1. 1. Effectively Manage Emotions Dr Brandy A Marks Biblical & Licensed Mental Health Counselor Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA 1
2. 2. Emotions According to Webster's dictionary, the term emotion is the Latin ex-movere, meaning to move away. When we are carnal, in our emotions, we move away from the will of God and do not walk in the Spirit. Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA 2
3. 3. Emotions How do you use your emotions as a means to move away from people? Does your anger keep you apart from others? When did your emotions cause you move away from the will of God and not walk in the Spirit? What was God asking you to do? What did you feel that created the separation? How could you use your emotions to move toward closeness with God and/or others? Talk about my feelings of . Let other people know I am anxious or afraid, etc. 3
4. 4. Emotional Responses Emotions are "a complex, usually a strong subjective response that involves physiologic changes preparing us for action (to fight or flee or even be at peace) Due to their complexity, emotions are not easy to explain, which can make dealing with them very difficult, however Clear thinking means we will more likely be led by the Spirit, not our emotions. 4
5. 5. Your Emotions What Emotions do you typically experience and respond to frequently? What action do they prepare you for? When angry, I prepare to What do emotions mean to you? Is it okay to be angry, sad, fearful, joyful, other? Im embarrassed to cry; I must be happy not angry. How could you use your mind to overcome angry, fearful or anxious emotions? 5
6. 6. Holy Spirit Leading Joyce Meyer says the Holy Spirit may be leading us to do one thing but our emotions, especially we get all excited about doing something, we may see the emotion as a confirmation of God's will. Especially if its something we strongly desire This is not necessarily an accurate perception That physiologic response may be nothing more than a rush of adrenalin (that brings excitement) or norepinephrine (bringing a pleasant feeling). 6
7. 7. Holy Spirit Leading Have you gotten excited about something, thinking it was a confirmation of God's will? You met someone at church and he or she was your ideal so you assumed God brought that person into your life so he or she must be meant for you. What was the event? How did you feel then? What did you do about it? How did that situation work out? Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA 7
8. 8. Satan and Emotions Other times, the Spirit may lead us to do a certain thing, and our emotions will not want anything to do with what God has revealed for us. Fear or anxietytools of Satan--can keep us from moving with the will of God. At times it is harder to obey God. Satan uses our emotions - or lack - to keep us out of God's will. What situation comes to mind? How did it work out and what did you learn? 8
9. 9. To serve - Emotions or? Choose this day whom you will serve [your emotions or God] Joshua 24:15. Whats it like being a slave to your emotion? Can you imagine be freed of that enslavement? The wise will hear and increase in learning, and the person of understanding acquires skill and sound counsel [so you follow Gods will]--Pro 1:5 What learning or skills do you need to increase? 9
10. 10. Enjoy Emotions We can and should enjoy our emotions, however, there are times when they work against us, such as when we listen to the emotion rather than to God. So, do not set aside and invalidate, frustrate and/or nullify the grace of God - Galatians 2:21 [by not listening and instead going your own way.] Consider a situation where you did your own thing and how it turned out. Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA 10
11. 11. Walled Emotions People who have been badly hurt, they may develop a hard heart and build walls to protect themselves. Pride can also lead us to a hardness of heart as was seen with the Pharisees of Jesus day. Everyone has feelings, but some people choose not to reveal theirs and become callous -not feeling anything. Breaking down the walls by the Word is needed and having a spiritual mind, one that is focused on God. 11
12. 12. Broken Walls When have you been badly hurt? Failed relationship, gossipy friends who hurt you Have you ever had a hardness of heart and built walls to protect yourself? Describe. Have you chosen not to reveal your feelings and kept silent when someone was hurting? How could you strengthen your spiritual mind and break down your hard hearted walls? 12
13. 13. A Spiritual Mind Stop those who do evil. Support those who do good. God, you are fair. ... Psalm 7:9 If your thinking is controlled by your sinful self, there is spiritual death. But if your thinking is of the Spirit, there is life and peace. -Ro 8:6. If we pursue the material and live only for our self, we'll never be satisfied. If we live for the Spirit, we'll live in peace now and forever. --Romans 8:7 What price have you paid for being carnal and hostile [rebellious] to Gods will? 13
14. 14. Carnal Impulses as long as there is envy, jealousy and arguing and division among you, you are unspiritual and of the flesh, behaving like mere humans--1 Cor 3:3. The unspiritual are so, because they lived by human nature, controlled by their "impulses" [emotions] and not the Spirit of God. They needed to change their habits [their mind] and respond with fruit of the Spirit [in love, joy, peace, patience, kind, generous, faithful]. 14
15. 15. Impulses Where is envy and jealousy in your life? Who do you argue with creating division? What is your attitude and behavior like? How do your impulses control you? Are you generally led by the Spirit? Do you tend to be led by impulses? What habits do you need to change? 15
16. 16. Breaking Habits Breaking any habit is a struggle; its a fight within that requires God, "Lord, help me"; And knowing the Holy Spirit is always with us to help at all times. However, we must make the choice to do whatever is right in Gods sight. What choices do you need to make? Change your way of thinking and you will change. 16
17. 17. Choices Ask and it will be given; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened (Luke 11.9) God expects us to do our part too, while asking Him for what we need, seeking, and looking for the doors he will open. But then, we must take action and walk through, following in His ways. God gives us the ability to do whatever is needed, but we must choose wisely. 17
