Unit 6

Creating People and

Places

Unit Objectives

This unit will help you to;Describe places and characters in different

waysFind different ways of grabbing your

readers attentionChoose and use interesting vocabularyStructure paragraphs effectivelyPlan draft and present your work

Zooming In

Learning Outcome:

• Use the technique of ‘zooming in’ to make details more interesting for the reader

• Use prepositions in my writing

Key words

Prepositions

Prepositions • Prepositions tell you where something is situated

or how it is positioned

Examples:HereBy

AgainstBelowUnderOverIn

Dangerous games1) I was playing football …………the street. Suddenly the ball

bounced …………….. the pavement.

2) It rolled ……….. the road. Without thinking I chased ……………. the ball.

3) Rajiv shouted me to stop. It was too late. A car was coming ……………. me. All kinds of thoughts went ……………….. my mind.

4) Then the car hit me and knocked me …….. the road. I could hear it as it went ……………. me. Then I passed out.

5) I don’t remember anything else. Rajiv says they put me ……… a stretcher and then drove me ……….town by ambulance.

6) I suppose they must have done because I woke up ….. the hospital. …………………….. coming round though, I had a strange experience.

Dangerous games1) I was playing football IN the street. Suddenly the ball bounced

OFF the pavement.

2) It rolled INTO the road. Without thinking I chased AFTER the ball.

3) Rajiv shouted me to stop. It was too late. A car was coming TOWARDS me. All kinds of thoughts went THROUGH my mind.

4) Then the car hit me and knocked me INTO the road. I could hear it as it went PAST me. Then I passed out.

5) I don’t remember anything else. Rajiv says they put me ON a stretcher and then drove me ACROSS town by ambulance.

6) I suppose they must have done because I woke up …IN.. the hospital. BEFORE coming round though, I had a strange experience.across behind down to around

above beside

Descriptive writing in prose

PROSE is _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.

Zooming In

Once upon a time there was a ____, _____ planet.

On the _____, ______ planet was a _____, _____ city.

In the _____, _____ city was a _____, _____ building.

Behind the _____, _____ building was a…

Zooming inWhen you describe something in writing, you have to decide

where to begin and end your description. One way to do this

is to imagine you are filming a scene and zooming in.

Read Dark, Dark Tale

Descriptive writing in prose

Page 63

Lesson 3

Lesson Objective

To learn how to focus your reader through the use of detail

Lesson Outcome

By the end of the lesson I will use the technique of ‘zooming in’ to add detail and description to my writing

Once upon a time there was a…Planet

Continent

Country

City

Street

Shop

Room

Corner

Cupboard

Drawer

Box

?

Island

Seashore

Jungle

River

Waterfall

Cave

Tunnel

?

Motorway

Road

Fields

Farm

Farmhouse

Barn

Ladder

?

Remember to:

• Include prepositions

• Include adjectives

• Aim for at least 10 lines

Descriptive Writing

Learning Outcome

• Focus your reader by using detailed description

• Vary your sentence length

Key words

Detail, description

Detail in prose

ACTIVITY 2Answer questions 1-4 in your yellow book (10 mins)1) Pond dust cobwebs mouse2) 4: in corner / Tuck / Forgotten / Shotgun.

The sentence is short for effect.The short sentence is at the end as a powerful cliffhanger.

3) The writer used a new sentence beginning with ‘and’ to create the effect of a list. 4) Repetition : every, and, comma use (b) for effect (c ) to

create the effect of a list.

PAGE 64

Using the unexpectedActivity 3Write the final sentence from ‘Tuck Everlasting’,

and replace the shotgun with something else that is unusual in order to surprise your reader. Remember, the item needs to be realistic.

For example,And in a corner stood Tuck’s forgotten pram.And in a corner stood Tuck’s forgotten alcohol.And in a corner stood Tuck’s forgotten bible.

ActivityYour task is to write a description of the

inside of a house. Imagine yourself walking through the front door and into one of the rooms. Use noun phrases and prepositions to describe the objects in the room. Zoom in on a final surprise. Use ‘Tuck Everlasting’ as a model and aim for only 5 sentences.

Example:

I walked into the scruffy little house beside the grave yard; my eyes fell upon the battered front door, the rusty door knocker and the spider dangling from the door handle. I made my way into the…

Example:I walked into the scruffy little house beside the grave yard; my eyes fell upon the battered front door, the rusty door knocker and the spider dangling from the door handle. I made my way into the…

Describing a Place

Learning Outcome• To use noun phrases in my writing• To describe a place and focus on more than one

of the five senses

Key words• Noun phrase• Adjective• Senses

Noun phrases

The job of an adjective is to describe a nounActivityPlace two adjectives in front of these nouns to

make a noun phrase1. _________, __________ water2. _________, __________ ice3. _________, __________ night4. _________, __________ problem5. _________, __________ face6. _________, __________ door

Skellig

TASK:

Read Skellig, and discuss Activity 5, parts 1,2 and 3.

Then complete the chart in part 4

Page 67

Effective choice of words

Writer’s choice Alternative word Explanation

Scuttled Moved

Tiptoed Walked

Snapped Broke

Scattering Running

Peered Looked

Effective choice of wordsWriter’s

choice

Alternative word Explanation

Scuttled Moved Unusual word

Tiptoed Walked Makes the movement very visual for the reader

Snapped Broke Onomatopoeia for effect

Scattering Running Sound of the word mirrors the action

Peered Looked For emphasis of the action

Describing a placeActivity 6Look at the pictures on page 69. Think about the setting,

possible characters, possible dates for the pictures, what you may be able to see, hear, taste, touch and smell if you were at that building.

Imagine you are at the building (just as you imagined being at your house and described it as you moved around the house). Write a description of the building using

Interesting vocabulary – noun phrases Prepositions Thoughtful sentence structure Zooming in on a character that you find there (This will be your marking criteria)

Using vocabulary to create atmosphere

You really can choose vocabulary to create atmosphere with anything. Take the humble apple, for example.

How might we describe this apple in different settings?

In a hot summers kitchen:• Round• Rosy• Juicy• Shiny• Tempting• Crunchy• Fresh• Salad

In an infested squatter’s kitchen:

• Rotten• Maggot• Bruised• Brown• Battered• Dry• Nauseating

Using verbs to describe a character

Learning Outcome

Select verbs and adjectives that contribute to character description

Key words

Description

Verbs

adjectives

The bent, old man limped slowly down the street.

Change the verb, adverb and adjectives so that you are describing a younger person.

Describing a CharacterActivity: Describe the character that you found

in the building, in the work you did last lesson

1. Describe the character’s face, using adjectives and verbs. Describe: face, eyes, hair, mouth, nose, expression.

2. Describe the position of your character using prepositions.

3. Describe their clothes.

4. Describe how they react to you – e.g relief, fear, suspicion…

5. Include a short conversation between you and your character.

End of Unit AssessmentSECURE•Keep your writing in the past tense!•Describe what can be seen, felt, heard, smelt and tasted•In your writing use adjectives that create atmosphere and mood•Write in paragraphs – beginning, middle and end•Use basic punctuation accurately e.g. capital letters, commas and full stopsEXCEEDING•In your writing use noun phrases, similes and prepositions to create imagery in the mind of the reader•Write with detail and description in developed paragraphs•Use common punctuation accurately e.g. ! ?HIGHEST•Use the range of punctuation accurately, including speech punctuation•Use a variety of sentence lengths and styles•Use a variety of sentence openings – (‘ing words ‘ly’ words and connectives)