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When Love Hurts!

When Love Hurts!

Francis T’s Commentary on

Arturo B Rotor’s

“Zita.”

When Love Hurts!

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Introductory Remarks

I have so many things to say actually, but let me just put it in three points.

First of all, I thought that it would be a great help, that before going to my

observations, the reader would first know the summary of the story, so that he

could enjoy the details, and will not get tired or bored about knowing what’s the

point of the story. Actually the flow of the story is “zigzag” in transition, and

confusing in conversation, and so I think “summary” is necessary here for us to get

an overview and to wet our mental appetite as well, with an expectation to get

something beneficial as we study this love story written by Arturo B. Rotor which is

entitled “Zita.”

Second, although the main point of the story is about unanswered love but in my

commentary, I also pointed out different issues that I personally saw from the story.

But don’t worry; I’d make it sure that I commented enough concerning love,

particularly on the “hurts” that it does to us when our love is not appreciated in

return.

Third, the commentator is a Christian.

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Summary This is the summary that I got from Wikianswers.com.1

Zita is about a brokenhearted teacher who comes to the land of Anayat.

He arrived riding a sailboat. The municipal president offers him a big

room at his house to stay but refuses and lives in a small hut. From the

minute Mr. Reteche stepped on the shores of Anayat, his lonesomeness

was apparent for the villagers.

He comes across his student Zita, the innocent province girl who

coincidentally has the same name as her past lover.

Zita becomes fond of her gloomy teacher and soon grew keen and

observant with his actions. Later she discovers that Mr. Reteche was

saddest whenever a certain mail arrives: a letter enveloped in blue.

Zita's father asks Mr. Reteche to teach his daughter how to be 'a lady'. He

agrees and teaches her how to dress, act and dance like a city lady. One

day he told Zita to dress accordingly as he will teach her a Spanish dance.

She does so and manages to show up like a true lady. She dances

dreamily with her teacher, but Mr. Reteche doesn’t show any affection

towards her. Their dance was paused by Turong, a messenger, who hands

him a blue envelope. But he tore the letter into pieces. She asks him why

he tears it when he will only pick them up and put it together. Then he

explains that soon she will someday understand.

After a while, Zita realizes that her teacher will soon go.

On the day that he will depart, she tried to be in her very best. She was

well dressed, and made-up. She waited impatiently for her teacher to

come by her house and bid her farewell. Soon Turong arrives and gives

her a letter. She opened the window and spots a sailboat not too far away.

She sees a man standing. It was Mr. Reteche. His silhouette was slowly

disappearing, but she was quite sure he was looking at her. Suddenly she

realizes that the letter she was holding, she was unaware she had it torn

apart... slowly... painfully... she picks them up and put it all together.

1 Retrieved October 12, 2012 from:

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_zita_by_arturo_rotor_all_about#ixzz27SPY7gbQ

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Commentary

“TURONG brought him from Pauambang in his small sailboat, for the coastwise

steamer did not stop at any little island of broken cliffs and coconut palms. It was

almost midday; they had been standing in that white glare where the tiniest pebble and

fluted conch had become points of light, piercing-bright--the municipal president, the

parish priest, Don Eliodoro who owned almost all the coconuts, the herb doctor, the

village character. Their mild surprise over when he spoke in their native dialect, they

looked at him more closely and his easy manner did not deceive them. His head was

uncovered and he had a way of bringing the back of his hand to his brow or mouth; they

read behind that too, it was not a gesture of protection. "An exile has come to Anayat…

and he is so young, so young." So young and lonely and sufficient unto himself. There

was no mistaking the stamp of a strong decision on that brow, the brow of those who

have to be cold and haughty, those shoulders stooped slightly, less from the burden that

they bore than from a carefully cultivated air of unconcern; no common school-teacher

could dress so carelessly and not appear shoddy.”

For Turong to bring Reteche to Anayat just implies that he is not just a “nobody”

fisherman, but he is a recognized dependable and trustworthy man in the barrio.

The author did not give further details why Turong is the one who brought Reteche

to the barrio, but we can guess that since he is a fisherman, he may have own a boat

which is useful for delivering goods or fetching people from the city into the barrio.

According to the author, Reteche came “from Pauambang.” We don’t know exactly

where “Pauambang” and “Anayat” in the Philippines are, but maybe the author was

just making fictitious names using real beautiful barrios in the provinces that he

encountered and just renamed it according to his own creativity.

Based from the description that Arturo used for “Anayat,” his portrayal shows that

this barrio is a beautiful place, which is rich in natural resources, but not yet

developed in a modern way. It is also shown that “Don Eliodoro” is the “priest” and

the “municipal president” in this barrio. And it is interesting to note that although

he is a priest, but he owns a large amount of possession in the land. This detail

somehow shows us that the recognized leader during those times were the priests,

under the influence of course of the Roman Catholic Church in our country. This is

also what we can read and see in the book of our national hero Jose Rizal whose

book entitled “Noli Me Tangere” describes clearly how the priests ruled our country

during the Spanish regime.

It is interesting that Don Eliodoro himself iniatiated to meet Reteche in his arrival

to the barrio. We don’t know exactly the “why,” but I think as a leader of the barrio,

this is an act of hospitality for the stranger, or rather a way of checking if the new

stranger in the barrio is not a threat or an enemy.

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Now about Reteche himself, I think Don Eliodoro and the citizens of the barrio does

not need to worry about this man, because as the author described Reteche, he is a

man whose deep sadness is obvious in his face. Actually, we can say that Reteche

during this time is not yet fully recovered from whatever problems he was

struggling about. So of course, if you will encounter a person like that, your natural

reaction is “pity” for him. You will not be afraid of a person who is sad or trouble

hearted, because sadness makes a person weak, though in some ways, depending on

a situation, sadnesss with revenge and irritation makes a person aggressive. Also,

there are persons in our society who may look sad and pity, but in reality, they are

just not showing their emotions because they are hiding something either for good

or bad.

About the “age” of Reteche, the author said that he is “so young.” I guess his age is

21 years old.

The other thing that gave confidence to the barrio about Reteche was the ability of

this young stranger to speak in their own language. Now we don’t know why he can

speak in their language; maybe he was raised from this barrio, or maybe he studied

to learn it, or maybe he was born and raised into a place where the language is the

same with this barrio. We don’t also know what language is spoken in Anayat, we

don’t know if it’s Bicol, Cebuano, or Ilocano, or whatever, but I have a guessed it’s

not Tagalog.

Now, language is a means for relationship. Language is a builder of relationship.

And here in the Phillipppines, I think the reason why the sense and spirit of unity

is so weak in our country is because we don’t have “one language.” Yes, I know that

we have a “national language,” which we may call our “one language,” but in my

observation, this is just a show-off, because in reality when you face different

cultures here in our country, not all Filipinos are proud to speak “Filipino” or let’s

say “Tagalog” as their language. Why? Well because for them, “Tagalog” is the

language of the “Tagalog Culture” which is deemed as a culture of proud persons.

So just think about it, you came from Tarlac, and then you are brought to Bicol

region where “Bicol” is the native language, and the bad news is, you don’t know

how to speak Bicol. Now, do you think you’ll become “in” to or among the people?

Now, for some, because of their “Public relation” skills, they somehow gain close

connection with the people, but for many others, no. Same also with the language of

“Tagalog” and “Ilocanos” or the “Cordillerans,” these people can’t have close-

relationship because there is “culture-clash,” there is a “language-clash.”

Actually for me, the plurality of language in our country is a pestilence. If I will

become the President of the Philippines, I will make it sure that part of my

unification strategies to unite the country is to have “one language.” I will even

declare “Martial law,” if the people will not obey my orders. As a Filipinos I am

envious of other countries like Japan, Korea, and China, they have one language,

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and yes I know there are also differences, but I believe it’s not in form or language

itself, but in diction, pitch, and something like that. Now here in our country, we

have many different languages, and for this reason, we have also many culture

clashes and mental wars.

Now in this story, Reteche is said to be able to speak in the language of the barrio,

and because of this, he can easily adapt and build relationship with the people

which is a very important thing when you are settling in a province or place which

is foreign to you.

They had prepared a room for him in Don Eliodoro's house so that he would not have to

walk far to school every morning, but he gave nothing more than a glance at the big

stone building with its Spanish azotea, its arched doorways, its flagged courtyard. He

chose instead Turong's home, a shaky hut near the sea. Was the sea rough and

dangerous at times? He did not mind it. Was the place far from the church and the

schoolhouse? The walk would do him good. Would he not feel lonely with nobody but an

illiterate fisherman for a companion? He was used to living alone.

And they let him do as he wanted, for the old men knew that it was not so much the

nearness of the sea that he desired as its silence so that he might tell it secrets he could

not tell anyone else.

In this scenario, we can see that Don Eliodoro was very accommodating to Reteche.

Again, we don’t know the exact reason for this special accommodation, in spite of

the fact that Reteche is just a stranger. Who are you to be given with special

attention? Unless you are a well known celebrity or you have made big

contributions to the society, or you are anticipated or recognized as a well-able

person to do great things for the betterment of the people just like for example

Manny Pacquio. Well I guess in the case of Reteche, the special treatment might be

because he’s a teacher. Maybe, during that time, particularly in this so-called

“Anayat” area, there were no yet enough teachers to cater to the educational needs

of the people, and so maybe if you’re a teacher you’re a great demand. Unlike in our

present condition, although we have many LET passer teachers, yet, many of them

are not working according to their pledged profession, because our country does not

have enough room or opportunity for them; Or, those LET passers themselves

doesn’t have instinct interest and mission about their profession; part of the reasons

is because many are just looking for money, not mission and legacy.

