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For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 1 Volume 38 • #1 • January 1, 2014 visit militarypress.com Serving Active and Retired Military, DoD Workers and Civilians for Over 35 Years Military free NO POLITICAL PARTIES! — George Washington

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Page 1: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 1

Volume 38 • #1 • January 1, 2014

v i s i t m i l i t a r y p r e s s . c o mServing Active and Retired Military,DoD Workers and Civilians for Over 35 Years

Militaryfree

NO POLITICALPARTIES!— George Washington

Page 2: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

2 January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

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Page 3: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 3

The Military Press Newsmagazine is published semi-monthly on the 1st and the 15th by Military Press Newspaper, a commercial, free-enterprise newspaper. It does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Department of the Navy and is no way associated with the Department of the Navy. The editorial objective of the Military Press is to promote support for a strong military presence. The opinions and views of the writers whose materials appear herein are those of the writers and not the publisher. Ap-pearance of advertising does not constitute endorsement by the Military Press Newspaper. Consumers should make informed decisions when purchasing products and services, and when considering business opportunities, and research before investing. Subscription by mail is $50 per year to CONUS or FPO addresses.

RememberWhen...

The Military PressJanuary 1, 2014

Publisher Richard T. Matz

Customer Service Manager Carol Williams

Advertising Manager Valerie Swaine

Account Representatives: Michelle HullVictoria Wills

Public RelationsLisa Matz

Production / WebSandra Powers • Joe Yang

DistributionDennis Winks

Nicole Matz, Mandie MatzVictoria Wills

Contributing WritersDoug AguillardCrystal Arriaga

Mort Fretel • Art GarciaHoward Hian • Keith Angelin

Jeri Jacquin, The Movie MavenJessamyn Patterson

Contact Us: 9715 Carroll Centre Road

Suite #104San Diego, CA 92126

Tel 858.537.2280 www.militarypress.com

[email protected]

2007What was life like back in 2007... world events, technology, movies...pages 18-19

Come On Boys, We’re All In This TogetherWhen George Washington became President of the United States in 1789, there were no political parties. Political parties first emerged during Washington’s

first term in office with the Alexander Hamilton’s Federalist Party in 1791 and in the following year, the formation of the Anti-Federalist Party or Democratic-Republicans under the leadership of Thomas Jefferson. The two political parties formulated their views of how government ought to operate in the new republic. At the end of Washington’s first term, as he was preparing to retire and go back to Mt. Vernon to just be a farmer again, the leaders of the opposing parties both wanted him to reconsider with Hamilton and Jefferson pleading with Washington to stay on for a second term. Jefferson is credited as stating: “North and South will hang together if they have you to hang on.” Washington finally consented to such sentiments and was again the obvious choice of the Electoral College as they re-elected him in February of 1793. During Washington’s second term, the divisions between the two political parties became defined. CONT., PAGES 4-5

DEM REP

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Page 4: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

4 January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

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The Heritage FoundationSober George Washington daringly

made his Farewell Address an open letter of advice and warning to the American people about their long-term safety and happiness. For a great lead-er to voluntarily relinquish political power and retire from public life was itself unprecedented in the annals of history—an act that contributed to the establishment of republican govern-ment in America. But his words on this occasion are no less cherished for, as his biographer and Chief Justice John Marshall put it, “precepts to which the American statesman can not too fre-quently recur.” With the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, the Farewell Address constitutes the central statement of the American purpose.

Washington warned of the dangers facing the young republic, chiefly from internal faction and foreign dangers. But he also hailed the greatness that could come from a unity founded on necessity and prosperity, and further graced by the character of its citizens. The Address itself exemplified unity. Drafted in part by James Madison and Alexander Hamilton, the two collabo-rators on the Federalist Papers who

were now political rivals, the manu-script was revised by Washington and published in Philadelphia’s largest newspaper on September 19, 1796—just nine years after the signing of the Constitution.

Preservation of the UnionThe general theme of the Fare-

well Address is the preserva-tion of the Union as the core of American nation-hood. Washington warned against sectionalism as the destroyer of the common interest and national char-acter. The ties of the Union and the Constitution that made the various parts one must be cher-ished as sacred. “The name of American, which belongs to you, in your national capacity must always exalt the just pride of Patriotism, more than any ap-pellation derived from local dis-criminations.”

The Danger of FactionsWashington also warned

of “the baneful effects of the Spirit of Party”—one of the

two most famous recommenda-tions of the Farewell Address

(along with a warning about permanent alliances). By party,

Washington meant factious groups that sought their own good, to the detriment of the common good and the rights of others. The prolif-eration of faction or party in this sense was a dominant question of his presidency. He spoke of design-ing men, who would divide sections

of the country as a means to their own political power.

The factions of the 1790s foreshadowed those of the Civil War.

Religion and MoralityIn a self-governing nation, a unifying

public opinion requires the

enlighten-ment of formal in-

George Washington’s advice and warning to the American people

Page 5: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 5

stitutions of education and of civic ed-ucation. The “great Pillars of human happiness” and the “firmest props of the duties of Men and citizens,” he emphasized, were religion and moral-ity. “Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, Re-ligion and morality are indispensable supports.”

America’s Role in the WorldThe foreign policy of the new na-

tion requires both principles and pru-dence, given its circumstances. The United States should “observe good faith and justice towards all Nations.” In the future, he asks Americans to keep in mind that “it will be worthy of a free, enlightened, and at no distant period, a great Nation, to give to man-kind the magnanimous and too novel example of a People always guided by an exalted justice and benevolence.” America’s place in the world will ele-vate and distinguish its national char-acter.

