Parent & Family Magazine Volume 2/ Issue 3

The TCU Parent & Family Magazine is a publication from

Student Development Services in the Division of Student Affairs at

Texas Christian University.

2901 Stadium Drive Brown-Lupton University Union

Suite 2003 Fort Worth, TX 76129

www.parents.tcu.eduparents@tcu.edu

817-257-7855

TCU Mission:To educate individuals to think and act as ethical leaders and

responsible citizens in the global community.

TCU Vision:To be a world-class, values-centered

university.

Connect with TCU news, social media, photos, and more at www.newsevents.tcu.edu

February 2015

Contents:

Kay’s ColumnA Message from the Director of Parent & Family Programs

TCU Parents Career Network

Internship Scholarship Program

Greetings from Chancellor Victor J. Boschini, Jr.

Shattering Norms: The Power of Bystander Intervention

Your Student, Transitioning Through College

Parent & Family Magazine

Greetings!

2015 has flown by! Much has happened and there is more to come! In this issue of the TCU Parent Magazine you will find lots of helpful information.

I invite you to read the letter from Lisa and Dan Grable about the TCU Parents Career Network. This network was established for the sole reason to help develop more contacts for internships and post-graduation employment opportunities. Your willingness to click on the link and provide some valuable information will aid TCU in providing all the resources necessary for your student to receive appropriate internships and to be well-prepared when interviewing for that first position out of college.

Across the page you will find cutting-edge information that TCU is using to help prepare your sons and daughters for life after college: Scholarships for Unpaid Internships! In a perfect world, every internship would come with a hefty paycheck. Some of the best learning experiences for students are for volunteer workers only. Sadly, many of our students cannot accept the best position if there is not some income associated with it. Now in the third year at TCU, there is money for unpaid internships. If your student is seeking one of those positions, read the information and then send your son/daughter running to the Center for Career & Professional Development!

At the beginning of the spring semester, Chancellor Boschini sent a greeting to the campus community. There is exciting information inside. I am confident that you will enjoy it!

Bystander Training: What is it? Tiara Nugent has written a very informative article about a new initiative helping individuals interrupt a potentially harmful situation. It can be a

powerful way to stop dangers such as sexual violence, discrimination, and high-risk binge-drinking. Training on-campus began this month and will continue into next year.

As always, our transitions directors have provided excellent targeted information for/about your TCU students.

Wherever you are, the winter blast is certainly more than it is here. However, if you are coming this way, check the weather! On the 37° day following a 70° or 79 ° day, I often see students in wind shorts, sleeveless shirts, and sandals looking STUNNED that they are cold! That’s Texas. Motto: Be prepared.

Go Frogs!

Kay Higgins, Ph.D.Associate Dean of Student DevelopmentDirector of Parent & Family Programs

Dear Fellow Parent,

You can help our students with their career development. Think about all the people you know and your career experience. Imagine how much impact sharing your insights and contacts can be to our daughters and sons as they prepare for their careers!

Recently, the TCU Center for Career & Professional Development asked the TCU Parent Council for help. The results: parent introductions led to new company contacts and new job postings on FrogJobs. Plus, parents volunteered to assist with interview practice and serve as mentors to students. Additionally, the Career Center introduced the parent-owned resource, internships.com, to students.

We know, with your help, we can continue to do so much more to expand the opportunities available across the nation to our students.

We’re asking you to complete a short information form at www.careers.tcu.edu/families/. There, you can share contacts at companies or organizations who may hire TCU students for internships or full time positions, volunteer your time as a mentor, or participate in mock or informational interviews.

Together, we can make the world a little more purple!

Warm regards,Lisa and Dan GrableParents of Ryan ’15 and Blake ‘17TCU Parent Council members

P.S. Don’t forget to encourage your student to attend career events on campus to meet prospective employers for internships and full time positions (www.careers.tcu.edu). Never underestimate the power of a phone call from Mom or Dad!

A Message from the Chancellor

All video material is available here: http://www.chancellor.tcu.edu/greetings/spring2015/default.asp

SHATTERING NORMS: THE POWER OF BYSTANDER INTERVENTION By Tiara Nugent, Program Director TCU’s The Bottom Line

If your student came home one Saturday night to witness someone making sexual advances in the hallway on a classmate who was clearly under the influence of alcohol, would he or she intervene?

