WHAT I WISH I’D KNOWN WHEN I BEGAN YOUNG ADULT & SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY

DISCOVERING KEYS THAT

UNLOCK ANSWERS!Dennis Franck – Consultant/Speaker

Franck Insights

www.franckinsights.com franckinsights@gmail.com

TYPES/AGES OF ADULTS WHO WILL ATTEND

¨ YOUNG ADULT MINISTRY– NEVER MARRIED-mostly ages 18-35– MARRIED – mostly ages 18-35– SOME DIVORCED & SINGLE PARENTS

–mostly ages 18-35

¨ SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY– FORMERLY MARRIED- mostly ages 35-65– WIDOWED-mostly ages 35-65– SINGLE PARENT-mostly ages 20-50– SEPARATED- mostly ages 30-60

(legally married but living a single life)

VAST AGE SPANS(80-90 % attending)

¨ Young Adults ………………18 – 39 yrs¨ Single Adult Ministry……....40 – 65 yrs

¨ Varied… – Interests…– Physical abilities…– Preferences…– Opinions…

SPIRITUAL NEEDS/INTERESTS OF MARRIED & SINGLE ADULTS

¨ SALVATION¨ BAPTISM¨ DISCIPLESHIP¨ OBEDIENCE¨ PRAYER LIFE¨ COMMITMENT¨ BIBLE TEACHING¨ SPIRITUAL GROWTH

COMMON INTERESTS/NEEDS OF SINGLE ADULTS/YOUNG ADULTS (most

ages)

¨ Spiritual Growth¨ Singleness issues¨ Friendships with

same and opposite sex

¨ Money management

¨ Understanding Sexuality

¨ Developing Identity¨ Stress management¨ Coping with

changes¨ Setting goals

¨ Career issues¨ Self esteem¨ Courting/Dating¨ Pre-marital

education¨ Re-marital

education¨ Understanding

emotions¨ Learning to risk¨ Acceptance¨ Dealing with Guilt¨ Loneliness¨ Financial issues

UNIQUE INTERESTS/NEEDS OF SINGLE ADULTS/YOUNG ADULTS

(influenced by age and life circumstances)

¨ Rearing kids alone¨ Shared parenting¨ Relating to ex spouse¨ Time away from kids¨ Extra financial issues¨ Learning to forgive¨ Learning to trust¨ Dating/dating again¨ Divorce Recovery¨ Integrity

¨ Grief Recovery¨ Learning to risk¨ Fitting in¨ Humility¨ Finding my new role¨ Depression¨ Managing anger¨ Blending families¨ Relating to married adults

as a single

ASK THESE QUESTIONS!

Who are we trying to reach?

Why are we trying to reach them?

What are the demographics of our church?

What are the demographics of our community?

ASK THESE QUESTIONS!

What resources do we have now?(People-Facilities-Money-Materials etc.)

What resources do we need to get?

Who else is doing what we want to do?

Same denomination

Other denominations/independent

DESIGN MINISTRY BYAGE AND/OR NEED GROUPS

¨ BY AGE…

¨ 18 – 25 (College age)

¨ 18 – 30 yrs.

¨ Mid 20’s & 30’s

¨ 30+Single/single - again

(35+ if have 20’s & 30”s)

¨ BY NEED….

¨ Married

¨ Single Parents & children-Pre-school-Elementary-Jr/Sr High

¨ Divorce Care & children-Age groups

¨ Widowed

Young Adults/Single Adults 3 Markets

(which one(s) will you reach?)

