part1.the person you are

8/6/2019 Part1.the Person You Are

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PART ONE

YOUR PERSONALITY

The Person You AreYour Self-IdealThe Positive YouThe Core: Your Self-Esteem


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YOUR PERSONALITY

1. The Person You Are


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W ho do you think you are?

W hat shapes and influence your personality?

How do you view yourself?

W hat do you like to become?


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D o you like yourself?

Can you reshape your personality?

D o you value yourself and haveself-worth?

W hat virtues, values and qualitiesyou most admire?Are you performing well, happy

and successful?


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Things To Ponder:

1. W hat quality do you admire most inother people? How could youdevelop this quality in yourself?

2 . Imagine that you could write your own eulogy; how would you like to beremembered and described by otherswhen you are gone?


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Perhaps the greatest breakthroughthought was the discovery that eachof us is where we are, and what we

are, because of ourselves.

W e are where we are and what we

are because of our habitualthoughts and actions .


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M en and women of great character,competence and leadership abilitiesare those who have worked on

themselves, usually for many years, tobecome the kind of people that otherslook up to, respect and admire . They

are, in every respect of the word, self-made people .


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W illiam James of Harvard once wrote,

The greatest revolution of my generationis the discovery that Individuals, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of

their lives.


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W hen we go to work on ourselves, and wepractice the behaviors that we wish toincorporate into our personality andcharacter, we change the inner attitudes of

our minds .

As a result, we change the outer aspects of

our lives. W

e take complete control of our future . W e become the very best person thatwe can imagine becoming . There are nolimits .


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The Foundation of Your Personality


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W here does your self-concept comefrom? How does it begin? How does itdevelop? W hat are the major influences that shape your self-concept and how can you changeyour self-concept once it hasdeveloped?


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These are vital questions, and thereare definite answers for them . The factis that each child is born with no self-concept at al l. Every thought, feeling,idea, opinion, belief or conviction thatyou have as an adult has been learned,starting in early infancy . You have beentaught to believe the things you believe

by the people and influences aroundyou over the course of your lifetime,especially when you were a child .


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It is true that each child is born withcertain personality characteristics,propensities, talents, leanings, and other

unique attributes and qualities.

Somepsychologists say that fully 60% of personality characteristics, such ascourage, extroversion, musical interest,sensitivity, athletic ability and so on, areinborn and innate .


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This is why children born into the samefamily, with the same parents and similar upbringing, often turn out totally different

from each other . B

ut in terms of self-concept, how a person thinks and feelsabout themselves relative to their abilityand potential, this is learned from earlyinfancy .


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Our Two Natural Qualities

W hen we are born, we come into the

world with two natural qualities.

First, weare completely unafrai d . W e are totallyfearless . W e have no reason to be afraidbecause we have had no experiences tomake us afraid .


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The second natural quality that we areborn with is that we are completelyspo ntane o u s. W e laugh, cry, pee, poop,

sleep and express ourselves with nothought or concern about whether anybody approves or disapproves . Theseare our natural qualities in a state of nature .


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As an adult, when we feel completelyrelaxed and safe, surrounded by peoplewhom we like and trust, our natural

tendency is to revert to being completelyopen and unafraid, spontaneous andexpressive . This is the ideal conditionof the completely happy, fullyfunctioning adult.


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Starting early in childhood, as the resultof the things your parents do and say,you begin to learn the two basic negative

habit patterns that then become the mostd e s tructive influence s in your life as anadult .


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The first negative habit pattern that youlearn is called the inhibitive negativehabit p attern . This is what soonbecomes the fear of failure, risk and los s .

As a child your natural urge is to exploreyour environment . You eagerly reach outto touch, taste, feel and experiment witheverything around you . B ut often your parents react and even over react to thisbehavior by discouraging you as much aspossible .


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They say, No! Get away from that! Dont touch that! Leave that alone! M any

parents reinforce their words and threatswith spankings and punishment .


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Children need love like roses need rain.

