Good-bye!

No, I am definitely not about to commit suicide, no, I am not going abroad or to be a hermit, and no, it is not that I never want to see you again, certainly not, - I always hope to see you again. But do you know the origin of this expression, which is another example of the Biblical roots of the English Language? For God equates to Good, - and bye stands for bless you everlasting. Therefore when we say good-bye we are trusting that we will see someone again in heaven if not before. May I wish you: ‘God Bless You Everlasting’, or good-bye for short, is a wholly positive way to end a meeting, and combines well with a hand-shake that extends trust and affirmation that there is no unfinished business, or none that will not be proceeded with, as agreed during the meeting. It dovetails well with an initial: ‘Welcome, - how are you?’ expecting your relationship is sound.

Well, today is my 20 th Spiritual Birthday , it is twenty years since the day I say I became a Christian, and so I am emailing you to mark the occasion, - please forgive me if I go over some themes that I feel are important, much of which you may already know, as I try to put such an anniversary into some context. So I hope you will get something from what I write, but also consider whether there may be an opportunity to meet in the coming years, where it will not be embarrassing to then say good-bye. I would love to get into better communication with you, and I am happy to do so on your terms, understanding that some matters are not simply resolved, - I know that, but I hope we would be able to encourage each other nonetheless.

So what do I say when people ask me how I became a Christian? Well, they don’t often - I have rarely been able to mix in circles where such a question might arise aside perhaps from talking briefly with someone at a Church Service. As an evangelical it is beholden to at a minimum have always ready a relatively polished Testimony (my story of becoming a Christian) as well as the Gospel (Good News of Christ) and I still have these available if you ask me from amongst my writings. But in brief I would say that I went down with a terrible illness while studying at Cambridge that made me want to investigate Christianity when a suitable opportunity arose, which it did first of all through a Christian friend at college, and then by being invited to All Souls, where I had lots of questions that were met along with those of others in a Thursday evening food and social night, prior to Christianity Explained/Explored coming in to being. Gradually, I started to swap sides from asking questions and began to believe there were good Christian answers to very difficult questions, whether they were available or not. Much else I hardly remember, but two of the leaders of the group are still around, and in time maybe they will be able to remind me. I remember saying to one, ‘I think I can see how the cross works, but there must be more to it than that’, to which she replied ‘No, I don’t think that there is.’ Anyway on that day, Easter Sunday 1992, I was at the All Souls evening service, where I just remember that believing many people would be away the upper tier was closed off and empty, and one of the group leaders gave me a short pep talk afterwards. In those days only one in three Central Line services went to Hangar Lane, and it must have been on that evening that I arrived on the platform with that service more than ten minutes away, so I took the alternative getting the Victoria Line one stop to Green Park and then got the Piccadilly Line taking the Rayners Lane train to Park Royal, another station near where I live. And so then around Baron’s Court I felt a lifting in my head followed by an instant belief that Christianity was true and I was a Christian, but I just continued on to my destination and there was no celebration as I just let people know, starting with phoning my mother, as and when the opportunity arose. But, when well, I have never since then doubted my faith.

Unlike many I did not really have anything much in the realm of money, sex, power, drink, drugs, lying, etc. that I now had to face up to and repent of, and I had time from unemployment to allow my faith to settle down along with the next courses at All Souls. What I do not remember as being part of the process of becoming a Christian is feeling any emotional pressure to accept that I was a sinner and that an awful hell awaited me, and I do not feel that such a topic is either too awkward to tell a non-believer or something that has to be stressed in evangelism. Jesus referred to his death only obliquely, He rather spoke of puzzling pictures of the nature of the Kingdom of God, not being intellectual, not speaking of penal substitution (the theory of being saved by the cross, our deserved punishment dealt with by Jesus as our substitute) , and He did not indulge in any emotional pressure on the listener to accept his words. I believe he wanted each person that He encountered to ‘work things out for themselves’, and met them where they were at.

Jesus usually spoke of the positives of believing rather than the negatives of not doing so, and I believe evangelicals now need to explore many other ways of evangelising other than intellectual courses, focussing rather on Jesus command to love one another and just going along at whatever speed and depth that suits the enquirer. It is not right that a church just has resources available for where it would like to ‘ meet’ non-believers, rather it should have many ways of ‘meeting’ them. I really believe that if a person is determined to find faith, or even just determined to explore Christianity fully, then God will always find them, and so the more graceful the manner of their becoming a Christian the better. There are many other ways to become a Christian than having a moment of conversion, such as by coming to faith over a period, having always had faith as a young child, or through some ‘experience’, sometimes I believe even a person can be saved without knowing that they are. And yes I still believe it is important to recognise the authority of the Holy Bible as it is written, but I do not believe it at all mandates the way evangelicals generally behave, more it should be a useful aid to conversation, discussion, and relationship, not a dictatorial acquiring of Scriptural knowledge.

