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Matthew McDonald

Dr. Murdock

Intermediate Composition

6/26/2017

The Downside of Devastation

When MADD was founded in 1980, an estimated 25,000 people were killed in drunk

driving crashes each year. Since then, we've been able to cut that deadly toll by more than half,

but there is still more work to be done (“History of Drunk Driving”).

I was sitting at the dinner table listening to my little sister beg our father for more dessert.

She seemed so immature to me. I was, after all, ten years older. Our house was a busy one. My

parents had four children. There were two girls and two boys. Etta was my youngest sister who

seemed to have our father wrapped around her little finger. My others siblings were also all over

ten years older than Etta. In some ways, she grew up like an only child. By the time she was a

teenager, my other siblings and I had gone off to work, college, and marriage.

I remember it was a happy home. Our father, Albert, was a calm and steady man.

During the day, he worked as a lineman for the county. He had done this since he was fifteen.

His father had also worked in utilities. My mother and father had only gone to school through

the eighth grade in the small town of Kentucky. They were children of the Great Depression.

They were married by the age of 18 and started a family. Life in rural Kentucky was difficult

during that time. I remember having to rely on squirrel hunting and fishing to keep food on our

table. My father always found a way.

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Coal mining and utility work were the only options for Albert. He had lost his own father

in the coal mining industry as a young boy. He knew all too well that this was dangerous work. I

remember him getting up early and putting on his freshly ironed uniform and heading off to work

in his Volkswagen Bug. I also remember his returning in the early evening and getting out his

Bible and studying. You see, my father, was also a pastor. He worked during the day for the

county. Then, in the evening he would study for his Wednesday night Bible study and his

Sunday sermon. He was well respected in the church and community.

He pastored a small Christian church in a small neighboring town that was a fifteen mile

drive through the hills outside of Daniel Boone National Forest. I remember that drive along the

forest and the backdrop of the Great Smoky Mountains. We lived nestled in this scenery. I

remember vividly playing in the woods looking for rattlesnakes with my younger brother David.

I also remember us all having to watch out for Etta outside because she had a habit of getting lost

in the woods when she was playing. We walked to school on a dirt row to a small school in

town. It was a small town where you knew everyone and you could trust your neighbors. We

grew up in this quiet and safe home that was led under the loving leadership of my father.

I could not have asked for a better childhood. Yes, we were poor but we had everything

we needed. I was blessed to graduate from that small high school as the valedictorian in the late

1950’s. I was offered a scholarship and became the first person to go to college in my family.

My older sister, Geneva, had been the first to graduate from high school. I seized this

opportunity with the blessing of my father. He was so proud that his son was going to college.

He would do anything he could to help me. I went to Cumberland College where I majored in

chemistry with a minor in mathematics. When I would visit home on some weekends, he would

slip twenty dollars in my hand. That is all he had. My parents could not afford to send me to

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college. I had to find my own way. When I wasn’t studying or in class, I was cutting hair for

extra money.

Along the way, I married my high school sweetheart while I was in college. She was

finishing nursing school just an hour away. Our plan was to graduate at the same time and start

our lives and first jobs together. Our careers took us away from our Kentucky homes and we

moved to Michigan then Ohio within a few years. My first job was working for Cadillac as a

chemist in Detroit. I later took a job in Cincinnati after my first son turned one year old. My

wife, Janice, was pregnant with our second child.

My family had been to visit us in Michigan and Ohio and my father had never been so

proud of me. My little sister was always tagging along on these visits. I remember thinking that

she stilled seemed like such a little kid to me. Would she ever grow up? I also remember

thinking how much she was spoiled by my father. He loved her and would do anything for her. I

had been home to see my father and mother during the holidays that year. I remember

celebrating the New Year of 1969 sitting in my parent’s one bedroom apartment that they had

moved to in town above the local doctor’s office. My parents found it easier to live in town and

it was more convenient. My mother did not have a driver’s license. It was more convenient for

her. I remember hugging my father and he grabbed a kiss from my son in my arms as we headed

to the car. The plan was to be back in the spring in a few months. I remember it always being a

little hard to leave my hometown and my parents. However, we had done this many times. We

would be back and we would see them again.

