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months leading up to the girls’ deaths, neither of them seemed despondent, but there were indications that all was not well. Both had spent the fall nursing per-sistent, painful ailments that derailed their soccer seasons. Cady suffered from debilitating GI issues that often left her clutching her stomach in misery.

Ciara was coping with chronic compart-ment syndrome, an agonizing disorder in which pressure builds up dangerously in the soft tissue of the body!—!in Ciara’s case, it was in her calves. She’d had six surgeries, none of them successful, and shortly before her death she had shelved her dreams of playing college soccer. She and Cady increasingly bonded while benched on the sidelines at games.

Given their physical challenges, cir-cumstances off the field may have taken on more intensity for the girls, too. Ciara’s parents were divorced, and each had remarried; Ciara had grown close to her stepfather over time but had a typical teen relationship with her mother, Kim Mathis. Although they were close, they would also butt heads. “It was really tough,” says Kim.

On a cool Sunday afternoon in November 2014, Cady Housh sat huddled with her high school soccer teammates in Olathe, KS, listening as their coach talked to

them about the weekend’s horrible news. Her friend and soccer teammate Ciara Webb, 16!—!one of the team’s top for-wards, a beautiful blond with a sunny smile and a wickedly sarcastic streak!— !had died, by suicide. As her teammates hugged, and the grief-stricken coach pleaded with the girls to confide in him or someone else if they ever had prob-lems, Cady stared off into the distance, silent and shaken. “I heard she wasn’t talking to anyone,” says a friend. “She was like a deer in headlights.”

Ciara’s death shook her school and community to the core. Cady, especially, seemed to be struggling; on Saturday night, she had tweeted that this was the worst weekend of her life. But no one

realized how deep the teen’s distress ran. She attended a boys’ soccer game at 6 P.M. on Sunday, and one of her coaches, Tommy Howell, remembers that “she seemed normal, not quiet, not alone, her own wise-guy self.” Two hours later, she went for a walk!—!and never returned. In the blink of an eye, Olathe lost two of its brightest stars to suicide.

“Cady was bubbly, outgoing…I never imagined that she would do this,” says a friend, Brooke. Though police deter-mined that the girls had not made a suicide pact, “Ciara’s death,” says Brooke, “had to have put the idea in Cady’s head.”

When parents hear of such tragedies happening to children like their own, it’s natural to wonder whether there were warning signs that were missed. In the

“She was mad at the world, and she took it out on me.” Kim noticed that Ciara was watching too much TV and not going out with friends. Worried that her daughter might be depressed, she took Ciara to a doctor, who prescribed medication. “She said it made her feel worse, so she went off it. Looking back, I feel I see signs now,” says Kim. “But she acted normal.”

As for Cady, her parents split up six months before she died. “It was tough on her,” says Coach Howell. The former honor student acted out by skipping classes and shoplifting; in June 2014, she was arrested for swiping a sweater from a local Macy’s. Around her friends, Cady laughed off the incident. But “it embarrassed her,” says her mom, Cathy. “I think it was a cry for help.” Cathy pushed Cady to get counseling, but the teen refused to go. Cathy saw a counselor on her own to seek help in reaching her daughter, but Cady was liv-ing with her father full-time and continued to cut classes, racking up four F’s.

Then Ciara died, discovered at home on a Friday by her mother, Kim. “I had to be hospitalized,” says Kim. “It makes you feel like your soul is gone.”

Cathy, Cady’s mom, didn’t know what had happened until Monday morning, when she saw an e-mail about the teen-ager’s death. She called her counselor to make an appointment for Cady, thinking that Ciara’s tragedy might finally push her daughter to agree to get support.

DOUBLE TRAGEDY INSPIRES A MOM’S MISSION

“LOOK FOR CLUES — DON’T BE IN DENIAL IF YOUR CHILD DOES SOMETHING OUT OF CHARACTER.”

TROUBLED TEAMMATES Cady Housh, left, and Ciara Webb lost their lives to suicide, as do roughly 4,600 young people in the U.S. every year. In many high schools, teens are taking prevention into their own hands by sending messages of support to their peers (opposite).

