they wanted to kill the only person who could set them free by vanderkok

8/14/2019 THEY WANTED TO KILL THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD SET THEM FREE by vanderKOK

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10/5/08THEY WANTED TO KILL THE

ONLY PERSONWHO COULD SET THEM FREE; and

DONT BE SURPRISED IF THEY WANT TO KILL US AS WELL- --

BECAUSE WE ARE THE BODY OFCHRIST AND WE ARE THE ONLY

ONESTHAT CAN SET THEM FREE

TODAY !

In every community, in every office, in every classroom,in every village, city, state.you name it, in everyECOSYSTEM there is a person or living being that isBETTER than the rest. And because he or she is betterthose around him or her, rather than acknowledgingthat person or animals goodness or greatness, become

jealous and hope for the demise of that being. TheULTIMATE EXAMPLE of such, of course, is JESUSCHRIST, our SAVIOR.

Imagine you are hanging from the edge of a skyscraper

losing your grasp with only seconds remaining beforeyou fall to your painful death on the street below, andan ANGEL passes by and says, Do you want me tosave you ?And you look at the angel and say,sarcastically, Yeah sure, and make you a hero. No


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way ! Id rather die than make you a hero. Get lostangel.

That ANGEL was the SPIRIT OF GOD coming torescue YOU ! You see JESUS CANT CHANGE YOUR LIFE unless you first recognize that YOU needchanging.

We cant HONOR GOODNESS & greatness unless wefirst acknowledge our own sinfulness There will alwaysbe someone or something GREATER than us and atsome point you have to make a CHOICE and honor andacknowledge somebody who has done BETTER thanyou or decide to attack that which has done somethinggood.

What would CAUSE normally rational and decentbeings to attack and kill that which is better than

them ? or that which can save them ?

Imagine you are drowning in a SEA OF WATERyouonly have moments to go before you lose all strengthand sink to the ocean floor forever. A person of greatstrength happens to SWIM BY and OFFERS to saveyou ! You are a small personsmall meaning you arepetty and vindictiveand despite the fact that yoursavior is right next to youready to carry you to shore

you get so angry that this person is stronger andbetter than you at swimmingyou use your LASTOUNCE of strength to pull his head under water and


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sink to the bottom with you, thereby killing not onlyyourself but the savior as well.

This HAPPENS every day in various circumstanceswhere the good and the golden are DYING for the sakeof sinners who dont want to be saved.

THE GOOD BOOK SPEAKS LOUD & CLEAR :

In the very same way, these dreamers pollute their own bodies, reject authority

and slander celestial beings. 9 But eventhe archangel Michael, when he was

disputing with the devil about the body of Moses, did not dare to bring a slanderous

accusation against him, but said, "TheLord rebuke you!" 10 Yet these men

speak abusively against whatever they do

not understand; and what things they dounderstand by instinct, like unreasoninganimals these are the very things that

destroy them.

11 Woe to them! They have taken theway of Cain; they have rushed for profit

into Balaam's error; they have beendestroyed in Korah's rebellion.

12 These men are blemishes at your love feasts,eating with you without the slightest qualm shepherds who feed only themselves. They are


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clouds without rain, blown along by the wind;autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted twicedead. 13 They are wild waves of the sea, foaming

up their shame; wandering stars, for whomblackest darkness has been reserved forever.

Enoch, the seventh from Adam,

prophesied about these men: "See,the Lord is coming with thousands

upon thousands of his holy ones to judge everyone, and to convict all theungodly of all the ungodly acts they

have done in the ungodly way, and of all the harsh words ungodly sinners

have spoken against him."

These men are grumblers and faultfinders; they follow their own evil desires; they boast about

themselves and flatter others for their ownadvantage.

Jude 8-16NIV We have NO CHANCE without JESUS CHRIST. Weare ALL SINNERS, the only difference between US andTHEM is that they wont acknowledge their sinfulnessand wont praise the SAVIOR who came to RESCUEthem.