Difficulty walking, blurred vision, slurred speech, slowed reaction times, impaired

memory. Clearly, alcohol affects the brain. Some of these impairments are detectable after only

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one or two drinks and quickly resolve when drinking stops (“Alcohol’s Damaging Effects on the

Brain”).

I remember the late evening that I got the telephone call. I thought to myself, “No one

calls this late unless it bad news.” On the other end of the telephone was my younger brother,

David, telling me that my father and sister had been in a car accident on their way home from

church. He began crying and said, “They were hit by a drunk driver on the winding part of the

road. He went left of center. It was head on, Earl. Dad didn’t make it. He is dead, Earl! Our

father is dead. Etta is in the hospital and you have to come now.” That is all I remember of that

conversation.

Approximately 75% of fatal crashes occurring between midnight and 3a.m. involve

alcohol. Additionally, there are spikes in DUIs at 7:00p.m. and 3:00p.m., which are the end of

happy hour and lunch time, respectively. (“47 Tragic Facts and Drunk Driving”).

We packed up our family and we traveled from Cincinnati to Pineville, Kentucky and

arrived at the hospital after midnight that night. We were able to see my father first who had

already passed away. I remember my wife Janice put her hand of his chest and started to cry as

she said, “His chest is crushed. He had no chance to survive.” I stood there in shock. I remember

feeling extreme sadness followed by anger. I was sad to see my father, who I loved so much, life

cut short. He was only 56 years old and my baby sister was only thirteen. She was battling for

her life in the same small town hospital where my father was pronounced dead.

My mother and sister were what seemed to me as hysterical. I was not hysterical. No, I

was angry. I was angry at the twenty four year old drunk driver who had killed my father and

severely injured by baby sister when they were on their way home from church. My anger

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became rage when I talked to the police officers who were at the scene. They seemed to have no

answers for me. They only could assure me that he was being held at the county jail until further

notice. They had told me that my father’s Volkswagen had been totaled and towed to the local

junk yard. I remember my wife being stern with me in my anger. She said, “Earl your sister and

your mother need you! Let go of this anger and help take care of them.” That began what

seemed like endless trips between Cincinnati and Pineville after the funeral. My sister was not

even able to go to the funeral because she was still not stable enough.

It was a rainy day that we buried my dad. His grave was at the very edge of the

cemetery. It was so steep at that part of the mountain that it was hard to stand. The rest of that

became a blur of despair still with traces of bitter anger. My baby sister was eventually released

from the hospital and she made a full recovery. At least, physically she made a full recover. In

every other way, she was still broken. She and my mother were the only two left at home. Even

though I sent my mother money, she still had to find a job and work full time with my father

gone. She had never worked before. All she knew how to do was cook and clean. A friend of

hers helped her find a cooking job at a local dinner. She spent her days and nights there cooking

over a hot stove.

I still found myself battling anger. I remember an overwhelming need to talk to the man

that killed my father. I grew up in a small town and knew that it would not be hard to track this

information down even though I no longer lived there. I visited the police department and

insisted on seeing the police report from that night. When I saw the last name of the drunk

driver, it rang a bell but I couldn’t immediately make a connection.

Anger is often a large part of a survivor’s response to trauma. It is a core piece of the

survival response in human beings. Anger helps us cope with life stresses by giving us energy to

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keep going in the face of trouble or blocks. Yet anger can create major problems (“Anger and

Trauma”).

The driver’s first name was Jameson. I spoke with my brother who still lived there to

help me make a connection with Jameson’s family. My brother reminded me that this family

was from a neighboring small town. My brother said, “Remember, Earl, their daddy is a

moonshiner.” Anywhere else in the world, this might come as a shock. But, my family grew up

with this reality. Pineville was in a dry county at that time and it was illegal to manufacture or

sell it in any form. It became a great underground business for those who did not mind the risk

and compromising their morals. I went to see my father’s car some time later. Even though

some time had passed, it was difficult to see the baby blue Volkswagen in that condition. The

whole front of the car was smashed. The windshield was almost completely missing. As I

looked in the car, I could see it was still covered with blood and broken glass. I remember

thinking that it was amazing that my sister survived the crash. I wish she had seen the miracle of

her life.

