redemp-

tive aspect o it becomes apparent.

Sometimes that doesn’t happen. Then

the email might end, “So, you can hear

that I am completely annoyed and irri-

table and that I haven’t xed that up, yet

so I am grateul that it is you that I am

writing to and that I can depend on you

to hear me raying at the seams and love

me anyway.” The nal gratitude is oten

enough to undo the mind’s grasp o the

“I’m so mad!” story. It disappears—

“Poo!”—just like that, and I end up

laughing. Carol and I are teaching each

other about love and emptiness.

Jashoda lives in Mexico and we

keep our connection going by reading

books we’ve chosen together and talk-

ing by phone once a month about what

we’ve learned. Oten, but not always,the books are explicitly dharma books.

This month we are reading Yongey

Mingyur Rinpoche’s The Joy of Living

(new to both o us) and Herman Hesse’s

The Glass Bead Game, which we both

read long ago and think we recall as

being something wonderul. I nd that

having “homework,” a task I need to

complete by a certain date, energizes me.

I like the eeling o being a disciplined

person in relationship. I’m traveling all

this month, and seeing the books as

I pack and unpack at each new place

keeps Jashoda and our pact o mutual

support in my mind. Without my “study

buddy,” I might not make the time to

read these books or to process them in

the same way.

For me it’s a real blessing to know that

I have riends who are interested in my

inner lie and are willing to listen as I

explore it, and I love oering them the

same attention. The orms my riends and

I have chosen, exchanging emails and

reading books, work or us. But the orms

can be varied. I can imagine riends com-

mitting to communicate regularly about

their meditation experience, or about

their progress in cultivating patience, or

generosity, or truthulness, or indeed, anyo the virtues that are undamental to

Buddhist practice. The hallmark o any

spiritual riendship is the shared commit-

ment to partnering on behal o awaken-

ing. That’s what matters most.

syLvia BoorsteiN ndng sp

r mdn cn n Wd, cln.

s plg nd Happiness

Is an Inside Job: Practicing or a Joyul Lie.

What f? Gudelnes for Choosng a TeacherBy Lews Rchmond

You may be perectly content to study

and practice the dharma on your own,

without a Buddhist teacher or commu-nity. But the time may come when you

eel that isn’t enough, and you decide

you want to seek one out. I that hap-

pens, how do you go about nding a

teacher (and by extension, a commu-

nity) that’s right or you?

It’s important to know that the wis-

dom you’re seeking is already within

you. It guides your spiritual search, and

is the reason you are already on the path.

So to some extent you can rely on your

own instincts and intuition to help you.

With that in mind, I recommendapproaching your search as a ve-step

process: watch, ask, feel, try it on, and

commit .

Watch what the teacher does and

says, and how he or she treats people.

Kindness, riendliness, humility, a sense

o humor, and a orthright and honest

manner are qualities o spiritual matu-

rity recognized by every Buddhist tra-

dition. They are the precepts in action.



i ll nj png n wn and

ng nl xp wd

n g n ll ng.

hng b n pl n

n l fng, b

n l, w nn

w ppl nd b ndd

npn d n ll

.

i dnl ln n

p, b i wld ngl ng

ppng n ll dn gp,

n ng n. o nl b

x ppl, w nn

b ll ll pp.

t N hn g b

lld Friends on the Path: Living Spiritual

Communities , w pln q b

bldng jnng ng. m

n lld “W d wn n n

w p.”

ann

inddl p dnl pl -

, b w n llwng -

n j ng .

on nd, g, w n g

nd nd lp. i nw p gn

l nd i’ d q-

n w . i’ d n

ppl—g nn, pn ll,

nd ndng d l—nd d

l nd w l n p.

a n b nd nw. i nw,

b n , “ g”

lld, l-

dn. i ln n ng ,

pn, pn, nd g p.

t p, nddl p n b nlgnng, b w nd

ndg gdn n

w ld b lng

p. t g ng , w n

d nd pln , f n

g . rgdl,

’ p w w d

. B dng !

Nate DeMontigny

Yarmouth, Massachusetts

Some say you should watch a teacher

or three years beore accepting him or

her. I’m not sure that is realistic or nec-

essary, but whether it is three weeks or

three years, take your time.

Ask questions, and don’t be shy. See

how the teacher responds. Don’t be rude,

but don’t hold back either. Questions

that eel dumb are oten the best ques-

tions. When I was with my root teacher,

I wanted to look good to him and so I

tended not to ask questions that exposed

my ignorance. I regret that. A good

teacher will not be oended or deensive

about such questions.

Also, when asking questions, ask

everyone. The teacher’s close students

know him or her best. Find out what they

know or are willing to share. In assess-

ing their responses, use your “wisdomstomach.” I there are any secrets about

the teacher or the community that you

need to know, these students are your

best sources.

How do you feel? Ater watching

and asking, take stock o your own gut

eeling. Is your eeling about the teacher

pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral? That

eeling is a clue. There is a principle in

Buddhism—in Zen we call it innen—

which can be translated as “ainity”or “coincidence.” It reers to the causes

and conditions o human relationship

that have brought you and the teacher

together. For a teacher–student relation-

ship to work, there needs to be this sense

o ainity. You should eel a positive

regard or the teacher. I not, this teacher

may not be right or you.

Try it on. Ater watching, asking,

and eeling, it may be a time to “try it

on.” A good teacher or community will

oer some level o provisional commit-

ment—a chance to accept the teacher

more deeply without throwing yoursel

o a cli. Depending on the tradition,

this might involve a ceremony, private

interview, or acceptance into a retreat or

more intensive level o practice.

Be cautious about a teacher or com-

munity that requires a lie-changing, irre-

vocable commitment up ront. Quitting

your job, being ordained as a monk or

nun, giving away money or property,

becoming a ull-time resident—these

might conceivably be in your uture, or

not. But wherever your spiritual path

leads you, these decisions are yours, not

someone else’s.

Time to commit . The Buddhist path

eventually requires commitment as well

as trust. In your developing relationship

with a teacher, there may come a time

when both o you are ready or a com-

mitment. I this time has come, don’t hold

back. Perhaps it will be good; perhaps it

will turn out to be a mistake. In the end,

you need to put one oot in ront o the

other, and see where the path leads you.

All seekers o the Way have done this.

In dharma, as in lie, there are no

guarantees. Things that count involve

risk. As they say in sports, “No guts,no glory.” Good luck!

LeWis richmoND nd vl

sng n mll vll, cln, nd

vl, “ld Bdd.” h l

w sg P ongng tnng

(sPot) pg.

g I B

r o B I n s o n

barry magid

Documents