John Ryan

Becoming an Effective

Influencer

AGENDA

• How good are you as an Influencer?• Traits of Brilliant Influencers• Positioning yourself for Influence• Phrases to Avoid• Free Hotel Upgrade

How Good An Influencer Are How Good An Influencer Are You?You?

SCALE 1-10 with no 51 Poor

10 A God

1-46-89-10

How Open to being Influenced How Open to being Influenced are You?are You?

SCALE 1-10 with no 51 Poor

10 A God

1-46-89-10

No.1 Principle

SIMILARITY

CautiousPreciseDeliberateQuestioningFormal

CaringEncouragingSharingPatientRelaxed

CompetitiveDemandingDeterminedStrong-willedPurposeful

SociableDynamicDemonstrativeEnthusiasticPersuasive

On your best day...

StuffyIndecisiveSuspiciousColdReserved

DocileBlandPloddingReliantStubborn

AggressiveControllingDrivingOverbearingIntolerant

ExcitableFranticIndiscreetFlamboyantHasty

On your worst day...

WEAKNESSES:• Poor listener• Can be seen as arrogant• May push too hard• Doesn’t wait for feedback

STRENGTHS:• Confident, determined• Loves challenges• Focused• Influencing others

Dominance: Strengths & Weaknesses

WEAKNESSES:• May lack focus• Too casual for some• Poor planning and follow-up• Can lose interest

STRENGTHS:• Quick to build relationships• Friendly and sociable• Adaptable, imaginative• Skillful presenter

Influence: Strengths & Weaknesses

WEAKNESSES:• Slow to adapt• May lack enthusiasm asking for a decision• Avoids rejection• Takes difficulties personally

STRENGTHS:• Builds deep, long-term

relationships• Natural listener• Sincere and warm• Persistent

Steadiness: Strengths & Weaknesses

STRENGTHS:• Knowledgeable and detailed• Air of competence• Asks probing questions• Thorough follow-up

WEAKNESSES:• Initial interaction may be difficult & stuffy

•Questions may be seen as critical & insensitive

•Overlooks others’ feelings•Focus on inconsequential details

Compliance: Strengths & Weaknesses

TRAITS OF A BRILLIANT TRAITS OF A BRILLIANT INFLUENCERINFLUENCER

ListeningNot InterruptingNot jumping in to disagreeActively trying to understand the other

person viewpointUnderstanding their beliefsShowing that you understandEmpathising

Trust• Relationship

– Talk Straight– Demonstrate Respect– Create Transparency– Right Wrongs– Show Loyalty– Deliver Results– Get Better– Confront Reality– Clarify Expectations– Practice Accountability– Listen First– Keep Commitments– Extend Trust

CREDIBILITYCREDIBILITY

Credibility QuadrantStrong Expertise

Weak Relationship

Weak Expertise

and Relationship

Weak Expertise

Strong Relationship

Strong Expertise

and Relationship

0 1 2 3 4 5

1

2

3

4

5

Weak

Weak

Strong

Strong

Relationship Credibility

Exp

ertis

e C

redi

bilit

y

Reprinted with the permission of Simon & Schuster from WINNING ‘EM OVER By Jay Conger. Copyright ©1998 by Jay CongerCopyright 1998 by Jay Conger, Winning ‘Em Over, Simon & Schuster, New York. Permission granted by Arthur Pine Associates, Inc.

Credibility Tactic GridInvestigate colleagues concerns about issues beforehandNetwork beforehand to ensure support.Involve others who have stronger relationships to persuade your case.

Persuade directly using techniques of framing, compelling positions/evidence, and emotional connection.

Network beforehand to ensure support.Involve others who have stronger relationships and expertise to persuade on your behalf.Involve outside experts and credible references to validate your position.Seek early proofs/successes/prototypes of your position beforehand as confirming evidence.

