MOST OF THE TIME 1989 Most of the time I'm clear focused all around, Most of the time I can keep both feet on the ground I can follow the path, I can read the signs, Stay right with it, when the road unwinds, I can handle whatever I stumble upon, I don't even notice she's gone Most of the time “Most of the time / I'm clear focused all around” sometimes I am the focus, a central point and locus, of an infection “Most of the time / I can keep both feet on the ground” sometimes I cannot get back to normal “I can follow the path” sometimes I cannot follow the doctor’s orders “path” a way especially designed for a particular use “I can read the signs” and sometimes I cannot detect the tell tale signs of illness “Stay right with it” sometimes I cannot continue taking medication “when the road unwinds” when my course in life begins to unravel, disintegrate “I can handle whatever I stumble upon” sometimes I cannot manage an opportunistic infection that I come upon accidentally or unexpectedly “I don't even notice she's gone” sarcastic, sometimes I don’t even notice that my health, my immunity system, is gone “Most of the time.” “Both feet on the ground” as return to normal, Rag Time Willie “I can hear something calling on me” my desire for heroin has returned “And you know where I want to be / Oh Willie don't you hear that sound / I just want to get my feet back on the ground” I just want enough heroin so that I will not experience withdrawal symptoms, I don’t even have to get high. Most of the time It's well understood, Most of the time I wouldn't change it if I could, I can't make it all match up, I can hold my own, I can deal with the situation right down to the bone, I can survive, I can endure And I don't even think about her Most of the time. “Most of the time / It's well understood” sometimes I do not understand what has happened to me and why? “Most of the time I wouldn't change it if I could” sometimes I would give anything in the world to change my status “I can't make it all match-up” sometimes I cannot equal the virulence of the virus “I can hold my own” and I cannot get my white blood cell count up “I can deal with the situation” I cannot deal with a critical, problematic, and striking set of circumstances “right down to the bone” right down to its roots, its core, the bone marrow where blood cells are produced “I can survive, I can endure” sometimes I don’t think I am going to

make it “And I don't even think about her” sarcastic, I don’t even think about the days when I was HIV negative, it means so little to me “Most of the time.” Most of the time My head is on straight Most of the time I'm strong enough not to hate. I don't build up illusion 'till it makes me sick I ain't afraid of confusion no matter how thick I can smile in the face of mankind. Don't even remember what her lips felt like on mine Most of the time. “Most of the time / My head is on straight” sometimes my medication does not work and produces serious side effects “Most of the time I'm strong enough” sometimes I am not in good and sound enough health; robust “not to hate” not to hate the doctors who are treating me “I don't build up illusion” I kid myself that the HIV virus will somehow disappear from my body “'till it makes me sick” until it returns again and makes me sick “I ain't afraid of confusion” sometimes I am deathly afraid of the fact that the doctors often appear as if they do not know what in the world they are doing “no matter how thick” no matter how intense it might seem “I can smile in the face of mankind” sometimes I cannot approve of the race of the people who are helping to treat me “Don't even remember what her lips” I don’t even remember what her vagina Liner Notes to Desire 1976, “Furious gals with garters & smeared” pap smear “lips on bar stools that stank from sweating pussy” “felt like on mine” felt like on my penis. Most of the time She ain't even in my mind I wouldn't know her if I saw her She's that far behind. Most of the time I can't even be sure If she was ever with me Or if I was with her. “Most of the time / She ain't even in my mind” sometimes I think about what it was like to be healthy “I wouldn't know her if I saw her” and I tell myself that even if my health returned I wouldn’t recognize it “She's that far behind” because I have been suffering from the disease for so long I can’t even remember what it was like to be healthy “Most of the time I can't even be sure” sometimes I am uncertain “If she was ever with me” if health was the dominant partner in our relationship “Or if I was with her” or if I was? Adage: “If you don’t have your health you don’t have anything.” Most of the time I'm halfway content, Most of the time I know exactly where I went,

I don't cheat on myself, I don't run and hide, Hide from the feelings, that are buried inside, I don't compromise and I don't pretend, I don't even care if I ever see her again Most of the time. “Most of the time / I'm halfway content” sometimes I am only halfway content otherwise I am totally restless longing for better circumstances “Most of the time / I know exactly” sometimes I have no idea with complete accuracy and precision “where it all went” where my whole life went wrong, went down the drain “I don't cheat on myself” sometimes I aggravate my own condition “I don't run and hide” by trying to escape it with drugs like heroin, morphine “Hide from the feelings” escape my intuitive awareness “that are buried inside” that any day I could be dead and buried inside a grave “I don't compromise” sometimes I expose and make myself liable to danger “and I don't pretend” and I fool myself into believing that I can continue to use heroin while I am HIV positive and get away with it “I don't even care if I ever see her again” sometimes I deeply regret what I have done to myself when I realize I will never see a healthy time in my life again “Most of the time.”