Washington recommended as the great rule of conduct that the United States primarily pursue commercial relations with other nations and have with them “as little political connec-tion as possible,” consistent with its treaty obligations. Washington did not call for America to withdraw from the world: he warned of political connec-tions and permanent alliances. In a world convulsed by the French Revolu-tion, he advised that the young repub-lic “steer clear of permanent Alliances with any portion of the foreign world.” America should be clear-headed about

its own capacities under changing circumstances while keeping itself in mind as an example to the world. Washington recommended that the na-tion pursue a long-term course of plac-ing itself in a position to defy external threats, defend its own neutrality, and, eventually, choose peace or war as its own “interest, guided by justice, shall Counsel.”

The Eradication of FreedomWashington argued that politi-

cal parties needed to be restrained in a free country with a government empowered by the consent of the governed and established through popular elections. He warned of the possibility fearing they could distract the government from its required duty to the people and even lead to the eradication of the freedoms estab-lished by the founding.

Unfortunately, it is way too late to restrain the hunger for power in to-day’s political parties; it has been en-culturated.

America is at the mercy of two pow-erful political parties. If a strong can-didate wants to get elected to office in this country, one usually needs some affiliation to the major parties.

We see from history that third par-ty forays are limited in strength and often serve only to undermine one or another of the major parties in the ca-pacity of a “spoiler.”

If Washington could see America now, probably the only thing that he could say after getting over the shock, would be: “I told you so!”

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surance do they have? I doubt they’re on Obamacare and even if they are, I’m sure they have enough money to provide better health care, better doctors and hospitals for themselves. Obamacare was, is and will be a mis-take that all Americans will have to bear the brunt of when Pres. Obama orders a bail-out for any of the bank-rupted parties..

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Page 6: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

6 January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

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By Shannon Morell The Feeling Thermometer is one of

my favorite tools that we use at FOCUS. It helps kids and parents express how they feel. It also assists family members in understanding that each person in the family may have different responses to the same event. Most importantly, the Feeling Thermometer provides a com-mon language for families to identify and share feelings.

The thermometer has4 color zones:

The green zone is an area of comfort-able feelings, such as happy, excited, or perhaps silly. Kids sometimes share that playing outside, or having a family movie night, is the type of activity that helps them feel “in the green.”

The yellow zone represents feelings that are just a little uncomfortable, such as a little sad or a bit worried.

The orange zone describes more un-comfortable feelings, such as mad, sad,

A great tool forcommunicatingfeelings

FOCUS ON.. THE FEELING THERMOMETER

or nervous. The red zone is used to describe

more intense feelings like fear, anger, or extreme sadness.

At FOCUS, we teach children and adults to use this tool to talk about their feelings, things that make them feel un-comfortable, and ways they can get back to the green zone.

I am always impressed at how easy it is for children to share and express their feelings with the Feeling Thermometer. While teaching the thermometer to a kindergarten class, one of the children expressed being in the “orange” due to his dad’s deployment to Afghanistan. Another student came to a FOCUS group and was inattentive and having trouble participating. Once we went through the different colors on the Feel-ing Thermometer, he was able share that he was in the “yellow” because his little brother kept him up all night and he was tired. Teachers have requested that we teach the Feeling Thermometer at the beginning of the school year to help

students adjust to a new setting. They like that their students, after learning to use the Feeling Thermometer, can talk about their conflicts without shout-ing or hitting.

FOCUS (Families OverComing Un-der Stress) is a resiliency-building pro-gram of the Navy Bureau of Medicine and Surgery (BUMED). FOCUS is an eight-session training program for mili-tary families that is grounded in more than two decades of research and ex-perience serving families dealing with stress and changes. FOCUS is specifi-cally adapted for the needs of military couples, children and families and pro-vides training in core resilience skills. These skills increase closeness, sup-port, communication, and adaptability.

Couples and families learn to work to-gether to manage difficult emotions, set goals and problem solve, communicate clearly and effectively, and develop cus-tomized strategies to deal with ongoing stress and change.

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Page 7: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 7

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The problem with the way most people say ‘I’m sorry’ is that they say it too soon. In other words, they apologize before they could pos-sibly understand what they’re apologizing for.

Example: Husband offends wife. Wife gets angry. Husband realizes that he’s in the dog house. Husband knows WHAT HE DID but has no clue WHY it upset his wife. Husband says, ‘I’m sorry.’ Husband just blew it again!

A true apology is not for what YOU did. It’s for the pain you caused YOUR SPOUSE. And you can only apolo-gize for that after you get inside your spouse’s heart and feel their hurt.

Sometimes ‘I’m sorry’ is NOT an apology; it’s a request to move on. In other words, if you don’t know your spouse’s pain, then ‘I’m sorry’ is re-ally just a selfish request for relief of YOUR pain (the pain of being in the dog house).

It’s easy to know what you did. The question is: How did it make your spouse feel? WHY did it upset them? When you know the answers to these questions, then, and only then, are you ready to apologize.

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been coaching a gentleman who’s in the midst of a marriage crisis. He made a lot of mistakes in his marriage (some

Making your apology count

pretty severe) and he’s in jeopardy of losing his family. But, unlike most people, he’s will-ing to take a brutal look at himself and try to fix what’s broken.

One of the first things we did was identify his mistakes. His assignment was to write a letter of apology to his wife. It took a couple of drafts before he understood what I meant by apology (see above), but he nailed it as well as anyone I’ve ever coached.

Writing your apology letterIdentify one mistake you’ve made

and write a letter of apology to your spouse. Of course, you’ll need to de-scribe your mistake. But more impor-tantly, I want you to describe your SPOUSE’S FEELINGS. Describe THEIR experience of your mistake.

If your spouse knows that you felt their pain, then they’ll know that you won’t do it again. That’s when they’ll accept ‘I’m sorry,’ and then you can move on.

