managing difficult behaviour. introduction labelling people is often an unconscious act (rather than...
TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
• Labelling people is often an unconscious act (rather than describing their behaviour).
• We shift attention from what the person DID to who they are.
• People cannot change who they are / their personalities.
• They CAN change how they behave
Difficult employees (and how to handle them) http://www.inc.com/ss/geoffrey-james/annoying-colleagues-and-how-to-manage#9
Belak, T. (2004) How to handle difficult behavior in the workplace http://www.mediate.com/articles/belak4.cfm
Managing difficult behavior. http://www.lindsaywright.co.uk/M146%20-%20Managing%20Difficult%20Behaviour.pdf
Hostile / aggressive behaviour
Know it all Opinionated Defensive Arrogant Dictator Bully Demanding Critical Limited People skills Complainer
Ego-centered Negative Takes credit for all the work Does not respect others Does not follow the rules Condescending Angry Ignores other people’s
ideas Blames others Uses offensive body
language
Super-agreeable Yes person Over optimistic Takes things personally Passive-aggressive Crying at work Emotional Too talkative Weak listening skills
All ideas, no action Wastes time Goes along to keep peace Would not defend ideas
publicly Complains behind one’s
back Takes on too much work Puts in long hours Does not meet deadlines Agrees to projects, but
cannot fulfill results
Indecisive behaviour Does not meet
deadlines Procrastinates Un-organised Do not speak up in
meetings No new ideas Not innovative Afraid of change Fearful of loosing job To perfectionistic
To analytical Negative Focused on what won’t
work With holds information Work filled with
mistakes Work late arrival Unengaged Leaves work early
How to start describing behaviour rather than labelling
people.
1) Identify behaviour
2) Change behaviour to descriptive words
3) Consider the underlying reasons for behaviour
4) Look at impact on performance and productivity
An example• Identify behaviour– Lazy, apathetic and not engaged
• Change to descriptive words– Does not contribute in meetings
• Underlying reasons for behaviour– Shyness, lack of confidence
• Impact on performance and productivity– Frustrates co-workers and excluded from
meetings
Dealing with difficult behaviour
• General rules
• Active listening
• Assertiveness
• “Future tense feedback”
General rules• Do not respond when there is strong
emotion present.• Do not take conversation personally• Focus on desired outcome NOT
negative feelings and past history• Talk about behaviour NOT personality• State feelings calmly and candidly• Use humour if appropriate to relax a
tense filled environment
Use active listening• Be aware of others
needs, concerns and fears
• Be aware of your own non-verbal behaviour!
• Be aware of other persons non-verbal behaviour
• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes
• Try to hear the situation from their perspective
• Ask questions to gain understanding
• Concentrate• Make eye contact• Do not interrupt
Individuals who practice active listening skills exhibit the following
behavior:
Allow others finish what they are saying without interrupting them
Ask questions to gain more understandingPay attention to what others are saying by
maintaining comfortable eye contactRemain open-minded about others’ having a
right to their own opinionUse feedback and paraphrasing skills
“I” statements
• Speak from your point of view.
• Creates honesty and build trust
• Enhances personal accountability– I would appreciate your feedback– I heard you were unhappy– I was upset