John 14:1-4 (NIV) Jesus Comforts His Disciples “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You trust in God <the Father Eli>, trust also in me. In my Father’s house there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”

I choose this passage to write about for several reasons. First of all a Christian should not be anxious or troubled in heart, remaining calm at life events enduring them gracefully, and the reason is that they trust God. In heaven there is a room available for everyone, if they believe, that is full of treasure, God’s own recollections of what we thought, said, and did, while on earth and all the effects it had, both during our lifetime and through all human history, - that will truly take eternity to explore. Jesus talks of His Ascension to heaven after His resurrection, ‘going there’ - to sit at God’s right hand, until He returns to take all believers to their ‘home’ in heaven, where He lives. And ‘the way’ is through Him, being a disciple. Why talk of the many theories of the end of the world, when Jesus puts it so simply with such a resonant picture? There will be a great feast in heaven, Jesus invites us to it through his life, death, and resurrection, but when we accept He has to both go and prepare a place there so it is just right for us, and then He has to come back to take us there as we have no way of getting there ourselves. Why be anxious or troubled about the details? Why not preach of a great God, a great heaven, and great relationships for all eternity? Why not utilise Jesus descriptions of the Kingdom of God, the mustard seed, the yeast, the sower, the lost sheep, the prodigal son...? If Jesus spoke in puzzles and parables, why appeal to intellectual logic? Please see at the end ‘Two Ways to Live’ and I do not doubt that such ‘complete’ intellectual arguments are important and have their place, but surely we can do better than just to press arguments of sin, wrath, death, judgement, and an awful eternity, upon a willing enquirer? I do not think Jesus would have ever done so. If we followed His command to love one another, then would not suitable methods of evangelism arise naturally and be more effective? And surely reconciliation is the central theme of the Bible, so we should practise that and avoiding separation.

If I look back at the themes of the last twenty years then I must just mention the unforgivable sin, which I persistently researched. To commit such as a Christian is to blaspheme the Holy Spirit, to persistently refuse to love such that the Spirit that entered one’s heart upon salvation is so disrespected that God adheres to one’s committed desire to go one’s own way such that His Spirit is then liberated from the denying heart.

John 15:1-13 (NIV) The Vine and its branches Jesus is the vine, the backbone of the church, with branches of believers.“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every

branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.... Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me, and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.... This is my command: Love each other.

I would never claim to know anyone who has committed the unforgivable sin, we cannot know - the person and their friends would not notice, and let us hope and pray that they are very few. But I totally believe in the unforgivable sin, that may be the sin of our age, that believers can lose their salvation, - it just cannot be that Jesus would talk of a command to love if there were no punishment for not doing so, or of branches thrown away and on to the fire, if such was not a real prospect. What did He mean, in the parable of the sower, had happened to the seed sown amongst rocks and thistles? Mark 3:28-29 “Truly I tell you, people will be forgiven all their sins and all the blasphemies they utter. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven, but is guilty of an eternal sin... Could He be any more clear? There is simply no other statement necessary to know in Christian life than that Jesus repeatedly commanded His believers, ‘You must love one another’, that includes loving thy neighbour, thy enemy, and everyone, - point no-one towards hell, no-one ever deserves that from you - , and such was repeatedly written about by the New Testament writers. Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven...Who might they be then Agnostics? Atheists? Muslims? Or might they be Christians who have failed to love, and might there be more than a few of them? 1 John 3:14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Do not love, the Bible says, and you will not have eternal life, whatever you believe. Any Christian who does not love is on the path to the unforgivable sin, as well as fighting against their very nature, and should that occur then they will have an extremely long time of unbounded suffering to regret that with all possible capability of doing so, they did not love another. Perhaps when a non-believer dies, God is crying His eyes out that His child wants separation from Him, and He must respect that, but when a believer blasphemes the Holy Spirit from their heart, He liberates them to go entirely their own way (without His Spirit) with contempt, venom, and total disrespect, while maintaining His love for them. Perhaps there is still a way back, I hope so, but why on earth risk it, - just make sure you love the least desirable people, and you can.

John 5:39 (NIV) Do you want to read the book or meet the author? You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, Galatians 3:3 (NIV) Are you saved by the law or by the Spirit? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?I believe in the Bible, not literally, but as the word of God, and that we meet God in our lives by encounter and the witness of our heart where the Spirit is. Of course Scripture can teach us, inform us, and testify to our Lord and Saviour, but it cannot love us, rather it points to a God to love and believe in and to loving others. We were saved by grace, not by our own efforts, and so should live by grace, not by effort, and study, and performance. We should offer others the great love of God as He loved us, unconditionally, honestly, and as ourselves. The whole proof of faith is that we love each other, and by doing so we build His Kingdom.

Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV) Treasures in heaven (There will be no treasure that is apart from love)Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.If anybody thinks this last six or seven years I have been trying to build up influence, power, and choices, with some goal in mind then they are very wrong. Each of my ‘encounters’ and everything in between will have been storing up treasure in heaven, so I trust God, just as the lives of all believers always do. And it is not for me to willingly try to interpret them, follow them up, or take advantage of them, without my friends being back with me. Maybe then there would be matters explained to me that change my views radically on certain beliefs that I hold, and ways to influence the future of causes and interests that I hold dear. But I want nothing to do with that unless it ensures that my friends can love me freely as they wish, it is not that I choose to, rather it is my very nature. I hope I can believe that this is possible, it does not seem much to ask, but I trust also that those who know me, or have come across me, would not deny me this if they could help it. After I ‘met’ David anything might have been what I wanted, but after I went back to my college with seemingly eyes upon me while amongst the most intelligent people and my first Christian friend turned up, I was never ever going to have any other choice than to have my friends back. That she turned up playing for Arsenal Ladies was just icing on the cake, I knew the cake I wanted for Birthday, Christmas, or whenever. Should my friends be returned to me I will just want to eat, drink, and sleep, for a few weeks, and then we’ll see. I want no more.

Quote by Arsène Wenger as reported in ‘The Daily Mail’. My reply was dated 23rd June 2005.‘I accept all criticism. What I deny is that in Europe, it is different and you need a Plan B. Frankly, I don’t know what that means. It sounds good, but I would like someone in football to explain what is Plan B when Plan A doesn’t work.’ I did not in those days write in often to Arsenal, but reading the above ‘got my goat’ and so I compiled a list of 48 reasons why you need a plan B, also enclosing a list of 37 instances where I felt the club had fallen below decent standards in relating to their supporters in case such was relevant. I sent them in to the Arsenal hierarchy (ask for a copy), and I was glad at least to receive a separate reply from all four of them. I will not repeat the reasons now, but to me it must be fundamental when you only have one opponent to adapt to the skills and tactics of that opponent. We were so much ahead in the Premiership with other teams not adapting to us that plan B was not then needed, but in Europe teams have been prepared to put ten men behind the ball for a long time, and this requires adjustment and alternative tactics or one becomes predictable. I watched Mick McCarthy the Wolves manager being interviewed after losing to Manchester United, he said: ’Well, we could have set out to frustrate them or had a go at them, and we decided to have a go at them.’ Aaaarrrgh. Few people in this world get to the most important question in their career/life, and that he had done so, and then got 100% the wrong answer, is so sad. Manchester United would always choose for their opponent to have a go at them, and it really is theatre, the same again and again, rather than Sport, when both teams follow the tactics that suit by far the better team. Sir Alex is not stupid; - he always compliments the opposing manager and team when they do that, but not if they just set up two banks of four or five. They might still lose, but teams in the lower half of the league, will over a season between them always deprive Man U of at least 7 points by training properly and playing the ten-man defence, when it is so unlikely they could out-play them. At least Mick knew there was a Plan B, and when weaker teams take it up it is up to the better teams to adapt to their own plan B, not moan that the opposition are not assisting in flowing football, - they are allowed to do what is best for them. And saying you have so much possession when you have not won and so should have done so is not credible, - of course the best defence implies letting the opposition have more of the ball because more players are kept in more defensive positions. Arsène is very intelligent, balanced, mature, and has very wide football knowledge, - it just shows you that anyone however respectable can be misled from a fundamental truth in what they are doing because they are so deeply involved in it. We saw from England’s last two friendly games the need to have two very different game plans at the highest level. We cannot out play Spain so we defend and counter-attack, Sweden we can believe we are better than and so attack properly. It is similar in the Champion’s League.

Just now I am hoping that Arsenal can qualify for the Champion’s League next season, but I was not heartened by the media comments made recently; - we just do not seem to be able to keep our feet on the ground. I despaired at our goalkeeper looking ahead to next season and saying we can win the League. The last thing we should be doing is dreamily fantasising about next season when this one is not over, and to do so with virtually no credibility is frankly embarrassing. We have less than World Class Players all over the squad, at best we have five or six players that might get into the Man United or Man City squad, and United are not the team they were in the era of Cantona or Ronaldo. We have such a large squad, also with so many reserves and youths, we need to radically prune down the playing staff and see if we can then get two or three class players to go with our promising youngsters. Tony Pulis came straight out into the media against his own club Stoke recently when they had just announced a six million youth facility with more than two million a year running costs. I hope, he said, that this is not going to be detrimental to the playing squad, we need all the money we can have for transfers and wages, and it’s the first team that is what this club is all about. Exactly. Very well done to the team for twice reacting to poor runs of results by going on good runs, but it does not warrant delusions of grandeur. I still wonder if people know what they should be doing if the opposition focuses on defence, and whether we can break it down. Can Premiership Players answer: ‘What do you and your team do differently when you are 1-0 down compared to 1-0 up, or when you are 1-0 up with ten minutes to go compared to being 1-0 up after ten minutes, or even when playing away compared to at home, or playing against a top team or a relegation threatened team?’ I really think getting a team, training them up, and sending them out - the same for all matches - is a serious British disease. If you are Barcelona then maybe, but 99% of teams are not Barcelona, - and Arsenal never have been. The Wigan result has brought us down to earth, so hopefully we can now move on, it has been a great roller-coaster following Arsenal this season as always, and victories certainly gladden the heart. Hopefully when it is all over we can have a considered debate on the way forward that avoids the twin disasters of either thinking we are near Title winning quality, or that we are rubbish and need to sack the manager, the board, and most of the players. We have a start with some good young players, and a good experienced manager, now we must move on with amendments to, not abandonment of, the Arsenal way.