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Page 8: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

8 January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

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Mens cap to become universal for all Marines

In the latest move toward a universal cap, the Marine Corps has authorized female Marines to wear the current male dress and service caps. Though females may wear the male caps now, they are not required to own them un-til May 1, 2017. Marine Corps Systems Command is currently working to im-prove the quality, fit and comfort of the existing male frame cap, to allow for it to be the universal cap. The universal cap is projected to be issued to recruits and available at military clothing sales starting May 1, 2015.

COLA cut creates outrageOn Wednesday, the Senate passed

the Bipartisan Budget Act of 2013 (BBA) by a vote of 64-36. The two year budget deal includes a provision that reduces working age retirees’ annual cost-of-living adjustment (COLA) by one percent until they reach the age of 62 — and fails to grandfather existing retirees and currently serving mem-bers who plan to serve a 20-plus year career. Because of the fast-track nature of the bill, many members of Congress were caught off-guard by the overall financial impact retirees would face. Read the rest of the article at www.moaa.org/MRBudgetDealCOLA/.

VA makes progress on claims backlog

A senior Veterans Affairs Depart-ment official recently outlined prog-ress made by the Veterans Benefits Administration in reducing the back-log of veterans’ disability compensa-tion and pension claims by 36 percent since March, attributing the success to the combined impact of transforma-tion initiatives and increased employ-ee productivity. Allison A. Hickey, the undersecretary of veterans affairs for benefits, detailed the elements of the Veterans Benefits Administration’s, or VBA, transformation plan in testimony at a recent hearing of the Senate Veter-ans Affairs Committee.

Drug testing expandedThe Department of Defense (DoD)

has expanded its zero tolerance for the use of illicit drugs to include synthetic marijuana, also known as “spice.” The military also randomly tests all servicemembers for marijua-na, cocaine, amphetamines, codeine and morphine, oxycodone, oxymor-phone, hydrocodone, hydromorphone, Vicodin, and different diazepines, such as Valium and Xanax. Any ser-vicemember who tests positive for either an illicit drug or misuse of a prescription drug falls under any ac-tions deemed appropriate under the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

ID cards for same sexdependents

All eligible servicemembers, de-pendents and retirees — including same-sex couples — are now able to obtain Defense Department identi-fication cards in every state. On Oct. 31, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel called on the chief of the National Guard Bureau to work with the adju-tants general of several states to fully implement Defense Department pol-icy by providing DOD ID cards to all eligible military spouses, regardless of sexual orientation.

For more on military benefits, visit www.military.com/benefits.

Free Korean War history book

To commemorate the 60th Anniversary of the Korean War, the Wisconsin Departments of Military Affairs and Veterans Affairs are partnering to distribute a special book to honor those veterans who served in that con-flict. “Korea Reborn: A Grateful Nation Hon-ors War Veterans for 60 Years of Growth” is available for free to Korean War Veterans or family members as a gift of gratitude from the Korean government. Request your copy of the book on the Wisconsin Department of Veterans Affairs website at http://dma.wi.gov/dma/dma/bookRequest.asp or call 608-242-3239. The book is available one per veteran or family. Due to high demand, the book is backordered. So, please be patient.

For questions, please contact Lori Getter for more information or special instructions, email [email protected].

eNTeRTAiNMeNT

eNTeRTAiNMeNT

Page 9: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 9

After signing my pop, EM2 Bud Cloud (circa Pearl Harbor) up for hos-pice care, the consolation prize I’d giv-en him (for agreeing it was OK to die) was a trip to “visit the Navy in San Di-ego.”

I emailed my friend and former Ma-rine sergeant, Mrs. Mandy McCammon, who’s currently serving as a Navy Pub-lic Affairs Officer, at midnight on 28 May. I asked Mandy if she had enough pull on any of the bases in San Diego to get me access for the day so I could give Bud, who served on USS Dewey (DD-349), a windshield tour.

The next day she sent me an email from the currentUSS Dewey (DDG 105)’s XO, CDR Mikael Rockstad, invit-ing us down to the ship two days later.

We linked up with Mandy outside Naval Base San Diego and carpooled to the pier where we were greeted by CMDCM Joe Grgetich and a squad-sized group of Sailors.

Bud started to cry before the doors of the van opened. He’d been oohing and pointing as we approached the pier, but when we slowed down and Mandy said, “They’re all here for you, Bud,” he was overwhelmed.

After we were all out of the van di-rectly in front of the Dewey, shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries, Petty Officer Simon introduced him-self and said as the ship’s Sailor of the Year he had the honor of pushing Bud’s wheelchair for the day. Unbeknownst to us, they’d decided to host Bud aboard the Dewey, not at the Dewey.

And so they carried him aboard. None of us expected him to go aboard the ship. I’d told him we were going down to the base and

would have the chance to meet and greet a few of the Sailors from the new Dewey. He was ecstatic.

The day before, he asked every few hours if we were “still going down to visit the boys from the Dewey,” and “Do

A Sailor’sdyingwish

Bud being piped ashore by the command and crew of the USS Dewey.

they know I was on the Dewey, too?”Once aboard, we were greeted by

the CO, CDR Jake Douglas, the XO and a reinforced platoon-sized group of Sailors.

To say it was overwhelming is an un-derstatement. These men and women waited in line to introduce themselves to Bud. They shook his hand, asked for photos with him, and swapped stories. It was simply amazing. They didn’t just talk to him, they listened.

Bud’s voice was little more than a weak whisper at this point and he’d tell a story and then GMC Eisman would repeat it so all of the Sailors on deck could hear.

In the midst of the conversations, Petty Officer Flores broke contact with the group. Bud was telling a sto-ry when Flores walked back into view holding a huge photo of the original USS Dewey. That moment was price-less. Bud stopped mid-sentence and yelled, “There she is!”

They patiently stood there holding the photo while he told them about her armament, described the way it listed after it was hit, and shared other de-tails about the attacks on Pearl Harbor.

