Young Girls Friendships:Success & Disasters

Deirdre Brandner

Psychologist

Friendships

• Girls beginning to figure out who they are, what they like, what is important to them

• They want friends, to be liked and to fit in• Get upset when left out, feel they are not

good enough• Don’t want to share friends, feels others are

invading their friendships.• What problems do you see arising ?

Differences between girls and boys

• Girls have better at eye contact• Girls historically have a critical need to trust

and cooperate• Female role carer means sense of identity is

often formed by feedback from others• Girls define friendship as someone who is

honest and likes me !!!

Challenges of Friendships• Receive negative feedback from friends, but still want to be

part of the groupMean Girlshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=4VF06kEKGUk&feature=related• Rather stay in destructive group that risk being lonely• Internalise the feedback they receive and blame

themselves.• Improves as they get older• Those with better resilience, self concept have greater

coping strategies• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_MKkvKN90Y

Little House on the Prairie

What to do ?

Four step approach for Parents 1)Observe2)Connect3)Guide4)Support to Act

Learning about Friendship• How to be a friend ?• Why friendship is a two way street ?• What makes good friendships• How to make it last ?

Putting in Perspective

• Stepping stones• Our baggage not theirs• Model effective strategies• Remain positive