Love is as important to the developingchild as is food . Any interruption of theflow of unconditional love to the childcauses the child to feel nervous andfrightened . Psychologists say thatvirtually all adult problems are rooted in

the phenomena of love withheld in earlychildhood .


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W hen your parents become angry withyou as the result of your natural desireand drive to explore your world and your

environment, you have no way of understanding that this is because of their fear for your safety .


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Instead, as a child, you merely react andrespond with the idea that, Every time I try or touch or taste something new or different, my mother or father gets angry at me. It must be because I am incapableand incompetent. It must be because I am no good. It must be because I cant d o it.


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The Core of Your Personality

The core part of your self-concept is your self-estee m . This is the feeling or

emotional component of your personality,the reactor core of your subconsciousmind . Your level of self-esteemdetermines the vitality and energy of your personality and is the control valve onyour performance .


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M ost psychologists today agree that your level of self-esteem is the most importantpart of your personality, and largelypredicts your success or failure,

happiness or unhappiness, in every areaof your life . In fact, your self-esteem is soimportant that you tend to organize your whole life around it . Almost everythingyou do is either to gain self-esteem, or toprotect against the loss of self-esteem .


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The rule with regard to your self-esteemis that Everything Counts! Everythingthat happens to you and around youaffects your self-esteem in some way .

Everything either increases your self-esteem or lowers it .


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Everything that happens to you either supports your self-esteem or threatens it .You are like the proverbial long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Every

word or gesture of other people towardyou affects your self-esteem in someway . The preservation and developmentof your self-esteem thus becomes the keyto high performance, happiness and greatsuccess .


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Turbo-charge Your Personality

The higher your self-esteem, the faster andeasier it is for you to develop the V aluesand Habits that enable you to accomplishextraordinary things with your life . Sinceeverything you do on the outside iscontrolled by your subconscious mind, by

your current programming, as you changeyour self-concept, you change your reality .


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Your self-concept is the seat of the Laws of B elief, Expectation, Attraction andCorrespondence . Your self-concept

determines what you think about, most of the time . Your self-concept contains theroots of learned helplessness . Your self concept represents your comfort zone .


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Your main goal is to take complete controlover the evolution and development of your self-concept, and shape your personality

and your character into becoming anextraordinary person who can accomplishremarkable things .


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Take time to become absolutely clear aboutthe virtues, values, qualities and attributesthat you most admire, and which you mostaspire to make a part of your personality .

Prior to every event of importance, create aclear mental picture of yourself performingat your very best, consistent with the

highest values and qualities that you have,or desire to have .


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Especially, continually repeat the magicwords I like myself! over and over again,until they are accepted by your subconscious mind and become apermanent part of your personality . Themore you like and respect yourself, andconsider yourself to be a valuable and

important person, the faster you willdevelop every other habit, quality andattribute that you need to fulfill your fullpotential .


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Our Values Shapes Our Personality


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Our Values Shapes Our Personality

The values we choose to live by, and the way wedefine those values, shape and influence our personality and our achievements as much or more than any other single factor . W hen we take

the time to think through and develop absoluteclarity about the key values and qualities that weadmire the most, and wish the most toincorporate into ourselves, we begin to shapeand direct our whole personality and determinethe results we achieve in the future .


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As we think about our values, and reflectupon how we could incorporate them intoour life and behaviors, we become adifferent person . As a result, we attract

different people and opportunities into our life. O ur outer world soon begins to mirror our inner world . W e start to move morerapidly toward the achievement of our mostimportant goals, and our goals begin tomove rapidly toward us .


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It all begins with us takingcomplete control of theformation and development of

our personal self-ideal.


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D iscussion/Reflection and ActionSteps1. W hat quality do you admire most inother people? How could you developthis quality in yourself?2 . Imagine that you could write your own eulogy; how would you like to beremembered and described by otherswhen you are gone?


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YOUR PERSONALITY

2. Your Self-Ideal


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Things to Ponder

1. D o You have a vision for your idealfuture; if you could wave a magic wand andmake your life ideal in every way, what

would it look like?

2 . W hat would you do differently, howwould you change your life, if you had nofears at all?


