Books To Help With Bullying

Sherry R. Spier

Bullying is aggressive behavior that isintentional and that involves an imbalance of power or strength. Typically, it is repeated over time. A child who is being bullied has a hard time defending himself or herself. Bullying can take many forms, such as hitting or punching (physical bullying); teasing or name-calling (verbal bullying); intimidation using gestures or social exclusion (nonverbal bullying or emotional bullying); and sending insulting messages by e-mail (cyberbullying).

What is bullying?

Studies show that between 15–25 percent of U.S. students are bullied with some frequency (“sometimes or more often”) while 15–20 percent report that they bully others with some frequency (Melton et al., 1998; Nansel et al., 2001).

Recent statistics show that although school violence has declined 4 percent during the past several years, the incidence of behaviors such as bullying has increased by 5 percent between 1999 and 2001 (U.S. Dept. of Ed., 2002).

Prevalence of Bullying

•Bullying has been identified as a major concern by schools across the U.S. (NEA3, 2003).•In surveys of third through eighth graders in 14 Massachusetts schools, nearly half who had been frequently bullied reported that the bullying had lasted six months or longer (Mullin-Rindler, 2003).•Research indicates that children with disabilities or special needs may be at a higher risk of being bullied than other children (see Rigby, 2002, for review).(http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/adults/tip-sheets/tip-sheet-09.aspx)

Prevalence of Bullying

Books that can be used

with StudentsSummary and discussion

ideas

•Six easy steps to success, if losing your friends is your goal. You can: never smile or share; be a bully and a poor sport; perfect your tattling; and whine your way into having no friends to bother you. That means you can eat your plate of cookies all by yourself!

•reverse etiquette book

•Each "rule" offers specific examples and is illustrated with brightly colored pictures.

Discussion starter: What are rules for being a good friend?

•Sammy, self-proclaimed ``King of the Playground,'' will not let Kevin play on the swings, slide, or monkey bars. Fortunately, Kevin's father, who believes that words are stronger than fists, subtly suggests ways to best the bully, and a friendship between the two boys begins.

•Each day Kevin presents himself at the playground, only to be ousted by Sammy's threats (``...he'll dig a hole so deep I'll never get out''); each day Dad mildly points out that Sammy's fierce notions are impractical (``And what would you be doing while Sammy was tying you up? Just sitting there?''), helping Kevin to realize that he's not helpless (``...while Sammy was nailing one door shut, we could walk out the other''). Finally, Kevin gets up his courage and counters Sammy's threats with an imaginative--and logical--verbal exchange. Then, to Sammy's ultimate outlandish threat, Kevin says simply, ``Try it''--and the two settle down to play in the sandbox together.

Discussion starter: Who can you turn to for help?

•The fears, worries, and questions surrounding this upsetting experience are made accessible to young children.

•This approachable picture book explores the difficult issue of bullying among children. It helps kids accept the normal fears and worries that accompany bullying, and suggests ways to resolve this upsetting experience.

•This book's no-nonsense approach is simple and straightforward. It explains exactly what bullying is, why it may happen and what victims can do to protect themselves. The focus here is on feelings, because 'bullies only pick on people they know they can hurt.' A child's best defense is self-esteem that develops naturally when a child feels loved by family and friends. Cartoon-style drawings present uncomplicated scenarios that can be easily understood

Discussion starter: What can you do if you see someone picking picked on?

•When Sister Bear gets beaten up by Tuffy, the new cub in town, Brother huffs off to set this bully straight.  But he's in for a surprise—Tuffy's a little girl, and Brother just can't bring himself to fight her.  

•This book provides good insight into why someone bullies exhibit specific behaviors.

Discussion starter: Is hitting the right way to deal with a bully? What are other ways to deal with a bully?

•"Nobody likes to think about it, even though we know it is not okay to hurt a person”

•The spare text allows children to acknowledge their feelings of powerlessness in the presence of a bully, even if they are not the focus of the intimidating behavior. A nameless protagonist serves as a spokesman for all of his classmates who don't know what to do, finally seeking help from his teacher when bullies plan to attack his friend.

Discussion Starter: Have you ever stood by while you saw someone being bullying? Is it tattling if you tell an adult about this situation?

•The text/lyrics focus on the ridicule suffered by a boy with glasses, a girl who wears braces and a wheelchair-bound child, among others, ultimately uniting the voices of the bullied in the verse "Don't laugh at me./ Don't call me names./ Don't get your pleasure from my pain./ In God's eyes we're all the same."

•Muted colors and crowd scenes to set off the ostracized subject; the boy "chosen last" on the playground becomes a shadowy outline under a basketball hoop as smiling kids crowd the foreground; a kid "slower than the others in my class" peers out of a sea of raised hands.

