rantin', music 'n' sport mag
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It does exactly what it says on the tin. Yet it's not actually a tin, it's a magazine but you get what I mean.TRANSCRIPT
RANTIN’, MUSIC ‘N’ SPORT MAG
Fashion trends, they come and go but until they do fall away they fill me with such hatred, such disdain, such disappointment in our species. Strong words you may say but my point will stand valid. These shoes are an abomination on manhood, a putrid stain on a normal
guy who doesn’t want to associated with tossers and what makes it worse is that these dullards wearing these monstrosities fit into
my age demographic; 18-24.
You won’t see the 13-17 year old kids wearing these bad boys, they’re still rocking their black Topman stretch skinny jeans that
they roll up, to see their white socks. They pair this with some Nike Roshe’s. They still haven’t got facial hair, either like my age
group can proudly (patchy or even) strut about so, ‘The socks stay on, man!’
But my age group have ankle hair, not too much to cover in embarrassment but enough to be confident in their masculinity and the
hairs are of course dark enough to be noticed in the same way that if this was 1899 and Lady Wootton-Carter had her ankles out the
men would de double taking galore.
Sadly this isn’t a slender female ankle for gawping at, but an ankle that belongs to a
ball bag. The guy who thinks he’s really cool and part of a Royal family;
‘You heading off to laugh at the poor, pal?’
‘No mate, just off to Jack Wills’
‘…Of course you are…’
Hideous aren’t they? I don’t get it and maybe you do and therefore think I’m a misera-
ble git and I wouldn’t even disagree because I am.
This shoe makes you shout, ‘Hey Tom! King Charles VI called, he wants his shoes back!’ Why? Because it’s not 1396.
Why would you wear shoes with tassels on it, for peats sake? You slip on these supposedly elegant shoes over your manly size ten
feet and think, ‘Shit, I’m looking good today’. Pair these with some red hot chinos/black skinnies*, a shirt that you’ll pop open the
collar of and go to the polling station and vote Tory.
You think you’re a King because it’s what men used to wear… a long, long time ago. When men also wore wigs, makeup, tights
and heels; either go all out or go home, Rupert, I’m sick of it.
These shoes can also be paired with striped socks of the Crew Clothing kind. Nothing says, ‘I just played a game of polo but I’m
rather parched… anyone for Pimms?’ The chocolate brown tasselled shoes now are brought to life by blue and yellow striped
socks.
You think you stand out, don’t you? You probably do, but for reasons that most won’t be pleased with. You look like a
bellend. That’s right, the end of a man’s cock. Tough break, Oscar.
But you know what’s the saddest part? That all these Kings and playing polo is all a dream, as reality is of stark contrast.
It’s Friday night, 2am and you’re outside McDonalds and your name is Kevin.
For the miserable sod in us all Edition 1. May 2016.
THE ISHOE OF TODAY’S MALE FOOTWEAR Why do men persist on looking like tits?
KNOCKED LOOSE - POP CULTURE With a life that’s fundamentally fuelled by hate I get my release
through many different formats. Knocked Loose, the Knoxville hard-
core outfit are the providers, the dealers, the medicine.
Infusing hardcore with metal, Pop Culture hits hard and hits home;
the driven, heavy riffs paired with the tearing vocals that spout the
anger and animosity felt towards today’s society. Insecurities and
issues are also touched by the vocalist as he opens up to what is a
thought provoking and disheartening listen: especially when you can
relate.
With lines like; ‘All my friends have problems with their selves. We
don't talk about it, nothing helps. We tuck it deep inside, so no one
can see then we think about it later in our fucking dreams. Where are
all my friends? All my friends are dead’, ‘You are a fucking waste of
space just waiting for Hell’ and ‘I'm not straight edge, I'd just rather
be sober, I'm never looking back I'm not looking for closure. You
filled my body with hate, you can never get enough, all you ever
cared about was your stupid fucking...’
You feel his frustration, resentment and animosity. Yet this is hard-
core and they hit the nail on the head. The angst, that feeling of being
an outcast, the loneliness, the depression; society isn’t made for you
and I, but Knocked Loose speak out and are doing a damn fine job.
They’ve been recently signed to Pure Noise Records and it’s fully de-
served. Big things are to come from K//L but unfortunately there is
no sign of them hitting this side of the pond just yet but hopefully we
won’t have to wait too long. Keep your eyes and ears peeled.
www.facebook.com/KnockedLoose
Wearing sunglasses indoors.
Where to start? It makes me
so irate. You look like a cock.
You do not look cool. Why do
you wear sunglasses indoors?
Why do you wear sunglasses
when the skies are grey?
Why?!
Bono, I’m looking at you. Posh
out of touch Tories, I’m look-
ing at you. Do us all a favour,
pay your taxes and take your
shades off.
You know who wears sun-
glasses indoors? Blind people
What do you think of people who wear sunglasses, kiddo?
Knocked Loose.
DEPARTURES RELEASE DETAILS ABOUT NEW ALBUM
‘Death Touches Us, From
The Moment We Begin
To Love’ is the title of
Departures hotly antici-
pated new album target-
ing a summer release this
year.