Bud finally admitted how tired he was after more than an hour on deck. While they were finishing up goodbyes and taking last minute photographs, GMC Eisman asked if it’d be OK to bring Sailors up to visit Bud in a few months after a Chief’s board. I hadn’t said it yet because I didn’t want it to dampen the spirit of the day, but I qui-etly explained to GMC Eisman the rea-son we’d asked for the visit was simple:

Bud was dying.I told him they were welcome to

come up any time they wanted, but I suspected Bud had about a month left to live. Almost without hesitation, he asked if the crew could provide the

SAILOR, cont’d. on Page 15

Page 10: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

10 January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

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By Mark BairdOver 2.4 million U.S. businesses

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The positive effect of U.S. veteran entrepreneurs

lars in sales. And they employ nearly 6,000,000 people.

These numbers are impressive, so are the men and women they rep-resent. I have worked with veteran owned businesses for years. They are

extraordinary in a variety of ways, and it seems that most share a common passion: to employ other U.S. veterans. It is their way of continuing to belong to their military brothers and sisters. And just as it was their sworn duty to support and defend each other in the Armed Services, they take pride and satisfaction in continuing to do so.

Here’s one veteranentrepreneur’s story:

Michael Malott (USMC ’88-‘92) is the creator of Veterans Green Proj-ects. This enterprise is great example of a U.S. veteran dedicated to building a business that has a positive impact, while providing jobs to other veterans across America.

Michael owns Semper Pacific Wealth Strategies in San Diego, a financial in-vestment firm. While researching sound investments Michael learned through a friend, Antonio Neal, about the world-wide tsunami called “e-waste.” Any-thing that has a battery or a plug fits this category, such as computers and

cell phones. Currently the world is pro-ducing one thousand billion pounds of e-waste each year. But by this decade’s end the yearly weight of disposed e-waste will increase 500 times!

Where others might see an insur-mountable problem, this USMC vet-eran sees monumental opportunity. He and Mr. Neal have purchased their own e-waste business to serve their area, and they have put together a network of other fully certified and licensed e-waste companies around the world so that they can collect and recycle e-waste anywhere on earth.

The vision of Veterans Green Proj-ects is to create “foot prints” of their company across America and around the world and to employ U.S. veterans to lead these operations. They have just added a Logistics manager, and by part-nering with another veteran-owned business, they have added a sales team.

Michael Malott supports a veteran charity founded in San Diego, Patriotic Hearts. It provides critical free services to U.S. veterans and their families. Vet-erans Green Projects is so committed to supporting U.S. veterans that they donate 100% of their net profits to this non-profit! Veterans Green Projects, as they say in the military, don’t just “talk the talk,” they “walk the walk!”

ORTHO MATTRESS featured on the next page is the first in aMilitary Press series featuring businesses proud to advertise their products to the military. All have an unwavering, heartfelt support for the troops and offer meaningful discounts for military personnel and their families. Look for this logo in upcoming issues to find morebusinesses that are the Best of the Best for serving the military.

STORAGe

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For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 11

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Page 12: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

12 January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

HOUSiNG

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By Dr. Jason R. Hess, MD, FACSAfter her first child, Virginia Jones

realized she needed to do something about the loose skin on her abdomen and the noticeable stretch marks. The Navy officer’s wife felt uncomfortable going to the beach with her friends and

Not just vanity: tummy tucks can heal

Before & After – Actual Military Wife

Jason R. Hess,MD, FACS

family and was too self conscious to wear a bikini.

After the birth of her second and third child, her confidence plummeted. “Dieting and exercising didn’t take care of the excess weight in my tummy. It made me feel bad about myself.” Af-

ter a consultation with Dr. Jason Hess, Virginia was excited to learn about op-tions to restore her figure. Surgery was big decision.

The Navy wife said she interviewed many plas-tic surgeons across the country wherever her hus-band had been stationed. The consultations were brief and few of her con-cerns were addressed. “No one had ever asked me what I wanted,” she explained. When she talked to Dr. Hess, a San Diego plastic surgeon, she was amazed he took so much time dis-cussing abdominoplasty or “tummy tuck” surgery.

“The main thing for me is that you have to feel comfortable with your doc-tor. Dr. Hess is very personable and caring,” she stated. “He wants the best results for the patient. I felt confident going into a major surgery with him,” said Mrs. Jones.

After Dr. Hess performed her lipo-suction and tummy tuck, the mother said, “I was amazed at the results. They were better than I ever imagined they could be. The surgery eliminated the majority of the stretch marks.”

Mrs. Jones has changed the way she dresses be-cause she is no longer wor-ried about covering up her stomach. “Every single day I look at myself, and I am so happy I got a tummy tuck. I feel very fortunate I found Dr. Hess. I can now wear a bikini on the beach with my husband and not be ashamed.”

The Jones family now lives in Oahu where Virgin-

ia’s husband is stationed.“Before my surgery, I felt insecure.

Now, I go to the beach all the time with my husband. It has helped our relation-ship because I am willing to go out in public more.”

One of the reasons the Navy wife chose Dr. Hess as her surgeon was because he is board certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery, the only certifying board for plastic sur-geons. Dr. Hess explained his passion for plastic surgery. “I want to help peo-ple restore their confidence. Today’s techniques can safely provide dramatic improvement and natural results.”

Dr. Hess’ office is located at 4060 4th Ave., Suite #120, San Diego. He can be reached at 619-739-4440.

See our ad on Page 23.

Page 13: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 13

Serving our country? You’ve got our attention!