“Drinking and driving don’t mix. Yet, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety

Administration,  every two minutes, a person is injured in a drunk driving crash. Drinking

affects judgment, depth perception and physical reaction time. The effects of a split second

decision cannot be reversed. Know these risks posed when choosing to get behind the wheel”

(Drunk Driving: It Affects Everyone).

I remembered Jameson’s brother that I played basketball against when I was in high

school. We were on rival teams but I remember what other people said about him. They said

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that his daddy beat the kids and his wife. I also remember people saying that he was a drunk. I

began to think about what a different life I had lived compared to Jameson. I grew up in a happy

home with a loving father. He had grown up in a house of abuse with a drunken father. Then, I

decided not to pursue Jameson anymore. He would have to live with what he did to my father. I

tried to keep up with him through court records and rumor. He was sentenced for killing my

father because he was drunk. I know that he served several years. Then, a few years later he

was released. I struggled that my father was gone forever and the price for his life was a short

sentence in prison. I also felt the damage done to my sister was so great because it had, in many

ways, ruined her life. I remember asking myself, “What is a life worth?” This is a question that

haunts me today.

“Alcoholism is the most severe form of alcohol abuse and involves the inability to

manage drinking habits. It is also commonly referred to as alcohol use disorder. Alcohol use

disorder is organized into three categories: mild, moderate and severe” (What is Alcoholism).

Etta, did not go back to school that year. She became distant and a behavior problem for

my mother. She would not listen to any of us. I remember the day she told me, “I am getting

married.” I replied, “You are crazy! You are only fourteen.” But that is exactly what she did.

She was married and pregnant within that year. I remember feeling like she was running from

something. One night when she was still in the hospital, she told me that she felt guilty for the

death of my father. She felt guilty because he had gone that night to church to pick her up from a

youth event. If she had not pestered him to go out that night, he would still be alive. I told her

that it was not her fault. I remember telling her, “The drunk driver is the one who has to live

with killing our father, not you!” I do not think she accepted this placement of blame fully.

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Etta’s husband was high school dropout and was only 17 years old himself. He worked in the

coalmines to support her and their new baby.

“The effects of drunk driving cause a ripple  in so many lives. Take steps to prevent long-

term impacts in anyone’s life: designate a driver, have taxi numbers and trusted friends’

numbers on hand, and most importantly, hand over your keys. Protect yourself and the lives of

your friends and family. Drink responsibly. Stay sober. Don’t drink and drive. It’s not just your

life you will affect” (Drunk Driving: It Affects Everyone).

The next few years only grew worse for Etta. Her marriage was also short lived. Her

husband died in a coal mining accident. This was a point of no return for her. Their marriage

had started to fall apart before his death. They were still kids after all. But she still loved him

and he was the father of her child. After a short time, my mother was granted custody of her

granddaughter, Michelle. Etta was no longer able and willing to take care of her.

“According to the 2013 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, an estimated 9.9

million people age 12 or older (or 3.8 percent of adolescents and adults) reported driving under

the influence of illicit drugs during the year prior to being surveyed” (Driving While Impaired).

Etta decided to join the party scene and was almost never around. Etta had moved back

home but was seldom there. My grandmother had taken full responsibility of Michelle. She

took her to school, fed her, and helped her with her homework as best she could. She still had to

work full time to make ends meet and this was a difficult time for her to raise another child. Etta

did not act like a mother to her daughter. She had slipped off and no longer had a mothering

instinct towards her. She also began working at a hospital and started stealing and using drugs

from work. She was eventually caught and charged for this crime. She was in and out of drug

rehabilitation for many years. Her life just continued to be on a downward spiral.

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Most teens with depression will suffer from more than one episode. 20 to 40 percent will

have more than one episode within two years, and 70 percent will have more than one episode

before adulthood. Episodes of teen depression generally last about 8 months (Teen Depression

Statistics).

One day, in Cincinnati she turned up on my doorstep. She was lost and alone. I let her

stay with us for a few weeks to try to help her. My siblings and mother began to think I was

hiding Etta from them. I remember them becoming very upset with me. I was just doing all I

could for my baby sister who was at the end of her rope. But they displaced their anger on me.