Arsenal Ladies: It is always enjoyable watching Arsenal Ladies, they play hard with spirit and enthusiasm, together as a team, with no little skill, and always fight to the end whatever the score-line. Their domestic success has been incredible and testament to their professionalism as the standard of the women’s game has markedly improved in recent years. Their winning of the European Champions League in 2007 was truly remarkable given the greater history and tradition of the game in Germany and Scandinavia, and with Captain Faye White injured and star striker Kelly Smith suspended from both legs of the final, they fought, bustled, and scrapped their way to the trophy – a highlight indeed – but it may be a long time before they win it again. In the ECL Semi-Final 2nd leg in Frankfurt this Saturday I fear a tennis-like score in their favour may be more likely than an Arsenal win, but I would love to be wrong. Perhaps Kim Little, the size of her surname, has been the best player, but in the long run maybe a less skilful tall strong Patrick Vieira type player with presence will be preferred at the highest level. Likewise, Gilly Flaherty has been playing very well especially for one so young, but average height will not normally be tall enough at centre-back. Other top teams are taller and stronger. Ciara Grant should be congratulated for keeping things ship-shape in a changing world off the pitch, and Rachel Yankey for getting back in the team for club and country after being dropped late in her career like David Beckham at Real Madrid. That says much more than any number of England caps or exquisite crosses, and should rank higher than the marvellous careers of Giggs and Scholes, who never experienced being out of favour when fit for any length of time. I just say Arsenal Ladies could improve a little their heading particularly in midfield battles, but most specifically they could improve their through balls. Time and again a ball is put through with far too much pace and runs into touch or to be picked up by the goalkeeper with no Arsenal player anyway near. They can pass to feet with good pace and master much harder aspects of the game well, but with improving defences playing higher up the pitch, there will be increasing benefits from the measured through ball for a player to run on to that for the most part seems beyond them at the moment. Otherwise, I believe in experience more than youth, a young prospect can easily be a false temptation over a proven older player, but sooner or later there will have to be a mini clear-out of the old guard marquee names, and then we will see if the domestic success can be continued for the upcoming brigade. Let’s hope so.

Middlesex CCC: Cricket was my first love and I was captivated by the Lancashire team of the early seventies, and in particular Clive Lloyd the West Indies Captain, and so also the West Indies team that played so much more exciting cricket than England with much more attack minded batsmen and Boyce and Julien the opening bowlers batting at 8 or 9 (not 10 or 11) and giving it a disciplined whack scoring useful runs when many other teams seemed to pay little attention to improving the batting of the tail. I told everyone at school I supported the West Indies to some mirth and so you can imagine what it was like as a nine-year old seeing Clive score a century in the first World Cup Final in 1975 as West Indies beat Australia. By the England v West Indies final of 1983 I was supporting England, not least because Ian Botham’s aggressive play demanded support. In recent years I have enjoyed supporting Middlesex and being at Lords, both being amongst the group that do not go into the pavilion and those that do. It was a highlight when they won the Twenty20 with seemingly a not very suitable side, and now they are back in the top division of the County Championship after five years in division two, and have just beaten Surrey by just 3 runs on Sunday, - a real tonic, I went to the first and third day of the game, so that is good, and I look forward to the season. We do not look so strong on paper, but hopefully the spirit is there. England look like they will soon peak in the rankings and then we may not do so again for a good while, but back-to-back Ashes victories will live long in the memory especially the trouncing in Australia. Let’s hope that the future of the 4-day and 5-day game is not risked on the altar of pursuing Twenty20.

Bridge and Board Games: I am so glad to be a Bridge Player of some ability (I came third in the Middlesex Championship Pairs Final, and so have qualified for the National Final), it is a game of combined mental abilities that so benefit the brain especially in old age. Whatever is going on, one can concentrate on the cards, and there is something to play for whatever the ability of one’s partner and opponents. Playing Bridge abroad is what I miss most from lack of money. In reality many people do not wish to exercise their brain outside of work, but that is a pity, and I would have thought even athletes could benefit from a modest brain workout occasionally, and so such as playing Board Games could help. There are so many different games available now, and many clubs around the country where one can try them out, and they suit any ability range, but it is clear that those who come back again and again are significantly more intelligent and serious about playing them.