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registered trademarks of SunPower Corporation. See Built to Order™ options and upgrades offered at KB Home Studio. All options/upgrades require additional charges and ordering at predetermined stages of construction, and are subject to change/discontinuation anytime by KB Home. KB Home is not a custom homebuilder. Plans, pricing, financing, terms, availability and specifications subject to change/prior sale without notice and may vary by neighborhood, lot location and home series. Buyer responsible for all taxes, insurance and other fees. Sq. footage is approximate. HOA applies. Photo may depict upgraded landscaping/options and may not represent lowest-priced homes. Photo does not depict racial preference. Military images and/or information do not reflect nor imply endorsement by Dept. of Defense or Service Branch. See sales representative for details. KB Home Sales–Southern California Inc. (CA Real Estate License 00242327). SOCAL-112819

New model homes are now open in San Marcos.Come out this weekend to experience all that Rancho Santalina Haciendas has to offer.

Page 14: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

14 January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

CHARGERSREPORT

Playoffs or not, offensive line proving its mettle

MOTORCYCLeS

By Art Garcia, Jr.In his farewell press conference, for-

mer head coach Norv Turner intimated that Chargers fans shouldn’t get their hopes up about a return to the post-season anytime soon because the high-powered, talented roster he inherited was now long gone (basically throwing

former GM A.J. Smith under the bus).For all of his offensive ‘genius,’ Turn-

er should leave the prognosticating to soothsayers. The fact is, for all the self-destruction the team did to itself this season – see the games vs. Hous-ton, Tennes-

see and Wash-ington – this

Chargers team could very easily be securely locked into the playoffs at 10-4 or 9-6 heading into this weekend’s regular season finale under first-year coach Mike McCoy. And despite what-ever happens vs. the Chiefs this Sun-day, there is no question the Bolts are moving in the right direction un-der GM Tom Telesco.

Heading into the NFL Draft last April, the Chargers biggest concern was building an offensive line that could keep quarterback Philip Rivers healthy throughout the season. Hand-cuffed by the salary cap, Telesco and Co. brought in the likes of King Dun-lap, Chad Rinehart and Rich Ohrn-berger – all free agents signed to so-lidify a line the gave up some 49 sacks last season. Telesco then selected the best run blocking lineman in the draft, Alabama’s D.J. Fluker, who will likely make the NFL’s all-rookie team and could get a few votes for rookie of the year based on his performance at both tackle positions this year.

Through 15 games the Chargers have allowed the third-fewest sacks this season (27) and the third-few-est yards lost as a result of those sacks (140). Injuries forced the team to start six different com-binations of linemen through 15 games, while playing a total of 16 different combinations up front at various times this

season. And despite the starting five linemen playing the entire game as a unit just six times this season, the team has gained more than 100 yards on the #77 King Dunlap #76 DJ Fluker

Page 15: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 15

ground in 11 of 15 games including six of the last seven.

“We’re having fun out there right now… having an absolute blast,” center Nick Hardwick said. “It’s fun to fight; it’s fun to compete in ball games – no matter what happens next week we don’t care, we’re going to have a heck of a time and we’re going to play hard.”

For Hardwick, who is in his 10th year out of Purdue, re-establishing the run game brings a smile to his face as the line gets to impose its will on the de-fense.

Said Hardwick, “It’s important (hav-ing fun) – you’re excited to run, excited to hit and it certainly helps you (estab-lish your game plan). Ryan (Mathews) is doing a tremendous job getting downfield, he’s seeing the hole and hit-ting it fast… it’s just fun, we’re having a heck of a time.

“We’ve had three wins in a row now; our confidence is building; wins kind of breeds winning as Marty (Shot-

tenheimer) used to say. You have that feeling going into the game that you’re going to win the game and when you come out with another one you’re very excited about it. We’re not even go-ing to worry about those other games; we’re just going to go out there and play the Chiefs and give them hell.”

The EndzoneBesides the offensive line, the second

area of concern for the Chargers over the offseason was the secondary. Hav-ing let go of starting cornerbacks Quen-tin Jammer and Antoine Cason, along with strong safety Atari Bigby, Telesco decided to go in a different direction and bring in a number of free agents to compete for the openings. Although the signing of high-priced corner Der-ek Cox has yet to pan out, the much-

maligned secondary has improved since his benching by coming up with four interceptions and 21 passes defensed in the last three games. If the Chargers do in fact back into the playoffs it couldn’t come at a better time with the defense playing it’s best football of the season. Having 10 total turnovers over the last five games, the defense has held the last three opponents, the Giants, Broncos and Raiders, to just 297.7 yards and 15.7 points per game. Perhaps most impressive is the play of the defense on third-downs where

SOME WOUNDS LEAVE NO SCARS.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

One in five Iraq and Afghanistan veterans suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or major depression. Learn more or find out how you can help at woundedwarriorproject.org.

© 2011 Wounded Warrior Project® All Rights Reserved

COMMUNiTY

SAILORCont’d. from Page 9burial honors when the time came. I assured him that’d be an honor we’d welcome.

Leaving the ship was possibly more emotional than boarding.

They piped him ashore. CMDCM Grgetich leaned in and quietly told me how significant that honor was and who it’s usually reserved for as we headed towards the gangplank.

Hearing “Electrician’s Mate Second Class William Bud Cloud, Pearl Harbor Survivor, departing” announced over the 1MC was surreal.

Later that night Bud sat in his re-cliner, hands full of ship’s coins and de-clared, “I don’t care what you do with my power tools; you better promise you’ll bury me with these.”

He died 13 days later. For 12 of those 13 days he talked about the Dewey, her Sailors and his visit to San Diego. Ev-eryone who came to the house had to hear the story, see the photos, hold the coins, read the plaques.

True to his word, GMC Eisman ar-ranged the details for a full honors burial. The ceremony was simple yet magnificent.