To this day, and I am an old man now, I do not have a close relationship with my siblings. I

made amends with my mother shortly before she died. I still have a separation with my brother

and sisters. I think that the whole tragedy with my father left us with a lot of unresolved anger.

We all needed to blame someone. In that process, we grew apart and not together. “Anger has a

way of destroying people.”

While a child of an alcoholic parent will not automatically develop a drinking problem,

children born to alcoholic parents are about 50% more likely to develop alcoholism-related

issues during their lives than children born to non-alcoholic parents due to alcoholism heredity

(“Alcoholism and Heredity”).

My brother David and I had grew up in the same home and yet were very different. “Earl

was dad’s favorite,” said David. When we were little, he always looked up to me. When we

were kids, our time together was filled with adventures in the hills of Kentucky. He

remembered my father and I having long discussions over religion and politics at the dinner

table. David thought I was smart in a way he never could be. He was always jealous of me for

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that. In many ways, he became a momma’s boy to make up for not being dad’s favorite. He

loved my mother and I know she loved us all the same.

When I was a teenager I was always working, studying, or at school. David resented that

I was not around much and he began to hate me for that. He wanted his big brother back. He

admired that I was determined to graduate from high school and go on to college. Although, we

both knew I had no money to do that. Dad was so proud and called me his “college boy”.

When I was gone, David felt like part of Dad was missing. Dad was missing the person he liked

to have long conversations at the dinner table and relied on as another man in the house. David

tried but never could fill my shoes.

According to the study from Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health,

Columbia’s School of Social Work, and Harvard Medical School, the unexpected death of a

loved one roughly doubled the risk for new-onset mania in some people (“Sudden Death of

Loved One Can Trigger Psychiatric Disorders”).

David grew more jealous of me. He made different choices in his life. He was not at the

top of his high school class like me. He followed my dad’s trade and became a lineman for the

county right out of high school. He was quickly married and started a family. It is hard for him

to make an honest living working for the county. He knew that he could not ask mom and dad

for help. So, he was constantly in a struggle to survive.

When I graduated from college and got my first job, he had mixed feelings. He was

proud of me but sad for himself and the life he had chosen. Instead of accepting his choice of

profession and life, he blamed me and told my other siblings that my parents paid for all my

college and had no money left for them. That was not true. In fact, other than an occasional

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twenty dollars from my father, I paid my whole way. Of course, I went on to make a lot of

money and have a very comfortable life. He withdrew further from me because of his jealousy.

Alcohol can produce detectable impairments in memory after only a few drinks, and, as

the amount of alcohol increases, so does the degree of impairment (“Alcohol’s Damaging

Effects on the Brain”).

When the phone call came, David had just returned home late from are long day at work.

He rushed to the hospital to try to make sense of it all. “Your father is dead,” my mother cried.

She was inconsolable. He remembered just being able to see a glimpse of my sister. She was

not stable and initially they would not let any family in the room. My other sister arrived and did

not leave my mother’s side. My mother said to David, “You need to call Earl. I tried earlier but

no one answered.” My brother remembered thinking “of course, Earl is too busy to know what

is going on at home with his family”. He called me and said to get to Pineville right away. He

was angry with me and I knew it. When I arrived, my mother clung to me immediately. David

thought that I would place myself as man of the family now. I could sense that he was angry

with me even after the funeral.

“Distress from drunk driving remains with victims, families and the accused for months

or years following an incident that may have lasted only minutes or seconds. Sudden physical

impairment or unexpected death is traumatic. Few people can cope with these losses even with a

strong support system and professional resources” (Drunk Driving: It Affects Everyone).

I went back to my life in Cincinnati and he was left to deal with my mother and sister.

He was angry at me for leaving him again. All I ever asked David about was details of the

wreck. He could see that I was obsessed with that terrible night and the man behind the wheel.

He thought that was just a waste of time. Perhaps he was right, but I could not let go of my

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anger. As my mother aged, she continued to live as a widow raising a granddaughter. It would

have much easier to do this with my grandfather alive. However, if had not been for the wreck

perhaps my sister may have never been a teenage mother in the first place. I continued to

struggle and be withdrawn from my family as a way to handle my grief. My life had to go on

somehow.