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Your self-ideal is the ideal image or picture you have of yourself, as if you werealready the very best person you couldpossibly be . Your self-ideal is made up of

your wishes, hopes, dreams, goals, andfantasies about your perfect future lif e,combined with the qualities and virtues that

you admire most in yourself and in other people .


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Your self-ideal is a composite of the verybest person you could imagine yourself being, living the very best life you couldpossibly live .


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High performing, successful, happy peoplehave very clear self-ideals . They have clear ideas of what they like, respect and admire .They have clear ideals about the virtues,values and attributes of the superior menand women that they want to emulate .


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The most successful people have anuplifting, inspiring vision of what a trulyexcellent person looks like and how he or

she behaves . B ecause of the L aw of Attraction, you inevitably move in thedirection of becoming that which you mostadmire .


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The greater clarity you have withregard to the ideal future life you wantto live, and the ideal person you wantto be, the faster you will move towardbecoming that person, and the moreopportunities that will open up for youto make your ideal future vision for yourself a reality .


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D evelop Positive Role M odels

In one study conducted some years ago,the researchers found that many men andwomen who accomplished great thingslater in life had been avid readers of thebiographies and autobiographies of successful people when they were

younger .

It seems that you have a naturaltendency to identify with the hero or heroine in any story that you read, watch or hear about .


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W hen you continually immerse your mindin the stories of men and women who haveaccomplished wonderful things with their lives, you unconsciously identify with thosecharacters and actually absorb their values, virtues and qualities into your own

personality.


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D r . D avid M cClelland of Harvard, in hisbook The Achieving Society explains howrole models have an inordinate effect onshaping the character and personality of the young . O ne of his conclusions was thatthe men and women who are the mostadmired, and held up as models in societyduring the formative years of the young

person, have an inordinate influence on thecharacter and the aspirations of thatperson when he or she grows to adulthood .


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B y the same token, people who havepositive role models around them whenthey are growing up are much more likelyto become men and women of quality andcharacter as adults than young people whohave no role models, or even worse,

negative role models, as often occurstoday .


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W ith regard to the self-ideal, unhappy,unsuccessful men and women tend to bevery fuzzy or unclear about their ideals . If you ask them what they consider to be themost valuable and important qualities inhuman character and personality, they

have either unclear or contradictoryanswers .


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This lack of clarity or certainty about whatconstitutes an ideal person often causes anindividual to go around in circles in life, toassociate with negative influences andspent time with people who are equallyunclear and unfocused about the person

they want to be when they grow up.


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Imagine Your Ideal Self

W hen we speak about self-concept, we talkedabout the role of the self-ideal in shaping andforming personal character . The greater clarityyou have about the qualities that you mostadmire, and desire to incorporate into your personality, the easier it is for you to engage inthe behaviors that are consistent with thosevirtues and values . The more repeatedly youengage in those behaviors, the more youinternalize those qualities, until they become apermanent part of you .


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The starting point of character development is for you to develop the habitof long-term thinking in your work and inyour personal life . There is no area wherethis is more relevant than for you to projectto the end of your life, and to write your own eulogy, to be read at your funeral

where your friends and family aregathered .


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If you could fulfill your potential, andbecome the very best person that it ispossible for you to become, how wouldpeople think about you, talk about you andyou to others?

W hat words would they use? W hat virtues,

values and qualities would they ascribe toyou? How would you be remembered, andfor what reasons?


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Acting As If You W ere Already ThatPerson

As you develop greater clarity about howyou want to be remembered in the hearts

and minds of other people, you will becomemore clear about those values andqualities that are most important to you .You can then set those qualities as goalsfor yourself, and make plans for their accomplishment . F rom that point forward,you act as if you already had those

qualities whenever they are called for .


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Acting As If You W ere Already ThatPerson

If you wish to develop the quality of patienc e, for example, practice being

patient even when you feel pressured or ina hurry . If you wish to develop the quality of compassion, practice putting yourself in thesituation of the other person and thinking,There but for the grace of God, go I.