Concerning Reteche, I also experienced the big respect of the barrio people to

teachers because during my 6 grade in my province, I saw parents and students

how they respect their teachers, and how they are happy and priviledged when they

are visited by their teachers at home, or when they are talked to in the streets.

Again, about Reteche, I just wonder if he is a “Pinoy.” Do you think he is a pure

blooded Pinoy? I think the name “Reteche” is not pinoy. It is Spanish in

“morphology” just like the name “Eliodoro.” Well, of course, we know that during

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the reign of the Spaniards here in our country, our original Filipino names were

also changed, just like for example from the names “Lapu-lapu” and “Sikatuna” it

became “Juan,” “Pedro,” “Andres,” or “Thomas.” Well, I have a feeling (not only

because of name, but because of situations) that “Reteche” is not a pureblooded

Pinoy just like Don Eliodoro. And maybe this is one of the reasons why Don Eliodoro

had a special treatment for Reteche, because maybe he’s also“Spanish” in heritage.

Now, just think about it, Don Elidoro had prepared a comfortable place for Reteche

in his mansionic house. Out of good intention, Eliodoro offered a very “VIP” place for

Reteche, considering also that the location of Elidoro’s mansion is located near at

the local church and at the school.

In this scenario, we can see the generosity of Eliodoro to this man, however, in spite

of this gracious proposal it is interesting to see that Reteche denied the offer. Now

we don’t know in what manner or reaction did Reteche refuse the offer, but the

author did not say that Eliodoro got mad; because maybe, this is not the point and

an important detail for the story and I think yah maybe true.

Well, the point in this case is, Reteche refused the good offer of Don Eliodoro, and I

think basing from the author’s intention, he wants to point out in the story that

Reteche had a very important reason for this refusal. And that refusal is seen in the

sadness that sorrounds his person and grips his obvious broken heart.

According to the words of the author, Reteche chose to live under the Nipa hut

house of the friendly fisherman Turong. This Nipa house according to the author’s

description is small and shaky, that when a stupendous wind comes, it can be easily

crushed down.

Now I think, this is the lesson that we can learn from this story, if indeed this is the

lesson that the author wants us to learn. Well, in observation, we can see here that,

to a broken hearted, distressed, and wounded, the sight of material comfort is

tastless and grayish because true happiness, heart-gladness is not based upon

material wealth and physical comfort. That’s because if the heart is broken, the food

becomes tasteless and money becomes worthless.

The sad and distressed Reteche chose to live in a poor house of Turong which is

near at the seashore because according to the author, that location can give Reteche

enough privacy, and the waves of the sea can become a friend to him. Through the

noise of these waves, he can speak forth freely what’s inside his heart, without fear

of being misinterpred or laughed at. So I think this is what is inside his mind, he

wants a place where he can air all his distress personally and freely. Yes in

Eliodoro’s mansion, he will certainly have comfy bed and luscious food, but he will

become like a bird in a golden cage.

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By the way, the fact that Reteche chose to live with Turong just implies that Turong

and Reteche had somehow built close connection with each other. We don’t know

where and when it began, but it’s just interesting that among the many houses or

(rent houses if any) in the barrio, Reteche prefered the house of Turong, and one of

the fit reasons for this is because there’s a friendship between them. Not only that,

maybe Reteche thought that if he’ll gonna live with Turong, he will have more

private times, because remember, Turong is a diligent fisherman or delivery boy. He

may not be always staying in his Nipa, and this diligence of Turong is a point or

advantage for Reteche’s wish for privacy.

They thought of nobody but him; they talked about him in the barber shop, in the

cockpit, in the sari-sari store, the way he walked, the way he looked at you, his unruly

hair. They dressed him in purple and linen, in myth and mystery, put him astride a

black stallion, at the wheel of a blue automobile. Mr. Reteche? Mr. Reteche! The name

suggested the fantasy and the glitter of a place and people they never would see; he was

the scion of a powerful family, a poet and artist, a prince.

The arrival and presence of Reteche in Barrio of Anayat became the people’s crispy

chitchat. He became well known because of his unique attitude and mysterious

behavior. Even the style of his hair didn’t escape from the people’s notice. I just

thought, is this how people see the “loners” or the “emos” of our society?

In this scenario, the author seems to say that the name “Reteche” carries an idea

that this main character in the story came from an influential family. The author

seems also to show that Reteche is a good speaker and possesses charisma. These

are the things that maybe the people of the barrio are chatting everyday about this

man. And yes of course, if you’re “new,” you’ll become the “news.” They want to

know Reteche, but the problem is, they can’t, because this young man is always

silent, serious, and no time for chattery.

This scenario just tells us that even from the author’s time, there were already

“emo” image, this is not new; nothings new under the sun, everything is just in a

cycle.

That night, Don Eliodoro had the story from his daughter of his first day in the

classroom; she perched wide-eyed, low-voiced, short of breath on the arm of his chair.

Frankly, this is one of the things that I don’t like in the style of the story, there is no

smooth transition. Because of this, I am tempted to think that the

unpredictableness of the story is not because of the intelligent and puzzling details,

but because of a poor transition. Just think about it, how can you follow a story

without a smooth transition? You are lost, no sign post, or traffic lights. Yes in this

case, I see that there is a destination in the style of the story, but the road to that

destination is zigzag, and because of that, the reader is vomitly lost in the road.

Well, with due respect if this short story gained fame among the Filipino writers, I

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think it’s not because of it’s intelligent content just like that of Rizal’s novel, but

because of its zigzag transition.

Add to this, I also observed that according to the story, “Eliodoro” is said to be a

“priest.” But here, it is said that he have a “daughter.” Well, I don’t know what the

word “daughter” means here. I can guess of two things, first is, the meaning of the

word “daughter” is not in a “parent-child” meaning but rather an “endearment”

address for a person who has a close connection to you, maybe as a teacher, priest,

or respected elder. The second is, “Zita” is a daughter of Eliodoro in a biological

sense, and if this is true, since he is called as “priest” this is controversial, because

in the Roman Catholic pledge for Priestly Celibacy, you have to remain single and

without sexual relationship with others. It is a disgrace for a priest to have

biological “children” or commit sexual sins. But maybe for a third consideration,

maybe the title “priest” that is connected with Eliodoro isn’t a Roman Catholic

Church’s idea of a priest. Maybe he is a “priest” in a different religious function.

Well whatever, but the 2nd point seems to be the obvious in the story.

"He strode into the room, very tall and serious and polite, stood in front of us and looked

at us all over and yet did not seem to see us.

Okay in this scenario, it’s Zita the “daughter” of Eliodoro who told us the story

about her first encounter with Reteche. The setting is in the school, and again we

can see the countenance of Reteche seen as serious but respectable.

I think, this scenario is also teaching our teachers to be cautious about their

professional attitude in the school. Yes, I know that teacher needs to be serious in

his profession, but I think, if your seriousness is same with Reteche’s attitude here,

I think you’re missing the important character of being a good teacher. I really

believe that you cannot create an atmosphere of healthy learning in the room if your

aura is only serious. Yes, you need to be serious for discipline and authority sake,

but you must balance it with humour and approachable attitudes to build up

connection with your students. There must be balance between authority and

relationship.

In the case of Reteche, yes, Zita said, he “stood in front of us and looked at us all

over, and YET did not seem to see us.” See that? As a professional, don’t bring in the

school your personal problems. I know this is hard, but this is the reason why you

are called “professional.” As a teacher, you must have sufficient “self-control.” It’s

good to be seen sad sometimes by your students, it will help them to see you as

human being as well who is vulnerable to earthly problems, and they may somehow

help you, but the point is, don’t let your emotion ruin the class. Teach them also real

life lessons, through your experience and be a role model.

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"'Good morning, teacher,' we said timidly.

"He bowed as if we were his equals. He asked for the fist of our names and as he read off

each one, we looked at him long. When he came to my name, Father, the most surprising

thing happened. He started pronouncing it and then he stopped as if he had forgotten

something and just stared and stared at the paper in his hand. I heard my name

repeated three times through his half-closed lips, 'Zita. Zita. Zita.'

You see, “seriousness” becomes disadvantage when because of your seriousness the

students are afraid to talk to you or to recite in the class or to raise their hands, or

to be called by you, because you are strict and not easy to talk to. Again, there must

be balance between seriousness and approachableness. If you are too serious, the

students will be tempted to “cutting classes” or if you are too approachable, you will

not be heard. So learn to balance that. And you know what? I personally believe

that most of the problems in the classroom today come from the teacher himself.

The teacher is the major key in the “learning process;” his “key-ness” is above the

major importance of the student and environment. I personally believe and I have a

theory that it is the teacher who makes suitable environment and responsive

learners.

Now in this scenario, I think what Reteche did here by bowing down his head is a

sign of approachableness and humility. By doing this, his showing to the students

that he is not really arrogant by heart and by countenance, rather he is easy to talk

with, though he’s serious this time.

"'Yes sir, I am Zita.'