Their last full length,
Teenage Haze was
released back in
November 2012 so the
wait for a new LP has
been a lengthy one.
The split EP, Departures /
Moose Blood with
Canterbury emo band
Moose Blood was
released a year after in
November 2013 and
featured two songs from
both bands.
But… it’s not been
enough. Sometime this
summer we will have a
new Departures album
and from the segments of
music they have made
public via their Facebook
page, it has only whetted
our appetite.
www.facebook.com/
departuresuk
www.departuresuk.bandc
amp.com
departures.bigcartel.com
Deafheaven playing Heaven in London.
DEAFHEAVEN - LIVE Seeing Deafheaven live has been one of my main focusses since my discovery
of them. Their cathartic wall of shoegaze infused black metal is unique, origi-
nal and magnificent.
New Bermuda was the main focus of the show with only a couple of songs from
Sunbather, Sunbather and Dream House. Opening with Brought To The Water
they teased with a looping intro before the barrier of sound hit the crowd. My
ears at this point were at their most vulnerable; ‘Should have brought earplugs’
was my casting thought.
Incessant blast beats and chugs opened before a barrage of tremolo gained em-
phasis accompanied by George Clarke’s snarling vocals. It was then I knew the
next hour would be exhilarating, capturing and striking. Clarke’s vocals live
were exemplary and matched his studio vocals wonderfully.
New Bermuda was played to a packed venue and what I found pleasantly sur-
prising was the amount of ‘normal’ everyday people there. A lack of leather
jacketed, long black haired metal heads while ‘ordinary folk’ were abundant;
knowing that Deafheaven have such a varied fan base was a breath of fresh air.
Once the entirety of New Bermuda was performed Deafheaven left the stage
promptly and without much notice but it wasn’t long before they made their
way back on stage for a 20 minute encore.. The aforementioned songs off Sun-
bather were what was performed and George Clarke continued with his unique
stage presence using a microphone stand the majority of the time while also
dancing in between moments of conducting the crowd, the band and himself.
Guitarists, McCoy, Mehra & bassist Clark were more stationary throughout yet
it worked.
www.deafheaven.com
Fancy having a chat?
Give us a call for
more information
about
whatever you want
to know.
Ranting Mag
47 Yorkshire Lane
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North Yorkshire
ranting
@yorkmag.co.uk
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wide web at
www.rantinmag.com
EUROPEAN FOOTBALL
Everyone loves Ukrainian football, right? Well, whatever the
answer, here’s some Shakhtar Donetsk news
Shakhtar Donetsk drew aw ay to Stal Dniprodzerzhynsk 3-
3 last weekend and it may have cost them the league. Ischenko, of
Stal Dniprodzerzhynsk, scored in the 93rd minute and his equaliser
has now created a five point gap between Shakhtar Donetsk and
Dynamo Kyiv. Dynamo have dropped five points all season (19
wins, one draw, one defeat) while Shakhtar Donetsk have dropped
ten (17 wins, two draws, two defeats) and despite Dynamo still hav-
ing to go to Shakhtar (L'viv due to the political situation) the league
title is certainly theirs to lose.
Second is most certainly Shakhtar’s and Champions League awaits
next year but the chance to win the league back from Dynamo Kyiv
and therefore be in pot one for next year’s Champions League due
to Ukraine's current UEFA coefficient ranking of eight is slim.
This means their eyes can be averted to the Europa League and
Ukrainian Cup. Shakhtar are sitting pretty in the Europa League, in
the quarter final with a 2-1 lead against Portuguese side, SC Braga
(who currently sit fourth in Liga NOS and therefore are in a Europa
League spot). Two away goals through centre back Rakits'kyy and
striker, Ferreyra have given Shakhtar a huge boost and with their
record in Ukraine, Shakhtar should see themselves into the semi-
finals and could well make the final for the first time since 2009
when they won the last edition of the UEFA Cup against Germany's
Werder Bremen in Istanbul, Turkey.
Domestically the cup is a huge chance for Shakhtar with Dynamo
Kyiv surprisingly exiting through a home defeat to newly promoted
FC Oleksandriya 1-0 (2-1 agg). This means Shakhtar play Oleksan-
driya while Zorya who sit third, play Dnipropetrovsk who are
fourth. A Shakhtar Donetsk vs. Dnipropetrovsk final is what is ex-
pected and after losing last year's final on penalties (5-4 after a 0-0)
to Dynamo Kyiv, Shakhtar will be driven.
Being runners up in both domestic competitions last year doesn't
sit well for Shakhtar and this is a chance to change that. Yes, the
league is looking slim but they're in prime position for their tenth
Ukrainian Cup and could go all the way in the Europa League. Vet-
eran fullback Darijo Srna, young talent Viktor Kovalenko, experi-
enced Ukrainians in Pyatov, Stepanenko, Rakits'kyy and Kucher,
Brazilians in Taison, Bernard, Marlos, Dentinho, Fred and co they
have the talent.
The Ukrainian Supercup was won at the start of the season but
that, of course, will not be enough. The league can wait till 2017 but
those cups... The Miners will dig for them right till the end.