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This habit of projecting yourself forwardinto the distant future, and then lookingback to the present for guidance on thesteps that you should be taking each daycan have a profound impact on your life .M any years ago, the brother of Alfred

Nobel died in Stockholm .


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But the newspapers got the name wrongand instead concluded that it was Alfred

Nobel himself who had died . They thenwrote his obituary, which he read the nextday . In his obituary, the primaryaccomplishment for which he wasremembered was for the invention of

gunpowder, which had been responsiblefor the death of countless human beings inwars and conflicts around the world .


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Change Your D estiny


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This obituary had such a shocking effect onNobel that he immediately began rearranging his

entire life to change his legacy and to assure thathis obituary, when it was written, would becompletely different . To this end, he establishedthe Nobel Prizes, based on his great fortune,which are today the highest awards that can beattained in the worlds of literature, medicine,science, economics, peace and chemistry . B ythinking clearly about the legacy he wanted toleave, he transformed both his present actions,and his ultimate memory . He rewrote his ownobituary .


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To become a person of great qualityand value, you should develop the

habit of reading about and studying about other men and women whohave started with little or nothing and

who have gone on to accomplishwonderful things with their lives.


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It seems that many men and women whoachieve greatness as adults spend manyhours as children reading the biographiesand autobiographies of successful people .B ecause young people are so susceptible

to the suggestive influences of others, asthey read, they began to envision andimagine themselves having the samequalities when they grew up as the peoplethat they were reading about . And that isexactly what happened in many cases .


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Comparing Your Behavior W ith Your Ideal


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Your self-esteem is affected by many factors .O ne of the most important is the distance

between your self-image, the way you seeyourself in the momen t, and your self-ideal, theway you would ideally like to be sometime in thefuture.


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W henever you feel that your current performanceand behavior is consistent with the best person

that you can possibly be, your self-esteem goesup . You feel happier and more exhilarated . Youhave more energy and enthusiasm . You are morepositive and personable with others .


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O n the other hand, whenever your current performance or behavior seems to be inconsistent or distant

from the person that you would mostlike to be, your self-esteem goesdown . You feel anxious and unhappy .

You feel self conscious andembarrassed . You feel frustrated andangry .


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The good news is that, the greater clarity you have with regard to your self-ideal, the person you would most

like to be, the easier it is for you totailor your performance and behavior so that it is consistent with being the

kind of person you most admire.


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And every time you do or say anythingthat you feel is more consistent withthe best person you can possibly be,

your self-esteem goes up . You feelhappier and more confident . You feelmore positive and powerful . You feel

capable of doing more and better things in that area, and in other areasof your life .


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D iscussion/Reflection and Action

Steps

1. D o You have a vision for your ideal

future; if you could wave a magicwand and make your life ideal in everyway, what would it look like?

2 . W hat would you do differently, howwould you change your life, if you had

no fears at all?


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YOUR PERSONALITY

3. The Positive You


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Things To Ponder:1. W hat do You think you do best? D o

you take pride in it?2 . How do you react on adverse

circumstances?3 . Are there instances that youcompare yourself with others? Is Ithealthy to compare?4 . D o you allow others to givefeedbacks? How do you view criticismfrom others?


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Example: W hen Goliath came upagainst the Israelites, the soldiers allthought, Hes so big we can never kill him. D avid looked at the same giantand thought, Hes so big I cant miss.


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Example:W

hen you go to a shoppingmall or any public place that contains alot of cars and people, do you start atthe farthest point of the parking lot andwork your way toward the building, or drive to the front, assuming someonewill be pulling out so you can pull in?


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The individual whose attitude causeshim to approach life from an entirelypositive perspective is not alwaysunderstood . He is what some wouldcall a no-limit person . in other words,he doesnt accept the normal limitationsof life like most people . He is unwillingto accept the accepted just because itis accepted .


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His response to self-limiting conditionswill probably be a W hy? instead of an O kay . he has no limitation in his life .His gifts are not so plentiful that hecannot fail . B ut he is determined towalk to the very edge of his potential or the potential of a project before heaccepts a defeat .