"He looked at me uncomprehendingly, inarticulate, and it seemed to me, Father, it

actually seemed that he was begging me to tell him that that was not my name, that I

was deceiving him. He looked so miserable and sick I felt like sinking down or running

away.

"'Zita is not your name; it is just a pet name, no?'

"'My father has always called me that, sir.'

"'It can't be; maybe it is Pacita or Luisa or--'

In this part of the story, we can see the root cause of sadness in the heart of

Reteche, that is, if you have read already the full story. I think this is also the

reason why the title of the story is called “Zita.” I think the author wants us to see

here the intelligence in the “title” of the story, if he was the one who made this title.

We must understand that there are two “Zitas” in this story. The first Zita is

Reteche’s love, and the other one is Reteche’s student. I think the author wants us to

think whose Zita is the emphasis of the story, and whose Zita will reign in the heart

of Reteche someday.

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In this scenario, we can see that Reteche is so surprised about the name of his

student. He can’t believe that the name that he wants to forget will come up in the

list of the students’ paper passed to him. He can’t believe that the very name that

he wants to erase in his mind and heart will show up in that remote area of Anayat

and will become a daily encounter in his life. What a mental torture for the one who

is broken hearted!

Now, about this first Zita, we don’t know the whereabouts of this woman. The

author didn’t gave adequate information about how this woman broke (if she really

did it) the heart of Reteche. We don’t know if this woman is dead or alive. This is

part of the story that does not have details, and I don’t know if the lack of details

about her will be credited to the geniusness of the story, or the author by not giving

information about her was thinking to give thrill or something to think about to the

reader. Well I don’t know, I am not interested, but for me, this lack of detail is

serious because it will lead to an attitude that weakens manhood by showing

sadness or brokenheartedness without reasonable cause.

Who is this Zita then by whom Reteche is so sad enough to death? Why Reteche

can’t move on because of her? Actually, I am tempted to think that Reteche is so

“OA.” Well I know that when you truly in love with someone, and you are “busted”

or your love is refused; I know the hurts it makes in the heart. But to be busted is

not the end of the world or the end of our life. I saw that the world is big, and if you

are refused by one, you will find another one, who may not refuse you.

You see “love” if without control is fatal and it will make you crazy. Love is strong to

mould you either for good or for bad. And in the case of Reteche, we can see that

what Zita did to him (if she did something wrong), in his mind and in his attitude is

seriously enough to make him distressed and emotionally paralyzed. If you will read

the whole story, almost the strength of manhood in Reteche is lost, because of his

crazy love for this girl whom we don’t have enough information about if she’s worthy

of Reteche’s distressed condition. For me, this is an important detail that the author

seriously missed, (for moral reason) because if you don’t give Reteche the right

reason for his distress, then you will make his love too emotional, and without

reasonable cause, if it is worthy of death.

Zita said,

"His voice was scarcely above a whisper, Father, and all the while he looked at me

begging, begging. I shook my head determinedly. My answer must have angered him.

He must have thought I was very hard-headed, for he said, 'A thousand miles, Mother of

Mercy… it is not possible.'

He kept on looking at me; he was hurt perhaps that he should have such a stubborn

pupil. But I am not really so, Father?"

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Again, I think Reteche is acting “O.A” here. What’s the reason? Why seeing the

name of the one who broke your heart makes you crazy? Who is this lady? Who is

this Zita? Why she’s so emotionally and mentally disturbing to Reteche? If you’re

refused to be loved in return by a person, will you just imprison yourself in the

memory of heartaches and rejection? What shallowness!

In the case of Reteche, this is not manhood, this is not healthy, and this is not true

love. You need to let go of the past, and you need to respect the refusal of others,

because if not, you’ll do suicide. Again, I don’t like what the author did, or what the

author forgot in this story. Removing reasonable details about the cause of

Reteche’s broken heart is not good. You’ll make many youngmen today, weak and

irreasonable in their love life. Put reason author!

Again, it is not bad to love truly and passionately. That’s good, and that’s a

“should.” You need to be sad when your love is worthy of your sadness and even of

your death. But, if your love does not have clear reason and cause for you to be sad

or distressed, you need to move on because your love is just an infatuation, it’s a

poison, it’s a misguided emotion.

You see in this story, the author removed the basic characteristic of manhood which

is “strength of soul.” Reteche is so described as an emotional “emo” figure, which is

for me is not a good example or figure for today’s youth. Yes, I think, I’ll respect the

distressed heart of Reteche if I will see that his distress is caused by reasonable and

worthy cause, but I can’t see any reasonable cause in the story for the immature

emotionality.

So now, in this scenario, we can see that “Zita” who is the daughter of Don Eliodoro

is same in name with Reteche’s sweetheart “Zita.” We can see also writing art or

techniques here. The art of coincidence is popularly useful in the minds of a writer,

more on if you’re a “Creative writer.” Through this approach, you can make your

story interesting and mind entertaining.

"Yes, you are, my dear. But you must try to please him, he is a gentleman; he comes

from the city. I was thinking… Private lessons, perhaps, if he won't ask too much." Don

Eliodoro had his dreams and she was his only daughter.

Out of this scenario, Don Eliodoro thougth of an idea, that maybe it would be good

for Reteche to teach “Zita” his daughter how to dance and how to act like a city girl.

Actually, through this idea, the two had been able to be closed with each other.

Also, we can see here that the reason why Don Eliodoro wanted Reteche to teach

Zita is because according to the author, Eliodoro have a dream for his daughter.

Maybe he wants Zita to learn city manners, language, and dressing styles, so that

the time they will go to the city to maybe reside there, she will not have a hard time

in adjusting. Also, I think Eliodoro wants Reteche to court for Zita or for Zita to

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attract or to make Reteche fall in love with her, because according to Eliodoro’s

words, he likes Reteche. And yes, maybe Eliodoro thought that Reteche is a suitable

man for Zita. Unlike with the youngmen in the barrio, Reteche is a gentleman and

respectable and to this man, he can be sure that his daughter will find security and

respect in the society, that is, only if Reteche will recover from his distress due to

unhealed past hurts.

Turong had his own story to tell in the barber shop that night, a story as vividly etched

as the lone coconut palm in front of the shop that shot up straight into the darkness of

the night, as vaguely disturbing as the secrets that the sea whispered into the night.

"He did not sleep a wink, I am sure of it. When I came from the market the stars were

already out and I saw that he had not touched the food I had prepared. I asked him to

eat and he said he was not hungry. He sat by the window that faces the sea and just

looked out hour after hour. I woke up three times during the night and saw that he had

not so much as changed his position. I thought once that he was asleep and came near,

but he motioned me away. When I awoke at dawn to prepare the nets, he was still

there."

"Maybe he wants to go home already." They looked up with concern.

"He is sick. You remember Father Fernando? He had a way of looking like that, into

space, seeing nobody, just before he died."

After Zita’s story, the author switched on to Turong for another story about Reteche.

It is interesting to read that what Turong saw or knew about Reteche is hard for

him to keep secret; he wants to speak about this, he wants to find someone who will

listen to his story about his new friend.

What we can see here is that, “gossip” is not girl thing only, because even men

practice “gossip” with beer on the table and with a macho effect in their tone.

In the case of Reteche, his behavior is teaching us that those who are silent are

oftentimes the center of other’s attention. Maybe, we are just so attracted or curios

about “silence” because we are not familiar about it. We thought that those who are

noisy and energetic are the only ones who call our attention. But no, even the

“emos” of our society are calling out our attention through their “designed” silence.

The “Emos” of today I believe are also longing for attention, they are not loners or

silent because they want to be alone, yes they want to be alone, but in their

aloneness they want carry the attention of the people around them who are curiosed

about their silence. “Emo” attitude is a way to be different, and if you want

different, you basically want also to be heard and seen.

But other than that, I think we Pinoys are just usually friendly and lively, and

maybe by culture we are not used to “emo” type personality like that of the

Japanese, Chinese, and Korean, which we can see in their Anime movies. Our

culture is known for being hospitable, cheerful, and friendly. Actually, the attitude

14 | P a g e

of “emo” is not original in our culture, this is foreign attitude, and therefore it is so

unnatural to us; we don’t want others to be serious and sad looking, we Filipinos

basically want others to be happy and warm hearted. We “pansin” everything!

But in the case of Reteche, it seems that the author wants us to see that his sadness

is heavy. The weight of his distress triggers his andrenalin to be able not to eat and

sleep for a day. You see, sadness will make you sick, this is not good for you health.

That’s why the adage is true, “laughter is the best medicine.” Sorrow will make our

bones and muscles crisp and lousy, most especially if one’s sorrow is unreasonable.

Turong as a thoughtful friend and housemate is worried about Reteche. And you

know what? This is what I like in barrio-attitude, they are basically considerate or

thouguthful, but of course, when thoughtulness is extremely applied, it becomes

“gossip.” For example in the barrio, when your friend knew that you have “fallen”

from the Coconut tree, be sure that, that news will sweep the whole barrio, and the

people will want to see you, of course, oftentimes to know if you are okay, if you

need something, or if you’re still alive. You’ll become the “headline” of the news in

the Barrio.

Reteche was looking all night to nothingness at the seashore. This made Turong so

bothered and he thought that maybe Reteche will commit suicide. Actually Turong

woke up three times in the night because he thought Reteche had fall asleep, but to

his amazement, he saw Reteche as if his not moving in his sitting place for a decade.