And a perfect send off for an ornery old guy who never, ever stopped being proud to be a Sailor. After the funeral, the Sailors came back to the house for the reception and spent an hour with the family. This may seem like a small detail, but it’s another example of them going above and beyond the call of duty, and it meant more to the family than I can explain.

There are more photos, and I’m sure I missed a detail, or a name. What I didn’t miss and will never forget, is how unbelievable the men and women of the USS Dewey were. They opened their ship and their hearts and quite literally made a dream come true for a dying Sailor.

They provided the backdrop for “This is the best day of my life, daugh-ter. I never in my whole life dreamed I’d step foot on the Dewey again or shake the hand of a real life Sailor.”

Without question, it’s the best ex-ample of Semper Fidelis I’ve ever seen.

“We can’t all be heroes, some of us have to stand on the curb and clap as they go by “ — Mark Twain

they have given up just 9-of-30 (30.0%) third down attempts.

Despite the odds being against them making the playoffs, maybe the football gods will grant them a favor similar

to that in 2008 when the Broncos ended the season with three consecutive losses, thus giv-

ing the Chargers the AFC West crown

at 8-8 and enabling Chargers fans to wit-

ness one of the greatest playoff games in NFL history – the Chargers thrilling 23-17 overtime vic-tory over the Peyton Manning-led In-dianapolis Colts.

#61 Nick Hardwick

Page 16: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

16 January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

Not-so-red alertA drunk phoned police to report

that thieves had been in his car.“They’ve stolen the dashboard, the

steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!” he cried out.

However, before the police inves-tigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

“Never mind,” he said with a hiccup, “I got in the back seat by mistake.

Just like at the carnivalA man meets a gorgeous woman

in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.

Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, me-

dium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, espe-cially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him‚ they kiss‚ then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an in-

tense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”

Confessions of acontractor

An Amishman had stolen some lum-ber, and soon got to feeling very guilty about it. He was too embarrassed to go to his Amish bishop. Thus he decided to go to confession at a Catholic church to deal with his transgression. In the confessional, he told the priest that he had s

“I stole some lumber, Father,” re-plied the penitent.

“How much lumber did you steal?” asked the priest.

“Father, I built my German Shep-herd dog a nice new doghouse.”

The priest replied, “Well, that’s not so bad.”

The penitent interrupted him. “Fa-ther, I also built myself a 4-car garage.”

The priest then responded, “Now that’s a little more serious!”

The penitent again interrupted the

priest, “Father, I’ve got to get it off my chest. I built a doghouse, a 4-car ga-rage, and a 5-bedroom 4-bath home!”

With a look of shock, the priest then responded, “Well, that is most serious. I’m afraid that you’ll have to make a novena.”

The penitent Amishman looked per-plexed and then said, “Father, I don’t know what a novena is, but if you’ve got the blueprints, I’ve got the lumber.”

Biggest chestQ. A brunette, a blonde and a red-

head are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest breast?

A. The blonde, because she’s 18.

New twist on an old sayingFor all those men who say, “Why buy

the cow when you can get the milk for free.” Here’s an update for you. Nowa-days 80% of women are against mar-riage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage...

Revenge feels so goodFor decades, two heroic statues, one

male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

“You’ve been such exemplary stat-ues,” he announced to them, “That I’m going to give you a special gift. I’m go-ing to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want.” And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.

The two approached each other a bit

Just for

Laughs

shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

“You still have fifteen more min-utes,” said the angel, being naughty and winking at them.

Grinning even more widely the fe-male statue turned to the male statue and said, “Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I’ll crap on it’s head.”

He said‚ she said...He said... Do you love me just be-

cause my father left me a fortune?She said...Not at all honey, I would

love you no matter who left you the money.

He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I’ve wanted to make love to you in the worst way.

She said...Well, you have succeeded.He said... You have a flat chest and

need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

She said...No, have you?He said... Why do you women always

try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?

She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

He said... Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.

She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

ACROSS1. Pause5. Hearing organs9. Historical periods13. Dwarf buffalo14. Clips16. Anger17. Territory18. Polite19. Part of a plant20. Run away to wed22. Explodes24. Kind of bean26. Adjust again27. Pitiable30. Prawn33. Stickiness35. Sea37. Hasten38. Ancient Greek marketplace41. Chief Executive Officer42. Heart artery45. A passenger cart48. Periodical51. A long tapering flag52. Yellowish-brown54. Any day now55. Imagines59. Lively62. Wreckage63. Located65. Computer symbol66. Doing nothing67. Sexually aroused68. What a person is called69. Clairvoyant70. Memo

71. Delight

DOWN1. Welt2. A Freudian stage3. Outer region of the atmosphere4. Pollywog5. And so forth6. Dry7. Stream8. Hits9. Fickle10. Violent disturbance

11. Found in some lotions12. Collections15. Make a splashing sound21. Visual organs23. Roman emperor25. Largest continent27. Laugh28. “Bye”29. Soak31. Robotic32. Song of praise34. Neither ___36. Nothing (British)39. Tear

40. Air force heroes43. Coach44. Goals46. A round handle47. Noisy breathing49. Disconcert50. A vast multitude53. Backward-looking55. Anagram of “Sire”56. Naked57. Wicked58. Dispatched60. A few61. Leg joint64. Coloring agentP

UZ

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AG

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This week’s solutions:

SUDOKUThe rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks

so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.

JOKES, cont’d. on Page 22

Page 17: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 17

Page 18: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

18 January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

Dick Cheney (Born January 30, 1941)46th Vice President of the United States

George W. Bush(Born July 6, 1946))

43rd President of the United States

“Whether we bring ourenemies to justice or bringjustice to our enemies,justice will be done.” — George Bush

’07s Concept Cars of the FutureA concept car is made to showcase new technology. They’re also very effective

as a marketing tool to draw publicity. However, what happens to them when they don’t make the cut? You might be surprised that very few are kept,

many concept cars are crushed because they do not meet the stringent government standards.