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But, dear friends, remember what theapostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold.They said to you, "In the last times there

will be scoffers who will follow their ownungodly desires." These are the men whodivide you, who follow mere natural

instincts and do not ha ve the Spirit

Jude 17-19 These men would rather drag the SAVIOR down withthem than save themselves or others. But WE aredifferent, aren't we ? Those of you who read this andTRULY BELIEVE with me:

But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faithand pray in the Holy Spirit. 21 Keepyourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

Jude 20-21 My friends, it is 7:00 a.m. and I am in downtown LosAngeles at the corner of grand & 6 th Street surroundedby skyscrapers the tallest of which about a year ago Iactually took the STEPS up all the way to the top in theannual YMCA stair walk . Talk about needing salvation

I almost needed an OXYGEN MASK to make it. Iwas NOT in good physical shape and havent been since


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2000 when I got mugged by crooks and had permanentdamage done to my spinecall it spinal stenosis orcervical radiculopathy or sciatica it HURTS-but I

KEEP GOINGand last week I had TWO MAJOR PAIN INJECTIONS and for the first time in eightyears I felt no pain ! GLORY BE TO GOD !

And my friends, I have TWO BAs AND a MASTERSDEGREE but when I go to a medical doctor I knowthey know MORE THAN ME about the human bodyand I acknowledge their superior knowledge in thatregard.

Last night the L.A. DODGERS beat the CHICAGOCUBS to win the first round of the MLB PLAYOFFS.Ive been going to BOTH DODGERS & ANGELSgames all season and its good to have at LEAST ONEL.A. team advancing to the next round (Angels have one

last chance to redeem themselves in Boston andmiraculously claw back from a 2-0 deficit but its notlooking very hopefulbut nonetheless theres stillhope).

I sat down in this Starbucks coffee shop and a CUBSfan came in, obviously flew in all the way from theWINDY CITY with HOPE that the CUBBIES mightpull off a mini miracle but it was NOT meant to be. Isaid to him, I CANT RUB IT INI actually had alittle hope for the CUBS and its TRUEthe CUBShave and CUBS fans DESERVE a world series teammore than anybody elseits been SO LONG. Despite


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being a DODGER & ANGEL fan I could set aside mypersonal hopes for my local teams in favor of the CUBSfor the sake of the CUBS. I couldnt rub it in and I hope

the DODGER FANS werent chanting CUBS SUCKlast night. Theres times when you have to set aside theprotocol and show some class. Thats one BOOK I remember reading back atCALVIN COLLEGE, my alma mater, entitledsomething like STYLE & CLASS and it always stuck with me. You gotta know when to show some class which is different than style. Style dictates saying theopposing team sucks as youre closing in on a win,but in some cases CLASS overrides style.

Theres the story about the QUEEN OF ENGLANDinviting a poor man to a meal at the castle. And whenthey served the SOUP the queen and all the other

royalty at the table delicately and daintily used theirsoup spoon in the proper way but the POOR MAN tothe horror of some of the royalty lifted the bowl directlyto his mouth and sipped from it. The queen, showingCLASS, and glaring at everybody at the table not toembarrass the poor man, LIKEWISE lifted the bowl of soup to her mouthand all the other royalty did thesamesuspending STYLE for a moment for the sake of classFOR the sole purpose of NOT embarrassing thePAUPER.

MY friends---when we go and MAKE DISCIPLESand PREACH the KINGDOM


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(Matt 20.20) we must ALSO NOT SHY AWAY of telling people that they, like us, are sinners, and needSALVATION:

Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.

But go and learn what this means:'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For

I have not come to call the

righteous, but sinners ."Matt 9:12-13 JESUS CAME TO DELIVER SINNERSand some of the RIGHTEOUS perhaps were meant to be inquotations because who is righteous ? Nobody isrighteous and nobody is good. Even Jesus, HIMSELF,objected when somebody called him good teacher.

"Why do you call me good ? " Jesus answered."No one is good except God alone. You

know the commandments: 'Do not murder,do not commit adultery, do not steal, do notgive false testimony, do not defraud, honor

your father and mother.'" Mark 10:18-19

IF that doesnt come as a SHOCK I dont know whatdoes. NOBODY IS GOOD BUT GOD. We are all


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sinners and we ALL need salvation and regenerationand sanctification. And the ONLY way that comes isFROM JESUS CHRIST OUR SAVIOR, but yet there

was a day when the ONLY PERSON who could setTHEM FREE is the person the wanted to KILL morethan anybody else.