His just looking to something or to nothing, and Turong thought that Reteche’s

attitude is same with Fernando, a man who commit suicide and who seems to be

carrying the same burden like Reteche. He was worried for his friend, I like it.

Every month there was a letter that came for him, sometimes two or three; large, blue

envelopes with a gold design in the upper left hand corner, and addressed in broad,

angular, sweeping handwriting.

One time Turong brought one of them to him in the classroom. The students were busy

writing a composition on a subject that he had given them, "The Things That I Love

Most."

Carelessly he had opened the letter, carelessly read it, and carelessly tossed it aside.

Zita was all aflutter when the students handed in their work for he had promised that

he would read aloud the best. He went over the pile two times, and once again, absently,

a deep frown on his brow, as if he were displeased with their work. Then he stopped and

picked up one. Her heart sank when she saw that it was not hers, she hardly heard him

reading:

It is interesting to note that every month, there’s a letter delivered for Reteche. The

author did not put in here the details about the source and the “what” of this letter;

he’s just giving us descriptions about the letter, and maybe the purpose of doing so

is to give something to think about. If this letter is a love letter or not, we don’t

15 | P a g e

know, but if we will read carefully the reaction of Reteche when he received the

letter, there is a big possibility that this letter is a love letter, in the first place, the

story of Zita is all about love, that is, when love hurts.

It is also interesting that Turong is the one who delivered the letter. This only tells

us that Turong has a special part in Reteche’s life. Maybe he knows more about the

sorrow that crushes the heart of this young man day by day.

Now, it is absurd that when Reteche read the letter, it seems that his not reading it

with much attention. As if when he opened it and looked on it, yes his eyes gazed

upon it, but he’s not thinking about it. The author did not give the details about the

content of the story; again, he wants us to think about this letter, and what’s its

significance in the story. This is a mystery part without details; our minds are

hanged in the air of guessing.

Also in this scenario, we can see that the setting is in the classroom. We don’t know

what level, grade, or year of students that was assigned to Reteche. We don’t know

if his students are elementary, or highschool. But I think maybe “highschool” is in

the mind of the author, of course I said that because there is no “College” in the

barrio. Not also Elementary I guess, because if that’s so, think about it, “Reteche”

teacher, let’s say 21 years old, and then Zita the elementary student let’s say grade

5 or 6, that’s “child abuse,” not fitting for the love story.

In this scenario, we can see that Reteche told his students to do an essay

composition about the “Things that they love most.” He promised that he will read

aloud in front the best composition that he’ll choose. But you see, according to the

author, Reteche didn’t find any good composition to read out of the essays that his

students did. And I think what the author wants us to see here is that, not because

Reteche didn’t find any good composition, but maybe because of his depression, it

seems to be that he becomes killjoy on things that are worth enjoying or worth

loving for. What I mean is this. There’s a lesson here. If a person is depressed, he

doesn’t want to be alone in the feeling of this depression, but he wants other to feel

his depression too. A depressed person is contagious, and so, if your spirit is weak,

you will be pulled into it. Other than that, when a person is depressed, your sight to

things becomes gloomy and pessimistic. For example, the beauty and fragrance of a

flower becomes dry and unattractive. If you are “busted” the “rose” that you gave to

your “crush” will become a memory of pain, because your emotion wasn’t met with

an anticipated love from another. You see, I think the origin of “killjoy” mentality

comes from “depression.” If a person is depressed or his wants wasn’t’ met, accepted,

or recognized, then it becomes easy for him/her to be vulnerable to “killjoy”

mentality.

Now here, Zita did all her best, she poured all her grammatical and creative writing

skills in order to be recognized by his teacher. But to his surprise and

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disappointment, in spite of all her sports as a bright student in the class, yet, her

composition wasn’t chosen, because what Reteche chose is a composition like this.

"I did not know any better. Moths are not supposed to know; they only come to the light.

And the light looked so inviting, there was no resisting it. Moths are not supposed to

know, one does not even know one is a moth until one's wings are burned."

It was incomprehensible, no beginning, no end. It did not have unity, coherence,

emphasis. Why did he choose that one? What did he see in it? And she had worked so

hard, she had wanted to please, she had written about the flowers that she loved most.

Who could have written what he had read aloud? She did not know that any of her

classmates could write so, use such words, sentences, use a blue paper to write her

lessons on.

But then there was little in Mr. Reteche that the young people there could understand.

Even his words were so difficult, just like those dark and dismaying things that they

came across in their readers, which took them hour after hour in the dictionary. She had

learned like a good student to pick out the words she did not recognize, writing them

down as she heard them, but it was a thankless task. She had a whole notebook filled

now, two columns to each page:

Esurient – a greedy

Amaranth – a flower that never fades.

Peacock – a large bird with lovely gold and green feathers.

Mirash – word was not in the dictionary.

And what did such things as original sin, selfishness, insatiable, actress of a thousand

faces mean, and who were Sirse, Lorelay, other names she could not find anywhere? She

meant to ask him someday, someday when his eyes were kinder.

Now first of all, it is obvious that this composition about the “moth” (if this is

composition at all) is a gloomy one. And I think we can guess that the reason why

Reteche chose this is because he can see similar condition of his life from the

“moth.” Maybe his love life is like a moth that is wrecklessly attracted to the fire.

Although he knew that loving will hurt him, but still he wants to try it, because he

is helplessly attracted to it. It doesn’t matter to him if he will be broken hearted by

it, as long as he can release the feeling of loving someone. You see, you’ll get crazy

when you are in love. It doesn’t matter how many rivers and mountains to cross

over, as long as you can come to the one you love, the one who attracts and pulls

your heart.

But on the one hand, I am suspicious of the source of this writing. The author does

not clearly say that the writing comes from the student. What we can read about

this scenario is that Reteche took something, and take note, during that time, he

also received a letter from a mysterious sender. What I mean to say is that, it is

possible that this writing is not from the students themselves but from the blue

letter.

17 | P a g e

Now if we will think about the reaction of Zita, for her, the writing that Reteche

read was unfair and unclear. According to Zita, the writing does not have a good

introduction, smooth transition; it’s not a good writing at all. However, in spite of

the poor and dull content of this writing, Reteche decided to read this, and because

of that, Zita became seriously curios about what it means, and what it meant to

Reteche. You see, when you’re in love, when you feel something special for someone,

although that someone has clear flaws, you will not focus on that, rather, what you

want to notice is the thing that he wants to notice.

Now let’s talk about the way how Reteche teach. I think, in this story we can learn

something about teaching. We can see here that for a teacher to become effective in

his teaching, he or she must communicate clearly. The author said that Reteche

oftentimes used deep words that are not yet comprehensible to the students’

learning level. And the fact that the students need to use dictionary when they

listen to Reteche tells us that this teacher is not communicating properly according

to their level. You see, part of the weaknesses of today’s teaching is with regards to

communication and language. Without “clarity” there is no “understanding.” And in

the classroom, the teacher is the key to “Clarity.” It is his/her responsibility. And

speaking of language, because of todays overriding philosophy of globalization, the

English language becomes the dominant language in our nation, it becomes the 2nd

language. But our abnormal interest to this 2nd language made our spirit of

nationalism to deteriorate, and because of that, we have an identity crisis as a

nation, and I tell you this is a real mess.

Also, add to this, another problem that I see in the classroom today is shown in this

scenario. We can see in the story that Zita wanted to come to Reteche, but she can’t

do it, she was hesitant to speak with Reteche, because she was intimidated by his

face. And according to her, she will talk only with Reteche, if the eyes of her teacher

will become gentle. Point teacher is: You cannot build relationship with your

students if they are intimidated to talk with you. You must learn to smile.

He never went to church, but then, that always went with learning and education, did it

not?

One night Bue saw him coming out of the dim doorway. He watched again and the

following night he saw him again. They would not believe it, they must see it with their

own eyes and so they came. He did not go in every night, but he could be seen at the

most unusual hours, sometimes at dusk, sometimes at dawn, once when it was storming

and the lightning etched ragged paths from heaven to earth. Sometimes he stayed for a

few minutes, sometimes he came twice or thrice in one evening.

They reported it to Father Cesareo but it seemed that he already knew. "Let a peaceful

man alone in his prayers." The answer had surprised them.

I laugh when I read this. We can see here that the people are so curiosed about

Reteche night or dawn shift activities. And by the way, why is he going outside in

18 | P a g e

the middle of the night where nobody is around? What’s there in the night? Is he a

monster? The fact that there was a man namely “Bue” who became occupied with

Reteche’s behavior tells us that Reteche is the topic of the barrio until this time.

However, in spite of this, Father Cesareo, who is a third priest mentioned in this

story, defended Reteche’s situation by saying, “Why bother this man?” Maybe his

praying or he just want to find a time to be alone with himself and to think things

through in his life. Now this may sound that Reteche is a religious man, but

according to the author, he said that Reteche does not go to church. And for the

barrio people when you don’t go to church it might be because you’re an intellectual

man. That’s because oftentimes, it is thought that going to church is for the poor

only, for the unlearned. But of course, this is weird, but in spite of this weirdness,

we can see lot of men practicing this belief in their daily life. They are ashamed (if

not afraid) to go to church because for them, religion is for the weak minded and for

the poor only. Well, this is garbage idea! Real education and intelligence must lead

you t o the existence of God!