Happy News: For a couple of periods when I was working in the city I was able to go to a nearby lunchtime service at the only Free Church of Scotland church located in England. They are a serious, dour, principled lot, rather gloomy except for the Lord and He was not that cheerful Himself. They do not celebrate Christmas because Jesus is alive in heaven and so you should not celebrate him being born. But where else would you get a sermon series on the hard sayings of Jesus that are so difficult to understand. In the end I prefer to be with those secure in their faith I do not quite agree with than those I identify with theologically but are insecure. When the minister read my critique of All Souls he said ‘I did not agree with all of it’, and I did not respond thinking that was quite a compliment from him, and when I said ‘ If an evangelical minister has two or three hours free, how likely is it he will read, write, or prepare a talk, or rather he will telephone somebody and ask how they are’, he agreed that the former was so much more likely and that challenged him, so I was glad. But mostly he was serious and not cheerful in character except for his regular mentions of his beloved Ross County an almost solitary expression of his human side, except that he had a daughter at All Souls. In her mid-thirties an attractive Christian millionaire Scotsman ‘asked her out’, but she declined. He then ‘went out’ with someone else, but was quite depressed when it did not work out. Then he decided to ask out the vicar’s daughter once more, and this time she said yes. I used to meet him for lunch in the city when I was out of work, and he was like ‘she’s shorter than I would like, she’s older than I would like........ ’ But I would not comment, furthermore he was a Spurs season-ticket holder. Anyway, everything went fine and continued to go fine and before long they were married, living in a mansion in Essex, and had two young sons. I would visit and she would go, ‘He is so right for me’. When I sent out my Male-Female Interaction document, as a housewife she was able to straight away read it at leisure and email me back to say ‘Well done, I actually had seven previous boyfriend’s who either were in or went into full-time Christian work, and could have done with knowing much of what you write’! So anyway the day before I ‘met’ David I was very bad and I can hardly remember anything which is unusual, just being handed a piece of paper on the train in England, a couple of interaction’s near Ruth’s place, asking a taxi to take me to a hotel, getting to a room dumping my bag and knowing I could not stay still so going out walking. Somehow I got back to pick up my bag and then I do not know how I got back to Paisley. But I do recall saying in the taxi I do not know Scottish Football, but I have heard of the Old Firm and Ross County. Now lo and behold Ross County have won the Scottish First Division with five games to spare, walloping recent Premier League Sides, and so will play in the Scottish Premier League next season. Forgive me, but I am just happy about that. I do not know where they play, any of their players, or the manager, and I have not seen them play, but I wish them all the best in the SPL except against St. Mirren. This is almost my favourite Christian story as it has a bit of everything I am and I believe in. She is a very, very, lucky woman, and she knows it. How could she turn him down? Well truly, truly, I say unto you, the gap between those in full-time Christian work and their relations, and everybody else in the church, is far, far, wider than the gap between football players and their supporters. Somehow she must have been suspicious of a secular worker, and had to adhere to the unassailable ‘Christian woman dating handbook’ where with doubts you cannot even afford to explore a little, you must not let him get any ideas. To me that is to play God, the psychiatrist, and the devil, all at once, - completely unforgivable, not loving one another as He did one iota. And to men I just say however hurt you may be never give up, she may never be able to thank you enough for doing so. Now beyond her undeserved idyllic life even fond papa has a lifetime’s dream fulfilled.

Church: What is the way forward for the Anglican Communion? I really do not follow church politics, but I have a few arguments on the apparently main matters. Is it fair for me to say I must be allowed to play for Manchester United in the Premier League otherwise it is discrimination? No because I am too old and not good enough, but if and when I get a ticket to a game at Old Trafford then I should be welcomed like anybody else. So it is in the church with homosexual priests and women bishops. Simply if you are a practising homosexual you do not qualify for church leadership, just like perhaps someone suffering mental illness does not. But you should be entirely welcome, and if you are not then that is a far more serious matter that I am totally on your side about. Much goes on involving many people when a person is ordained, and promises are made of sexual faithfulness, which if they are not observed call into question the whole status of being a priest. But now the reality of women priests being common in the church I just do not think it is right that they can be told they are not allowed to ‘play at the highest level’ and so should become Bishops. Maybe that is not entirely Biblical, but who knows how far early church hierarchy is a model for the modern day?