18. 18. Wisdom The beginning of Wisdom is: get Wisdom! With all you have gotten, get understanding (Pro 4:7.) Thus we see through the lies Satan speaks and past the feelings he stirs within us. We keep our eyes on the Word of God and do what it says, not what we feel like doing. Therefore, we have become wise. 18
19. 19. Commit Your Way As such, commit your way to the Lord and be led by the Spirit - not by your emotions. When an emotion rises, test it to see if it is of God. If it is not, resist it. Emotions are appropriate depending on a situation Thus we struggle against our emotions - by using our free will to make a decision. We turn to Jesus who understood, having been tempted and overcame. 19
20. 20. Committed As such, commit your way to the Lord and be led by the Spirit - not by your emotions. What emotions often rise to tempt you? How do you experience them? Your attitude toward others or situations? How can your free will help you to do what is right in Gods sight? What different choices do you need to make? 20
21. 21. Jesus and Emotions Jesus was touched with the feelings of our infirmities, and was in all ways tempted just as we are, yet without sin. Do you feel hope, knowing that, as a human, if Jesus managed, you can too? How was Jesus tempted just as you are? Imagine coming boldly to the throne and finding mercy and grace to help in your time of need? 21
22. 22. Rely and Refuse Jesus experienced every emotion you and I do, yet He did not give in to His feelings. He relied on the Word of God and refused to be tempted to act sinfully. It is not a matter of simply thinking, "I shouldn't feel this way"; But a matter of knowing you have a choice; Recognize the emotion/feeling, then let it go Cry out to God and let the fruit of the Holy Spirit lend discipline and control to your emotions. (Galatians 5:23.) 22
23. 23. Gifts of the Spirit We are to use the gifts of the Holy Spirit: according to the grace that is given us, if prophecy, according to the level of our faith; If in a ministry, then we minister Those who teach, do so in teaching; S/he who exhorts, be encouraging Those who share, keep it super simple If a leader, be diligent to lead well; or Those who show mercy, do so joyfully. What gifts have you received? How could you put them to better use? 23
24. 24. Brotherly Love Let love be without hypocrisy, avoid evil, do good; in brotherly love to one another, loving fervently, having led one another in honor. Be diligent, not slothful, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in affliction, steadfast in prayer, give to the needs of the saints, pursue hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless, and do not curse. Love as you love yourself and everyone does love themselves; its why we do what we do. 24
25. 25. Rejoice I Say Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep; mind the same thing toward one another, not minding high things [being full of yourself], but yielding to the lowly [be humble]. Do not be wise in yourselves, nor repay evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA 25
26. 26. Now we Rejoice How can you apply each of these in your life? Rejoice with those who rejoice Weep with those who weep or grieve; mind the same thing toward one another, not being prideful, but humble. Do not be wise within yourselves. Repay no one evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 26
27. 27. If it is possible, as far as you are able, be at peace with everyone; do not avenge yourselves; let go your anger; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord." So, if your enemy hungers, feed him. If he thirsts, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head. By doing good to your enemy, their inner guilt will burn within them and may ultimately change them. Do not be overcome by evil; overcome evil with good. 27
28. 28. Make it Happen How could you be more at peace? How can you avoid revenge? As a metaphor consider What do you feed your enemy? Fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, etc.) What can you give him drink? (kindness, compassion) How does this heap coals of fire on him? Not done in a mean-spirited manner either How can you overcome evil with good? 28
29. 29. Get Understanding All wisdom comes from the Lord, as does understanding. Proverbs 2:6 Jesus showed understanding, How can you give this message to others, no matter your past or present feelings? Satan wants us to be hard and callous so we cannot feel or be sensitive to others. Imagine you are being sensitive to even your enemies and showing them love. 29
30. 30. Sensitivity God wants us to be sensitive to the feelings and needs of others and less so to our own. Acknowledge and accept your emotions but Do not to be led by your feelings, instead be moved in compassion and understanding, so we may be able to comfort those who are in every kind of trouble, through the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (2 Corinthians 1:4). How does or has God comforted you? 30
31. 31. Not Your Feelings Jesus did not feel like going to the cross [in an agony He prayed more earnestly], yet subjected Him self to the will of God. He knelt down and prayed, Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me. Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA 31
32. 32. Blood, Sweat & Tears Yet not My will, but Yours be done. An angel appeared, strengthening Him. His sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. (Luke 22:41-44) Jesus knew about emotions! Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA 32
33. 33. Fires of Affliction Establish the righteous; for You, Who try the hearts and minds Psalm 7:9 In this Psalm and in Revelation 2:23 God searches minds (thoughts and purposes) and the [emotions] heart, and tries or tests us until purified. If God searched your mind and emotions, what would he find? How have you been tried and tested? How were you more purified? 33
34. 34. Discipline and Control How will you to learn to discipline your thoughts or emotions unless God allows you trying times? God never allows more than we can bear. (1Corinthians 10:13.) If the Lord does not allow such testing times then we will never learn to deal with the devils when he brings them upon us. What trying times have you learned from? How were you made stronger? 34