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He is like the bumblebee . According toa theory of aerodynamics, asdemonstrated through the wind tunneltests, the bumblebee should be unableto fly. B ecause of the size, weight andshape of his body in relationship to thetotal wing spread, flying is scientificallyimpossible . The bumblebee, beingignorant of scientific theory, goes aheadand flies anyway and makes honeyevery day .


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This mindset allows a person to starteach day with a positive disposition,like the elevator operator on mondaymorning . The elevator was full and theman began humming a tune . O nepassenger seemed particularly irritatedby the mans mood and snapped, W hat are you so happy about? W ell,sir, replied the man happily, I aintnever lived this day before!


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Asked which of his works he wouldselect as his masterpiece, architectF rank L loyd W right, at the age of 83,replied, M y next one .


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The future not only looks bright whenthe attitude is right, but also the presentis much more enjoyable . The positiveperson understands that the journey isas enjoyable as the destination .


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Again that guy in ohio who drove for an

interstate trucking company . K nowingthe hundreds of miles he loggedweekly, was once asked how he kept

from getting extremely tired . Its all inyour attitude, he replied . Some driversgo to work in the morning but I go for

a ride in the country, That kind of positive perspective gives him the edge on life .


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Positive Self-Talk Shapes Your Personality


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One of the most important habits you candevelop is the habit of talking to yourself

positively most of the tim e . And the mostpositive words that you can use throughoutthe day, especially prior to any event of importance or significance, are the words Ilike myself! You cannot say these words to

yourself without feeling happier, especially if you repeat them emotionally andemphatically .


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Every time you say, I like myself! your self-

esteem goes up.

As your self-esteemincreases, you feel more positive andoptimistic . You become eager to set bigger goals and face greater challenges . The moreyou like yourself, the greater courage andconfidence you have . The more you likeyourself, the less your fears and doubts get

in your way or interfere with your success .


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A positive mental attitude is an absolutelyindispensable prerequisite for success . Theonly factors that determine how well a

person does or how far he goes areattitudinal . Attitudes come from our expectations about outcome . If we expectthings to turn out well, we have positiveattitudes .


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W inners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations well in advance of the event . If we make a habit of always

expecting the best out of everything we do,we have one of the keys to a successful life .


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O ne of the most powerful way to becoming apositive person is to have Positive RoleModels.


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In one study conducted some years ago, theresearchers found that many men andwomen who accomplished great things later

in life had been avid readers of thebiographies and autobiographies of successful people when they were younger .


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W hen you continually immerse your mind inthe stories of men and women who haveaccomplished wonderful things with their

lives, you unconsciously identify with thosecharacters and actually absorb their values,virtues and qualities into your own

personality.


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D r . D avid M cClelland of Harvard, in his bookThe Achieving Society explains how rolemodels have an inordinate effect on shapingthe character and personality of the young .

O ne of his conclusions was that the menand women who are the most admired, andheld up as models in society during theformative years of the young person, havean inordinate influence on the character andthe aspirations of that person when he or she grows to adulthood .


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B y the same token, young people who havepositive role models around them when theyare growing up are much more likely to

become men and women of quality andcharacter as adults than young people whohave no role models, or even worse,negative role models, as often occurs today .


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Hints for having a

positive outlook


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Positive Visualization . See yourself as thevery best in your field . Remember, allimprovement in your life begins with an

improvement in your mental pictures .Visualize yourself, see yourself as the bestcontinually . You are the best . Isn't that right?So therefore, see yourself as the best .


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Positive Self-Talk . Talk to yourself positivelyall the time . Control your inner dialogue . Andwhat do you say to yourself? Say, "I'm thebest ." Say it . Say I'm the best . I like myself . I

can do it . I love my work . Yes, that's how youtalk to yourself . And the more you say it toyourself ... someone may say, " W ell, what if you say those things to yourself and youdon't believe them . Isn't that lying toyourself?" No, that's not lying to yourself . It'stelling the truth in advance .