Education: I must just mention the Boat Race, - what did the Oxford President say afterwards, ‘ We went through seven months of hell, and the culmination of our careers was taken away from us ’? Oh, I am so very sorry! If you thought that you were the best, restart or not, - was it then sensible to steer so much into Cambridge’s line? Was not your broken oar then somewhat a justice? Thankfully, you are all alive and well; - plenty of time then to repent, and wish you had gone to Cambridge! (The intruder was lucky the boats were unusually so close, - if as normal one was a good way in front, then he might have been more vilified.) I am not embarrassed by my education, and indeed I worry a lot about the falling standards in mainstream education. Many politicians clearly believe that to have loving parents, be intelligent, and work hard, is a disgraceful advantage to have in life, and a broken and uneducated society is the most easy to manipulate. I would just say that I do not see that what happens on the playing fields of Eton prevents good mainstream education. In my Chemistry A-Level there were 18 in my top set, 14 in set 2, 11 in set 3, and just 7 in set 4, and you just cannot say it did not benefit us all. And the environment, though not always best, helped make me a man. Boarding school I would say is not easy for some, but if you can take advantage of the opportunities, and cope with the other pupils, then being in control of your life while young is a very valuable education. Parents should keep in touch, but pupils return home every three weeks so there is good balance and the school has to face teenage problems rather than parents, and so it somewhat protects family relationships. Oxbridge I would also recommend, there cannot be much harm in applying and exploring, and the student environment is not generally difficult to live with beyond being very free and amongst other highly intelligent people, but I would have some questions to ask. But somehow in spite of my illness I never felt any hostility to my places of education.

Mental Health: At Cambridge one time a Don told me, ‘Chemistry is a ‘dead’ subject, we know all the chemicals in the world and how they react to each other, Mathematics is an ‘infinite’ subject because there are always more questions that can be asked, but a good number of people thought History was a ‘dead’ subject? ’ Well, I gave up History before O-Level so I just turned to the Mathematician also present and asked ‘Formational causation, or causational formation: two people far apart in the world have the same new idea – say a Mathematical Theorem - at the same time, does that happen?’ ‘I don’t think so’ he replied with some explanation, so I followed up, ‘But the discovery of new Mathematical Theorems over history, does not the timing of them seem appropriate or meaningful?’ ‘Yes’, they said, ‘Absolutely’. Well, I do not know if I gave them an answer, but it seems shocking that there was belief that all major theories of History were known and would not change, and would those who knew this not be able to take unfair advantage? Faith should give us all in prayer and action the power to change history, and if I have then I am glad, but it has not been my motivation. Of course I hope that I have been a force for change in football, church, male-female interaction, and mental health, and will continue to be so, but this has only happened alongside my being myself, enduring illness and pressure, being sensible and intelligent, and knowing that what happened to me and my friends was above and beyond total abomination, for any humanity in any universe, and with any God, - it was not by design, I have no plan for change. There have been moments of sometimes deep satisfaction in all areas, but in the end it is what I may have done for the reputation of Mental Illness that makes me most proud. When I was first mentally ill aged 20, the medication available was quite a blanket in my brain, doing good but meaning I was quite withdrawn, now it is much better and I am quite alert. The generation before I would either have been horrifically strapped to a bed, or medication would have made my body shake continually marking me out as mentally ill. The generation before that, had I been in the WW1 trenches, then likely I would have been shot at dawn by my comrades. In the nineteenth century, I would have likely been disowned by my family and community, and before that, always assuming I survived the illness, I would likely have been in Bedlam, where many people would pay one penny to observe me, but thankfully today people have seen me in all states and so respect me. A story told me in the pub was of a man who was a regular drinker and life and soul of the party, until he had a terrible accident and was confined to a wheelchair. At least, he thought, I can enjoy being down the pub with my mates, but they just could not treat him as before, being childish and patronising. People who suffer from mental illness can ruin their lives at any moment when they are ill and at other times, but the least they deserve is that when they are well they are properly respected, listened to, and loved by Christians. If I can hold onto anything, aside from the faith of me and my friends, it is that those who know me or have come across me will never treat mental illness in quite the same way again. There is so much to be concerned about in mental health matters, but I am so glad to contribute.