¨ In YOUR church…

¨ In NO church…

¨ In OTHER churches…

POTENTIAL LABELS ROM. 14:16-DO NOT ALLOW WHAT YOU CONSIDER

GOOD TO BE SPOKEN OF AS EVIL….DON’T CRITICIZE THAT WHICH IS JUSTIFIABLE

¨ LONELY HEARTS CLUB………LONERS

¨ DATING MARKET………………LOVERS

¨ HOSPITAL………….……………..LOSERS

¨ CHURCH………………….……….LEAVERS

¨ PLACE OF/FOR MINISTRY...…..LIVERS

HEALING AND WHOLENESS¨ HEALING AND WHOLENESS

-Spiritual-emotional-relational-physical

¨ EMERGENCY ROOM-Sometimes people need help right now

¨ MOBILITY AND TRANSIENCY REASONS FOR:

50 % TURNOVER EVERY 6-12 MONTHS!… “NUMBERS GAME” -move -no one interests them -unfriendliness-marry -conviction -offended-break up -wrong ages -involved in other-too spiritual -not ok with singleness area of church-not spiritual -biases toward others -philosophy diff.

-DON’T’ WORRY ABOUT IT! WORK AT CLOSING THE BACK DOOR!

-MINISTER TO PEOPLE WHILE THEY ARE THERE!

OPENNESS AND HONESTY

¨ OPENNESS & HONESTY-Tell it like it is

-Frank, bold, honest teaching needed on relevant issues

¨ COUNSELING -Spiritual, relational, emotional, psychological

-Refer to qualified individuals when necessary

-Establish relationships with Christian counselors

HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS

¨ NEED FOR FRIENDSHIPS-Probably the biggest need-Provide varied/many opportunities for-Wholeness comes through healthy friendships– I Cor. 11:11 In God’s plan, men and women

need each other

¨ TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE-Lifter-spiritually/emotionally strong-Leaner- “ “ weak

ENTRANCES/EXITS OF PEOPLE¨ OPEN DOOR

-Everyone is accepted…-Regardless of spiritual, social, mental, physical situations

¨ REVOLVING DOOR -Everyone leaves…-Immediately-later-eventually

¨ SLIDING DOOR-Help mainstream single adults into church-Allow them to leave to minister

INTEGRATION IS THE GOAL!

¨ IT IS THE GOAL FOR MOST PEOPLE TO:

– EVENTUALLY LEAVE THE MINISTRY

– INVOLVE IN THE WHOLE LIFE OF THE CHURCH

– TAKE CHURCH LEADERSHIP POSITIONS

– MIX WITH OTHER TYPES OF PEOPLE

– BECOME COMFORTABLE IN THE TOTAL LIFE OF THE CHURCH

OBTAINING SR PASTOR SUPPORT

¨ Meet with him-regularly to inform him¨ Give him materials¨ Ask for help-budget, promotion, speaking¨ Feature the pastor at a major event¨ Interview board members at a meeting/class¨ Send mailings to them¨ Talk to them at church

PLAN INTENTIONALLY¨ LOCATION-on or off the church

grounds-possible pros & cons¨ FORMAT-components of the meeting,

scheduling of time for each ¨ SEATING-formal or informal, use of

tables and chairs¨ TEACHING-style, topics, discussion

opportunities, question & answer etc.¨ REFRESHMENTS-simple, inexpensive

PRAY CONSISTENTLY AND PERSISTENTLY!

¨ The bigger the ministry, the more prayer is needed! (big machine needs more oil than small machine)

¨ Prayer needs to bathe every part of your ministry!¨ Leadership needs to model prayer!¨ “We have not because we ask not!”¨ II Chron. 7:14-”If my people will humble

themselves and pray…..THEN will I”…¨ Without prayer you are just playing at ministry!¨ Without prayer ministry becomes mechanical!

CORRECT THE MISCONCEPTIONS

¨ Purposes of the ministry-Where are they stated? How often? Are they known?

¨ Image of the ministry and single adults

• Loners-Singles are usually lonely…• Losers-Singles are usually hurting and needy…• Lovers-Singles are usually looking for someone…• Leavers-Singles are usually uncommitted…• Livers-Singles can be effective ministers! (Jesus was

single)

PROVIDE BALANCED TEACHING

¨ TWO TYPES OF TEACHING NEEDED:

– PERSONAL TOPICS- Relationships, Self Esteem, Sexuality, Career choice, Pre-marital issues, Divorce care, Single parenting etc.

– SPIRITUAL TOPICS-Salvation, Faith, Commitment, Prayer, Discipline, Growth, etc.