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Talk to yourself the way you want to be, notthe way you just happen to be at thismoment . Remember, you may have gottenwhere you are today largely by accident . B utwhere you're going in the future is purely by

design .


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Positive Action . Get going . M ove fast .D evelop a sense of urgency . A sense of urgency is the one thing that you candevelop that will separate you from

everyone else in your field . D evelop a biasfor action . W hen you get a good idea, do it

now .


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And the faster you move, the better you get . And the better you get, the more you likeyourself . And the more you like yourself, thehigher your self-esteem is . And the higher

your self-esteem is, the greater your self-discipline . And the more you persist, thenyou ultimately become unstoppable .


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O nly 2% of people in our society have a biasfor action . And if you're already in the top1 0%, you can move yourself in the top 2%by resolving that whenever you have an idea

or something, do it now .


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D iscussion/Reflection and Action Steps1. W hat do You think you do best? D o youtake pride in it?2 . How do you react on adverse

circumstances?3 . W hat area in your life or skills you want toimprove to boost your confidence?4 . D o you allow others to give feedbacks?How do you view criticism from others?

YOUR PERSONALITY


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4 .Your Self-Esteem

YOUR PERSONALITY


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Things To Ponder

1. D o You L ike Yourself?2 . D o You accept yourself unconditionally?

3 . How do you feel about Yourself?4 . How does your self esteem contribute toyour performance?


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The Best D efinition of Self-Esteem

The very best definition of self-esteem is,How much you like yourself. W hat we havefound is that, the more you like yourself, the

better you do . And the better you do, themore you like yourself . Each time youperform well in any area, your self-esteemgoes up . You like yourself more, and youperform even better in that area, and inother areas as well .


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The most powerful words you can use totake control of your personality, and to buildyour self-esteem, are the words, I likemyself! The more you repeat the words, I

like myself! to yourself, the happier andmore confident you feel, and the better andmore effectively you perform in whatever

you are doing..


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Perhaps the most powerful words in your vocabulary are the words that you say toyourself and believe . F ully 95% of your emotions are determined by the words thatare running through your mind at any given

time . And your mind is very much like avacuu m . It does not remain empty for verylong . If you do not deliberately fill your mindwith positive, constructive words, it will fill upby itself with your fears, worries andconcerns .


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To put it another way, if you do notdeliberately plant flowers in the garden of

your mind, weeds will grow automatically,with no encouragement or support .


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B rian Tracy, Author of M any books and O neof the most admired motivational speaker in

America outlines some ways of CultivatingOur Self-Esteem


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Everything that you do or say or think willaffect your self-esteem . Your job, therefore,is to keep your self-esteem high and positive

on a continuing basis.


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Your level of self-esteem is really your levelof mental fitness . Its a measure of howhealthy, hardy, and resilient you are indealing with the inevitable ups and downs of daily life . Your self-esteem determines howmuch peace of mind and inner contentmentyou experience .


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It is also closely linked to your health andlevels of energy . People with high self-esteem are seldom sick and seem to have

an inexhaustible flow of energy andenthusiasm that progressively moves themtoward their goals .


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How much you like and respect yourself alsodetermines the quality of your relationshipswith people . The more you like and enjoy

yourself, the more you will like and enjoyothers, and the more they will like you . Infact, when your self-esteem is hurt in anyway, the very first thing that is affected is theway you get along with people .


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To perform at your best and to feel terrificabout yourself, you should be in a perpetualstate of self-esteem building and

maintenance . Just as you take responsibilityfor your level of physical fitness, you need totake complete responsibility for the contentand quality of your mind .


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A simple formula have been developed thatcontains all the critical elements of self-esteem building , and you can use it on aregular basis to assure maximumperformance .

This formula is comprised of six basicelements . They are: goals, standards,

success experiences, comparison withothers, recognition, and rewards . L ets takethem one at a time .


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1. How much you like and respectyourself is directly affected by your goals .The very act of setting big, challenging goalsfor yourself and making written plans of

action to achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel muchbetter about yourself .


