TOPIC 4: CHILDRENIN RELATIONSHIPS

Examining how our understanding of children influences the ways we interact

and relate to them

Bill Cosby on “The Grown-Ups.”

Bill Cosby on “The Grown-Ups.”

Expanding Perspectives onADULT-CHILD

RELATIONSHIPS

(A RECAP FROM LAST TIME)

What do EXPERTS say?What do ADULTS do?

What do CHILDREN need?

What do CHILDREN need?What do ADULTS do?What do EXPERTS say?

What are some of the dominant cultural repertoires within our

culture of parenting?

BIASES IN ADULT / CHILD INTERACTIONS

Become a dominant set of cultural repertoires

Exist in schools, health care, counseling, media, culture in general...

(Lareau, 2003)

(What biases or cultural pressures do you recognize in the following film trailers?)

TRAILERS FOR...

Friends with Kids

The Odd Life of Timothy Green

We Need to Talk about Kevin

CURRENT BIASES (in mainstream American culture):

Talking with children

Developing educational interests

Taking an active role in schooling

Reasoning

Problem-solving through negotiation

Moving Toward...BETTER UNDERSTANDING

Adult-Child Interactions

4 STYLESAuthoritarian

Authoritative

Permissive

Uninvolved

3 PHILOSOPHIESTraditionalist

Maximizing Options

Present-Oriented

Warm Cool Strong

Boundaries Authoritative Authoritarian

Loose Boundaries Permissive Uninvolved

PARENTING STYLES:

AUTHORITARIANInteractions Have Clear

Boundaries

Relationship Lacks Warmth

Adult Controls Child through Fear !e.g., punishment"

PERMISSIVEInteractions Lack Boundaries

Relationship Involves Warmth

Adult does not typically attempt to control child

AUTHORITATIVEInteractions Have Clear

Boundaries

Relationship Involves Warmth

Adult Controls Child through Status !e.g., authority"

UNINVOLVEDInteractions Lack Boundaries

Relationship Lacks Warmth

Adult typically neglects child

We can also examine...PHILOSOPHIES /ORIENTATIONS

OF PARENTING

PARENTING PHILOSOPHIESTraditionalist – Emphasizes Recreating

Family History and Culture in Adults

Maximizing Options — Emphasizes Utilizing Resources to Improve Child’s

Chances as an Adult

Present-Oriented — Emphasizes Meeting Children’s Immediate Needs

Some ways how...SOCIO-ECONOMIC CLASS

CAN INFLUENCE AND DISTINGUISH PARENTING PHILOSOPHIES

(From Annette Lareau’s“Unequal Childhoods”, 2003)

CLASS BACKGROUNDS & PARENTINGMiddle/Upper-Middle Class Parents

Maximize Options

Foster Discussion

Promote Relative Equality

Control Children’s Time

CLASS BACKGROUNDS & PARENTINGWorking/Lower Class Parents

Support Traditions

Use Directives

Foster Clear Boundaries

Control Children’s Actions

What does parenting ACTUALLY involve, though?

PARENTING: “An Ethic of Care”

A parent’s work involves balancing growth while socializing children

(Sara Ruddick"

Based on this “Ethic of Care,” can we find...NEW APPROACHES

TO RELATING WITH CHILDREN?

DEMOCRATIC / INFLUENTIALPresent-Oriented

Interactions Based on Mutual Respect and Negotiation

Relationships Involve Warmth

Adult Influences Child through Empathy and Communication

IN-CLASS ACTIVITY:

ANALYZING ADULT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS

ANALYSIS QUESTIONS:1) What does [a person] know about children in

general, and in a specific situation? 2) What do they believe about children, etc.?

3) How does this knowledge belief system affect their actions/interactions with children?

(Examples with scenes fromLITTLE MISS SUNSHINE)

“Having Dinner”“Breakfast On the Road”

Grounding What We Do InCHILDREN’S NEEDS

Infants Need:1) Environmental variety

2) Predictability

3) Caretaking by adults

4) Opportunities to practice motor skills(Jerome Kagan, 1984)

Preschoolers Need (in addition):5) Opportunities to master body and

object problems

6) Receive actions, gestures, and communications that affirm worth

(Jerome Kagan, 1984)

What Should New Models of Parenting Look Like?What Should They Include?

Protection/Safety

Support/Growth

Socialization/Compliance

Communication/Empowerment

Safety & Standards

Children’sAutonomy

<->

Guiding Children

Children’s Creativity

<->

Social Accountability

Accountability to Children

<->

Preparing Children

Predicting the Future?

<->

WHY DOES ALL OF THIS MATTER?

One Example...

Children’s Creativity

(SEE ALSO: Ken Robinson on “Approaching an Unknown Future.“)

GRIT & RESILIENCE(See: Paul Tough’s work)

TRUST(e.g. The Marshmallow Study)

A Relevant Question...

IS “OBEDIENCE”THE GOAL?

“Disobedience is not an issue if obedience is not the goal.”

– Doran Quinian

Further Examples:RE-IMAGININGPLAYGROUNDS

Further Examples:RE-IMAGINING

EDUCATION

“We like to say that the child is competent but it is not enough just to declare this. If we

really want the child to be competent, we have to change time, space, roles and rules to

permit this competent child to exist.”— Carlina Rinaldi

Time, space, roles and rules

THINK ABOUT IT...What Would Your Own

Parenting Book, or Recipe for an Ideal Childhood, Look Like?

ALTERNATELY...What Would Your Ideal School, or

Mode of Education (Formal or Informal), Look Like for a Child?

HOMEWORK:* Your Own Parenting Book/Recipe for Childhood

* Relationship Map* Finish Reading Sternheimer – Readings from Part 4

(pp. 181-197, 237-246, 266-280)