winning strategies for dealing with difficult people
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Winning Strategies for Dealing with Difficult People
By Dr. Rick Goodman, CSP
Why is It Important to Deal with Difficult People?
In a study performed by the Financial Institution Marketing Association ( FIMA ) it was discovered That 25% of customers had expressed a complaint in The previous 12 months.
Establishing Rapport
"People do business with people who they like who are like them.”
- Dr. Rick Goodman
Upset Customers Don’t Come Back
A recent study showed that buyers stop buying from a particular business for the following reasons:
1% Die (not much you can do about that) 3% Move Away 5% Form Other Interests 9% For Competitive Reasons 14% Due To Product Dissatisfaction 68% Because Someone Was Rude,
Indifferent, or Discourteous To Them
Do You Want Your Customers to Complain?
If a Customer Complains They are More Likely to Comeback.
The Act of Complaining Can Actually Increase Customer Loyalty.
Unhappy Customers Who Will Buy from You Again
No Complaint: 37% (63% won’t come back)
Complaint Not Resolved: 46% (54% won’t come back)
Complaint Resolved: 70% (30% won’t come back)
Complaint Resolved Quickly: 95% (only 5% won’t come back)
% Of Customers with Major Cause for Complaint (over $100.00 losses) who will buy from you again.
Conflict is Inevitable
Being able to constructively handle disagreements is central to personal satisfaction and getting along in an organization.
It is considered one of the more difficult communication skills to master, because most people find it extremely stressful.
Conflict is Good
Commitment to organizational goals is desirable and two different opinions can often lead to a better, more clearly defined purpose when people are willing to work through conflict.
It can be challenging and stimulating to work to improve the quality of decisions products processes and overall understanding.
Conflict is Good
Conflict that is not addressed on the other hand is destructive. It can lead to lower productivity and poor relationships.
The better we develop skills to manage conflict, the better we contribute to the overall health of the organization.
The Ingredients of Conflict
Values
Values or beliefs or principles, we considered to be very important.
Serious conflicts arise when people hold incompatible values, or when the values are not very clear.
Conflicts also arise when one refuses to accept the fact that the other party holds something as a value rather than a preference.
Feelings and Emotions
Many people let their feelings and emotions become a major influence over how they deal with conflict.
Conflicts could also occur because people ignore their own or others’ feelings and emotions.
Other conflicts occur when feelings and emotions differ over a particular issue.
Taking Ownership of Your Feelings
Taking ownership of your personal feelings requires accepting responsibility for all that occurs in your life.
Foundation for Understanding Conflict
In dealing with customers or other types of relationships, it is important to let go of whatever you believe other people have done to you, whatever you think you’ve done to them.
The resentment you feel towards someone or the organization will block you from finding peacefulness.
Foundation for Understanding Conflict
When you get caught up in the feelings associated resentment it sets you up for conflict with the world.
Resentment slows down the process of relieving the feelings of frustration, conflict, hurt, and anger.
Affixing blame in a customer service situation is a waste of time and energy. Instead, use your energy to seek a solution.
Instant Unconditional Forgiveness
The ability to forgive yourself and others lets you begin to see yourself and others as blameless!
Five-Step Model for Managing Conflict
Analyze the Conflict
Determine the Management Strategy
Pre-Negotiation
Negotiation
Post-Negotiation
Step One: Analyze the Conflict
The first step in managing conflict is to analyze the nature and type of conflict.
This is achieved by the technique of asking open-ended questions.
Step Two: Determine Management Strategy
When you have a general understanding of the conflict. The groups involved will need to analyze and select the most appropriate approach.
In some cases it may be necessary to have a neutral facilitator to help move the group towards consensus.
Conflict Management Styles
Collaboration
This results from a high concern for the group’s own interests, matched with a high concern for the interests of other partners.
The outcome is win-win.
This strategy is generally used when the concern for others is important.
Collaboration
It is also the best strategy when society’s interest is at stake.
This approach helps build commitment and reduce bad feelings.
The drawbacks are that it takes time and energy.
Is regarded as the best approach.
Compromise
This results from a high concern for the group’s own interests, along with a moderate concern for the interests of other partners.
The outcome is some win and some lose.
This strategy is generally used to achieve temporary solutions, to avoid destructive power struggles or when time is limited.
Compromise
One drawback is that partners can lose sight of important values and long-term objectives.