Politics: Since I last wrote that I thought George Osborne was doing well he has had an absolute nightmare, I have never known a government have such a series of disasters. They have even committed the cardinal sin of antagonising the core Daily Mail reader and made themselves out as not one of them, - they really do seem cut off from their core voters and their own backbenchers. I blame by-elections; we need to outlaw them having a stated list of replacements available as necessary, so that we can have at Westminster a core of old wise people not caught up in their own aspirations. Because parties cannot afford for people to die due to the resulting by-election retired people, who make up most of the voters, are not at all properly represented in the House of Commons. They say Mrs. Thatcher was lucky in her opponents, but these blunders would not have occurred on her watch, and the then opposition would have savaged reputations if confronted by them. The Queen Mother said little in public, except that she was a Christian, and we worked best with a strong Conservative Government, and a strong Labour Opposition. She was not admitting who she would vote for, but just that Labour were not so good in government, and Conservatives were not so good in Opposition. Well, no more, they are so chasing the middle ground they have no principles left. And David Cameron ridicules himself by asking for a Christian fight-back, while supporting the banning of wearing of crosses and homosexual marriage. But at least the balance of tax, spend, and debt, is being done right. I remain most worried about Europe, it will not be good enough to just see off the Euro and the Euro-state, we need I am afraid to say, a thorough smashing of such realities that scars the European psyche so much that it is never attempted again to take so many powers away from the voter and give them to unelected bureaucrats not even from their country. Let us hope civil disobedience is kept within the law. I admire Boris, but the reasonably sanitised UKIP will probably get my first vote, it should not affect the result to vote for Boris as second choice, - ironic as this was included to safeguard Labour as Lib Dems were trusted to put them second.

Communion: Aside from what I have said before, the Church of England is unique in the way it works, a CofE vicar has to cope with the possibility of being contacted at any time by a parishioner they do not know, for a Christening, marriage, or funeral, as everyone living in the parish has that right whatever they believe. Whereas a vicar from the United Reformed Church, Methodist, or Catholic, denomination for example just has to deal with those who come through the door, - it is very different. But that is why it is so important for a CofE church to maintain communion, so that it can justifiably hold such services for all of its community. When David O’Leary returned to Arsenal as Leeds manager he said he saw something in the tunnel that he could never believe, - these were people he had known all his life (David has our record of 722 appearances). Clearly David was being polite, but what he saw went far beyond new football rivalry. Could David Beckham, Sir Alex, or Arsène, go back to their clubs in ten years time and be shocked to the core, - of course they could, and perhaps Frank Lampard has had such a moment. But this is what we should expect quite often in Christian life as our love shines a light on the sin of others, incredible shocks that surprise and disappoint, but we need to remain in love with family, church, football club, etc. this is where we need to stand strong in communion.

David Beckham Jokes: Just as I thought them, not that they work particularly well. How would he answer?In the church hall after a service seven or eight years ago I said ‘David Beckham could play for England when he is 50, - if there is a free-kick late in the game then just substitute him on, and then afterwards substitute him off, or leave him up-field on the right not really doing any tackling in case he can take another free-kick or get a cross in!’ ‘That’s manic’ said a friend David who was listening. I don’t know about that I thought, but David said again ‘that’s manic’ and went away. Perhaps now in hindsight he was in a sense right.When we won the right to host the Olympics David Beckham had asked for votes: ‘ It would be so amazing to have the games on my manor’, and just before the vote the French President derided English cooking. So then at church I said ‘Well, perhaps you could say the Olympics were delivered to us by Manor and Quail, like God’s people were delivered in the wilderness food from the sky, manna and quail? ’ It didn’t really work we agreed. ( ‘Like manna from heaven’ is to receive long awaited good fortune after suffering.) But then in 2006 on the day of the Real Madrid v Arsenal match, Dick Cheney the U.S. Vice-president injured someone while out quail shooting! Is the best part of the journey to play a game at Old Trafford passing through Manchester?Were you inspired by Arsenal winning the League at Old Trafford, but Herts would be an odd child’s name?After a long hard day with your advisers, do you ever cuddle up to Posh, and wish you were playing for Arsenal under Arsène Wenger?

What other memories? What’s different about me? What is my advice? What are my hopes?

At school, aged 15, in the first cricket match of term played just by the Worcester County ground I scored 150 not out off just 31 overs, having played out the first over as a maiden. I was chanceless until my eighties and then dropped a lot after that, but it was anyway remarkable. Not only that, but I got back to the house and found we were one short for the house badminton competition. I had hardly played that game at all and it was not natural for me, but it was a doubles competition, a quarter-final, semi-final, and final, only one set, so I volunteered to play with a chap I did not normally get on with too well, and we won! And that is a motto for me, celebrate if you want to, but while you are on a roll why not see if there is something else good you can do? Likewise, I have never really celebrated trophies Arsenal have won, not being a drinker, and for those who eat, drink, and sleep, the game, celebrate wildly why not, but I believe it always helps to have moderators in the community who will be less exuberant in winning, but keep more upbeat and handle it better when losing.

In hindsight perhaps the highlight of my pre-Christian life was when my first Christian friend took me to Bradgate Park in central Leicester, we passed by where she used to play as a child and up to the highest point where I took a photograph of her. Then turning away she said ‘You should meet my father’, and after perhaps some breeze she proceeded to sit down with me on a bench and talk on about her family, her mother and step-father she lived with, and her father and his wife, both handicapped. That was as intimate and talkative as she got. Well now I have met her eternal Father (Eli) I am sure she would not take any credit for that, but it would be very nice to be able to thank her for her part, and perhaps meet her father also if he is still alive.