The EASTER MESSAGE is timeless and NEEDS to betold ALL THE TIME not just around EASTER.

Wanting to release Jesus, Pilate appealed tothem again. But they kept shouting, "Crucifyhim! Crucify him!"

Luke 23:20-21 What kind of LUST is buried deep inside YOU ? whatside of the fence will you be on when they put JESUS

on trial again? Will you be yelling, CRUCIFY HIM orwill you be crying and in agony because they are killingthe ONLY MAN who can set you free ?

SURE, it was dictated it was meant to beit was partof the pre-ordained story but whether it bringscompassion out of you or a lust for death from youdivides those who will be eternally lost from those whoare eternally FREE !

Jesus called his disciples to him and said, "I havecompassion for these people;

Matt 15:32


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Jesus had compassion o n them

and touched their eyes .

Matt 20:34

Filled with compassion , Jesus

reached out his hand and touched

the man."I am willing," he said. "Beclean!"

Mark 1:41-42

When Jesus landed and saw alarge crowd, he had compassionon them, because they were like

sheep without a shepherd.Mark 6:34

Even a major parable JESUS told is aboutCOMPASSION:

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was

filled with compassion for him; he


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ran to his son, threw his armsaround him and kissed him .

Luke 15:20 AND PAUL reminds us of what GOD said to MOSES:

For he says to Moses,"I will have mercy on whom I have mercy,

and I will have compassion on whom I havecompassion ."

Rom 9:15 And what TITLE does PAUL give to GOD ?

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the

God of all comfort 2 Cor 1:3 We do NOT understand GODS ways in totality. Ourunderstanding of JUSTICE is not always GODsJUSTICE. The JEWS who crucified JESUS believedthey were better persons because they obeyed the lawbetter than anybody else, but did they forget about theSPIRIT OF THE LAW ?

Not only is the story about JUSTICE but also aboutCOMPASSION & MERCY :

The Lord is full of compassion and mercy


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James 5:11 Even TODAY in our denominations and formal church

orders there are problems with MANS SENSE OFJUSTICE overriding GODs intentions . In my owndenomination, the CRC (Christian Reformed Church)there are people CLINGING to a man-made

And this extends all the way out WEST to FULLER SEMINARY. Mouw, my friend Rich Mouw, WENT allthe way from Calvin College to Fuller Seminary (thecollege is NOT the seminary by the way) and anytimeyou get near one of these academic settings whether it isthe CHRISTIAN college or seminary you immediatelywill experience hierarchical order, with a STRICT senseof hierarchy dictating all that gets done ( or doesnt getdone).

To me the ENTIRE DENOMINATIONAL SYSTEMand the seminary and all things related SMACKS of alegalistic way that is the OPPOSITE of the compassionand mercy of GOD THE FATHER, SON, & HOLYSPIRIT, and despite the fact that I went THROUGHthis system I REJECT a large part of what itrepresents. It is a system that leads to people RESTINGON THEIR LAURELS.

And this same source of resting on laurels carriesover into the formal churchof all denominations, bothCatholic & Protestant and actually becomes part of what WE as CHRISTIANS must be preaching about or


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against or towards. It represents COMPLACENCY andlack of care or concern, because it sets up a SYSTEMthat allows people to simply GO THRU THE

MOTIONS.

ANY time the SPIRIT IS institutionalized it willinevitably LOSE its charisma and spontaneity. I amconstantly trying to think of ways to avoid routine andpredictability. I am always seeking NEW WAYS toavoid routine and predictability.

Most recentlyjust todayactually I pre-planned it aweek agoI bought a broom and I will stopspontaneously in different places wherever I am on theroadand sweep up some trash. WHY NOT ? Itsvoluntarily community service.

But a generous man devises generous things, And by generosity he shall stand .

Isa 32:8

Ive been doing as much voluntary work as I can andleft the lucrative prospect of a law career in order tofollow GOD more clearly and closely, albeit it was along journey to clarity.