SAVING TEENS

fromTHEMSELVES

A shocking fact: One in 12 high school students has attempted suicide in the past year. There is no single reason, but the intense pressure teenagers feel to excel in the classroom, sports and social media can quickly build into a perfect storm of depression, impulse and opportunity!—! with horrific results. As families struggle to cope with unfathom-able loss, many are reaching out beyond their grief to ensure that no more children lose hope

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since suicide took the life of 17-year-old Josh Anderson, of Vienna, VA, seven years ago, his family has continued to grapple with the loss. Josh, a popular football player, died

the night before a disciplinary hearing at his school. He’d been caught with mari-juana and faced expulsion for the second time!—!he’d already been expelled from a different school for the same infraction.

To the outside world, he seemed to be holding it together despite the stress. But looking back, his sister Lauren Anderson suspects that Josh had been suffering from depression in silence, a burden she’s determined that no other teen should have to shoulder alone.

“Josh was never diagnosed, but in hindsight, there were signs,” says Lauren. “He was more lethargic, sleeping a lot, wasn’t motivated. And then he was faced with losing his entire life!—!that’s what it seemed like to him. I don’t think he could share what he was feeling because of shame. Thinking about suicide, feeling depressed and anxious, all those issues are really taboo. He was a big, strong athlete. You want to portray an image that you’re doing great.”

To help reach other kids like her brother before it’s too late, Lauren left her investment-banking job and began the Josh Anderson Foundation (JAF; joshandersonfoundation.org) in 2012. “Teens need to have the tools to help themselves!,” says Lauren. “That’s knowing

they can talk about it; it’s normalizing the topic of mental health.”

To date, JAF has raised $360,000 and run mental-health awareness programs for 62,000 students in 36 schools. Often, speakers are former students (both ath-letes and nonathletes) who talk frankly about their own depression and thoughts of suicide. “There is a lot of pressure [on kids] to get straight A’s, to be the club president, good at sports, good-looking,” says Lauren. “Kids who don’t fit into that feel like they’ve failed. We want the mes-sage to be that we support you as a total person. It’s better if students hear that from their peers.”

Josh’s family believes their efforts are making a difference. One day, Lauren received an e-mail from a school psy-chologist in Annandale, VA, saying that after going to a JAF event, a student had sought help for suicidal thoughts she’d harbored for two years. The teen got therapy and is doing well.

“When Josh died, life as I knew it was over,” says Lauren. “It helps to think that he died so that others could live.” —!JH

ONE FAMILY FIGHTS BACK

H O W T O H E L P Y O U R C H I L D

Maybe you have a gut feeling. Or your teen might actually say he or she is suicidal. In any case, don’t fear that you’re overreact-ing. Your intervention could save your child’s life.

Tell your teen you’ve noticed he’s behaving differently and you’re wondering what that might mean. Ask if he is thinking of hurting himself and whether he’s made any plans or attempts to kill himself. “Assure your child that he can tell you anything and that you love him no matter what,” says Asarnow. “Say there is no problem that’s too big for you to solve together.”

Listen to and acknowledge your child’s emotions calmly and without judgment. “Many teens don’t talk about suicide because they’re afraid their parents will be upset,” says Cathy Strunk, M.S.N., R.N., director of the Surviving the Teens/Suicide Prevention Program at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center. If your child won’t talk to you, ask if there’s a doctor, a teacher or someone else he will confide in.

Restrict access to harm. “Fire-arms should not be in the house,” says Keith King, Ph.D., director of health promotion and education at the University of Cincinnati. Lock up prescription and OTC medications, cleaners, alcohol and other items that can be used on impulse to inflict self-harm.

Make home a safe, loving place. Research shows that family connectedness helps prevent teen suicide. Especially if your child seems at risk and is isolated from his peers, whether socially or because he’s grounded, limit his time alone. If you can’t be with him, find someone who can be.

Ask your child’s doctor or school counselor for a referral to a mental-health specialist. If you think he is in imminent danger, take him to an ER, call 911 or the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 800-273-8255. —!PR

Changes in eating and sleeping habits, loss of interest in formerly loved activities, withdrawal from friends and family.Saying he or she “feels trapped,” that things will never get better.