Discussion starter: Have you ever called someone a name? What names have you heard others called?

•Life was good, until Jeremy Ross moved into the neighborhood and became enemy number one. Fortunately for this young boy, his dad knows just how to handle enemies...an old secret recipe, Enemy Pie. And while dad does the cooking, our young man must do his part, the hardest part. He has to spend the entire day, being nice and playing with Jeremy.

•Mr. Munson artfully points out that enemies (not just childhood enemies) are more likely friends you just don't know yet.

•This is a clever tale with an effective message about how to handle relationships and conflict.

Discussion Starter: What is the recipe to a good friendship?

•Meet Molly Lou Melon: she's "just taller than her dog," with "buck teeth that stuck out so far, she could stack pennies on them," and a voice that brings to mind "a bullfrog being squeezed by a boa constrictor." She also possesses huge insect-like eyes.

•When Molly Lou's family moves, and she encounters the school bully, Ronald Durkin, she remembers her grandmother's advice. When he calls her "SHRIMPO!" she beats him at football and, full of self-confidence, meets his other taunts with an astounding array of talents.

•I think all of us have been picked on or criticized at some point in our lives, and it is our reaction to that criticism that measures our pride and determines how we are perceived by others. Molly Lou Melon showed her friends that she was very proud of who she was and could do anything she put her mind to.

Discussion starter: What are words of advice you could give someone if they are being bullied?

•Mean Jean is the playground bully ("she pushed kids and smooshed kids, / lollapalooshed kids, / hammered 'em, slammered 'em, / kitz and kajammer 'em"). No one can stand up to her, until new kid Katie Sue arrives. Freckled, bespectacled, pig-tailed Katie Sue asks the bully to jump rope and be her friend and everything changes.

•Kids know that schoolyard power games aren't that easily solved, but they'll enjoy seeing the bully as needy, and they will recognize how everything can suddenly shift.

•Rendered in collage and acrylics in vibrant shades of fuchsia, lime green, and azure blue, the illustrations showcase Mean Jean as an over-the-top cartoon character who is frenetic and effervescent. The text effectively dips, swirls, and slants around the action of the art, further marrying the two.

Discussion starter: Why do you think kids did not stand up to Mean Jean? Have you ever been afraid to stand up to someone?

•Two ducks watch over their five eggs, four of which hatch at the same time. Mother Duck tells Father Duck that the fifth one will hatch "in its own time." Eventually, the shell cracks and tiny Ruby enters the world. She tackles all tasks at her own pace, including eating and swimming. However, when it comes time for the siblings to stretch their wings, Ruby soars the farthest and highest.

•This charming book celebrates an individual's determination and sense of self.

•This book is important for children to hear because it teaches them they all possess certain characteristics and these are the characteristics that make them individuals. Just because someone else can do something and they can’t doesn’t mean they are less of a person.

Discussion starter: What characteristics do you have that make you unique?

•How does a child handle teasing when the laughter stops and hurt feelings begin? This is exactly what D.J. must face when his friend Vince takes teasing too far.

•This frank and plausible story will help youngsters to distinguish between good-natured teasing and the destructive variety, empowering them by providing options they can use when faced with bullying.

•The story offers a realistic portrayal of a bully who uses words in hurtful ways but avoids punishment.

Discussion starter: What is the difference between teasing and bullying? Is there a difference?

•Monica and Katie have been friends since kindergarten, but lately Katie increasingly seeks to exclude and embarrass her pal in front of their classmates. Monica's despair and isolation are realistically portrayed and highlight the often-overlooked aggression between females.

•Monica's mother comes up with an excellent solution. She said to confront Katie using mental strategy; instead of stooping to retaliation, Monica might say, "Does it make you feel good to say mean things to me in front of other people?"

•a book about relational aggression

Discussion starter: When you say something not nice about someone, how does it make you feel?

Books for

Teachers and

Parents

•Staring with a bottom-line assumption that "bullying is a learned behavior," Coloroso (Parenting Through Crisis) wonderfully explains not only the ways that the bully, the bullied and the bystander are "three characters in a tragic play" but also how "the scripts can be rewritten, new roles created, the plot changed." For each of the three "characters," she breaks down the behavior that defines each role, analyzes the specific ways that each character can have their behaviors changed for the better, and suggests a range of methods that parents and educators can use to identify bullying behavior and deal with it effectively.

•The book also provides excellent insights into behaviors related to but not always recognized as bullying, such as cliques, hazing, taunting and sexual bullying.