Leaving Wayne State Law School in November of 1990was one of the toughest decisions I ever made, but it justwasnt in me to stay in a tiny apartment with Cliff Maat

and eke out a law school credential, especially after


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finding him with a homosexual in our apartment,engaged in a homosexual act. I just could NOT continueliving there after that experience. I could NOT abide by

that.

So as Ive repeatedly told in previous messagesI leftWayne State Law School and headed west, but before Igot out of Michigan I stopped in Grand Rapids and saidfarewell to a few friends, including Doug kosters, whom,as some of you know, subsequently commit suicide inDecember of 1990. A few months later, after thefuneral, I was in Costa Rica doing disaster relief , andthen for a few months tutoring at Drake BayWilderness Camp, right next to the world famousCorcovado National Park.

Should I forgive CLIFF for being homosexual ? He saidhe was Christian. I dont know and try not to think

about it too much. And should I forgive Doug White formasturbating in our Calvin College apartment onLowell Street ? I try not to think about it.

I just go on with my life , doing the best I can. I try notto think too much about the death of DOUG and tryNOT to focus on what I felt was a dysfunctional familysetting for him. I think his dad JULIUS could have beena better dad and a better friend to DOUG.

But I move oneven when I was in Costa Rica I hadmisgivings about the CRC missionaries and the waythey were doing things. Paul Bergsma, one of the long-


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term CRC missionaries in Costa Rica just happened torent out his house to a friend or associate of mine Janet Ludema who went down there with Barb

Wiersma.

When I arrived to do disaster relief I stayed for a fewdays in the house of PAUL BERGSMA at theinvitation of Janet Ludema. She was nice towards me civil I would sayeven though BARB Wiersma was not

by that time Barb had found a Costa Rican boyfriend(remember Barb and I had a relationship for a while,stemming from going to Spain together with a CalvinCollege Spanish classa relationship that actuallytranspired after we returned from Spainand we wereback in Grand Rapids together). But by the time Ihappened to end up in Costa Rica our relationship hadended abruptly after she gave me an ultimatum of marriage or else I was interested, but said, wait. I

didnt say no, I said WAIT.

Anyways, she took wait as NO and considered it aninsult to her dignity. As they say, HELL HAT NOFURY AS A WOMAN SCORNED but then I didntscorn herI simply said, wait or not yet

But while I was staying with Janet Ludema at PaulBergsmas house in Costa Rica I realized that theseCRC MISSIONARIES take advantage of the churchand the people who go to the Christian ReformedChurch back in the USA.


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And one of the ways they TAKE ADVANTAGE of US is a form of machismo by which they say all of USdomestic folk back in the USA are wimpy jerkoffs

and THEY are the strong, macho, defenders of thefaith out in the field driving a four-by-four doing thehard, back-breaking, sweaty inglorious work. Actually,they make it ALL THE MORE GLORIOUS when theycome back home and show their slides at churchalong with their appeal for money.

Every now and then I get an e-mail from Paul Bergsmaand he acts typically like one of them. Its like puttingyour money in the hands of traitorswho dont wantto be patriots. They actually scorn Americanpatriotism and love them more than us. All thewhile demanding that w e give them money because weare jerkoffs.

The Brinks family is a good example of the MACHOMISSIONARY who scorns the people from whom theydemand financial support. Ray & Gladys are nowretired in Falmouth, Michiganliving in a beautifulhouse alongside a nice river. And their son, Steve, who Ioriginally met in the dormitory my freshman year atCalvin College, and who impressed me SO MUCH withhis alleged concern for third world people is now livingin a very nice house by Breton Village and NEVER went back to do mission work for the poor as he hadinsinuated might be his real passion.


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It was all a SCAM to lead some of US ASTRAY. Itwas all bullst as they say. Were any of them trulyChristian ? I started to wonder ! I NO LONGER hear

from them at all. They just wanted me as far away fromthem as possible because I was TOO GOOD. Soundfamiliar ? They wanted me dead or, alternatively,could care less if I was alive. Out of sight, out of mind.