PROVIDE BALANCED OPPORTUNITIES

¨ Spiritual Opportunities…

¨ Relational Opportunities…

¨ Educational Opportunities…

¨ Social Opportunities…

BUDGET & FINANCES

¨ ANY MINISTRY WORTH HAVING IS WORTH FUNDING!

– Educate the Sr. Pastor/Board

– Realize single adults will give to the cause

– Being part of the church budget is best!

– Take and keep offerings towards ministry costs

PROMOTION

¨ Promote INSIDE the church• Flyers, bulletins, dramas, posters, videos, emails,

visits to adult classes, twitter, facebook, other groups etc.

¨ Promote OUTSIDE the church• Website, posters, business cards, newspaper ads, radio

public service announcements, emails, twitter, facebook, brochures in counseling/shopping centers, laundry mats etc.

UNDERSTAND COUNSELING NEEDS

¨ TYPES NEEDED:

– SPIRITUAL ISSUES– RELATIONAL ISSUES– PERSONAL ISSUES– PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES

PROVIDE AND/OR REFER TO OTHER COUNSELORS

NO VISITORS COMING?

¨ LEADERSHIP SHOULD EVALUATE…– Current promotion– Friendliness of the group– Format of the meeting– Time, location of meeting– Image of the group– Teaching topics, style etc– Opportunities for discussion– Opportunities for fellowship

PLAN LOCAL OUTREACHES¨ Group can easily become inward-focused ¨ Outreach helps single adults look outside of

themselves¨ Outreach will give individuals a bigger

perspective¨ Outreach will give individuals a better

perspective¨ Outreach will give your ministry credibility

LOOK FOR A LEADER¨ The buck needs to stop somewhere!

¨ Appoint a leader to…• Provide a vision• Lead the leadership team • Make decisions• Make relationships with leaders a priority• Make the sacrifices• Spend time in prayer• Set an example for the leadership team

BUILDING LEADERSHIP-ASK…

¨ What responsibilities could/should we delegate?

¨ Who has leadership potential?

(Desires-Skills-Experience-Vision-Good Attitude)

¨ When can I meet with them?

BEGINNING A MINISTRY…PRIMARY LEADERSHIP NEEDED

¨ Hospitality¨ Follow-up¨ Music¨ Discussion leaders¨ Snacks/Food¨ Activities¨ Emcee¨ Teacher

MALE VS. FEMALELeadership

¨ Generally, the older the group, the more important and difficult it is to find male leadership.

¨ ISSUES:– Attracting both genders– Retaining both genders– Egos of men– Perceived authority-men vs. women – Use men in front as much as possible– Organizational ability-men vs. women

MARRIED VS. SINGLELeadership

¨ Generally…– The younger the age group, the more accepting

people are of married couples in leadership.

– The older the age group, the more accepting people are of remarried couples in leadership.

MARRIED VS. SINGLELeadership

¨ Leadership should be predominantly single adults. – Experience– Flexibility of time– Understanding of issues– Respect of peers– Example of life, growth, maturity

PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP

¨ OWNERSHIP-They must “own” the ministry!

-People will support what they help to create!

-You don’t need to make all the decisions!

¨ RESPONSIBILITY-Organize the ministry

-Give people responsibilities

-Trust them with these

PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP¨ AUTHORITY

-Give it--Responsibility without authority is PUPPETRY”

-Accept it--Receive it humbly

-Use it--Don’t run to your authority for every decision

-Respect it--Learn your boundaries

¨ ACCOUNTABILITY-Don’t be afraid of it

-Everyone needs to be accountable to someone

-A system of checks and balances

NETWORK WITH OTHER LEADERS!

¨ YOU CAN LEARN FROM OTHERS!

¨ LOOK FOR OTHER GROUPS/LEADERS

¨ YOUR PEOPLE WANT TO MEET OTHER PEOPLE!

¨ YOUR GROUP NEEDS A LARGER VISION!

Discussion¨ What impacted you from this session?

¨ What ideas do you have as a result of this session?

¨ What changes could/should you make as a result of this session?