2007 SuzukiKizashi Concept

2007 Lincoln MKR Concept

2007 KTM X-BOW

2007 ChevroletCorvette Z06

World events• Severe drought in Australia

causes wheat crop to fail and prices to increase around the world

• Aekka-Eric Auvinen, a student at Jokela Secondary School, goes on a shooting rampage, killing 10, including taking his own life.

• Cyclone Sidr with winds reaching 160mph strikes coastal areas of Bangladesh claiming the lives of between 4,000 and 5,000

• An earthquake measur-ing 8.0 strikes the central coast-al area of Peru leaving 500 dead

• The world’s largest ship, the “Lib-erty of the Seas,” a passenger cruise ship, goes into service

• Rebels from Darfur, Sudan continue campaign of attacking and murder on refugee camps in Chad and elsewhere

• New 7 Wonders Foundation announce the new Seven Wonders of the Modern World

U.S. news• One of the deadliest tornadoes

in Kansas history destroys the town of Greensburg a it takes the brunt

of the 200 mph winds• One of the larg-

est and deadliest forest in U.S. history rages in Southern California fanned by the

Santa Ana winds destroying 400,000

acres and 2,000 homes• A student on Virginia

Tech Campus goes on a killing spree leaving over 30 students dead

• The bridge over the Mississippi Rover collapses with cars dropping 50 feet into the river

• Six miners are trapped and lost in a collapsed mine in Utah and three rescue workers are also lost in the

tragedy• The Mitchell Report is published

which shows the use of anabolic steroids and hu-man growth hormones is widespread in Major League Baseball

Technol-ogy

• Apple introduces the iPhone

• Apple introduces the new iTouch with built-in WiFi and touch screen

Sports• Superbowl: Indianapolis

over Chicago• NBA: San Antonio Spurs

over Cleveland Cavaliers

Popular cultureThe final Harry Potter

book is published, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hal-

lows• Fisher-Price recalls over 1 million

Chinee-made toys

Page 19: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 19

remember when...

0072• income per year $50,823• Minimum wage $5.15• New house $300,000• New car $28,000• Gallon of gas $3.00• Lb. of bacon $3.60• Dozen eggs $3.46• Gallon of milk $3.50• First-class stamp 41¢• Movie ticket $7.00

AVERAGE COSTOF LIVING

GONE IN 2007: Above right: Anna Nicole-Smith. Above left: Kurt Vonnegut, Yvonne DeCarlo, Jane

Wyman, Lady Bird Johnson.

’07s Concept Cars of the FutureA concept car is made to showcase new technology. They’re also very effective

as a marketing tool to draw publicity. However, what happens to them when they don’t make the cut? You might be surprised that very few are kept,

many concept cars are crushed because they do not meet the stringent government standards.

2007 Mazda Hakaze Concept

2007 KTM X-BOW

2007 Ferrari Dino Concept

Popular film• Spider Man 3• Shrek The III• Transformers• Pirates of the Caribbean: At

World’s End• The Bourne Ultimatum• 300• Ratatouille• I Am Legend• Live Free or Die Hard• Evan Almighty

Popular music• Irreplaceable, Beyonce• Umbrella, Rihanna• The Sweet Escape, Gwen Stefani• Big Girls Don’t Cry, Fergie

• Buy U a Drank, T-Pain• Before He Cheats, Carrie Under-

wood• Hey There Delilah, Plain White

T’s

Popular TV• CSI• Grey’s Anatomy• Survivor: China• Sunday Night Football• Without A Trace• Amazing Race

Page 20: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

20 January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

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offers or discounts. Exp 1/31/14

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Not valid with other offers. Exp 1/31/14

COME BY OR CALL 760-966-3160 TO RESERVESat $1, Sun$2 • Offer good thru 12/31/13

this swap meet is huge!

Oceanside Swap Meet, 3480 Mission Ave(at the old drive-in)oceansideswapmeet.com

A FUN PLACE FOR THE WHOLE FAMILYCarnival Rides, Pony Rides, Farmers Market & Delicious Food!

Vendor Booth Space Reserved Location (Valued Reg. at $15)

$5 ATTENTION ACTIVE MILITARY PERSONNEL

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this swap meet is huge!

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A FUN PLACE FOR THE WHOLE FAMILYCarnival Rides, Pony Rides, Farmers Market & Delicious Food!

Vendor Booth Space Reserved Location (Valued Reg. at $15)

$5 ATTENTION ACTIVE MILITARY PERSONNEL

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SHOPPERS ADMISSION BUY 1 GET 1 FREE with this ad

Page 21: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 21

WE SUPPORT OUR TROOPS3D/4D SONOGRAMS $69

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MilitaryPress.com

Latest Military NewsContests • Movie Tickets

Military-FriendlyBusiness Directory

Test-drive an Electronic Cigarette for FREE!

Happy Veterans Day20% off ANY ITEM4545 Fanuel Street in Pacific BeachOn the corner of Felspar & Fanuelwww.facebook.com/vapequality • 858.412.6721

You can stop smoking cigarettes and not give up any of the pleasure. We have a safe, sanitary & comfort-able spot to try one with absolutely no obligation.

(Show Military ID)

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1pm – 5pm • Girls & Boys 0-21yrsVisit us on Facebook: Hot Couture Pageantry

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Hot Couture PageantryPresents, A Valentine Barbie

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Naturally Handsome Valentine Pageant Boys 0-12yrs

8am – 12pm • Girls 0-12yrs & Teens 12-18yrs

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Page 22: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

22 January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

RENTALS RENTALS

RENTALS

AUTOMOTIVE

NEW MATTRESSES

All sizes with factory warranty.