They took over my hometown with a pretense of carefor the poor and it was all in the name of laziness. Theyenjoyed the good life as kids abroad in the missionaryfield and when it came time to work they suddenly camehome to make bigger bucks. I can name the names:Steve Brinks ( & his wife Winny Devries) and AudreyVan Oen (from Canada) and her husband Eric Kooyer(who went to the public schools and scorned all theChristian kids but now they give to Christian educationto get their name on the list of donors. Erics a doctor

nowno financial worries for them. And their pastor Jack Roedafrom Canadais glad that Im out of town. Canadians typically dont like Americans born onAmerican soileven the pastors in the CRC who doministry here in the USA would rather not have tocontend with American do-gooders in theircongregation. Its very self-serving.

And the ONE PLACE that I thought I might have ahome is back out here in Southern California at theCrystal Cathedral. But I can assure you my dad doesnot want a do-gooder like me at the Crystal Cathedral.I might outshine him. Of course, without much income I


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look a little bit questionabledriving an old stationwagon and my dad can keep playing the big mansupporter by giving me a few bucks here and there.

Its all for HIS glory, AND I dont mean GOD, I meanJIM.

If there is one place that really disappointed me asmuch as the CRC MISSIONARIES (Brinks, Bergsma,Hogan, Post, et. al) it was the Crystal Cathedral andtheir patriotic Christianity at the expense of WHOM ? ME OF COURSE.

I gave everything I could to the Crystal Cathedral andgot NOTHING BACK BUT SCORNand it didnthelp, of course, that Amanda Steele suddenly reared herugly head at the Crystal Cathedral. Thats a wholenother storyas they say I began to wonder WHATor WHOM REALLY IS CHRISTIAN ? And then I

came back to the realization that we are ALL SINNERS and thats THEIR EXCUSE.

But if that becomes too much of a cheap excuse itsnothing but cheap grace and then the sacrifice of Christon the cross becomes cheapened by those who practicecheap grace. Its all TOO EASYand MAKESpracticing the Christian life fairly cheap. Theres got tobe a point where you make a stand sometime. And how do they JUSTIFY stealing from us ? its calledJEALOUSY ! Or coveting. And thats why there is acommandment against coveting:


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" You shall not covet your

neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or hismanservant or maidservant, hisox or donkey, or anything that

belongs to your neighbor ." Ex 20:17

And so I just keep going forward, jealousy be damned.At some point you just have to try to put it OUT OFYOUR MINDand act as if it doesnt exist. You haveto live by PRETENSEknowing that they have cheatedyou, and will cheat you again if the opportunity arises.So dont go back to them. Go forward. Dont look back ! Make a DIFFERENCE in this world while you arehere. Life is short.

Yesterday I went to the SARAH PALIN presidentialcampaign rally at the HOME DEPOT sports center inCarson, California. She spoke about being aprogressive conservative. She was introduced by anactor by the name of Jon Voigt who I googled on my

handheld device and happens to be the estrangedfather of actress Angeline Jolie who married Brad Pittafter his extramarital affair with her. He said he used tobe a democrat and back in the 60s was anti-war during


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the Vietnam era but was now on the other side of thefence and in support of the Republicans.

WHO will be the next president ? and will HE save us ?Like JESUS who said ONLY GOD IS GOOD, with aslight variation I would say ONLY GOD CAN SAVEUS

Nonetheless, the position of American President isdefinitely a BIG ONE, and a WEIGHTY ONE andshould be taken seriously by the person in the office aswell as the persons voting. We must carefully weigh thewords and positions of the candidates and try todetermine who will LIVE UP TO THOSE WORDS themost .

And I would say we MUST PRAY for that personandmust pray that GODs WILL BE DONE, not ours, nor

the presidents. Our president will make SIGNIFICANTdecisions that will effect our lives and the lives of others

not only in the USA but around the world. The USAstill has MORE IMPACT on the world than any othercountry ! And YES, in some cases the PRESIDENT willbe the ONLY ONE who can set some people freeandsome of them will nonetheless want to kill him. Thosewho are fighting against DEMOCRACY are fightingagainst a cause that will set them free. They arehardened to the truth, and will kill YOU or ME or thePRESIDENT if they have the chance because WErepresent truth, freedom, democracy, equality, and allthe great ideals of a democratic government .