When Etta got married we were all disappointed. No one could talk her out of it not even

David. When she and the baby turned up missing and David found out they went to my house,

he was so angry with me. He was convinced that I was hiding my sister from them. David

yelled at me, “Why didn’t you call?” He could not forgive me for that. He refused to see that

she showed up on my doorstep and I was just trying to help her until she got on her feet. Etta

returned home and her life continued to be full of trouble. David tried to help her but he had a

full time job plus overtime to feed his family. Again, this just added in his anger with me.

Overtime I went home less and less. In addition, I talked to David less and less. I

sometimes wonder if I lost my brother the same night I lost my father but in a different way. We

have continued to grow apart as grown men. David grew a stronger bond with my sisters as time

passed. We hardly ever talk anymore. I guess we both hold on to our own hurt and anger.

Anger has kept us apart. I have struggled through the years to understand the illness of alcohol

and drug abuse. It has impacted my family and the generations to follow by taking my father

away from us and robbing my sister of happiness. I have wondered if there enough being done

to stop these terrible diseases that are degrading our society. Every life has value and we all

have to live with things that we cannot change about our past.

“Grief, depression, anxiety and many other emotions can impact someone affected by

drunk driving. Split second decisions to drive can lead to life altering events and unimaginable

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consequences. Guilt can overcome convicted drunk drivers while anger may harvest within

victims or their families. There is no permanent remedy that heals feelings of loss and safety.

The emotional impact remains forever” ” (Drunk Driving: It Affects Everyone).

Photo: (left to right) David, Father, Earl

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Work Cited:

“Alcoholism and Heredity .” Alcoholism and Heredity, Scott Mogul, 27 Nov. 2017, www.learn-

about-alcoholism.com/alcoholism-and-heredity.html. Accessed 27 June 2017.

“Alcohol’s Damaging Effects on the Brain.” National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and

Alcoholism, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 1 Oct. 2004,

pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa63/aa63.htm. Accessed 27 June 2017.

“Blog.” Drunk Driving: It Affects Everyone, 15 Apr. 2015, heartsforfamilies.org/blog/blog-april-

2015-drunk-driving-it-affects-everyone.aspx. Accessed 27 June 2017.

“Drunk Driving Facts.” Caron, www.caron.org/understanding-addiction/addiction-stats/drunk-

driving-facts. Accessed 27 June 2017.

Wilcox, Stephen. “Driving While Impaired -- Alcohol and Drugs.” National Council on

Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, www.ncadd.org/about-addiction/driving-while-

impaired-alcohol-and-drugs. Accessed 27 June 2017.

Madd. “History of Drunk Driving.” MADD, www.madd.org/drunk-driving/about/history.html.

Accessed 27 June 2017.

“Impact of Car Accidents Can Be Long-Lasting.” WebMD, WebMD, www.webmd.com/mental-

health/news/20010820/impact-of-car-accidents-can-be-long-lasting#1. Accessed 27 June

2017.

“PTSD: National Center for PTSD.” Anger and Trauma - PTSD: National Center for PTSD, 1

Jan. 2007, www.ptsd.va.gov/public/problems/anger-and-trauma.asp. Accessed 27 June

2017.

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Wood, Janice. “Sudden Death of Loved One Can Trigger Psychiatric Disorders.” Psych Central

News, 6 Oct. 2015, psychcentral.com/news/2014/05/31/sudden-death-of-loved-one-can-

trigger-psychiatric-disorders/70623.html. Accessed 27 June 2017.

Admin, Author. “Teen Depression.” Teen Depression, 25 Nov. 2010, www.teendepression.org/.

Accessed 27 June 2017.

“Watch Truth About Drugs Documentary Video & Learn About Substance Addiction. Get The

Facts About Painkillers, Marijuana, Cocaine, Meth & Other Illegal Drugs.” Foundation

for a Drug-Free World, www.drugfreeworld.org/drugfacts/alcohol/drinking-and-

driving.html. Accessed 27 June 2017.

Galbicsek, Carol. “What Is Alcoholism? - Learn about an Alcohol Addiction.” Alcohol Rehab

Guide, www.alcoholrehabguide.org/alcohol/. Accessed 27 June 2017.

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www.factretriever.com/drunk-driving-facts. Accessed 27 June 2017.