I have never kept a diary somehow I just know what I am doing when, and very rarely am I not where I said I would be, and mostly this is beneficial. In hockey I reached the Midlands Under-14 team, but when we went on tour to Europe I knew that I did not want to do the training and practising, I just wanted to play, further I have always wanted to watch sport rather than play it. At school we had a prefect’s path and one day to circumvent this I was climbing through the house library window to the hockey pitches when my housemaster shouted ‘Nigel’ and I did not react, ‘Nigel’ he shouted again and I still did not react, ‘Bird!’ he shouted and I then reacted by fully apologising. But it was not the dressing down that I was thinking about, but that due to boarding school life I did not react at all to my name so rarely did I hear it. Well, such was life then, but it always resonates with me now when I hear my name, and I am cheered that I hear a bit more of it now.

My one piece of advice to intelligent people is to go to University, but to have a year off first, preferably experiencing work and doing some travelling. City Firms can always tell when someone about to graduate has had a year off, far more markedly than their having gone to Public School or Oxbridge although of course such people are much more likely to have had a year off. It would be a great pity if financial constraints on student funding reduced the number of students having a year off, - in my day at Cambridge the vice-chancellor stated that having a year off was desirable for every course except perhaps medicine and vetinary science. I do not know if it is possible in football, but if a player was able to sign a 5-year contract with a club, which included not playing in the third year, perhaps after a World Cup, then provided he did not just live the life of Riley, and took advantage of the ‘Gap Year Industries’, - travel, charity work, etc., then I would thoroughly applaud it.

My one piece of advice to non-believers is just: do not mock Christian belief. If you cannot believe in the virgin birth, God becoming a man, rising from the dead, one day returning in glory, sex only within marriage, loving, respecting, and forgiving everyone including your enemies, then fair enough, it is right that you do not lie to yourself or anybody else about it, but at least do not mock these ideas. Christianity has a long, deep, and enriching history in this world, - that it is so unpopular now does not demean it, so at least respect it.

I do not imagine at all that if my desire for love in the church suddenly becomes real then there will not be many other problems, but to me it is fundamental, and the church needs to practice communion. It should be of great concern that there is more Christian love on a psychiatric ward, than in a church.

A confession: Normally even when I am well I hardly ever swear in my thoughts, discipline works on the brain as well as the body, and the behaviour. But once I said on the phone to Ruth ‘Sometimes people go a bit funny when they become a Christian, - perhaps with all the trophies we are winning it would be better if Arsène Wenger went to hell.’ As soon as I said it I knew I should not have and I welcomed the ‘hairdryer’ from Ruth. Hell may not worry non-believers, but it is not to be joked about, and I hope I do not do that again. But without joking I just do not believe that I can blame myself or God for the lack of trophies this last six years.

Brentford still have a small chance of getting into the play-offs, let’s hope so, while St. Mirren are safe from relegation. Following lower league clubs does not detract from supporting Arsenal, it adds to it, and the whiff of change in Scottish football including an Edinburgh derby in the Cup Final for the first time since 1896 is interesting to follow. One can argue that watching a 37-year old footballer is not quite what the Olympics should be about, but if anyone deserves it David Beckham does, and I just wish him and his family all the best for the future. Let’s hope that the Olympics are a success in every way, with many medals for Team GB. We have interesting Champions League Semi-Final Second Legs on our hands next week. It is awkward to support Chelsea since if they won and came fifth in the League, fourth would not now qualify, but I hope they win it, - is there any chance of a deal for this Saturday’s Arsenal v Chelsea match whereby they give us the three points, but we promise to put the full weight of all our support behind them in the Champions League?

Keep loving, keep going, keep believing,

Good-bye,

Nigel Please see the ‘Two ways to live’ as below.

Follow the progress of the human figure, the small crown, the large crown, and the J (for Jesus) as the theory of penal substitution is explained alongside six pictures. For fuller explanations do Ctrl+Click on the link: http://www.matthiasmedia.com.au/2wtl/ and do successive clicks.

You have to admit it makes very good sense.

I always hope you believe Jesus is your Lord and Saviour, - He lived, died, and rose again, so that you may be forgiven and have eternal life, and so accepting this you will love all others with the love of God, the Holy Spirit that is in your heart, remaining in Him until He returns. And may the church always practice communion and as with the lost sheep put all reasonable efforts into reconciling believers, - the vine where a branch has been thrown away leaves an awkward stub, unlike when it is pruned, and should someone commit the unforgivable sin, the church left behind is also badly damaged. Please God, will the church over the years know the debt it has to You, and follow Jesus only command to love one another. And may we deal with the brokenness in our society, which is perhaps at the root of mental illness, freely able to believe that strong families provide the best foundation for life and society, and providing love, respect, care, and ever wider medical skill in treating all those who are unwell, especially those who are mentally ill. Amen. NBB.