This approach could also distract the partners from the merits of the issue and create a cynical climate.
Competition
This strategy results from a high concern for the group’s own interests with less concern for others.
The outcome is win/ lose.
The strategy includes most attempts at bargaining.
Accommodation
This results from a low concern for the group’s own interests, combined with a high concern for the interest of others.
The outcome is a lose/win.
This strategy is generally used when the issues are more important to others than to oneself.
Accommodation
It is a gesture of goodwill.
It is also appropriate when you recognize that you are wrong.
The drawbacks are that one’s own ideas and concerns don’t get attention
You may also lose credibility and future influence.
Avoidance
This results from a low concern for the group’s own interests coupled with a low concern for the interests of others.
The outcome is lose/lose.
The strategy is generally used when the issue is trivial or other issues are more pressing.
Avoidance
It is also used when confrontation has a high potential for damage or more information is needed.
One of the drawbacks is that important decisions may be made by default.
Take Advantage of Your Natural Style
If you are competing:
Let go of your position for a moment. Think about what the other person needs and wants.
Work with others to identify underlying concerns and issues.
Consider all the options, and how all the parties stand to benefit from each one.
Take Advantage of Your Natural Style
If you are accommodating or avoiding
Focus on your own concerns. What are your needs and goals?
Give yourself time to gather data that support your case—your goals and the reasons they matter.
If you sense that a confrontation is brewing, don’t just give up. Objectively present your point of view while providing data to support it.
Take Advantage of Your Natural Style
If you are compromising
Slow down. Don’t always choose the fastest solution. Take your time to find alternatives that really work for everyone.
Take Advantage of Your Natural Style
If you are collaborating
Make your thinking explicit when you’re at the table. Help your colleagues understand how you work with others to find solutions that benefit everyone.
Why do Customers Get Upset?
Upset People Have Little Patience
Reasons Customers Become Upset
Action I Can Take To Help
Avoidable Upsets
You or someone was promised something that wasn’t delivered.
You or someone in the organization was indifferent, rude or discourteous
The customer feels you or someone in your organization had an unpleasant attitude
The customer doesn’t feel listened to.
Avoidable Upsets
The client was told they had no right to be upset
The customer was given a smart or flip reply
The client is embarrassed at doing something incorrectly
The clients integrity or honesty has been questioned
You or someone in your organization argued with the customer
Communication Skills for Calming Upset
Clients
There are different ways that you can have an influence on an upset individual
Nonverbal Communication:
Facial Expression
Body Posture
Movement
Gestures
Smoking
Touching
Chewing Gum or Eating
Voice Tone
Sighing
Cursing
Verbal Communication That Makes a Difference
Keep it Personal
Use “I” instead of “You”
Avoid Giving Orders
Take Responsibility
Avoid Causing Defensiveness
Listening Habits
Most people have poor listening habits and make common mistakes when communicating here are a number to avoid:
Criticizing the Speaker and Delivery
Listening Only for Facts and Not for
Feelings
Not Taking Notes or Trying to Write Down Everything
Faking Attention
Tolerating or Creating Distractions
Listening Habits
Biases and Prejudices
Not Facing the Upset Person
Not Checking that You Have Been Understood
Tuning Out Difficult or Confusing Information
Letting Emotional Words Block the Message
Interrupting or Finishing the Other Person’s Sentences
Using The Three F’s
Feel
Felt
Found
Step-By-Step Guidelines
When your dealing with an upset customer the following steps are helpful
1. Verbally Cushion the Customers Concerns
2. Use the Three F’s
3. Apologize for the Situation
4. State You Want Help
Step-By-Step Guidelines
5. Probe for More Information
6. Repeat Their Concern to Make Sure You have Understood
7. Show You Value Their Patronage
8. Explain Options or Ask What They Would Like to Have Happen
9. Summarize Actions to be Taken- Yours and Theirs and End Pleasantly
Throughout the Meeting:
Listen
Face The Customer
Look Him / Her in the Eye
Adopt a Concerned Body Posture, Voice Tone, and Facial Expression
Throughout the Meeting:
Avoid Fight Starters
Avoid a Condescending Attitude or Impatient Tone
Have and Show Empathy
Eliminate Distractions
Practice Patience
Use a Pleasant Tone of Voice
Don’t Take Things Personally
After The Customers Gone
Review the Incident
Don’t Take it Personally
Don’t Bore Your Coworkers