If your student was celebrating the birthday of a fraternity or sorority brother or sister and noticed an already intoxicated friend preparing to tip back another shot, would he or she interpose?

If you knew that national data reports four in five college students consume alcohol, nearly half of those students consume alcohol through binge drinking, and every year 690,000 college students in the U.S. are assaulted by someone under the influence of alcohol… well, what are you doing?

These scenarios paint the essence of a social science prevention model called bystander intervention. It is a theory based on the premise that people make decisions and carry on behaviors based on cultural norms and the reactions received by others. It delivers the power to change a culture directly into your everyday life.

WHAT IS BYSTANDER INTERVENTION?Simply put, bystander intervention is when an individual interrupts a potentially harmful situation. It is about much more than reacting to immediate physical danger, however. Bystander intervention also includes stopping actions or comments that rationalize, promote or joke about dangers such as sexual violence, discrimination, and high-risk binge-drinking. At its core, bystander intervention involves challenging the societal norms that make harmful words or actions acceptable.

Let’s take a look at a couple examples. Bystander intervention could look like a student calling out a rape joke made before class or leaving a comment on a Yik Yak (the latest hip social media outlet) post making light of prescription drug misuse and explaining why the post is inappropriate. It could also look like anyone voicing disappointment in American pop culture for poking fun at risky behaviors such as binge drinking. Take the hit blockbuster series “The Hangover”: ”Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms make a great comedy team but it’s shame their humor revolved around a behavior that takes the lives of thousands of Americans every year.”

WHY DO MANY BYSTANDERS NOT INTERVENE? It might seem tough to imagine help doesn’t arise often enough in moments of crisis. We all like to think we would nobly halt harm and boldly articulate what is right but research shows most people tend to struggle with the decision to get involved.

Many bystanders get caught up in an internal debate over whether helping out is their responsibility. Others worry about misjudging an unclear situation and consequentially embarrassing themselves. Another major obstacle to intervention is a phenomenon called “diffusion of responsibility.” If several people are witnessing the questionable situation, all individuals present are much less likely to step up and help out because each believes someone else from the group will. And, in still other cases, the bystander believes the victim is in some way responsible for the situation and is now receiving what should have been expected.

SO HOW CAN I HELP? There might be some geography between the two of you now, but as a parent you are still the most important and trusted influence in your student’s life. Keep communication lines open on sticky situations they might face out on their own, encourage the development of personal values and discuss any barriers or concerns that may discourage

intervention.

Talking through possible scenarios could also help your student feel more comfortable and confident to intervene should the need arise. Advise your student to be calm, firm and direct if the intervention is verbal or online. Give examples of how he/she might engage other bystanders (perhaps, in a case of possible alcohol poisoning, sending one person to call for help while he/she stays with the friend in crisis). And finally, remind your student interventions addressing immediate possible harm do not have to transpire as direct confrontation. Perhaps he/she can create a diversion to swiftly dissolve the situation by “accidentally” spilling a drink on the potential aggressor or a friend who has had enough but is still reluctant to leave the bar.

Each of us is a bystander any time we’re in the presence of other individuals. With our words we can promote positive, healthy attitudes and behaviors or silently endorse potentially harmful ones. We – together with our students - can thwart sexual assault, abuse and misuse of alcohol, bullying and concerns about suicide, depression and eating disorders. We can no longer be mere bystanders.

Everyone has a role in prevention. Use your power. Use your voice. Change a life. Change our campus.

Your Student, Transitioning Through CollegeStudent Development in the First & Middle years at TCU

Class of 2018 The First–Year Experience We spend February focused on developing multicultural awareness. For many students, their first year means getting to learn from more people who look, think, act, or believe differently from them than ever before. This is a good thing.

Practically, college graduates are asked to work in a world that is more diverse and globally connected than ever before. In order to succeed they need to have the skills to interact with a wide range of people, exhibit a good deal of cultural sensitivity, and be able to understand perspectives different from their own.

Educationally, the more time students spend interacting with people who are different from them, the deeper their critical thinking skills become. That’s right – students who spend time with people different from them in college actually wind up smarter and more successful than those who don’t.

Help your students capitalize on this opportunity to deepen their learning. Encourage them to go to an event put on by a group they’re not a part of, or spend time getting to know someone new in their residence hall. Make sure they don’t miss this chance to deepen those important skills.