Experiencing a big loss, such as a death or a breakup.Spending a lot of time alone on the computer (check the browser history for suicide-themed searches).

Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose in life. Reckless or self-injuring behavior (such as abusing alcohol and drugs or burning or cutting).

Giving away beloved possessions. Being bullied or feeling deep emotional pain.Saying he or she wants to die, making statements like “You’d be better off without me.” —!Peg Rosen

R I S K F A C T O R S F O R T E E N S U I C I D E

“I didn’t know Cady was already dead by then,” says Cathy. “They didn’t even come and notify me on Sunday night. My sister called to tell me.”

Grieving deeply, the mothers buried their children. A few months later, Cathy and Kim met. “We hugged and cried and held each other’s hands,” says Cathy. The two spoke on the phone regularly after-ward. “We don’t have to explain to each

other what we’re feeling or why,” she says. “Just hearing each other’s voices is encouraging. We believe that our girls are together, trying to send us peace.”

These days, Cathy is honoring her daughter by sharing her story and talk-ing frankly with other parents and teens

about the risks and warning signs of suicide. “Look for clues,” says Cathy. “Don’t be in denial if they’re struggling or doing something out of character. Getting them therapy is not a punish-ment.” (For more warning signs, see “Risk Factors for Teen Suicide,” below.)

Shortly after Cady’s death, Cathy began working with local high school students on a skit series intended to

let teens know how to find help if they needed it. “Kids were taught they could not stay silent when friends talked about suicide,” says Cathy. “They were asked to sign pledges that they would not commit suicide and that they would intervene with friends.” After the

session, five students confided to school counselors that they had had thoughts of harming themselves.

Most recently, Cathy has been actively pressing for the passage of the Jason Flatt Act in Kansas and Missouri; initi-ated by the family of a Tennessee boy who died from suicide in 1997, the act mandates enforcement of teachers’ yearly certification in suicide-prevention training in states that pass it (16 states have done so thus far). In Tennessee alone, youth suicides went down 28% after the law went into effect. (See “What Can Schools Do?”, opposite, for more suicide-prevention programs your school should be aware of.)

“I miss my daughter more than I thought was humanly possible,” says Cathy. “I feel a huge responsibility to others and to Cady to raise awareness. I don’t want her death to have been in vain.” —!Julie Halpert

GRAPPLING WITH GRIEFFar left, a vigil for Ciara and Cady. “I’m not so sure I’m in favor of them anymore,” says Cady’s mom. “Does it glorify suicide, maybe make it more appealing for a child who is struggling?” Near left, Ciara’s teammates come together to honor her through her jersey number.

HIDING HIS PAIN Josh, center, with his family. Sister Lauren, third from left, thinks peers can help prevent more tragedies.

1 SCREEN TEENS FOR SUICIDE RISK. The Columbia Suicide Severity

Rating Scale is a user-friendly question-naire that can help school administrators and doctors detect suicidal kids and catch them before they act. cssrs.columbia.edu

2 TEACH TEENS TO HELP ONE ANOTHER. Surviving the Teens,

a suicide-prevention program, educates kids to watch out for one another on social media, in school and during sports, as well as on what to do if they notice warning signs in peers. cincinnatichildrens .org/surviving-teens

3 PROVIDE HOTLINE NUMBERS. Some teen populations may

be at greater risk of suicide than others. Thousands of teens who are struggling with their sexual iden-tity have been helped by The Trevor Project (866-488-7386).

—!PR

W H AT C A N S C H O O L S D O ?

PREVENTION WORKS: TEACHER TRAINING CUT TEEN SUICIDES 28%

Suicide is rarely “out of the blue,” according to Joan Asarnow, Ph.D., director of the Youth Stress and Mood Program at UCLA School of Medicine. “It’s likely that we miss the warning signs, which can look different

in teens than in adults,” she says. Depressed teens may appear angry, not sad, for instance. And adults may dismiss extreme moodiness as teen melodrama or idle threats. Do not ignore these signals:

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