Many styles, pillow top, orthopedic, Queen sets as low as $169

800.464.6420mattresscodirect.com

SHADOWRIDGE PARK APTSSame day sign

Additional $300 off Deposit1br from $13922br from $1487

Newly remodeled, fplc,W/D, pool, Fitness ctr.

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MILITARY SPECIALSame Day Sign

Additional $300 off Deposit•1BR from $1402•2BR from $1488

•TOWNHOME from $2122Foreclosure Forgiveness

Credit FriendlyGranite, Wshr/Dryer & Gar's

optional, fplc’s, gated, resort size pool, fitness ctr,

tennis, theatre &more. Prominence

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$$ Most Cash Paid $$For Cars, Trucks,

SUV's & RV's. Running or Not. Lost title okay.

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MILITARY PRESS CLASSIFIEDSTo place an ad or for more information, call858.537.2280

CASA LOMA APTSin Fallbrook - Studios,

1br/1ba, 2br/2baStarting at $735

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SPORTSEQUIPMENT& BIKES WANTEDCASH for Surfboards, Wetsuits,

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FOR SALE

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IMPERIAL BEACH1Br/1Ba – $825/mo2Br/1Ba – $995/moOn quiet cul-de-sac,

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Call Today 760.721.8585Or, Stop by 3891 San Ramon Drive

Genki Body Wellnesswww.genkimassage.sdCall Tina (619) 993-0316

Specializing in pain relief & relax-ation in your home or my office**military & Senior discounts

Licensed & Insured #3365

*CONDO FOR SALE*3 bd, 2 bth, 1380 sq. ft.

ex-large 2car garage, View,$262,000. Vista nice area.Jim- Brk-(951) 265-3798

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Military Personnel!Call for details

ATTN MILITARYNow Hiring Part Time

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Pedicab Drivers Wanted!Have fun and make money. Work your own hours. Top

drivers make $3,000 a month. PT or FT available. www.VIPpedicab.com

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NATIONAL CITYBeautiful Move-in Ready,

Quiet Lg 1br$875-$900 + $700 depositPool, BBQ, Rec Rm, LndryMarina 619.477.8000

BRAND NAME NEW MATTRESS'S FACTORY

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$150. NO Credit Check Financ-ing. 90 Days Interest Free.

Take home today for $40 upon approval. 50-80% off retail

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THRIFT TRADERCD’S - DVD’S - VINYL

CLOTHING - BOOKS- GOODIESBUY • SELL

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1416 Garnet, Pacific Beach858-272-7283

4879 Newport Av, Ocean Beach619-222-50112947 El Cajon Blvd.619-261-1744

FALLBROOKSpacious 1 & 2 BR Apts

Country Like Setting, Laundry Facility, Mins from PendletonNewer & Remodeled Units

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[email protected]

PROTECT YOUR MILITARY CAREERDUIs, Divorce, BankruptcyAlso available: Automobile/Personal

Injury, Trusts & Wills

Law Offices of Robert T. Plumb, II

619-437-4261www.ThePlumbLawFirm.com

Coronado/San Diego

MILITARY DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE

Military FriendlyBusinesses Military Friendly

Businesses

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COUNTRY LIFESTYLEWE LOVE LARGE DOGS! Experience infamous parks &

trails, award winning bar & grills plus the Lakeside Rodeo while only being minutes away from

freeways & shopping.• Pools • Gated communities,

• 3 onsite dog runs • AC • Yards • Spacious 1x1-2x1-2x2

Marilla Sundance (Lakeside) 619-561-2922Sunridge (Santee)

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LEXINGTON SR APTS.Serene Community in El Cajon

1BR Apts w/ Fully equipped kitch, AC & heat., Pvt. Patio/Balcony, Cable Ready & Pet Friendly • Rent Starting from $424/mo

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• 1 person less than $28,250/yr • 2 people less than $32,500/yr

Income Limits Apply

Psychic Reader Mark Star aka “Dr. Midnight”

True or Cheating? Lover or Liar?Answers all questions. Accurate predictions. Love spells offered.

Reasonable rates. Info at www.drmidnight.com

Now Hiring Call Center Agents Flexible PT Schedules

available Mon thru Sun between 7am & 10pm

Weekly paychecksFlexible hours that work

with your busy life!For IMMEDIATE consider-ation, mention you were referred by Victoria Wills

(858) 292-6751

Silly questionA man asks his best friend, Do you

ever talk to your wife during sex?”His friend replies, “Yeah, if she

calls.”

Dirty thingsA passionate wife told her husband

to whisper dirty things into her ear. The husband replied, “The kitchen, the living room, and the dining room.

Country humorDoctor: Nurse, what’s the condition

of the man who shoved six toy horses up his rectum?
Nurse: Stable.

JOKESCont’d. from Page 16

Overweight solutionThis woman was vastly overweight,

and I mean MASSIVE and she went to see the doctor about her weight.

She said to him, “Have you got any dieting remedies or anything that can help me lose weight?”

The doctor replies, “Yes we do, all you need to do is shake your head from left too right. Simple eh?!”

She says, “WOW that’s amazing, um... When do I do it?”

The doctor says, “Next time your open the refrigerator door..

TitlesTwo guys and a girl were sitting at a

bar talking about their lives.The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE.

You know, Young Urban Professional.”

The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids.”

They then asked the woman, “What are you?”

She replied: “I’m a WISE... You know, Wash, Iron, Sex, Etc.”

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday mind-ing my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.” The second engineer nodded approvingly. “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

UCLA studyA study conducted by UCLA’s De-

partment of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.Further studies are expected.

Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting “pe-dophile!” and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I’m 50.It completely spoiled our 10th an-niversary.

Page 23: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • [email protected] January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 23

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Page 24: Military Press, Zone 1, Jan. 1, 2014

24 January 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • [email protected]

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