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NOT everything that results from the freedomsprotected by democracy are good, but thats the

CHANCE we take when we guarantee freedom .Likewise GOD gave us all FREE WILL and thereby thechance is always there that evil rather than good willresult. And we see and hear about evil every day, mostof it extreme examples of murder and adulterythestuff we read about in the news. But there are otherLESS OBVIOUS evils that are pervasive as well.

In my own nuclear family I am constantly aware of gossip and innuendo aimed at me to make me feel badand make people think bad of me. My sister, Sissy Julie,is an expert at this sort of highbrow innuendo that doesdamage to a personand she does it to deflect the truthfrom herselfshe is projecting her own weaknesses onto othersprimarily me. Its very upsetting when I

think about it, so I try not to think about it.

I was also not happy that my dad effectively blocked mefrom continuing my 10 th floor presence at the CrystalCathedral after having set up Mustard Seed Ministriesright therethats where it all began. I realizedsomewhere along the way that we were NOT completelyon the same sideeven though I wholeheartedlysupported his CARE & KINDNESS conference, andhave also financially given to the Crystal Cathedral.

It also is SMALL of him given the generosity so manyothers have shown to him along the way helping him to


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get his career going as a CRC PASTOR. He has beenshown more charity than anybody I knowfrom theIOWA CITY days to Grand Rapids and out here to

Southern California. But yet part of him likes to think he did it all by the bootstraps as they say. He likes tobelieve he accomplished the American Dream as apastor because he worked so hard.

Nobody has WORKED SO HARD, or nobody hasworked hard enough. We are all sinners as well asPRODUCTS OF GRACE AND GRACIOUSNESS,including my dad, Jim Kok, as well as missionary RayBrinks and his son Steve, and also, of course, PaulBergsma.

I myself, despite working harder and longer than mostpeople, and despite having the least material gains toshow for it, am nonetheless ALSO a product of grace &

graciousness. None of us can do too much let aloneenough. We cannot EARN it. Its an illusion or adelusion.

However, some people have and deserve more powerthan others because we entrust them with greaterwisdom and a higher capacity for making judicialdecisions. This does NOT necessarily mean it is thecourt or court officers upon whom we rely. Sometimes itis, but other times we turn to preachers, pastors,teachers, community leaders, and of course, thepresident of the USA as well as presidents anddignitaries of other countries as well.


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TOGETHER the wisdom is collective and for the betterand leads to that which is for the GREATER GOOD.

And so we must PRAY for the individuals who makedecisions that add to the collective wisdom, and someindividuals have GREATER WEIGHT in thatcollection than others.

But thats what makes DEMOCRACY so greatbutalso education so important. To become HEARD andknown AND to add to the collective wisdom it HELPSto be able to read, write, speak, and communicate incommonly accepted ways. BUT even if you cannot dothatyou STILL HAVE A VOICEthru prayer.EVEN a mute person can pray

Anyone who speaks in a tongue does not speak to menbut to God. Indeed, no one understands him; he utters

mysteries with his spirit1 Cor 14:2

And THRU GOD can be heard in ways we might notrealize or understand. YOU COUNT, no matter what !In fact, perhaps some of those WITHOUT A TONGUEare more wise than those with. Consider the following:

Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on

fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole


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person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and isitself set on fire by hell .

James 3:5-6

Having a TONGUE is as much of a potential burden asit is a blessing. And so we must carefully weigh thewords we speak. The biggest blessing we have with ourtongues is to be able to BLESS AND PRAISE THELORD :

every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,to the glory of God the Father.

Phil 2:11

There are times when I get so angry within myself aboutthe way things are, and I swear it is because of CORRUPTION and the dirty deeds of people and Iwant to take justice in to my own hands BUT I DONT !

What stops me ? ONLY ONE THING. It is thewillingness to admit that I cant see everything GODSEES and TO HOPE that somehow in the greaterscheme of things GODs PROVIDENCE is at work andwill prevail in the next chapter of the book or if not inthe next chapter then in the sequel.

I still RUMINATE about how poorly I was treatedwhen I was at FULLER SEMINARY and had anincident with the Pasadena Police which led to me suingthem and taking THEM to court. I was the plaintiff.They were the defendant. And during that chapteranother incident occurred which caused me to become


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all the more discouragedBUT despite that courage inthe soil there was still another seeda MUSTARDSEED OF FAITH & HOPE that kept me from despair.