The sky hangs over Anayat, in the middle of the Anayat Sea, like an inverted wineglass,

a glass whose wine had been spilled, a purple wine of which Anayat was the last

precious drop. For that is Anayat in the crepuscule, purple and mellow, sparkling and

warm and effulgent when there is a moon, cool and heady and sensuous when there is

no moon.

Wow, based upon this statement, Anayat is a beautiful place; seems more beautiful

than Boracay. A site like this is a good and romantic dating place.

One may drink of it and forget what lies beyond a thousand miles, beyond a thousand

years; one may sip it at the top of a jagged cliff, nearer peace, nearer God, where one can

see the ocean dashing against the rocks in eternal frustration, more moving, more

terrible than man's; or touch it to his lips in the lush shadows of the dama de noche, its

blossoms iridescent like a thousand fireflies, its bouquet the fragrance of flowers that

know no fading.

The description that author wrote about Anayat’s aerial scenary is very inspiring,

encouraging, and stimulating. I don’t know why the author shifted into this

description, but I think, maybe the reason is to relate the beautiful scenary of

Anayat to Reteche’s privacy during afternoon and the night. Aside from the

safetiness of the place, it seems that the author wants to tell us that the scenary is

good for meditation, for aloneness. And yes I believe, if a person is stress, I think it

would help him to be in a place where there is a beautiful scenary, so that he can

relax from his mental tiredness. This tells us that nature is a gift of God to us. The

nature reveals the goodness and the power of God. And it is not wonder why when

we are alone with nature, it seems that we hear the Nature saying and singing that

God is there, we are not alone, and that we can bring to Him our prayers. And I

think, in the case of Reteche if he just only cried to God during his private times, as

he behold the beauty of nature, I think he will have the strength to move on from

his broken hearted love. But of course, since the author of this story is an

19 | P a g e

unbeliever, not a Christian, but maybe a Catholic, he can appreciate the beauty of

creation, but not the presence and goodness of the Creator, and that’s a mess my

friend, that’s a big mess!

Zita sat by her open window, half asleep, half dreaming. Francisco B. Reteche; what a

name! What could his nickname be. Paking, Frank, Pa… The night lay silent and

expectant, a fairy princess waiting for the whispered words of a lover. She was not a bit

sleepy; already she had counted three stars that had fallen to earth, one almost directly

into that bush of dama de noche at their garden gate, where it had lighted the lamps of

a thousand fireflies. He was not so forbidding now, he spoke less frequently to himself,

more frequently to her; his eyes were still unseeing, but now they rested on her. She

loved to remember those moments she had caught him looking when he thought she did

not know. The knowledge came keenly, bitingly, like the sea breeze at dawn, like the

prick of the rose's thorn, or--yes, like the purple liquid that her father gave the visitors

during pintakasi which made them red and noisy. She had stolen a few drops one day,

because she wanted to know, to taste, and that little sip had made her head whirl.

T his is the bone-tickling part in the story, but sorry I have no time to elaborate this

beautiful part, but this is one of my “likes” in the story. This is about a “lady” who

begins to love, who begins to feel the sweetness and the rosiness of love in her heart.

And you know what, for me, the most beautiful scenary on planet earth is the “in-

love” woman. And I think, women are more sweetly electrified when they are in

love. I think they are the ones who think much, than man. Well I know I am biased,

but let me just to do it this time.

The description of the author about Zita is good, I really like it. And truly it is really

good that our hearts are filled with love. Our surrounding becomes colorful, we see

many stars falling down from the sky, and we see many fireflies around us that give

us joy. Truly this is the time when people say we are “inspired.” And as the author

describes it, when our eyes is fixed to the one we love “The knowledge came keenly,

bitingly, like the sea breeze at dawn, like the prick of the rose's thorn…” I like this, I

really do. You cannot resist the “arrow” of love; it will bite us with “kilig to the

bones” effect. The point is: To love is sweet and delicious. And I think this is also

God’s gift to us, to feel that we are indeed alive, oh very romantic, very exciting, and

very inspiring, only not to be corrupted by lust.

At this point the author tells us the full name of “Reteche” which is “Francisco B.

Reteche.” And to tell you, I can’t accept this, Reteche’s name is same with mine. The

“Kiko” in this story is a “loner.” But this is the humour that I see in the story. If you

love someone, you want to know his/her fullname. And if you got to know his full

name, you begin to search what is his/her nickname. And in the case of Reteche,

what’s good in the nickname “Paking” sounds old and ancient. But you know what,

in the ears and lips of Zita, the nickname “Paking” is a term of endearment. That’s

how love is; it is strong to make you beautiful or handsome in the eyes of your lover.

Also, we can see in this setting that Zita and Reteche had some mutual

understanding. Again the author didn’t put details about what happen, there is no

20 | P a g e

smooth transistion, but the important thing is, they seems to have a mutual feeling

with each other. However, based upon the author’s description, it seems to me that

Zita is the only one described who is so much affected.

Suddenly she stiffened; a shadow had emerged from the shrubs and had been lost in the

other shadows. Her pulses raced, she strained forward. Was she dreaming? Who was it?

A lost soul, an unvoiced thought, the shadow of a shadow, the prince from his tryst with

the fairy princess? What were the words that he whispered to her?

For me, I can’t see if Reteche had come during this sweet daydreaming of Zita.

What I can see here is that, the heartbeat of Zita beats faster and stronger because

as if she sensed the presence of Reteche coming to her.

They who have been young once say that only youth can make youth forget itself; that

life is a river bed; the water passes over it, sometimes it encounters obstacles and cannot

go on, sometimes it flows unencumbered with a song in every bubble and ripple, but

always it goes forward. When its way is obstructed it burrows deeply or swerves aside

and leaves its impression, and whether the impress will be shallow and transient, or

deep and searing, only God determines.

I don’t know if this is what Reteche told to Zita during that moment of sweetness.

The transition is not clear to me. I don’t know who is talking here, to whom it is

addressed, or what is the situation. However, what we can see in the statement is

the nature of life, particularly the life of the youth. Life is compared to a river, it

always goes forward; you cannot hold it back. Life can go forward towards evil or

good, and the the author is telling us that this “river” called “life” is in the hands of

God, and that is true. Actually, I’m still guessing about what’s the connection of this

statement to the whole point of the story. I have some considerations in mind, but I

don’t have time to put it here. It’s about moving forward in life, with consideration

to the Providence of God, but I can see this fact in the attitude of Reteche. He’s not

moving forward in a positive sense.

The people remembered the day when he went up Don Eliodoro's house, the light of a

great decision in his eyes, and finally accepted the father's request that he teach his

daughter "to be a lady."

"We are going to the city soon, after the next harvest perhaps; I want her not to feel like a

'provinciana' when we get there."

Again, there is no smooth transition here. But we can see in here the observation of

the people around Reteche. We don’t know what’s the reason for Reteche’s

hesitation to teach Zita how to dance, how to dress, and how to act like a gracious

city girl. Maybe, Reteche knew the hidden agenda of Eliodoro, and based upon the

people’s interest for him to teach Zita, it seems it likes to imply that the people in

the barrio want this two to become lovers. If this is the case, I like this, because for

me, “Courtship” is a community project.

21 | P a g e

It is not clear from the story if the planned-travel of Zita and his father Eliodoro

would be long term or just for a vacation. But I guess, in their case, maybe they

have a planned in the future to live permanently in the city, considering that they

are rich and maybe they own a house there. Well, the author is silent about this,

and maybe this is not the point of his story. But for me, as an observer, I can add

details for the greater understanding of the story, because I believe, if you can

polish this story, you can make this a very good “Teledrama.” Actually

commentators are needed for making a “story” a good story.

They remembered the time when his walks by the seashore became less solitary, for now

of afternoons, he would draw the whole crowd of village boys from their game of leapfrog

or patintero and bring them with him. And they would go home hours after sunset with

the wonderful things that Mr. Reteche had told them, why the sea is green, the sky blue,

what one who is strong and fearless might find at that exact place where the sky meets

the sea. They would be flushed and happy and bright-eyed, for he could stand on his

head longer than any of them, catch more crabs, send a pebble skimming over the breast

of Anayat Bay farthest.

Again we have a reminiscence here. I am glad to see here that Reteche had already

moved on. Well maybe he just needs time. Time is a good healer of wounded

feelings, though it will not guarantee to remove the scar. Reteche’s emotion is now

calm and his eyes are now cheerful. Again the author didn’t put the reason and the

transistion of what happen. The only thing that we can see here is that, this

Reteche is now somewhat in love with Eliodoro’s daughter. At this juncture, we can

now see Reteche playing with children, enjoying their company, telling jokes, in

other words, he is now happy, the loner man is gone, and maybe the obvious reason

is because he’s “in love.” Joy is the fruit of love.

Now, it is good and manly for a man to love in truth and in loyalty. A two-timer

man is disgusting. Yes, there are men, (young men if you will) who will find

themselves “busted” in their courting. But he must move on and try again. Yes, it is

sad, and it hurts you know, when you are “busted” by your admired girl, but guys,

there are so many woman in the world, and everyday they are always upgraded.

Certainly there’s a woman out there who will love you just the way you are and

when you find that woman, be sure that you will love her with all honesty and

purity.