35. 35. Trying Times Trying times are learning times. Much like athletes endurance trials train them for the big race, so God train us to fulfill His purpose for our lives. Looking back, can you see how God has trained you for some purpose? What? Certain emotional conditions also provide trying times to manage. 35
36. 36. Bi-Polar Disorder Manic depressive, also Bi-Polar disorder, is disordered emotions that fluctuate from one polar extreme to the next. Anyone can learn to resist the depressed and the high emotions. There will always be days when a person is up and days when they are down. The key is to balance the emotions, not accept the highs and reject the lows. 36
37. 37. Stability is Important Being honest with our self and with others is crucial to our stability. People close to us can sense our struggles and if we are honest with them about what is going and can offer assistance. Whether anger, depression, or any emotion, our family or friends have the opportunity to encourage and support us in our need. 37
38. 38. Stability is Important Are there people with whom you can be honest about your emotions and your struggles? If no, why not? When you have been honest with others have they been there to offer support? Which of your family or friends have been there to encourage and support you? If no one, how do you manage? 38
39. 39. Ive Got the Power Whatever we hide has power over us, so we must bring everything out of darkness into the light of honesty and openness, then they lose their grip on us immediately. John 8:32 says the truth will set us free and James 5:16 says to confess our faults to one another so we may be healed and restored to spiritual health. Anger, bitterness, and resentment has many serious consequences on the body mind and spirit 39
40. 40. Wheres your Power? What is hidden that has power over you? Could you bring it out of darkness into the light of honesty and openness? If you have already done this, how did it feel to have that grip on you loosened? How has the truth set you free? Have you confessed faults to another? In what way were you healed/ restored? 40
41. 41. Respect: Give to Receive We respect people who are open and honest or straightforward just as they respect us if we are honest with them. The trick is not to cater to our emotions, giving into fear and doubt. God helps if we continually trust Him and follow the lead of the Holy Spirit. Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA 41
42. 42. Catering to Emotions In catering to our emotions, the price we pay is not living the Spirit-filled life God wants for us. In what way do you cater to your desires? Everyone who is ruled by the Holy Spirit thinks about spiritual things--Romans 8:5. If you are ruled by your emotions then they have control of you and your actions How different does this feel from catering to your desires, yourself or emotions? 42
43. 43. Vice Versa We sigh and look within; Jesus sighed and looked without. We sigh and look down; Jesus sighed and looked up. We sigh and look to earth. Jesus sighed and looked to heaven. We sigh and look to man. Jesus sighed, and looked to God! --Octavius Winslow He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk as He walked. -- 1 John 2:6 43
44. 44. I Will Never Leave You "He who sent Me is with Me. I always do what pleases Him -- John 8:29 What blessings are ours when we do what pleases Father God. "..be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." -- Heb 13:5 (VW) How does it feel, knowing God will always be there with you to help not hinder you? 44
45. 45. A Weakness Some people see emotions as a weakness, and feel guilty when experiencing emotions of anger or sorrow. Many Christians believe Jesus was detached from his emotions, and so should we be. Yet the gospels reveal that Jesus was very emotional. He wept. He felt anger; in the Garden of Gethsemane shortly before His arrest . . . Mark 14:32-42 He experienced some troublesome emotions 45
46. 46. A Man of Sorrows Really consider this next scene and what it must have been like for Jesus 32. Then they came to a place which was named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, "Sit here while I pray." 33. And He took Peter, James and John with Him, and He began to be troubled and deeply distressed. 34. He said, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay and watch. 46
47. 47. Fearful and Frustrated 35. He fell on the ground, And He said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will." 37. Then He came and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, "Simon, are you sleeping? Could you not watch one hour? 38. Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak. 47
48. 48. Time and Again 39. Again He went away and prayed, and spoke the same words. 40. And when He returned, He found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy; and they did not know what to answer Him. 41. He came the third time and said, "Are you still sleeping and resting? It is enough! The hour has come; behold, the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. 48
49. 49. The Betrayal 42. Rise. Let us be going. My betrayer is at hand. see Luke 22:44 No matter what emotions we feel, Jesus knew everyone and understood what we are going through. However, He chose to respond different from the way many of us do. While frustrated that they slept on, he did not berate them but endured with patience. Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA 49
50. 50. Doctrine of the Cross Anyone who desires to come after me, must deny themselves, pick up their cross daily, and come follow meLuke 9:23 To express emotion as Jesus did means to deny our desire for emotional displays or denial of emotion, and Instead respond thoughtfully and with love and honesty toward others. How hard or easy would that be for you? 50
51. 51. Thank you for watching I hope this was a blessing for you and helps you to make the changes you desire in your life. Dr Brandy A Marks www.dotcross.org Vancouver WA 51
52. 52. 2006_Dr Brandy A Marks Biblical & Licensed Mental Health Counselor 360-696-8909 52 Original content was derived from various material on the web, including Joyce Meyers and G. B. B Shelburne, et al.