Discouragement is not the same as despair.Discouragement is temporary anger or frustration, butdoes NOT envelope the entire being in believing that allis futility. If such were the case I would be in a totalstate of DESPAIR, and so far I have never gotten to thatpoint, PRAISE THE LORD !

AND there are times I ruminate about theINJUSTICES that occurred while I was growing up inWest Michigan and things that made me angry andfrustrated and discouraged, and despite this I did NOTDESPAIR. I still have righteous indignation aboutthings that took place and still write letters andcomment about things but I am WILLING to wait forGODs next chapter or sequel and will allow GODS

providence to prevail.

Does this mean we should NEVER lift a hand tointervene or take justice in our own hand eitherindividually or collectively ? In seminary they teachabout just war and when , by an ethical standard, itmay be right to go to war. In fact at an individual level

at a point of self-defense or defending others it maybe right also. And I have employed some forms of self-defense in this regard as well.


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In that respect, sometimes when your character is beingviciously and wrongly attacked you could argue froman ethical standpoint that self-defense is justified.

The more I PRAY and reflect on GODS goodness andattempt to do GOOD THINGS in the name of GOD whether it be passing out tracts that talk about JESUSand the HOPE he givesmost recently tracts in theCHINESE language around CHINATOWN and someof the ASIAN areas of MONTEREY PARK &ALHAMBRA (CA) the GREATER realization of GODS will I EXPERIENCE---its these EPIPHANIESthat raise my consciousness to a new level and take meto a higher level of faith.

I had such an epiphany a few months ago as I wasstanding on the edge of the 405 freeway northboundwaiting for my car to cool down. Its been having

radiator problems for a while nowand Ive survivedby constantly refilling the radiator with water until Ican get a new water pump installed. I was standing onthe edge of the freeway with cars rushing past likeSouthern California speed demons and I felt aCOMPLETE CALM and feeling of PEACE. Ive beenstuck on the side of the freeway before and the feeling isanything BUT calm and peace. This time, for somereason, I felt okayperhaps it was the backup plan Ihave in mindmy WALK ACROSS AMERICA that isstill in the playbookand my belief that if NEED BE if all else failsif my car breaks down to such a pointthat it becomes irreparable from a financial point of


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viewthat I will give it away to charity and STARTWALKING.

IN FACT there are times when Ive even thoughtwouldnt it be nice if such would happenBUT I willnot personally try to make it happen. I will keep itrunning to the best of my ability until it simply happensdue to wear & tear. Likewise, I will keep substituteteachingeven though sometimes it is against all odds

until that time where I am getting absolutely no callsat all or the level of persecution in the public schoolsgets to an intolerable level.

YES my friends I get regularly persecuted in the publicschools and most of my days in the classroom are notvery fun nor edifyingever since the first day I taughtas a regular teacher at COACHELLA VALLEY HIGH.I get regularly and wrongly looked down upon as a

privileged white boy who only knows Englishthe sameway Steve Brinks wrongly stereotyped meknowingnothing about me.

Things they dont know about me: the years doing apaper route seven days a week not by carbut by foot,rain, shine, or snow ! Shoveling snow. Snowblowingsnow. Learning Spanishtwo years in high school anda semester in Spain. Paying back student loans fromcollegesomething Steve Brinks didnt have to dobecause he got some sort of deal due to being aminority even though he isnt. The years practicingand playing baseballsounds funbut its also work.


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Same thing for football. I didnt see that on SteveBrinks resume. What do missionary kids do whilegrowing up abroad ? My observation is that they do

NOT have it too rough as American kids in foreigncountries. But dont ask the missionary kids or familiesthat questionbecause their job is to convince you itsnot too nice and therefore we should give them moremoney.

Other things they dont hear about is the persecutionPASTORS KIDS experience from the kids of Christianparents who attend church but hold regular jobs. A lotof these parents only grudgingly respect the pastor andgrudgingly give to the church. And whatever respect orlack of they have towards the pastor is likely to be thesame feelings of their kids. Kids imitate parents andtheir viewpoints for much of their growing years if onlyfor the sake of peace and harmony in the house. So if a

parent doesnt like the pastor or thinks the pastor is ajerkoff the kids will probably think likewise towardsthe pastor and/or the pastors kids.