Turong still remembered those ominous, terrifying nights when he had got up cold and

trembling to listen to the aching groan of the bamboo floor, as somebody in the other

room restlessly paced to and fro. And his pupils still remember those mornings he

received their flowers, the camia which had fainted away at her own fragrance, the

kampupot, with the night dew still trembling in its heart; receive them with a smile and

forget the lessons of the day and tell them all about those princesses and fairies who

dwelt in flowers; why the dama de noche must have the darkness of the night to bring

out its fragrance; how the petals of the ylang-ylang, crushed and soaked in some liquid,

would one day touch the lips of some wondrous creature in some faraway land whose

eyes were blue and hair golden.

22 | P a g e

I don’t know why we read many recollections in this scenario, but this is how the

mind of the author thinks. But in this case, we can learn that Reteche is indeed in

love, and the effect of it is that he became a good story teller. When you’re in love

you have so much stories to tell! And here, the author is telling us that Reteche is

telling stories about “fairy tales.” And you know what, speaking of fairy tales, we

Filipinos have many “fairy tales” to tell based from our culture that if we will just

proudly present to the world, even the West will find it interesting and it will sell. If

we spend excellent budget in the creation of our “fairy tales” and make it a first-rate

and competent 3D movie, I really believe we can go equal with the “Clash of the

Titans” movie. The problem with us today as Filipino is that we lack the spirit of

Nationalism.

Those were days of surprises for Zita. Box after box came in Turong's sailboat and each

time they contained things that took the words from her lips. Silk as sheer and

perishable as gossamer, or heavy and shiny and tinted like the sunset sky; slippers with

bright stones which twinkled with the least movement of her feet; a necklace of green,

flat, polished stone, whose feel against her throat sent a curious choking sensation

there; perfume that she must touch her lips with. If only there would always be such

things in Turong's sailboat, and none of those horrid blue envelopes that he always

brought. And yet--the Virgin have pity on her selfish soul--suppose one day Turong

brought not only those letters but the writer as well? She shuddered, not because she

feared it but because she knew it would be.

In this scenario, we can see Zita surprised, when she saw the cosmetics or beautiful

dresses delivered to her by Turong. I think it is Reteche who suggested or ordered

this stuff for Zita, because maybe he knows more about how to make Zita attractive.

Zita wish that this stuff will make Reteche preoccupied and not the presence of that

“blue letter” that makes the young man out of his mind.

Also, for some unknown reason, Zita somehow felt that just as how Turong

delivered these cosmetic and beautiful clothes, he will also deliver Reteche back to

the city. She feared about it, but somehow expects it to happen. The effect of that

“blue letter” in Reteche must end, and she must do about it, if she wants to maintain

the heart of Reteche in love with her. In a subtle way, if I were Zita, I will certainly

make Turong my accomplice for not letting that “blue letter” to be delivered to

Reteche. The technique is, to defeat your rival, break the connection or sabotage the

connection.

"Why are these dresses so tight fitting?" Her father wanted to know.

"In society, women use clothes to reveal, not to hide." Was that a sneer or a smile in his

eyes? The gown showed her arms and shoulders and she had never known how round

and fair they were, how they could express so many things.

To all the girls, do you think this is true? For me, I think this is true in our time

today. The clothes of many women today are not for the purpose of covering, but for

the purpose of presentation. This is rooted from a lustful idea, that womanhood is

23 | P a g e

best known, appreciate, and long for through their sexy body, not their character.

Again, what a mess! And you know what, this story also tells me that the city is

always the center of evil in our country.

"Why do these dresses have such bright colors?" "Because the peacock has bright

feathers."

It seems true that colorful dress fitted to your complexion creates an illusion in the

eyes. Don’t you see it, that when a person, however ugly he/she is, when clothed

with beautiful clothes, and scrubbed with good foundation, somehow the ugliness is

lessen. There’s something in make up, it really makes you up! This is the effective

weapon of women against the men!

"They paint their lips…" "So that they can smile when they do not want to."

Wow, so that’s how it is? Well somehow I see this, when a woman puts lipstick, it

seems that his creating a smile on his face. Somehow there’s this “bloom” effect on

his face.

"And their eyelashes are long." "To hide deception."

Hm, how? Well maybe true, because as someone has said, the eye is the door thru

our emotion.

He was not pleased like her father; she saw it, he had turned his face toward the

window. And as she came nearer, swaying like a lily atop its stalk she heard the harsh,

muttered words:

"One would think she'd feel shy or uncomfortable, but no… oh no… not a bit… all

alike… comes naturally."

You know what, Reteche is so potato head. Why not pleased with Zita’s beautiful

transformation? What a killjoy! I think this is the most disappointing moment for

women. That is, you did all your best, you prepared enough for a certain special

man in your heart, and yet when he comes and he does not even see you, or he does

not appreciate the change that you painfully went through for him, isn’t too

hurting? You must leave this kind of man. And in the case of Zita, what a sad thing

to know that somehow, there is still unsatisfaction in the heart of Reteche. It seems,

he wasn’t moved deeply by Zita’s beautiful transformation. What a mushroom head!

What a mosquitoe attitude! Read the statement of this potato head as he talks to

Zita,

There were books to read; pictures, names to learn; lessons in everything; how to polish

the nails, how to use a fan, even how to walk. How did these days come, how did they

go? What does one do when one is so happy, so breathless? Sometimes they were a

memory, sometimes a dream.

24 | P a g e

"Look, Zita, a society girl does not smile so openly; her eyes don't seek one's so--that

reveals your true feelings."

"But if I am glad and happy and I want to show it?"

"Don't. If you must show it by smiling, let your eyes be mocking; if you would invite with

your eyes, repulse with your lips."

That was a memory.

Now I think this is the reason why Reteche is still unsatisfied, and for me his reply

and attitude here for Zita is so cold, boring, and killjoy. If this is what is meant to be

a city girl, then it’s no good. But of course, in obedeience to Eliodoro’s request, he

needs to mould Zita according to city’s expectation. But I just wonder if this is really

what it means to act like a true lady during time, or maybe Reteche was just

making Zita talk and act according to the manner of his original Zita. Maybe, this is

the true reason why Reteche is not pleased, because this Zita is not acting according

to his admired figure.

In our case today, if this is the idea concerning beauty and womanhood, then, it is

no wonder why hypocrisy is dominant among the ladies of our country today.

She was in a great drawing room whose floor was so polished it reflected the myriad red

and green and blue fights above, the arches of flowers and ribbons and streamers. All

the great names of the capital were there, stately ladies in wonderful gowns who walked

so, waved their fans so, who said one thing with their eyes and another with their lips.

And she was among them and every young and good-looking man wanted to dance with

her. They were all so clever and charming but she answered: "Please, I am tired." For

beyond them she had seen him alone, he whose eyes were dark and brooding and

disapproving and she was waiting for him to take her.

That was a dream. Sometimes though, she could not tell so easily which was the dream

and which the memory.

Wow, when I read this, I felt happy for Reteche and Zita, but to my disappointment,

it was just a dream. However, the point that Zita was unable sometimes to

distinquish what is a dream, memory, and reality, tells us that she was so heavily

in love with this potato head guy. And I guess, since dream comes because of too

much thinking, I guess Zita internalized and felt bad about what Reteche said to

her. And you know what, this is one of sadness of our women today. It’s because we

so lack men who can tell to our women the truth in a caring and sweet way, like

Kenshin Himura. And so boys, we should not let the emotion of our women to be

hurt because we say unguarded and unthoughtful statements about them. We men

may be more logical and practical than women, but we need to deal with them with

care, because their emotion is fragile. So just for example, you don’t like the way a

certain lady dress herself, you can tell her what you see in a caring way, not in a

vulgar and boisterious manner.

25 | P a g e

And in the case of Reteche, there is a root reason why he is not happy with Zita.

Think about this scenario,

If only those letters would not bother him now, he might be happy and at peace. True he

never answered them, but every time Turong brought him one, he would still become

thoughtful and distracted. Like that time he was teaching her a dance, a Spanish dance,

he said, and had told her to dress accordingly. Her heavy hair hung in a big, carelessly

tied knot that always threatened to come loose but never did; its dark, deep shadows

showing off in startling vividness how red a rose can be, how like velvet its petals. Her

earrings--two circlets of precious stones, red like the pigeon's blood--almost touched her

shoulders. The heavy Spanish shawl gave her the most trouble--she had nothing to help

her but some pictures and magazines--she could not put it on just as she wanted. Like

this, it revealed her shoulder too much; that way, it hampered the free movement of the

legs. But she had done her best; for hours she had stood before her mirror and for hours

it had told her that she was beautiful, that red lips and tragic eyes were becoming to

her.

Now sink this in your mind my reader, you cannot move on unless you forget the

past, much more if you don’t cut your connection with your past. I think in this

story, Reteche could, he is able to move on forward to his new found love, if he just

cut the connection of his past. But this teacher is foolish enough to think and do

that. He let his emotion and imagination to take over rather than his big brain.You

see, because of his unreasonable sadness, he is continuesly slaved by his past and of

the things of the past. You see, the key to “move on” is to “cut” the communication of

the past. Don’t let your past dictates your present! You need to let go! And you know

what men! When you decided to court a girl and she gave to you her sweet “Yes” you

need to be fair to her. Just in case you have an immature love in the past, you need

to let go of that, and just focus on her, nurturing her by your love. Don’t dwell in

your past love mistakes and hurts, yes you might need to tell her what happened to

you in the past, but still, after that, you need to move on and assured her that she

alone is the only one that matters most to you, not your past. And add to that, don’t

ever, ever compare her with the woman of your past, that’s not good and that’s

unfair. True love is focused to one (not two) in emotion and in mind.