•“This book truly helped our family understand the entire dynamic, the repercussions of inaction or inappropriate responses and what options are available to all involved in bullying. “ Jennifer Walls

•This book should be shared with administrators, teachers, and parents. It helps to provide the background information to explain the three different types of people (the bully, the bullied, and the bystander). It simplistic terms it breaks down how the cycle can be broken if these issues are stemming from a similar home situation. There is also a clear explanation about the role of schools in a child’s life and the importance of building a caring school community.

•Easing the Teasing is a crucial reference for parents and educators who want to help teasing victims acquire the coping skills necessary to manage these painful incidents. Easing the Teasing provides elementary and junior high school kids with a repertoire of strategies to deflect and discourage teasing--including positive self-talk; ignoring; visualization; reframing the tease; complimenting or agreeing with the teaser; using humor; simply saying, "So?"; and asking adults for help.

•This book discusses:The roots of teasing and why some children engage in this behavior How to talk to your child to find out why he or she is being teased The ten strategies for dealing with teasers that really work, including self-talk, ignoring, visualization, reframing the tease, disarming the teaser with a compliment, and using humor to lighten up the situation How you can work with the school and teachers to combat teasing How to help your child form healthy friendships and foster empathy and mutual support

•Parents often feel helpless when trying to help their child deal with a bullying situation. At times their advice is not right for the situation or will not work to their child’s advantage. This book

provides sound advice with simple role-playing ideas that can used effectively to deal with a teasing (bullying) situation. There are concrete examples of how to deal with the teasing and will lessen the emotional pain caused by the teasing. The anecdotes in this book help to put into perspective the reality of the situation. It is provides an example of the situations others have gone through and the tools they used to ease the discomfort and cruelty.

•A self-help guide to positive thinking, high self-esteem, and responsible personal power.

•The book's premise is that all young people can and should be taught the skills necessary to face common issues, such as making choices, liking themselves, and solving problems. Exercises guide readers through learning about their own feelings, dreams, and needs--while stressing that they are responsible for their own behavior and happiness.

•Kids learn how to build relationships, become responsible, manage their anger, grow a “feelings vocabulary,” make good choices, solve problems, set goals, and “store” happiness and pride. Questions from real kids are paired with answers about how to handle specific situations calmly, confidently, and effectively.

•It’s the ultimate resource for any kid who’s ever been picked on at school, bossed around, blamed for things he or she didn’t do, or treated unfairly—and for any kid who sometimes feels frustrated, angry, powerless, or scared.

•Though this book is written for children, it is best if shared with an adult. Teachers can use the ideas in this book to present to the class and have them complete as writing assignments. Parents can share this book with their children, and then lead open discussions about the ideas in the book.

•Bully Coach" Joel Haber, Ph.D., is one of the foremost experts in the prevention of bullying. A pioneer in the field, he has worked with thousands of kids, parents, teachers, counselors, and others to understand the root causes of the bullying dynamic-from identifying bully types to exposing the reasons why kids become bullies, targets, or bystanders-and stamp it out once and for all.

•Delivering a practical, supportive, and step-by-step "bully proofing prescription" that yields lasting results for both boys and girls, from grade school through high school.

•This book is an exceptional resource for parents and teachers. It simple terms it defines what bullying is, how you as a parent or teacher could be doing to encourage bullying, and ways to identify bullying. This book also teaches parents and teachers how to role play situations to teach bully proofing strategies and positive language usage. It also explains what you should not say to your child or student.

•The author, who visited 30 schools and talked to 300 girls, catalogues chilling and heartbreaking acts of aggression, including the silent treatment, note-passing, glaring, gossiping, ganging up, fashion police, and being nice in private/mean in public. She decodes the vocabulary of these sneak attacks, explaining, for example, three ways to parse the meaning of "I'm fat."

•Females fight with what is called "relational aggression": the silent treatment, exclusion, mean looks, rumor spreading, ganging up on a girl, manipulating relationships. In a girl's world, friendship is a weapon.

•This groundbreaking book illuminates the most pressing social issues facing girls today, including:The subtle forms of girls’ psychological aggression Definitions of popularity and the inner workings of cliques Bullying across racial and socioeconomic lines Hidden jealousy, competition and emotional abuse among close friends School attitudes toward bullying The struggle of parents to support their children

•This book is a useful guide for classroom teachers when dealing with female bullying. These behaviors do not start when they are teenagers, they start when girls are young and cannot develop into more harmful behaviors. This book provides useful strategies and discussion guides. Girls need to be taught specific skills on how to deal with these specific situations and this book helps to teach them those skills.

•Additional information: http://www.rachelsimmons.com/

"What We Know About Bullying." Stop Bullying Now. US Dept of Health and Human

     Services, 2010. Web. 3 Dec. 2010. <http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/      adults/tip-sheets/tip-sheet-09.aspx>.

Reviews from Kirkus, Publisher's Weekly, Booklist, and HornBook

Works Cited