That explains the comment of Rick Devries, the son of our Christian high school janitor, George Devries, inan ALL-TOO-OBVIOUS ATTACK ANDREVELATION OF his thoughts and/or the thoughts of his father towards me and/or my family when he HITme in the head with his hand and called me a major

jerkoff at a high school football game. And thatexplains why STEVE BRINKS slowly turned against


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meafter being roommates with Rick Devries at NotreDamewhile they both were studying economics at thegraduate level. I can RUMINATE on the unfairness of

these things. I can wonder why GOD would just happento PAIR UP Rick Devries (my eternal enemy) withSteve Brinks (who originally was my friend) and whyGOD would allow Rick Devries to POISON the mind of Steve Brinks against me, BUT was it GOD ATWORK ?! Or was it, in fact, Satan trying to get me toturn against GOD ?

And I can RUMINATE why GOD would allow AudreyVanOen to pretend to be my friend as she paired upand eventually married Eric Kooyerand WHY theywould go to such a pretense OF being friends when theywere not BUT again it would not do me any good because IT might, in fact, NOT, be GOD at work, butrather, SATAN.

And I can ruminate on WHY certain people wouldinterfere with relationships I was working onsuch asmy relationship with BARB WIERSMA (interferedwith by Kevin Vredeveld) or my relationship with AmyJonkers (interfered with by my Aunt Martha VanGenderen) but would it do any good ? Maybe it wasSATAN working thru them . And maybe I have to waitfor the next chapter or sequel.

The one thing I DO have a right to request or expect isthat these people do NOT kill mephysically oremotionally ! I have the right, by law, to NOT be


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slandered or libeled or cheated or have somethingspoken of me that will make people falsely think bad of me. Yet that has already happened.

And I am now in a tentative time of lifewith anotherrelationshipone that is less romantic than theothers I mention above. This is my relationship, or lack of, with the LAUSDand my eleven years as asubstitute teacher. Its a nebulous relationship, and maybe coming to an end. Its their decision whether to callme or notwhether to give me assignments or not.They know my education. They know my commitment.They know my capabilities, but at some point peoplebecome political and the welfare of the studentsbecomes less compelling to them than the welfare of themselves. And in some places if you are TOO GOODthey dont want you. Why? Because it makes them look bad and threatens their own livelihood. I can only hope

that they dont go so far as to libel or slander me inorder to get me out of their way. I hope, instead, thatthey will simply stop calling. And when that happens Iwill START WALKINGEVEN IF MY CAR ISSTILL RUNNING.

I WILL walk and tell the GOOD NEWS and keepwalking and keep telling until I cannot walk anymore.Sure, I want the American dreamthe pretty wife andnice home like anybody else, but there are times whenyou realize the ODDS are stacked against it becausethere are ruthless and petty people guarding againstthat ever happening. These are also SICK people AND


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they inhabit various levels of leadershipin churches,in schools, in school districts, in seminaries, even inyour own family--YOU NAME ITthey already got an

AGENDA of their ownas well as alliesand YOUR NAME & MY NAME is NOT on that agenda.[Its NOT FAIR and its NOT RIGHT and sometimes itsdownright damn frustrating but dont let it take you tothe point of DESPAIR. Their reward is now. Ourreward is in heaven ! Ruminate on thatwith HOPE inthe inner beingChrist is the light !

They preach a watered down word that is only for theirown benefit and safekeeping. We Preach forETERNITY and for the KINGDOM and to set peoplefree ! We have the KEY to their freedom if they wouldlisten but they will NOT. And NOT only will they NOTlisten but they might want to kill you and I the

keyholders, just like they killed JESUS CHRISTtheonly man that could set them free.We are the BODY OFCHRIST NOW and it shouldnt surprise us that theywill want to kill us too. Just remember, OUR REWARDIS IN HEAVEN, not here. Amen

Vander KOK JOHN THE EVANGELIST FOR CHRIST

they wanted to kill the only person who could set them free by vanderkok

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