And to our ladies, take note of this, in spite of the many efforts you did so that you’ll

become beautiful in dress, in body, and in manners, still that effort is useless in the

eyes of a two-timer. Every woman then should find a man who has a strong

principle, stick to one, and the emotion is stable when it comes to loving you. Don’t

love a man who will just make you a “Cover up” for the pain of the past.

She'd never forget that look on his face when she came out. It was not surprise, joy,

admiration. It was as if he saw somebody there whom he was expecting, for whom he

had waited, prayed.

"Zita!" It was a cry of recognition.

She blushed even under her rouge when he took her in his arms and taught her to step

this way, glide so, turn about; she looked half questioningly at her father for

26 | P a g e

disapproval, but she saw that there was nothing there but admiration too. Mr. Reteche

seemed so serious and so intent that she should learn quickly; but he did not deceive

her, for once she happened to lean close and she felt how wildly his heart was beating. It

frightened her and she drew away, but when she saw how unconcerned he seemed, as if

he did not even know that she was in his arms, she smiled knowingly and drew close

again. Dreamily she closed her eyes and dimly wondered if his were shut too, whether

he was thinking the same thoughts, breathing the same prayer.

R eteche admired again the beautiful transformation of Zita. But sad to say, this

admiration is not motivated by Zita’s beauty herself, but by the beauty of an

admired woman in the past whom he remembered in the person of Zita. The cry of

recognition “Zita!” is not for Zita the student, but for Zita of the past. Reteche

thought she saw the original Zita that time, but after a moment of realization, his

recognition became dissatisfaction.

Now this is not good. Just imagine you are a girl, and you have done all your best to

dress and look pretty for the one you admired, and then in his heart, what he sees

in you is not you but another woman.

We can also see here the memorable dance in the life of Zita. This is the most

romantic dance and moment in her life as young woman. Yes her feet enjoy the

dance, must most especially her heart; her heart leaps for joy because she is held by

a man whom she loves.

The author tells us that there is also strong heartbeat in Reteche’s heart for Zita.

But again not all “heartbeat” beats for one, because there are two-timers or three-

timers, or 100 timer beats. In case of the double minded Reteche, if his heart is

beating for Zita, it’s because Zita is the name of the one he loves in the past, and

even in the present. He is so crazy for the past Zita and therefore he is crazy man.

Turong came up and after his respectful "Good evening" he handed an envelope to the

school teacher. It was large and blue and had a gold design in one corner; the

handwriting was broad, angular, sweeping.

"Thank you, Turong." His voice was drawling, heavy, the voice of one who has just

awakened. With one movement he tore the unopened envelope slowly, unconsciously, it

seemed to her, to pieces.

"I thought I had forgotten," he murmured dully.

That changed the whole evening. His eyes lost their sparkle, his gaze wandered from

time to time. Something powerful and dark had come between them, something which

shut out the light, brought in a chill. The tears came to her eyes for she felt utterly

powerless. When her sight cleared she saw that he was sitting down and trying to piece

the letter together.

"Why do you tear up a letter if you must put it together again?" rebelliously.

27 | P a g e

He looked at her kindly. "Someday, Zita, you will do it too, and then you will

understand."

We can see in this scenario the true content of the heart of Reteche. Reteche

thought and experimented that if he can focus his attention to his student Zita, he

will forget the past Zita of his life. Well I guess if he was just determined and

principled as a man, he will certainly forget the past Zita, but because he is so

emotional and gayish in his focus, he can’t forget the past. And to this, I will say

that the depiction of the author concerning Reteche is not a good example and

image for the young men of today. Reteche in the end shows a man who is so

imprisoned by the past. He is coward to cut the unreasonable hurts of the past, and

because of this I will not recommend his attitude as a character in this story as your

role model. Reteche is gay! He is not strong! He is emotionally unstable.

Again if Reteche just cut the bondage and connection of the past in his very

emotional heart, then I think he can move on. But sad to say, he continuously opens

his heart to the letter, to the memories, and to the statements of his past woman. In

the first place, it is not good and fair to love or seek love from another if you are still

bounded by a memory of an emotional attachment in the past; because if you do,

you do harm not only to yourself but to others as well. So I think when Reteche said,

“I thought I had forgotten” I believe his a fool when he said that. How can your

forget the memory of the past if you are so wide open, expectant, and willful to

receive it? This foolish Reteche is deceiving himself. And I think this description of

Arturo about Reteche is a big danger to the manhood of our young men. Reteche is

indeed like a moth, - a fool! The story if you dig deeper on the values and spirit of it,

it is not only about unrequited love, but also contains reasons why most “loves”

today are immature and without determination and direction.

By the way, this scenario is closely and designly connected with the last scenario of

the story. I don’t have a time to explain the connection, and so I just want you to

take note of that.

One day Turong came from Pauambang and this time he brought a stranger. They knew

at once that he came from where the teacher came--his clothes, his features, his

politeness--and that he had come for the teacher. This one did not speak their dialect,

and as he was led through the dusty, crooked streets, he kept forever wiping his face,

gazing at the wobbly, thatched huts and muttering short, vehement phrases to himself.

Zita heard his knock before Mr. Reteche did and she knew what he had come for. She

must have been as pale as her teacher, as shaken, as rebellious. And yet the stranger

was so cordial; there was nothing but gladness in his greeting, gladness at meeting an

old friend. How strong he was; even at that moment he did not forget himself, but

turned to his class and dismissed them for the day.

Now in this scenario, we can see that there was a stranger who came to Anayat.

According to the author, this stranger is a friend of Reteche. His personality is

different from Reteche, because this man is more on showy and self-confident, but

28 | P a g e

he can’t speak the language of the barrio, a disadvantage for a stranger in a foreign

land. But this is not big deal for this man, because he just came here in order to

visit a friend or fetch him.

Now the visitation of this man may tell us that maybe the school year has already

ended and Reteche’s teaching assignment in Anayat is done and of course time to

go. I have a guess that maybe this man is a co-teacher of Reteche in a particular

school in the city. Well, we don’t have details to support this guess, but it doesn’t

matter, because the author gives us full the priviledge in this story to guess a lot.

The door was thick and she did not dare lean against the jamb too much, so sometimes

their voices floated away before they reached her.

"…like children… making yourselves… so unhappy."

"…happiness? Her idea of happiness…"

Mr. Reteche's voice was more low-pitched, hoarse, so that it didn't carry at all. She

shuddered as he laughed, it was that way when he first came.

"She's been… did not mean… understand."

"…learning to forget…"

There were periods when they both became excited and talked fast and hard; she heard

somebody's restless pacing, somebody sitting down heavily.

"I never realized what she meant to me until I began trying to seek from others what

she would not give me."

She knew what was coming now, knew it before the stranger asked the question:

"Tomorrow?"

She fled; she could not wait for the answer.

Now in this scenario, we can again guess that the original Zita who is reigning

majestically in the heart of Reteche might be the one who left or was the one left by

Reteche. Well both sides can lead us to a different conclusion and reason for

Reteche’s cry baby attitude in the story. The author did not give us sufficient detail

about the original Zita and Reteche’s connection with her, and so it’s really hard for

us to conclude about them. But if we will base on the choppy statements that the

student Zita heard from Reteche and his friend, we can again guess that maybe

Reteche was the one who left the original Zita. And if this is true, then all of my

comment from the very beginning will change, but one thing for sure, I will

definitely crush down Reteche’s character to the dust of criticism. This statement

from this scenario is very interesting to observe, Reteche said, "I never realized

29 | P a g e

what she meant to me until I began trying to seek from others what she would not

give me." Who is he talking about here? The original Zita? If it is, then this is the

key to the problem in the story, and I know now the answer, but I need another

commentary.

On the other hand, it seems that the author is also telling us that the reason why

Reteche left original Zita is because there’s something wrong with this girl’s GMRC

(Good manners and right conduct). Again if this is the case, my comments from the

very beginning will change, and I will certainly focus my comments to the mistakes

and weaknesses of the original Zita. But of course, I don’t have time and effort to do

this, and so I leave that guessing to you.

So maybe, the reason why Reteche went to Anayat was to forget this girl, either to

prove that he loves her still in spite of who she is, or maybe she went to Anayat to

forget the hurts that this girl gave him when she left him. Now, sorry for these

meandering comments, but this is what happen when you think much of the story.

There are other details or guessing actually that I want put or share here, but time

and interest hinder me to do it.

Now, maybe the original Zita who might left Reteche was maybe so disturbed by

what happen to Reteche and so maybe she sent this man, this friend of Reteche to

Anayat, so that through him she can clarify things or deliver a message that will

settle things between Reteche and her.

Now, about Zita the student, she wasn’t able to hear all the complete details from

the conversation between the two. But for her, she felt that this conversation will

lead to near departure of the one whom she loves – Reteche, her teacher.

He did not sleep that night, she knew he did not, she told herself fiercely. And it was not

only his preparations that kept him awake, she knew it, she knew it. With the first

flicker of light she ran to her mirror. She must not show her feeling, it was not in good

form, she must manage somehow. If her lips quivered, her eyes must smile, if in her

eyes there were tears… She heard her father go out, but she did not go; although she

knew his purpose, she had more important things to do. Little boys came up to the house

and she wiped away their tears and told them that he was coming back, coming back,

soon, soon.

