8 secrets to success workshop

The 8 Secrets of Life (and School) Success!

# 1: Personal ResponsibilityDo I use my power or

relinquish it?

Do I think like a victim or a creator?

A victim thinks about challenges like this:

• It was his/her fault!• Nothing ever goes right for

me.• I couldn’t finish because my

life is so busy I didn’t have time.

• I’ll retake the class but I’m not going to like it or change the way I did it the first time!

A creator thinks about challenges like this:

• It was my fault!• I always have choices and

will continue to try.• I will make this a priority to

finish, and let go of some other things for a short time.

• If I change the way I do it this time, things will work out better.

Do I live like a Victim or a Creator?

Victim• Behave as if I am helpless?

• Relinquish choices?

• Live passively?

• Feel as if the world is against me?

• Repeat the same old mistakes over and over?

Creator • Attempt to help myself or seek

help?• Recognize choices are yours even

if none of them are perfect?

• Take action & live with passion?

• Believe I am responsible for the outcome of my life?

• Change my behaviors if they don’t get me where I want to be?

What makes me look at life positively or negatively (like a victim or a

creator)?

The voices in my head!• Inner Critic = I’m not capable• Inner Defender = I could but

someone else stood in my way • Inner Guide = I am capable. I will

take responsibility for myself.

# 2 Self MotivationWhat’s important to me and

how do I get there?

Value x Expectation = Motivation to make and complete goals

• What value does my goal have for me? 1. What will it give me?2. How important is it to my life? 3. Is it my goal and not someone else’s?

• Do I expect (believe) I can accomplish this goal?

• If the value is high and my expectation to achieve the goal is high, my motivation will be high.

My success is more guaranteed if my goal is:

• Dated – Does it have a tangible beginning and end?

• Achievable – Is it reasonable within my own expectations and realistic limitations?

• Personal – Is this my goal or someone else’s?• Positive – Frame it in the positive.• Specific – Is it measurable?

# 3 Self ManagementAm I doing all I can to make

my life manageable?

GET PHYSICALLY ORGANIZED

• Paper Monthly planners• PDA – Personal Digital Assistant• Cell Phone App• Computerized Calendars (i.e., Outlook)• Action Lists• Tracking Forms

Self Discovery:How am I spending my time?

• I must be aware of how I spend my time• Decide if what I’m doing is important or not

important• Give myself permission to do both important

and unimportant things……but……• Manage the time through awareness

# 4 InterdependenceCould my life be more if I

reach out to others?

Stages to Interdependence

• Dependence – helpless; self oriented by necessity

• Co-dependence – other oriented rather than self oriented – generally to detriment of self

• Independence – total self orientation

• Interdependence – blends self and other orientation in harmony

The achievement of comfort in interdependence is a sign of great

maturity

• I am Self Confident

• Open to receiving as well as giving

• Understand that interdependence is a sign of intelligence, strength and courage rather than weakness

• I am an effective communicator

Self AwarenessUnderstanding myself… What are my inner obstacles?

Choose habit patterns and core beliefs that support success!

• Ask myself: “Is what I’m doing working for me?”

• Identify my self defeating patterns of thought, emotion and behavior that may be contributing to failure.

• Rewrite outdated “Scripts”; revise limiting core beliefs and self defeating patterns.

Core beliefs develop in childhood

Those core beliefs turn into scripts that we carry around until we challenge them. They come from our childhood experience of how adults:

1.Responded to us2.Told us3.Behaved around us (our observations)I must ask myself, “Are my core beliefs and

scripts helping or harming me?”

Processing a rewrite of a useless script

• Focus in on the negative or useless behavior, thought or emotion.

• Break it down to the core belief that it comes from. (This is easier done through dialogue with someone trusted.)

• Once it’s broken down to it’s most crude form, decide if there might be a more productive and realistic way to think, behave or feel.

• Try the new way until it becomes comfortable and then evaluate to see if it’s getting me where I want to be.

# 6 Lifelong LearningDo I know my learning style, learning

preferences and how to accommodate for a lifetime?

Become an active learner!

• Pat myself on the back….“See what I’ve done already. I can do this!”• Prior learning can be compared to

building blocks.• Discover and use my personal

learning style to my advantage: Auditory, visual, kinesthetic.

Identify my learning preference!

HOW DO I APPROACH A PROBLEM?????

• Am I a Thinking Learner? WHAT?• Am I a Doing Learner? HOW?• Am I a Feeling Learner? WHO?• Am I an Innovating Learner? “WHAT IF”

or “WHAT ELSE”?

Finally, learn how to do varied deep processing!

• Many different methods of attacking a learning requirement will reinforce the outcome. For example:

1.Underlining key ideas, then…2.Creating a concept map or outline, then….3.Discussing this information with someone

else, then….4.Reading material on the information, etc.,etc.

#7 Emotional IntelligenceAm I an emotional grown up?

Am I effective emotionally?

• Am I emotionally self aware – know my feelings in the moment?

• Am I able to manage strong feelings in the moment?

• Am I aware of and can I empathize accurately with other people’s emotions?

• Do I interact in a healthy way within a relationship….listening skills, conflict resolution, cooperation, compromise?

If I can do all these things….

I am an emotional grownup!

If not…..I’ve got some work to do!

#8 Belief in SelfDo I believe in me?

Few things affect my self esteem more than personal power!

• To claim my personal power I must:

1. Know my own unwritten rules which come from my core beliefs

2. Figure out if my rules are valid3. Consciously choose new personalized rules that I

believe will increase my success quotient.4. Try to be more of a Creator than a Victim.5. Show up; do my best work; participate actively!

I will be successful if I…..• Take personal responsibility• Decide what I value and go after it• Manage my time• Reach out to others• Decide who the “real me” is today and throw

out old and useless scripts• Understand and use my learning style• Become emotionally mature• Learn to like the person that I am becoming

This is a lot of information in a short time!

• If you want to learn more about putting the Eight Secrets into action consider taking:

HDEV 104: “On Course

Strategies for Creating to Success in College and In Life”