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2. The second element in self-esteembuilding is having clear standards andvalues to which you are committed . M enand women with high self-esteem are very

clear about what they believe in.

The higher your values and ideals are, and the morecommitted you are to living your lifeconsistent with those values and ideals, themore you will like and respect yourself, andthe higher your self-esteem will be .


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L asting self-esteem comes only when your goals and your values are congruentthatis, when they fit into each other like a handinto a glove . M uch of the stress that people

experience comes from believing one thingand trying to do another . B ut when your goals and values are in harmony with eachother, you feel a wonderful surge of energyand well-being, and thats when you start tomake real progress .

M l h th t th


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M any people he says , that they areunhappy with their job because they cantseem to achieve success no matter howhard they try . M r . Tracy always ask them if they are doing what they really care about

and believe in . In many cases, peoplerealize that they are not happy with their jobbecause it is the wrong kind of work for

them .


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O nce they change jobs and start doingsomething that they really enjoy, somethingthat is more consistent with their innermost

convictions, they start to make real progressand get a lot of satisfaction out of their work ..


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3. The third element in self-

esteem building involveshaving success experiences .


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O nce you have set your goals and

standards, it is important that you makethem measurable so that you can keepscore of your small and large successesalong the way . The very act of setting up agoal, breaking it down into smaller parts,and then completing those parts makes youfeel like a winner and causes your self-

esteem to go up ..


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B ut remember that you cant hit a target youcant see . You cant feel like a winner unlessyou clearly lay out the standards by which

you are going to measure your success andthen achieve those standards .


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Lets say that you set a goal to sell a certain

amount or earn a certain amount of incomein a given year . If you break that down intomonthly and weekly goals, and then youachieve the first of those goals, you will feelgreat about yourself . Each time you reachanother milestone, your self-esteem andability to perform will increase, and you will

feel encouraged and enthusiastic about thenext challenge .


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4 . The fourth element of self-esteem is comparison with

others


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Leon F estinger of Harvard Universityconcluded that in determining how well weare doing, we do not compare ourselveswith abstract standards, but, rather, wecompare ourselves with people we know . Tofeel like a winner, you must know for surethat you are doing as well as or better than

someone else ..


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The more you know about how well theothers in your field are doing, and the morefavorably you compare with them, the more

you will feel like a winner, and the higher your self-esteem will be .


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Successful people continually comparethemselves with other successful people .They think about them and read about them

and study their performances, and then theywork to surpass them one step at a time ..


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Eventually, successful people reach thepoint where they compete only withthemselves and with their past

accomplishments . B ut this comes after theyhave moved to the top and left many of their competitors behind .


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5 . The next element for self-

esteem is recognition of your accomplishments by people

whom you respect .


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To feel really great about yourself, you needthe recognition of people you look up to and

admire, such as your boss, your coworkers,your spouse and people in your socialcircle .


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W henever you are recognized and praisedfor any accomplishment by someone whoseopinion you hold in high regard, your self-esteem goes up, along with your eagernessand enthusiasm to do even better on the job .


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6 . The final element of self-esteem involves rewards that

are consistent with your

accomplishments. .


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You may work in a field where you receivefinancial bonuses, status symbolslarger offices, bigger carsor even plaques and

trophies for superior achievement.

All of those symbols can have an incredibleimpact on raising your self-esteem andcausing you to feel terrific about yourself ..


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W hether or not your current environment

provides the six elements of self-esteembuildinggoals, standards, successexperiences, comparison with others,

recognition, and rewardsyou need toestablish your own structure and take fullresponsibility for building yourself up on aregular basis .


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National Council for Self-Esteem People

with high self-esteem tend to significantly tobe less involved in negative behavior suchas drug and alcohol abuse, crime, child

abuse and educational failure.


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Thats how imperative it is in building our

personality, our self-esteem and having aclear self ideal with a positive outlook in lifeto be a happy and successful person.

Who do you think are You (self-image-now)and what do we/you want to have, do and become (self-ideal-future) ?

Lets rewrite our destiny

part1.the person you are

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