In this scenario, it seems that Reteche is inside the house of Eliodoro, and I have a

guess that it started when he decided to teach Zita how to dance, that is when both

of them have a mutual feeling. Both Reteche and Zita were unable to sleep well that

night. In the case of Reteche, maybe he was thinking about his near departure, Zita

his student, and the original Zita.

In the case of Zita the student, she was unable to sleep because maybe of the reason

that Reteche will now go. And yes, this is true and very uncomfortable to

experience. The feeling of being left alone is hard, more so when you know that you

30 | P a g e

might not be able to see each other again. This is hard, especially for ladies who is

so in love. This is pain. But in this case, it is good to see that Zita was able to

practice what Reteche taught her. In this difficult situation of her life where it’s

hard to control the tears to flow from your eyes, she must still try her best to

maintain her composure and so “If her lips quivered, her eyes must smile.”

The minutes flew, she was almost done now; her lips were red and her eyebrows

penciled; the crimson shawl thrown over her shoulders just right. Everything must be

like that day he had first seen her in a Spanish dress. Still he did not come, he must be

bidding farewell now to Father Cesareo; now he was in Doña Ramona's house; now he

was shaking the barber's hand. He would soon be through and come to her house. She

glanced at the mirror and decided that her lips were not red enough; she put on more

color. The rose in her hair had too long a stem; she tried to trim it with her fingers and a

thorn dug deeply into her flesh.

Reteche bid “good byes” to many. And while doing so, while not yet going into Zita’s

house; Zita gave all her best to prepare herself for Reteche’s goodbye. This

preparation is the most important one. She made it sure that she wears the best

dress and her make up is perfect. She must look like the day when Reteche held her

hand and danced with her. And I guess the reason why Zita did all this

beautification is maybe because she wants to attract Reteche again, so that this

young man will not go. Maybe Zita thought her beauty can prevent the man from

going, and so she tried all her best to make herself beautiful and irresistible for

every man to behold. She applied all the techniques that she learned from her

teacher. And speaking of women, I think it is natural to them to attract for

attention, not because they lack attention but because it’s their nature to call the

men’s attention. This is teaching us then that the solution for a girl who does not

know how to dress herself beautifully is to let her fall in love. Love makes a girl

beautiful. And second, if you want a girl to become beautiful, don’t pay attention to

her. How? Why? That’s because by nature women wants attention; they long to be

noticed even by an ugly one. And so for example an ugly man does not give

attention to a woman, that woman may think that she is not that beautiful enough

to be noticed, and so she will do her best to beautify herself because if an ugly is not

attracted to her, how much more the handsome ones.

Who knows? Perhaps they would soon meet again in the city; she wondered if she could

not wheedle her father into going earlier. But she must know now what were the words he

had wanted to whisper that night under the dama de noche, what he had wanted to say

that day he held her in his arms; other things, questions whose answers she knew. She

smiled. How well she knew them!

Ah, so this is the reason of her glorious cosmetical preparation. She wants to know

what’s really inside Reteche’s heart. She wants to know what this young man

wanted to say during the romantic night where Reteche held her hand. But will the

situation go according to Zita’s preparation and plan?

31 | P a g e

The big house was silent as death; the little village seemed deserted, everybody had

gone to the seashore. Again she looked at the mirror. She was too pale, she must put on

more rouge. She tried to keep from counting the minutes, the seconds, from getting up

and pacing. But she was getting chilly and she must do it to keep warm.

The cemetery like silence in the house of Zita is an exact picture for what is inside

her heart. She tried her best to deny what will really going to happen. She still

hopes for good turn over of things. She wants to stop Reteche’s departure, but she is

afraid to show her full emotion because the time is not yet ripe for the confession,

but what can she do?

In spite of her obvious beauty and irresistible attractiveness, the sadness in Zita’s

heart is also obvious in her gentle face. This is teaching us that we cannot cover up

sadness with expensive and beautiful clothes. If the heart is sad, beautiful clothes

fades from the scenario of attention easily. You see, what makes a person blooming

is not his/her clothes or her make-up, but first of all the condition of the heart which

is soaked in love. That’s why when we see a person, who might not have beautiful

clothes and make-up, but he/she is enthusiastic and happy, we can easily say that

he or she is “blooming.” So what makes you blooming is not your “form” but your

attitude, or the content of your heart. If your heart is “in-love” blooming is “natural.”

If your attitude is right, your form will be right.

The steps creaked. She bit her lips to stifle a wild cry there. The door opened.

"Turong!"

In this scenario Zita thought that the one who goes upstairs is Reteche, the one for

whom she makes all her preparation. But to his sad disappointment, the man that

she expects didn’t come. Oh….poor Zita.

"Mr. Reteche bade me give you this. He said you would understand."

Now, I tell you this is painful, this is heart-crushing. Reteche didn’t come, only his

letter. What a sad scenario, and it’s hard for me to comment here. I think this is the

most core part in the story. This is the emotional part of the story, the climax of

hurt and disappointed anticipation.

I think Reteche was not able to face Zita, maybe because if he did, he might not be

able to leave the barrio. Maybe, he already feels something for the young lady, and

he’s just controlling it. Or maybe he just don’t want to see Zita, because the lady

was so developed or in love with him, and so seeing her and bid goodbye will just

worsen the heartaches and hurts of the young lady. Maybe he does not want it to

happen to Zita, the feeling of being left by the one you love.

In one bound she had reached the open window. But dimly, for the sun was too bright, or

was her sight failing?--she saw a blur of white moving out to sea, then disappearing

32 | P a g e

behind a point of land so that she could no longer follow it; and then, clearly against a

horizon suddenly drawn out of perspective, "Mr. Reteche," tall, lean, brooding, looking at

her with eyes that told her somebody had hurt him. It was like that when he first came,

and now he was gone.

The tears came freely now. What matter, what matter? There was nobody to see and

criticize her breeding. They came down unchecked and when she tried to brush them off

with her hand, the color came away too from her cheeks, leaving them bloodless, cold.

Sometimes they got into her mouth and they tasted bitter.

Her hands worked convulsively; there was a sound of tearing paper, once, twice. She

became suddenly aware of what she had done when she looked at the pieces, wet and

brightly stained with uneven streaks of red. Slowly, painfully, she tried to put the pieces

together and as she did so a sob escaped deep from her breast--a great understanding

had come to her.

Again, this is the sad part of the story, but also the part of the story which I could

say the most beautiful part also. The description is very good and the author left

something for his readers to think about. Actually, if my observation is right and if

I’m not exaggerating, the skill of the author is revealed here. That’s because your

disgustment to know what the author wants to say and mean in this story is

triggered by the authors undetailed way of telling what will exactly happen in the

story. It makes your mind hang in air of guessing. My point is: the author is leaving

us positive or negative side for the fitting ending of the story. He wants you to think

what your ending for the story, and yes I think this is where the geniusness (if I can

say that) of the author is revealed. And you know what, when you observe most of

the films of today, you will also see this technique at the end of the story.

And at this particular ending scenario in the story of Zita, we can see here how

Zita’s heart was so penetrated with deep pain and sorrow. Now, she can’t stop the

pain the makes her heart bleed with blood of tremendous sorrow. This is indeed

pain, especially for a tender woman to experience. What an agony! She wants to cry

hard and loud, but it seems that she can’t make it this time, because there is still

this shockness that delays her eyes and nervous system to painfully cry out, but

when the shock is gone, then, she…cried.

Oh very emotional, this part made me to lose my appetite to eat my chocolate.

Zita really loves Reteche. But it seems that they have the right love at the wrong

time. Or maybe, she has a right love for a wrong man. The man is unstable! But I

give applause to Arturo for making this kind of heartbreaking story of unrequited

love.

It is a beautiful and meaningful ending to see how Zita tears softly, slowly, and

seems unconsciously the letter of Reteche. Now she knows what it means and what

it feels when she asked Reteche during their dance night,

33 | P a g e

"Why do you tear up a letter if you must put it together again?"

Reteche replied,

"Someday, Zita, you will do it too, and then you will understand."

And yes, Zita understands it now clearly but painfully. She now fully understands

the true feeling of Reteche, the feeling maybe of being crushed down, left, and

unloved, and indeed she truly understands now that… love hurts!

Truly, the author gave us a good and dramatic description for the ending of the

story to the point that I can’t comment because of its dramatic beauty. I think, the

author wants us to think that the ending scenario is not the end. It seems to me

that he gave us freedom to continue the story either in a negative or positive way.

And so for you, what do you want to happen as a continuation for this crushing

ending? What do you want as a continuation for the story? Will Reteche and Zita see

each other again in the city? Will they cross path, so that their love will see them

through? What about the original Zita, what will happen to her and Reteche when

they see each other again? Will she say sorry to Reteche? Or will she fall in love

again with Reteche? About Reteche, whose Zita will he choose? Whose Zita will win

his heart?

Well, I think the battle for the hearts begin. Wait for the Sequel “Zitas battle for

Reteche’s heart.”

Who will be the next Arturo Rotor? Let’s wait and see!

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URL for front page picture:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/neumeyer/415749959/sizes/z/in/photostream/