Involve outside experts to validate.Bring in externally validated evidence (e.g., market research, consultants’ reports).Create pilots/prototypes/mini-successes that prove your position.

Weak

Weak

Strong

StrongYour Relationship Reputation

Your Expertise

Reputation

Reprinted with the permission of Simon &

Schuster from WINNING ‘EM OVER

By Jay Conger. Copyright ©1998 by

Jay CongerCopyright 1998 by Jay Conger, Winning ‘Em

Over, Simon & Schuster, New York.

Permission granted by Arthur Pine Associates,

Inc.

Improving Credibility• Develop your Expertise• Product Knowledge• Industry Knowledge• Applications / Stories• Add Value

Position yourself to be more Influential“I am more influenced by people who…”

Are like me…Understand me…Agree with me…Empathise with me…Take an Interest in my world…Who Respect me and what I think…Who I trust…Who are credible…Who bring me with them rather than push me

PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!

PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!

Yeah and I suppose I should be Yeah and I suppose I should be happy with that offer, should I?happy with that offer, should I?

SarcasmSarcasm

Sarcasm• Deriving from a Greek word

meaning “to strip off the flesh,” sarcasm is caustic, cutting humour in the form of ironic praise, or speaking oppositely in order to wound

Irony• Comic irony is speaking with a veiled

meaning or an intended meaning that is opposite to or different from your words, aka dry humour. Sarcasm is a form of comic irony.

Banter• A playfully clever or teasing

conversation featuring spontaneous and usually rapid joking. Unlike sarcasm, banter is typically friendly and good humoured.

TALK STRAIGHT

MEAN WHAT YOU SAY

DON’T BE SMART

PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!

With all due respect?With all due respect?Duck…there’ll be no Duck…there’ll be no

respect comingrespect coming

That is interesting That is interesting because I would see because I would see

that differentlythat differently

IRRITATORSIRRITATORS

• To Be Honest..• To Be Brutally Honest…• Are you Serious?• I can see no point in….• That’s Irrelevant…• You Must Realise That…• That’s all very well and good but….

PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!

On the Contrary

I beg to Differ

I don’t mind telling you

YOU ARE WRONGYOU ARE WRONG

PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!

Nothing you can do or say is Nothing you can do or say is going to change my Mindgoing to change my Mind

Intransigence

PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!

Do you not think…Do you not think…

Isn’t that a rather naïve way of looking at Isn’t that a rather naïve way of looking at thatthat

LEADING QUESTIONSLEADING QUESTIONS

PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!

This is the wrong course of action

Stating Your Opinion As A Fact

In My Opinion…I Believe….I think….I Feel….

PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!

You Must…You Should….You Must…You Should….

You Ought…You Need….You Ought…You Need….

DIRECTIONAL LANGUAGEDIRECTIONAL LANGUAGE

PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!

It seems fair to me!

This is a reasonable offer!Commenting Favourably on your Own Commenting Favourably on your Own

ViewpointViewpoint

Hotel Upgrade

Free Upgrade!Free Upgrade!• Hi Can you put me through to reservations• Hi Who am I talking to..• Hi John Ryan is my name I wonder can you help…

I was looking to book a room for next Friday….is that possible?

• Connect…Weather/Busy/Accent• Leitrim is a great place• Do you mind if I ask you a question…does your

hotel ever give free upgrades?• If possible

INFLUENCINGINFLUENCING ListenListenBe Interested Be Interested & Interesting& InterestingDon’t Don’t InterruptInterruptEmpathiseEmpathiseSummariseSummariseSeek to Seek to UnderstandUnderstandAgreeAgreeMake them Make them feel good feel good about about themselvesthemselvesBuild TrustBuild Trust

Focus on Focus on WIIFMWIIFM

• ListenListen• Know MeKnow Me• Shut UpShut Up• It’s a Matter of TrustIt’s a Matter of Trust• RespectRespect• Push the ButtonsPush the Buttons• ShineShine