Class of 2017 & 2016The Sophomore & Junior–Year Experience Spring semester is a time for both sophomore and juniors to take some important steps towards their future.

For Sophomores, there’s an increasing sense of urgency about choosing a major and vocational choice. They have now been at college long enough to explore what’s out there, but the time for making choices regarding one’s direction is now. Encourage your student, if he/she hasn’t already, to focus his/her attention on an increasingly narrow range of options regarding an academic major. If your student seems adrift and hasn’t visited with a Career Services staff member, encourage him/her to do so. For more information, visit www.careers.tcu.edu. Also, the spring semester of the Sophomore year is a perfect time to make plans to study abroad. Many students who take advantage of this opportunity do so in their third year. Now’s the time to make plans. Visit www.studyabroad.tcu.edu

It’s an exciting time for juniors, as well and the spring brings two important opportunities for them. Lunch Roulette is a program currently just for juniors that matches them with faculty and staff of similar interests for a one-on-one lunch. Each partner is given developmental conversation starters that guide the student to learn about the faculty or staff member’s path in choosing a major, graduate school, career

path, research, and how they juggle a full life. Research shows that developing a mentoring relationship is a great way to develop and improve communication and interpersonal skills as well as potentially learning about skills related to shared interests between the partners. Juniors also have an opportunity to apply for the Mission Statement Scholarship this semester. The MSS rewards 3 deserving students with a $2000 scholarship for their reflections on how they live the TCU mission statement. Students should watch their email and campus advertisements this spring for more information.

John Mark Day, M.A., M.S., Director of the First Year Expereince, Student Development Services

Keri Cyr, M.Ed., Associate Director of the Sophomore & Junior Year Experience, Student Development Services

Class of 2015The Senior Year Experience

Preparing for the Boomerang Graduate

Many graduates will “boomerang,” or return to live with parents. There is a wide range of data, some of it seemingly conflicting, but it is clear that the current generation of college graduates is in a growing trend that makes them much more likely to boomerang than previous generations. One of the more conservative numbers comes from the Pew Research Center, which says that in 2011 45% of college graduates age 18-24 were living with parents. This observation is only part of a larger picture, revealed by a Gallup poll showing that 51% of people age 18-23 were living with parents in 2012. Recently, the New York Life Insurance Company reported that 56% of men and 43% of women between 18 and 24 are living with parents. Some

Chuck Dunning, M.A., Director of the Senior Experience, Student Development Services

estimates for the coming generation of graduates reach as high 60-85% expecting to boomerang.

Surely many seniors and their families are aware that a return home will happen for them. For some families this is an eagerly awaited reunion, for others it is cautiously welcomed, and for others it is dreaded. Even within the same family, different members can have very different feelings and expectations about the boomerang experience. In any case, it makes sense for everyone to carefully consider the various factors in this transition and how they can work together to support progress toward each other’s goals. The following points, adapted from the College Parents of America, can help seniors and their families make the best of the boomerang experience.

• Realize that this experience is common to many families, as shown by the data above.

• Keep in mind that it can be challenging for everyone – the graduate, parents, siblings – and that the challenges can be different from one family member to another.

• Consider how it might also be a rewarding experience for everyone, and in many different ways.

• Recognize and respect all adults in the family as adults.

• Discuss these questions in depth together:

• Is there an end-date for this arrangement? If you don’t want to set a specific end-date, at least set a date when you will sit down again and reevaluate the situation.

• Will the new graduate be expected to contribute financially?

• Will the graduate be expected to contribute to the family in other ways? Help with meals, do laundry, take out trash, clean the bathroom?

• What are the house rules about staying out, having guests, throwing parties, etc? Everyone should be prepared for some negotiation.

• Will parents be helping the graduate with finances, like loan payments, car payments, and insurance? Is there an expectation for repayment? If so, what is the plan?

• What are everyone’s expectations about the graduate finding a job and/or going into further education?

If your family is expecting the boomerang experience, start taking these steps now, well before graduation, and together you will make a happier, healthier, and more mutually supportive transition.

Texas Christian University2800 South University Drive Fort Worth, TX 76129

www.tcu.edu

Our Mission: To educate individuals to think and act as ethical leaders and

responsible citizens in the global community.